Edward's Eclipse
by ForksVampireGirl
Summary: My second venture into Edward's mind. Like Midnight Sun Continued, all dialogue taken from the series is quoted exactly. The rest is just my overactive imagination. Hope you enjoy!
1. Ultimatum EPOV

A/N: Hi everyone!!! How I've missed you all. Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, passed along, and showed so much support for Midnight Sun Continued. You all make my heart happy. I got many requests for more Edward chapters, and most of them were from Eclipse...so I decided it was time to begin a new trip into our favorite vampire's mind. I've found myself on bed rest for the last few weeks of my pregnancy, so for now, I have quite a bit of time on my hands. I don't know how far I'll make it into this before our little girl makes her appearance, but I promise, though there may be a gap in time somewhere in the not too distant future, I won't abandon this story. It'll be my "grown up time." :)

As always, Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight – and my heart. Thanks for reading, and I look forward to hearing from all of you! (((vampire hugs)))

**Edward's Eclipse**

**Ultimatum – EPOV**

_She isn't ready for this, she doesn't understand what she's giving up. And I'm running out of time._

Like most evenings lately, I was pacing around the house, thinking about everything I didn't want to think about while I waited for my Charlie approved visiting hours to start. Aggravated, I tried to focus on Bella and what she would be doing right now, in hopes that it would momentarily ease my anxiety. I pictured her cooking for Charlie, discussing their day, taking care of her homework, worrying about Jacob...

Great. I manage one moment of reprieve from fearing for her mortality and where do my thoughts go? Werewolves. My mind was once again entirely incapable of just letting it go. They weren't even on speaking terms, he'd made no attempt to contact or see her. Why couldn't we all just forget about the dog and get back the the way things were?

It had actually amazed me how, at least for the most part, in the weeks since Italy, our lives _had _returned to normal. Well, normal for us. Aside from Bella's preoccupation with wanting to make sure Jacob was okay, she seemed more or less the same as before I'd left. Before I'd made the worst mistake of my very long life.

If I was being honest with myself, I still hadn't fully accepted Bella's forgiveness, though she gave it willingly and completely. I knew she downplayed how much I'd hurt her when I left, assuring me on an almost daily basis that it didn't matter because we were together now. She trusted me – with her heart, with her very life – yet, I couldn't make myself believe her in this one thing.

Perhaps it was because I was endlessly reminded of how terrible it had really been for her. While Bella's ever silent mind was able to shield me from the reality of what I did, I was constantly assaulted from all other sides. The week I'd returned to school, every one of Bella's friend's thoughts were acidic, and very directly pointed at me. There were varying degrees of hatred, depending on the person's relationship to Bella, but one thing was constant among each of them.

I had caused Bella more pain than any human being should have to suffer.

And in truth, they didn't know the half of it. While the entire population of Forks seemed to have witnessed her breakdown, only myself and my family knew what she had gone through to rescue me. I thought I knew what fear was, but nothing could have prepared me for the sight of my Bella, fragile and breakable, standing before the most powerful and deadly of all vampires. I had never known true terror, until I listened to the minds of the Volturi contemplate ways to destroy the person I loved more than anything else in this world.

The night Bella and I had returned from Italy was both the best and worst of my existence. I was grateful beyond anything I'd ever felt that the stars had finally aligned for us, and we had been miraculously released from the Volturi's hold and allowed to return home. Of course, the only reason Bella's overly extensive vampire knowledge had been forgiven was Alice's assurance that Bella would soon be one of us. And Bella's enthusiasm and determination for this outcome was precisely the thing that now had me pacing around the living room.

"You need to stop trying to make her decisions for her."

Carlisle's voice brought me abruptly from my thoughts. I looked up at him skeptically and shook my head. I really wasn't up for another argument.

Carlisle had been more than a little persistent since Bella's little voting escapade the night we'd returned. It was hard to shake the feeling of betrayal as every member of my family, with the exception of Rosalie, had sat around a table and agreed with Bella's decision to end her human life. And you know things are bad when the only one _not _against you is Rose.

"If the time comes and Bella still wants me to change her, you know I'm going to keep my word," he said solemnly.

"I know," I said through gritted teeth.

"I don't want this to be a point of animosity between us, Edward."

"How can it not be? You know I don't agree with her choice, and yet you'll still go through with it."

"Yes, I will. Because it's _her _choice." He sighed, then added much more softly, "Though you know that isn't my only reason."

My eyes shut tight as I tried desperately to block out the path his thoughts had taken him on. I knew what he meant, why did he have to paint the pictures so clearly for me?

Carlisle had realized long ago, long before Italy, that I would not live with Bella. The night of the vote, after Bella had gone home, he'd tried to appease my anger at him by explaining that while he loved Bella and truly desired for her to be part of our family, the main reason he'd agreed to change her was because of me.

He told me that the agony he'd felt waiting to find out whether or not I'd been destroyed by the Volturi was something he wasn't willing to go through again. Whether consciously or not, any time Bella's mortality was brought up, his mind shuffled through all the ways her life could end, and he knew if something were to happen, I would finish what I had foolishly started once before. Only this time, Bella wouldn't be there to save me.

"I have to go," I said abruptly, eager to have Bella at my side again. She always had a way of pushing my fears aside, and focusing on the present – on us.

"Are you coming back tonight?" he asked.

Every night, after Charlie kicked me out, I had a brief amount of time on my hands before joining Bella again by way of her window. Some nights I came home, others I simply waited outside for her. On occasion, I went to her room while she finished the rest of her evening tasks. I couldn't help it. Sometimes, I just needed to see the grin on her face when she found me stretched out on her bed, waiting for her.

"I'm not sure. Depends on how much help she needs with the college applications." And by help, I meant stubborn refusal that ended in me filling out most of them for her.

"Don't put too much pressure on her," Carlisle urged. "If you relax and let her start to enjoy the idea of going to college, she might decide she wants to try it for awhile."

I smiled, glad that at the very least, he wasn't _quite _as anxious as Bella was for her transformation. He also knew that at this point, I wasn't really holding out hope of changing her mind. All I could really hope for was more time.

When I arrived at Bella's house, I stopped at the door to listen. I probably should have felt guilty for all the times I'd spent listening to her and Charlie's evening talks, but it was still so hard for me not being able to hear her mind, I found myself taking every opportunity to learn her better. Tonight, they were talking about college. Charlie was proud and excited that she'd received her first acceptance, but less than thrilled by how far away it was. Although I'd never given any indication that I was planning to leave the state for college, a part of him assumed the two of us were planning to run away together, and he was blaming me for her eagerness to leave Forks behind. If only I could tell him that in this instance, I was entirely on his side. I wanted Bella to stay close to Charlie. It was the tie I knew she was having the hardest time thinking about breaking, and I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit I was planning on using that to buy myself more time.

"I was just...wondering what...Edward's plans are for next year?" Charlie asked nervously. Bella stuttered and I recognized my cue.

I knocked with a small smirk on my face, already anticipating her relieved expression as I heard her call, "Coming!"

"Go away," Charlie muttered and I stifled a laugh.

Bella opened the door and smiled her most radiant smile at me. If my heart was still beating, it would have been pounding as I watched her eyes travel across my face and eventually lock gazes with mine. I heard her breath start and stop, and I quirked an eyebrow at the strange expression that had momentarily taken hold of her. Whatever it was, it passed as quickly as it had come, and she laced her soft, delicate fingers with mine, making me feel like I was coming home.

"Hey," she said softly, smiling at me lazily.

I lifted our hands up, twined together, with the intention of kissing her hand, but was supremely aware of Charlie's glare in my general direction. Instead, I let my hand graze against her cheek, relishing in the warmth her skin always provided me.

"How was your afternoon?" I asked.

"Slow."

"For me, as well." Every moment I spent apart from her felt like it dragged on forever.

Unable to resist bringing her closer, I lifted our hands up to my nose, lightly brushing against her skin as her glorious scent filled my every sense. I closed my eyes and drank in her perfection. I could feel her pulse through her wrist, and as I let out a slow sigh, her heart started pounding faster. The rush of adrenaline that coursed through her veins made her smell so much more potent, but my control didn't waver for one second.

I don't think she truly understood how different everything was now. I knew she could tell I was more relaxed being closer to her – we'd certainly spent enough nights curled up together to prove that. But I doubted she comprehended the magnitude of what thinking I'd lost her had done to me. Everything inside me ached, felt real, physical pain, at the thought of anything ever hurting her again. Especially me. While I knew I still needed to be careful around her, the urge to protect her was more instinctual now than even my most basic need. Her blood would always sing to me, but I knew that the magnificent sound of her beating heart would always keep me from answering the call.

Charlie's frenzied and disapproving thoughts interrupted my moment of reverie, and I opened my eyes just in time to see him glowering at me.

"Good evening, Charlie," I said politely, determined not to let my manners slip, even in the face of near hatred.

He grumbled, not moving from his protective stance. It was impossible to be angry with Charlie. It was clear he loved Bella dearly, and his resistance to me was merely a product of how deeply I'd hurt her. I could never blame him for doing everything in his power to make sure she never felt that kind of pain again.

"I brought another set of applications," I told Bella, holding up the hand that wasn't clutching hers. She groaned as she noticed the quite large roll of stamps around my finger, and I knew she was hoping we'd worn out our options. I'd been making her apply to anywhere and everywhere I thought might make her happy. There had to be _something _out there exciting enough to make her want at least a taste of the college experience. I also personally blamed myself and my absence for making her miss most of the deadlines, so I didn't feel the least bit guilty using the Cullen name – not to mention our monetary resources – to make sure Bella had an endless number of options to choose from.

"There are still a few open deadlines," I assured her, then added with a grin, "And a few places willing to make exceptions."

She cringed at my words and I felt her grip on my hand increase. I laughed, though I did hope she wouldn't be too mad at me for my persistence.

"Shall we?" I asked, leading her to the kitchen with a disgruntled Charlie behind us.

I arranged the applications by order of relevance, and likelihood of eliciting a response other than an eye roll from Bella. As she cleared the table, I noticed her grab her very worn copy of _Wuthering Heights. _I looked at her skeptically, wondering how she could read it so many times. For someone who supposedly adored love stories, I simply couldn't understand her fascination with what I could only consider a story of hate. What joy could she possibly get from a story whose characters were so cruel?

"Speaking of college applications, Edward," Charlie said, stopping me from making a comment I probably would have regretted about one of Bella's favorite books. "Bella and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where you're going to school?"

Never had Charlie's mind been clearer than in that moment. He wanted me far, _far_ away, in some miserable climate he could feel confident Bella wouldn't be willing to live in. Of course, he had no way of knowing that Bella's plans centered around bad weather and isolation from civilization.

"Not yet," I answered, distracting myself from that line of thinking. "I've received a few acceptance letters, but I'm still weighing my options."

"Where have you been accepted?"

"Syracuse...Harvard...Dartmouth...and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today," I added, winking at Bella and making her chuckle.

"Harvard? Dartmouth?" Charlie asked, openly gaping. "Well that's pretty...that's something. Yeah, but the University of Alaska...you wouldn't really consider that when you could go Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to..."

"Carlisle's always fine with whatever I choose to do," I said calmly. Besides, I didn't have a cap and gown from University of Alaska yet. It might be time to expand the collection again.

I ignored Charlie's irritated grumbling, as Bella's face broke into a huge smile.

"Guess what, Edward?"

"What, Bella?"

"I just got _my _acceptance into the University of Alaska!"

"Congratulations! What a coincidence."

We really were enjoying this too much. I almost felt a little guilty as Charlie mumbled, "Fine. I'm going to go watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty."

"Er, Dad?" she asked cautiously. "Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom...?"

My eyes widened a bit. That part of the conversation must have happened before I'd arrived. Was Charlie finally over the worst of his brooding?

"Right," he sighed. "Okay, _ten_-thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights."

"Bella's no longer grounded?" I asked, excited by the possibility of spending time with her somewhere other than her house. Plus, my family really missed her. Alice was the only one who ever got to see her anymore, and even that was only because of the effect she seemed to have on Charlie. She swore it wasn't intentional, but I could hear her annoyingly smug thoughts when she was allowed to stay long past Bella's normal visiting hours.

"Conditionally," Charlie grumbled. "What's it to you?"

"It's just good to know. Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and I'm sure Bella would love to see some city lights."

I smiled at Bella, thinking of all the places I could take her to celebrate her newly restored freedom. She'd seen nothing but the school and the four walls of her house for so long, she might actually let me get away with taking her for an extravagant night on the town. Unfortunately, my thoughts were stopped in their tracks.

"No!" Charlie yelled, and we both turned to him, wide eyed.

"Dad! What's the problem?" Bella asked anxiously as I listened to her heart race.

"I don't want you going to Seattle right now."

"Huh?"

"I told you about that story in the paper – there's some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle and I want you to steer clear, okay?"

Gang activity. Right. Humans were always quick to place some kind of blanket of blame on gangs or serial killers when they didn't understand what was really going on. Whatever sells the papers. I guess in a way, we should be thankful they had no problem fabricating excuses for the atrocities that were occurring. If anyone found out the truth, we'd have a whole different set of problems to deal with.

"Dad," Bella breathed, obviously embarrassed by his overprotective outburst, "there's a better chance that I'll get struck by lightning than that the one day I'm in Seattle – "

"No, that's fine, Charlie," I said, quick to appease his worries. I needed him to understand I was as concerned with Bella's safety as he was. And in truth, there was no way I would take Bella anywhere near Seattle, though it had nothing to do with gang activity. "I didn't mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldn't have Bella in Seattle, either. Of course not."

I quickly glanced down at the latest newspaper article, wondering how bad it would get before someone intervened. The thought that these things were being allowed to continue appalled me. What did the Volturi exist for if not to step in when they were needed? And they were most definitely needed.

"Fine," I heard Charlie grumble as he left the room, but my thoughts were elsewhere. Things had gotten even worse than I'd realized.

"What – " Bella started to ask, but I knew Charlie's attention wasn't entirely fixed on the game yet.

"Hold on," I said, passing her an application. "I think you can recycle your essays for this one. Same questions." She sighed, but took the sheet reluctantly.

It was hard to believe as I gazed out her window, the reality of what was happening in Seattle. At first, Carlisle had assumed it was just a single vampire, or perhaps a small coven, passing through the city and simply being less cautious than usual. But then the numbers had gone up. Very rarely did nomads stay in one place for long – too many deaths in one area led to suspicions. Then, when the headlines started appearing and the murders continued, we knew we were dealing with something out of the ordinary.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been silent, but Bella suddenly made a sound of disapproval and pushed the application across the table to me.

"Bella?"

"Be serious, Edward. _Dartmouth_?"

I gently set the papers in front of her again, unwilling to be swayed by her self doubts. If Dartmouth appealed to her, I could assure her acceptance.

"I think you'd like New Hampshire. There's a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife," I told her with a grin. After all this time, I was no longer shocked by her casual acceptance of my way of life, and I was generally left with amusement. She continued to stare at me, unwavering, so I added, "I'll let you pay me back, if that makes you happy. If you want, I can charge you interest."

"Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe," she scoffed. "Or was that part of the loan? The new Cullen wing of the library? Ugh. Why are we having this discussion again?"

I knew what the next sentence was, though she couldn't speak it out loud for fear of Charlie overhearing. My hands instinctively clenched into fists as determination blazed in her eyes.

"Will you just fill out the application, please, Bella? It won't hurt you to apply."

"You know what? I don't think I will," she said stubbornly, starting to gather the papers. I quickly snatched them from her, and tucked them safely away. I was prepared for this. Nothing, not even Bella's own resistance, was going to stop her from having choices when the time came.

"What are you doing?" she asked, irritated.

"I sign your name better than you do yourself. You've already written the essays." I smiled, unrepentant, and Bella's frustrated voice dropped to a whisper.

"You're going way overboard with this, you know. I really don't need to apply anywhere else. I've been accepted in Alaska. I can almost afford the first semester's tuition. It's as good an alibi as any. There's no need to throw away a bunch of money, no matter whose it is."

I felt a sharp, agonizing pain as her words sunk in. Though this had been the plan all along, hearing her say it aloud made it that much more real. This was all nothing more than a cover story for her. She didn't care how many schools she was accepted into, where they were or what they could offer her. As long as they provided her with a reasonable excuse to move away, she could disappear, and finally get what she thought she wanted most.

"Bella – " I started to plead, but we both knew where that argument led.

"Don't start. I agree that I need to go through the motions for Charlie's sake, but we both know I'm not going to be in any condition to go to school next fall. To be anywhere near people."

"I thought the timing was still undecided," I hedged, holding onto my last bit of hope. I needed more time. _She _needed more time. "You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you've never had."

"I'll get to those afterward."

"They won't be _human_ experiences afterward. You don't get a second chance at humanity, Bella."

Though I'd never admitted it out loud, there was a huge part of me that blamed myself for her more than slightly skewed idea of what vampire life entailed. She saw me and my family leading a, more or less, normal life. Carlisle worked, Alice shopped, we went to school. We all spent a significant amount of time among humans. We'd had decades to practice curbing our thirst, and appearing normal was something we did because it was expected of us. It was a necessary choice we made when we decided we didn't want to live as the nomads did. We wanted a life, or at least something resembling a life. Bella didn't truly know the struggle we'd all faced in the beginning, or the struggles we continued to face on a daily basis.

I'd always tried to shield Bella from the more gruesome aspects of our existence. Though I'd given her a vague idea, I hadn't gone into many details about my rebellious years and the murders I was responsible for. If it weren't for Carlisle, I might still be living that way. I'd never allowed her to see us hunt, so while she was able to joke about our dining habits, I wasn't entirely convinced she had a clear picture of what she would be facing.

"You've got to be reasonable about the timing, Edward," Bella said, breaking me from my thoughts. "It's just too dangerous to mess around with."

"There's no danger yet," I said, hating to hear her talk about her transformation like it was the only way to keep her safe. My family and I would keep her safe. I would _not _allow her to be scared into this decision.

She stared in me, disbelief apparent on her face. It's true, I wasn't arguing that her life had been in danger repeatedly. I cursed myself every day for having allowed any of it to happen. I watched her face contort as she likely recalled all she'd been through since I entered her life. I could see the fear in her eyes, and though I couldn't hear her thoughts, I had a very clear picture of what her mind was putting her through. I knew, because, as much as I tried to fight them, I had those same thoughts. She was imagining all the things that could happen to her, from freak accidents, to more vampire attacks, so simple old age.

"Bella," I said softly, trying to both reassure her and calm my own worries. "There's no hurry. I won't let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need."

"I want to hurry," she said quickly, trying to shake all the concern off her face. She smiled a very forced smile. "I want to be a monster, too."

Fury suddenly took hold of me, though I could never find it in myself to be angry with her. It was my fault she didn't understand the truth of what we were. I'd fought so hard to protect her, to help her not be afraid, but I knew I would hate myself forever if I allowed her to go through with her plans without fully understanding what she would become.

"You have no idea what you're saying," I growled, dropping the newspaper in front of her and pointing to the headline.

**DEATH TOLL ON THE RISE, POLICE FEAR GANG ACTIVITY**

"What does that have to do with anything?" she asked, even now not comprehending what I was trying to tell her.

"Monsters are not a joke, Bella," I said firmly, locking eyes with her before her gaze traveled back to the paper. Comprehension flickered, and her eyes once again met mine.

"A...a _vampire_ is doing this?" she asked, panic evident in her shaky whisper. Though I hated to frighten her, I knew what needed to be said. She had to know that what she'd observed of me and my family, was not an accurate depiction of our world. There were horrors beyond even what she'd witnessed with the nomads and the Volturi.

"You'd be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your human news. It's easy to recognize, when you know what to look for. The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle. Bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we all were."

I let my words sink in as she looked down at the paper, new understanding in her eyes. She had to wonder – would she be like that? Would she be responsible for the deaths of innocents?

"We've been monitoring the situation for a few weeks. All the signs are there – the unlikely disappearances, always in the night, the poorly disposed-of corpses, the lack of other evidence...Yes, someone brand-new. And no one seems to be taking responsibility for the neophyte..."

I realized Bella's breathing had turned shallow and her heart was racing, and instantly I regretted having spoken so bluntly. I knew it was necessary, but I couldn't shut out the pain I felt at having upset her. I breathed deeply and tried to take at least some of the edge out of my voice.

"Well, it's not our problem. We wouldn't even pay attention to the situation if it wasn't going on so close to home. Like I said, this happens all the time. The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences."

There was a long silence while Bella's eyes flashed dismally across the page. I wished she would say something, so I could know what effect my words had had on her. Eventually, her breathing returned to normal, though when she spoke, it was still that shaky whisper from before.

"It won't be the same for me. You won't let me be like that. We'll live in Antarctica."

Though entirely inappropriate to laugh, I couldn't help myself. She'd inadvertently conjured a rather entertaining visual for me, and I realized she was right. I would go to positively absurd lengths to make sure she didn't end up like that savage in Seattle.

"Penguins. Lovely," I muttered, and was happy to hear Bella laugh again, even if it was an uneasy laugh.

"Alaska, then, as planned. Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau – somewhere with grizzlies galore."

"Better," I said, glad the tension had eased. "There are polar bears, too. Very fierce. And the wolves get quite large."

Suddenly, Bella was gaping at me, the color of her cheeks reddening, but not from her usual blush.

"What's wrong?" I asked, but the moment the words had left my mouth, I knew what I'd done. The sick irony was not lost on me. All I'd wanted for weeks was to forget about Jacob, let my subconscious believe he no longer existed. For once, I'd finally succeeded, and it turns out it was just long enough for me to upset Bella.

"Oh," I said, hoping she would just want to move on quickly. "Never mind the wolves, then, if the idea is offensive to you."

"He was my best friend, Edward," she said softly, though there was a definite edge to her voice. "Of course the idea offends me."

"Please forgive my thoughtlessness. I shouldn't have suggested that."

"Don't worry about it."

I watched her eyes turn slightly glassy, and I ached to know I'd hurt her again. She was hiding from me, too, I knew that. I could see that a part of her wanted to be able to talk about it with me, but she was worried I wouldn't want to hear. Which I didn't. But that didn't mean I wouldn't listen, if it would help her heal some of the pain.

I reached out to touch her face, lifting her chin up gently so she could see the sincerity in my eyes. I felt her relax under my touch, though her expression was still agonized.

"Sorry," I repeated. "Really."

"I know. I know it's not the same thing. I shouldn't have reacted that way. It's just that...well, I was already thinking about Jacob before you came over."

She paused, probably worried about offending me. I tried to keep the ire out of my eyes as my thoughts drifted to less than pleasant thoughts about Jacob. I could feel the frustration building, so I returned my focus to Bella. I knew she thought about him often. And yes, it upset me, but I still wanted her to open up.

"Charlie says Jake is having a hard time," she continued, even more quietly than before. "He's hurting right now, and...it's my fault."

"You've done nothing wrong, Bella."

I felt my posture relax infinitesimally. It was easier to think that Bella's concern for Jacob was a product the irrational guilt she often placed on herself. Anything was better than thinking there were unresolved feelings for him under the surface, feelings I couldn't fault her for but that slowly ate away at me. I knew what Jacob had been to her during my absence, and while I was grateful for whatever ability he had to help heal her, I wanted to believe his part in our story was over.

"I need to make it better, Edward. I owe him that. And it's one of Charlie's conditions, anyway – "

I felt my body tense and my fists clench. If only Charlie knew what he was sending Bella into. Not that a vampire would be much of an improvement over a werewolf if he knew the truth. Still, it didn't seem fair that Charlie was pushing Bella into Jacob's arms while he loathed my very existence.

"You know it's out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella. And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want us to start a war?"

"Of course not!"

"Then there's really no point in discussing the matter further." I tried to fill my voice with a sense of finality, but I knew Bella better than that. The subject was far from over. The most I could hope for at this point was to delay it until we'd both had time to calm down.

Desperate to be talking about something, _anything, _else, I glanced behind her at the book she'd set aside earlier.

"I'm glad Charlie has decided to let you out – you're sadly in need of a visit to the bookstore. I can't believe you're reading _Wuthering Heights_ again. Don't you know it by heart yet?"

"Not all of us have photographic memories," she snapped, still upset. What I wouldn't have given for Charlie to magically disappear into his room, so I could sweep Bella upstairs and make everything right again. She always seemed so much more forgiving when she was in my arms. Reluctantly, I settled for discussing her book. Maybe she would finally be able to explain what she found so enjoyable about it.

"Photographic memory or not, I don't understand why you like it. The characters are ghastly people who ruin each others' lives. I don't know how Heathcliff and Cathy ended up being ranked with couples like Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. It isn't a love story, it's a hate story."

"You have some serious issues with the classics," she said bitterly.

"Perhaps it's because I'm not impressed by antiquity," I said with a smirk. When she didn't respond, I started to wonder if discussing the book had been a bad choice. Maybe I'd actually offended her and made everything worse. I hoped she didn't think I was trying to pick a fight, or turn her against one of her favorite literary couples. I just genuinely needed to understand how such a dark story could have captured her heart so completely.

"Honestly, though, why _do_ you read it over and over?" I asked, eyes pleading as I reached out to touch her face.

"I'm not sure," she breathed, her expression softening at my sudden interest. "I think it's something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart – not her selfishness, or his evil, or even death, the in the end..."

And somehow, I started to understand. Though it might never sit on my shelf among my favorites, I could begin to see what had intrigued Bella. I myself understood something of inevitability, though before Bella, it had only manifested itself in my mind as the unchangeable life I'd been doomed to live in. Then, miraculously, she'd changed everything. All the things I'd lived through and experiences I'd had seemed to have been working together to bring me to her. By all accounts, I should have left this Earth long ago. I shouldn't be here to love her. Yet here I sat, against all odds, with my reason for being at my side. I certainly didn't deserve it – I was as vile a being as Heathcliff.

I wished I could be better for her.

"I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality," I added with a smile, trying to push away my feelings of unworthiness. I'd promised myself to stay away from conversations involving my not deserving her. Though I would always know it's true, it seemed to upset her to hear me speak it aloud.

"I think that may be the point," she continued. "Their love _is _their only redeeming quality."

As Bella was mine.

"I hope you have better sense than that – to fall in love with someone so...malignant."

"It's a bit late for me to worry about who I fall in love with," she assured me. "But even without the warning, I seem to have managed fairly well."

I laughed under my breath. Of course I didn't agree, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been hoping to hear those exact words.

"I'm glad _you_ think so," I said with a grin.

"Well, I hope you're smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff."

"I'll be on my guard."

The atmosphere had grown lighter and I began tracing her soft cheeks with my thumb. It felt so natural, having her face gently resting in my hands. She leaned into my touch with a sigh, closing her eyes for a moment before her expression shifted once again.

"I need to see Jacob," she said firmly, and I shut my eyes to momentarily escape her stare.

"No."

"It's truly not dangerous at all. I used to spend all day in La Push with the whole lot of them, and nothing ever happened."

She'd never gone into the specifics of her time with the wolves, and I'd honestly been happy not knowing exactly how deep into their world she'd let herself fall. But something in her voice told me she'd seen at least a glimpse of what I'd been warning her about. Her heart beat steadily faster as I allowed whatever memory had taken hold of her to unfold completely. Her eyes widened and I nodded in understanding. She hadn't been hurt, but there had been a moment of danger.

"Werewolves are unstable," I said, my voice even but firm. "Sometimes, the people near them get hurt. Sometimes, they get killed."

I watched as her expression shifted again, and it was a battle not to ask what she'd witnessed. I didn't want to think of her having ever been in peril, especially when I knew it was my fault she'd been put in that position. My leaving had forced her to seek refuge in a place that could only offer her more danger.

"You don't know them," she finally said, her voice barely a whisper.

"I know them better than you think, Bella. I was here the last time."

"The last time?"

"We started crossing paths with the wolves about seventy years ago...We had just settled near Hoquiam. That was before Alice and Jasper were with us. We outnumbered them, but that wouldn't have stopped it from turning into a fight if not for Carlisle. He managed to convince Ephraim Black that coexisting was possible, and eventually we made the truce."

I paused for a moment, thinking back to the courage Carlisle had shown. He knew it would be difficult to convince them that our family was different, but his desire for peace among our kinds was so strong, Ephraim couldn't in good conscience refuse us.

So many decades had passed since the days of the wolves, we were certain that whatever danger had brought them about in the first place was long gone, and our adherence to the treaty had shown them our trustworthiness. We'd always assumed there had to be someone there to actively continue the line, so when Ephraim was gone and no new wolves emerged, we were convinced their time had ended.

"We thought the line had died out with Ephraim. That the genetic quirk which allowed the transmutation had been lost..." I whispered, lost in thought.

I looked up at Bella, wondering how it was even possible we were having this conversation. How had the wolves resurfaced? And why?

"Your bad luck seems to get more potent every day. Do you realize that your insatiable pull for all things deadly was strong enough to recover a pack of mutant canines from extinction? If we could bottle your luck, we'd have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands."

I was mostly kidding, though a part of me wondered if I was onto something. If it was a desire to protect that caused the wolves to resurface, then I couldn't imagine a stronger pull than desire to protect Bella. She may not have been the initial cause, but if she was in danger for a single moment, even I couldn't fault Jacob for protecting her by any means necessary. I never thought I'd find myself grateful for the emergence of a werewolf, but he _did _save her life, and I knew for that, I would forever be in his debt.

"But _I_ didn't bring them back," Bella said, the fierceness in her voice startling me. Her tone was strained, almost accusing. "Don't you know?"

"Know what?"

"My bad luck had nothing to do with it. The werewolves came back because the vampires did. Jacob told me that your family being here set things in motion. I thought you would already know..."

My feelings of gratitude toward Jacob were quickly replaced with anger as I realized he had crossed yet another line. How dare he speak of things he knows nothing about? He wasn't there in the beginning, and there's only so much hearing the stories can teach someone. Our bond was strong as long as the rules were followed. Today, as it had always been, the treaty was firmly in place. None of my family had given the Quileutes any reason to doubt us. We'd been living in Forks for quite some time without any appearance of the wolves, and I resented his assumption that we were the cause of their return.

"Is that what they think?" I asked, still bewildered. Perhaps the presence of the nomads and their careless disregard for human life, but not us...

"Edward, look at the facts. Seventy years ago, you came here, and the werewolves showed up. You come back now, and the werewolves show up again. Do you think that's a coincidence?"

I still wasn't convinced – we'd done nothing to provoke them.. Still, I knew Carlisle, always the voice of reason, would want to hear about it.

"Carlisle will be interested in that theory," I said as calmly as I could manage.

"Theory," she repeated, obviously still irritated with me.

I didn't know much about the process, nor had I ever been particularly interested, but the Black's theory did make me wonder how long the gene would take to manifest itself. Could it really be that things had been set in motion when my family arrived, but we didn't see the effects until much later? The one thing I still couldn't reconcile, however, is why they turned up at the precise moment we left. If we truly were the cause, wouldn't our leaving have stopped them from completing the transmutation? Or was it already too late by that point?

"Interesting, but not exactly relevant," I muttered, mostly to myself. Then, turning to Bella – who, as it turns out, was just as good at distracting me as I was at distracting her – I told her bluntly, "The situation remains the same."

Bella watched me for a moment, and I could almost feel the wheels in her head turning. She thought I was overreacting, and she was desperate to try to make me see reason. Slowly, she stood up and walked over to me, my arms immediately opening and beckoning her closer. I hated it when she and I didn't see eye to eye, and hated even more when we let it get us both worked up.

As she sat herself down in my lap and curled up into my embrace, I knew that both of us were tired of going around in circles. We didn't want to argue anymore, but were both still trying to make the other understand our line of thinking.

"Please just listen for a minute," she pleaded, looking up at me from under her lashes. "This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in _pain. _I can't _not _try to help him – I can't give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because he's not human all the time...Well, he was there for me when I was...not so human myself. You don't know what it was like..."

I felt every inch of my body tense. Bella so rarely spoke of those months I was absent. She knew what it did to me. However, she could never know the full extent of it. She didn't realize that every time she spoke the words, my mind flashed to all the images I'd seen through the eyes of others. Her teachers would recall the dead expression she'd worn for so many months. Her friends would remember the way she barely spoke. It was the one time I was grateful I couldn't hear Charlie as clear as the rest. I couldn't imagine what I would see if I was granted full access to his mind.

"If Jacob hadn't helped me..." she continued, "I'm not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better than this, Edward."

My eyes snapped shut as I tried to block out the images that were assaulting me. I shuddered to think of what I would see if I were to come face to face with Jacob. No doubt, he had seen her at her worst.

"I'll never forgive myself for leaving you," I said, my voice strained in anguish. "Not if I live a hundred thousand years."

In the midst of my misery, I was graciously given the gentle reprieve of Bella's touch. I didn't deserve it. Her fingers traced my cheek and I sighed into her warmth, my eyes opening and locking with her gaze.

"You were just trying to do the right thing," she said kindly. "And I'm sure it would have worked with anyone less mental than me. Besides, you're here now. That's the part that matters."

She'd said the words so often, yet I still couldn't believe them.

"If I'd never left, you wouldn't feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a _dog_."

She seemed taken aback for a moment, and I felt instantly guilty for having once again said something to offend her. I tried to soften my tone, but the severity of the situation would not allow it to come out as carefully as I wanted.

"I don't know how to phrase this properly. It's going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I've come too close to losing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am _not _going to tolerate anything dangerous."

"You have to trust me on this. I'll be fine."

_No!_ my mind was screaming at me. This wasn't about not trusting her. She didn't know what she was walking into. _I can't leave this up to chance. Please don't go where I can't follow. I can't know you're okay unless I'm with you._

"Please, Bella," I begged, unable to form the rest of the words, and trying to block out the voice telling me my pleading wouldn't do any good.

"Please what?" she asked, exasperated.

"Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I'll do everything I can, but I would appreciate a little help."

"I'll work on it," she muttered, and it pained me that she seemed to be ignoring my desperation. Didn't she understand by now she means _everything _to me?

"Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?" I pulled her close, as tightly as I could without hurting her, and rested my chin on her head, breathing her in like it was the last breath I would ever take. When she kissed my neck, the warmth radiated through my entire body, and it both soothed me and made me ache. I needed her – safe, forever...

"I know how much _I _love _you,_" she said softly, her breath washing over me and creating another cascade of warmth.

"You compare one small three to the entire forest."

"Impossible." Though her voice was still doubtful, I could feel her heart beat a little faster, and she seemed to nuzzle closer to me. I would never stop trying to convince her that she was my world.

With a quick kiss on her head, I repeated the words I knew wouldn't get us any closer to a solution.

"No werewolves."

"I'm not going along with that. I have to see Jacob."

"Then I'll have to stop you."

"We'll see about that. He's still my friend."

There we sat, at yet another impasse. My beautiful, stubborn girl – drawn to danger at every turn. Best friends with a werewolf, and in love with a vampire. Though I'd never condone it, or speak the words out loud, I was starting to wonder if maybe she was right. Immortality _was_ the only way to keep her safe.


	2. Evasion EPOV

A/N: Hi everyone. I had some fun with this one, spent a little quality time with the Cullens. Hope you all enjoy, and please keep the reviews coming. They make my bed rest time pass faster! :)

**Evasion – EPOV**

That evening, Bella was distracted. No, not just distracted – completely not herself. And it was making me nervous. Worried I'd been pushing her too far with all the college applications, I ran them back to my house before meeting her in her room. She seemed somewhat appeased that they didn't make another appearance, but there was something in her expression that still wasn't right. I noticed she kept fidgeting with something in her pocket, and I had to stop myself several times from asking what it was.

She was restless most of the night, and kept muttering "I'm trying," as her expression twisted and contorted. I traced my fingers up and down her arm, planting light kisses on her shoulder and neck until she calmed down. Eventually, her breathing slowed and she turned into me, her head resting on my chest as I hummed to her.

By morning, all the anxieties of the night appeared to have vanished. She smiled lazily up at me and I leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Good morning, my love," I whispered as she signed and pulled herself closer. It was hard to let her go, but I knew she needed her personal time in the mornings. I also knew it would only be an hour or so until I'd see her again, and that knowledge was often the only reason I could make myself leave.

I ran home to pick up the Volvo while Bella got ready for school. As soon as I entered, Alice was at my side with a disapproving look on her face.

"Why won't you let me buy her new clothes? You could give them to her. You know she'd be more likely to accept them coming from you."

"Hardly," I mumbled, rolling my eyes. Alice was never going to give up her quest to turn Bella into Small Town Style Barbie.

"I saw what she's planning on wearing today," she continued relentlessly.

"And she'll look as beautiful as she always does," I retorted, eliciting a pout from Alice. "Why does it matter so much to you anyway?"

"Is it a crime for me to want her to look nice? After all, she is going to be my sister someday. I'm just looking out for her."

"_Might_ be your sister," I corrected, which earned me another scowl.

"I refuse to argue with you about this," she said sternly. "One way or another, Bella is joining this family. Either by her transformation or by you two finally making it official, she's going to be my sister. All I have to do is wait to see which happens first."

"Right," I said sarcastically. "Like you have to _wait _to see anything."

"Hey, my vision isn't foolproof and you know it. Need I remind you that I didn't even see your proposal coming?"

"Neither did I," I muttered, somewhat embarrassed.

"Besides, Bella hasn't made up her mind yet. Until she does, I'm as blind as you. Now, hurry up or you'll be late. You don't want to keep Bella waiting."

I sighed as Alice flitted out the front door, letting my mind wander back to the night after the big vote, and to my quasi-proposal. Though I couldn't be sorry I'd said it, a part of me had been kicking myself ever since that night.

_"Marry me first."_

I inwardly cringed at my completely unplanned, _unromantic _moment of idiocy. A marriage proposal shouldn't be blurted out, and it certainly shouldn't be offered as contingency to vampire conversion. I was an absolute fool. She hadn't even taken me seriously. Then again, how could I blame her? There had been no warning, no prelude, no flowers or candles. There hadn't even been a ring.

Not that I didn't have a ring, but that was another matter altogether.

Although Bella and I hadn't spoken of it since that night, not a day went by that I didn't imagine new and much more proper ways of proposing to her again. I tried not to focus on the fact that she had basically refused me, deciding that under the circumstances, I shouldn't have expected any other response. Next time, though, I would make sure everything was perfect.

I felt a grin spread across my face, and laughed under my breath at my wandering thoughts. _When the time is right... _I reminded myself.

I knew Carlisle was home, and I wanted to talk with him about Jacob's theory on our being the cause of the werewolf...infestation...but I knew there wasn't time. Deciding it could wait until later, I hurried outside and drove off to pick up Bella. Out of respect for Charlie and his restrictions, she had been driving herself to school, and both of us were eager to resume our pattern from last year. She was waiting for me when I arrived, smiling from ear to ear as she ran to the Volvo. I took a quick peak around to make sure none of her neighbors were in sight, then flew around to the passenger door in time to open it for her. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, her smile growing impossibly larger before stepping inside.

We walked hand in hand until I dropped her off at her first class, and I was waiting for her outside of Spanish so we could walk to the cafeteria together. I loved the way her pulse raced every time my fingers laced with hers. The electricity between us seemed only to intensify with time.

We headed to our usual table, and though my attention was always primarily on Bella, I was momentarily distracted by the nervous energy I felt permeating the room. Nearly every mind around me was frantic, worrying about finals, wondering what they were going to wear to prom, running through lists of graduation details. It was deafening.

"Have you sent your announcements, yet?" Angela asked Bella the moment we sat down.

_I just know I'm the last one to get them out. Where did all the time go? How could I have let this happen? _ Her thoughts didn't stop racing, and I wondered how she would even hear Bella's answer.

"No. There's no point, really. Renee knows when I'm graduating. Who else is there?"

_With all that time she's saving not sending out invitations, you'd think she could let me take her shopping once. _I looked up to see Alice frowning at Bella, and I gave her a swift kick under the table. The last thing I wanted was for Bella to feel uncomfortable. She looked perfect to me.

"How about you, Alice?" Angela asked, stopping Alice's less than kind thoughts in their tracks.

"All done," she said triumphantly. I rolled my eyes. Had we really needed _another _gradation announcement mounted on the wall? Esme had smiled proudly, as always, insisting there was no harm in letting her have a little fun with what would otherwise be a very mundane event for us all.

"Lucky you," Angela murmured. "My mother has a thousand cousins and she expects me to hand-address one to everybody. I'm going to get carpal tunnel. I can't put it off any longer and I'm just dreading it."

"I'll help you," Bella said cheerfully. "If you don't mind my awful handwriting."

I smiled, happy to see Bella getting to spend time with her friends again. I knew part of her eagerness to help Angela was out of desire to abide by Charlie's wishes, spending more time outside the Cullen circle, but she'd also really missed Angela, and it was nice that they would get to have some time, just the two of them. Maybe I'd reach out to some of her friends as well, and try to earn back their trust. It would be a difficult task with so many of them still harboring resentment toward me, but they were important to Bella, and that made me want to try.

I glanced back over to Bella who was absolutely beaming as she made plans to go to Angela's house. She explained how Charlie had finally lifted her sentence, and Angela's eyes lit up.

"Well, this is great, Bella! We'll have to go out to celebrate."

"You have no idea how good that sounds."

"What should we do?" Alice asked innocently, while her mind raced through various options she considered appropriate levels of celebration.

_Surely if I took her shopping in Paris, she'd have to let me buy her something, right? I mean, it would be absurd to travel all that way and come back empty handed. Oh! Maybe Rome. It really __was a shame she didn't get to enjoy Italy. Don't you think we should help her get some real use out of that passport?_

I was about to give Alice another not so subtle kick, but Bella had already seen the look in her eyes.

"Whatever you're thinking, Alice, I doubt I'm _that _free."

"Free is free, right?"

"I'm sure I still have boundaries – like the continental U.S., for example."

Though Angela and Ben both started laughing, Alice looked absolutely crestfallen, and I had to stifle my own laughter. Even without the benefits of mind reading, Bella knew Alice almost as well as I did.

"So what are we doing tonight?" Alice asked, defeated.

"Nothing," Bella insisted. "Look, let's give it a couple of days to make sure he wasn't joking. It's a school night, anyway."

"We'll celebrate this weekend, then."

"Sure," Bella answered somewhat wearily. Alice's smile reappeared as her mind launched into another series of outrageous things Bella would never agree to. At least she was keeping her plans within the country this time.

The conversation shifted quickly into a lighthearted discussion of where they were going to drag Bella off to. It didn't escape my notice that Bella's earlier enthusiasm was slowly dissipating, and I took her hand in mine, silently assuring her she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to. Her expression was distant, and I was starting to worry that there might be more to it than her usual aversion to attention and people doing things for her. I was watching her carefully, and was about to see if she wanted to leave, when Alice abruptly stopped talking.

_Edward..._

My eyes shot up to hers and I listened, unmoving, while the vision played itself out. At first, it was hard to tell exactly what she was seeing, but slowly the pictures became clearer. There was a flash of red, like fire blazing its way through Forks. Then, the fire slowed and I could see a face I recognized all too well.

Victoria.

Her villainous smile and ire filled eyes consumed my every thought as I forced myself not to tighten my grip on Bella's hand. Of course she would see Alice's expression and know she was seeing something, but I couldn't let her know it was anything to worry about. My family and I could handle one enraged vampire, and I would not allow Bella to waste one more moment of her life frightened.

"Alice? Alice!" Angela said loudly, waving her hand and trying to get Alice's attention.

I laughed to distract Angela , then kicked Alice sharply, reminding her we were in public.

"Is it naptime already, Alice?" I said, forcing her to lock gazes with me. Her eyes widened and she let her posture shift back into its relaxed position.

"Sorry, I was daydreaming, I guess."

"Daydreaming's better than facing two more hours of school," Ben added, and almost instantly, we were engaged once more in casual conversation. The difference now, was that Alice, Bella, and I were all pretending.

As hard as I was trying not to give Bella any reason to worry, I could hear that her heart wasn't settling back into its regular rhythm, and felt how tense her body was next to mine. Alice was keeping up the facade well, but I was sure Bella noticed the intensity of her gaze when she locked eyes with mine.

_Get Bella away from Forks for awhile. We'll handle this._

I gave her the tiniest of nods while I ran my fingers through Bella's hair. I wasn't sure which one of us I was trying to comfort with the gesture.

I stayed closer than usual to Bella's friends for the rest of the day, unwilling to give her the chance to ask what was wrong. I had every intention of listening to Alice's advice and getting Bella as far away from Forks as possible. I just needed to think of somewhere she wouldn't refuse. Where could I offer to take her that she wouldn't instantly recognize as an excuse to get her out of town? We could go up to Alaska to check out the college that would be serving as her alibi, though that thought only made me more miserable and worried. Better yet, I could take her to see Dartmouth, and try to entice her with the beautiful architecture.

My mind still racing with possibilities, I eventually noticed Bella eying me suspiciously as we walked toward the parking lot at the end of the day. I quickly forced myself into a conversation with Mike Newton to delay the inevitable a little while longer. His car was only starting about half the time, and he was worried eventually he would end up stranded somewhere.

"Maybe you need a new battery," I suggested, infusing my voice with as much sincerity as I could muster, considering who I was talking to.

_Yeah, genius, like I never thought to check the battery. Why is he even bothering, anyway?_

Mike's biting internal sarcasm didn't make it any easier to keep the smile on my face.

"Yes, I thought of that," he said, obviously struggling as much as I was to keep the conversation polite. "But I just replaced the battery."

"Perhaps it's the cables?"

"Maybe. I really don't know anything about cars. I need to have someone look at it, but I can't afford to take it to Dowling's."

I suddenly felt Bella's hand squeeze mine tightly, and her body stiffened. I glanced at her, but she already seemed to be calming herself down from whatever had upset her.

"I know a few things," I said, bringing my focus back to Mike. "I could take a look, if you like. Just let me drop Alice and Bella at home."

_Seriously? _he thought, gaping at me. _Don't want him at my house, don't want to be having this conversation..._

"Er...thanks," he stuttered, and I nearly rolled my eyes at how stubborn her was being. "But I have to get to work. Maybe some other time." _Like never. _

"Absolutely." Then I smiled widely at him, trying not to take too much pleasure in the baffled look on his face.

"See ya," he muttered as he got into his car. _It was so much easier when we both just hated each other. Does this mean I have to start being nice to Cullen?_

I laughed under my breath and politely listened to make sure his car started up, then went to open the passenger door for Bella.

"What was _that_ about?" she asked.

"Just being helpful."

Then I glanced meaningfully back at Alice, with a look that said, "now it's _your_ turn to be helpful." She immediately starting babbling about everything and nothing, as Bella let out a sigh. She knew this trick.

When we reached my driveway, Alice paused her chattering long enough to let me see one more flash of her earlier vision. Victoria was perched outside Bella's window, and it was everything I could do to maintain my relaxed posture.

_Bella already has plane tickets, remember? All you have to do is convince her to use them. _

"See you later," I said casually, then nodded to her in understanding. How had I forgotten about the tickets to Jacksonville? I guess I was instinctively trying to forget everything about her horrible birthday that had led to the worst mistake of my long life.

Though I knew curiosity was getting to her, Bella remained silent the whole way back to her house. Every once in awhile, I caught her glancing at me from the corner of her eye, but I kept my gaze fixed forward, a soft smile on my face.

"Light homework load tonight," I said as we pulled into the driveway.

"Mmm."

"Do you suppose I'm allowed inside again?" I asked. Not that it ever really stopped me. Still, it was nice not to have to hide from Charlie.

"Charlie didn't throw a fit when you picked me up for school," she said simply, though there was an edge to her voice.

I followed her upstairs, holding my breath and waiting for the question I knew was coming. I was surprised when she walked almost immediately to her computer, flicking it on as I laid down on the bed. I glanced toward her nightstand, wondering if I would find the tickets collecting dust in her drawer. Bella seemed sufficiently distracted, so I quickly opened the drawer and shuffled through a thin stack of papers, only to find them at the bottom of the pile, just as I'd suspected.

Tickets tucked safely away in my pocket, my mind wandered as I listened to the sound of the computer warming up. Getting her to agree to a trip to Florida didn't seem like too difficult an undertaking. It was obvious she missed her mother. She had been talking about her in her sleep a lot lately, and I was sure a visit would do both of them a lot of good. And Bella and I being on the other side of the country would keep me sane.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Bella's fingers drumming nervously on her desk. I stared at her worried expression, and the next instant, I was beside her, locking my fingers with hers.

"Are we a little impatient today?" I asked, reveling in the warmth she was radiating. Suddenly, I needed to be closer.

Her heartbeat picked up slightly as I gazed into her eyes, my intent becoming clear when I leaned in and took in a deep breath of her scent. It was amazing the way all my fears seemed to disappear the moment our lips touched. Everything else vanished and there was only us.

Although I was no longer consciously thinking about the danger that was on the way, my concern for Bella's safety was still eliciting strange responses within me. Instead of pulling away like I normally would, everything in my body was telling me to bring her closer. Without thinking, my fingers were lacing into her hair and I was pressing her face tightly to mine.

I hadn't grown immune to the burn that always rose in my throat when we were this close, but I'd learned not to let fear of it take over. I knew I was in control, and the soft hum Bella was unconsciously making was telling me she didn't want me to let go. Caught up in the moment, I was all too willing to comply, and I allowed myself to sink into her. I let my hand trace down her spine, and as I held her closer, I felt her start to shiver. With a reluctant sigh and one final deep breath of her perfection, I started to back away, but she pulled herself flush against me.

I knew she always wished she was stronger, but in those instances when I felt her desperation to stay connected with me, I felt like I was the weak one. I wanted to give her everything, no matter what my rational thoughts were telling me. When her soft, warm tongue touched my bottom lip, the wave of desire I had been trying to bury came crashing in on me like a tidal wave. Her scent I'd learned to handle, but when she let me taste her like that...

My actions finally caught up with my hazy mind, and I gently moved her face away from mine. Her breathing was ragged as we stared at each other, and I let out one soft laugh as I saw the reflection of my eyes in her own. For one brief moment, we matched – two fiery eyed people in love, seeking more than was probably wise.

"Ah, Bella," I breathed, wishing that I _could_ give her more.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not," she admitted, blushing.

"And I should feel sorry that you're not sorry, but I don't. Maybe I should go sit on the bed."

"If you think that's necessary..."

I smirked as I pulled myself unwillingly away from her. Necessary? Perhaps. Smart? Most definitely.

"Tell Renee I said hello," I said as she opened up her mother's email.

"Sure thing."

I'm sure it was impolite, but I couldn't help reading over her shoulder when my eyes drifted for a second onto the screen and I saw Jacob's name. Renee was asking why Bella hadn't mentioned him in awhile. I bit back the smile that immediately formed upon reading Bella's reply that she didn't see him much, because he was spending time with "a pack of this friends." _Cute, Bella..._

As she composed the rest of her reply, my eyes wandered around her room, and eventually landed on a mess pouring out from her closet. I recognized the stereo my family had given her last year, and was concerned that not only was it _not _in her truck where it belonged, but it also appeared to have been quite thoroughly trampled.

"What did you _do _to this?" I gasped.

"It didn't want to come out of the dashboard."

"So you felt the need to torture it?"

"You know how I am with tools. No pain was inflicted intentionally." Though she was being casual, something about her words pained me. Why had she been so desperate to get it out? Had the sight of it really been too much for her to take?

"You killed it," I sighed, a sharp wave of guilt crashing in on me as I tried to compose myself.

"Oh, well," she said indifferently.

"It would hurt their feelings if they saw this. I guess it's a good thing that you've been on house arrest. I'll have to get another one in place before they notice." Of course I was sure Alice already knew about the stereo massacre. I wondered why she hadn't said anything about it.

"Thanks, but I don't need a fancy stereo," Bella argued.

"It's not for your sake that I'm going to replace it."

Thinking about the lengths she'd gone through to get it out of her car, I knew she must be as eager to forget everything related to her birthday as I was. I would have to make sure to get a different model to replace it, one that looked nothing like the one that lay in a heap on her floor.

"You didn't get much good out of your birthday presents last year," I said, trying to sound nonchalant. I was suddenly nervous that she would refuse the tickets, simply because of where they'd come from. Her heart jumped when she saw me casually waving the tickets, and I held my breath waiting for her response. She looked like she'd been punched in the gut, and for a moment, the whole plan felt ridiculous. Why didn't I just buy new tickets to Alaska?

"Do you realize these are about to expire?" I asked, still attempting to keep my voice light. Maybe she would agree to use them if I told her how happy it would make my family. They had been a gift, after all.

"No," she replied, staring at the tickets with a worried expression. "I'd forgotten all about them, actually."

Having forgotten them is better than having destroyed them like the stereo. I took that as a good sign.

"Well, we still have a little time. You've been liberated...and we have no plans this weekend, as you refuse to go to the prom with me." I smiled at the look of horror that crossed her face at the mere mention of the word _prom_. It really was a miracle I'd managed to get her to there last year. And not just get her there, but get her dancing and having a halfway decent time.

She still wasn't responding to my offer, so I added, "Why not celebrate your freedom this way?"

"By going to Florida?"

"You did say something about the continental U.S. being allowable."

I didn't fully understand her expression. It was like she was being pulled in two different directions. I knew a part of her wanted to see her mother, but it seemed as if she was fighting against herself, unwilling to give in to my request. She hadn't asked about Alice's vision yet, but I was sure it was too much to hope she had forgotten about it. Maybe she knew this was a diversion and she was just being stubborn.

"Well?" I finally asked, growing somewhat frustrated. I didn't want to force her into anything, but one way or another, we were leaving Forks this weekend. "Are we going to see Renee or not?"

"Charlie will never allow it."

"Charlie can't keep you from visiting your mother. She still has primary custody."

"Nobody has custody of me. I'm an adult."

_A very good point, Bella_, I thought wryly. "Exactly."

Bella's eyes lit up momentarily, and I thought I might have convinced her. All thoughts of Victoria aside, I had to admit I was a little anxious myself to see Renee again. The first and only time we'd met had been in the hospital in Phoenix, and needless to say, I was not her favorite person. Still, while she was obviously – and rightfully – upset with me for my part in Bella's accident, she had listened while I'd explained exactly how important Bella was to me, and had allowed me to stay in Bella's room without argument. Something told me Renee was a very perceptive person, and she sensed the depths of my devotion to her daughter. I was looking forward to cementing that idea in her mind, this time under far better circumstances.

I let myself grow excited and hopeful that Bella would agree to the trip as I stared deeply into her eyes. Then, the flash of enthusiasm I'd seen on her face only moments before disappeared, and I could almost hear her voice of reason kicking back in.

"No this weekend," she sighed, clearly disappointed.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to fight with Charlie. Not so soon after he's forgiven me."

If it was Charlie she was worried about, I felt certain I could take care of that problem. He wouldn't have a problem with Bella visiting Renee, and if he objected to my going with her, I would remind him that the tickets were a gift from Carlisle and Esme. They were given with the intention that she and I would go together.

"I think this weekend is perfect," I said calmly, ready to argue my point until she conceded. There was no reason for her to put it off.

"Another time," she insisted.

With a deep breath, I prepared myself to shamelessly use a very unfair tactic, one that I would never use unless I was truly desperate. Guilt.

"You aren't the only one who's been trapped in this house, you know."

She stared at me like she didn't believe the words coming out of my mouth – which meant she was right on track, because they weren't true. I hadn't felt trapped at all. I loved spending time with Bella and it didn't really matter to me where we were. Yes, it would have been nice to take her out on a proper date now and then, but as long as she was content with us sitting on her bed, talking, and holding each other, I would never for one second complain.

"You can go anywhere you want," she finally said, sounding somewhat apologetic. Then I was the one feeling guilty.

"The outside world holds no interest for me without you," I assured her, not wanting her to feel like she'd been keeping me prisoner. She rolled her eyes in disbelief. "I'm serious," I promised.

If we were confined to her four walls for the rest of time, I wouldn't care because we'd be together, and I instantly wished I'd never implied that I felt any differently.

"Let's take the outside world slowly, all right?" she asked, her posture relaxing slightly. "For example, we could start with a movie in Port Angeles..."

_Not far enough... _I thought desperately.

"Never mind. We'll talk about it later," I said, trying not to sound defeated. I didn't want to bring it up with Charlie without her consent, but if I had to...

"There's nothing left to talk about," she said flatly. When I simply shrugged, her expression shifted. "Okay, then, new subject." She now sounded determined, and the air of curiosity was back on her face. "What did Alice see today at lunch?"

I fought the look of terror that was threatening to reveal how worried I really was. I'd known from the moment I saw Victoria flash through Alice's mind, that if Bella came right out and asked, I would hide the truth from her. I hated myself for even thinking about lying, but there was no other choice. The only consolation I could offer myself, was knowing that as soon as the danger had passed, I would confess the truth to her. She would be angry, I was certain of that, but anger was better than fear. I refused to put Bella through any more trauma because of the realities of my world.

"She's been seeing Jasper in a strange place, somewhere in the southwest, she thinks, near his former...family. But he has no conscious intentions to go back. It's got her worried."

I held firmly to my resolve, trying to remind myself of the necessity of the lie. When Bella breathed a very relieved, "Oh," I knew I'd made the right choice.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I didn't realize you'd noticed," I lied again, inwardly cringing. "It's probably nothing important, in any case."

Significantly more relaxed, Bella smiled and suggested we head downstairs to keep up appearances. We worked on homework while we waited for Charlie to come home, stopping to prepare dinner when Bella's calculus assignment got the better of her.

"Why is everything so easy for you?" she muttered as she threw her pencil down.

"Repeat high school a few dozen times and you'll understand," I said with a sigh. Unexpectedly, it made Bella grin.

"Planning on it," she said cheerfully, and I silenced the growl I could feel building inside me.

Although I hated all the disgusting food smells, I offered to help Bella with dinner simply to be closer to her. She laughed at me as I wrinkled my nose, pushing ingredients quickly away from me and into the pot on the stove. The atmosphere was light and comfortable, and when Charlie arrived, even he seemed to be in high spirits.

As usual, I let Bella and Charlie eat dinner together, retreating to the living room to supposedly watch the news. At times, I could tell it struck Charlie as odd that I never ate with them, but he appreciated the time alone with Bella so much, he never said anything about it.

I listened with a smile on my face as he complimented her cooking, and they talked about his day at work. He told her he had talked to Billy, but there was no mention of Jacob so I allowed myself to relax. That is, until he informed her that they'd both been invited to La Push for the weekend.

"Huh," Bella muttered noncommittally.

The logical side of my brain knew it wasn't the right moment. I told myself to wait until the tension in the room had lifted, but as Charlie got up and headed toward the living room for his nightly routine of falling asleep in front of the TV, I couldn't seem to stop myself.

"Charlie," I said casually.

"Yeah?"

"Did Bella ever tell you that my parents gave her airplane tickets on her last birthday, so that she could visit Renee?"

I heard Bella's heart start racing and she dropped the plate she'd been washing. It crashed to the floor, but Charlie didn't even blink.

"Bella?" he asked, his eyes still glaring wildly at me.

"Yeah, they did," she mumbled, her face turning red as Charlie turned to her in disbelief.

"No, she never mentioned it," he said through gritted teeth, turning back toward me.

"Hmm."

"Was there a reason you brought it up?" he asked icily.

"They're about to expire. I think it might hurt Esme's feelings if Bella doesn't use her gift. Not that she'd say anything."

Then it was Bella's turn to glare at me, her hand gripping the soapy sponge, frozen on the plate. I could feel both of us holding our breath while Charlie deliberated.

"It's probably a good idea for you to visit your mom, Bella," he finally said. "She'd love that. I'm surprised you didn't say anything about this, though."

"I forgot."

His thoughts turned skeptical as he tried to sort out what we were keeping from him.

"You forgot that someone gave you plane tickets?"

"Mmm."

Charlie's eyes turned back on me as the pieces started coming together.

"I noticed that you said _they're_ about to expire, Edward. How many tickets did your parents give her?"

"Just one for her...and one for me."

At that, his face turned red, his eyes widened, and Bella dropped another plate. She didn't turn to look at me, but I could hear how ragged her breathing was.

"That's out of the question!" Charlie screamed, and I struggled to keep my voice even. I knew how much it would upset Bella to have to listen to Charlie and I fight.

"Why? You just said it was a good idea for her to see her mother."

He turned back toward Bella and suddenly, he was yelling her, though she hadn't said a word.

"You're not going anywhere with him, young lady!"

This was exactly what she'd been afraid of, and I felt terrible for having caused it. It had hurt her so much, having Charlie upset with her. They'd finally come to some sort of almost truce, and I'd fueled the fire again the very next day. I expected to see tears when Bella turned around, but instead I saw fury, and I was as taken aback as Charlie.

"I'm not a child, Dad. And I'm not grounded anymore, remember?" she spat.

"Oh yes, you are. Starting now."

"For what?!" she shrieked.

"Because I said so."

And because I knew Bella, I knew that was the moment Charlie had lost the argument. As angry as Bella might be with me for having brought it up, it was nothing compared to the fire I saw in her eyes at that statement.

"Do I need to remind you that I'm a legal adult, Charlie?"

He flinched slightly at the sound of Bella calling him by his first name. She was usually careful to only do that when he wasn't around.

"This is my house – you follow my rules!" he screamed, only digging the hole deeper.

"If that's how you want it. Do you want me to move out tonight? Or can I have a few days to pack?"

At the look on Charlie's face, I could see Bella turn instantly remorseful. She didn't want to hurt him, and she certainly didn't want to move out. It was desperation on both they parts, a father trying to protect his little girl, and the little girl fighting to be accepted as an adult. Eventually, they would find a balance, but not tonight.

"I'll do my time without complaining when I've done something wrong, Dad, but I'm not going to put up with your prejudices," she said evenly.

Charlie muttered something unintelligible, and I could sense Bella starting to relax. She still wasn't looking at me, and I wondered how much of her dissipated anger would later be coming my way.

"Now, I know that _you_ know that I have every right to see Mom for the weekend. You can't honestly tell me you'd object to the plan if I was going with Alice or Angela."

"Girls," he muttered.

"Would it bother you if I took Jacob?"

I bit back my own rage at her words, although I figured she was only trying to make a point. Charlie had made it very clear that rules I had to abide by would be waived for Jacob. Still, I could feel my teeth grinding together and my hands unconsciously clenching into fists while I waited for his answer.

"Yes. That would bother me," Charlie answered, though it sounded like he didn't even believe himself.

"You're a rotten liar, Dad."

"Bella – "

"It's not like I'm headed off to Vegas to be a showgirl or anything. I'm going to see _Mom. _She's just as much my parental authority as you are." He nearly scoffed at her, and her anger started to show again. "Are you implying something about Mom's ability to look after me?"

At the same moment Charlie flinched, I could feel his thoughts start to give up the fight. He knew there was nothing he could do to stop her from going, and he was suddenly feeling nervous that she wouldn't come back if he didn't reign his temper in.

"You'd better hope I don't mention this to her," she said coldly.

"You'd better not. I'm not happy about this, Bella."

"There's no reason for you to be upset."

They both seemed to sigh at the same moment, and I was suddenly struck by how much they looked alike. The resemblance wasn't normally noticeable at all, but something about their mutual acquiesce made them appear more like father and daughter than I'd ever seen.

"So my homework is done, your dinner is done,the dishes are done, and I'm not grounded," she said definitively. "I'm going out. I'll be back before ten-thirty."

"Where are you going?" he asked, though I could tell he was only half expecting an answer.

"I'm not sure. I'll keep it within a ten-mile radius, though. Okay?"

Charlie mumbled something as Bella finally turned to meet my stare.

"We're going out?" I asked, hopeful but nervous as she glared at me.

"Yes. I think I'd like to speak to you _alone_."

She turned around quickly, storming out the front door with me trailing miserably behind her. As soon as we were in the car, I braced myself for the explosion.

"What was _that_?" she yelled. Instinctively, I used the only defense I felt would matter to her at all – my concern for her. Though I couldn't tell her all the reasons, it was, in essence, what had started the whole fiasco.

"I know you want to see your mother, Bella – you've been talking about her in your sleep. Worrying actually."

"I have?" she asked, her voice instantly softer.

"But, clearly, you were too much of a coward to deal with Charlie, so I interceded on your behalf." I was trying to keep it light, while still letting her know I was only looking out for her best interests. It didn't seem to be the right approach.

"Interceded?" she repeated, angry again. "You threw me to the sharks!"

"I don't think you were in any danger," I muttered sarcastically.

"I told you I didn't want to fight with Charlie."

"Nobody said that you had to." I'd actually been rather surprised, having expected Charlie to do most of the lecturing. Yet somehow, the tables had turned, and Bella had held her own far better than I'd expected.

"I can't help myself when he gets all bossy like that – my natural teenage instincts overpower me," she said defensively.

"Well, that's not my fault," I laughed.

We sat in silence for a few moments while I replayed the evening in my mind. She'd stood up for herself, and while she claimed it was just instinct taking over, I believed it was more than that. All throughout Charlie's severe restrictions, Bella had been more compliant than I ever would have imagined. She didn't complain or make Charlie feel guilty, probably because she felt her punishment had been justified. She hated how worried she'd made him those days she was off saving me in Italy, and whatever she needed to do to appease him and repair the damage that had been done, she was more than willing. It was a selfless gesture, and I admired her for it.

But this time, she knew she'd done nothing wrong. There was nothing wrong with my wanting to visit Renee with her, and that knowledge had made her fight for what she knew she deserved. Although I'd hated to see them fight that way, in a way, I was completely flattered. Bella had been angry with me for bringing the tickets up without her permission, but in the heat of the moment, she'd still stood up for me and our right to be together.

We'd been quiet for such a long stretch of time, Bella's words jarred me back into consciousness.

"Does this sudden urge to see Florida have anything to do with the party at Billy's place?"

My body tensed. I'd been so relieved that Bella would be nowhere near Forks when Victoria arrived, I'd forgotten all about that.

"Nothing at all," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. "It wouldn't matter if you were here or on the other side of the world, you still wouldn't be going."

I could see her fists clench and it was clear she wanted to say something, but miraculously, she chose to keep it to herself. I was just happy to avoid another argument involving the dogs.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" I asked, anxious to get her mind on other things.

"Can we go to your house? I haven't seen Esme in so long."

"She'll like that," I said, smiling warmly. "Especially when she hears what we're doing this weekend."

Bella let out a long sigh, and we drove the rest of the way in silence. I was a little nervous about her current mood when we approached the house, and wondered if the whole evening was beyond repair.

"Bella!" Alice cried, throwing her arms around her the second we were inside. I let out a sigh of relief when Bella immediately relaxed. It seemed her frustrations with me were no match for the welcoming arms of my family.

"How does it feel to be out in the real world again?"

"Since when is the vampire house considered part of the real world?" she teased. "I still feel like I'm in a fairytale every time I come over."

I rolled my eyes at her use of the word "fairytale." Somehow, after everything she'd been through because of me, she still regarded us as creatures of magic and fantasy, rather than the monsters we were.

"Who all is home?" I asked, looking pointedly at Alice.

"Carlisle and Esme are upstairs," she said cheerfully. _And the others are making a quick __circuit around town for any signs of Victoria. She shouldn't be here for a couple of days, but we're taking every precaution._

"Great," I said, taking Bella's hand in mine. "Now, should we go share the news?"

"News?" Alice asked innocently.

"Oh right, Alice," Bella teased. "Like you didn't already know we're going to Florida this weekend. I suppose it shouldn't have surprised me that Edward had so much confidence tonight, you probably already told him it was a sure thing."

"I don't know anything until you decide it," she said solemnly, but when Bella quirked an eyebrow at her, she started giggling. "I did know how much you've been thinking about your Mom lately, though, so I figured the chances were pretty good."

Bella rolled her eyes as Carlisle and Esme came down the stairs.

"Bella, welcome," Carlisle said, smiling at her warmly.

"It's lovely to see you again," Esme added, reaching out to give her a hug.

"It's really nice to be back. I've missed you all so much."

"Well, you're welcome any time," Carlisle said, then glanced at me for a fraction of a second.

_When are you two leaving? _

I immediately turned to Esme, grinning widely.

"Esme, I thought you'd be pleased to hear Bella and I are finally making use of those plane tickets from last year."

"Oh that's wonderful. Is your mother excited, dear?"

"Well, actually I haven't even gotten the chance to tell her. It was kind of a spontaneous decision."

"We're leaving on Friday," I added, and Carlisle nodded approvingly.

_From what Alice saw, that should be plenty of time. Does Bella know what's happening?_

I shook my head in the tiniest of gestures and he seemed relieved. While my family had always believed in being honest with Bella about the dangers around her, I felt that in this instance, they all agreed it was unnecessary to worry her. It would all be taken care of soon enough. Victoria wasn't going to send us on the elaborate hunt that James had.

"Bella," Alice said, motioning toward the kitchen. "Would you like something to eat? Even though you haven't been around lately, we've kept things fully stocked."

"No thank you. I just ate dinner with Charlie."

"Dessert, maybe?"

I glanced at Alice's carefully fixed smile and saw she was trying to allow Carlisle and I a chance to talk without Bella around.

"She won't give up," I whispered to Bella. "You might as well take a few bites of something and get it over with."

Bella sighed and I gave her a quick kiss before following Alice to the kitchen. Esme joined them a few moments later, and I realized how much she had truly missed Bella. As soon as they were out of sight, I faced Carlisle.

"Are you guys going to be able to take care of this by the time we get back Sunday night?"

"I don't see why not. Alice saw her going directly to Bella's house. She's acting much more straightforward than James was, and she's completely alone. Don't worry. Just keep Bella distracted, and maybe try to have a little fun yourself."

"Thanks."

"Now, Alice mentioned earlier there was something Bella said that confused you. Was it something you wanted to talk about?"

"Oh," I said, having forgotten about it with our new concerns. "It's nothing really, just a mildly irritating notion the wolves seem to have."

"And what is that?"

"Apparently, they think we're the cause of their reappearance."

"Do they really?" he asked, sounding more amused than I might have expected. "Well, I'll admit it crossed my mind, though the timing makes it seem unlikely. They didn't show up until after we left."

"That's what I thought. Is it possible, though, that the change started when we arrived, and it simply took that long for it to complete itself?"

"I suppose anything is possible. I don't know much about their kind. Fascinating species, though."

I rolled my eyes. It was just like Carlisle to see everything, even the most despicable, volatile of creatures, as an interesting new learning experience.

"No, Alice, I promise it was delicious. I'm full, that's all."

Bella was walking back toward me, Alice in full pout behind her.

"She barely ate two bites," she sulked.

"Well maybe next time I'll have to bring her over before dinner, and you can play chef properly."

Alice grinned, her spirits brightened, and led Bella and the rest of us into the living room. A few minutes later, the rest of the family came home. Emmett and Rosalie said perfunctory hello's, then retreated upstairs. I might have been more irritated at Rose, but she was obeying my wishes. _If you can't be nice, don't be here._

Alice and I played chess while Jasper and Bella talked. Admittedly, it still made me nervous having them in such close proximity, but Jasper's guilt over the incident last year had made him so overly cautious, it was nearly impossible to doubt his total control around her. He cared about her too, and he'd spent so long feeling terrible about what had happened, I figured it was good for them to finally get to talk.

Within minutes, Alice and my game was over. There simply wasn't any point in playing it out once we both saw where it was going. Sighing, she surrendered her king, then pushed the board toward Jasper and Bella.

"You two should play. At least Jasper won't be able to hear every move you're planning before you make it," she said indignantly.

After their game was over, we spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing, catching Bella up on what she'd missed. Alice convinced me to play the piano for awhile, and as Bella sat beside me, looking up at me lovingly, the rest of my family disappeared. When we realized they were gone, we both laughed, remembering the first time they had not so subtly left us alone in this very spot.

"They've missed you," I said softly, reaching up to run my fingers through her hair. "_I_ missed you."

"You see me every day," she whispered, her breath catching slightly as I leaned in to give her a soft kiss.

"But not here. Not in my home, where I can really be myself. You don't know how wonderful it is for me to have you here. It makes the house complete."

She blushed, looking down at her lap, and I kissed her forehead. I took a deep breath and let my eyes shut, marveling at how perfect and content the moment was. It seemed impossible after all that had happened over the past few hours, yet here we were, just as I wanted to be.

"I don't want to go," she said, peeking up from under her lashes.

"But?"

"But Charlie and I have fought enough for one night, and I want to be back well before my curfew so he doesn't think I'm pushing him simply to be defiant."

"I understand," I said, wrapping my arm around her shoulder as we stood up.

A few minutes later, we were back at her house. The lights were on, and I could hear Charlie's mind wandering nervously. Of course I couldn't hear the exact words, but after a few moments, I started to understand the context. With a smirk, I turned to Bella.

"You'd better not come inside," she said sadly. "It will only make things worse."

"His thoughts are relatively calm," I said, trying to stifle my laughter.

"I'll see you later."

A low chuckle escaped me, and I kissed the top of her head. "I'll be back when Charlie's snoring."

I watched her walk dismally to the door, probably awaiting another bout of Charlie's anger. When she found out what was really on his mind, however, I had a feeling she might find herself wishing for his anger instead.

It took everything in me to drive away, but given the nature of their discussion, eavesdropping would have been beyond my normal level of intrusion. It was going to be embarrassing enough without her finding out later that I'd listened in.

I thought about going home again, but decided my time would be better spent checking things out around town. None of my family had found any signs of Victoria, but I knew I'd feel better after I'd checked it out myself. I'd made almost a full loop when I felt my cell phone go off.

"I know you're having fun looking for vampire tracks, and I hate to interrupt," Alice said, trying a little too hard to sound casual. "But I need you to go check on Bella."

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked frantically, already running in her direction.

"Nothing, I don't think. At least not yet. I figured with everything going on, you'd want me keeping a close eye on her. Everything was fine until a moment ago, then I suddenly went blind. You know what that means," she said heavily.

I suppressed a low growl as my feet instinctively ran faster.

"Filthy wolves," I muttered.

"Yes, they are that," Alice agreed. If anyone was more infuriated by the wolves, it was Alice. Nothing frustrated her more than not being able to use her ability.

"Is she still at the house?"

"I think so. I didn't see her leave, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Once she made the choice to leave, everything disappeared. She could be down there right now for all I know."

"Hold on, I'm almost to the house," I said anxiously. A few seconds later, I saw her truck and felt relief rush over me. "She's still here," I breathed. "Thanks, Alice."

"No problem. And by the way, let Bella know her choices effect me too. It was really unsettling, seeing her simply disappear like that."

"I'll let her know. Talk to you tomorrow."

The phone went silent as I reached the driveway. Without another thought, I opened the hood of her truck and removed the first vital item I saw. I shut it quietly then waited for Bella to come out. Sure enough, a few minutes later, Bella was flying out the front door. Looking somewhat guilty, she seemed to be checking over her shoulder every few steps, and when she finally stumbled into the car, she breathed a sigh of relief. It broke my heart to think of her purposely ignoring my warnings when my only concern was for her safety. It hurt even more to think of how angry she would be with me in a few moments.

She made two attempts to start the engine before I made even the slightest movement.

"Gah!" she gasped, finally noticing me in the seat beside her. If I hadn't been so focused on the situation at hand, it might have bothered me more that she hadn't noticed me right away. She always seemed so aware of my presence.

"Alice called," I explained, and in the darkness, I could see recognition flash in her eyes. "She got nervous when your future rather abruptly disappeared five minutes ago."

At this, her startled expression turned to one of absolute horror.

"Because she can't see the wolves, you know," I clarified. "Had you forgotten that? When you decide to mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear, too. You couldn't know that part, I realize that. But can you understand why that might make me a little...anxious? Alice saw you disappear, and she couldn't even tell if you'd come home or not. Your future got lost, just like theirs."

I understood that this must be confusing to Bella, and I wished I could explain exactly why it happens, but it was a mystery to all of us.

"We're not sure why this is. Some natural defense they're born with?" It had been my first inclination, but I'd eventually written it off as just another theory. "That doesn't seem entirely likely, since I haven't had any trouble reading their thoughts. The Blacks' at least. Carlisle theorizes that it's because their lives are so rules by their transformations. It's more an involuntary reaction than a decision. Utterly unpredictable, and it changes everything about them. In the instant when they shift from one form to the other, they don't really even exist. The future can't hold them..."

I wondered if Bella was even still listening to me. I'd gotten so lost in my own thoughts. As much as I hated to admit it, maybe Carlisle wasn't the only one with some sort of sick fascination with the wolves.

Obviously, Bella was angry with me, and in many ways, I couldn't blame her. She didn't believe the wolves were a threat, and thought I was being overprotective. She'd already proven earlier with Charlie, that she hated when people treated her like a child, and I realized she would probably see what I was doing as falling into that same category. It didn't matter, though. I would accept her rage if it kept her safe.

"I'll put your car back together in time for school, in case you'd like to drive yourself," I assured her, hoping perhaps futilely, that she would forgive me as quickly as she'd seemed to forgive Charlie. She climbed out of the truck without a word, eyes cold and staring straight ahead.

"Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I'll understand," I said softly, feeling somewhat defeated as she shut the door.

The second she was out of sight, I raced around the side of her house and peered up at her window. Not even a minute later, Bella appeared, and with one swift motion, slammed it shut. My heart sank, though I'd expected nothing less. I was debating staying outside her room anyway, reminiscent of the days when I'd watched her from afar. I would respect her wishes and not go inside, but the thought of spending the night away from her was nearly unbearable.

I stared longingly up at her room, wishing there was a way to keep her safe that wouldn't make her shut me out. Then, I saw her return, and I once again wished I could read her mind. Her expression was a mixture of frustration and hurt, but despite whatever she was feeling, she took the final step toward the window and opened it widely.

Excitement bubbled up inside, and I fought to remind myself she probably still needed time to herself. I didn't doubt for a moment that she was still upset with me, and I didn't want to push her too far too soon. I tried to convince myself it was better that I wait.

I almost made it to the count of ten before climbing up and pulling her into my arms.


	3. Motives EPOV

A/N: Hi again, and thanks for all the reviews. Keep them coming, I love hearing from you guys! Lots of filling in missing action in this one. What can I say, I'm a sucker for detail. I didn't think there was a way to use different fonts on ff, so while I kept most of Edward and Bella's note passing conversation intact, it doesn't look as cool as it does in Eclipse. Sorry...'s the way it is. Much love to all. Happy reading.

**Motives – EPOV**

Our flight left an hour after school was out, ensuring we would arrive in Florida in the middle of the night. When I made a joke about not needing sunscreen, Bella looked at me almost apologetically and I wished I had kept my mouth shut. I asked Carlisle to drop us off since Charlie was still only moderately okay with the situation, and I didn't want anything upsetting Bella this weekend. It was a chance for her to get away for a couple of days, forget the stresses of her upcoming graduation and all she felt that entailed. I reminded her as often as I could that there was no hurry, and since we were talking about eternity, she needed to be completely sure, but she always repeated the same thing – her mind was made up. Shortly after graduation, she was determined to make Carlisle follow through with his promise.

Bella stared out the window dreamily for most of the flight, glancing occasionally at me with a look of pure love in her eyes. I wasn't sure if it was the simple fact that we were getting away, or that she was going to see her mother again, but it was the most at peace I'd seen her in a long time.

Renee met us at the airport, and the moment she and Bella locked eyes, they squealed with delight and ran toward each other. I watched in awed silence as they grinned and hugged, both talking a mile and minute, probably not understanding a word the other was saying but not caring because they were together. It was several minutes before either of them seemed to remember I was there. Then, with a sheepish smile, Bella turned to me.

"Mom, you remember Edward," she said tentatively. I could hear her holding her breath.

"So nice to see you again, Renee," I said, using the fact that I was holding both Bella's and my own bags as an excuse not to shake her hand. The last thing we needed was for her to jump at my icy skin.

"Edward," she said formally, nodding once at me.

I'd forgotten how interesting it was listening to Renee's thoughts. It was a jumble, much like Charlie's was, but I could hear coherent words and phrases every so often, and was surprised at how clear a picture it granted me.

_Polite...clearly cares...too soon...seventeen._

It was as if Renee was in a constant battle with herself. She could sense how deeply I loved Bella, but was also frightened by that very fact. She couldn't let go of the notion that falling in love too young had no way of ending well. If only she knew how long I'd waited for Bella, and how complete my devotion to her truly was.

"Phil's sorry he couldn't be here to greet you," she said, turning back to Bella. "He has to be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow, and he'll be working with the team all weekend, getting them ready for the big game on Sunday."

"That's fine. I'm sure we'll find some time to talk."

"That would be nice. Maybe I can make everyone breakfast Sunday morning before he has to head out."

"Or you could let me cook," Bella said, a little too enthusiastically. I held back a chuckle as I thought of all the stories she'd told me about Renee's cooking.

"We'll see. For now, we'd better get you kids home. I'm sure you're both exhausted."

It was a short car ride to Renee's house, but she and Bella managed to catch up fairly well. I'd never heard Bella so talkative. It didn't escape my notice that Renee kept glancing back at me in the rear view mirror. With so much of my time spent listening to people's thoughts and figuring them out, it was an odd feeling, knowing she was working so hard to figure _me _out.

She noticed the way I watched Bella every second, and again she seemed to be arguing with herself over whether it was endearing or cause for concern. When Bella felt my stare, she reached back over her shoulder and I gave her hand a quick squeeze, enjoying the way her heart sped up as soon as we touched. Renee's scrutiny only increased after the gesture, though her voice remained even.

When we arrived, the two walked hand in hand inside while I carried our bags. Renee had made up the couch for me, and Bella was shown to the guest room.

"Goodnight," Bella said, glancing back at me longingly. That look didn't escape Renee's notice either, and she eyed me cautiously as they headed upstairs.

A few minutes later, Renee came back down, and her mind was working overtime, debating how much to say to me. I had to suppress a grin when I realized she was worried about me sneaking up to Bella's room.

"I hope this is all right for you," she said, glancing at the couch. "And I'm right upstairs if you need anything else."

Subtle...

"It's wonderful. Thank you for your hospitality."

"No, thank you," she said, her eyes instantly softening. "Thank you so much for bringing Bella out here. I miss her every day."

"I'll pass the thanks along to my parents. It was their idea, and I'm happy we were able to make the trip. She misses you very much as well."

"Really?" she asked, her voice almost shaking as she sat down beside me.

"Of course. She talks about you often."

"That's good to hear. Every time she calls or emails me, all I really hear from her is how happy she is. Obviously, that's what I want. That's the most important thing. It's just that it's still strange for me, hearing that she's happy in the place I couldn't wait to get away from."

She paused then, and I tried to listen to the path her mind had taken her on, but there were too many conflicting emotions and thoughts.

"She didn't use to like Forks much either," she finally continued.

"She probably never spent long enough there to really get to know anyone. She has a lot of friends now, and she likes school."

"And she has you." It wasn't a question, but a simple statement of fact, as sure as if she'd told me it rains a lot in the Northwest.

"Yes, Bella and I are very happy together. And my family absolutely adores her. She spends a lot of time with Alice especially. It's fun to watch them together. Opposites in so many ways, yet somehow the best of friends."

"Yes, well, I'm glad to hear she's doing well."

_Be careful...slow down...too young...so kind..._

The battle raged on for a few more moments, before she finally sighed and let her expression relax into a smile.

"I'm sorry, I should let you sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

Without another word, she stood up and walked quickly up the stairs. When I heard her door shut, my own internal battle began as I decided whether or not to go to Bella. A part of me wondered if she was expecting me to, though we had already decided to spend the two nights there apart. While I had no doubt I could get to her soundlessly and unnoticed, I knew the idea made Bella nervous, and it seemed smarter not to take the chance.

It was a very long night. I hadn't realized how much I'd come to depend on Bella's presence to make the otherwise lonely, mundane hours pass by quickly. Early the next morning, I heard Phil coming downstairs, so I closed my eyes and leaned back onto the couch.

_Bringing the boyfriend home to meet Mom. It's a wonder she's not more of a wreck._

I inwardly smiled, watching him through half opened eyes as he made himself breakfast. He was quiet and respectful, looking in my direction only once before heading out for his busy day. A couple of hours after Phil left, a door opened upstairs. I sat up and stretched out my arms when I heard the familiar sound of Bella's heartbeat. She was still rubbing at tired eyes as she entered the living room, but as soon as she saw me, her face broke into a huge grin.

"Good morning," I whispered as she curled up onto my lap.

"It is now," she giggled, her arms wrapping around my neck as her face buried into my shoulder. "I didn't realize how hard it would be to sleep without you."

"Well, after tomorrow night, I'll do my best to make sure you never have to again."

She didn't respond, and when I glanced down, I noticed the pout on her face.

"Are you rethinking our sleeping arrangements already?" I teased.

"Maybe," she mumbled, and I felt her cheeks growing warmer.

"If you want me to come up tonight, all you have to do is ask."

"I'll keep that in mind," she said, nuzzling closer.

I smiled and stroked her hair, comforted by the fact that even one night apart felt like too much to her. I felt exactly the same way. We sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each others company, until Bella sighed and started to pull away.

"I want to get breakfast started before Mom wakes up. That way, she has no choice but to accept the offer."

"And what will Renee say when I decline your gracious food offering?"

"Oh, well you will have already eaten, of course. My cooking is simply too delicious to resist," she teased.

I followed her into the kitchen and watched in fascination at the way she knew where everything was.

"Mom is such a creature of comfort," she said as she reached for the frying pan. "Different house, yet everything is set up exactly how it was back home."

"Do you think she misses Arizona?"

"You're asking me? You must have a much better idea than I do."

"You'd be surprised," I muttered, not really wanting to get into the mechanics of Renee's mind with Bella. "Besides, that's not exactly what's at the forefront of her thoughts."

She stopped in her tracks and looked at me wide eyed, her heart starting to race.

"Is she upset? Does she wish I had come alone? Is she going to lecture me like Charlie?"

"Hey," I said, crossing the room instantly and pulling her into my arms again. "Don't worry about it. She's fine. Just a little worried, that's all. She can tell how much we care about each other, and she's afraid we're too young."

"If only she knew," she sighed, mirroring my earlier thoughts.

With a deep breath, Bella resumed breakfast, and as the scent started to waft through the house, I could hear Renee stirring upstairs. I quickly detached myself from Bella and took a seat at the table.

_Shouldn't have...they're guests...so thoughtful..._

"Good morning you two," she said brightly. "I was going to cook, but it looks like you beat me to it."

"That's the idea," Bella smiled. "Consider it a thanks for picking us up and letting us stay here."

"You know you're welcome any time. It's just so good to see you again."

She walked over and gave Bella another enormous hug, her mind suddenly racing through a number of memories from Bella's childhood. Although it was little more than quick glimpses at pieces of a large puzzle, I got a fairly clear impression of why Bella always said she felt like the grown up in their relationship. Renee never kept her thoughts in one place for long, always looking forward to the next exciting event. It was like nothing was ever able to hold her interest for more than a few moments.

When breakfast was ready, they sat down at the table, Bella beside me and Renee across from us.

"Edward was really hungry so I him something earlier," Bella said, smirking sideways at me, "but I waited for you so we could eat together."

"That's so sweet. And after breakfast, maybe I can take you into town."

Bella's eyes darted to me for a moment before answering. I wouldn't be able to set foot outside, and we weren't sure the excuse of my term paper would last the entire weekend.

"I'm still a little jet-lagged," she said. "Do you think we could stay here today? Talk some more, maybe watch a movie. It's good to finally be able to just relax."

"Of course, sweetie. Whatever you want."

Renee glanced over at me and I tried to momentarily divert my attention away from Bella. I looked around the house and finally let my gaze wander back to Renee, who was still watching me questioningly.

"Your house is lovely," I said, smiling warmly. "How are you and Phil liking Florida so far?"

"It's hot, that's for sure, and a different kind of hot than Phoenix was. But we're really happy here. How are things back home? Are you two getting excited for graduation?"

I heard Bella's heart jump, and she instinctively leaned in closer to me.

"There's definitely a lot to think about," I said, taking Bella's hand underneath the table.

"But we're ready," she added, giving my hand a firm squeeze.

Renee kept us engaged in near constant conversation, her mind still racing trying to figure out how to fit months worth of not seeing Bella into the two days she had. She was always exceptionally polite to me, though I continued to hear her warring thoughts and see her confused glances. Phil came home late and completely exhausted, apologizing for having to make a hasty retreat. He needed a shower and a good night's sleep before the big game Sunday. Bella smiled at him sincerely, and I knew she was planning on getting up extra early to make sure breakfast was ready before he had to leave. It would be the only real time she would get to spend with him.

Bella and I generally kept a respectable distance, but when evening came and Renee wished us goodnight, I caught a very pointed look in my direction. It was nearly as obvious as the one Bella gave me only moments later, telling me beyond any doubt that she'd decided it was worth the risk.

As soon as I was sure Renee was asleep, I swiftly flew upstairs and into Bella's room. She was beaming at me the moment I entered.

"Missed you," she whispered as I crawled into the bed next to her. She leaned into me and laid her head against my chest.

"Missed you, too," I said, kissing the top of her head. "So, are you and Renee going out tomorrow? I wouldn't want you to miss out on the sun entirely because of me."

I was trying to keep it light, but she detected the hint of sadness in my voice. I hated that I wasn't able to take her outside or walk along the beach with her, and I certainly didn't want her giving it all up because she felt bad about leaving me behind. The day was coming far too soon when she too would have to hide from the sun, and I couldn't stand to think of her missing out while she could still be basking in it.

"Yeah, she's going to show me around town, and we might go down to the beach for a bit."

"Please don't hurry on my account. I'm perfectly happy here. You two should have some time alone together anyway."

"I know. I just hate leaving you behind."

"Bella, it's okay. I'm happy to see you so happy. That's all I care about."

She snuggled closer to me, and I started to hum her lullaby. Within a few minutes, she was drifting off to sleep, and I tried to fight the feelings of guilt over all the things I was taking away from her.

I crept downstairs before the sun came up, and Bella joined me shortly after. By the time Phil and Renee woke up, she'd prepared an elaborate breakfast which they all devoured, while I pretended to already be hard at work on my supposed term paper. A couple of hours later, Bella and Renee left for their day together. When Renee suggested I bring my paper down to the beach to work on it there, I explained that the heat tended to give me a headache and I needed to concentrate.

As soon as they were gone, I took out my cell phone and made the call I'd been both wanting to make, and dreading since we'd arrived. It hadn't even rung once when I heard Alice's voice on the other line.

"We almost had her, but she got away."

"What?" I yelled. "How is that possible?"

"We don't entirely know. It was like she knew exactly where we were and what we were planning. She knew where the boundary line was too, and she used it against us. Besides the fact that as soon as we got near the wolves, I was effectively blind, there was a bit of an incident. The pack had been tracking her as well, but when one of them thought Emmett had crossed the line, he lunged at him, teeth bared, no thought whatsoever of the hunt that really mattered. Two of the others jumped in front of him to stop the attack, but when Rosalie stepped in, ready to fight right alongside Emmett, it only got them more worked up. Esme and I tried to pull Emmett and Rose away, while Jasper and Carlisle calmed the pack down. Between Jasper's ability to make them feel like we're all one big happy family, and Carlisle's voice of reason, the whole ordeal didn't take more than a few moments. It didn't matter, though. Victoria was long gone."

I took a deep breath and clenched my eyes shut, exasperated. "So what do we do now?"

"There's not much we can do. I don't see any sign of her returning right away, but we'll be prepared in any case."

"So you're sure she's nowhere near Forks?"

"It doesn't look like it. Are you two coming home tonight?"

"We have to. If I try to keep her here longer than we'd planned, she'll know something's wrong."

"And you're still sure keeping this from her is the best idea?"

"Yes. There's no point in frightening her as long as we're sure there's no danger. She's lived through enough trauma because of us as it is."

"All right. But for the record, I think you should tell her. It was different when we thought Victoria would be taken care of by now. But don't you think she deserves to know what's out there?"

"She knows what's out there. All that matters now is that she never has to face any of it again."

"Okay," she sighed, obviously not convinced. "I'll see you tonight."

My mind raced the rest of the day, and although I knew I was being ridiculous, I couldn't help but worry about Bella. There was no reason to think Victoria could have somehow known we were here, but after hearing how quickly she'd disappeared from Forks, all I wanted was for Bella to be back in my arms again.

When they returned that afternoon, I went to give Bella a hug, and noticed she pulled away from me almost instantly. She looked up into my eyes with the strangest expression, and glanced at Renee who was busying herself in the kitchen, trying to give us a few moments together. When I asked if anything was wrong, she shook her head and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, then went to join Renee.

After they'd eaten dinner, Bella reluctantly went upstairs to pack her bag. Renee watched me while her mind once again tried to figure me out. There was something softer now, more accepting somehow in her thoughts, which was mirrored in her expression. She walked over and sat down beside me on the couch while I too started gathering my things.

"She loves you," she said simply, and I stopped to look her in the eyes.

"And I love her. More than anything."

"Yes. I can see that. I may not understand exactly what it is you two have, but I trust Bella, and she trusts you."

Then, inexplicably, her mind became clearer than I'd ever seen it. She was imagining Bella older, picturing her future. And I was unmistakably in it – beside her, loving her, protecting her. I smiled as I realized Renee understood us a lot better than she was giving herself credit for.

"Promise me one thing," she said softly, looking wistfully up toward Bella's room. "Take care of her, and make sure she's always as happy as she is right now."

"I will. For as long as she'll let me."

She smiled, shaking her head as she laughed to herself. As hard as I tried to listen, her thoughts had become hazy again. She seemed happy though, content, which gave me a peace of mind I hadn't realized I'd been looking for.

Bella came downstairs with a sad smile on her face, and when Renee hugged her, they both had tears in their eyes. The sun was starting to set as we drove to the airport, and after another round of tearful hugs and goodbyes, Renee let Bella go and waved us off.

She didn't say much on the plane, and I watched the way her eyes kept following the horizon line as we flew west toward the setting sun. Carlisle had brought the Volvo to the airport for us, figuring we would want some time alone to talk. As I watched Bella from the corner of my eye, I finally decided I couldn't take the silence anymore. Though I thought the weekend had gone exceptionally well, I was worried that something had upset her.

"You've been very quiet," I said softly. "Did the plane make you sick?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Are you sad to leave?"

"More relieved than sad, I think."

I looked at her skeptically. I knew she'd enjoyed the time with her mother, and Renee had been much more accepting of our relationship than I think Bella had expected. What reason could she have to be relieved it was over?

"Renee is so much more..._perceptive_ than Charlie in some ways. It was making me jumpy," she explained.

I laughed, suddenly more than a little curious what Renee had said to her during their time alone. When she'd spoken to me, it almost seemed like she was encouraging our relationship to progress. It's not like I thought she was expecting an engagement or anything, but I was sure from the glimpses I'd gotten, she knew Bella was my future, and I was hers.

"Your mother has a very interesting mind. Almost childlike, but very insightful. She sees things differently than other people."

Bella nodded as she considered this, then turned to look back out the window. Her eyes fluttered closed and I heard her breathing slow, as she finally gave in to her exhaustion. I slowed down slightly, enjoying watching the peaceful way she slept, and when we finally pulled into her driveway, I wished I didn't have to wake her. At least it wouldn't be long before I could hold her, and let her drift off gently again into a full night's sleep.

I slowly reached out to touch her cheek, not wanting to startle her. Her eyes squinted open and she smiled as she focused on me. I kissed her forehead and whispered, "We're home, Sleeping Beauty. Time to awake."

As I reached into the back seat to get her bag, we both noticed the curtains move. Charlie was trying to stay calm and not appear too anxious, but he was happy to have Bella home. A part of him was worried that she might have found Florida too appealing, or missed her mother too much. He couldn't stand the thought of her wanting to leave Forks behind the way Renee had.

Somewhere in the middle of his muddled thoughts, I caught something about Jacob, and I felt my body tense.

"How bad?" Bella asked, misreading my sudden change in posture.

"Charlie's not going to be difficult. He missed you," I said, trying to force myself to relax.

When we reached the door, Charlie was waiting with a wide, enthusiastic grin on his face.

"Welcome home, kid! How was Jacksonville?"

"Moist. And buggy."

I could hear the relief as his worried thoughts eased.

"So Renee didn't sell you on the University of Florida?"

"She tried. But I'd rather drink water than inhale it."

With an audible sigh, he turned to me and asked, "Did you have a nice time?"

"Yes. Renee was very hospitable," I said politely, smiling – which always confused him.

"That's...um, good. Glad you had fun."

With that, Charlie scooped Bella into a huge hug, laughing when she muttered, "Impressive."

"I really missed you, Bella. The food around here sucks when you're gone."

"I'll get on it," she said, grinning as he released her. She was happy to be home too, and it wasn't until that instant that I realized part of me had been as nervous as Charlie was that she would be entranced by the Florida sun, wishing she could stay. I'd never stand in her way, and I'd spend my life inside hiding from the sun if that's what she wanted. But I was glad to know she truly considered Forks her home.

"Would you call Jacob first?" Charlie said, interrupting my moment of joy. He hadn't thought about it since he'd first seen us pull up, and I'd allowed myself to forget it was coming. "He's been bugging me every five minutes since six o'clock this morning. I promised I'd have you call him before you even unpacked."

"Jacob wants to talk to me?" Bella asked tentatively. I wished I hadn't heard the touch of excitement in her voice.

"Pretty bad, I'd say. He wouldn't tell me what it was about – just said it was important." The words were barely out of his mouth before the phone rang, and I nearly growled. "That's him again, I'd bet my next paycheck."

"I got it," Bella said, running toward the kitchen with me following nervously behind. "Hello?" she asked expectantly.

"You're back," I heard him say.

I put one hand around Bella's waist and listened to their short conversation. I didn't think even he would be foolish enough to let something about Victoria slip, but I was waiting, ready to grab the phone away at the first indication. It all felt simple enough, though I couldn't understand why he wanted to make sure she was going to be at school the next day. Did he think I'd kidnapped her or something?

I tried to ignore the way Bella's heart sped up slightly as she told him she was happy he'd called. The hand that wasn't holding her clenched into a fist and I instinctively backed away so she wouldn't feel my extreme tension. The conversation ended abruptly, and Bella was left with a look of severe disappointment on her face.

"That was short," she said dejectedly.

"Is everything all right?" I asked, feeling simultaneously relieved he hadn't said much, and furious that he'd upset Bella.

"I don't know. I wonder what that was about."

"Your guess is probably better than mine," I said, smirking at her. The only time I had any idea what he was thinking was when I had access to his mind, and thankfully, it had been a long time since we'd been close enough for that.

"Mmm," she mumbled, absently reaching for ingredients for dinner.

I watched her, once again trying to figure out her what her silent mind wouldn't tell me. Was she simply worried about him, or did she really miss him? Was it nothing more than a friend looking out for a friend, or were there unresolved feelings from the time I'd left her so broken, she'd turned to the wolf for solace?

I was still staring at her, perplexed, when she stopped in her tracks. Her eyes widened, her breath sped up, and the hamburger meat slipped from her hands. I closed the small gap between us, catching and discarding it before pulling her into my arms.

"What's wrong?" I whispered nervously, but she merely shook her head.

After several very long minutes, I gently shook her, and asked, "Bella?" Her eyes were glazed over as I stared into them.

"I think...I think he was checking," she said quietly, her voice trembling. "Checking to make sure. That I'm human, I mean."

My body tightened and I felt a hiss building in my chest. The kid had a lot of nerve.

"We'll have to leave," Bella said softly. "Before. So that it doesn't break the treaty. We won't ever be able to come back."

Her voice broke and I held her closer, willing her misery away. "I know," I breathed, wishing for anything that would give us more time – her love for Charlie, fear of breaking the treaty, even unwillingness to hurt Jacob. Anything.

We were both so lost in our own minds, we didn't hear Charlie enter the kitchen.

"Ahem."

Bella flinched away from me, face bright red. I leaned against the counter to give her space, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't relax my expression. I focused down toward the floor and attempted to calm myself down, not wanting Charlie to misread it as irritation with him.

"If you don't want to make dinner, I can call for a pizza," he said.

"No, that's okay, I'm already started."

"Okay," he answered, leaning against the wall and staring at us intently. It was clear he wasn't about to leave us alone again.

Using exhaustion from the trip as an excuse, I decided to make my exit. It was late, and I knew it wouldn't be long before Bella would be asleep. I needed to make a quick run home to check in with my family before joining her again. She started setting the table and, ignoring Charlie's glare, I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and whispered, "I'll see you soon," far too low for Charlie to hear.

When I got home, of course Alice was waiting for me.

"How was your trip?" she asked casually as I rolled my eyes. I wasn't in the mood for small talk.

"It was lovely. Now, there's a more important matter at hand."

"I've already told you, Victoria is nowhere near us."

"It's actually not about that," I said, my earlier irritation creeping back into my voice. "It seems Jacob thought I was running Bella out of town to change her."

"What?" she gaped, and her thoughts immediately turned sour. She hated that it was just one more thing she hadn't seen coming.

"He'd been calling Charlie all weekend, and when he finally got to speak to Bella, the whole conversation didn't even last five minutes. She thinks he was checking up on her."

"What right does he have? Even if you _had _taken her away for that reason, it would have been far away from Quileute land and he'd have no way of ever proving it."

"I know. I think it's more that. He's...worried about her. He wanted to know she was okay."

I felt some of my anger dissipate as I realized it probably wasn't all about the treaty to him. He cared about Bella, in his own way, and I couldn't fault him for that. Still, I didn't want him checking up on her every time she disappeared for a few days. With Victoria's whereabouts unknown, it was entirely possible that we'd have to repeat our escape again in the near future.

After a few minutes, Carlisle and Esme came downstairs. They greeted me with smiles and hugs, happy Bella and I had enjoyed our trip. The atmosphere was almost too light, considering the reason for our departure. They all assured me, however, that there was no danger in the immediate future, and the best thing I could do was to keep Bella calm – close, but calm – until they could figure out a plan of action.

By the time I was on my way back to her, everything had started to feel nearly back to normal. That was, until we got to school the next day.

_Better get here soon. Don't want to be here any longer than I have to. Stupid bloodsuckers. They're lucky Paul didn't take that big one out. Had every right to. Next time, we're not stopping him. They step over the line, they're fair game._

I could hear Jacob's infuriated thoughts a few blocks before we reached the school, and my hands clenched around the steering wheel.

"If I asked you to do something, would you trust me?" I asked Bella warily. It was obvious Jacob would have no problem speaking bluntly in front of her, and I knew there was little I would be able to do about it.

Her heartbeat accelerated as she took in my expression.

"That depends," she said shakily.

"I was afraid you would say that."

"What do you want me to do, Edward?"

"I want you to stay in the car." As I parked the car, I glanced carefully around until I found him. There was no way I'd be able to convince Bella to stay if she saw him, so I tried to keep her eyes locked with mine. "I want you to wait here until I come back for you."

"But..._why_?" she asked, her gaze breaking from mine as she surveyed the parking lot. "Oh," she finally breathed, and I knew the battle was lost. All I could do now was try to stop him from saying the words out loud.

"You jumped to the wrong conclusion last night," I told her solemnly. "He asked about school because he knew that I would be where you were. He was looking for a safe place to talk to me. A place with witnesses."

She looked momentarily confused, but her expression quickly shifted into one of resolve.

"I'm not staying in the car."

"Of course not," I sighed. "Well, let's get this over with."

We got out of the car and I wasted no time in reaching out to grab Bella's hand. I laced her fingers through mine, ignoring the icy thoughts that were coming my way as Jacob glared openly toward us. The thoughts of everyone around us were confused and nervous, with an occasional touch of exhilaration, the way most high school kids responded when they sensed a fight could break out at any moment.

I stopped walking when I was sure we were close enough to talk without anyone overhearing. I gently moved Bella a step behind me, and set to work trying to stop Jacob from saying too much.

"You could have called us," I said firmly.

"Sorry. I don't have any leeches on my speed dial."

"You could have reached me at Bella's house, of course," I said, smiling sincerely.

His face contorted, his jaw tightened, and I bit back the growl that was threatening to escape. Being familiar with the irrational responses of werewolves, I reminded myself that it was my job to keep him as calm as possible.

"This is hardly the place, Jacob. Could we discuss this later?"

"Sure, sure. I'll stop by your crypt after school. What's wrong with now?"

I glanced around pointedly at all the bystanders, listening carefully as they grew more and more curious. It wasn't worth stirring suspicion, and Jacob knew it. He was just being stubborn.

"I already know what you came to say," I said softly, a small grin playing at my mouth. Really, we hadn't even needed to get out of the car. This could have been settled before it was started. "Message delivered," I said dryly. "Consider us warned."

I chanced a quick look toward Bella who was still watching us worriedly.

"Warned?" she asked. "What are you talking about?"

_Unbelievable_, Jacob thought, his irritation growing. _Won't even let her make up her own mind who to be upset with._

"You didn't tell her?" he asked incredulously. "What, were you afraid she'd take our side?"

"Please drop it, Jacob," I said calmly.

"Why?" _You afraid she'll ditch you when she hears how it was _your _family who took it a few steps too far? And how if it wasn't for that idiot brother of yours, Victoria might be a pile of ashes by now?_

"What don't I know?" Bella asked nervously. "Edward?"

_You don't tell her, I will. All's fair..._

"Jake?" she asked, turning to him. It took every ounce of strength in me not to scoop her up and take off running. If it weren't for the growing number of witnesses staring at us, I don't think I would have been able to stop myself.

Jacob smirked at me. _You know she would have rather heard it from you, but I'm happy to oblige._

"He didn't tell you that his big..._brother_ crossed the line Saturday night?" he said, scrutinizing Bella's reaction. Then, he turned back to me and he was scathing. "Paul was totally justified in – "

"It was no-man's land!"

"Was not!"

I watched him closely for any sign he was losing control. No amount of bystanders would stop me from getting Bella out of there if I thought for one moment he was about to phase. He seemed to be calming himself down as Bella finally spoke, her voice terrified.

"Emmett and Paul? What happened? Were they fighting?" she asked, increasingly nervous with every second that passed without an answer. "Why? Did Paul get hurt?"

"No one fought," I whispered. "No one got hurt. Don't be anxious."

_You have got to be kidding me, _Jacob suddenly thought, staring at me in disbelief._Well this is an interesting twist. I get to be the barer of all sorts of good news today, don't I?_ I glared at him, but he was long gone. He was enjoying the moment far too much.

"You didn't tell her anything at all, did you?" he said deliberately, piquing Bella's curiosity. "Is that why you took her away? So she wouldn't know that – ?"

"Leave now," I spat, wishing more than ever that we were alone and I could put him in his place properly.

"Why haven't you told her?" he persisted unrelentingly.

I glared at him, more furious than I'd ever been with him. He was doing this out of spite. He didn't care about how much it would upset Bella, only that it would get her angry with me. In the midst of my fury, I could hear Bella's heart start to pound and her breath was coming in quick, short gasps. I looked down at her wide, scared eyes just before she spoke.

"She came back for me."

The fear in her eyes, the fear I'd worked so hard to shield her from, was increasing with every second. I pulled her into me and softly touched her cheeks, willing her pain away.

"It's fine," I whispered, desperately trying to look into her eyes, but they were glazed over and distant. "It's fine. I'll never let her get close to you, it's fine," I repeated. When she still wouldn't look at me, I turned to stare at Jacob.

"Does that answer your question, mongrel?" I growled.

"You don't think Bella has a right to know? It's her life."

"Why should she be frightened when she was never in danger?"

"Better frightened than lied to." _You may not agree with me, but Bella will. Just wait. I almost wish I could be there to see it._

Bella's breathing started to steady, and I wiped the last of her tears away.

"Do you really think hurting her is better than protecting her?" I whispered, hating the way the panic was still lingering in her eyes after the tears had stopped.

"She's tougher than you think. And she's been through worse."

Without warning, all the bitter and sarcastic thoughts vanished from Jacob's mind, and I was left with nothing but images of Bella. For a moment, I didn't understand what had caused his sudden shift in thinking, but then I saw her lying on the ground in the woods. Her hair was tangled and matted, her face twisted into a mask of pain, her eyes bloodshot, staring into nothingness. It felt like a secondhand memory, one that Jacob had seen through the eyes of another, but that only diluted it infinitesimally.

Then, I saw her with Jacob. She was so still, she might have been asleep, except that her eyes were open. Open, but completely vacant. Image after image of that vacant stare followed, sometimes accompanied by images of Bella wrapping her arms around herself like she was in some kind of physical pain. It looked like she was gasping for air as she fought to keep her composure. Nowhere in the sea of memories did I see the faintest glimpse of a smile. It was the worst kind of torture, because it was exactly the kind of pain I was trying to protect her from, yet I knew I had been the cause of every moment of it.

"That's funny,"Jacob laughed, finally releasing me from the torment of his memories.

"What are you doing to him?" Bella snapped angrily at Jacob.

"It's nothing, Bella," I whispered. "Jacob just has a good memory, that's all."

Another wave of images hit me just as I was recovering, and Jacob smiled viciously.

"Stop it!" Bella yelled. "Whatever you're doing."

"Sure, if you want," he said casually. "It's his own fault if he doesn't like the things I remember, though."

Then, I heard the school principal making his way toward us. He'd heard talk of some big kid no one knew hanging around the parking lot.

"The principal's on his way to discourage loitering on school property," I said softly. "Let's get to English, Bella, so you're not involved."

"Overprotective, isn't he?" Jacob said to Bella. "A little trouble makes life more fun. Let me guess, you're not allowed to have fun, are you?"

"Shut up, Jake," she snapped, but he was too amused to care.

"That sounds like a _no_. Hey, if you ever feel like having a life again, you could come see me. I've still got your motorcycle in my garage."

"You were supposed to sell that. You promised Charlie you would."

"Yeah, right. Like I would do that. It belongs to you, not me. Anyway, I'll hold on to it until you want it back."

He was nearly smiling, all signs of anger completely gone as he looked at Bella. It was like he'd completely forgotten why we were standing there, or that I was there at all for that matter.

"Jake..." Bella said softly, and he leaned in closer to her. I watched with dark curiosity at the way she seemed to have such a calming effect on him. No wonder she'd never felt in danger around him. He was much more carefully practiced than I would have expected.

"I think I might have been wrong before, you know, about not being able to be friends. Maybe we could manage it, on my side of the line. Come see me."

I forced myself not to flinch at the suggestion. Bella was already going to be upset enough, without me reminding her for the hundredth time how unsafe it was to be in the company of werewolves. Even if Jacob had managed to infuse me with some small amount of confidence that he wouldn't cause her any physical harm, there was no way I was letting her anywhere near the rest of the pack. Especially after what happened Saturday.

Bella glanced up at me before answering, and I kept my expression composed.

"I, er, don't know about that, Jake."

"I miss you every day, Bella. It's not the same without you."

I was stunned. There wasn't a single trace of a malicious thought in his mind, though he was looking right at her, wrapped tightly in my arms. All I could hear was compassion, and a genuine longing to be with her.

"I know and I'm sorry, Jake, I just..."

"I know," he sighed, and in an instant, he was the person he'd been before. Jealous, angry with me, and endlessly frustrated by the fact that Bella was no longer his in the way he'd once thought of her. "Doesn't matter, right? I guess I'll survive or something. Who needs friends?"

I felt Bella's arms twitch toward him, but I couldn't make myself let her go. My need to protect her was too strong. Yet somehow I knew it was no longer physical harm I was protecting her from.

A moment later, we all heard the principal's voice coming up behind us, and we knew the conversation was over.

"Okay, get to class. Move along, Mr. Crowley."

"Get to school, Jake," Bella whispered. I dropped my arms from around her, and took her hand in mine.

"I mean it," the principal continued. "Detention for anyone who's still standing here when I turn around again. Ah, Mr. Cullen. Do we have a problem here?"

"Not at all, Mr. Greene. We were just on our way to class."

"Excellent. I don't seem to recognize your friend," he said, looking at Jacob. "Are you a new student here?" _Can't possibly be in high school. Come on, just leave. We don't need any trouble today._

"Nope," Jacob said, obviously enjoying the fact that he was making poor Mr. Greene nervous.

"Then I suggest you remove yourself from school property at once, young man, before I call the police."

Jacob and I both grinned as the same image came to us. Charlie would get a phone call that somebody was causing a scene at the high school, and he'd come charging in only to see Jacob standing there, laughing. While Jacob was sure he would shrug the whole thing off, I knew how seriously Charlie took his job, and I couldn't help but think the incident would take Jacob's approval rating down a notch. Maybe I should keep him here a little while longer...

"Yes, sir," Jacob said with mock sincerity, saluting him before speeding away on his bike.

_Disrespectful. Shouldn't have to put up with this nonsense..._

"Mr. Cullen," he said, directing his frustration back at me. "I expect you to ask your friend to refrain from trespassing again."

"He's no friend of mine, Mr. Greene, but I'll pass along the warning," I said, smiling warmly at him

_Should have known. Not his fault. Never had any trouble before. Shouldn't have been rude._

"I see. If you're worried about any trouble, I'd be happy to – "

"There's nothing to worry about, Mr. Greene. There won't be any trouble."

"I hope that's correct. Well, then. On to class. You, too, Miss Swan."

Bella's baffled expression didn't escape my notice as we walked to class hand in hand.

"Do you feel well enough to go to class?" I asked her softly. I knew she'd have an enormous amount of questions, and while I wasn't in any hurry for the anger that would likely accompany them, there was no point in putting it off and watching her sulk all day.

"Yes," she said, gripping my hand a tighter.

Class had already started when we arrived, and Bella wasted no time getting to her questioning. I nearly laughed when I saw her furiously scrawling a note to me. Was this really the best way to discuss this? I read her note, in which she demanded that I tell her everything. Though it didn't seem the ideal way to go about it, I decided if this was how she wanted to handle it, I would be all too willing. She couldn't yell at me in the middle of class.

I explained that Alice had seen a vision of Victoria, but promised Florida had merely been a precaution. I told her about the incident in La Push much the way Alice had explained it to me. It was a misunderstanding, and no one got hurt. There was nothing for her to be concerned about.

Her eyebrows pulled together as she read, some hidden emotion upsetting her further, though I'd tried to keep it as casual as possible. A moment later, she started writing again, and as soon as I saw she was asking about Charlie, I shook my head. This wasn't about him, and Victoria was being far too careful about not exposing her location to risk an attack on him.

I reached out for the paper so I could explain, but she was already scribbling again. When I saw, _Florida was a bad idea_, I cringed, and quickly answered that there was no way I was sending her there alone. Then, with a grin, I added, _With your luck, not even the black box would survive_.

Her eyes widened as her expression shifted again, and I was suddenly having more fun than I probably should have been, given the circumstances.

_So let's say my bad luck did crash the plane. What exactly were __you going to do about it?_ she wrote, eying me skeptically.

_Why is the plane crashing?_

_The pilots are passed out drunk._

_Easy. I'd fly the plane._

She glared down at the paper, and I chuckled under my breath as she started writing again.

_Both engines have exploded and we're falling in a death spiral toward the earth._

_I'd wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a good grip on you, kick out the wall, and jump. Then I'd run you back to the scene of the accident, and we'd stumble around like the two luckiest survivors in history._

Her eyes widened in surprise.

"What?" I whispered. It wasn't like it had come out of nowhere. She'd been nearly silent on the plane, so I'd let my mind wander a bit. Maybe more than a bit.

"Nothing," she mouthed, as she scratched out the words on the paper, replacing them with the one sentence I'd been waiting for from the start.

_You _will _tell me next time. _

I met her stare again and wondered how long it would be until there was a next time. I knew she was trying to be brave, and in a way I understood her desire to know what was coming. As difficult as it was to think about telling her a vicious, out for revenge vampire was coming for her, I knew she deserved better than to be lied to. After an endless stretch of time, I reluctantly nodded, and she let out a long, slow breath she'd been holding.

_First they walk in late, then I'm completely ignored..._

I heard Mr. Berty's irate thoughts just as Bella was scribbling _ Thanks _onto the page. I snatched the paper from Bella and covered it with another, then quickly scrawled down notes on the poem Mr. Berty had been reciting as he began his walk toward us.

"Is that something you'd like to share there, Mr. Cullen?"

"My notes?" I asked.

He looked down at the paper, baffled.

_Could have sworn...getting too paranoid. Oh well._

He walked away and Bella rolled her eyes. I let a huge grin take over my face, happy the conversation was over. At least for now.


	4. Nature EPOV

A/N: Hi again everyone! The next two Eclipse chapters had very little Edward *sad sigh*, so I hope you all will indulge me a bit as I give our favorite vamp a little more storyline. Love to all, and sorry if I haven't replied to your review. Things have gotten a bit busier now that I'm off bed rest and am getting things ready for baby. I read and appreciate all your comments, THANKS!!!

Thanks also to shasta53 for helping me edit. You rock!

**Nature – EPOV**

Bella's irritation with me regarding the Victoria incident seemed to dissipate over the next few days. While I was thrilled to be back in her good graces, her change in mood wasn't entirely without a downside. As her anger wavered, her anxiety grew. She tried to hide it from me, and I knew there had never been a time when she was more thankful for my inability to read her thoughts. There were signs, though. Signs that were hard to ignore.

At first, she acted as if the fact that she was once again being stalked by a deranged vampire was nothing out of the ordinary – something to be expected even. She shrugged it off and went about her days in a fairly normal manner. However, as the days passed, I sensed the subtle changes. She was startled more easily by sudden sounds and movements, though there wouldn't likely be such a prelude to the type of attack she was in danger of. She was restless at night, her breathing more ragged and her speech more disjointed than usual. She never looked fully rested when she awoke.

I'd also noticed she held me closer, both at night and during the day. I was certain it was an unconscious gesture, so I didn't say anything. I was more than happy to give her whatever extra feeling of security I could offer, and the last thing I wanted was for her to feel embarrassed about needing it.

She'd done a fairly good job of hiding her fears from my family, with the exception of Jasper, of course, who tried to make me feel better by assuring me she grew more relaxed and confident when she was with us all. It was why I was completely stunned when Friday night, during one of her evening visits, she declared very firmly that she believed it was a bad idea to remain human any longer. All eyes turned abruptly to Bella. As a low growl escaped my chest, Alice flitted casually to my side.

"A little warning would have been nice," I muttered under my breath.

_Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen tonight. She's just nervous, that's all. She'll listen to us, I promise._

"There are seven of us, Bella. And with Alice on our side, I don't think Victoria's going to catch us off guard," Carlisle told her. Alice grinned smugly and went to Bella's side. "I think it's important, for Charlie's sake, that we stick with the original plan."

"We'd never allow anything to happen to you, sweetheart," Esme added kindly, glancing toward me for a moment. Her words were as much a promise to me as they were to Bella. "You know that. Please don't be anxious." Esme kissed her forehead lovingly and Bella blushed.

_Your girl's pretty cute when she's all embarrassed_, Emmett thought wryly, and I hissed nearly inaudibly at him as he broke into quiet laughter.

"I'm really glad Edward didn't kill you," he told Bella, still chuckling. "Everything's so much more fun with you around."

_Oh yeah, this is how I wanted to spend my evening. Talking the human out of __immortality again. And I thought eternity was monotonous before. _Rosalie was staring daggers at Emmett, who seemed completely oblivious, still too amused by the whole conversation.

Bella turned pleadingly to Alice, probably hoping to exploit her obvious desire to have Bella be an official member of the family, but Alice simply rolled her eyes.

"I'm offended. You're not honestly _worried _about this, are you?"

"If it's no big deal, then why did Edward drag me to Florida?" Bella turned to look at me, a hint of frustration lurking behind her mostly composed exterior.

"Haven't you noticed yet, Bella, that Edward is just the teensiest bit prone to overreaction?"

I sighed indignantly. Overreaction indeed. None of them understood how hard it was to sit by day after day and watch Bella, fragile and mortal, wondering what the next catastrophe would be. They all had the luxury of virtually indestructible mates, and couldn't possible fathom what that kind of fear felt like.

_Relax Edward, _Alice thought, staring at me pointedly. _Or better yet, let's help Bella relax. _

With a warm smile, Alice gripped Jasper's arm and whispered softly to him. He looked at me, then at Bella, and gave Alice the tiniest of nods as he took a deep breath. Almost immediately, I heard Bella's racing heart return to normal. A contented smile captured her face, and she turned to me with nothing but love and trust in her eyes.

"You're safe with us, Bella," Carlisle promised. "You are part of this family, and we will always protect you, no matter what."

She turned her gentle, relaxed stare toward Carlisle and thanked him as I took her hand in mine.

"See? There's nothing to worry about," I whispered, kissing her cheek as my thumb traced circles on the back of her hand.

A part of me wanted to keep her there and under Jasper's calming influence, but it was getting late and I knew she needed to get home. We'd barely made it out of the driveway before Bella's expression shifted back to one of anxiety.

"Bella, love, you're perfectly safe," I told her before she could even get the words out. Her brow pulled together as she looked over at me, and I smiled, bringing her hand up to kiss it. "I'm never going to let anything happen to you. Alice is on constant guard. We'll know the moment Victoria is planning to return. And next time, we won't let the wolves distract us from what's really important. She will not get away from us again."

I tried my best to keep the ire out of my voice as I thought about how close my family had been to taking care of the problem. Deep down I knew it was a simple mistake, but I couldn't help but blame the pack's temper for Victoria's escape.

"Still," Bella whispered, her eyes glazed over as she stared nervously out the window, "it seems ridiculous to put it off. We've already agreed my change is going to happen." She didn't look at me, probably because she knew what she would see. My teeth were clenched and my knuckles were gripping the steering wheel. I would never accept her change as imminent the way she did. Until her heart beat for the last time, I would hold onto her humanity and cherish it like the gift it was.

"If you know you're safe," I said, speaking as calmly as I could manage, "then there's no need to rush into anything."

"I know we said after graduation, but every day we wait is one more day we tempt fate," she argued, turning to look me in the eye.

"That's between you and Carlisle." Then I thought of the only thing I knew for sure would end the conversation. Smiling sincerely, I added, "Of course, you know that I'm willing to make it between you and me at any time that you wish. You know my condition."

I heard her heart jump and stutter as her eyes widened and returned to the window. Everyday since we'd returned from Florida, I found myself thinking about my absurd proposal, and I suddenly berated myself for bringing it up again. She deserved so much better, and I planned to give it to her. Though the fear in her eyes at the very mention of marriage did shake my confidence to some extent.

Would it really make a difference where or how I said it? Would it matter to her if I whisked her away to our meadow and proposed underneath the glorious rays of the sun? Would she care that it was my mother's ring I held in offering, the single tie I had to my human past and the only object I deemed beautiful enough to place on her finger? Would my declaration of love and eternal devotion silence her fears? I would give her all I had to give, yet I had no way of knowing if it was enough.

It was with that thought that I parked the car and walked her to the front door. I could hear Charlie pacing inside, though we were nowhere near her curfew.

"See you in a few minutes," I whispered, kissing her softly before making my way around the house to her window.

Bella and Charlie engaged in their normal evening smalltalk, and while he remained as oblivious as usual, I could tell she was nervously rushing the conversation. Less than ten minutes had passed before she yawned and said she was going to bed. She climbed the stairs with deliberately heavy feet, and I laughed to myself at her theatrics.

Not quite ready to let her sleep, I settled into her rocking chair and waited for the door to open. All signs of her earlier tension gone, she grinned widely at me as she quickly crossed the room and came to sit in my lap. I rocked us silently while running my fingers through her silky hair and she sighed into my shoulder. After a few minutes, she peeked up at me through her lashes, and reached a finger out to trace the shadows under my eyes.

"I've been taking up too much of your time," she whispered.

"Not possible," I said firmly, kissing the top of her head.

"You've gone too long without hunting."

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"You should have gone last weekend, but you were babysitting me," she mumbled, pouting slightly.

"I was taking you for a long overdue visit with your mother, and I was happy to do so."

She looked at me skeptically and I rolled my eyes.

"If it would ease your worry, I'll go to the park for a few hours with Jasper and Emmett tomorrow."

She paused for a moment as if deciding something very important.

"Has Alice seen any sign of Victoria coming back to Forks?" she asked, a little more casually than I would have expected.

"No, there's no indication she's anywhere near here."

"Then it's settled. You're taking a real hunting trip tomorrow."

"Bella, there's no need..."

"Yes, there is. It's been a long time since you've gone somewhere besides the park, and I know you're tired of it. Besides, I've made up my mind, which means Alice has probably already told the guys about it, and I'm sure they're both very excited."

She looked at me defiantly, challenging me to argue with her logic. When I sighed and nodded, she smiled triumphantly and resumed her position curled up against me.

"Thank you," I finally breathed. I hugged her tightly to me, overcome by how loving and understanding she was.

"For what?" she whispered, tracing her fingers up and down my chest.

"For knowing me so well. For understanding what I need when even I don't." I leaned my face down to kiss her, and she melted into my touch. "Thank you for being you."

We held each other for a few more minutes, silent except for the sound of our breathing in unison. When she yawned again, I knew it was time to let her sleep. I carried her to the bed, and her arms never broke from around my neck. She scooted closer once we were laying down, and closed her eyes when I started humming to her.

"The earlier I leave, the sooner I can come back to you," I said softly, and she smiled into my chest.

"Go have fun. Bag a few mountain lions for me."

I laughed quietly as I resumed stroking her hair, and before long she was asleep. I listened to her dream, happy to hear she seemed far more relaxed than she had all week. When she drifted off into dreamless slumber, I carefully slid out from beneath her and wrapped her up in the quilt.

I glanced at a pile of stationary on her bedside table, and quickly scrolled a note for her. Something to remind her that even when I was away, my heart was always with her.

_I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me. Look after my heart – I've left it with you._

With a smile, I placed it on the pillow beside her, kissed her forehead softly, and left for what I hoped would be a very short trip.

_Back so soon? _Alice teased when I returned home. _I can't imagine why._

"Cute," I muttered as she gleefully bounded toward me. "I assume you've already informed Emmett and Jasper about the trip."

"Of course."

"It's making me really nervous, the idea of being so far out of town."

"This is a good thing. Bella's obviously not so worried that she's afraid to let you leave."

"I wish I didn't have to."

"I know, and Bella knows that too. But she also knows this is something you need, and she's more than happy to let you have some fun in the process. She's still somewhat amused, I'd even say fascinated, by the idea of you hunting," she smiled.

"And that doesn't bother you at all?" I asked incredulously.

"No. I think it's sweet. She loves you, and this is just another part of who you are." _And who she'll soon be._

It hadn't been intentional, that's simply how Alice thinks, but I growled at her nevertheless.

"Whoa, don't let the animal out quite yet. Save it for the grizzlies," Emmett said, smirking as came down the stairs. I ignored him, still glaring at Alice.

"Sorry," she mumbled, and I nodded with a deep sigh.

"You'll stay close by in case anything changes?" I asked her.

"Yes, I promise. And if she starts concocting more plans to visit the wolves, I'll take out another piece of her car."

"Thanks," I said, then turned to Emmett. "Is Jasper ready to go?"

"He actually took off about an hour ago. He dared us to catch up with him," he added with a snicker.

A huge grin broke out across my face, momentarily pushing my fears aside. "It's been awhile since I've run at full speed. You up for the challenge?"

"Always," he said, taking off without another word.

Alice smiled at me and gave my hand a quick squeeze. "Have fun, and try not to worry too much."

"I'll try."

"Now hurry up, Emmett's probably halfway across town by now."

"Ha! I'm just hanging back so I don't crush his ego _too _soon," I teased, and Alice flitted out of the room. I took another deep breath and darted out the back door, the speed and exhilaration hitting me almost instantly.

It wasn't long before I caught up with Emmett, and it was tempting to keep up my current speed and leave him behind. The surge of excitement as the trees blurred into a sea of green was wonderful, and it served to distract me – a welcome relief, even if only for a moment.

_No need to show off,_ Emmett thought as I raced past him. _The girlfriend's not here to watch._

Distraction gone. Thanks a lot, Emmett.

"I'm not showing off," I said, slowly my pace slightly. "It just feels good to be out again. For the first time in quite awhile, I wasn't thinking about anything at all."

_Hmm, Edward finally not over thinking everything. Please, don't let me hold you back. I'll catch up._

"No, it's fine. The moment's lost anyway."

We ran the rest of the way side by side, and in relative silence. Emmett tried to keep his mind on mundane things, then focused in on the hunt as we grew closer to our favorite spot. When we were about fifty miles away, we saw Jasper in the distance. Emmett and I smiled sideways at each other, and picked up our pace to an all out sprint, tackling Jasper a few moments later.

"Took you guys long enough," he said sarcastically as we all continued our run. "I was starting to think I was going to have the pick of the whole forest."

"Don't you think Edward should have first choice?" Emmett said, smirking at me. "After all, he's been cooped up in Forks longer than either of us."

"I'm not sure if self-exile gives him any special rights," Jasper said with a grin, and I lunged at him again. Just as he was jumping out of the way, we all stopped in our tracks. We could smell blood, and it was close. Suddenly, all the playful banter disappeared, and I could feel all of us tense in anticipation.

My jaw tightened as we took off in separate directions, each in search of our own favorite prey. It wasn't long before I'd come across a pair of mountain lions. Even with all the adrenaline and my senses focused on the kill, I felt a smile pull at my mouth as I remembered Bella's parting words to me. Her casual acceptance of my way of life, unbelievable as it may be, truly was a gift. It was with that thought that I attacked the smaller of the animals, the larger one taking off immediately. I saw that he was fast, and excitement welled up in me once again as I thought about the chase that would follow.

When I'd finished the first, I sprinted after the second, finding him in minutes. Feeling greedy, I found a third only miles away, and gorged myself as I hadn't been able to so for so long. All conscious thought escaped me until I heard Emmett chuckle from behind me.

"And they say I'm insatiable."

I took one final draw of blood, pushing the carcass aside as he walked over to me.

"Where's Jasper?"

"Oh, he's having a bit more fun than he should be. I'm pretty sure he's done hunting for the moment, but he was scaring a herd of elk last I saw."

"And you?"

"Grizzlies galore," he smiled. I attempted to return his enthusiasm, but with the thrill of the hunt no longer occupying my every thought, I found myself growing nervous again.

"Okay," he said, watching me curiously, "you just took down two mountain lions... "

"Three," I corrected.

"Fine, _three_, and you still look stressed. What's going on?"

I hesitated, wondering how much to say. I didn't want to burden him, although clearly he was already seeing right through me. I shrugged and tried to infuse my tone with a level of composure. "It's difficult to be away from Bella."

"Alice is keeping a close watch on her. And Carlisle and Esme are there too, looking out for her. You've got to relax."

"It's not only that, though." I took a breath and when I spoke again, I found my words were pouring out, fast and unstoppable. "Ever since she and Carlisle made their little _arrangement_, my whole perception of our relationship has changed. I can never just be with her, because I'm always aware that each minute we spend together is counting down to the end. It's like each one of her breaths are numbered. Every heartbeat is special, because I know they're running out. I don't want to be away from her, because every second I am means there's something I'm missing."

He stared at me for an endless moment, his thoughts jumping around from sympathy to confusion to frustration. Finally, he shook his head.

"I wish you wouldn't talk about her like she's dying."

I scoffed, glaring at him icily.

"Okay, yes, technically she is. But it's not like it's really the end. This is only the beginning. You two are going to have eternity together. I know you wish there was another way, but honestly, sometimes I don't understand what you're so upset about. Being with her forever is what you want. And Bella wants that, too."

"I know she does, but still..."

"No," he interrupted. "There's no but. You have to let her make her own choices. And she's chosen you." He paused for a moment, letting his words sink in. When I made no attempt to argue, he smiled and continued. "Besides, the whole family has accepted her and welcomed her in. Well, almost the whole family," he added under his breath. I cringed, but made myself ask the question which I was fairly confident I already knew the answer to.

"Does Rose..._talk_ about Bella a lot?" I asked warily.

"If by talk you mean complain, then yes. All the time."

"I know she has her reasons, but I wish she could find a way to at least be civil. Her thoughts can be pretty vicious, and it's hard to listen to her constant sarcasm and negativity when Bella comes over, and even worse to wonder what she's saying and thinking when we're not around."

"You can't let it get to you. All of us love Bella, and she's as much a part of our family as if Carlisle had already changed her." He watched me cautiously as I shuddered, then quickly continued. "Even with Rose, you've got to know it's not really anything personal. She just doesn't agree with the choice Bella is making."

"Neither do I," I growled, unable to hold it in.

"Then you of all people should understand," he said with more sincerity than I'd ever heard. "In her own strange way, Rose is trying to protect her. She doesn't want her to make a choice that can't be undone, and regret it for all eternity. Because she doesn't think there's anything she can do to stop her, she gets frustrated, and that comes out as anger toward Bella. That's the simplest explanation I can give you. Well, that and the fact that she thinks you're a complete moron. But you probably hear that all the time," he added wryly.

"Yeah, she's not exactly subtle." I shook my head, frustrated. "Do you think she's every going to get over it? Will she ever accept Bella, even if she can't accept the choice she's making?"

"Alice seems to think so. But as Rose has no immediate plans to start calling Bella 'dear little sister,' I think it's probably just Alice's unbridled optimism."

"Comforting," I mumbled.

"What are brothers for?"

We sat quietly, both lost in our own thoughts about the future. As we waited for Jasper to finish whatever game he was playing with the wildlife, another anxious feeling started to creep over me. Something felt wrong, and I suddenly wished Alice was there to assure me things were still okay back home.

"What's up?" Emmett asked, quirking an eyebrow at me.

"Something's not right. I should go back."

"Edward, you're being paranoid again. Alice told me not to let you freak out."

"I'm not freaking out. I'm just...I need to go."

"Hey Jazz," he called dramatically, staring at me with patronizing eyes. "Hunting trip's been cut short. Edward misses his girlfriend."

"Very mature," I muttered. "And I never said you two had to leave. You should stay. I was finished anyway."

"Sure you were," he said sarcastically. "Okay, we'll stay. But if I were you, I'd take my time getting home. You know Alice is going to give you a hard time about this. Have fun with that, by the way."

"Yeah, thanks," I said, rolling my eyes.

Just as he was trying to convince me to stay a little longer and join him for a duel attack, my cell phone went off. I looked down at it, feeling another swell of nerves when I saw Alice's name.

"What's wrong?" I answered.

"She disappeared again," she said, her voice shaking. "I thought she understood that the moment she crosses paths with those _animals_..."

"She's with the wolves?" I screamed, my thoughts racing at the trouble she could already be in. Emmett's eyes widened, and he nodded in understanding as I took off running.

"I didn't see her leave, but it's the only explanation," Alice continued as the trees blurred into a sea of green. "It must not have been premeditated, though. It all happened so fast. One second she was at work and the next, there was nothing. I went straight to Newton's, and they said she'd been given the day off. I went by her house and the truck was gone. She's down there, Edward, and neither one of us can do a thing about it."

"Why didn't you call me right away?" I asked desperately.

"I hoped I could catch her before she crossed the line. I'm so sorry."

I felt myself start to shake, fear taking over. She didn't have a cell phone so I couldn't call her, Alice couldn't see her, and neither of us could cross the boundary line to go get her. For a moment, I actually considered asking Charlie if he had any immediate plans to go visit Billy. Then I cringed as I realized Bella and Jacob weren't likely to be spending their day of freedom with Billy.

As I tried to picture what they were probably doing, each image grew progressively darker. A walk on the beach – that should be safe enough. Hanging out in his garage – it might bring back memories of the times they'd spent together when I'd been gone, but otherwise harmless. Riding their motorcycles – dangerous, although I knew she'd ridden before and Jacob had managed to keep her safe. Visiting with his friends – that's where my panic kicked in. Especially given the recent incident with the pack and my family, I couldn't be sure that one of them wouldn't see Bella as a threat, one of the enemies. The mere sight of her could ignite their rage and cloud their judgment.

"Alice, will you wait at the boundary line until I get home?"

"Of course, I'm on my way now. I'll take your car so it will be there for you when you get back."

"Thanks. Let me know if you see any sign of her coming home."

"I will. And Edward, she's going to be okay."

"I know," I said, wishing I really believed it. "She has to be."

"I'll see you soon?" she asked when I trailed off into silence.

"Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can."

I ran faster than I'd ever run before, and tried without success not to think about what I was running toward. Before I knew it, I was back in Forks, and the reality of the situation truly set in. As I neared the boundary line, I saw Alice leaning up against the Volvo, her eyes clenched shut in deep concentration. I slowed down to a stop and waited for her to look at me. When she did, her eyes were strained and troubled. I felt instantly guilty, realizing how difficult it was for her, trying to watch for things she couldn't see.

"I'm sorry," she said, frustrated and miserable.

"It's okay, I'm here now. Thanks for staying."

"What are you going to do?"

"Wait, I guess. What else can I do?"

"If you're all right here..." she started, still watching me apologetically.

"Yes, you should go home. I know how hard this is for you."

"Thanks," she smiled. "I'll call you if anything changes."

There was only one road from Forks down to La Push, and I sat right on the other side of the line, staring intently at it and silently pleading for Bella to hear me. Couldn't she feel what she was doing to me?

As hard as I tried, I couldn't stop my mind from assuming the worst. One of those beasts could have phased the moment they saw her – the girl in love with the vampire, part of the family whom they believed was the reason they'd been condemned to their fate.

I tried to remind myself that at least Jacob was remarkably in control for one so new to the existence, and the nature of his thoughts had showed me he truly believed Bella would always be safe with himself and the pack. But while he would always work to portray them as the heroes in this story, hints of the darker truth – what even he knew they were capable of – had a way of creeping in, and they solidified my fears.

Time seemed to stand still as I sat, waiting, wondering...


	5. Switzerland EPOV

A/N: Hi everyone, I'm back! So, sorry that after such a long wait this is a really short chapter. Originally I'd planned to take it further before posting, combine the next couple of chapters and fill in some of the Edward-less stuff, but that'll have to wait because...I really wanted to post this. For those who haven't checked my main page, I didn't want you to think I'd dropped off the face of the Earth. My husband and I welcomed our little girl, Aubrey Isabella, into our lives on August 30th!!! She's absolutely amazing, we are so very blessed. It's been a crazy few weeks, but things are settling down a bit now. We're starting to define our new routine, and I've been able to write a little bit during those (albeit _short_...) nap times. As promised, I'm not ditching out on Edward, but updates can't be as close together as when I was on bed rest. I'm hoping to at least get a chapter out every couple of weeks. It's nice to have a little grown up time to myself, but even when she's sleeping, it's hard not to just stare at my baby girl all the time. :) Thanks for being patient, and I hope you enjoy my quick "jumping back into things" chapter. I'm hoping for the best, but any errors or inconsistencies I'm gonna go ahead and blame on new mom brain...

BTW, if anyone wants to see pics of my little cutie, I'm on myspace (dot) com/violadreams. Yes, I've already taken about a thousand pics, and yes, I'm totally _that _parent. "Look at my baby girl!!!" (whips out photos and shows them to people I don't know...) :)

**Switzerland – EPOV**

I sat in my car, eyes fixed on the small road leading out of La Push. Time seemed to stand still. If she knew what she was doing to me, surely Bella wouldn't have pulled such a ridiculous stunt. Alice had told me it must have been a snap decision, in order for her to have disappeared so quickly. She wasn't thinking about me and all the times I'd warned her of the danger. She hadn't thought about how every moment I couldn't know whether or not she was safe ate away at my sanity. She'd left on a whim. She'd left to be with _him_...

Although I'd tried to deny it, in that moment, I realized I was in fact feeling the unsettling twinges of jealousy. I'd been trying to convince myself the only reason I didn't want her visiting La Push was her safety, and of course that was my primary concern, but as the seconds ticked by, I had to admit, at least to myself, that there was another emotion toying with me. Perhaps Bella didn't understand the full extent to which it tormented me when she went to where I couldn't protect her, but I was certain she had a vague idea. And in the end, her running away at the first opportunity made me wonder what kind of pull Jacob had over her. How desperately did she want to be with him that she could so callously cast my feelings aside, and put me through this misery?

The longer I sat, the harder it was to remember why it was necessary for me to simply wait. The sun blazing overhead was a fortunate reminder that waiting in the car was my only real option. If it had been nighttime, it would have been all too easy to convince myself that I could remain hidden – run to her, and watch from a distance, knowing I was close enough to intervene should it become necessary.

With each minute that passed, I grew more panicked, and eventually I began foolishly bargaining with myself.

_If she's not back by the time the sun sets, I'm going to find her, treaty or not. _

Such a dangerous place for my mind to go, and it was getting worse every minute. I could feel my resolve wavering as I stared at the empty road, helpless.

_Why wait for sundown? It's not like I have anything to hide. The wolves know what I am. If she's not back in an hour, I'm going after her._

Thankfully, as foot twitched toward the gas pedal, I head the familiar roar of Bella's engine. The relief that washed over me as she came into view trumped any feelings of jealously that had managed to creep in. All that mattered was that she was safe.

She'd always made it clear how aware of my presence she was, so admittedly, I was expecting her to see me right away and pull over. I was dumbfounded when her truck turned onto the road leading back to Forks, and I suddenly wondered if she'd seen me and chosen not to stop. I knew that my protective nature, and what she would consider unwarranted worry, often frustrated her. Though I didn't want to believe it, the unfalteringly steady speed she maintained all the way back into town only made me feel more certain she was avoiding me.

I stared into her rear view mirror, wishing she would glance back at me. I longed to see her eyes, needed to get some idea of what she was thinking and feeling. Frustrated yet again by her ever silent mind, it felt cruel for her to keep her gaze from me as well. Her eyes were often the only window I had into her thoughts, and she was keeping that window closed to me in this of all moments.

Her truck passed the turnoff to her house without slowing, and for a moment, I wondered if she was heading toward my house. A few blocks later, she pulled up next to the curb in front of a house I didn't recognize. Bella had been talking about her plans to help Angela with graduation announcements, so I assumed it was the Weber residence. As I drove past her parked truck, I tried unsuccessfully to convince myself she was merely keeping a promise to a friend, rather than purposely putting off talking to me. Still, as her eyes stared stubbornly downward, I couldn't help but feel her avoidance. It took everything in me to keep driving, but now that her safety was no longer a concern, I knew I didn't have the right to force her company.

I would check in with Alice, though of course she would already know Bella was safely back over the line. Then, I would wait for her to come home. If Bella asked me to leave, I would comply, but I hoped that being back within the comfort of her home, she would be willing to listen with an open mind, and she would finally understand why I couldn't allow her safety to be put at risk again.

Even I didn't believe it could ever be that simple.

I stood in the growing darkness of her room for what seemed like hours. I lost track of time, though I noticed the sun was beginning to set by the time I heard her truck roar to a stop outside. I forced myself not to listen to her conversation with Charlie, though somehow Jacob's name managed to pierce through my determined wall. My teeth clenched as the earlier feelings of jealously once again took hold. It was ridiculous, and I hated myself for allowing such a juvenile response, yet I couldn't stop the train of thought. Why, if she was as happy with me as she said she was, couldn't she seem to let him go?

Though I'd been worried Bella would be the irrational one, the longer I waited for her to come upstairs, the less rational my own thoughts became. The realization of what I'd almost done because of her rash decision came crashing in on me, and by the time Bella finally entered her room and looked me in the eye, it was all I could think about. She didn't take my concerns seriously, she'd chosen her own desire to visit Jacob over listening to my pleas against it, and it had nearly made me break the treaty my family had spent decades upholding.

"Hi," she whispered, and amid my staggering, racing thoughts, I couldn't find my voice to answer her.

"Er...so, I'm still alive," she continued, and I felt a growl boil up at her attempt at nonchalance. "No harm done," she added, shrugging casually.

Unfortunately, the moment she spoke the words, my overactive imagination pictured all the harm that could have been done. My eyes shut tightly and I watched my worst fears behind my eyelids.

"Bella," I said, desperate to find my way out of the nightmare and back into the present. "Do you have _any _idea how close I came to crossing the line today? To breaking the treaty and coming after you? Do you know what that would have meant?"

I heard her take in a sharp breath and I forced my gaze upon her again.

"You can't!" she gasped, her eyes panicked. "Edward, they'd use any excuse for a fight. They'd love that. You can't ever break the rules!"

"Maybe they aren't the only ones who would enjoy a fight," I spat, suddenly bombarded with images of finally getting to show those monsters what they were up against. They had no idea. If Jacob or any of those cretins he called friends ever caused her any harm...

"Don't you start," she said, breaking me from my thoughts. "You made the treaty – you stick to it."

"If he'd hurt you – "I started, but she wasn't in any mood to hear it. And honestly, I didn't really want to think about it any more myself.

"Enough! There's nothing to worry about. Jacob isn't dangerous."

"Bella," I said, rolling my eyes at her absurdity. She had no concept of danger when it came to her life. Countless afternoons spent in a house full of vampires, hunted by one who wants revenge, gallivanting with werewolves – just another day, nothing worth worrying about. "You aren't exactly the best judge of what is or isn't dangerous," I added dryly.

"I know I don't have to worry about Jake. And neither do you."

I felt my jaw tighten at the finality of her statement. It felt like it would never end. She was determined that there was no danger in her spending time with him, and she wasn't going to stop trying to convince me. Whether it was simply because she wanted to be able to spend time with him, or because she genuinely wanted me to accept him I couldn't be sure.

As Bella eyed me cautiously from across the room, I realized neither one of us had made any motion to move toward each other. Normally, she was in my arms within seconds of closing her door, and I suddenly felt pain – a longing, deep inside at the distance between us. It wasn't just the physical distance either, but the chasm the seemed to have opened up between us from the argument that appeared to have no solution.

As if feeling the distance as implicitly as I did in that moment, Bella began walking toward me, her eyes never leaving mine. Without a word, she pulled me into her embrace. It spoke volumes to how much the day had distressed me that I didn't immediately return the gesture, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if I would hold her too tightly, hurt her inadvertently from my desire to never let go.

The last rays of sun were pouring through her window, casting an ethereal glow that almost started to ease my concerns. In the sanctuary of her room, it was easier to push my fears aside. Still, the tighter she held me, the more I was reminded of my role as her protector. Why couldn't she let me play my part? I wished I could make her understand that when she took herself to where I could no longer watch over her, I was helpless and without purpose.

"I'm sorry I made you anxious," she said softly.

I felt my tension ease slightly with the sincerity of her tone. No longer able to stand the emptiness I felt not having her in my arms, I pulled her close and let myself breathe her in.

"_Anxious_ is a bit of an understatement. It was a very long day."

"You weren't supposed to know about it. I thought you'd be hunting longer."

I noticed her concerned glance up toward my eyes, and my short hunting trip suddenly felt like it had been much longer ago than the early hours of that morning. She'd been right before. It had been too long since my last hunt and I was far from satisfied. I also knew the stress of the day had made my eyes darken more quickly than they should have, and she was staring at me, concerned. She frowned, as if I'd had any choice but to come home.

"When Alice saw you disappear, I came back," I said simply.

"You shouldn't have done that. Now you'll have to go away again."

"I can wait." No thirst or pain could drive me away any time in the near future.

"That's ridiculous. I mean, I know she couldn't see me with Jacob, but you should have known – "

"But I didn't," I insisted. Even with Alice's subjective visions, I could never be truly sure Bella was all right, and without her vision, I was completely in the dark. "And you can't expect me to let you – "

"Oh, yes, I can," she said, irritation saturating her tone. "That's exactly what I expect – "

"This won't happen again."

"That's right! Because you're not going to overreact next time."

It was foolish to say it. Even as the words left my mouth, I knew they were only going to fuel her anger, yet I didn't seem to be able to stop myself. "Because there isn't going to be a next time."

"I understand when you have to leave, even if I don't like it – " she argued.

"That's not the same. I'm not risking my life."

"Neither am I."

Her eyes were fixed on me and her jaw was set. It was as if she were arguing the simplest of truths, confused as to why I couldn't be persuaded. She was holding stubbornly to her words exactly the way I was holding to mine. As we stood, silent and frozen, it all started to feel very futile.

"Werewolves constitute a risk," I said plainly, already braced for her rebuttal.

"I disagree."

"I'm not negotiating this, Bella." What would be the point?

"Neither am I."

I could feel the tension start to return to my body, the calming effects of having her in my arms slowly dissipating. I feared my voice would be too harsh, so I paused before speaking again, willing the frustration away. Unfortunately, she misread my silence, and allowed her own thoughts to wander. When she spoke again, her voice was colder somehow, and I wished we could go back in time.

I should have gone to her the moment she stepped into the room. I should have scooped her up and pulled her next to me on the bed. Though there were obviously things that needed to be discussed, the events of the day were too fresh. Perhaps we should have allowed a little time to pass before opening the floodgates.

"Is this really just about my safety?" she asked, trying to get me to admit to the truth I could still barely admit to myself.

"What do you mean?" I asked, buying myself a few seconds.

"You aren't...I mean, you know better than to be jealous, right?" she hedged.

As the words left her mouth, I tried to deny them, but the sinking feeling that washed over me didn't grant me any peace. "Do I?" I asked, watching and taking in her incredulous expression.

"Be serious," she nearly laughed.

"Easily – there's nothing remotely humorous about this."

"Or...is this something else altogether? Some vampires-and-werewolves-are-always-enemies nonsense? Is this just a testosterone-fueled – "

Though I was happy she seemed to have moved on quickly from the topic of my jealousy, the notion that there was something beyond even that infuriated me. Frustration crushed me again as I listened to her try to turn my efforts to keep her safe into some barbaric grudge I needed to settle. All efforts at keeping up a calm facade disappeared.

"This is _only _about you," I growled. "All I care is that you're safe."

I stared at her intently, searching for a sign that she understood. If she couldn't make herself believe this most undeniable of truths, how would she ever have enough faith in my intentions to allow me to protect her the way I needed to?

"Okay," she finally breathed, and her eyes instantly softened. "I believe that. But I want you to know something – when it comes to all this _enemies_ nonsense, I'm out. I am neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family."

I cringed slightly as I tried to comprehend the place he had in her life. Though I tried to block them out, familiar feelings of guilt began to settle over me. If I hadn't left, if I hadn't made my terrible mistake, she wouldn't have sought refuge in the worst of places. She considered him family, and when I remembered the images he'd forced me to see – the ways I'd broken her, the ways he'd saved her – I couldn't blame her for granting him that title.

"You are..." she continued, her eyes suddenly filled with more love than I thought I deserved, "well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence."

I was temporarily stunned at such a declaration in the midst of our argument. I almost spoke, but the determination quickly returned to her eyes. "I don't care who's a werewolf and who's a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too."

I watched her carefully, deciding how serious she was. And of course, since it was Bella, she was completely serious.

"Switzerland," she repeated. It really was that simple to her. This wasn't about werewolves and vampires, or even treaties and ancient rivalries. This was about the person she loved and the person she'd sought refuge in during my absence. Friends, _family. _ It was about her desire to keep us both in her life, no matter how impossible it seemed.

"Bella," I sighed, about to tell her how absurd she was. Then, as I stared into her pleading eyes, I realized how tired she was of fighting. In truth, I was tired too – not something I was used to feeling. I paused, wondering if there was anything I could say to end it at least for the moment, and took in a deep breath. I hadn't meant to, but I must have made a sour face.

"What now?" she asked.

"Well...don't be offended, but you smell like a dog," I said with a grin. Despite the insult, she smiled back at me before burying her face against my chest. She was my Bella again. It was if the day had never happened.

Unfortunately, my growing thirst over the following days also suggested the day had never happened, and another hunting trip was planned for Friday. Though disappointed, I couldn't say I was surprised when Alice approached me Wednesday evening. I'd left Bella's house only a few minutes earlier, and as I was parking my car at home, Alice flitted to my side.

"She's going to try to leave again," she sighed. "She's trying not to think about it too much, but I've been on high alert."

"Thanks," I said flatly, and she watched incredulously as I walked toward the house.

"You don't sound upset."

"Of course I'm upset. But I knew it was coming."

"Well, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." I shook my head, staring at the ground and willing the answer to come to me. "Alice, I can't fight with her anymore. It's wearing us both down. It's like we just keep going around in circles, stubborn and relentless, neither one of us willing to give in. Will she ever understand?"

"I wish I could answer that for you, but given the creatures in question, I don't exactly have that kind of insight." She smirked at me, trying to hide that fact that she was just as frustrated as I was.

"Carlisle isn't scheduled at the hospital tomorrow, so everyone wants to leave early. I don't even know if I can make myself go. I feel like I should stay, but if I do, she'll know it's only to keep her away from the wolves. Yet if I go, I risk having a repeat of last weekend, and I don't think I can handle that."

Alice closed her eyes for a brief moment, then smiled serenely at me. I quirked one eyebrow up.

"What?" I asked.

"The answer is yes, obviously. I've always wanted to have a slumber party," she grinned. "The only thing left is for you to make up your mind as to what exactly you're going to give me. Your first choice was nice, but where would I wear it? The second idea you had was wonderful, but Jasper's already getting it for me for Christmas. I'm hoping you end up leaning toward something a bit more...shiny. And fast."

I rolled my eyes. The plan had been rolling around in my mind since last weekend – a way to make sure Bella didn't make any more escape attempts during my necessary hunting trips. I knew Alice would be more than happy to keep Bella occupied, but it still seemed only fair to thank her properly. After all, when Bella realized what was going on, she'd take it out on Alice, likely ruining any chance of them having the type of weekend Alice was hoping for.

"Thanks," I said, wishing there was an easier way than kidnapping Bella to keep her safe.

"Don't worry about it. And don't worry about Bella either. She'll understand."

I eyed her skeptically.

"Eventually," she added, and I sighed deeply as I took off once again toward Bella's house.


	6. Temper EPOV

A/N: Good morning/afternoon/evening wherever you are, I hope your day is wonderful. Not much to say, life here is good. I have my little beauty sleeping in my arms (I typed about the last 500 words with one hand...that's how determined I was to finish this chapter!) Hope you like, there was lots to fill in. I even allowed myself a little Carlisle love. I do so enjoy letting him get all fatherly and concerned. Reviews are wonderful, so sorry I haven't been able to respond to them all personally like I used to. Aubrey's nap times are short, and I figured you'd all rather have me spend the time writing, but know that I read and appreciate them all!!!

Thanks also to shasta53 for helping with editing (me and OpenOffice are going to have a comma debate later...). Now go find a movie that doesn't make you need to bleach your brain. :)

**Temper – EPOV**

I knew Bella was going to be angry. I knew there was nothing I could say or do that would make her understand why I felt the need to take the precautions I was. I knew it, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to try everything in my power to make it up to her. That was why I was currently tucking bedding into an elaborately decorated bed, hoping she would be comfortable during her nights in my room, and that even in her anger, she might dream of me while I was away.

It was Thursday afternoon, and everything was set. All the things Bella would need were here, and Alice was officially on duty, ready to entertain and distract Bella as only she could. I'd been instructed to keep my cell phone turned off until I was already on my way home. Alice was persistent in her assurance that nothing would happen, and didn't want me wasting another hunting trip worrying about what was going on at home.

I obeyed diligently at first, but of course my nerves eventually got the better of me. When my family and I reached the edge of the California reserve, I turned my phone back on and saw I had two new messages. With a deep breath – and a reproachful glare from Jasper and Emmett – I ducked away to find out whether yet another weekend would have to be cut short.

"You are in trouble," Bella's voice spat from the recording. "Enormous trouble. Angry grizzly bears are going to look tame next to what is waiting for you at home."

A wide grin spread across my face. I hated that she was mad at me, but at least she was safe. There was also the fact that Bella was really adorable when she was trying to sound threatening. Next was a message from Alice that also made me smile.

"She's fine, Edward. Don't you trust your little sister? Now put your phone away and go hunt or I'll call Jazz and have him throw it into the lake."

As I was tucking the phone, still turned on, back into my pocket, I heard Jasper's voice behind me.

"She's not kidding," he said with a smirk.

"Fine," I sighed, turning it off reluctantly. I was about to protest, but fortunately at that moment, I caught the scent of a pair of mountain lions. I took off running, Jasper right behind me, and for a short time, the world and all my worries disappeared.

A few hours later, when my thirst was satisfied, reality started coming back to me. I worried about Bella, though I knew if I made any attempt to check my phone, it would be out of my hand and at the bottom of the lake in seconds. Trying to distract myself from what was presently going on, I started thinking once again about Bella's refusal to my proposal, and what it would mean for our future if I were to ask her again properly only to have her deny me a second time.

I knew we were from two completely different times. I understood that she was young, and scared. Logically, I could tell myself it made sense for her to be unready for such a huge, life-changing decision. The problem, however, was that she was so ready to throw away her humanity, and bind herself to this existence forever. That, compared to marriage, was a far greater commitment. It was making me start to doubt.

Was it possible that her desire to join our family was less about me and more about her glorified idea of immortality? She'd always shown an unnatural fascination with our way of life. Maybe I'd been flattering myself assuming I was the only reason. Hadn't humans always searched for eternal youth and a way to live forever?

I don't know how long I'd been frozen, staring off at nothing, but eventually Carlisle approached me and asked if there was anything I wanted to talk about. Jasper and Emmett had taken off after a family of grizzlies, and it was the first time on the trip we'd been alone. Though most of the time Carlisle spoke to me like an equal – a friend, a brother – there were times his voice took on a distinctly fatherly tone. In those times particularly, his love and concern for me were obvious, and I found myself speaking to him exactly as I imagined a son would to his father.

"I'm not sure where to begin," I said dismally.

"You looked like you were somewhere very far away. At first I assumed you were simply worrying about Bella, but then it started to look like something more. You know you can tell me anything, and I'll help in any way I can."

I hadn't intended to discuss it, but the words were out before I knew I was speaking.

"I asked Bella to marry me," I said softly, unsure of what his reaction would be. Really though, I shouldn't have been surprised.

"I know. Alice mentioned it."

"Of course she did," I said, feeling slightly embarrassed that more people knew about my ridiculous spontaneous proposal. Though he didn't say a word, I suddenly felt the need to defend myself. "That wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I'm planning on asking her again, properly this time."

"I know, and I'm sure it will be perfect. I also have no doubt that your love and devotion to Bella were apparent in your first attempt, even though the circumstances were not what you'd intended. I'm actually wondering right now if you aren't concerned over the wrong thing."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, it seems you're in a bit of a paradox. You're fighting so hard to keep Bella human, mortal, yet you expect her to pledge herself to you forever. You're offering Bella eternity, while simultaneously trying to keep her from it. Surely you can understand her hesitation."

"But I was agreeing to her condition. I was doing the unthinkable and offering to change her myself."

"You weren't happy about it."

"Of course I wasn't. I could never take her life from her gladly, willingly."

"And she knew that. You just said that the proposal wasn't how you'd intended it. If she'd accepted under those circumstances, she knows you would have spent the duration of your engagement buying yourself more time. She would have seen how miserable it was making you, and known that she was causing your unhappiness. She deserves more than that, doesn't she?"

There was something off about his voice, and I eyed him curiously. "Has Alice seen that?" I hedged, and he glanced toward the ground. "Does Alice see her saying yes and then worrying about me and my end of the bargain?"

He looked back up at me with a new severity in his eyes.

"Just promise me that when the time comes, you'll remember that she's making sacrifices for you, too. Nothing about this situation you two have found yourselves in should be taken lightly. Make sure you both know what you truly want, and what you're willing to give up. There's no sense in making each other miserable, agreeing to things you're not okay with"

I was about to ask for a slightly less cryptic explanation, but stopped when I heard Emmett's booming voice through the clearing.

"Are you guys still talking?" he called. Jasper came up behind him, laughing, and I realized their side trip had a secondary purpose. "Come on. More feast, less chatter," he said as Carlisle threw one more meaningful glance in my direction. Why did it suddenly feel like everyone else knew more than me?

We stayed out hunting all night, and well into the next day. When the sun started to set, we decided to head home, and as soon as we were running, my hand instinctively reached for my phone. I looked over at Jasper who rolled his eyes.

_Yes, you can check in now. Seriously, though, you have _got_ to learn to relax._

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw there were no new messages. I started to dial Alice's number to let her know we were on our way, when it started ringing.

"Don't be upset," Alice said before I'd even gotten out my "hello." Without thinking, I sped up my pace.

"What happened?" I asked anxiously.

"Bella's completely fine – "

"Yes, she is," I interrupted, my nerves making me more irritable than I probably should have been. "You've been with her the whole time as promised, right?"

"Mostly," she said guiltily, then her own irritation became apparent. "I swear that girl is pushing my level of patience to its breaking point. You thought _you _were close to crossing the line?"

"She went back to La Push again? How?"

"Well, I guess I can't place all the blame on Bella. That _mongrel_ showed up at school on a motorcycle and caught her off guard. I'd like to think she wouldn't have gone if she'd taken the time to think about how much it would upset both of us. But I think we both know that's probably not the case."

"Where is she now?" I growled.

"Relax. She's up in your room." Strangely, it sounded like she was smiling.

"Alice?"

"She wouldn't talk to me about it, but when she got back, she was looking less than thrilled about her little visit. I don't know what he did or said to her, but something tells me she won't be running off again any time soon."

As I let that sink in, my mood grew perceptibly lighter. Maybe there wasn't anything I could say to convince Bella to stay away from the wolves, but with their volatile nature and short tempers, I should have known it was only a matter of time before Jacob sabotaged himself. I was almost afraid to think of what could have happened, but I convinced myself that since Bella was safe, it really didn't matter. I would simply hope that whatever it was had made enough of an impact on her, I would no longer have to bribe Alice with trinkets while I was away.

"We'll be home soon," I told Alice, now smiling like I was sure she was.

"She'll be waiting," she said simply, and the phone clicked to silence. My pace grew impossibly faster as I thought of Bella, lying in bed, in my room.

_What's the big hurry? _Emmett thought as he struggled to keep up with me. _Bella in __trouble again?_

"No," I said, still grinning. "She went to La Push, but came back on her own, and apparently quite upset."

_That wolf of hers in an idiot._

"We already knew that," I grinned. "I'm just looking forward to finding out exactly how big of one he is."

I couldn't help but speculate about what Jacob or his pack had done, but since there was no way to know, I tried to put it out of my mind. Instead, I focused on what Carlisle had said earlier, as well as all of Alice's previous warnings to not try to make Bella's choices for her. If I was ever going to expect her to accept a marriage proposal from me, I knew I was going to have to start compromising.

It was still too difficult to think about willingly changing her, but there was one compromise I was starting to feel a bit more capable of making. Though I didn't yet have the details, clearly Bella was more than able to take herself away from a situation she didn't feel comfortable with. I could never trust the wolves, but perhaps it was time I tried having a little more faith in Bella. Maybe it was because a part of me wanted to believe she had no intention of going back to La Push, or it might have been a simple desire to end the fight we'd had so many times, but whatever the reason, I was finding myself more and more okay with the idea of not interfering with her visits.

Anxious to discuss it with Bella, I kept my quick pace and beat everyone home. I heard Alice's melancholy thoughts coming from the garage as I neared the house, and decided to check in with her first. I didn't want her thinking I was upset with her for having let Bella get away. It wasn't her fault. And though it was hard to believe, some good may have come from the incident.

"I'm not going to take the car away," I said as I entered the garage. She smiled widely at me just as my gaze drifted toward the motorcycle that sat in the corner. Her face went stoic as my eyes widened.

_Would you rather he'd brought her home on his bike? _she argued.

I sighed. "Of course not. Anyway, it doesn't matter, right? She's home safely."

"Exactly."

"Did she ever tell you what upset her?"

"No, she went straight up to your room and hasn't left all night."

"Thank you, Alice."

"For what?"

"For being concerned. And for doing everything in your power to keep her safe. I know it's not easy when she gets mixed up with the wolves. I understand how frustrating this weekend must have been for you. I want you to know I'm going to try my best not to ask anything like this of you again. I'm hoping there won't be a need at all, but if she does decide to forgive whatever happened down there, I'm going to attempt to stay out of it next time."

"Wow. Do you really think you'll be able to do that?"

"I have to try. I can't keep letting this come between Bella and I."

Alice nodded in approval, though her thoughts were as wary as mine.

I went inside, hurrying up the stairs toward my room, but was stopped in my tracks as I passed Rosalie and Emmett's room. Rose was waiting for Emmett to get home, and while she was as anxious as usual for his return, her primary thoughts were of something completely different.

_I've done everything I can. If she's stupid enough not to listen, it's her own fault. Can't blame me if she's miserable for eternity. No one can ever say I didn't warn her._

I wasn't surprised. Most of what she was thinking were things I'd grown used to since Bella had made her choice clear. Rose didn't agree, because if it had been up to her, she never would have chosen this life. I was about to walk away and leave her to her musings, when an unexpected thought found its way into the mix.

_Of course she's not thinking about children now. She's still a child herself. But she's an idiot for thinking Edward will always be enough for her._

I stopped, stunned. Though Rosalie's thoughts occasionally betrayed her normally secret desire to have a child, I hadn't realized she was worried that Bella would have the same regrets. It made sense, and of course I'd had that fear myself – it was just one more thing I'd be denying Bella by agreeing to take her life – but it was still strange to hear that particular concern come from Rose.

I felt somehow more voyeuristic than normal, listening to such private thoughts, so I quickly made my way up to my room and searched the bed for Bella's sleeping form, only to find it empty. I was surprised to hear her heart and breath coming from the couch I'd pushed aside. She was buried beneath the comforter I'd picked out, curled up in what I could only assume was defiance of my gift. I scooped her up gently in my arms and carried her over to the bed. She could be mad at me if she wanted, but there was no sense in her making herself uncomfortable, simply to prove a point.

I wrapped her up in the blankets and laid down beside her, happy when she unconsciously curled her body close to mine. She sighed in her sleep, her mouth twitching into an almost smile as she rested her cheek against my chest. I listened to her quiet, steady breaths, completely content, until she eventually turned away from me. It was as if even in sleep she was debating whether or not to forgive me.

I listened to her sleep, hoping she might give me some clue as to what had happened in La Push, but she remained silent. Curiosity was getting the better of me, yet I knew after she woke up, I wouldn't make any attempt to get her to talk until she was ready. For now, I would simply focus on the fact that she was here, safe, and at home with me. I only hoped her anger with me wouldn't hinder us from celebrating that fact.

It was something I'd longed for many times while I lay holding her in her room. It wasn't that I minded us staying there every night, but sometimes it was unsettling, knowing Charlie was so nearby, and blissfully unaware that his daughter no longer slept alone. Here in my house we didn't have to talk softly, or make sure I was gone by a certain time. She could wake up in my arms and let me hold her for as long as we wanted. I could sing to her while we watched the sun come up. It was everything I wanted, and not just for one night, but for every night.

I was once again reminded of all the reasons I wanted to make her my wife. There had never been anyone else and there would never be anyone else. Bella had given me a reason to exist, and I wanted her beside me every minute of every day. Even though the idea of what forever meant for her humanity terrified me, it was in every other way exactly what I'd wanted. Just as Carlisle had said, I'd found myself in a paradox, longing for the very thing I was so determined not to have.

After several hours lost in my own very confusing thoughts, Bella started to stir. She was was facing me again, though she was still on the opposite side of the bed. I was respecting the distance she'd put between us, though I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my embrace and never let go. She stretched and turned her body away, toward the window, then back back again before opening her eyes. I could see her perfectly, though I doubted she could even make out my shape in the darkness.

"Sorry," I whispered, not wanting to startle her. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Her hands fumbled toward me, and I reached my own out until she grasped them tightly and pulled herself close. She seemed to still be half asleep and I was waiting for her to remember her anger at any moment. Hoping to keep it at bay a little while longer, I hugged her to me and rocked her against my chest.

She began slowly kissing my throat and I nearly laughed as a shiver of pleasure washed over me. I'd been expecting her fury, and instead I was greeted with her soft, warm breath and loving kisses. Certainly I deserved none of it.

She continued kissing my face until her lips met my own, and it was like coming home. Nothing on Earth compared to that feeling. It almost made going away worth it if I was welcomed back like this. I reveled in the way she sighed and leaned into me, like she couldn't get close enough. It was the way I felt every time we were together.

When I finally made myself pull away, I laughed softly.

"I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, and this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often."

"Give me a minute to work up to it," she said, barely parting her lips from mine.

"I'll wait as long as you want," I said, just as unwilling as she was to allow any space between us. I held her close, loving the way her body fit perfectly against mine, and yet it still felt like we weren't close enough. My fingers reached up to tangle in her hair and I felt myself struggling not to hold her too tightly. Then I realized I wasn't the only one getting caught up in the moment

"Maybe in the morning," she nearly gasped.

"Whatever you prefer."

"Welcome home. I'm glad you came back," she said as I trailed kissed down her cheek and along her jaw. Her words only served to remind me where we were – we were home, both of us, together. I loved the way it sounded.

"That's a very good thing," I murmured, wondering if she knew what she was doing to me. I'd never fully realized exactly how much it meant to me to have her home with me. When I was at her house, I was a guest. When she was here, it was like she was where she'd always belonged. Bella had made no secret of how comfortable she felt in my house, and my family had already welcomed her in completely. All I wanted was to make it official, make her mine – my _family _– for all time.

As she hummed and sighed, breathing against my neck, all my well thought out restraint seemed to vanish. I could never hold her too tight – there was no such thing. We could never be too close – I would never get enough of her. I ached to be closer, even now as we were molded together, and I soon found my hand idly tracing down her arm, brushing her side and eliciting a slight shiver from her. I continued my path across her waist and down her leg until I was holding her calf in my hand. Without thinking, I pulled her leg up around me, the warmth of her body assaulting me as her breath caught. For an instant, I felt myself losing control, but I couldn't make myself care.

As my hand desperately held her to me, I forced myself to regain a measure of control. I smirked as my mouth found its way to her throat. It used to be only her blood that called to me, and now her entire body was testing me in new and wonderful ways. I forced my hand to relax so I didn't accidentally bruise her, then whispered against her skin.

"Not to bring on the ire prematurely, but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed that you object to?"

I quickly but cautiously rolled to one side and lifted Bella onto me, eager to feel her warmth against every inch of me. Her hair fell in long sweeps around her, and I held my hands on either side of her face in such a way that allowed me to continue kissing her throat. Her heart was racing and her breathing erratic, which only seemed to encourage me.

"The bed?" I repeated, smiling at her apparent inability to find words. "_I _think it's nice."

"It's unnecessary," she breathed as I guided her lips back to mine. She kissed me feverishly and in that instant, I wanted more than anything to feel her heart beating beneath me.

Slowly, gently, I rolled her over onto her back and positioned myself above her.

"That's debatable," I laughed softly. "This would be difficult on a couch."

Every second, I was carefully calculating how much weight I could put on her without hurting her. I could feel the heat radiating from her skin and her heart pounding under my chest. I wanted more, but how far could I push myself? I was already worried about crushing her, and I didn't dare hold her any tighter than I already was. I was overcome with a desire to taste her, and while that should have terrified me, I instead felt myself pressing my lips to hers again, then softly tracing them with the tip of my tongue. It was magnificent, and I began wondering why we'd never been like this before.

"Did you change your mind?" she asked.

Oh, right, that's why. I felt instantly remorseful as I realized I'd given her the wrong idea. If she knew how difficult it was to restrain myself, how my muscles were nearly trembling from having to hold back the strength with which I wanted to hold onto her, she wouldn't ask such a question. But she didn't know, or didn't fully understand, and I couldn't really expect her to. While she'd seen my strength on rare occasions, like so long ago in our meadow, she'd always believed my love for her would keep me from ever harming her. I wanted with everything in me to believe that, but her life was too precious to take such a risk.

I sighed, bracing myself for the disappointment I knew was I about to ignite in her, as I rolled us back onto our sides.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella. I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed you don't seem to like. Don't get carried away."

"Too late," she said softly, breaking my heart. How I longed to give her everything. "And I like the bed," she added, forcing a smile.

"Good," I said, returning her smile and pressing my lips to her forehead. "I do, too."

"But I still think it's unnecessary. If we're not going to get carried away, what's the point?"

I let out a long, deep breath, cursing myself for having let things go this far. She had too difficult a time drawing lines that needed to be drawn.

"For the hundredth time, Bella – it's too dangerous."

"I like danger," she said stubbornly. Instantly, I was reminded of her trips to La Push, and her naivety when it comes to her own safety. "I'll tell you what's dangerous," she continued. "I'm going to spontaneously combust one of these days – and you'll have no one but yourself to blame."

I knew she was trying to make a joke, but the guilt of the situation was getting to me and I reluctantly started to push her away.

"What are you doing?" she asked, holding onto me.

"Protecting you from combustion. If this is too much for you..."

"I can handle it," she said, wiggling her way back into my embrace. It probably wasn't smart, but I couldn't make myself fight her on it. Once I was holding her again, feeling her relax into me, I realized that even when I frustrated her, she would rather be close than have me pull away. It was a comforting feeling.

"I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression," I apologized. "I didn't mean to make you unhappy. That wasn't nice."

"Actually, it was very, very nice," she said slyly, her breath warming my icy skin. She was going to be my undoing. I felt that earlier sense of longing starting to take hold of me again, a desire, a _need _to be closer. Not wanting to blur the lines again, I took a breath to steady myself.

"Aren't you tired?" I asked, hoping futilely to distract her. "I should let you sleep."

"No, I'm not. I don't mind if you want to give me the wrong impression again."

"That's probably a bad idea. You're not the only one who gets carried away."

"Yes, I am," she muttered, scowling. _If only she knew_, I thought, laughing under my breath.

"You have no idea, Bella. It doesn't help that you are so eager to undermine my self-control, either."

"I'm not going to apologize for that."

"Can _I _apologize?" I asked, more than ready to change the subject. It was yet another argument that tended to go in circles with us, and I was looking forward to addressing the one that may have finally found its resolve.

"For what?"

"You were angry with me, remember?"

"Oh, that," she said, frowning slightly.

"I'm sorry. I was wrong. It's much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely _here_." She smiled as I hugged her tighter. "I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I don't think I'll go so far again. It's not worth it."

If there was any anger left in her, it disappeared with those words.

"Didn't you find any mountain lions?" she asked, grinning.

"Yes, I did, actually. Still not worth the anxiety. I'm sorry I had Alice hold you hostage, though. That was a bad idea."

"Yes," she said simply.

"I won't do it again," I promised.

"Okay. But slumber parties do have their advantages..." she smiled, pressing herself against me and kissing my neck.

"Mmm, I may take you up on that," I sighed, momentarily forgetting why stopping her was necessary. My head felt cloudy as her breath washed over me and my resolve started to waver.

"So is it my turn now?" she asked, pulling me abruptly from my wandering thoughts.

"Your turn?"

"To apologize."

"What do you have to apologize for?" I'd been expecting her to be furious with me, and instead I'd been met with nothing but understanding and affection. In my joy, it hadn't occurred to me that she was expecting me to be upset with her.

"Aren't you mad at me?" she asked, confused.

"No."

"Didn't you see Alice when you got home?" she asked, as if I was missing something obvious.

"Yes – why?"

"Are you going to take her Porsche back?"

Then I understood. Bella knew the exact details of our arrangement and she assumed I would accuse Alice of not upholding her part of the deal. Even if that were the case – and truthfully, I didn't blame Alice in the least – what would I gain by taking away something Alice loved? Honestly, I was going to buy it for her anyway. I would owe her for all eternity for bringing Bella to me in Volterra.

"Of course not," I assured her. "It was a gift."

"Don't you want to know what I did?" she asked.

Of course I did. It had been driving me crazy since I'd spoken to Alice on the phone. Still, I only wanted to know if Bella was ready to talk about it. I tried my best to appear nonchalant.

"I'm always interested in everything you do – but you don't have to tell me unless you want to."

"But I went to La Push," she said sheepishly.

"I know."

"And I ditched school."

"So did I."

I was determined not to allow her a moment of guilt over what had happened. It was over and done, and no harm had come from it. It had very possibly even given her a glimpse of what I'd been warning her about, and made her reluctant to return.

It looked like she was staring straight at me, though I wondered if her eyes had adjusted to the darkness yet. The way her fingers were searching the lines of my face made me feel like she was using them to try to read my expression.

"Where did all this tolerance come from?" she asked skeptically.

I felt remorseful yet again. I truly had been a tyrant, I thought with a sigh.

"I decided that you were right. My problem before was more about my...prejudice against werewolves than anything else. I'm going to try to be more reasonable and trust your judgment. If you say it's safe, then I'll believe you."

_Please say you don't think it's safe and that you're never going back..._

"Wow."

I felt my heart sink. As I waited hopefully for her to tell me the words I longed to hear – she'd had enough, she understood why it was best to stay away – I struggled to remember that even if she hadn't changed her mind, there was another reason for my compromise.

"And...most importantly...I'm not willing to let this drive a wedge between us."

Without another word, she laid her head back down on my chest, and I could feel her breathing steady. She was happy, and I had to believe that was all that mattered.

"So," I said, casually starting to fish for the most crucial piece of the puzzle. "Did you make plans to go back to La Push again soon?"

She didn't speak, and I could hear her heart start to speed up again. She didn't want to say the words out loud. I suddenly felt foolish to have thought that one bad day was enough to keep her from Jacob. Once again, I'd underestimated the place he had in her life.

Not wanting her to think I was going back on my words, I quickly added, "Just so that I can make my own plans. I don't want you to feel like you have to hurry back because I'm sitting around waiting for you."

"No," she said, a touch of sadness apparent in her tone. "I don't have plans to go back."

The curiosity was getting to me, but I didn't want to push her. I was honestly so thrilled to hear she wasn't planning a return trip, I didn't care if she kept the reason from me forever.

"Oh. You don't have to do that for me," I offered, though I knew it wasn't about me.

"I don't think I'm welcome anymore," she said, her voice soft and almost shaking. I was taken aback. I'd been assuming from Alice's description Bella had left because she was upset and wanted to get away. It never occurred to me she no longer felt wanted there.

"Did you run over someone's cat?" I teased, now wondering what she could have done to wear out her welcome. As far as I'd seen, Jacob was borderline obsessed with having her around.

"No," she said dismally. "I thought Jacob would have realized...I didn't think it would surprise him." She paused, as if what she was about to say was causing her physical pain. I was overcome with a sinking feeling, understanding what she meant before she'd finished explaining. "He wasn't expecting...that it was so soon."

"Ah," I breathed. Of course it made sense that Jacob would have gotten angry with her, when forced to think about her transformation. It was difficult for me to think about it, and it meant I got to be with her forever. How much more painful must it be for him? It means the end of whatever relationship they have – the end of hope.

He must have lashed out at her, though I assume he was still managing to hold onto enough control that it was only verbal. Though a part of me hated to admit it, I'd seen the purity of how Jacob cared for her. It would take a lot more than that to anger him enough to phase and risk hurting her. I watched Bella closely, her eyes close to tears, wondering what he'd said to cause her so much grief.

"He said he'd rather see me dead," she finally said. Her voice cracked, her expression cold and miserable. Although I thought I'd feel nothing but grateful for whatever Jacob had done to push her away, in that instant I could only hate him for causing her such pain. I wanted to rip him apart for being so selfish, so infantile.

I pulled Bella close, holding her and trying to make the agony go away.

"I'm so sorry," I breathed, pressing my lips to the top of her head.

"I thought you'd be glad." There was a hint of bitterness in her voice, though I couldn't tell if it was directed at myself or Jacob.

"Glad over something that hurt you? I don't think so Bella."

I could feel some of the tension in her body dissipate as she nuzzled closer to me, seemingly relieved by my response, though I couldn't imagine how she could have thought any differently. Did she really think me selfish enough to wish that kind of pain on her, simply to rid myself of that cretin? I could think of a much better way to rid us of him entirely, but I doubted if Bella could ever be that angry with him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, pulling me from that thought – which was probably a good thing.

"It's nothing," I said, not wanting to upset her further.

"You can tell me."

I debated, curious what her reaction would be. "It might make you angry," I warned.

"I still want to know."

I sighed. She left me no choice. Bella was never very good at letting things go.

"I could quite literally kill him for saying that to you. I _want _to."

To my great surprise, she laughed, though I could tell she was slightly uncomfortable. I hoped she knew me well enough to know I would never act on the thought – at least, not without her permission.

"I guess it's a good thing you've got so much self-control."

"I could slip," I offered. Just say the word...

To my surprise, her voice, her entire mood, suddenly shifted. "If you're going to have a lapse in control, I can think of a better place for it," she said sweetly, touching my face and attempting to kiss me. Worried that my self-control had already been pushed to its limit once today, I stopped her before she could start again.

"Must I always be the responsible one?" I asked.

My words did nothing to deter her. She was a woman on a mission.

"No," she said, smiling widely up at me. "Let me be in charge of responsibility for a few minutes...or hours."

"Goodnight, Bella," I insisted, though I knew she wasn't thinking at all about sleep.

"Wait – there was something else I wanted to ask you about."

"What's that?"

"I was talking to Rosalie last night..."

I breathed in deeply, frozen in place. I didn't know if I was up for this discussion. While a part of me hoped Rosalie's words had gotten through to her, given her a reason to reconsider her decision, I was equally terrified of what that would mean if it were true. Perhaps Rose was right, Bella hadn't really been thinking of all she was giving up. What if now that she was forced to think about it, she realized she couldn't give up the possibility of having children? The thought might save her humanity, but it could also cost me her love and dedication. It was something I would never be able to give her. The thought made me loathe my existence more than I'd felt in a long time.

"Yes," I finally said, preparing myself for whatever was about to be said. "She was thinking about that when I got in. She gave you quite a lot to consider, didn't she?"

"She told me a little bit...about the time your family lived in Denali."

Baffled, I tried to quickly sift through what I'd heard, but whatever Rose had said about Denali was no longer on her mind when I got home.

"Yes?" I prompted.

"She mentioned something about a bunch of female vampires...and you."

Oh, no. I did not want to have this conversation. Being stuck in an endless existence has a few down sides no one really wants to think about – like _literally _never living down humiliating moments. Not that I'd done anything particularly inexcusable, but the situation with Tanya's clan was not something I wanted to be reminded of. Ever. Least of all by Rosalie.

"Don't worry," Bella said, attempting to sound casual. "She told me you didn't...show any preference. But I was just wondering, you know, if any of _them_ had. Shown a preference for you, I mean."

It was like I was there again, being bombarded by their lust filled thoughts, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't block out the memories. Irina and Kate were more discreet than Tanya, never making their intentions known out loud. They were actually quite embarrassed when they learned I could hear them. Tanya however...well, subtle was never her style.

"Which one?" Bella asked when I remained silent. "Or was there more than one?"

I knew it was unfair, not saying anything, letting her think the worst, but I was finding it nearly impossible to form the words. Especially since thinking of Tanya had also reminded me of one of the darkest times in my life. Right after I'd first caught Bella's scent and I had fled like the coward I was, I'd made the mistake of returning to Denali. I'd given Tanya the wrong impression and felt miserable for it.

_I'm not used to rejection, _she'd said dejectedly, then proceeded to let her mind wander freely through her thousands of lovers. It was meant to make me want her, but instead it had made me feel insignificant. Even if I had been interested, what would I have been to her? One grain of sand on the beach, one star in the endless night sky. I'd never considered myself vain, but surely I was worth more than that. Didn't I deserve better?

"Alice will tell me," Bella said, making me realize I still hadn't spoken a word out loud. "I'll go ask her right now."

I held her close, the thought of her talking to Alice about it making me nervous. Knowing her, she'd probably make some ridiculous joke that Bella would take too seriously, and it would make her more self conscious than she already was. There was no need. Bella was the only one I'd ever wanted.

"It's late," I said, internally cursing Rosalie for having brought it up to begin with. "Besides, I think Alice stepped out..."

"It's bad," she said, her heart starting to race. "It's really bad, isn't it?"

"Calm down, Bella. You're being absurd." She sounded so distressed, I wondered how far her mind had already taken it. I thought I'd made it clear there had never been anyone before her, but she seemed almost panicked.

"Am I?" she asked, eyes wide and nervous. "Then why won't you tell me?"

"Because there's nothing to tell," I said sincerely. "You're blowing this wildly out of proportion."

"Which one?" she persisted.

I let out a deep sigh. I couldn't believe I was being forced to justify a situation in which nothing had actually happened. Besides, the _nothing _had been long before I'd even laid eyes on Bella. Fortunately, I'd started to learn how crazy the emotion of jealously can make a person – otherwise I would have started to doubt Bella's sanity.

"Tanya expressed a little interest," I said in an overly uninterested tone. "I let her know, in a very courteous, gentlemanly fashion, that I did not return that interest. End of story."

If only it could have been, but Bella was persistent.

"Tell me something – what does Tanya look like?"

"Just like the rest of us – white skin, gold eyes," I said calmly.

"And, of course, extraordinarily beautiful." I could hear the hurt behind her words. She still didn't regard herself as beautiful, no matter the number of times I'd told her, _showed _her how amazing she was.

"I suppose, to human eyes," I said. Yes, Tanya was beautiful in her own way, but I'd had the advantage of seeing into her mind. It was not nearly as inviting as her outward facade, and that had a way of marring my image of her. Though I tried not to hold Tanya or her sister's pasts against them, it was difficult to see beyond the slaughters of the earlier years of their existence.

I smiled then, as I stared at the woman who'd finally awoken my sleeping heart. It was hard to imagine anyone purer or more selfless. Bella was truly Tanya's opposite in nearly every conceivable way.

"You know what, though?" I asked.

"What?" she muttered.

I leaned in closer, laughing lightly at her indignant expression. If it took the rest of forever to prove it to her, I vowed one day she would understand that no one, human or vampire, could ever hold a candle to her.

When my mouth found the soft skin at the base of her ears, I whispered, "I prefer brunettes."

"She's a blonde. That figures," she sighed, ridiculously still worrying though I was cherishing her, _worshiping_ her with my lips.

"Strawberry blonde – not at all my type," I assured her, continuing to trail soft kisses across her cheek and over every inch of her perfect skin I could find. When I reached the base of her neck, I breathed her in reverently, smiling as I waited for her to accept my promises. It was fine – she could take her time. I was perfectly happy discovering new ways of showing her.

After several minutes, when her blood was racing so fast her skin was actually warming my icy lips, she finally spoke. I loved the way the words came out shaky and breathless.

"I _guess_ that's okay, then," she said hesitantly, making me smile again in the darkness.

"Hmm," I said softly, letting my breath cool her heated skin. "You're quite adorable when you're jealous. It's surprisingly enjoyable."

I almost felt guilty for the sour expression my words elicited.

"It's late," I whispered, ready to let her drift back into the quiet sanctity of sleep. I hoped that now, with so much discussed and resolved, her dreams would be peaceful. "Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love."

I could feel her contentment as I began humming softly. She scooted her body against mine, pressing her cheek into my chest with a sigh. As her breathing steadied and her eyes started to flutter, I let my thoughts wander back to that which I longed for most – to be here, like this forever. My life, my love.

My wife.

Would she ever want the same things as I did? Would she ever understand the ways in which she would complete me if she'd only say yes?

As the hours passed and the light of morning crept in through the window, she began to murmur in her sleep. I traced her cheekbones lightly, then let my fingers run through her silky hair. Talk to me, my love...

"Mine," she whispered.

I smiled. "Always. I am yours."


	7. Target EPOV

A/N: Hi again, sorry for the rather long time between updates. Busy couple of weeks … my husband was out of town a lot so I was often on full time baby duty. Aubrey's finding herself more and more awake these days, and doesn't seem to like my attention being anywhere but on her. :) Hope everyone is good and enjoys this next installment. Your reviews make me smile!

Thanks again to shasta53 for helping catch my sleep deprivation induced typos!

**Target – EPOV**

The sun filtered in through the window, catching Bella's hair and making it look almost golden. She was radiant in the morning light, and though I'd told her a thousand times how gorgeous she was, I wondered if she would ever truly believe me.

"Good morning," I whispered when she started to stir.

"_Very _good," she mumbled, tightening her grip on me, still half asleep.

I ran my fingers gently through her hair as her eyes fluttered open and struggled to focus.

"There's no hurry," I told her, not quite ready to let go yet. "It's still early."

"I know, but I feel kind of bad having left Charlie alone the past two days."

"He was alone every day before you came. I'm pretty sure he can take care of himself."

I was trying not to be paranoid, but something told me there was another reason she was anxious to get home. Was she hoping Jacob would have called to apologize? And if he hadn't, would she try to contact him, eager to make amends? As hard as it was, I tried to push those thoughts aside, reminding myself I'd promised to stay out of it.

"I still think I should get back. Besides, you'll be coming over soon, right?"

"Of course. I'll be right behind Alice. But, in keeping up appearances, I'll wait a respectable amount of time before coming in. How does five minutes sound?" I asked, winking at her.

She laughed, stretching up to kiss me.

_Everyone decent in there?_ Alice teased, her footsteps right outside my door. _Jasper said the energy was feeling a bit... charged last night._

I sighed, reluctantly pulling away from Bella's kiss.

"Come in, Alice," I said dryly. Bella's eyes widened and she blushed, scrambling to put a bit of space between us as Alice opened the door.

"Relax," she laughed as she stepped inside. _Doesn't she know yet that there really is no such thing as privacy in this house?_

I growled, too low for Bella to hear, and Alice rolled her eyes.

"I figured I'd be driving you home today, Bella, since Edward's technically not supposed to be home yet."

"Yes, thank you. I'm ready whenever you are," she said, then turned to me and added, "see you soon?"

"Not soon enough," I said, kissing her forehead.

I waited about ten minutes before heading out, wanting to give Bella at least some time with Charlie. When I arrived, I heard the TV on in the living room. I sighed. So much for father-daughter bonding time.

Just as I reached up to ring the doorbell, I realized something wasn't right. I caught an unfamiliar scent and my hands clenched into fists as Bella opened the door. The scent was even stronger inside the house.

"Edward? What –?" she started to ask, but I quickly interrupted, needing to know what was happening before panicking her.

"Give me two seconds. Don't move."

I ran silently past Charlie, up the stairs and to her room, horrified that the scent was stronger there than the rest of the house. Another vampire had been there, and it seemed they were the most interested in Bella.

My first thought was that Victoria had managed to come back into town undetected, but I'd tracked her before, and the unfamiliarity of the scent suggested someone else. It could easily be a member of the Volturi checking up on Bella, and if that was the case, they would be less than ecstatic about the fact that she was still human. It didn't seem likely, however, because I doubted Alice could have missed something like that. She'd been keeping a close watch on them, and as far as we knew, they had made no plans to visit us.

I made a quick circuit through the rest of the house. The scent was present, though more subtle, in Charlie's room, and it was only then that I realized the impossibility of him being alive right now. It added to my suspicion that it was one of the Volturi. They would have wanted to keep a low profile and they most likely would have resisted the urge to kill him. If it had been anyone else, I couldn't imagine them leaving him alive.

I raced back to Bella's side, hating the nervous look on her face. I was afraid to tell her my suspicions, knowing the conclusion it would lead her to. She was already in such a hurry to be changed, if she thought she – not to mention Charlie – were in danger because she was human, there would be no stopping her.

I pulled Bella close to me, protecting her though I knew the immediate threat was long gone. I led her into the kitchen, scanning every inch of the room as if someone was going to jump out at us.

"Someone's been here," I whispered, worried Charlie might be eavesdropping on our conversation.

"I swear that no werewolves – " she started. For once I wished it _had _been the wolves.

"Not one one them," I said, looking meaningfully into her eyes. "One of us."

I was horrified, watching the sick look on her face as the fear set in.

"Victoria?" she gasped.

"It's not a scent I recognize."

"One of the Volturi," she said. It sounded more like a statement than a question.

"Probably."

She relaxed infinitesimally. The idea seemed slightly less terrifying to her than that of Victoria, which made me wonder if she had somehow blocked out the atrocities she'd witnessed in Italy. The Volturi were every bit as great of a threat to her as Victoria.

"When?" she asked.

"That's why I think it must have been them – it wasn't long ago, easily this morning while Charlie was sleeping. And whoever it was didn't touch him, so there must have been another purpose."

"Looking for me."

Her expression remained surprisingly calm, though her racing heart betrayed her terror. I cursed myself for having once again brought such horrors into her life. No one should have to live in fear for their life, and because of me, this was becoming an all too common worry. I stared at her, wishing more than anything that I could shield her from worry and pain, but knowing there was no way. At least not while she was human...

"What are you two hissing about in there?" Charlie's voice pulled me abruptly from my unwanted thoughts. I felt like a monster for having let it cross my mind – dooming her to this life could never be considered _protecting_ her.

Bella's eyes, wide with fear, stared at Charlie as if she wanted to scream. I knew that look. It was the same look she'd had when she'd first been tracked by James and I'd tried to take her away from Charlie. She was scared for his life, so much so that, for the moment, concern for her own safety completely vanished.

Charlie misread her expression and broke into a smile.

"If you two are having a fight...well, don't let me interrupt."

Bella remained frozen as he left the room, and as I listened to her frantic breathing, I knew I couldn't stand for her to be in the house a moment longer. Her once seemingly safe home now felt tainted, and I hated myself all the more for it. I had to get her out.

"Let's go," I said, knowing what was coming next.

"But Charlie!" she protested. A second later, I had my phone out and was dialing. I'd been given no warning, so obviously Alice had missed whoever this intruder was, but I hoped that by now she had some idea of what was going on. If she had seen something, I was sure she would have already enlisted Emmett and Jasper's help in checking the area.

"Hey, what's going on?" Emmett answered, far too relaxed. Clearly, they were all still in the dark.

"Emmett," I said, then spoke quickly, not wanting Bella to hear any more than she needed to. "Alice missed something. A vampire, probably one of the Volturi, was here in Bella's room. I need to get her out of here, but she's afraid for Charlie. Can you and Jasper make a quick circuit through the woods around her house, then hang around for a bit while I talk to Alice?"

"Of course. Is Bella okay?" I appreciated the sincere concern in his voice. He truly looked at Bella like she was his little sister, and it meant a lot to me that even with Rosalie's opposition, he had accepted her into our family completely.

"She's okay, just shaken up. We'll both feel better when we've spoken with Alice. Hopefully she knows what this is all about. I'll talk to you later."

"No problem. Tell her not to worry about Charlie. We'll keep him safe."

The line went dead and I reached out to take Bella's arm. It was a struggle to stay calm, and I could feel her hesitation as I started walking toward the door. What I really wanted to do was pull her onto my back and run as fast as I could back to my house, though I didn't think Charlie was quite distracted enough not to notice us fly past him.

"Emmett and Jasper are on their way," I promised her, pleading with my eyes. "They'll sweep the woods. Charlie is fine."

Bella was eying me skeptically, but I felt her relax slightly beneath my touch. Although she was scared for Charlie, I could also tell she wasn't entirely comfortable being in the house. I walked us hastily to the door, and Bella looked at him, unable to hide the panic she was feeling. Charlie's muddled thoughts shifted from excitement to confusion as he took in the scene, but we didn't have time to stop and make up excuses.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked quietly, although we were well out of Charlie's hearing range.

"We're going to talk to Alice."

"You think maybe she saw something?"

"Maybe," I said, trying to force my voice to remain steady. It was difficult for me to admit even to myself how upset I was with Alice.

She'd been so confident, nearly cocky really, about how finely tuned her senses were when it came to watching Bella. She'd told me once that it was the clearest she'd ever seen a human, and though she'd refrained from saying it out loud, I'd heard the rest of her thought. Bella was almost as easy to see as a vampire, because she was already so familiar and accepting of our lifestyle, so ready to be a part of it. As upset as it had made me, I'd at least been able to take comfort in knowing Bella's future was in clear focus for Alice. So where was that clear picture now?

We arrived at my house a few minutes later. Emmett and Jasper were already gone, but the rest of my family stood waiting just inside the door. My eyes went instantly to Alice, eager to demand an explanation for how a vampire was allowed to get into Bella's room when she was supposedly on the lookout. Carlisle took one look at my expression and his thoughts were immediately reproachful.

_Calmly, Edward, this isn't her fault. She already feels bad enough. Please remember, she can't see everything all at once._

But I was already gone, frustration and fear having overtaken rational thought.

"What happened?" I growled, glaring at her unmoving posture.

"I have no idea," she said softly, eyes fixed on mine. "I didn't see anything."

"How is that _possible_?"

"Edward," Bella whispered, shocked. She didn't often hear me angry.

"It's not an exact science, Edward," Carlisle said, this time out loud, making sure he had my full attention. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, partly because I was transfixed by the ire in Alice's usually loving eyes, and partly because I didn't want to see the disapproval I was sure was in Carlisle's.

"He was in her _room,_ Alice. He could have still been there – waiting for her."

"I would have seen that." _Give me some credit here. That would have affected her future and I wouldn't have missed that._

I cringed. By "affected her future," she might as well have said destroyed it.

"Really? You're sure?" I spat.

_This is bordering on humiliating, Edward, and I don't deserve it, _she thought icily.

"You've already got me watching the Volturi's decisions, watching for Victoria's return, watching Bella's every step. You want to add another? Do I just have to watch Charlie, or Bella's room, or the house, or the whole street, too? Edward, if I try to do too much, things are going to start slipping through the cracks."

"It looks like they already are," I said coldly.

"She was never in any danger. There was nothing to see." _Everything about her future is exactly as it was. Everything, _she added again for emphasis.A tiny smirk tugged at her mouth, and I spoke quickly to block out the image I was sure was about to back up _that _assurance.

"If you're watching Italy, why didn't you see them send – "

"I don't think it's them. I would have seen that."

"Who else would leave Charlie alive?"

I felt Bella's breath catch and she started to shake. It wasn't something she wanted to think about, but of course she knew it was true. A random rogue vampire wouldn't have thought twice about taking Charlie's life. All alone in the middle of the night, evidence so easily disposed of.

The Volturi, however, were all about keeping a low profile, and they wouldn't want to burn any bridges, especially where our family was concerned. They would have made sure that whomever they'd sent was well fed and in complete control. If this intruder was indeed one of them, Charlie had never been in any danger.

I watched as Alice quickly sifted through image after image, trying to find any clue, anything we might have missed, but there was nothing. For the first time since I'd arrived home, her voice softened and she sounded genuinely apologetic.

"I don't know," she said sadly.

"Helpful," I muttered.

"Stop it, Edward," Bella chided. I looked down at her, and it was less than a second before the guilt hit me. She'd been the one in danger, yet she would never blame Alice – or _anyone _for that matter – for circumstances that were clearly out of our control.

"You're right, Bella. I'm sorry." As soon as I'd said it, I knew she wanted my apology directed elsewhere. I turned to Alice, full of remorse. "Forgive me, Alice. I shouldn't be taking this out on you. That was inexcusable."

"I understand. I'm not happy about it, either." _And I promise I'll keep an even closer watch until we know exactly what we're up against, _she added silently, likely not wanting to frighten Bella further.

"Okay," I said, promising myself to remain as rational and pragmatic as possible. The last thing Bella needed was to see how fearful I was about the situation. The best thing we could do for her at this precise moment was to let her know she was protected. "Let's look at this logically. What are the possibilities?"

_She's being tracked again. Can't keep herself out of trouble for five minutes, _Rosalie thought icily.

_Another coven spontaneously decided to pass through the town and happened to catch her scent, _Alice thought, searching for a reason she didn't see them coming.

_Poor dear, it must be terrifying knowing someone was in her home._

Esme's motherly kindness and concern took over her every thought, and I led Bella to the couch to sit beside her. She put her arm lovingly around Bella's shoulder while I held Bella's hands tightly in mine, careful not to crush her but feeling a desperate desire to hold her closer.

"Victoria?" Carlisle asked as I sifted through everyone's thoughts, trying to find something I hadn't already considered.

"No. I didn't know the scent. He might have been from the Volturi, someone I've never met..."

Alice was quick to interject. "Aro hasn't asked anyone to look for her yet. I _will _see that. I'm waiting for it."

That was when it hit me. The reason one of them could have slipped through Alice's radar. She was watching for the wrong thing.

"You're watching for an official command?"

"You think someone's acting on their own? Why?"

The Volturi presented a united front on the surface, but I'd had the opportunity to look into their minds. It was fascinating the way Aro simply assumed the others would follow him blindly, yet the more I heard, the more I realized that some of their loyalties were holding on by a very thin thread.

"Caius's idea," I said, remembering the way he'd been virtually ready to strike Alice and I down when we refused to join them. And Bella … I was appalled at how quickly he had decided she must be destroyed.

"Or Jane's ..." Alice added. "They both have the resources to send an unfamiliar face... "

"And the motivation." I felt my fists clench as I thought back to Jane's hate-filled mind. She was drunk with the power, and willing to do whatever was necessary to hold onto her place of honor at Aro's side.

From the moment Aro made his proposition to us she was furious, under the impression that adding Alice and my talents to the mix would diminish her importance in his eyes. Then, when she heard Aro discussing the possibilities of Bella's future powers, should she be changed and choose to join them, a new wave of hatred took over. Her fury was fueled even more by the fact that her particular talent had absolutely no effect on Bella.

Esme's words broke into my thoughts and I forced myself to relax, reminding myself of the necessity of keeping a cool head.

"It doesn't make sense, though," she said, her arm still around Bella. "If whoever it was meant to wait for Bella, Alice would have seen that. He – or she – had no intention of hurting Bella. Or Charlie, for that matter."

Bella went rigid at my side.

"It's going to be fine, Bella," Esme said soothingly.

"But what was the point then?" Carlisle said, mostly to himself.

"Checking to see if I'm still human?" Bella asked, her voice surprisingly steady, like it was a valid reason for them to have made a visit. I chose not to dwell on that.

"Possible," Carlisle said. Then he glanced at me so quickly I was sure Bella hadn't seen. _We may have less time than we think._

My eyes widened, but before I had time to let the panic truly take over, Rosalie's bitter mind distracted me.

_Idiot's already made her choice, might as well get it over with and be done with it. Then they can go run off to wherever it is they're going and leave the rest of us alone. So ridiculous … constantly on the lookout … don't know how Alice can stand it …_

As she launched into a string of incoherent insults, I felt miserable and hopeless. Rosalie, my one strange but sure partner in the battle to keep Bella human, had finally given up. Even she was tired of the fight, ready to give in for the sake of convenience.

As my thoughts grew more dejected by the second, Emmett and Jasper came running into the house.

"Long gone, hours ago," Emmett said, adding a silent apology to me. "The trail went East, then South, and disappeared on a side road. Had a car waiting."

"That's bad luck," I said under my breath as an image of the wolf pack tearing the menace limb from limb filled my mind. "If he'd gone west … well, it would be nice for those dogs to make themselves useful."

Bella's breath caught and I saw her shake. She was worried about her friends being in danger because of her, just like she worried when my family took on James last year. One vampire posed no threat to a coven our size, or a pack like the one Jacob ran with. Would she ever realize that she was the only fragile, breakable one in the picture?

"Neither of us recognized him," Jasper said. "But here. Maybe you know the scent." He handed Carlisle a piece of greenery, but when he smelled it, he shook his head dismally.

"No. Not familiar. No one I've ever met."

"Perhaps we're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe it's a coincidence ..." Esme started to say.

Everyone's thoughts turned instantly skeptical – all except for Carlisle who was filled with nothing but love and admiration.

_My love, the eternal optimist … _

"I don't mean a coincidence that a stranger happened to pick Bella's house to visit at random," she amended, taking in the expressions around her. "I meant that maybe someone was just curious. Our scent is all around her. Was he wondering what draws us there?"

"Why wouldn't he just come here then?" Emmett asked, eyebrow raised. "If he was just curious?" To Emmett, everyone in the world had a tendency to make things more complicated than they needed to be.

_That's my boy, _Esme thought with a grin.

"You would," she said. "The rest of us aren't always so direct. Our family is very large – he or she might be frightened. But Charlie wasn't harmed. This doesn't have to be an enemy."

_Please, Edward, for your sake and for Bella's, try to relax. Don't always assume the worst, _she silently pleaded. Carlisle was still watching her, awe in his eyes and his thoughts, while the rest of us pondered the possibility.

It wasn't completely out of the question. With Bella's luck, and her being so prone to dangerous situations, it would just figure that yet another random vampire would decide to take an interest in her. Not that that made me feel any better about the situation. If anything, it added an element of uncertainty that made me impossibly _more _nervous. At least if it was Victoria or one of the Volturi, we knew what we were up against. What if this was another tracker like James? What if he already had Bella's scent in his head and was looking for her right now?

I suddenly realized Alice was watching me indignantly.

_I see that look on your face. Stop picturing some new horror, we have enough to worry about as it is. I know I missed this one, but I won't let it happen again She's fine._

After I nodded reluctantly, she spoke aloud, her voice infused with confidence.

"I don't think so. The timing of it was too perfect … This visitor was so careful to make no contact. Almost like he or she knew that I would see ..."

"He could have other reasons for not making contact," Esme said calmly.

"Does it really matter who it was?" Bella asked, her heart racing. I knew that frightened sound, recognized the panic in her voice. I knew what she was going to say before she said it. "Just the chance that someone _was _looking for me … isn't that reason enough? We shouldn't wait for graduation."

"No, Bella," I said firmly, though I'd learned by now that my unwavering tone meant basically nothing to her where this subject was concerned. "It's not that bad. If you're really in danger, we'll know."

I shot a quick look at Carlisle, pleading with my eyes for him to be the voice of reason. I'd concluded it was easier for Bella to listen to him where timing was concerned, since she knew he supported her decision to be changed to begin with.

"Think of Charlie," he said gently. "Think of how it would hurt him if you disappeared."

"I _am _thinking of Charlie!" she shrieked. "He's the one I'm worried about! What if my little guest had happened to be thirsty last night? As long as I'm around Charlie, he's a target, too. If anything happened to him, it would be all my fault!"

"Hardly, Bella," Esme said sweetly. _It would be ours, for not protecting you the way we've promised to. _I could hear the hurt and worry as she allowed herself one brief moment to do what she'd instructed me not to do – fear the worst. "And nothing will happen to Charlie," she added, gently stroking Bella's hair. "We're just going to have to be more careful."

"_More _careful?" Bella asked, her eyes unfathomable. Once again, I was left hating myself for ever having brought this upon her. No one should have to fear for their lives and the lives of those they love, because of the company they keep.

"It's all going to be fine, Bella," Alice said, though her eyes were on me, her thoughts echoing the sentiment as I held Bella's hand with all the strength I could allow.

Bella stayed with us a little while longer, and though she made no more mention of her transformation date, I knew it was the foremost thing on her mind. By the time I drove her home, she was practically sulking.

"You won't be alone for a second," I promised, although I knew that wasn't what was bothering her. "Someone will always be there. Emmett, Alice, Jasper ..."

"This is ridiculous. They'll get so bored, they'll have to kill me themselves, just for something to do."

Even when I knew she was kidding, her lack of concern for her well being always made me nervous.

"Hilarious, Bella," I muttered as we pulled into her driveway.

When we walked inside, Charlie's thoughts were … smug. And strangely hopeful, though I couldn't tell exactly why.

"I'll be right back," I told Bella as she cooked Charlie's dinner. I said it in as light a tone as I could muster, but of course she understood what I was doing. It wasn't that I didn't trust Emmett and Jasper to have thoroughly scoured the area, but if we'd learned one thing today it was that things change quickly, and we can't necessarily see everything coming in advance. Things could change in a matter of seconds.

I ran a quick circle around the house's perimeter, catching no unfamiliar scents, no sign that anything wasn't exactly as it should be. I ran to the end of her street, then made a loop through the surrounding wooded area. I was certain that if one of us was nearby, that would be the ideal place to hide, undetected among the constantly changing scents of the forest.

When I was sure the area was clear, I made my way back to Bella's house just in time to hear why Charlie had seemed so enthusiastic.

"Jacob called again," he said pointedly the moment I'd walked through the door.

"Is that a fact?" Bella answered dryly. I had to suppress a grin at Charlie's crestfallen expression. He must have been underestimating how upset Bella was with Jacob. Personally, I thought she'd been very clear about the matter, but of course I was paying close attention.

"Don't be petty, Bella," he said. "He sounded really low."

"Is Jacob paying you for all the P.R., or are you a volunteer?"

Charlie's low mumbles blended perfectly with the cluttered confusion of his mind. He wanted to know what Jacob had done to make Bella turn her back on him so completely, but he knew it wasn't his place to ask. He was frustrated and at a loss, so he eventually excused himself to the living room where he pretended to watch TV while listening intently to us.

"Good night, Bella," I said politely – and deliberately loudly – smiling as Bella rolled her eyes. "See you soon," I added in a whisper, grazing her ear with my lips.

It was a fast trip back home. Emmett was guarding Bella's house, and while I felt nothing but confidence in his ability to protect her, I was feeling somewhat guilty for putting my entire family out, and was eager to relieve him of his post.

I changed my clothes and asked Alice if she'd seen anything new.

"Nothing to report in town. And no changes in Italy as far as I can see. Everyone seems more or less content, with no immediate plans to visit or check in."

"Unless someone decides to come here on a whim," I said dismally. "They all know the way your ability works. Do you think someone could be using it against you, blocking you in a sense by not planning ahead?"

"We've always run that risk. It's as true today as it ever was. The only difference is that now something has happened to scare you, and it's made you more aware of the loopholes in my power." _I'm sorry, _she added silently, and a new wave of guilt hit me.

"Don't be sorry," I said, forcing a smile. "I appreciate everything you do, and I'm sure it will be enough."

With a sigh, she nodded and left the room. She wanted to believe me as much as I wanted to believe myself.

Without another moment's hesitation, I was running back to Bella's house.

_All clear, _Emmett thought when I came into view.

"Thank you," I called softly to him as I climbed up into her window.

I'd been worried that Bella would have trouble sleeping, knowing that an uninvited guest had been in her room, but she seemed surprisingly at ease. I suspected it was at least partly an act to make me feel better, but I didn't dare question her, or make her think about it any more than she likely already was.

Acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, we slipped seamlessly back into our normal routine. Wrapped tightly in her quilt to shield her from my frozen skin, Bella curled up into me as best she could, and I sung to her until she fell asleep. My fingers ran gently through her hair while I listened intently for any sign of distress in her dreams. It was the one place she couldn't hide from me or put on any type of bravado, so I was grateful when I heard nothing but her normal sighs and declarations of love.

Charlie left early the next morning, allowing Bella and I a rare morning of uninterrupted togetherness. I watched her eat breakfast, trying to decipher the meaning behind the nervousness in her eyes as she glanced over at me. Surely she had plenty to fear, but I doubted that was what this particular look was about. I wished I was wrong, but something told me Jacob was on her mind, and that our short but enjoyable werewolf embargo was about to end.

"I'm going to let Jacob off the hook," she finally said. I put on my very best, sincerest smile. _Staying out of it, not making her choices for her … _

"I knew you'd forgive him. Holding grudges is not one of your many talents."

Bella looked satisfied by my show of civility, and I watched in polite acceptance as she dialed his number. I listened silently as he babbled out his inane apology, wishing I didn't notice the way it made Bella's face light up. I didn't flinch when he invited her down for a visit. My careful facade remained fully intact until he callously joked about making it up to her by taking her cliff diving.

A low snarl ripped through me, and I was grateful I'd opted to keep a bit of distance between myself and Bella. Clearly it had been too low for her to hear, and I quickly reset the smile on my face. Bella looked at me warily before declining his invitation.

"Not right now," she said sadly.

"_He's _not thrilled with me, is he?" Jacob asked, and I was stunned when I realized he sounded embarrassed. He must have known Bella would have told me exactly what he said. Perhaps he did actually realize how heartless and foolish he'd been.

"That's not the problem," Bella explained. "There's … well, there's this other problem that's slightly more worrisome than a bratty teenage werewolf..."

_Couldn't have said it better myself, _I thought, feeling rather proud of Bella.

When he asked what was wrong, I heard her hesitation. She could put on her brave face as much as she wanted, but it was obvious she didn't want to talk about it more than she had to. In any case, there was something I wanted to ask Jacob. I motioned toward the phone and Bella scrutinized me, trying to figure out my intention.

"Bella?" Jacob asked when she remained silent.

I gestured again, reaching closer to the phone. I didn't understand her refusal. It wasn't like I could reach through the phone and strangle him, as appealing as the prospect was.

"Do you mind speaking to Edward?" she finally asked cautiously.

"Okay," he said after deliberating. "This should be interesting."

The look on Bella's face as she handed me the phone was more than a little amusing. She was staring at me wide-eyed, silently telling me to mind my manners. Though it was hard to believe, I was actually finding it quite easy to keep my feelings toward Jacob in check. I'd started to realize I would always have the upper hand because I understood something he didn't. Bella was happier when I was nice to him.

"Hello, Jacob," I said with a smile.

"Hi, bloodsucker. To what do I owe this displeasure?"

"Someone was here – not a scent I know," I said, choosing to ignore him rather than play into his game. "Has your pack come across anything new?"

"Nope. No vamps in our territory. They all know better," he said pompously, though I could hear a twinge of nervousness in his voice. "You know, just because there's some new parasite running around, that doesn't give you the right to keep Bella away if she wants to come here. She'd be perfectly safe with us. No one's going to get past us, and you know it."

"Here's the crux, Jacob. I won't be letting Bella out of my sight till I get this taken care of. It's nothing personal – "

"You don't _own _her!" he spat. There was a pause, and when he spoke again, his voice was calmer. "Now, don't think that I don't get it. You guys are together and she wants to spend the majority of her time with you. I don't like it, but I'm not going to try to fight her on it. I already messed up once. Anyway, I figure you're going to be out trying to find this mystery vampire, and all I'm saying is that while you're out searching, you should let her be here. The whole pack is on constant vampire watch, we'll keep her safe."

"You might be right – " I started to agree, but apparently he wasn't listening anymore.

"Come to think of it, why aren't you out trying to find him right now? If it were me, I wouldn't rest until I'd caught the filthy bloodsucker." He paused, an idea forming in his mind. "In fact, if it's open vampire season up there, what would you say to granting the wolves an all access pass if we happen to catch the scent while he's on his way to Forks. I could maybe talk to Sam about allowing you guys the same access, if you caught the scent tracking him toward La Push. I don't know if he'll go for it, but it seems stupid to risk losing the trail over some boundary line."

"That's an interesting suggestion. We're quite willing to renegotiate. If Sam is amenable."

"I'll see what I can do. Keeping that _thing _away from Bella is the most important thing right now. I think even Sam will understand that."

"Thank you." It was amazing how fighting for a common good can put everything in perspective.

"So," Jacob continued, "when you do go out tracking this thing, who's going with you? I mean, does Bella have enough bodyguards left over?"

I thought about my promise to always have one of my family members with her during the short periods of time when I wasn't there. I'd also been entertaining the idea of taking a slightly longer tracking expedition, just to check all the surrounding areas, and while I'd considered taking Emmett and Jasper along, I much preferred the idea of going by myself and leaving the rest of them to watch over her. Strength in numbers seemed like the best way to go.

"I'd planned to go alone, actually. And leave her with the others."

"Oh, come on. If you're taking off, let Bella come stay with us. Then you can take the whole vampire hunting party if you want, and you don't have to worry about her. Like I said, we're on constant watch here. Nothing's getting through."

I thought briefly about it, trying my best to ignore the sick feeling in my gut at the thought of willingly turning her over to the wolves' protection. But, as much as I hated to admit it, he did have a point. They were quite capable where tracking was concerned, and they wouldn't hesitate for one second to rip whoever this was to pieces. They might have even finished off Victoria, if the issue of the boundary line hadn't come into play. And now we were working on making that line slightly less of on issue.

"I'll try to consider it objectively. As objectively as I'm capable of," I said.

"Hey, do you think I can stop by there and catch a whiff of the leech's scent while it's still strong? It'll be easier to track him if I know exactly what I'm looking for."

"That's not a half-bad idea. When?"

"The sooner the better. Now, if that's okay. I mean, if you can pry yourself away from Bella long enough for me to step in for a few minutes."

I was well past being irritated with his childish mockery. We were taking steps toward finding our intruder. That was all that mattered.

"No, that's fine. I'd like a chance to follow the trail personally, anyway. Ten minutes ..."

"And you'll be gone by the time I get there?"

"Certainly." I turned to Bella who was watching me with expectant eyes. "Bella?" I said, handing her the phone.

"What was that all about?" she asked the moment the phone was to her ear.

I tuned Jacob out politely while he told her the plan, however, when Bella warned him not to do anything risky, I heard him laugh at the same time I did. My Bella. After all this time, she was still always worried about the wrong things.

"You're coming up?" she said, after another minute. The excitement in her voice and eyes was impossible to miss.

"Jake, I really don't like the idea of you tracking – " she said worriedly, and I rolled my eyes. A moment later, she hung up the phone and turned to me, disbelieving.

"Yes, we're calling a temporary truce," I said gently. "Some things are simply more important than century-long rivalries."

She was still watching me skeptically as I ran my fingers through her hair, stopping to rest my hand on her cheek.

"Don't worry about us, Bella. Either of us. We're both fine, and more than capable of handing this. All you have to do is keep yourself safe, and we're happy."

I smiled as she relaxed under my touch. She truly was the most extraordinary creature I'd ever met. Somehow, this beautiful girl was special enough to both the vampires and the werewolves, that the rules were being changed. Maybe it wouldn't last beyond this immediate threat, but I could feel a perceptible shift in the balance between our family and the tribe. As strange and unsettling as it might be, we were now fighting the same enemy. And that changed everything.


	8. Scent EPOV

A/N: Hi everyone, I hope you all had a fun, safe Halloween! We dressed up our little pumpkin and she was adorable. I am back to work as of this week, so I fear I'll have even less time to spend writing. I promise I'm still working on it, though, as often as my hectic schedule allows. It truly is my sanity some days, and I'm going to do my best to get a chapter out at the very least every other week. Thanks for all your patience, and all the reviews and well wishes. You guys are the sparkle to my vampire. :)

Thanks again to shasta53 for catching my mistakes and helping this flow! (Hope you approve of my added Jacob moment...)

**Scent – EPOV**

"Is this _really _necessary?" she asked for the third time in under five minutes. It was taking longer to get out the door than I'd anticipated, and I was risking possible werewolf exposure if she didn't let me leave.

Bella was practically pouting when we finally said our goodbyes at the door. As grateful as I was that Jacob had agreed to help us find our mysterious unwanted guest, it didn't mean I was willing to be in the same room as him.

"It's not that I feel any personal antagonism toward him, Bella," I explained, though I knew it was only partly true. "It's just easier for both of us. I won't be far away. You'll be safe."

"I'm not worried about _that_," she said sulkily.

I smiled, thrilled by the idea that even one afternoon apart seemed like too much for her. When I thought of Jacob getting to spend time with Bella when what she and I really wanted was the rest of the day alone, I decided the least I could do was leave him with a little reminder of my presence. I reached out to take her hand and pulled her into my arms, breathing in the luxurious scent coming off every strand of her hair. And as I breathed her in, I let my own breath wash over her.

In the little time I'd spent around Jacob, I'd discovered something that seemed to be inherent in our respective genetic makeups, reflecting the way we felt about each other. I couldn't be sure exactly what we smelled like to the wolves, but based on the revolting stink that seemed to saturate them, I assumed it wasn't pleasant. It may have been petty, but I hoped that aside from reminding him that Bella had spent the morning in _my _arms, it would serve the dual function of deterring him from wanting to get too close to her.

Bella shivered slightly as I pulled away and I worried for a moment that my icy breath had chilled her. However, the hazy look that had taken over her eyes assured me it was the good kind of shiver.

"I'll be right back," I said, laughing as I pictured the look on Jacob's face when he inevitably pulled her in for a hug.

"What's so funny?" she asked, but of course I would never admit to having given in to such a childish prank.

Although I considered staying nearby long enough to hear his response, in the end I decided I'd acted immature enough for one day. Besides, if I stayed for five minutes, it would be too easy to stay the whole time, and I had already decided to venture a bit closer to the treaty line in an attempt to pick up any trace of the intruder.

It was a quick run toward La Push, and although Jacob had said he'd talk to Sam about allowing us greater access for the sake of the hunt, I didn't want to cross the line unless I needed to. I scoured the surrounding areas but came up short, as I'd expected. There was nothing but the normal variety of wildlife – and the general smell of wet dog, but that was to be expected, given where I was.

I wondered how long Jacob was planning on staying. I'd only been gone about a half an hour, but I was already anxious to get back. I decided to head back to Bella's but promised myself that if he was still there I would wait patiently, and at a respectable distance, until he was ready to leave.

As I passed Bella's mailbox, I stopped to see if any college acceptance letters had arrived. I had no doubt that she would have her pick of schools, should she decide to try college out for awhile. All I could do was hope that one of them was appealing enough to make her want to delay her change for a bit longer, though nothing had sparked even the slightest bit of interest so far. Still, I was thrilled to see a large envelope from Dartmouth, one of the schools I took the liberty of applying to for her. Maybe once she was actually holding the letter in her hand, she would realize the possibilities.

Tucking the letter inside my pocket, I made my way up to the house. Much to my amusement, the first thing I heard when I stepped onto the porch was, "Ugh, your hair stinks worse than your room."

I smiled to myself, not only entertained by his response, but happy to know it was the first time during their visit he had been close enough to notice. I listened quietly as they joked about the smell, and was startled when Jacob abruptly told her, "See you around, Bells."

"Are you leaving?" she asked. The sadness in her voice tugged at my heart. I wanted to give her everything that made her happy, but it was difficult to accept that sometimes _he _was what she wanted.

"He's waiting for me to go," he explained. "I can hear him outside." _Just couldn't stay away, could you? _he added silently.

It was hard to get used to the idea that Jacob could hear my presence as well as I heard his. At least he couldn't hear my thoughts, although I suspected he knew the general idea. Just as he was about to leave, he paused, his thoughts growing patronizing.

_Hey, you don't mind if I borrow your girlfriend for the evening, do you? We already decided I can keep her safe, so no big deal, right? You know, assuming you can stand to let her out of your sight for longer than a half an hour._

I bit back the growl rising in my throat as he extended the official invitation to Bella – a bonfire on the beach. I knew I had no right to ask her not to go. All I could do was listen to whether or not she would accept.

"C'mon, you think somebody's going to get past all – all six of us?" Jacob urged when she hesitated.

"I'll ask," she said, obviously torn, but for what reason? Was she finally showing an ounce of concern for her well being, or was she worried about what I would say if she told me she wanted to go?

"Is he your warden, now, too?" Jacob scoffed. "You know, I saw this story on the news last week about controlling, abusive teenage relationships and – "

"Okay! Time for the werewolf to get out!" she yelled, making me smile.

"Bye, Bells. Be sure you ask _permission,_" he said. _I know you're listening so just... could you please let her come and don't make her feel bad about it?_

The sincerity I heard shocked me. He was asking me to allow her to visit – not making a snide remark about controlling her or trying to goad me into it, but actually asking me. I'm not sure what my expression showed when I walked into the room, but before Bella had even seen me, it changed. I was distracted by an overwhelming scent; familiar, although something about it was off. It confused me for a moment, but then I saw the bloody knife on the counter. Ah. Werewolf blood. Here I thought I'd arrived in time for all the fun, but it looks like I missed the real excitement. Maybe he _had _tried to get close to her earlier and she was making her feelings about it known.

I sighed. Wishful thinking, I'm sure.

"Did you two get into a fight?" I asked.

"Edward!" she said excitedly, closing the distance between us in seconds and throwing her arms around me.

"Hi, there," I said, returning the embrace. It was good to know that no matter how disappointed she'd seemed to be when Jacob left, it was nothing compared to the enthusiasm she showed at my return. "Are you trying to distract me? It's working."

"No, I didn't fight with Jacob. Much. Why?"

"I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object," I teased, motioning toward the knife.

"Dang! I thought I got everything." She sounded so apologetic, I wondered if I should explain that smelling wolf blood had precisely the opposite effect as smelling human blood. It if was possible for a vampire to get sick, that would be the scent that would cause it. Before I could say a word, she was at the sink scrubbing away at it.

"I didn't stab him," she said. "He forgot he had a knife in his hand."

"That's not nearly as fun as the way I imagined it."

"Be nice," she warned, though there was a hint of teasing in her voice.

Good or bad, I'd had enough of any conversation involving Jacob, so I decided it was time to unveil what I thought was a very exciting acceptance letter.

"I got your mail," I said, feigning nonchalance.

"Anything good?"

"_I _think so."

I hoped as I handed her the letter, that seeing it, actually _holding _it in her hand, might make her just the slightest bit excited.

"Dartmouth? Is this a joke?" she asked incredulously. I just sighed and tried tactic number two; reminding her that we would be there together. She always said that was all she cared about.

"I'm sure it's an acceptance. It looks exactly like mine."

"Good grief, Edward – what did you _do_?"

"I sent in your application, that's all." No need to mention what Carlisle did. The school of medicine now had significantly more scholarship money available for incoming students. He hadn't even blinked. He'd been happy to do it, whether Bella ended up attending the school or not.

"I may not be Dartmouth material, but I'm not stupid enough to believe _that_."

"Dartmouth seems to think that you're Dartmouth material," I said, smile fixed firmly on my face. It didn't matter how she got in. If it was what she wanted, that's where she would go. I had no doubt in her abilities, and if she needed a little extra help with the class load, that's where I came in. I could tutor her in any subject she decided to take. I loved the idea that all my time attending college after college would actually go to some use, other than to occupy my endlessly bored mind.

"That's very generous of them," she said slowly, like the words were causing her physical pain. "However, accepted or not, there is still the minor matter of tuition. I can't afford it, and I'm not letting you throw away enough money to buy yourself another sports car just so that I can pretend to go to Dartmouth next year."

I hated that she still thought I was doing all this so that she could simply pretend to go to school. Why was she so opposed to trying it out for a year? Most high school seniors couldn't wait to get to college and experience the freedom of finally being on their own. Of course, I'd always known there was nothing usual about Bella's reaction to normal human events and life changes.

"I don't need another sports car. And you don't have to pretend anything. One year of college wouldn't kill you. Maybe you'd even like it. Just think about it, Bella. Imagine how excited Charlie and Renee would be..."

And suddenly, for the briefest of moments, I saw a touch of wonder in her eyes. Although it faded almost as quickly as it had appeared, I knew then that I'd found the key to my last shred of hope. Maybe she would never consider staying human longer for herself, but for her parents...

"Edward, I'm worried about living through graduation, let alone this summer or next fall," she said, interrupting my moment of happiness. The look of joy and anticipation for the life I so wanted her to have was now replaced by one of fear. I was determined not to let her make the choice that would forever steal her humanity because she was afraid. How could I ever live with myself?

I pulled her into my embrace, wishing she would believe me when I swore to keep her safe. Unlike me and the rest of my family who had no other choice, Bella was a healthy – if not a bit unfortunate – girl, with the rest of her life before her.

"No one is going to hurt you," I promised. "You have all the time in the world."

"I'm mailing the contents of my bank account to Alaska tomorrow," she said stubbornly. "It's all the alibi I need. It's far enough away that Charlie won't expect a visit until Christmas at the earliest. And I'm sure I'll think of some excuse by then. You know, this whole secrecy and deception thing is kind of a pain."

She looked up at me with a tiny smile. I knew she was trying to make a joke and keep the subject light like she always did, but her teasing words were too near the truth. She had no idea how difficult it was, living the way we do, never allowing yourself to get too close to anyone for fear of discovery.

"It gets easier," I said bitterly, finding it harder than usual to hide my displeasure. "After a few decades, everyone you know is dead. Problem solved."

The miserable expression that took hold of her made me instantly remorseful. Although it was something she would inevitably have to think about, there was a better time and place to bring it up, and certainly a more tactful way.

"Sorry, that was harsh," I apologized.

"But still true," she said, her eyes vacant and glazed over. Inexcusably, I took advantage of her moment of sorrow.

"If I get this resolved, whatever it is we're dealing with, will you please _consider _waiting?"

"Nope."

"Always so stubborn."

"Yep."

Her washing machine made a loud sound in the otherwise quiet room, and she mumbled, "Stupid piece of junk," as she reluctantly left my arms.

"This reminds me," she said as she adjusted the towel. I could still smell a faint trace of wolf blood on it. "Could you ask Alice what she did with my stuff when she cleaned my room? I can't find it anywhere."

That surprised me. Alice wasn't exactly compulsively clean, and I couldn't imagine her voluntarily cleaning Bella's room. Raiding it and throwing out all clothes she deemed unacceptable, perhaps, but not cleaning.

"Alice cleaned your room?"

"Yeah, I guess that's what she was doing. When she came to get my pajamas and pillow and stuff to hold me hostage." She was glaring at me now, but my mind was already somewhere else. I was sure if Alice had been bothered enough by Bella's room to clean it, she would have said something to me, or at least allowed her mind to wander to it at some point. "She picked up everything that was lying around, my shirts, my socks, and I don't know where she put them."

It took about five more seconds for the pieces to come together, and when they did, I felt like an absolute fool for not having realized it sooner. I should have thought to ask if anything was missing the moment we knew someone had been in her room.

"When did you notice your things were missing?" I asked, though I was certain I already knew the answer.

"When I got back from the fake slumber party. Why?"

"I don't think Alice took anything. Not your clothes, or your pillow. The things that were taken, these were things you'd worn... and touched... and slept on?"

"Yes. What is it, Edward?" She still didn't understand, and I hated that I had to say the words out loud. The idea that this intruder actually had her things made me furious, and I could only imagine the sense of violation it would bring to Bella.

"Things with your scent," I said softly.

"Oh!" she gasped, her eyes widening. She watched me in silence while the gravity of what that meant sunk in, and after a few moments, she whispered, "My visitor."

"He was gathering traces... evidence. To prove that he'd found you?" I wondered. It would make sense if it had indeed been a member of the Volturi checking to see if she was human, but I still had my doubts that any of them were involved. No other scenario made sense, though. What other vampire would take along items that smelled like a human, especially one with a scent as sweet as Bella's? Why would they torture themselves like that?

"Why?" she finally asked, and I wished I was any closer to an answer for her than I'd been when the whole mess started. If anything, I was more confused.

"I don't know," I admitted dismally. "But, Bella, I swear I _will _find out. I will."

I pulled her close again, hoping she could feel the absolute promise in my voice.

"I know you will," she whispered, her soft cheek pressed tightly to my chest. I could feel her heart beating frantically against me, though she was clearly trying to exude a calm confidence. Her faith in me was overwhelming. It made me all the more determined to solve this mystery quickly, and once again put her fears behind her.

A few minutes later, my phone vibrated, breaking our shared moment of peace.

"Just the person I need to talk to," I said when I saw Carlisle's number. "Carlisle, I – "

"Edward, have you seen today's paper? The situation in Seattle is getting out of hand. And it's not just the sheer volume of deaths, but the manner in which they're happening. They're very sloppy, Edward. Vicious, and with no attempt to hide the evidence."

"I'll check it out," I said, his words only partly registering. My attention was elsewhere. "Listen, I'm not quite sure yet what to make of this, but we just figured out that whoever was in Bella's room didn't leave empty handed."

"They took something of hers?" he asked, the concern in his voice obvious.

"Yes. Several somethings to be precise. Things that would have her scent all over them. What do you think it means?"

"It sounds like something the Volturi would do, but Alice remains confident it isn't one of them. And with none of us recognizing the scent, it seems very unlikely."

"That's the same conclusion I came to. I just don't know what to think, Carlisle. But I can't stand the thought of someone having her things."

"I know, I don't like it either. I'll fill Alice in on what you've told me. Now, Edward, I know you have a lot on your mind, but Emmett was thinking of making a quick run up to Seattle to see if he can find any pattern to the chaos. I know it's not our place or responsibility to interfere, but whoever is causing all this destruction isn't that far away, and if there's any indication they're heading this way, it's best we know about it beforehand."

"Maybe I'll go..." I said, but as I glanced toward Bella, her eyes still fearful, I couldn't see myself having the strength to leave her, even for a couple of hours. "Maybe not," I amended. "Don't let Emmett go alone, you know how he gets. At least ask Alice to keep an eye on things. We'll figure this out later."

"Of course. And you know Alice is always watching."

With that, I hung up the phone. Although it couldn't be the foremost thing on my mind, Carlisle's worried tone had made me curious. Always the picture of composure, it wasn't often he let his anxieties show.

"Where's the paper?" I asked Bella, still not sure how much I should share with her. Did I really need to give her one more thing to worry about?

"Um, I'm not sure. Why?"

"I need to see something. Did Charlie already throw it out?"

"Maybe..."

I ran quickly out to the recycling bin and fetched the paper. It only took a few seconds to find the headline Carlisle was talking about. My eyes scanned the article, horrified at how fast the murder total was rising. Even the most vicious of vampires with little to no regard as to whether or not he was discovered couldn't be the sole cause of so many deaths. Not unless he was purposely trying to get caught.

With a stab of pain, I remembered a time not so long ago when I had wanted to get caught breaking the rules. Of course I hadn't needed to kill anyone in order to be discovered. Even in my darkest of hours, I would never have taken an innocent life to ensure the end of my own. There are other ways.

Still, the idea that this was the work of a suicidal vampire was far-fetched. It seemed much more likely that they simply didn't know better.

"It's getting worse," Bella said. I hadn't realized she'd been reading over my shoulder.

"Altogether out of control," I said, more to myself than to her. "This can't be the work of just _one _newborn vampire. What's going on? It's as if they've never heard of the Volturi. Which is possible, I guess. No one has explained the rules to them... so who is creating them, then?"

"The Volturi?" she asked, panicked.

"This is exactly the kind of thing they routinely wipe out – immortals who threaten to expose us. They just cleaned up a mess like this a few years ago in Atlanta, and it hadn't gotten nearly this bad. They will intervene soon, very soon, unless we can find some way to calm the situation. I'd really rather they didn't come to Seattle just now. As long as they're this close... they might decide to check on you."

Her eyes were wide with terror and she looked paler than usual. "What can we do?"

"We need to know more before we can decide that. Perhaps if we can talk to these young ones, explain the rules, it can be resolved peacefully." Even as I said it, my words felt impossible. I couldn't imagine reasoning with a group of newborns who'd already proven they had absolutely no self control. "We'll wait until Alice has an idea of what's going on.... We don't want to step in until it's absolutely necessary. After all, it's not our responsibility." I didn't want it to end in a fight – we already had enough to deal with – and Carlisle hated the idea of killing anyone, even if they themselves were merciless killers. Cringing, I remembered how difficult it had been for him to admit that killing James was the only answer. Emmett, I feared, would be all too eager to take on a group of newborns. If the rest of us weren't there to reign him in, he'd probably already be in Seattle. His headstrong, confident nature was usually not a problem, but in this case, it made me nervous. He didn't fully understand what we were up against.

"But it's good we have Jasper," I said softly, grateful for the first time for his brutal history. "If we are dealing with newborns, he'll be helpful."

"Jasper? Why?" she asked.

I smiled, despite my trepidation. He would most likely be happy to know that his past was finally going to be good for something. "Jasper is sort of an expert on young vampires."

"What do you mean, an expert?"

"You'll have to ask him – the story is involved." Involved... and brutal. And therefore, censored. I, of course, knew every detail, and over the decades I'd lost track of what he'd actually spoken aloud and what I'd learned through inadvertent listening. I respected him and his privacy enough not to say much about his past for fear of revealing something he'd intended to keep to himself. He would never admit, not even to Alice, the extent to which the guilt still plagued him over the atrocities he was involved in, and how it was made worse for him every time he felt his self restraint weaken.

"What a mess," Bella mumbled. Exactly what I was thinking.

"It does feel that way, doesn't it? Like it's coming at us from all sides these days." My own guilt once again set in when I thought of all the different ways I was risking the life of the person whom I'd sworn to protect. If it wasn't vindictive vampires bent on revenge, or the werewolf whose arms I'd basically thrown her into, it was out of control newborns who happened to have chosen the northwest for their rampage. Okay, technically that wasn't my fault, but if it weren't for me, Bella would believe it was just some serial killer like everyone else. Instead, she had to live with the fear that came from knowing the truth. I sighed, hating how thoroughly I seemed to have disrupted her life.

"Do you ever think that your life might be easier if you weren't in love with me?" I asked miserably.

"Maybe. It wouldn't be much of a life, though."

"For me," I whispered, overcome by the unconditional love I saw when I looked into her eyes. It was more than I deserved. In that instant, I remembered what I'd overheard her talking to Jacob about. I'd taken so much from her, the least I could do was try to give her anything and everything that made her happy. No matter how insane it seemed to me.

"And now," I said, smiling with as much sincerity as I could muster, considering what I was about to say. "I suppose you have something you want to ask me?"

She looked genuinely perplexed. "I do?"

"Or maybe not," I said, smiling. Who was I to remind her if she'd already so conveniently forgotten? _Be reasonable, give her what makes her happy..._ I reminded myself. "I was rather under the impression that you'd promised to ask my permission to go to some kind of werewolf soiree tonight."

"Eavesdropping again?" She didn't sound surprised, or particularly bothered. For some reason, that made me smile.

"Just a bit, at the very end."

"Well, I wasn't going to ask you anyway. I figured you had enough to stress about."

Yet again, she was giving me more than I deserved. I took a step closer to her until I could feel her heart pounding in her chest. I reached up to cradle her face and watched her eyes carefully as I asked the question I was sure I already knew the answer to.

"Would you like to go?"

"It's no big thing," she lied. "Don't worry about it."

"You don't have to ask my permission, Bella. I'm not your father – thank heaven for _that_. Perhaps you should ask Charlie, though."

"But you know Charlie will say yes," she said, a hint of a smile playing at her lips. I'd have to remember that smile while she was away, to remind myself why I was momentarily sacrificing my sanity.

"I do have a bit more insight into his probable answer than most people would, it's true." One of the most constant trends in Charlie's often confused mind was that Jacob was good, someone to be trusted. The peace that seemed to wash over him when he thought of Jacob and Bella being together was rivaled only by the concern he felt when he thought of her relationship with me. I felt certain I would never completely undo the damage I'd done by leaving her, at least as far as Charlie was concerned. I couldn't expect to, really. Not when I thought of what he'd been put through, taking care of Bella during those desolate months.

I watched as first confusion, then indecision washed over Bella's face. I knew she wanted to go, but she was finally considering my feelings on the matter, the way I'd wanted her to all along. It gave me even more confidence in my decision.

"Bella," I said, looking deeply into her eyes so she'd know I meant it. "I told you that I was going to be reasonable and trust your judgment. I meant that. If you trust the werewolves, then I'm not going to worry about them."

"Wow," she said, still watching me with disbelieving eyes.

"And Jacob's right – about one thing, anyway – a pack of werewolves ought to be enough to protect even you for one evening." I nearly laughed. I wondered if they realized keeping Bella safe was a full time job.

"Are you sure?" She was giving me an out, a guilt free escape that would keep her beside me instead of relinquishing her care to the wolves. I considered taking it, but the smile that was threatening to break through her expression reminded me that my first and foremost task was keeping her happy – I owed her that much after all she'd been through because of me.

"Of course," I said, my smile locked in place. "Only... " It was with great difficulty that I was entrusting her to Jacob's watch, something I was sure Bella was aware of, and I felt certain she would grant my few small requests. "I hope you won't mind taking a few precautions? Allowing me to drive you to the boundary line, for one. And then taking a cell phone, so that I'll know when to pick you up?"

"That sounds... very reasonable," she hedged, clearly waiting for the catch.

"Excellent," I said as calmly as I could manage. There was no point in letting her know I was screaming on the inside. No good could come from showing how miserable the idea of handing her over to a pack of immature _dogs_ made me. She wanted to spend time with them, and I had no right to refuse. I'd left her, hurt her in the most inexcusable way, and I'd sworn that if it took my entire existence, I would make it up to her.

I just hated that my vow involved letting her go where I could not follow.

I listened with measured patience as Bella spoke with Jacob, explaining that I'd agreed to drive her to the boundary line and that I would pick her up when the bonfire was over. Though I tried not to listen to Jacob's side of the conversation, it was impossible not to hear the smugness in his tone.

Our meeting was set for six o'clock, so there wasn't enough time to unveil the surprise I had waiting for Bella at home. It was something that had been playing around in my mind since I'd heard about Bella's motorcycle escapades while I'd been away. Although I hated the idea of sanctioning more reckless behavior on her part, the moment I purchased my new silver motorcycle, I knew I'd made the right choice. She had downplayed it, but I could tell how much she'd enjoyed the exhilaration of riding, and I wanted to give that happiness back to her. And it would be even better now, because she would be able to ride for the pure enjoyment of it, rather than as a way of reconnecting with what she'd lost.

I had left her so broken that she'd felt the need to go to ridiculous extremes to hear my voice. I might have been more upset about her risking her safety for something so absurd, but if I had been able to conjure up a crystal clear hallucination of her, I too would have done anything to achieve it. I would have run around Volterra taunting the Volturi like a madman for one moment with my imagined Bella.

So, I put my nervousness aside – after all, I would be there to catch her before she could hurt herself – and decided to buy myself a bike so we could ride together. I felt a small twinge of guilt when I thought of how greatly Charlie would disapprove of her being back on a motorcycle, but honestly, there weren't many of his rules I _wasn't_ breaking, so why not add one more to the list?

There was one very important difference, however, between when Jacob had taken her out and what I was planning. It actually made me furious that he hadn't insisted on it from the beginning of their insane recreational activities. Along with my bike, I'd also purchased Bella appropriate riding attire, including a top of the line motorcycle helmet. Not that I intended on letting her fall, but still, there was no reason to take any chances.

I'd allowed my mind to wander as Bella finished her conversation with Jacob, and I realized with a start that she was now talking to me.

"Do we have time?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, love, my mind was somewhere else."

"It's okay. I was talking to myself more or less. I'm just used to you hearing everything, whether I think you're listening or not," she said with a tiny smirk. "I wanted to know if we have time to go back to your place and pick up my motorcycle. Since I'm not exactly using it these days, I figure I should give it back to Jacob. Maybe he can sell it and make some money. I feel terrible, all the time he put into those bikes, and now we can never ride together anymore."

My heart sank at her dejected expression and the tone in her voice. I don't know why it had never occurred to me before that moment. The idea of riding with me wouldn't thrill her the way I'd intended it to, because it wasn't about the bikes. It was about Jacob. This was something special she'd shared with him.

I nodded solemnly, feeling like a complete fool, and we drove in near silence all the way to my house. As we entered the garage, it was too much to hope that she wouldn't think anything of the silver motorcycle sitting next to her own. Although fast cars were something of a fascination to myself and my family, Bella knew none of us had any particular interest in motorcycles. There was no mistaking the purpose of this bike.

"What is _that_?" she asked, eyes wide.

"Nothing."

"It doesn't _look_ like nothing."

I forced a smile, determined not to let her know how disappointed I was. "Well, I didn't know if you were going to forgive your friend, or he you, and I wondered if you would still want to ride your bike anyway. It sounded like it was something that you enjoyed. I thought I could go with you, if you wished."

A look of unexplained sadness came over her as she stared at our bikes, and I wondered if I'd just unwittingly reminded her of the horrible time we'd spent apart. Just as I was about to apologize for making such a heinous mistake, she whispered, "I wouldn't be able to keep up with you."

Happy that this concern, at least, was one I could dispel immediately, I reached out to take her face in my hands. I touched her cheeks, her lips, willing her eyes to find mine so she could see how very content I would be riding with her, if it would make her happy.

"I'd keep pace with you, Bella."

"That wouldn't be much fun for you."

"Of course it would, if we were together."

She seemed lost in thoughts for a brief moment, her brow pulled together in concentration. Perhaps it hadn't been a mistake. Maybe I could give her this small joy once again.

"Edward," she finally said, "if you thought I was going too fast or losing control of the bike or something, what would you do?"

I paused, beginning to understand why riding with Jacob was such a thrill for her. With him, there was still an element of danger. Though I'm sure she knew he would never let her get seriously hurt, he also wasn't about to hurl himself out to catch her if she started to tip over. She knew as well as I did that I couldn't say the same for myself.

"This is something you do with Jacob," I said, trying to smile. I wouldn't let her feel guilty. "I see that now."

"It's just that, well, I don't slow him down so much, you know. I could try, I guess...."

She was trying to make me happy, humoring me and nothing more.

"Don't worry about it," I said, laughing when I realized exactly what I was going to do with it. Alice must have already seen this coming. It would explain why she was so eager to help me pick out which bike to purchase. She wasn't shopping for me. She was shopping for Jasper. "I saw Jasper admiring it. Perhaps it's time he discovered a new way to travel. After all, Alice has her Porsche now."

"Edward, I – "

I kissed her quickly, unwilling to let her feel any remorse. The only reason I'd bought it was because I thought it would make her happy. If that wasn't the case, then there was no point in spending one more second thinking about it.

"I said not to worry," I assured her when our lips parted. "But would you do something for me?"

"Whatever you need."

I reached around her and grabbed the jacket and helmet I'd picked out. Just because she didn't want to ride with me, didn't mean she wouldn't want to ride at all. Although I hated that I wouldn't be there to catch her when she inevitably fell, I did feel marginally better knowing at least she would be better protected than in previous attempts.

"Please?" I asked when she eyed the helmet skeptically.

"I'll look stupid," she protested.

"No, you'll look smart. Smart enough not to get yourself hurt." I reached out to touch her face again, suddenly more aware than usual how fragile it felt in my hands. "There are things between my hands right now that I can't live without. You could take care of them."

"Okay, fine. What's the other thing?"

"It's a riding jacket," I said, laughing at the things humans had to use to protect themselves. I guess there were a few advantages to being a vampire. "I hear road rash is quite uncomfortable, not that I would know myself."

Reluctantly, she put the helmet on and shrugged into the jacket. It was such a different look from her normal attire, and the scowl on her face as I zipped her up made her look oddly ferocious – or at least ferocious for Bella. I grinned at the image before me. My sweet Bella, glowering at me from inside a sea of thick, black leather.

"Be honest, how hideous do I look?" she asked.

I stepped back to really take her all in. It was the first time she didn't appear entirely breakable, and for the briefest of seconds, I imagined her as I was – strong, powerful, unstoppable...

I quickly stopped that train of thought. What was wrong with me?

"That bad, huh?" she asked, and I realized she was still waiting for a response. There was no way I was telling her what had just passed through my thoughts, so I tried to put it the best way I could.

"No, no, Bella. Actually..." I paused. There was no other way to say it. Though it pained me to think of her losing her mortality, I had to admit I was attracted to that fierce, unrelenting image of Bella – strong and unbreakable, standing at my side. "You look... sexy."

"Right," she laughed.

"Very sexy, really." For once, it was easier that she wouldn't believe me. It saved me from having to explain _why_ I was finding her particularly sexy at this moment.

"You are just saying that so that I'll wear it. But that's okay. You're right, it's smarter."

I pulled her close to me, laughing under my breath. After all this time, she still didn't see herself clearly.

"You're silly. I suppose that's part of your charm. Though, I'll admit it, this helmet does have its drawbacks."

I took off her helmet, letting her hair fall in waves around her shoulders. I kissed her, reminding myself as I did that she was still soft and fragile. For some reason I was finding it harder than usual to keep my kiss gentle. I tried not to think about the reason why as another image of Bella, pale skinned and hard as marble, assaulted me, unbidden.

"I suppose I have to let you go," I said as I pulled gently away from her.

"Oh, I don't really need to go," she answered, somewhat breathlessly.

"Now, don't start that. It's taken a great deal to convince myself to spend an evening apart from you. Don't tempt me to change my mind."

She looked at me like she was considering it, so I quickly shuffled us outside and into the car. I knew how much she wanted to go down to La Push tonight, even if in this exact moment she wasn't sure.

Bella was fairly quiet during the drive until she finally turned to me with the strangest expression.

"You know what this reminds me of? It's just like when I was a kid and Renee would pass me off to Charlie for the summer. I feel like a seven-year-old."

I had to laugh, but decided not to comment. We were getting closer to La Push and I needed to keep myself focused and calm if I was going to get through the exchange. I heard Jacob before we saw him, and even though he was getting his way, his bitterness hadn't lessened. I couldn't understand it. After all, he and Bella were about to spend the evening together with me nowhere in sight, not able to come near her no matter how desperately I wanted to, leaving him more or less in charge of how long the evening the lasted.

_Still don't understand what he's playing at_, he thought just before we came into view. _Oh, great._ His posture stiffened when he saw us and I could hear him trying to block his mind from me. He started thinking about inconsequential things, his obvious irritation at my talent seeping through the best of his efforts. He finally gave up when Bella waved at him warmly, smiling at her before sarcastically adding, _thanks for letting Bella come out and play._

"Call me whenever you're ready to come home, and I'll be here," I told her when we'd parked. I was getting more nervous every second, but the happiness on Bella's face made it clear there was no turning back.

"I won't be out late."

Jacob waited, watching in confusion, as I unloaded Bella's motorcycle from my car.

_Gonna let her ride with the big boys? _he thought acidly. _Though I see not without a bit of protection. What? You don't trust me to keep her in one piece? I did a pretty good job of it while you were M.I.A._

"Do you have it all?" I asked Bella, ignoring Jacob and trying to muffle the snarl that was threatening to rip through me.

"No problem."

The malice in Jacob's every thought multiplied the moment I leaned toward Bella. Although I was trying not to be as spiteful and petty as him, I succumbed to a moment of weakness, pulling Bella tightly to me and kissing her feverishly.

_Filthy, disgusting, creepy as hell... how can she stand it? _

Jacob worked quickly to try to silence his mind, but he was too far gone. I laughed under my breath as I released Bella from my embrace.

"Goodbye," I said softly, thrilled to hear her heart was racing. I wondered if he could hear it too. I wasn't sure exactly how acute their senses were. "I really do like the jacket," I added, grinning as she blushed.

She walked slowly away from me, almost as if she was giving me one last chance to rescind my offer. A wave of terror passed briefly but violently through me as the reality of who I was sending her off to hit me, but I buried it as swiftly as I could manage. I didn't want her night to be marred by feelings of guilt. Whatever suffering I was about to put myself through was my problem, not hers.

Because he loved making things as difficult as possible for me, Jacob narrated Bella's steps, telling me exactly what I already knew.

_Almost to the line... what are you going to do when you can't come after her? Just a few more feet... it's out of your hands now, isn't it, bloodsucker?_

I snarled quietly, unable to hold it in any longer but unwilling to upset Bella. Jacob just smiled as I got back into the car, watching, glaring..

"What's all that?" he asked, turning his attention to Bella when she was just a few steps away.

"I thought I should put this back where it belongs."

This time, his enthusiasm outweighed his desire to silently antagonize me. All I heard was a list of all the places he'd wanted to take Bella riding but assumed he'd never get the chance to. He wasn't taunting me. He was simply ecstatic.

Jacob didn't waste any time. The second Bella's foot crossed the boundary line, he scooped her up into an overtly showy hug.

_All mine, _he though wryly. My foot instinctively pressed down on the gas, reflexes twitching, wishing I could just go run him over, but I stopped when his mind silently added what he hated and what would keep me sane. _For a few hours, anyway..._

I'd had just about all I could take, so with that thought, I forced myself to drive away, leaving my only love with a creature I only knew how to hate. Still, deep within in me I could feel that she was safe. For Bella's sake alone, I would allow myself to be momentarily grateful for how deeply Jacob cared for her. His love, foolish and fruitless as it was, would protect her until she was back in my arms.


	9. Waiting EPOV

A/N: Hello again, thanks so much for the reviews. There was a definite lack of Edward in this Eclipse chapter, so this one is mostly me... hope you enjoy, I sure had fun. :)

**Waiting – EPOV**

It never got any easier to drive away from Bella, but tonight it was harder than usual. Of course, it didn't help matters any that I was leaving her with a pack of immature, reckless, out of control...

_No. _I couldn't let myself think that way or I'd never get through the evening. I watched in my rear view mirror until Bella and Jacob were out of sight. The moment I could no longer see her, I felt a stabbing pain in my chest, as if I were feeling my heart stop beating all over again. It was everything I could do not to turn around and go back for her – tell her I'd changed my mind, that there was too much danger and uncertainty with her intruder still on the loose. She'd understand. She had already given me many chances to stop her from going. I knew without any doubt that if I called her and asked her to come back to the boundary line, told her I needed her to come home with me, she would comply.

Which was why I made myself keep driving.

As difficult as it was for me to understand, spending time in La Push with the friends she'd made during my absence was important to Bella, and I had promised not to let her miss out on any experiences she deemed important. That promise felt especially meaningful with graduation and her intended transformation date looming before us, nearer every second of every day.

I tried to occupy my mind on the drive home, and thinking about graduation and making the most of Bella's remaining human days had given me an idea. I hadn't thought of anything specific and had little more than a vague idea of what I wanted to do, but that didn't stop Alice from already being one step ahead of me. As soon as I'd stepped through the front door, she was at my side.

"I'd love to help, of course, but just so you know, she's not going to be happy. And we're not surprising her. I'm not doing anything to upset Bella like that. She _is _almost officially my sister, you know."

I glared at her, but it did nothing to deter the smile on her face. Alice was far too eager for Bella's change to let my feelings on the matter put a damper on her excitement.

"Fine, no surprises," I said grudgingly. "Now, can you tell me how many of her friends will actually come to a graduation party if we have it here? The point is to let her spend as much time with them as she can and that won't work if they're all too nervous to show up."

Alice closed her eyes for a moment, a look of serenity on her face as we both watched the future unfold. While a number of Bella's friends still harbored some ill feelings toward me, it didn't appear that anyone would pass up the opportunity to finally see where the elusive, mysterious Cullen family lived. Everyone invited would accept the invitation, and Bella would be able to spend the evening celebrating the end of her high school career with her classmates.

I was no longer foolish enough to think that a desire not to lose her school friends had any effect on the choice she'd made. I had been watching her start to withdraw from even those she felt closest to for quite some time. I wasn't entirely sure if it was intentional – after all, she was fairly preoccupied with rogue vampires and werewolf gatherings – but whether or not she intended to, I could see Bella was already preparing herself for her imminent goodbyes.

"Alice?" I asked as her eyes opened again. "You don't see any chance of Bella changing her mind, right?"

She smiled angelically at me. "You would know if I had, wouldn't you?"

"Right," I said skeptically. "Like you've never shielded your thoughts from me."

"But why would I shield something like that?"

"Because if Bella was showing even the slightest bit of doubt, you know I would latch onto it and use it to try to change her mind."

"I promise you there is no doubt whatsoever that she wants to be one of us. She is ready to be a part of this family. The only variation I ever see is in how she's changed." She paused, looking deeply into my eyes, her tone more serious than I'd heard in a long time. "She wants it to be you, Edward."

"But not enough to agree to marry me." It was impossible to disguise the hurt in my voice.

"It's true, marriage is the last thing on her mind right now, and as much as I'd like to, I can't tell you I've seen visions of wedding bells. She's not there yet. But sometimes I can clearly see you being the one to change her, and since I know how stubborn you are, I can only assume that means there are times she's considering agreeing to your proposal."

My eyes widened in surprise – surprise, and hope.

"Don't get ahead of yourself," Alice warned. "Remember, you haven't even proposed to her properly yet."

"I know, and I feel like I'm running out of opportunities. Graduation is going to be here before we know it, and right now, she seems determined to stick to that deadline."

"You'll think of something," she said, grinning impishly before starting to mentally sing the alphabet backwards. Subtle.

I retreated to my room, trying not to look at the clock on the way. It felt like it had been hours since I'd left Bella, but I was sure it had been more like minutes. There was no use driving myself crazy worrying about her, so instead, I forced myself into the best distraction I currently had available – staring at my mother's wedding ring and imagining it on Bella's finger.

It all seemed so simple. We'd found each other, we were in love, we both knew we would never want anyone else for the rest of eternity... so what was stopping us? Bella was more than willing to give up everything in her human life for immortality, yet she couldn't fathom binding herself to me in this way. The conundrum once again filled me with doubts that my rational mind couldn't silence. Did she really want me forever, or did she simply want _forever_?

I was more than aware that Bella had developed a glorified picture of what our existence was like, and what hers would soon be like if everything went according to her plans. I often wondered if she would go through with it if she knew what the burn in our throats felt like each time we were near humans. If she truly understood the pain that came with self control and the empty, hollow feeling of never getting what our bodies naturally craved, how could she possibly doom herself to that life?

I was certain she didn't think about such things. She thought about never having to be afraid again, never worrying about Victoria or the Volturi coming after her. She saw herself strong and unbreakable. _Immortal_. Wasn't that what all humans wanted – the secret to eternal life, youth, and beauty? Was I really the reason for her desire to leave the fragile, mortal human race, or was I merely the means of achieving it?

I quickly forced the thought out of my mind, almost hearing Bella tell me I was being ridiculous. Still, while it _seemed_ like she truly loved me despite my deplorable nature, I could never completely shake that feeling of doubt. She'd forgiven me for all my sins, even those I committed before she knew me, yet how could one as pure and blameless as Bella want to spend one lifetime, let alone eternity, with a creature like me?

I stared at the ring, the only real tie I had left to my own human life, and wondered how much simpler things would be if only I could be human for Bella. I wanted so badly to give her the life she deserved, to give her _me_ if that was what she really desired,without making her sacrifice anything. But that was impossible. She wanted us to be the same, and if I couldn't be human for her, there was really only one choice.

I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit it would make my life a lot easier. Although I knew there was no way I would ever hurt Bella, that fact didn't do anything to lessen the agonizing burn I still felt every time we were together. I'd grown used to it, though not immune. In fact, I was certain that even a lifetime together wouldn't take away the pain. The only thing that could take away the call of her blood was to stop it from pumping through her veins, but wishing for such a thing would only make me more of a monster than I already am.

So many times I felt certain I would give anything just to know she's safe, to be sure nothing would ever take her from me. Yet I couldn't take her humanity for my peace of mind. I could never reconcile damning her to a life of darkness in order to keep her light shining forever in mine.

_But if she's already made her choice..._

With a sigh, I placed the ring back inside its box, and returned it to its hopefully temporary home inside the nightstand. I could feel the weight of the ring even when I was no longer holding it, and my mind wandered back to the other half of our very confusing equation. We were talking about forever, and I needed our forever to begin with the irrefutable knowledge that I am hers and she is mine.

Although I had no way of knowing when or if she would change her mind, somehow, I could envision what the moment would look like. In my mind, I'd already placed my mother's ring on Bella's finger, and pictured it bringing a smile to her face and light to her eyes. I could so clearly see that instant when she would finally say yes, and it was to that image I now found myself clinging as I felt the seconds tick by. Cringing, I wondered how long a pack of mangy wolves could keep her entertained.

Once again, all I could do was wait. Lately, it felt like waiting was all I _ever_ did. I was waiting for Victoria to be close enough for us to strike. I was waiting for Bella to decide whether she was willing to marry me to get what she claimed she wanted more than anything. Waiting for the end, waiting for the beginning... waiting for the change I dreaded yet couldn't deny the allure of.

I waited, with morbid anticipation, for the day I would no longer have to fear losing what matters most to me.

At half past eleven, the phone rang.

"Bella," I breathed, relieved.

"Sorry to disappoint, bloodsucker," Jacob answered coldly, though his voice was only a whisper.

"What's wrong?" I asked, panicking. I flew down the stairs and was already outside, climbing into the Volvo when he spoke again.

"Relax, will you. Everything's fine. Bella fell asleep, that's all. She's right next to me and I'm driving as we speak."

"Oh."

"Don't sound so surprised," he said, his voice scathing. "You didn't really think I'd let anything happen to her, did you?"

"No. If I had, I wouldn't have let her go."

"_Let_ her?" he spat, indignant. "You know, I'm getting a little tired of this controlling thing you've got going on. At some point, Bella's gonna get tired of it too."

"That's not your concern. And, as I'm sure you know, Bella is perfectly capable of speaking her mind. If she's having a problem with my behavior, she'll tell me."

"Yeah, well, I'd wait in line and buy tickets to be at that show," he muttered. "Anyway, we'll be to the line in a few minutes. I assume you don't want me to just drive her home myself?"

"There will be no need for that. I'm pulling up right now."

"Of course you are."

With that, the phone went silent. I parked the car and waited with as much patience as I could muster. I saw headlights at the same moment I heard a string of insults from Jacob's mind. It was easier to ignore them once Bella was in my sight. I could see her sleeping form in the passenger's seat, and a moment after the car stopped, she startled herself awake.

I listened silently as Jacob explained that he had called me for her. I waited patiently while they exchanged pleasantries regarding the evening, but when Jacob starting talking about how nice it was having her there with him, I got out of the car and started to pace.

"Yeah, he's not so patient, is he?" I heard him say. "Go ahead. But come back soon, okay?"

I bit back a snarl, though even I knew it was unjustified. The smile on her face told me she'd had a good time, and as far as I could tell, there wasn't anything wrong with her. Jacob had fulfilled his end of the bargain and kept her safe, so at least as far as Bella was concerned, I couldn't fault him.

They exchanged good-nights and Bella rushed toward me, smiling widely in the darkness. Her radiance lit up the night sky.

"Bella," I breathed as I scooped her up. I never fully realized how empty I felt without her until she was in my arms again.

"Hi. Sorry I'm so late. I fell asleep and – "

"I know. Jacob explained," I said, stopping her. There was no reason for her to apologize. "Are you tired? I could carry you," I offered as she walked, still half asleep, beside me.

"I'm fine."

"Let's get you home and in bed. Did you have a nice time?"

"Yeah – it was amazing, Edward." Despite her exhaustion, I could see the spark of excitement in her eyes. "I wish you could have come. I can't even explain it. Jake's dad told us the old legends and it was like... like magic."

I watched her brilliant smile, and for one fleeting moment, nothing mattered – not werewolves, rivalries, treaties or boundary lines. In that instant, Bella's happiness transcended it all.

"You'll have to tell me about it," I said, smiling. "After you've slept."

"I won't get it right," she mumbled, yawning. I laughed as I buckled her in, hoping she could get some more sleep on the drive home.

_Until next time, leech, _Jacob thought as he pulled away. Bella waved at him, but he was too busy glaring at me to notice. I smiled to myself as I realized this would always be his biggest mistake. He was too busy hating me to think about what that hate was doing to Bella. I'd paid enough attention to know she was happier when we at least tried to get along.

As I'd hoped, Bella drifted back off to sleep, and I was able to set up the evening's plans. I knew she was uncomfortable with the precautions I was taking, worrying that she was putting us out, but my family was more than willing to go to whatever lengths necessary to keep her safe. After all, we still didn't know precisely what we were up against.

I dialed the number without taking my eyes off of Bella. Even after all our nights together, I never tired of watching her sleep.

"We're almost to Bella's house," I said when I had Esme on the phone. "I won't be long tonight, I just need to bring the car home then I'll be heading right back. Is Alice on her way?"

"Actually, I am. Alice went with Jasper, along with Rose and Emmett. They're going to check out the situation in Seattle."

"Has something new happened?"

"Just more of the same. There have been several more deaths. Carlisle is worried the Volturi will intervene at any time, and the last thing we want right now is them stopping in for a visit."

I fought back the growl building in my chest. They were the only ones even more eager than Bella for her to join our race. For Aro, the reason wasn't simply because she was a human who knew too much. He'd taken a particular liking to her, speculating what special abilities she would have after her transformation, given her mind's strange ability to block his and my powers.

"Is Carlisle in Seattle, too?"

"No. He's working late at the hospital tonight. We had hoped to go there together in the morning. Will you need one of us to keep watch while you run home tomorrow morning?"

I sighed. "I suppose it isn't really necessary. I'll only be gone a few minutes and I'm sure Jacob is close by. No one is going to get past him."

She smiled, obviously satisfied. "Thank you. I really think its best if we all go."

"It's hard to believe how out of control this has gotten, and how fast."

"I know. Let's hope it ends just as quickly. Maybe if whoever is responsible sees us and realizes they're being watched, they'll move on."

I was silent. We both knew the chances of that were slim. If we were in fact dealing with newborns, they wouldn't be thinking rationally enough to care that they were being monitored.

"I'll see you in a few minutes," I finally said.

"I'm on my way."

Esme was already at the house when we pulled up. And so was Jacob. I couldn't see him, but I could hear him. As soon as he realized I was there, he went back to trying to block me by thinking about inconsequential things, slipping in an occasional insult now and again. It was getting surprisingly easy to ignore him.

"Bella, sweetheart, we're home."

"What?" she muttered.

"You just need to wake up enough to get inside and say goodnight to Charlie, then you can fall right back to sleep in my arms."

"He's going to be mad I'm so late," she said, waking up slightly.

"Jacob called him as well, so he wasn't worried. He's not upset at all." Charlie was never upset when Jacob was involved. I wondered how he would feel if he knew Jacob's secret, though I had a feeling consorting with werewolves would still rank higher than dating a vampire on his list of acceptable activities.

"I'll see you soon?" Bella asked with a smile.

"Very soon," I promised, kissing her.

I drove home as fast as my car would take me and ran back at record speed. Esme smiled warmly at me when I came up beside her.

"Anything to report?" I asked.

"Besides the presence of Bella's own personal watchdog?" she teased.

"Persistent, isn't he?"

"He cares about her." Her voice was chiding and I could sense her mothering instinct taking over. She was the only one of us who managed to harbor absolutely no ill will towards the wolves.

"I know he does," I sighed.

"And this is Bella we're talking about. It doesn't hurt to have an extra set of eyes watching over her, at least until she's strong enough to take care of herself."

She raised a knowing eyebrow at me and I couldn't help but smile. Even with Alice's visions and Jasper's empathy, somehow Esme always seemed to know me just a little better than the rest of my family. She knew that no matter what I felt about Jacob personally, a part of me would always be grateful to him for helping take care of Bella, both now and when I'd been absent. She also knew that no longer having any need to keep him around was, in my mind, just about the most appealing aspect of what life would be after Bella's transformation.

"I'll let you know if I hear anything from Alice."

"Thank you. And thanks for coming over here tonight."

"I'm happy to do it. Tell Bella 'pleasant dreams' for me."

"I will."

As I climbed noiselessly through Bella's window, I thought I heard a low howl from somewhere in the darkness.

"Is Jacob out there?" Bella asked, and I wondered for a moment if she'd heard it too.

"Yes... somewhere. And Esme's on her way home."

The look on her face made me wish I hadn't said anything, though I couldn't understand why she wasn't happier knowing she was never left without someone keeping watch.

"It's so cold and wet. This is silly," she complained.

"It's only cold to _you_, Bella."

She looked like she wanted to protest, but instead, she yawned. I smiled, pulling her into my embrace.

"You've had a long night and you need your sleep."

She nodded, yawning again as she trudged to the bathroom for her nightly routine. Her eyes were half closed when she came back, and she crawled into bed, pulling me toward her drowsily. I held her tightly to me, wishing as she drifted to sleep that her thick quilt weren't necessary. I wanted to be closer, but I also didn't want her shivering from the cold.

"Esme wishes you pleasant dreams. As do I, my love," I whispered, but she'd already slipped back into unconsciousness.

Despite our wishes for only happy dreams, Bella slept restlessly, murmuring incoherently for hours before finally settling into what seemed to be a dreamless state. I ran my fingers through her silky hair and sang softly to her, hoping to coax her nightmares away. Eventually her breathing slowed and she grew silent.

When I was certain my movement wouldn't disturb her, I turned to the book that was sitting on her nightstand. I was always curious what story was currently occupying her mind, and I wasn't surprised to find _Wuthering Heights _sitting there, tattered and worn from its countless readings.

I knew she'd been reading it again, though I couldn't understand why. I always thought that in order for a story to be enjoyable, the reader needed to be able to relate to the characters in at least some small way. Heathcliff and Catherine were cruel, selfish, and spiteful, everything Bella's not, and I didn't comprehend her fascination with their relationship. Determined to find some redeemable quality in the characters Bella seemed to love so much, I picked up her worn copy and started reading.

I'd read it before, of course – there are few of the classics I hadn't read during my years of endless nights – but this time, I was surprised to find myself commiserating with Heathcliff. Though I could never condone his drastic actions, I had to admit I understood him better than I ever had before. He'd been forced to watch the woman he loved choose someone else, and the jealously had driven him mad. The extremes to which that particular emotions can drive a person had always been somewhat lost on me, but since Bella, I'd started to gain a new understanding.

Still, no matter how jealous, how miserable he had been watching his beloved Catherine in the arms of another, while Edgar remained in her favor, nothing could make Heathcliff act on a desire to harm him. As long as Heathcliff believed Catherine to be happy with Edgar, he would do nothing to disturb that happiness.

Just as I knew I would never harm Jacob, even if Bella were to have chosen him over me.

In the stillness of the night, as if Bella had figured out how to read _my _mind, her eyes shot open and her body shook. She pressed her warm cheek against my chest and breathed deeply.

"Did I wake you?" I asked quietly, dropping her book carelessly in my attempt to hold her close. She seemed so distressed.

"No," she said, relaxing almost instantly as I wrapped my arms around her. "I had a bad dream."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"Too tired," she muttered. "Maybe in the morning, if I remember."

"In the morning."

"What were you reading?" she asked, her eyes already closed again.

I felt like a child who had been caught doing something they weren't supposed to, though I couldn't entirely explain the feeling.

"_Wuthering Heights,_" I admitted softly, hoping she'd already fallen back asleep.

"I thought you didn't like that book."

"You left it out." Her breathing slowed and I could tell she was very nearly asleep again. Then, for some reason, I wanted her to understand. I needed her to know that no matter what pain it put me through – even if it meant tolerating that _mongrel _for as long as he lived – I would always put Bella's happiness before my own. "Besides..." I continued, wondering if she was still listening, "the more time I spend with you, the more human emotions seems comprehensible to me. I'm discovering that I can sympathize with Heathcliff in ways I didn't think possible before."

"Mmm," she breathed.

"I swore I'd never hurt you, so as long as you care about him, as long as it's in my power, I will never hurt him."

I waited for a response, some sign that she trusted what I was telling her, but her steady breathing told me she was asleep once more. I listened carefully, making sure her previous nightmare didn't return, but the rest of the night passed without a sound. When the first glimpse of light shone through her window, Bella started to stir.

"Good morning, my darling," I whispered as she nuzzled into the crook of my arm.

"Always, when you're here," she said, smiling up at me through still tired eyes.

"Do you want to tell me about your dream now?"

"I don't remember much about it. I know there was a storm and I was cold. I'm pretty sure I was on the beach, and I think Jake was there." She stopped, her eyes suddenly wide and a little embarrassed.

"Go on," I encouraged, making sure my expression was still relaxed.

"That's it, really. The rest is kind of a blur. I just know I was relieved when I woke up, and I was happy you were here to warm me up."

I laughed. "_I _warmed you up?" I asked skeptically. "But I'm freezing."

She ducked her eyes away from me, blushing, and I realized what she meant.

"Your skin might be," she said shyly, "but I still feel warm and safe when you're here with me."

"I'm always here, Bella," I said, leaning down to press my lips to hers. I felt her warmth against my skin as her heart started to speed up. I was enjoying the moment, thrilled as I always was that she was so unwilling to let me go. But when her breathing started to grow erratic and her fingers laced into my hair, I realized I would again have to be the one to stop.

"I'll be back soon," I promised, trying not to see the disappointment on her face as I pulled away.

I ran quickly home, and when I arrived to find my house empty, I remembered that the rest of my family was in Seattle. I felt somewhat guilty as I remembered Esme's words.

_ I really think its best if we all go._

My whole family was in Seattle, doing their best to get the situation under control, while I stayed in Forks. Of course they understood there was no way I was leaving Bella unprotected, but I still wished there was something I could do to help.

Just as I was about to call Alice, I saw a note in her handwriting on top of the piano.

_Edward, we're fine. Stop worrying. Go be with Bella. I know you want to help, but remember, we're doing this for her, too. You are helping us by keeping her safe. _

I smiled, thankful as I often was that there was really no point arguing with Alice.


	10. Time EPOV

A/N: Hello, hope everyone's Thanksgiving was wonderful! Soooooo, New Moon was fantastic, I really couldn't be happier. Hope you all had fun at your various viewings, and YAY for only having to wait 7 months for Eclipse. In the meantime, enjoy my next installment, and thanks again for all the reviews. You guys make my smile so much! :)

Thanks again to shasta53 for proofing.

**Time – EPOV**

_ Why does Bella have to be the only person on the face of the planet who hates parties? _

It was the end of the day and Alice, Bella, and I were walking toward the car. I'd been idly tracing patterns on the back of Bella's hand when I noticed the longing on Alice's face. I raised one eyebrow at her and she sighed.

_A surprise party really would be so much more fun, but if we spring it on her without any warning, she's going to pretend to get food poisoning and end up hiding in your room all night._ _Oh, well. At least she's going to let me pick out her outfit. _

Her expression softened slightly as I rolled my eyes.

Always more perceptive than I give her credit for, Bella looked up at me then, questions in her eyes. I smiled reassuringly at her before shooting a pointed glance at Alice. It was time to tell Bella what she was planning. The last thing I wanted was Bella thinking something was wrong. She always grew paranoid when she knew things were being said that she couldn't hear.

_All right, I'll ask her now,_ Alice thought, skipping to Bella's side. _So impatient for someone with endless time on their hands..._

I'd decided it would be best for Alice to broach the subject of the party herself. After all, it was nearly impossible to say no to Alice's wild plans when she told you that you'd already agreed to them.

"I have foreseen..." she said mysteriously, and Bella's breath caught. I threw my elbow at Alice. So much for making Bella feel better.

"Fine," she said. "Edward is making me do this. But I _did _foresee that you would be more difficult if I surprised you."

"In English?" Bella asked warily.

"Don't be a baby about this. No tantrums."

"Now I'm scared."

"So you're – I mean _we're – _having a graduation party. It's no big thing. Nothing to freak out over. But I saw that you _would _freak out if I tried to make it a surprise party." _I mean really, talk about taking things for granted. I wish someone could surprise _me _with a party, but unless someone spontaneously decides..._

I reached out to Alice playfully, breaking her from her rant. I actually wished there _was _a way to surprise Alice. It would be entertaining to see the look on her face when she realized someone was finally one step ahead of her.

"And Edward said I had to tell you," she continued. "But it's nothing. Promise."

Bella looked utterly defeated. "Is there any point in arguing?"

"None at all," Alice answered angelically.

"Okay, Alice. I'll be there. And I'll hate every minute of it. Promise."

Although I knew she was being purposely difficult, I couldn't help but wonder if the party was a mistake. Was I once again pushing her into something she had no interest in, simply because I thought it was an important experience?

"That's the spirit!" Alice said enthusiastically. I would have almost believed it if it weren't for the fact that she was simultaneously thinking, _so stubborn. _"By the way, I love my gift. You shouldn't have."

"Alice, I didn't!"

"Oh, I know that. But you will."

Bella's eyes widened in panic and I shot another glare at Alice.

_What? I just thought she'd like to know how much I'm looking forward to the concert. You know, so she doesn't have to worry about whether or not I'll like it._

"Amazing," I sighed. "How can someone so tiny be so annoying?"

"It's a talent."

"Couldn't you have waited a few weeks to tell me about this?" Bella asked, obviously irritated. "Now I'll just be stressed that much longer."

_She has no idea how close it is_, Alice thought unconsciously, her mind slipping for one brief second to a vision of Bella's transformation before looking at me apologetically. She was so eager to welcome Bella officially into our family, and it always seemed like Bella was just as eager, so we were both shocked that she hadn't literally been counting down the days.

"Bella," she asked cautiously. "Do you know what day it is?"

"Monday?"

Alice rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Yes. It is Monday... the fourth," she said, whirling her around so she was staring at one of the many posters announcing the graduation date. Bella looked like she was seeing it for the first time, but for weeks now, the posters had been taunting me. Every day, they reminded me with silent finality that Bella's heartbeats were numbered.

"It's the fourth? _Of June?_ Are you sure?" she asked, panicked.

_She's afraid, Edward. But she isn't changing her mind._

Alice answered the question before I'd even finished thinking it. Of course I knew Bella's mind was made up, but the look of terror on her face was enough to make me momentarily question her resolve. Now I felt my own eyes widen in surprise.

"It can't be!" she gasped. "How did that happen?"

_Get her walking again. She's upset, and you should get her somewhere you two can actually talk. She might slip and say something she shouldn't if we stay here._

I carefully took Bella's elbow and motioned her toward the parking lot. We walked quickly and I counted every one of her breaths, which were coming in short, shallow gasps. When we were inside the car, I noticed that the fear on Bella's face had been replaced by a strangely vacant stare.

Eventually, as Alice started babbling about party details, Bella's expression twisted back into one of confusion and concern. She looked like she was trying to figure out the answer to a difficult math equation, and I figured whatever panic she'd felt at her impending graduation had turned back into worry over the social event she was being forced into.

She was silent, even after we'd dropped Alice off at home. Her eyes were glazed over and she looked exhausted. We pulled up to her house and I watched her carefully as we exited the car. She looked like she was counting her steps, concentrating on each one. Once we were inside, I guided her to the couch and sat her down beside me. She stared absently out the window as I stroked the back of her hand, wondering where her thoughts had taken her. Was she really that upset about the party?

Maybe she was worried because she'd misunderstood the reason we were having it. Perhaps she thought I was trying to strengthen the bond she shared with her friends, to give her a reason to delay her transformation. In truth, I was doing the opposite. As much as it pained me to admit it, this party signified the end. I was giving her a chance to say her goodbyes.

Several times, it looked like she was about to say something, but she always stopped herself, looking past me rather than meeting my gaze. When I was sure I couldn't take it anymore, I let out a deep sigh.

"Would you please tell me what you are thinking?" I pleaded. "_Before _I go mad?"

Once again, she opened her mouth in what appeared to be an attempt at speech, but just as quickly, she shut it again. Her eyes were almost apologetic, and I wondered if she was about to back out of the party altogether.

"Your lips are white. Talk, Bella."

She let out a long breath, and when she spoke, her voice was shaking.

"The date took me off guard. That's all."

I waited, feeling the sudden weight of words she didn't want to say out loud.

"I'm not sure what to do... what to tell Charlie... what to say... how to... " Though she was struggling with what she was trying to say, I understood.

"This isn't about the party?"

"No. But thanks for reminding me."

She watched me with a look I wasn't used to seeing – she was afraid. It was nothing like the fear I used to assume I would see when she realized what I was or what I was capable of. She'd never been afraid of me the way she should have. Yet now here she was, true fear behind her eyes, and the reason for that fear was because she was about to get what she'd sworn she wanted more than anything.

"You're not ready," I said softly, trying with all my might to assure her that was okay.

"I am," she said unconvincingly, her voice still trembling. She wanted to appear brave, and it pained me to see her try so hard. "I have to be," she continued firmly.

"You don't have to be anything," I promised her.

Her eyes turned glassy as she whispered, "Victoria, Jane, Caius, whoever was in my room..."

All the people who were trying to harm her, all the dangers I'd brought upon her...

"All the more reason to wait," I said, almost to myself. I would _not _allow her to end her life because she thought it was the only way she would be safe. I'd hunt them all down myself before I let her be frightened into this decision. This is her life we were talking about, her humanity, her _soul_, and if she was having even the slightest of doubts, then promise or no promise, all bets were off. We would waiting until she's ready.

"That doesn't make any sense, Edward!"

I held her face in my hands, so fragile, so warm and perfect. I hated that she was afraid. I hated that she didn't trust I could protect her. I hated that she felt she had no way out, no choice but immortality.

"Bella. Not one of us had a choice. You've seen what it's done... to Rosalie especially. We've all struggled, trying to reconcile ourselves with something we had no control over. I won't let it be that way for you. You _will_ have a choice."

I'd started to come to terms with Bella's decision because I was so sure it was what she truly wanted. But the terror in her eyes could not be ignored. There was at least some measure of doubt behind her determination, and until I saw that absolute certainty once again, I would not allow the change to happen.

"I've already made my choice," Bella said, her voice only slightly more calm.

"You aren't going through with this because a sword is hanging over your head. We will take care of the problems, and I will take care of you. When we're through it, and there is nothing forcing your hand, then you can decide to join me, if you still want to. But not because you're afraid. You won't be forced into this." My eyes were locked with hers and I hoped she felt the absolute certainty there.

"Carlisle promised," she said stubbornly, though her words didn't have the same air of finality as they usually did. "After graduation."

"Not until you're ready," I repeated. "And definitely not while you feel threatened."

The look on her face was frustration mixed with defeat, and I knew the conversation was over. At least for the moment.

"There," I said, pressing my lips to her forehead. She relaxed only slightly beneath my touch. "Nothing to worry about."

"Nothing but impending doom," she halfheartedly teased.

"Trust me."

"I do."

She'd always trusted me to keep her out of harm's way, even when it seemed nearly impossible to do so, yet I heard the way her heart was racing. Even with my speed and strength, nothing was certain. It made me ache that I would never be able to completely take her fear away. Not without making her indestructible, that is.

"Can I ask you something?" she finally said after a very weighted silence.

"Anything."

She paused for a moment as if what she was about to ask was difficult, so I was surprised when she asked, "What am I getting Alice for graduation?"

I laughed at the fact that no matter what catastrophe was currently upon us, she could always find something trivial to worry about.

"It looked like you were getting us both concert tickets – "

"That's right! The concert in Tacoma. I saw an ad in the paper last week, and I thought it would be something you'd like, since you said it was a good CD."

"It's a great idea. Thank you."

"I hope it's not sold out."

"It's the thought that counts. I ought to know." And seeing as Alice had already picked out what she was going to wear to the show, I assumed Bella would be able to get tickets. Knowing I would rather spend the evening with Bella, I'd already hinted to Jasper that I would bequeath mine to him, and he and Alice could have an evening out together.

Bella let out a long breath, and when I noticed she wasn't looking me in the eye, I realized her question about the gift had merely been buying her time. What was she afraid to ask?

"There's something else you meant to ask," I prompted her.

"You're good."

"I have lots of practice reading your face. Ask me."

She scooted closer to me and ducked her head down, pressing her cheek to my chest. I could feel her heart pounding as she built up the courage to ask whatever it was that was troubling her. As they always did when I was wishing I could just read her mind, the seconds felt like they were dragging on.

When she finally spoke, her voice was trembling, and there was a sadness behind it that I seldom heard. "You don't want me to be a vampire."

"No, I don't," I said simply. To wish for such a thing, even when it seemed to be the only way to ensure our forever, would be unthinkable.

I expected her to complain or argue with me, but instead she sat quietly, looking almost embarrassed, though I couldn't understand why.

"That's not a question," I finally said, when I couldn't take the silence any longer.

"Well..." she started, her cheeks blazing hot, "I was worrying about... _why _you feel that way."

"Worrying?" Why would my desire to preserve her humanity cause her to worry? Although I knew she wanted us to be the same, I thought she understood my reasons. I thought I'd made it clear a thousand times over how precious her life, her heart, her soul, _everything _about her was to me. I'd be a murderer and a thief, worse than the monster I already knew myself to be, if I were to take everything from her purely for my own selfish desires.

"Would you tell me why?" she asked, her voice unsteady and genuinely concerned. "The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?"

I was baffled. Why would I hide any of my reasons, and how could any of them hurt her? They could only prove my love for her more completely.

"If I answer your question, will you then _explain _your question?"

She nodded, though she still wouldn't look into my eyes. I took a deep breath before starting, worried now that I would somehow offend her without meaning to. I couldn't stand knowing how much this was hurting her, when all I ever wanted was to protect her, preserve her perfection.

"You could do so much better, Bella," I started, but the words didn't sound like enough. It was the most absurd understatement I'd ever uttered. "I know that _you _believe I have a soul, but I'm not entirely convinced on that point, and to risk yours..." I couldn't continue, couldn't make myself speak of the travesty that seemed so imminent. She'd made her choice, there was no way to deny her, but saying it out loud would give it more finality than I could handle.

I shook my head, turning the focus back to myself. It was what she wanted to know – why _I _didn't want this for her, even when it would solve so many of the obstacles we faced by being together.

"For me to allow this – to let you become what I am just so that I'll never have to lose you – is the most selfish act I can imagine. I want it more than anything, for _myself._ But for you, I want so much more. Giving in – it feels criminal. It's the most selfish thing I'll ever do, even if I live forever. If there were any way for me to become human for you – no matter what the price was, I would pay it."

I hadn't known what brought on her question, or why she was _worried _about my answer, so I had no way of knowing how she would react to my answer. It was more honest than I'd allowed myself to be with her – more honest even than I was with myself most of the time – and admitting that changing her was what my heart truly desired tore me apart. Could she forgive me for my selfish desires if she understood the only reason I wanted it was because I couldn't live without her? I looked down at her, terrified of what I would see on her face now that she knew, and was startled to find she was smiling.

"So... it's not that you're afraid you won't... like me as much when I'm different – when I'm not soft and warm and I don't smell the same? You really do want to keep me, no matter how I turn out?"

"You were worried I wouldn't _like _you?" I gasped, disbelieving even as I repeated her words. A part of me was furious at myself, because if she could think such a thing then I must not be doing enough to assure her of my love. It had never crossed my mind that she took my refusal to change her to mean I was questioning that I wanted her by my side forever. Then as quickly as my self-loathing had set in, it passed, and I found myself laughing. Whether at the ridiculousness of her assumption or out of sheer relief I wasn't sure.

"Bella, for a fairly intuitive person, you can be so obtuse!"

She stared at me, uncomprehending for a moment. Then slowly, a smile tugged at her lips. I still didn't understand how she could have been so worried, when I'd told her time and again that I couldn't live without her. Certainly my trip to Volterra last year should have been proof enough of that.

"I don't think you realize how much easier it will be for me, Bella, when I don't have to concentrate all the time on not killing you." I used to shy away from saying the word out loud, but for some reason it seemed important to say it now. After thinking I'd lost her forever, controlling the blood lust had become significantly easier. The instinct to keep her safe had long ago triumphed over the instinct to satiate my own desires, but that didn't mean it wasn't still painful. Now that I knew Bella was concerned I wouldn't like her when she was changed, I wanted to remind her that taking away the temptation of her blood would grant me a release from the agony I thought I would always have to endure.

Still, for every happiness, there is a sacrifice.

"Certainly, there are things I'll miss," I said sadly, brushing my fingers across her cheek as I tried to memorize the exact feel of her soft, warm skin. "This for one..."

She blushed under my touch and I laughed in spite of myself, as I thought about a time when her reactions wouldn't be so obvious to me. Would I still be able to read her when I no longer had her racing heart and blushing cheeks telling me how she felt? I hoped I would, though the thought of finding new ways to understand and know her excited me as well.

"And the sound of your heart," I said, focusing in on it, luxuriating in its melody. I'd spent so long listening, counting the beats, I could hardly fathom a world without it. "It's the most significant sound in my world. I'm so attuned to it now, I swear I could pick it out from miles away. But neither of these things matter. _This,_" I said, cradling her face. My one love. My reason for everything. "_You. _That's what I'm keeping. You'll always be my Bella, you'll just be a little more durable."

She closed her eyes, peaceful and serene as I traced my fingertips across her skin. Soon, I would never have to worry about losing her again. She would be mine, forever.

Except...

She'd asked her question, and I had one of my own. I was both anxious and nervous to bring up the subject again, but as graduation grew nearer everyday, I knew my time was running out.

"Now will you answer a question for me? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?" I asked, using the words she'd chosen. She'd been upfront about her concerns, and my total and absolute honesty in answering her had put her mind at ease. I hoped that my own concerns were just as unfounded, and that she could offer me an answer that would grant me the same relief.

"Of course," she said quickly.

Now that the moment was upon me, I instantly wanted to take it back. I wasn't sure if I was ready for her answer. I took a deep breathe and uttered the words that had been eating away at me since she had refused my proposal.

"You don't want to be my wife." It was amazing how much it hurt to say it aloud.

She gasped and I heard her heart jump, skipping a beat while she regained her composure. After a moment, she said, "That's not a question," throwing my own words from earlier back to me. I slowly laced my fingers with hers, continuing in the same manner.

"I was worrying about why you felt that way," I repeated.

"That's not a question, either," she said, stalling. We could keep dancing around what we both knew I was asking, but every second she evaded me, my silent heart seemed to break further. She said she wanted forever, yet I couldn't stop the little voice in the back of my mind from repeating, _she doesn't want to be your wife..._

"Please, Bella?" I begged.

"The truth?" she said, barely whispering.

"Of course. I can take it, whatever it is." I prepared myself for the worst. If she told me right then that all she really wanted was to be a vampire – to be safe, to be immortal, without worry, never afraid – I knew I would grant it to her. Whether she wanted _me _forever or not, I desired nothing more than for her to be happy.

"You're going to laugh at me," she said.

That was highly unlikely. It was hard to think of anything that could be amusing about my beloved explaining why she was willing to give up her soul but wouldn't let me put a ring on her finger.

"Laugh? I cannot imagine that," I said dryly.

"You'll see," she said, pausing before blushing wildly once again. Then, although I hadn't said another word, her expression twisted and contorted until she finally shouted, "Okay, fine! I'm sure this will sound like some big joke to you, but really! It's just so...so... so _embarrassing_!" She sounded almost guilty as she averted her gaze once more, which didn't ease my mind any.

"I'm not following you," I hedged.

She leaned back until her eyes were locked with mine, and I was utterly dumbfounded by her expression. She looked furious, and I suddenly wondered if everything was somehow even worse than I'd imagined. I'd barely been able to handle the knowledge that she didn't want to marry me, but now I was left wondering if she was actually _offended _by the idea. I was shocked and hurt, and wishing more than anything that we could go back to her simply saying, "no."

"I'm not _that girl_, Edward," she snapped, her tone more biting than I'd ever heard. "The one who gets married right out of high school like some small-town hick who got knocked up by her boyfriend! Do you know what people would think? Do you realize what century this is? People don't just get married at eighteen! Not smart people, not responsible, mature people! I wasn't going to be that girl! That's not who I am..."

I waited for her to say she didn't want to be my wife, waited for the part about not wanting to promise her _forever_ to a selfish monster like me. But it never came.

There might have been more to her frantic explanation, or maybe I just didn't hear it. All I could think about at that moment was the fact that the reason Bella had said no had nothing to do with me. It didn't really even have anything to do with her. She was worried about what people would think, and if she stopped to consider the fact that those people she was concerned about weren't going to have any place in her new life, maybe she'd find that there was nothing stopping her from saying yes.

I realized a moment later she was staring at me, obviously awaiting my reaction to her confession.

"That's all?" I asked blankly, probably sounding like a complete fool.

"Isn't that enough?"

"It's not that you were... more eager for immortality itself than for just me?"

"Edward!" she said, laughing and sputtering as I listened in disbelief. "And here... I always... thought that... you were... so much... _smarter_ than me!"

I pulled her into my arms and laughed along with her as the weight of the world seemed to lift from my shoulders. Apparently we were both total fools, worrying needlessly when all we really needed to do was listen to and trust in each other.

"Edward," she breathed, nuzzling closer to me as I basked in her radiating warmth and love. "There's no point to forever without you. I wouldn't want one day without you."

"Well, that's a relief," I sighed.

"Still..." she said, a hint of g uilt creeping back into her voice, "it doesn't change anything."

"It's nice to understand, though. And I do understand your perspective, Bella, truly I do. But I'd like it very much if you'd try to consider mine."

She nodded cautiously. I wanted so much for her to see things through my eyes, just for this one moment. She said she wanted eternity with me, but there was one problem. She had no real concept of what eternity felt like.

I did.

I'd had nearly a hundred years to ponder what forever truly felt like, and most of those years I'd spent assuming I would always be alone. She couldn't possibly comprehend how completely she'd changed my existence, because she was still mortal. Time meant something entirely different to her. I knew I wanted her forever, because I knew how forever had felt without her. The idea of eternity seemed unbearable before Bella, yet because of her, it now felt like a gift.

I wanted her to understand, but we were from such different worlds – different times. In her world, the idea of getting married at eighteen was absurd. Where I'd grown up, in my time, it was to be expected.

"You see, Bella, I was always _that boy._ In my world, I was already a man. I wasn't looking for love – no, I was far too eager to be a soldier for that; I thought of nothing but the idealized glory of the war that they were selling prospective draftees then – but if I had found..." I paused, unable to simply say _someone_ because I knew that whether a hundred years ago or a hundred years in my future, I was only ever meant to find Bella. She was the only one who could make my existence worthwhile.

"I was going to say if I had found _someone,_ but that won't do. If I had found _you, _there isn't a doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I was _that boy_, who would have – as soon as I discovered that you were what I was looking for – gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have quite the same connotations."

Her eyes were wide with astonishment and possibly a touch of nervousness, but I wasn't the slightest bit sorry. She needed to understand where I was coming from, why in my mind, there was absolutely no reason not to marry her. I knew down to the very soul she was sure I still possessed that she was all I would ever need.

"Breathe, Bella," I said gently when I realized she hadn't moved. She took one slow, forced breath.

"Can you see my side, Bella, even a little bit?" I asked. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but for one brief second I could swear I saw a flicker of excitement in her eyes.

"The thing is, Edward, in my mind, _marriage_ and _eternity _are not mutually exclusive or inclusive concepts. And since we're living in my world for the moment," she argued with a smirk, "maybe we should go with the times, if you know what I mean."

So stubborn. The whole reason we were having this discussion in the first place was because she was adamantly determined to _leave _her world and join mine. All things considered, it really wasn't fair for her to bring human logic and standards into it at all.

"But on the other hand, you will soon be leaving time behind you altogether. So why should the transitory customs of one local culture affect the decision so much?"

"When in Rome?" she pressed, but I think even she knew it was a moot point. I laughed at her indignant expression, momentarily content that we were at least getting our feelings on the matter out in the open. I wasn't expecting her to change her mind that instant. In fact, I would have been a little disappointed if she had. After all, I still hadn't proposed to her properly, and since this was something I was only going to do once, I didn't want to miss the opportunity.

"You don't have to say yes or no today, Bella. It's good to understand both sides, though, don't you think?"

"So your condition...?"

"Is still in effect." I tried not to think about how formal it all felt. Terms and conditions – it was starting to sound more like a business arrangement than two people in love discussing their future together.

"I do see your point, Bella," I assured her, "but if you want me to change you myself..."

_Would you first do me the honor of becoming my wife? Be mine, as I am yours, __forever?_

How simple it would have been to open the floodgate and let the words pour out. But Bella was already humming the wedding march, and it was impossible to ignore the fact that there was no joy in her tone. She wasn't ready, and I couldn't handle being turned down again.

So I would wait. For as long as she needed me to. Fortunately, I had plenty to distract me. During the brief times I was at home, Alice was babbling a constant stream of party details, and when she wasn't saying them out loud, she was thinking them. I'd stopped responding to her, because it was simply too difficult to keep track of what she was and wasn't saying out loud. I wasn't even sure she knew anymore.

"The flowers will be here tomorrow, and they'll be perfect except for one small bouquet that will be slightly wilted, I'll have to take care of that immediately." _How hard is it to deliver fresh flowers, anyway? _"And I've seen what you're planning on wearing, Edward. It's simply dreadful. Have I taught you nothing in our decades together?" _Did you start taking fashion advice from Bella, because really, that's being rather counterproductive. _"I don't know why I even bother anymore." _She's not a lost cause, though. She's going to have much better fashion sense after..._

Alice finally stopped, mid sentence or mid thought, when she noticed I was glaring at her.

"What?" she asked innocently. "I didn't think we were still tiptoeing around the subject, seeing as graduation is in a few days."

She smiled angelically and flitted out the front door, probably on her way to pick up even more unnecessary decorations. She knew as well as I did that while the tentative date for Bella's transformation was set, everything depended on Bella's final decision regarding my condition – a decision which Alice still swore to me she hadn't officially made yet.

Every time I tried to decipher anything Alice might have seen, _anything _that would tell me whether another more formal proposal would grant me the answer I desired, she found a new and increasingly more irritating way of blocking me. She was hiding something, and was being even more diligent about it than usual.

Bella certainly wasn't giving me any insight. Our conversation about our differing views on marriage had felt so open and honest, I had fully expected to hear something about it in her dreams, and for our discussion to continue on into the following morning. Instead, she'd slept silently that night, and when I'd returned from my morning run home, I found her absently pushing around her cereal and starting with glassy eyes at the newspaper. I watched her for a few moments, trying to read her expression. There was definite concern in her eyes as she scanned the print on the page, and I knocked softly, hoping to grant her relief from whatever tragedy she was reading about.

"Bella?" I said when she didn't lift her gaze from the page.

She jumped, her eyes frantic and panicked, as she turned to look at me. I was instantly remorseful at having made her obvious anxiety worse, and I hurried over to hold her hand in mine.

"Did I startle you? I'm sorry. I did knock..."

"No, no," she said, her voice shaky as she eyes wandered back to the paper. "Have you seen this?"

**Seattle Terrorized By Slayings**

__"I hadn't seen today's news yet. But I knew it was getting worse. We're going to have to do something... quickly."

Honestly, my family and I had thought all this would be over by now, either by us intervening and convincing whoever was at fault that it was in their best interest to move on, or by the Volturi putting an end to it on their terms. Though Carlisle was still determined there was something we could do, my family hadn't made another trip to Seattle since their first unproductive visit. While they'd had no intention of beginning a fight, they had hoped to at least gain some insight as to what they were up against, yet somehow, whoever was responsible was remarkably good at evading us. It made absolutely no sense if he or she was a newborn. They shouldn't have any real skills – simply an uncontrollable need to feed.

"What does Alice say?" Bella asked, eyes still glued to the headline.

"That's the problem. She can't see anything... though we've made up our minds half a dozen times to check it out. She's starting to lose confidence. She feels like she's missing too much these days, that something's wrong. That maybe her vision in slipping away."

"Can that happen?" she gasped.

"Who knows? No one's ever done a study... but I really doubt it. These things tend to intensify over time. Look at Aro and Jane." Even my own talent, aside from my one baffling exception, seemed to have increased over the years – if not in actual skill, then certainly in my ability to control it. Those first few years were miserable, before I learned to at least somewhat block out the noise.

"Then what's wrong?"

"Self-fulfilling prophecy, I think. We keep waiting for Alice to see something so we can go... and she doesn't see anything because we won't really go until she does. So she can't see us there. Maybe we'll have to do it blind."

"No," she said firmly.

I could see the terror in her eyes, and though I wished we could wait for Alice to see something helpful, our time was running out. We would most likely be taking action whether Alice could get past whatever was blocking her vision or not. If we were dealing with newborns – and despite everything, it still seemed the most likely option – then there was one person who would understand what we were getting ourselves into better than anyone else.

I hated that I would have to bring up the past that he was so determined to forget, but at this point, Jasper was our biggest advantage.

"Did you have a strong desire to attend class today? We're only a couple of days from finals; they won't be giving us anything new."

"I think I can live without school for a day. What are we doing?"

"I want to talk to Jasper."

Bella nodded hesitantly, and I could tell she was curious what roll Jasper would play in the situation, though I doubted she would ask it out loud. We drove in somewhat uncomfortable silence to my house, both of us lost in our own concerns. When we arrived, my family was waiting, watching the TV and hoping they would hear something that would give us a clue.

_Why can't I see anything? Is there something else besides the wolves I can't see? What if I don't see the Volturi coming? What if they're already on their way?_

Alice was sitting on the stairs with an agonized expression on her face. I wished I could say something to make her feel better, but she was thinking the exact thing I was. We all depended so greatly on her abilities, and if she was missing things, it could mean disaster for us.

"Hey, Edward," Emmett said, joining the others. He was smiling, the only one in the room whose mind wasn't consumed with worry. "Ditching, Bella?" he asked lightly.

"We both are," I told him.

"Yes," he laughed, "but it's _her_ first time through high school. She might miss something."

I sighed, simultaneously irritated and thankful that at least one of us was able to keep a positive attitude in the midst of such uncertainty. I looked to Carlisle, giving him the newspaper, and it didn't escape my notice that he wouldn't look me in the eye. He was so used to being the one with the cool head, the one person in my family who never let the rest of us panic. Yet even he was fearing the worst.

"Did you see that they're considering a serial killer now?" I asked.

"They've had two specialists debating that possibility on CNN all morning."

"We can't let this go on."

He glanced at Bella for a split second. _I know. But unless Alice finds a way past whatever is blocking her vision, we don't know who they are, or how many there are. It could turn into a fight so easily, and if they are newborns, they won't care who's watching or what is revealed. Then, when the Volturi come, they'll charge us with breaking the rules as well._

"Let's go now. I'm dead bored," Emmett interrupted. Rosalie hissed from upstairs. "Such a pessimist," he mumbled.

_Not our fight... don't see why we're even bothering. Let the Volturi pay us a visit for all I care._

Finding it harder than usual to ignore Rose, I forced my attention to Emmett.. "We'll have to go sometime."

Suddenly Rosalie was on the top step, looking down at me serenely.

_Well, if we want this over quickly, we could always take Bella with us. She seems to appeal to everyone so much, I'm sure she would lure the newborns right to us._

I very nearly lunged at her, and it took every ounce of strength within me to keep my expression blank. I could tell she was only half joking, and that didn't help matters any.

"I'm concerned," Carlisle said, drawing my focus away from Rose. "We've never involved ourselves in this kind of thing before. It's not our business. We aren't the Volturi."

"I don't want the Volturi to have to come here," I said firmly. "It gives us so much less reaction time."

Carlisle was trying, for my sake, not to think what the rest of my family already was. But even from him I heard, _soon enough, Bella will be immortal and it won't matter if they come._

"And all those innocent humans in Seattle," Esme said, mostly to herself. "It's not right to let them die this way."

"I know," Carlisle said, taking her hand gently.

_I still don't understand the motive, but it's the only thing that makes sense.... _Jasper was staring at the floor, shaking his head slowly. _All the deaths, no regard whatsoever... it's almost like they're practicing for something. And the body count keeps getting higher, like __there are more of them every day. They're staying in one place... waiting for the rest, perhaps? We figured there were several, but an army..._

"Oh," I gasped. "I didn't think of that. I see. You're right, that has to be it. Well, that changes everything." Jasper's head shot up. He met my gaze with wide eyes, and I could see he hadn't realized I'd been listening. He was too caught up in his revelation. I almost apologized to him, but at the same moment, I noticed that the rest of my family was more irritated at the exchange than he was.

_Out loud, Bro? Seriously, come on, _Emmett thought.

_Honestly, how do you expect us to accomplish anything with you and Jasper talking in code, _Rose added.

Alice was staring at me, hurt. _Kind of getting a complex about my abilities, here. Would you mind not flaunting yours? _

Even Carlisle was slightly perturbed. _Now's not the time to be keeping things to yourself, Edward._

"I think you'd better explain to the others," I told Jasper. "What could be the purpose of this?" I muttered.

"What's he rambling about?" Alice asked Jasper. "What are you thinking?"

Jasper watched me, looking somewhat betrayed, and I mouthed, "sorry" to him. He didn't like being the center of attention, and he was looking at the expectant faces that surrounded him nervously. I was about to offer to explain for him, when he thought, _No point in keeping it to myself any longer. Bella should really know the whole story first, though. After all, she's family now._

His expression softened as he turned to Bella, and I was glad she was too focused on him to notice the shock in mine. Jasper hated talking about his past. Did he really care enough about Bella that he wanted her to know his history?

"You're confused," he said gently, eyes fixed on Bella.

"We're all confused," Emmett muttered.

"You can afford the time to be patient. Bella should understand this, too. She's one of us now."

_Let me know when we get to the part I _don't_ already know.... _Emmett rolled his eyes as Jasper turned back to Bella.

"How much do you know about me, Bella?"

"Not much," she whispered.

_Does she know about the newborns, Edward? Does she know how many times I've killed?_

"No. I'm sure you can understand why I haven't told her that story. But I suppose she needs to hear it now."

_Can she handle this?_ he asked, and I gave him a small nod, hoping I was right.

Slowly, Jasper started to roll up his sleeve, and I watched Bella closely as he held his scarred wrist up to the light. It took her a moment, but when she recognized the mark, she gasped.

"Oh. Jasper, you have a scar exactly like mine," she said.

_If it were only one..._ he thought as he revealed more of his mutilated skin.

"Jasper, what _happened_ to you?" she asked as she took in the sheer number of scars. His story held more horror than I wanted her to know, but when I saw the determination on Jasper's face, I knew there was no going back.

Though he never spoke of the exact details, I knew how he'd gotten each and every one of his scars. He kept them hidden beneath clothes, but I knew Alice kissed them all every night, a silent promise that he would never have to feel that kind of pain again. I knew that no matter how many decades passed, Jasper would always be haunted by the violence of his former life, and that as sure as he could never forgive those who had hurt him, he believed nothing could atone for what he'd done.

I held my breath as he started his story, wondering exactly how much Bella would know when it was over.


	11. Newborn EPOV

Hi everybody, and a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Sorry it's been forever... I really wanted to get this to you guys by Christmas, but the holidays were even more hectic than I was expecting. Baby's first Christmas was amazing, and I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season as well! Now, on we go...

Thanks again to shasta53 for help editing :)

**Newborn - EPOV**

With one final glance in my direction – a look filled with both reassurance and apology – Jasper began his story. He knew what I was afraid of, of course he knew. He could _feel _my fear. Not since that first day when I'd brought Bella home and told her about our history had I been so afraid of frightening her away with too much truth. She'd teased me that I was waiting for her to scream and run away, and while she'd always assured me I wasn't as much of a monster as I made myself out to be, there was no denying that, at least for a time, Jasper _had _been. There was more murder and bloodshed in his history than the rest of us combined. Even in my darkest days, I hadn't been a part of anything anywhere near as atrocious as the things Jasper had been surrounded by on a daily basis.

Bella had heard Rosalie's story, and while it was brutal and terrible, what she'd experienced only showed the horrors that man was capable of. Jasper's history encompassed the worst of our kind. As he spoke, I watched her expression carefully, ready to stop him the moment I thought it was too much for her. She needed to understand where he was coming from, but I could hear all that Jasper was prepared to confess. There was no need to give her more nightmares than she already had.

He spoke carefully, reading Bella's emotions as much as I was reading her expression. He painted the picture of the world as it was, as it still is for so many of our kind. A world where humans are nothing more than our food source, red dots on a map as he put it, highlighting the most populated, and therefore most desirable areas. The more humans in one area, the easier it is to feed without anyone noticing.

_Like Seattle, _he added silently, his eyes flickering for an instant in my direction. _I wish it wasn't starting to feel so much like the old days, believe me. But I know how they think. If someone had suddenly tried to claim such a busy city as their own, then why not build an army to defend it? And with humans always finding some explanation, no matter how mysterious the deaths, even an army isn't really risking exposure._

"Not that the covens in the South care much for what the humans notice or do not," he said, both continuing his story aloud, and finishing his silent thoughts to me. I didn't want to admit it, but it all made too much sense. And if it was an army of newborns we were up against, I wasn't sure we would be able to stop them before the Volturi stepped in.

"It's the Volturi that keep them in check," Jasper said, having come to the same conclusion as myself. _And thank goodness for that, _he thought, then quickly added, _sorry_ when he felt my anxiety. Jasper had always been grateful for the existence of the Volturi, and even knowing that they would come to destroy us, to destroy _Bella, _couldn't take away his respect for them.

"They are the only ones the southern covens fear. If not for the Volturi, the rest of us would be quickly exposed." He was still speaking to Bella, but for a moment it felt more like he was defending his feelings toward the Volturi to me. To some extent I could understand. With all the horrors he'd seen, it must have granted him at least a certain amount of peace, knowing there was an end – that there were still rules and limits to what would be tolerated among the power-crazed, ravenous villains he lived with.

Bella listened silently, her breathing steady but shallow, as Jasper explained how different the covens in the South are, compared to those who live up North. They truly lived as vampires, the kind from humans' stories and legends. They came out at night, and had no regard for human life. I kept watching, gauging her reactions, but her expression remained undeniably relaxed, and it wasn't until Jasper spoke of war that she spoke.

"But what are they fighting for?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"Remember the map with the red dots?" he asked her. She nodded nervously, and Jasper sensed how greatly I wanted him to stop.

_She's fine, Edward. I've been keeping a steady calm flowing in her direction, but she barely needs it anymore. She's... fascinated._

Of course she was. When was I ever going to learn that Bella handled the realities of our world far better than I gave her credit for? Still, the way Jasper had been speaking – and I'd appreciated his doing so – everything had sounded distant and story-like. It wasn't until he gave a name to one of the characters, that I saw a flicker of fear in Bella's eyes. When Jasper explained the way Benito had wiped out several covens for the sole purpose of claiming the most populated cities for his personal feeding ground, I heard Bella's heart start to race.

"How did he win?" she asked, voice shaking.

"Benito had created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first one to think of it, and, in the beginning, he was unstoppable. Very young vampires are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control."

I instinctively took at step closer to Bella, anticipating a reaction, though I still wasn't sure what it would be. Would she be scared, knowing that such a thing as a newborn army could exist, and that it was very likely what was causing so many deaths in Seattle? Would she be upset that I'd never told her about any of this? Would she be wondering what _her _first years would be like, and whether or not she would be as wild and unstoppable as those Jasper was describing?

I waited, yet she said nothing. On the surface, she remained the picture of composure. If it weren't for her pounding heart and uneven breathing, I might have believed she was completely unfazed. Jasper told her about the subsequent armies created to battle the army that had already done so much damage. He told her of one of the darkest times in vampires' long history. He told her everything, and she listened with what appeared to be a sort of morbid curiosity.

It didn't escape my notice that Bella visibly flinched every time Jasper mentioned the Volturi, and with good reason. Thinking about them was surely the most difficult part of the story, because while perhaps she could picture, to some extent, the things Jasper had described, the Volturi were already very real to Bella. And while I could assure her we would know long before they came for her, she still feared them above all else.

Still, the Volturi had done their part, and even I had to agree with Jasper when he explained to Bella that we owed them for our present way of life. I couldn't even imagine what would have happened if they hadn't stepped in when those first wars broke out. No city would have been safe, and vampires wouldn't have remained merely legends. All mankind would have known what we were and what we sought. Every human would have feared for their life, yet because of the Volturi, we remain hidden – those like my family and I even able to interact with them in something resembling a normal life.

_I think she already knows what I'm about to say,_ Jasper suddenly thought, bringing my attention momentarily away from Bella. He looked me in the eyes for one split second before continuing.

"The wars resumed, but on a smaller scale. Every now and then, someone would go too far, speculation would begin in the human newspapers, and the Volturi would return and clean out the city. But they let the others, the careful ones, continue..."

Then, just as Jasper had predicted, recognition set in.

"That's how you were changed," Bella whispered.

"Yes."

I wanted to tell him to stop, to leave it at that, but what had been started needed to be finished. Bella's curiosity was piqued. How could someone who was created for the purpose Jasper was end up with a family like ours – protecting human life rather than taking it without thought?

As Jasper continued, I found myself in dire need of a distraction, so I went back to counting Bella's heartbeats. He spoke only briefly about his time with the Confederate Army. He, like myself, had been caught up in the idea of it, romanticized as it had been. Because of his gifts, he'd done particularly well. It was also likely that the main reason the vampires who changed him had singled him out was because they sensed what he was capable of. Over time, he'd learned to embrace his gift, but in the beginning, he'd had plenty of reason to resent it. Jasper had gone over that night thousands of times in his mind, yet I could still hear the bitterness in his voice as he described it to Bella.

"He looks right – young, strong, an officer..." they'd said. "And there's something more... do you sense it? He's... compelling."

_They chose me because they knew what a powerful addition to their group I would prove to be. They could feel that I was special, even when I was just a weak human. Why couldn't I have been like the rest?_

Jasper had long ago come to terms with the hand he'd been dealt. Most of the time he was actually very happy. He had Alice, and he knew that if his life had followed a normal path, he never would have found her. Still, even the most content of us couldn't help but wonder, _what if? _What if he'd been just another soldier – would they still have chosen him if they hadn't felt what he was capable of? What if he'd never joined the army to begin with – where would his human life have taken him?

As Jasper spoke of the moments just before his life was ended, I felt him send out a wave of calm energy, and for the first time since he'd started his story, I wondered if it was more for his own sake than for Bella's. Whenever any of us thought about our transformations, it was hard not to remember the pain in violent detail, and it almost seemed as if he were trying to numb himself before speaking the words out loud. No amount of calm emanating from him, however, could fully keep the panic _I _was feeling at bay. I'd always been very vague about the process with Bella, and even though it was only fair for her to know exactly what was going to happen to her if she followed through with her plans, somehow, I wasn't quite ready for her to hear it.

I was about to interrupt, but of course Jasper was one step ahead. He felt my hesitation, or my nerves, and let out a quiet sigh. _Fine. But the more prepared she is, the easier it will be for her._

"A few days later," he continued, "...I was introduced to my new life."

I knew the next part of Jasper's story was the most difficult for him to talk about, and it didn't surprise me when he glazed over certain details. During his early years, he was an integral part of Maria's army, learning to fight and training the other newborns as well. He was rewarded often, and of course there was only one type of reward a newborn vampire was interested in – blood. Jasper refrained from saying the word out loud, not only for Bella's sake but for his own as well. Even after all his years with our family, a part of him would always miss the freedom that came from feeding according to our nature rather than our conscience. The degree to which it pained him to abstain was his darkest secret, and only I truly knew what a daily struggle it was. Alice understood to a point, but when Jasper was tempted, all she saw was the final outcome. She could see when things were difficult for him but she always saw him stopping himself before he went too far. She didn't hear the battle raging inside the way I did.

It didn't escape my notice that whenever Jasper spoke of the _rewards_ he'd been given, he found himself more aware than usual of how appealing Bella's blood was. I instinctively moved closer to her, ready to defend her against him as I'd once had to do, but he shook his head almost invisibly and let another wave of calm wash over the room.

_I'm in control, Edward. I promise you, no amount of thirst will disarm me like that ever again, at least not where Bella is concerned. I'll never forgive myself for all the pain that one moment of weakness cost the two of you, and I won't ever allow it to happen again._

I relaxed when I heard the sincerity of his words, mirrored by the absolute determination in his mind. As the minutes passed, I stopped waiting for Jasper to lose control or for Bella to hear something that was too much for her, and when I was finally able to do that, I found myself captivated by Jasper's words. I'd heard the story countless times through the medium of his thoughts, but it was so rare to hear him speak any part of it out loud that I became entranced.

It always amazed me that Jasper had developed a conscience, as we called it, considering the way he lived. Even after so many years with us, he thought since it was so much more difficult for him to abstain than the rest of the family, that meant we were somehow better than him, yet nothing could be farther from the truth. The fact that he'd lived through so much violence, war, and bloodshed, that he had come away with anything left of his humanity was astonishing.

Jasper spoke very briefly of the bond he'd developed with Maria, but for Alice's sake, he left out certain details. He spoke of their years on conquest, claiming city after city for their own, and of all the newborns lost in the various fights. I wondered if he realized that with each memory of a fallen comrade, he traced his fingers along the scars on his arms.

Maria and Jasper had lived as each other's mates for many years, though Jasper always believed she only stayed with him because of his ability and his skills as a fighter. It was probably the only reason he was able to leave so easily when the opportunity for a new way of life presented itself. When Jasper explained that it had eventually been his responsibility to dispose of the newborns when they were no longer needed, I heard Bella gasp. I took a step closer to her, eyes wide, silently pleading with Jasper not to go on.

_ She's troubled, but it's coming from concern and empathy for me, not fear, _Jasper assured me. I forced myself to relax again, but was thankful when he moved on quickly, focusing on his time with one of the surviving, more civilized newborns. When Peter couldn't take their way of life anymore, Jasper had allowed him to make his escape. It was the first time he'd defied Maria. As soon as he began talking about the day Peter had come back for him, his expression softened and I knew the worst was over.

"Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I'd never dreamed I had. In five years, they'd never had a fight, though they'd met many others in the north. Others who could co-exist without the constant mayhem. In one conversation, he had me convinced. I was ready to go, and somewhat relieved I wouldn't have to kill Maria. I'd been her companion of as many years as Carlisle and Edward have been together, yet the bond between us was nowhere near as strong. When you live for the fight, for the blood, the relationships you form are tenuous and easily broken. I walked away without a backward glance."

_It was the first time I saw a glimpse of our future together_, Alice thought to herself as a smile lit up her face. _I still had a long wait ahead of me, but that was the decision that would eventually lead him to me. Everything was so much better once I knew he was coming._

Jasper couldn't hear her words but he could certainly feel her love, making it easier to talk about those final years of his old life – before he found Alice, before everything changed. He could still remember in agonizing detail every life he'd taken. He told Bella how it was so much worse for him because he could feel everything his victims felt. She gazed at him with empathy and understanding in her eyes, and I loved her all the more for it. Jasper was telling her in brutal honesty about the lives he'd taken, yet the emotion on her face was nothing but pity for the way _he'd_ suffered.

"I tried to kill less often," he explained, almost an apology, though Bella was anything but accusatory, "but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline... challenging. I still haven't perfected that."

I was expecting the usual onslaught of guilty thoughts and self-loathing, but it never came. Maybe he was finally starting to realize none of us ever expected an apology for the life he left behind. Instead, Jasper's mind went straight to the diner where he'd first met Alice. He remembered the look on her face that day in perfect clarity. In his mind, she was perfection – an angel sitting alone, waiting for him. His memory of that first moment was so personal, so intimate, I felt as if I were intruding by listening to it.

"I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day – something I was not completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them, though this meant I was thirsty, and that worried me a little. She was there – expecting me, naturally."

Then, for the first time since he'd started his tragic story, Jasper's face lit up and he laughed quietly. "She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly toward me. It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That's the only interpretation of her behavior my past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I'd ever felt before."

_I was already in love with you, silly,_ she thought. I smiled, wishing for just one moment that Jasper could be the mind reader, though I was sure Alice had told him many times. For her, their love story had begun long before they met.

"'You've kept me waiting a long time,' she said." Jasper grinned as he quoted Alice's first words to him, and I wondered if he noticed the way she mouthed them right along with him. Alice had been inching closer to Jasper, needing to be close to him but not wanting to interrupt until it was time for her part of the story. She stopped a few steps away from Bella and gazed at Jasper with a mixture of playful affection and the deep, undeniable passion they shared.

"And you ducked your head, like a good Southern gentleman, and said, 'I'm sorry, ma'am,'" Alice said, laughing.

_My own personal savior,_ Jasper thought, staring at Alice. _Waiting, ready to help me make this miserable existence worthwhile. _"You held out your hand," he continued, reaching out to her as he spoke, "and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope."

"I was just relieved. I thought you were never going to show up," she said with a smile.

They stared at each other for a long moment, and although Bella couldn't hear their silent declarations of love as I could, I knew she could see it in their eyes. There was something so pure and beautiful in the way they watched each other, and I had to admit that for many decades I'd been jealous of what they shared. Whether I hadn't considered myself worthy or simply doubted that a match as perfect as Alice was for Jasper existed for me, I never imagined someone would look at me that way. Yet somehow I'd found Bella, who – impossibly, wonderfully – stared at me with much the same look in her eyes.

"Alice told me what she'd seen of Carlisle and his family," Jasper continued. "I could hardly believe that such an existence was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them."

"Scared the hell out of them, too," I teased, seeing that day again through Carlisle's memory. I still wish I'd been there to see it myself. "Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak," I laughed, reaching over to Alice, "who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into."

Jasper and Alice laughed, both reliving the day that changed everything for them.

_I'd already seen Carlisle invite us to stay, asking just seemed redundant._

I smiled at her. She'd never been one for formalities. "When I got home, all my things were in the garage."

"Your room had the best view," she said with a shrug, and I joined in their laughter.

"That's a nice story," Bella said, stopping us all in our tracks.

_And you were worried she'd run screaming, _Alice thought sarcastically.

_Your girlfriend, the eternal optimist, _Jasper added, shaking his head in wonderment.

"I mean the last part," she explained sheepishly. "The happy ending with Alice."

"Alice has made all the difference. This is a climate I enjoy." _Without her, where would I be?_

It was something we thankfully would never have to consider, though I think Jasper and I both knew the answer. While his conscience had been troubled over the way he was living, without Alice leading him to Carlisle, he never would have known he had another option besides killing and living with the guilt.

_I still don't understand why I didn't see anything, _Alice thought dejectedly, bringing me abruptly back to the present and reminding me what this was all about. "An army. Why didn't you tell me?"

We all turned our attention back to Jasper, who was still trying to make sense of it in his mind.

"I thought I must be interpreting the signs incorrectly. Because where is the motive? Why would someone create an army in Seattle? There is no history there, no vendetta. It makes no sense from a conquest standpoint, either, no one claims it. Nomads pass through, but there's no one to _fight _for it. No one to defend it from. But I've seen this before, and there's no other explanation. There is an army of newborn vampires in Seattle. Fewer than twenty, I'd guess. The difficult part is that they are totally untrained. Whoever made them just set them loose. It will only get worse, and it won't be much longer till the Volturi step in. Actually, I'm surprised they've let this go on so long."

I moved closer to Bella, her breath catching at the mention of the Volturi, as I listened to the thoughts around me. His story at an end, Jasper once again had the entire family's attention. What we were discussing now involved us all, and everyone was struggling to find a solution.

"What can we do?" Carlisle asked. _I don't want this to end in a fight, but surely it needs to end somehow._

"If we want to avoid the Volturi's involvement," Jasper said, glancing quickly and determinedly in my direction, "we will have to destroy the newborns, and we will have to do it very soon." _Edward, I know Carlisle won't like it, and if we can do this without him, we will. Maybe we can get help from Tanya. _"I can teach you how. It won't be easy in the city. The young ones aren't concerned about secrecy, but we will have to be. It will limit us in ways that they are not. Maybe we can lure them out."

Emmett was already getting excited, thoughts racing through all the ways we could corner them. But my mind had already started to form a very different picture.

"Maybe we won't have to," I said dismally. "Does it occur to anyone else that the only possible threat in the area that would call for the creation of an army is... us?"

_You honestly think any vampire out there sees us as a threat when we aren't even in competition with them for human blood? _Jasper asked.

I nodded almost invisibly. The fact that we didn't partake of the same food source wouldn't matter to whoever started this. If they'd heard rumors about our chosen diet, which seemed unlikely, chances are they wouldn't believe it. Even James' coven had been skeptical until they had seen it for themselves.

"Tanya's family is also near," Esme whispered, trying to deny what suddenly seemed so obvious to me. Of course she wouldn't want to believe that we were inadvertently the cause of what had turned into an abhorrent amount of bloodshed, but it seemed the most likely explanation.

"The newborns aren't ravaging Anchorage, Esme," I said as kindly as I could. "I think we have to consider the idea that _we _are the targets."

"They're not coming after us," Alice said with more confidence than her thoughts betrayed. "Or... they don't _know _that they are. Not yet." _Then again, what do I know? I didn't even see that it was an army._ Alice had never been very forgiving of herself when things slipped through the cracks, and admittedly, I hadn't helped matters any by making her feel personally responsible where Bella's future was concerned.

I was about to apologize and tell her than anything she sees, no matter how insignificant, is helpful, when I was bombarded by a sea of images. They were unclear, blurry almost, as if they were changing so fast she couldn't make sense of them.

"What is that?" I asked. "What are you remembering?"

"Flickers," she said, trying to concentrate but coming up short. "I can't see a clear picture when I try to see what's going on, nothing concrete. But I've been getting these strange flashes. Not enough to make sense of. It's as if someone's changing their mind, moving from one course of action to another so quickly that I can't get a good view..."

"Indecision?" Jasper asked. _That can't be right. Newborns act on pure instinct. Decision or indecision shouldn't come into play at all._

"I don't know..." she said, closing her eyes as she tried even harder to focus. _Can you see what I'm missing?_ she asked me silently, desperately. _Can you please make sense of it all before it drives me mad?_

"Not indecision," I snapped, realization setting in. "_Knowledge_. Someone who knows you can't see anything until the decision is made. Someone who is hiding from us. Playing with the holes in your vision."

"Who would know that?"

It was all starting to feel like a sadistic game, and there was one person I could think of who absolutely _loved _games. "Aro knows you as well as you know yourself," I said coldly.

"But I would see if they'd decided to come..."

But that was exactly the point. _They _hadn't decided to come. "Unless they didn't want to get their hands dirty," I said dryly. I was surprised when it was Rosalie who understood first.

_Of course. _"A favor," she said, almost to herself. "Someone in the South... someone who already had trouble with the rules. Someone who should have been destroyed is offered a second chance – if they take care of this one small problem... That would explain the Volturi's sluggish response."

"Why?" Carlisle gasped. Even though he knew perfectly well what they were capable of, Carlisle still liked to believe that the Volturi were inherently just, and that while their methods were extreme, in their minds they were merely protecting vampire laws. He didn't want to think that they could be capable of wiping out an entire family without cause. Of course, he hadn't heard Aro's thoughts. He didn't understand how consumed with power he was, and how fearful he'd become of the growing strength of Carlisle's family.

"There's no reason for the Volturi – " he started to argue.

"It was there," I said softly, wishing I didn't have to say the words out loud, wishing he could just hear what I'd heard and understand that the Volturi are only ever looking out for themselves. "I'm surprised it's come to this so soon, because the other thoughts were stronger. In Aro's head he saw me at his one side and Alice at his other. The present and the future, virtual omniscience. The power of the idea intoxicated him."

_He wants to destroy us to get to you and Alice?_ he thought. _That makes no sense. He __must know you'd never follow him if he took your family away from you._

I shook my head minutely, looking into his eyes as I continued. "I would have thought it would take him much longer to give up on that plan – he wanted it too much. But there was also the thought of you, Carlisle, of our family, growing stronger and larger. The jealousy and the fear: you having... not _more _than he had, but still, things that he wanted. He tried not to think about it, but he couldn't hide it completely. The idea of rooting out the competition was there; besides their own, ours is the largest coven they've ever found..."

_No. This can't be right, the Volturi wouldn't pick a fight out of jealousy... _He was trying to find a way around it, but beneath Carlisle's attempt to deny what I was telling him, even he was starting to see that it made sense.

"They're too committed to their mission," he tried to argue. "They would never break the rules themselves. It goes against everything they've worked for."

"They'll clean up afterward." It would all be too easy. Whatever story they told, there would be no choice but to believe. Without us or whoever they end up sending to take us down, to question them, things will return to normal. "A double betrayal," I added, almost hearing Aro say the words himself. "No harm done."

"No," Jasper said, his thoughts as definitive as Carlisle's. He'd seen first hand the complete obliteration the Volturi were capable of, but he also didn't believe they would attack unprovoked. "Carlisle is right. The Volturi do not break rules. Besides, it's much too sloppy. This... person, this threat – they have no idea what they're doing. A first-timer, I'd swear to it." _I've seen the way the Volturi work, Edward. They're efficient. Seattle is a disaster. They'd never leave the kind of mess behind. _"I cannot believe the Volturi are involved. But they will be."

_He's right,_ Carlisle thought, staring intently at me, willing me to believe as they did. _I know you're afraid of them for Bella's sake, and I know you've seen things I haven't seen... but this isn't their doing. However, I'm positive they won't like what's happening right now and it won't be allowed to go on much longer._

The rest of my family seemed to arrive at the same conclusion, but it was only Emmett who spoke it out loud. They were all trying not to say anything that would frighten Bella, but he was far too excited by the idea of finally getting to take action.

"Then let's _go_," he shouted. "What are we waiting for?"

I watched only Carlisle in that moment, hearing, _knowing_ the kind of pain this was causing him. No matter how necessary in a situation like this, violence was always difficult for him to fathom when he'd spent centuries trying to protect life in all forms. Yet what was bothering him even more now was the idea of us launching at attack on an unknown source.

_We don't know who it is, or where they came from. If they were created and then simply set loose, of course their instincts would have taken over. Perhaps with time, they could be reasoned with. If they knew there was another way..._

But even as he tried to rationalize it, he knew it was impossible. There was only one way this was going to end, and when he finally accepted that, he thought the three words that made all the difference.

_For our family._

I nodded as I listened to his entire mindset change. "We'll need you to teach us, Jasper," he said, determined. "How to destroy them." He spoke with confidence, but I could hear how difficult it still was for him.

I glanced over at Bella, part of me afraid of what I would see in her eyes, but needing to know she was okay. Her brows were pulled together as if she was concentrating hard on something, though I couldn't imagine what in all this she needed to think about. Her only job was to stay safe, and we were going to make certain that happened.

"We're going to need help," Jasper said. "Do you think Tanya's family would be willing...? Another five mature vampires would make an enormous difference. And then Kate and Eleazar would be especially advantageous on our side. It would be almost easy, with their aid."

"We'll ask," Carlisle said, though the thought of involving anyone who didn't need to be was bothering his conscience.

"We'll need to hurry," Jasper said, handing him the phone. Carlisle took it hesitantly and made the call just out of hearing range for Bella. I took her hand in mine, needing her warmth, her presence more than I'd realized. We sat on the loveseat together while I listened intently to Carlisle's conversation.

Tanya answered and I tried to ignore her not at all subtle inquiry as to how I was doing. Carlisle lumped me in with rest of the family, simply stating that we had all found ourselves in a difficult situation. They'd heard what was going on in Seattle so he only had to briefly explain what he was asking them. He hadn't really wanted or expected them to agree to help, but what Tanya told him shocked us both.

"You know I'd love to offer our assistance in anything, Carlisle, but I'm afraid in this instance I do have to include one condition. It's something that's caused a bit of a problem for my family, and I would be remiss if I didn't take this opportunity to try to fix it."

"I'm listening. You know I'll help in any way I can."

"Well, against my better judgment, Irina and Laurent became... _involved_ during his time with us. She was quite upset to say the least when the wolves took him down defending that human you all are so fond of." Her voice had turned bitter, and my jaw clenched as I understood what she was about to ask.

"Oh," Carlisle said, stunned. "We didn't realize... that Irina felt that way."

"Damn it," I snapped. "Damn Laurent to the deepest pit of hell where he belongs."

Bella was gaping at me. "Laurent?" she whispered, terrified. I wanted to explain but while I could already see where the conversation was going, I needed to hear the words. It was all so ridiculous that it should come to a vendetta against the wolves, one that, because of both Bella and the treaty, we couldn't allow them to settle.

"Filthy, disgusting creatures or not," Tanya explained, "it's not our place to take our revenge on the pack since they were in fact defending a member of your _family_." I could almost see her rolling her eyes as she said the word, baffled at how we'd welcomed a human so completely into our world.

"Surely you're not asking our permission?" Carlisle said, forcing his tone to remain calm. Like myself, he didn't want to believe it had come to this – our closest allies unwilling to help us unless they first destroyed our closest, yet untouchable, enemies.

"That's exactly what I'm asking," she snapped. "And if you ask me, I think we're making you a pretty good deal. You're not allowed to take care of your wolf problem, but we are. Just say the word. Those we leave alive will never know it had anything to do with you."

"There's no question of that," Carlisle said firmly. "We have a truce. They haven't broken it, and neither will we. I'm sorry to hear that..."

"That they killed Irina's mate? That she's been inconsolable ever since it happened? You must understand how she feels, Carlisle."

"Of course. We'll just have to do our best alone."

He hung up quickly, mixed feelings about knowing we would be on our own. He hadn't wanted to involve anyone else, but he was afraid for his family, and would have gladly accepted the help if they were willing.

"What's the problem?" Emmett asked me, staring at Carlisle and trying to read his expression.

"Irina was more involved with our friend Laurent than we knew. She's holding a grudge against the wolves for destroying him to save Bella. She wants – " I paused, looking into Bella's eyes. Even though we'd refused, I hated to say the words, knowing how much it would upset her.

"Go on," she urged me nervously.

I took a deep breath. "She wants revenge. To take down the pack. They would trade their help for our permission."

"No!" she yelled.

"Don't worry," I promised her. "Carlisle would never agreed to it." I paused, knowing that no matter what I felt toward the pack, I would always be in their debt for saving Bella when I wasn't there to. "Nor would I," I sighed. "Laurent had it coming, and I still owe the wolves for that." She relaxed slightly, though I could still see the terror in her eyes.

_I don't like this at all, _Jasper thought, his mind racing through all the possibilities. He knew better than any of us what we were up against, and he had been hoping we would have the assistance of Tanya's family. "This isn't good," he said, almost to himself. "It's too even a fight. We'd have the upper hand in skill, but not numbers. We'd win, but at what price?" He glanced for the briefest of seconds at Alice. _Without her, I'm nothing._

With that, it all started to sink in. My family was about to take on something bigger than we'd ever faced together, and the hardest part was that it wasn't even our fight. Yet to keep the Volturi away, what choice did we have? I tried not to see the fear in Bella's eyes, but it was unmistakable. She'd heard Jasper, and seen the way he looked at Alice. She knew there was a chance someone would be lost.

For the first time, I had a flash of fear for my own life. Not because I was afraid of what it would mean, that I might finally find out the true fate of our souls. I was afraid because I'd made a promise to Bella. I told her I'd never leave her again, that I would always be there to protect her. As I stared at her, the one who had made all the difference, I knew I would fight with every ounce of strength in my being, and nothing would stop me from coming home to her.

I'd be damned before any army, no matter how strong, made me break my promise.


	12. Declaration EPOV

Hi! Hope everyone's New Year is off to a great start. This one was fun. Short and sweet, with just a touch of sappy, feel-good vampire love.

Thanks again to shasta53 for catching my mistakes, and helping break me of bad habits ;)

**Declaration – EPOV**

_Why is your girlfriend so stubborn? _Alice cast a quick, indignant glare in my direction, as if I had any say in whether or not Bella's graduation party would go on as planned. I'd already told her – this was Bella's decision and I was staying out of it.

"You can't be serious," Bella argued. "You've completely lost your mind!"

"Say whatever you like about me," Alice said stubbornly. "The party is still on."

I kicked Alice under the table, but she didn't so much as bat an eye. And she called _Bella_ stubborn.

"Oh, calm down, Bella! There's no reason not to go through with it. Besides, the invitations are already sent."

"But... the... you... I... insane!" Bella stuttered. If it was really causing her this much anxiety, I would just take her out of town for the evening. Alice could throw her party, it didn't mean Bella had to show up.

_You most certainly will not!_ Alice silently spat the moment I started to form a coherent plan. It was one of the many downfalls of having a sister who can see your every move long before you've had the chance to make it.

"You've already bought my present," Alice said angelically, trying to change the subject. "You don't have to do anything but show up."

I listened as Bella took several deep, calming breaths. As I watched, I realized that saving her from a party she had no interest in attending was only part of the reason I wanted to escape with her for awhile. We'd both spent far too much of our time lately worrying over the state of things in Seattle, and whoever had been in her room, not to mention a possible visit from the Volturi. With so much going on around us, we'd had hardly any time to focus on simply being together.

We still had our nights, but even those were tainted to some degree by the fear I could tell Bella was still feeling. She tried to hide it from me, but I couldn't ignore the way she jumped every time there was a noise outside her window. And while I enjoyed how tightly she held onto me as she drifted off to sleep, I knew it was as much out of need for comfort and protection as it was a gesture of love.

Under normal circumstances, it would have been so easy to whisk her away, even if only for the day, to somewhere we could just be together and in love. Right now, however, there were too many uncertainties, too much we didn't know and understand.

"With everything that is going on right now, a party is hardly appropriate," Bella insisted, eliciting an eye roll from Alice.

"Graduation is what's going on right now, and a party is so appropriate it's almost passé."

"Alice!" she cried, exasperated.

"There are a few things we need to get in order now, and that's going to take a little time," she continued, unfazed. "As long as we're sitting here waiting, we might as well commemorate the good stuff. You're only going to graduate from high school – for the first time – once. You don't get to be human again, Bella. This is a once-in-a-lifetime shot."

I shot a glare in her direction, even though I could hear that no one around us was interested in our conversation. Most of our classmates had given up long ago trying to figure out the mysteries of the school's two remaining Cullens. With Bella around, Alice and I had lost our intrigue.

"What few things do we need to get in order?" Bella asked, determined to know everything despite my continued assurance that we had things under control. The less she worried about, the less my conscience bothered me for having dragged her into yet another situation she should never have been a part of.

"Jasper thinks we could use some help," I explained gently, hiding the concern in my voice of what would happen if we ended up going into this fight alone. "Tanya's family isn't the only choice we have. Carlisle's trying to track down a few old friends, and Jasper is looking up Peter and Charlotte. He's considering talking to Maria... but no one really wants to involve the southerners."

_That's putting it mildly,_ Alice thought, visibly shaken for a split second before regaining her composure. For her, it was more than just an aversion to asking for help from a coven so violent in nature. If Maria were to get involved, Alice would be forced to confront Jasper's past in a way she'd never had to before. She'd always been grateful that she saw the future rather than the past, deciding it was easier not to have a visual to go with the stories she'd long ago accepted. Having a face to go with Jasper's stories was not something Alice was prepared for.

"It shouldn't be too hard to convince them to help," I said, hoping between Carlisle's friends and Peter and Charlotte, we would have more than enough assistance. "Nobody wants a visit from Italy," I added quietly, hating the way Bella winced at the word.

"But these friends – they're not going to be... _vegetarians_, right?" she asked nervously.

"No," I admitted.

"Here? In Forks?" she asked frantically.

I wanted to assure her that they wouldn't pose a threat to her, that if we explained our unique situation, they would curb their appetite or, at the least, keep their hunting activities far away. How could I promise such a thing, though, when all I wanted was to run Bella out of town the moment they arrived? Of course, I could never leave my family right as the fight was about to begin, could I? I was instantly bombarded with images of of red-eyed, hungry vampires mere feet away from my Bella, and I knew that if it meant her protection, I would leave without a second thought. My family would understand. They would have to.

"They're friends," Alice said, either sensing my anxiety or seeing what I'd barely begun to plan. "Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry." She was speaking to Bella, but her every thought was directed at me.

_Anyone who is willing to fight with us will respect us enough not to hurt Bella. She'll be fine. No one is getting near her. Edward, we need you with us. You have to understand what advantage we'd be giving up if you left._

And I did understand. With newborns, Alice's power meant nothing. She wouldn't see anything because they wouldn't decide anything. They were going to be fighting on pure instinct, but I would still hear them coming.

"And then, Jasper has to teach us a few courses on newborn elimination..." Alice continued, sounding somewhat more relaxed when she saw I wasn't going anywhere.

I smiled, despite my apprehension, caught up for a moment in the thought of learning fighting tactics from Jasper. I'd been listening to him ever since the day we all realized what we were up against. His excitement was undeniable. He was anxious to finally put his skills and knowledge to good use. From his dark past, he could bring us something indispensable, an advantage no one else could offer. In his mind, it was almost an atonement for the things he could not change and would always regret.

We were all eager to learn. Everyone, that is, except for Carlisle. My family knew this fight was going to be difficult for him, but only I truly knew the toll it was taking on him.

_I'll do whatever is necessary to protect my family. _He recited it over and over in his mind, his own personal mantra. His constant reminder that, although it went against his very nature, sometimes violence was the only answer.

"When are you going?" I heard Bella ask, though my attention was, admittedly, elsewhere.

"A week. That ought to give us enough time."

"You look kind of green, Bella," Alice said. _Focus, Edward. She's a nervous wreck._

I quickly pulled Bella close to me, banishing every thought but those of her. Alice was right, she needed comfort right now, and I'd been doing a poor job of giving it to her.

"It's going to be fine, Bella. Trust me."

She sank into me despairingly, until some hidden thought changed her posture.

"You're looking for help," she said softly, contemplatively. If it weren't for the strange, underlying knowledge that she was about to suggest something I wouldn't like, I might have laughed. Who could she have thought of that we hadn't?

"Yes," Alice hedged, clearly as baffled as me.

"_I _could help," she whispered.

I felt my grip tighten protectively around her. _No! It's too soon! _My thoughts raged through me, but thankfully, Alice remained the voice of reason.

_Oh, calm down. We wouldn't dare. No good is going to come from throwing _another _newborn into the mix._

"That really wouldn't be _helpful_," she said gently.

"Why not?" Bella asked stubbornly. "Eight is better than seven. There's more than enough time."

_If she's delusional enough to think she'd be any help to us at all as a four-day-old vampire, then clearly you haven't done a very good job of preparing her for what's to come,_ Alice silently reprimanded. With a pang of guilt, I knew she was right. Everyone kept telling me that the more prepared Bella was, the easier it would be on her, yet I couldn't bring myself to go into the excruciating details. Maybe I was still trying to deceive myself – if I didn't talk about her being changed, then it didn't seem real. Nothing was final until the venom was coursing through her veins.

"There's not enough time to make you helpful, Bella," Alice continued calmly, saying things I didn't have the courage to. "Do you remember how Jasper described the young ones? You'd be no good in a fight. You wouldn't be able to control your instincts, and that would make you an easy target. And then Edward would get hurt trying to protect you."

I watched Bella's expression return to frustration as Alice smiled angelically at her.

"Not because you're afraid," I reminded her softly, happy when she relaxed into me once again.

"Oh," Alice said, irritation creeping into her tone. "I hate last-minute cancellations. So that puts the party attendance list down to sixty-five..."

"_Sixty-five!_" Bella shrieked.

"Who canceled?" I asked, trying to keep the conversation light.

"Renée."

"What?"

"She was going to surprise you for your graduation, but something went wrong. You'll have a message when you get home."

Bella sighed, her heart rate coming back down as she let herself rest against me again. She was relieved that Alice had dropped the subject of the party, at least for the day, though I was certain it was still weighing heavily on her mind. She was quiet an the drive home, but her mood grew perceptibly lighter when she listened to her mother's voice on the answering machine. It really was a shame she couldn't make it to the party. It was obvious how much Bella missed her.

When Renée's message ended mid-sentence, Bella sighed.

"Well, that's one."

"One what?"

"One person I don't have to worry about getting killed this week."

I rolled my eyes to mask my guilt. Even though she missed her mother, with a countless number of new vampires possibly visiting town in the very near future, this was the last place Bella wanted anyone she loved. Once again, I hated myself for inflicting the horrible realities of my world on her. Because of me, she was afraid of having her own mother come to her graduation.

"Why won't you and Alice take this seriously?" she asked, exasperated. "This is _serious._"

"Confidence," I said with a smile, trying to brighten her mood again.

"Wonderful." Frustrated, she turned away from me and picked up the phone to call her mother.

It was a welcome break from the stresses of the day, listening to her talk with Renée. Or rather, listening to Renée talk while Bella occasionally interjected quick words of reassurance that she wasn't upset about her missing graduation. Every once in awhile, Bella would look up at me apologetically, but I just smiled and ran my fingers through her hair, secretly loving the way it still made her heart race.

As I listened, I caught myself wondering what Renée would say if Bella called her one day, telling her that she and I were engaged. Would she be happy for Bella, or would she warn her not to make the same mistake she had, getting married so young? And even if she had her doubts, would she at least be able to accept me as the man who loves her daughter, someone who will always protect Bella no matter what? Strangely, it felt nice to worry about something so normal. In this one thing, at least, I was like every other man who'd contemplated the future with the woman he loves.

When she finally hung up the phone, she didn't waste any time closing the distance between us. She stretched up toward me until her lips met mine, and I lifted her onto the counter, too eager to be closer to her. Her arms and legs quickly wrapped around me, and for a few moments, I allowed myself to simply revel in the warmth of her touch and the feeling of her fingers in my hair. The way she sighed when she sunk into me made me ache to hold her tighter, which, unfortunately, meant I needed to do exactly the opposite.

I laughed at her sulky expression as I pulled away, happy that she seemed to never tire of my embrace. We were talking about eternity, after all, and my greatest hope was that she would always look at me with the same eyes of never ending love the way I knew I would always look upon her.

I relaxed at her side, putting my arm around her shoulder so she could rest against me. "I know you think that I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but that's not actually the case."

"I wish," she muttered. Always so ready to push me beyond what is advisable...

It was odd to think that not long ago, my biggest fear was being unable to control my thirst. If someone had told me that any desire existed more powerful than that one, I wouldn't have believed them. Lately, however, the burn was second to the all-consuming need to hold her tighter, to never let go. Knowing her human days were numbered should have granted me patience. Soon, my strength would no longer threaten her safety. Yet somehow, knowing I had only a short time to caress her warm skin, breathe in her scent that has always been both pleasure and pain, it was agony not to let myself revel in every aspect of her humanity without restraint.

My muscles twitched to pull her back into me, let her wrap her arms and legs around me again. So, with a deep breath to summon my willpower, I changed the subject to a safer topic.

"After school tomorrow, I'm going hunting with Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie. Just for a few hours – we'll stay close. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett should be able to keep you safe," I added, as much for her assurance as mine. So nervous about leaving Bella's side for even a short time, Carlisle had had to remind me the importance of keeping myself strong. It was necessary for the things that were to come.

"Ugh," she groaned. "I hate being babysat."

"It's temporary."

"Jasper will be bored. Emmett will make fun of me."

"They'll be on their best behavior."

"Right."

I felt guilty and momentarily considered not going away at all. I had spoken with Alice after the last time I'd left, and made her promise things would be different this time, but of course, there were no guarantees.

_Don't let her sulk the whole time I'm away_, I'd pleaded. _She loves you, Alice. You can keep her distracted. You just have to make sure you're acting the part of sister and friend rather than innkeeper. _

I was about to offer to stay when Bella's eyes brightened.

"You know..." she said slowly, "I haven't been to La Push since the bonfire."

It took every ounce of strength in me to keep my expression neutral. There really wasn't a reason I could give her not to go. Well, not one that didn't make me sound petty, irrational, and jealous.

"I'd be safe enough there," she said serenely.

My mind was screaming at me. _No. Stay here, with me. I don't need to go, really._

"You're probably right," I said calmly, hoping my true feelings were disguised. The last thing I wanted was to get into another argument with her. We'd been down that path too many times. She was safe in La Push, like she'd said. I had to put my prejudices about the wolves aside.

She smiled up at me, gently brushing her fingers below my eyes. "Are you thirsty already?" she asked, scrutinizing my face. It would never cease to amaze me how easily she spoke of my deplorable thirst, how calm she was discussing the thing I'd once been so afraid to talk to her about.

I should have known that she was always watching for signs of my thirst and that she would question this particular trip. Bella didn't like to see my eyes get too shadowy, or my irises too black. She worried about me in ways I'd never deserved, and although it would have been easier to answer, "yes, I'm thirsty," because I owed her everything, I could only speak the truth. I didn't show the usual signs because this hunting trip had a far different purpose.

"Not really," I said, wishing I could leave it at that, but knowing her inquisitive nature wouldn't let me. "We want to be as strong as possible. We'll probably hunt again on the way, looking for big game."

I'd hesitated to tell her because I assumed it would only worry her to know we were taking extra precautions. She surprised me again when she simply asked, "That makes you stronger?" I watched her expression closely for any sign she was putting on a brave front, but there was nothing there except genuine curiosity.

"Yes," I answered, when I was sure hearing about our extra hunting plans wouldn't cause her unnecessary stress. "Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. Jasper's been thinking about cheating – adverse as he is to the idea, he's nothing if not practical – but he won't suggest it. He knows what Carlisle will say."

Even though I was sure Alice was watching his decisions closely, I'd been listening to his thoughts as well ever since the idea had first occurred to him. I'd been nervous in the beginning, but I soon realized that while Jasper felt guilty for even thinking about killing a human, his true reason for not suggesting it was less about Carlisle's reaction and more about his own fears. He was terrified that if he tasted human blood again, it would ruin all the progress he'd made during his years with us. He thrived on the fact that every day he abstained, his memory of the exact flavor, the level of satisfaction it granted, faded minutely. Changing his diet had been torturous on him, and he was not willing to go through the withdrawal again.

I looked at Bella then, having suddenly realized what I'd said. How foolish of me, mentioning that something so terrible had even occurred to Jasper. Now I'd given her one more thing to worry about. I was about to apologize, when she surprised me by asking, "Would that help?" My jaw nearly dropped. Did she have any idea what she was suggesting?

"It doesn't matter," I said quickly. "We aren't going to change who we are."

A pained expression flashed across her face, and I quickly moved on, unwilling to let her dwell on the subject. There was no point. It wasn't something we would ever consider, no matter how many newborns we were up against.

"That's why they're so strong, of course," I explained. "The newborns are full of blood – their own blood, reacting to the change. It lingers in the tissues and strengthens them. Their bodies use it up slowly, like Jasper said, the strength starting to wane after about a year."

"How strong will _I _be?" she asked with a grin. Then, something remarkable occurred. Hearing her excitement, seeing the light in her eyes, made _me _excited about what her life would soon be like. For that one moment, I didn't feel any fear or regret for what she was losing. All I felt was happiness, and maybe even a touch of pride at Bella's ability to always focus on the positive.

"Stronger than I am," I answered, barely able to contain my sudden euphoria. I would finally be able to hold her, kiss her the way I'd always wanted to, the way she deserved. I could shower her my endless affection without holding back.

"Stronger than Emmett?" she asked, and my grin widened. Bella was going to be extraordinary, and I couldn't wait to see it.

"Yes," I promised. "Do me a favor and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match. It would be a good experience for him."

She laughed, probably in disbelief, which would make it that much more entertaining when she crushed him. A moment later, she stepped down off the counter, still smiling and shaking her head, and insisted that we get to studying. It was the last set of high school exams she would ever take, and we both wanted her to do well.

I let my mind wander while she pored over her books, answering any questions she had idly as my thoughts drifted to the future ahead. Unfortunately, there was one detail that remained missing from what would be an otherwise perfect vision. Bella still didn't seem any closer to accepting my proposal... not that I'd actually asked again.

It seemed a paradox that it could be so easy for us to proclaim our love for each other every day, yet we couldn't discuss marriage. Bella was completely opposed to the idea, making it very difficult for me to plan a proper proposal. Yet I knew the time was running short. If she wanted me to be the one to change her – and truth be told, I wanted to be the one as well – then she needed to get over her fears the way I'd slowly learned to push aside my trepidation about her giving up her mortality.

"Do you mind if I give Jacob a call?" she asked, pushing her Calculus book aside. "I should make sure it's all right for me to come over tomorrow."

I was positive it would be more than alright with him, but I smiled and nodded anyway. She kept the conversation short, and I waited patiently, passing the time by running my fingers through her silky hair again. Of course Jacob was thrilled he would be spending the day with Bella.

"So he's letting you off house arrest, is he?" he asked. Bella blushed, turning her gaze away from me.

"Leave it alone, Jake," she said quietly. "Just tell me what time I can come over."

"You can come yesterday, as far as I'm concerned," he teased. "You know you're always welcome. School's out for us, anyway, so come as soon as you can."

"Okay, I'll be over right after school."

Bella smiled at me as she hung up the phone and motioned to her text books.

"Shall we?" she said, obviously not wanting to talk about Jacob or La Push, which was fine with me. The less I thought about it, the less crazy I would make myself.

The next day at school, I listened to the thoughts of Bella's classmates, as well as a few of her teachers. Being that they were senior year finals, and really had no effect on what anyone was doing after high school, it didn't surprise me to find that Bella was far more prepared than the rest of her graduating class.

When our final class was over, the reality of where I was leaving her during my brief time away set in. I forced a smile onto my face, remembering that she was, in fact, well protected by the wolves. Beyond Jacob's obnoxious affection toward her, the rest of pack seemed to care about her too, although they all thought she was a lunatic for keeping company with vampires.

"Would you like to spend a couple of hours together before I leave, or should I drop you off right away?"

She rolled her eyes and let out a deep sigh. I knew it made her feel like a child, being escorted to the boundary line, and perhaps I was being selfish, but I wanted to spend as long with her as I could. Besides, it was reassuring, if not somewhat annoying, to listen to Jacob's thoughts when he picked her up. He was almost as preoccupied with her safety as I was.

"I guess we might as well go now," she said dejectedly. "The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come home, right?"

I put my arm around her and kissed the top of her head. I knew she was looking forward to visiting Jacob, and maybe it had only been for my benefit, but those few simple words had changed my whole outlook on the day.

She called Jacob to let him know we were on our way, her fingers entwined with mine as she spoke. I drove slower than usual, wanting to hang on just a little bit longer. I was glad today's hunting trip would be a short one.

"So how do you feel you did on your exams?" I asked, gently tracing the back of her hand and staring into her eyes. I was glad it no longer bothered her that I seldom watched the road while I drove.

"History was easy, but I don't know about the Calculus. It seemed like it was making sense, so that probably means I failed."

I laughed. _ If she had any idea..._ Her teacher had purposely made the test easier than normal, having expected a low amount of preparation and concentration from his students. "I'm sure you did fine. Or, if you're really worried, I could bribe Mr. Varner to give you an A."

She smiled nervously, probably wondering whether or not I was serious. "Er, thanks, but no thanks."

I was enjoying the lighthearted conversation. It felt like forever since we'd talked about such mundane things. With everything going on, it was nice for once not to be discussing the newborns, or Victoria, or the Volturi. Unfortunately, our peaceful moment together was quickly coming to an end.

_I'll just tell her. That's all I can do. I mean, I have to, right? Would never forgive myself if I let her turn herself into a disgusting bloodsucker without knowing she had another option. A _better_ option._

I saw Jacob before he saw us, and I couldn't hide the scowl on my face as I noticed the determination of his thoughts was mirrored in his expression. He was drumming his fingers nervously on the steering wheel, but nothing was going to stop him from telling Bella how he felt. Honestly, I was surprised it had taken him this long. Her approaching graduation date must be looming over his head every bit as much as it was mine.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked, noticing my expression.

"Nothing," I said quietly.

_Think of Charlie, think of your friends. With me, you wouldn't have to give up anything. I love you, Bella! Choose me! _

"You're not _listening_ to Jacob, are you?" Bella asked disapprovingly.

"It's not easy to ignore someone when he's shouting."

"Oh."

Jacob's rant ended abruptly when he noticed us, though of course he knew I'd heard him.

_So, you up for a little competition, leech? Or are you gonna turn the car around and hold her hostage again? _I bit back a growl.

"What's he shouting?" Bella asked.

"I'm absolutely certain he'll mention it himself."

Just then, Jacob honked his horn impatiently.

"That's impolite," I said, foot twitching above the gas pedal. I didn't really need to go hunting today.

"That's Jacob," Bella muttered, getting out of the car before I could change my mind about leaving her there.

_I'll give you a call when she wants to come home. Or should I say, _if _she wants to come home_, he added with a smirk.

I glared at him as Bella got into the car, my short trip suddenly feeling much longer. Then again, when I'd planned it, I didn't realize that while I was away, Jacob was going to be declaring his love to _my _Bella.


	13. Wager EPOV

A/N: Hi everyone. Sooooooo... first of all, HUGE apologies for how long this took. Time really got away from me. Between my baby girl who seems to be growing up way too fast, working far too many hours, and other random life stuff I won't bore you with, all things Twilight sort of took a back seat. The irony is, as soon as I started writing again, I realized how much I'd needed it. If I'd taken more time to relish in the pure joy of the characters we all love so much, maybe things wouldn't have seemed so overwhelming. I think finishing this chapter may have actually lowered my blood pressure. :)

Secondly, to everyone who's taken the time to review, thank you! I'm sorry if I haven't responded personally, but know that each one gave me a little boost of encouragement, and there were some days when I really needed it!

Finally, thanks to shasta53 for beta-ing... sorry I worried you. It won't be so long next time, I promise! :) Onward!!!

**Wager – EPOV**

_ If you're just going to sit there all distracted, you should have stayed home. _I snapped myself out of my current train of thought – one that was, unfortunately, focused on the profession of love Jacob was probably uttering to Bella at that very moment – only to find Emmett glaring at me.

"I thought we'd all decided this trip was necessary," I argued. If it hadn't been, I _would_ have stayed home, and Bella would be withme right now instead of with that filthy, mangy...

_You know I'm not worried about the fight,_ Emmett grinned. _I'm just here for the extra meal. _I rolled my eyes, but a smile crept onto my face. No matter what lay ahead, Emmett could always eat.

"You might not be, but Carlisle certainly is," I said quietly. As much as I hated to admit it, and although I would always remain the picture of confidence around Bella, I was concerned as well.

_Yeah, well he worries too much._

"That may be true, but is it possible you don't worry quite enough?"

_Highly unlikely._

I sighed. "I know you think we're strong enough to fight off an army of unknown numbers and strength, and I hope you're right, but what if we aren't ready for them? What if something happens to one of us? To Rose?"

His smile didn't waver for a moment, but I could hear the brief flash of panic in his mind. He could put on a brave front all he wanted, act casual and aloof morning til night, but I knew Rosalie was his world. Emmett had given me a hard time about my pleas to the Volturi, called me over-dramatic, but if something took Rose away from him, he'd be on the next plane to Italy himself.

"Doesn't matter," he said aloud, trying to shake off his brief flicker of doubt. "There's nothing we can't handle."

"Let's go," Jasper shouted, stopping me before I could argue any further. "There's a herd of elk about a mile off. Race you?"

"That's what I'm here for," Emmett said with a smirk as he took off running.

Normally, I would have followed after my brothers, passing them up in no time, but Emmett had been right. I was far too distracted, and decided it was best to keep to myself. Since Bella was spending the day in La Push, everyone except for Rose, who was keeping an eye on Charlie, had come along. Carlisle and Esme were spending most of the trip by themselves. Esme was Carlisle's sanctuary, his safe harbor, and with all he'd been worrying about lately, he needed her comfort more than ever.

Alice was, as usual, already a few steps ahead of Jasper, which left me alone with nothing but the noise of my own thoughts. At the moment, my thoughts were focused on one thing only, and they happened to be screaming it rather loudly.

_Jacob is telling Bella he loves her! _I wanted to believe it wouldn't matter, that her heart would still be mine, but I'd be a fool to think it wouldn't have at least some affect on her.

I saw the way she looked at him, how her eyes lit up when she saw him waiting at the border for her. I knew how miserable she'd been when they weren't spending any time together, and how upset she'd been with me for trying to keep them apart. Worst of all, I heard his name slip from her lips from time to time when she was sleeping. He was in her life and in her dreams – and after today, she would know exactly how he felt about her.

Not that I didn't think she already knew, to some extent. The boy was about as subtle as a flashing neon sign. Still, it was different to _think _someone's in love with you, and an entirely different thing to actually hear it.

_So, why aren't you with Em and Jazz? They're playing a little game of who can bring down the biggest elk. I thought you'd want to join them. _Alice was standing next to me, smiling, and I struggled to shift my attention to her.

"Are they now?" I said, attempting a smile. "And you didn't want to join them?"

"You know how much I hate playing games if I know I'm not going to win."

"Right, I forgot."

Her brow pulled together in concern. _What's up with you today?_ she thought, sitting down next to me.

"As if you don't already know," I muttered. She pursed her lips as irritation flickered across her face, and I realized that what was bothering me was something beyond her sight. "Oh," I said apologetically. "I guess you wouldn't have seen this one coming."

"The mutt?" she asked, frustrated.

"Who else?" I sighed. "I mean, it's not like I blame him. I'd fight for her, too. I _have_ fought for her. I just... I can't stand the thought of him pledging his love to her, _begging _her to chose him instead."

"Ah. Your sulking makes a bit more sense now. And here I thought you were just missing her and worrying like usual."

"For once, I wish it was only that."

"Edward?" she said slowly, pausing until my eyes met hers. "You do realize you have absolutely nothing to worry about, right?"

I took a deep breath. It was hard to admit it out loud. "I'm not so sure."

"Oh, come on," she scoffed, all traces of seriousness vanished. "After all this time, after everything you two have been through... when she's on the brink of getting exactly what she's been wanting from the very start, _now _you doubt her? I may not be able to _see _her reaction to that mangy hairball, but I can guess with a fair amount of confidence that it won't end well for him."

I laughed along with her, hopeful for a brief moment before my insecurities had time to resurface.

"I'd like to think so, and most of the time I have complete faith in her feelings for me, but Alice, I _left _her. The whole time I was away, Jacob was there for her. She loves him, I know she does. Sometimes she talks about him in her sleep. She misses him, worries about him, wants him to be happy."

"But she chose you. She's chosen you time and again. Yes, you left, but when you came back, how long did it take for her to forgive you?"

"She gave me forgiveness I didn't deserve."

"No arguments there."

I rolled my eyes. Alice had always believed in Bella's love for me, long before even I had. Truly, I wanted nothing more than to accept her assurances, and put my fears out of my mind for the remainder of the trip. It was impossible, though, as I replayed the words I knew Jacob was speaking to Bella at any moment.

"What makes this all so much worse is that there was a time when I might have said Jacob was a better fit for Bella." I was staring at the ground, speaking more to myself than to Alice. "Before he changed, if he was just a kid in love – if he was _safe _for her, a part of me might have wanted her to pick him. I'd do anything to protect her, even watch her love someone else. But he's no better for her than I am. He and his pack are a threat to her safety – even if he is considerably more in control than I fathomed possible."

I laughed under my breath and Alice raised an eyebrow at me.

"It's actually rather ironic," I continued. "The fact that he's adapted so well to his new lifestyle, the amount of control he has over his transformations... it's the only reason I can stand to let her be with him. And I'm pretty sure a lot of that control stems from his feelings for her. He can't bear to think he might be a danger to her, so he works that much harder to make sure he isn't. As much as it pains me to say it, I know how much he loves her. Where Bella's safety is concerned, I trust him. I _despise _him, but I trust him."

"And right now, he's confessing his feelings, and asking Bella to chose him over you."

"It's nothing that I don't deserve."

"Maybe," she said, then smiled kindly and took my hand. "But isn't that the nature of love? It's undeserved. That's what makes it such a gift." Alice stood up then, her eyes daring me to question her logic. "Now, the sooner you finish hunting, the sooner you can get back to Bella. I'm sure she'll be anxious to tell you all about her amusing trip to La Push."

I wasn't as certain as Alice seemed to be that Bella would want to talk about what happened, but I knew in that moment how necessary it was. Assuming Bella turned Jacob down – which, for my sanity, I had to believe – I wanted her to know that I understood if his confession had made her question her options. She had to know I wasn't upset with her, that honestly, I would expect nothing less. The important thing was that she knew what her heart wanted. As long as I was still who she wished to spend forever with, we could put everything else behind us.

Alice hunted with me over the next hour. I tried to concentrate, but my focus simply wasn't there. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I asked if Bella was home yet.

She scowled at me. "Well, I haven't seen anything, so I would assume not. Relax, okay? Remember why you came today in the first place."

"I haven't forgotten. But if the point was to prepare me for the fight, in whatever way possible, then I think it's time I headed home. I'm strong in all the ways Carlisle intended by insisting on this trip. My mind is what I have to prepare now – and it's not doing me one bit of good being away from her."

Frustrated that her positive words hadn't seemed to do much good, her thoughts launched into a steady stream of insults. After a few moments, though, her silent tirade ended in something that resembled acceptance, and really, that was all I could ask for.

"You'll tell the others?" I hedged. "I mean, you'll make them understand why I had to leave?"

"Consider it done. I've already seen their reactions. Em and Jazz aren't going to let this one go easily. Carlisle, however, will smile and make some offhanded comment about the whims of young love."

"Thanks," I breathed.

"What kind of a sister would I be if I wasn't willing to make excuses for my pathetic, love-sick brother?"

With one last nod of understanding, Alice waved me away. "Go. Wait at the line like I know you want to."

"Thanks," I repeated, already running

I'd noticed Bella had forgotten to take her phone with her, so I was expecting to get a call from Jacob at some point. Although I knew it was possible he would simply drive her home himself, I was letting myself hope she would prefer I picked her up. I wanted to think all his confession would do would be to create an awkwardness between them that Bella would be anxious to get away from.

I knew it would show far greater patience and sensibility to wait for her call at home, but as soon as my car was in sight, I knew sensibility wasn't going to win this time. I was inside the Volvo, engine revving, as I clutched my cell phone expectantly. I'd barely pulled out of the driveway when it rang.

"Bella?" I answered immediately. "You left the phone... I'm sorry, did Jacob drive you home?"

"Yes," she muttered, irritation saturating her voice. That was definitely a good sign. "Will you come and get me, please?"

"I'm on my way." My brief moment of excitement over my perceived victory quickly dissipated when I realized there was more to the edge in her voice than just frustration. There wasn't even a hint of the awkwardness I'd allowed myself to hope for, and her request for me to pick her up sounded more pleading than I could have imagined. "What's wrong?" I asked nervously.

"I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it's broken."

On another day, under different circumstances, I might have lovingly chided her on being more careful. Somehow, though, I could hear that this injury wasn't the product of Bella's usual carelessness. When she fell or bumped into something, there was always an air of casual indifference in her voice. A day in the life, so to speak.

Not today. Today, her voice was ice cold.

"What happened?" I asked, my knuckles clenching as I imagined all the ways that filthy beast could have harmed her.

"I punched Jacob," she said dryly, offering no further explanation. Not that I needed one. Whatever her reason, I was sure he deserved it. Considering the events that had most surely unfolded, I could say with confidence that punching Jacob was a wise choice, and I was proud of her for acting so prudently.

"Good," I assured her. "Though I'm sorry you're hurt."

She laughed quietly, then sighed. "I wish I'd hurt _him_. I didn't do any damage at all."

"I can fix that," I said lightly, sure she was joking and trying to play along.

"I was hoping you would say that." There was absolutely no trace of humor in her voice. I was so stunned that, for a moment, my foot let off the gas. Since when did Bella grant me permission to harm her best friend?

"That doesn't sound like you," I said gently. Although I couldn't entirely explain the feeling, I was almost afraid to ask the next question. "What did he _do_?"

"He kissed me," she said without hesitation, her tone biting. If there were still blood in my veins, it would have been boiling to the point of explosion. It felt as if acid were rising in my throat, a burn completely different than the familiar pain of thirst. As if of its own volition, the engine raced and charged forward, my hands gripping the wheel as my foot pressed to the floor, urging it to go faster than it already was.

The only thing keeping me from jumping out of my own skin at that moment, was the knowledge that Bella was upset with Jacob, and had called me. Obviously, the kiss had been entirely one sided. However, that also meant it had been against Bella's will, which only made me more furious.

"Is the dog still there?" I asked. I thought I'd heard he and Charlie speaking in the background, but how could Charlie have allowed him to stay after what he'd done?

"Yes," she answered, and my rage spiked. Jacob had kissed Bella without her permission. Why was he still in their home? Why was he still standing?

"I'm around the corner," I told her. As my car came to a screeching halt outside her house, I had every intention of fulfilling Bella's wishes and finishing what she had started. It took every ounce of strength within me, but I waited outside while she informed Charlie her hand was swelling. My fists clenched, almost painfully with the effort it was taking to restrain myself from breaking the door down... and then breaking Jacob.

Yet, when she opened the door, the moment I saw her kind eyes – no fury, only love for me – I knew taking care of her was the only thing I needed to worry about. Dealing with Jacob could wait.

"Let me see," I said softly, lifting her hand with more care than I'd ever taken with her, fragile as she'd always been. It was the first time I was grateful for my icy skin. I could see the relief on her face as I touched it softly. There was a fair amount of swelling, and I could already feel a bruise forming below the surface.

"I think you're right about the break. I'm proud of you. You must have put some force behind this."

"As much as I have. Not enough, apparently," she added sulkily.

I kissed her hand lightly, letting my cool breath wash over her injury. I wanted to take all her pain away, and as I looked into her eyes, I felt a flash of excitement that soon, she would not be so delicate. When she was changed, she could punch that mongrel properly. In the meantime, however...

"I'll take care of it," I said with a slight smile, calling, "Jacob."

If he'd had a thought in his thick skull up to that point, I hadn't heard it. My every sense was focused on Bella. Now, though, she was watching me expectantly, and Jacob's stare was boring into me.

"Now, now," Charlie warned.

_Yeah, leech. What are you gonna do to me with Charlie here? Not so tough when Chief Swan is watching, are you?_

"I don't want any fighting, do you understand?" Charlie said, glaring at me as Jacob grinned. "I can go put my badge on it that makes my request more official."

I felt Bella sigh at my side, whether from disappointment or embarrassment I wasn't sure.

"That won't be necessary," I said calmly. Bella, however, was not calm. I heard her heart start racing.

"Why don't you arrest me, Dad?" she snapped. "I'm the one throwing punches."

Charlie nearly laughed, and I suddenly remembered how irritating the whole situation was. Why was he still acting like I was the bad guy? I should have been standing in line behind Charlie to make Jacob suffer for his actions.

"Do you want me to press charges, Jake?" he asked sarcastically.

"No," Jacob said, grinning. "I'll take the trade any day." _Not like it hurt, anyway. And even if it had, I still have the memory of Bella's sweet lips on mine to take the pain away._

I cringed, silently reminding myself the importance of restraint, composure. Pummeling Jacob wouldn't solve anything. Except that it would make Bella feel better... and I'd never wanted to wipe the smirk off his face more than at that second.

"Dad, don't you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute," Bella said, snapping me out of what was likely a very dangerous train of thought.

"Enough, Bella," Charlie said with a tone of authority that really would have been better directed at Jacob. Did he honestly think him such a great person that his actions deserved no consequences? What would he think if he knew Jacob spent the majority of his time these days running around on all fours, hunting vampires, and sharing thoughts with the rest of the Quileute boys?

I felt Bella's anger escalating next to me, her body temperature rising as her glare shirted between Charlie and Jacob.

"Let's go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell," I said calmly, pulling her closer.

"Fine," she mumbled, sinking into my embrace and effectively silencing my lingering thoughts of revenge.

Jacob's mind was babbling insults, and Charlie's was his usual dizzying medley of conflicting thoughts. I still couldn't understand his nonchalance about Jacob. Where was the over-protective father figure I knew him to be? Then, I heard it; a shift in the tenor of his thoughts. It happened when he saw the way I has holding onto Bella, gently guiding her through the door and down the stairs. Something registered, if only for a moment, and I could hear that he understood. I was Bella's protector. I was taking every precaution, bound and determined not to let anything hurt her more than she already was – and Jacob was just standing there with a sly grin on his face.

Charlie glanced at Jacob, a flicker of irritation passing over him, followed by an uncharacteristic wave of guilt. Had he been defending the wrong person? As quickly as it had entered his mind, however, it disappeared. Too long had he been fighting for Jacob, standing up for the boy he deemed worthy to date his daughter.

Bella and I were already outside when Jacob finally managed to pull his thoughts together and form a coherent sentence. He was walking toward us while Charlie warned him not to.

_You're seriously just going to walk away? Aw, I was looking forward to this. Can't show your strength in front of Charlie... you'd have to pretend you weren't a freak for a few minutes. It would have been a welcome change._

I couldn't show my strength, but Jacob couldn't phase. I would have him out of sight before Charlie's eyes could focus on the scene before him. As furious as Bella was, however, I knew it wasn't what she really wanted. I kept walking, tightening my grip on Bella just slightly to stop myself from doing something she would regret. I helped her into the car, making sure she was comfortable before turning to Jacob.

"I'm not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella," I said calmly.

"Hmph," she sighed dejectedly. I smiled at her, wondering if she knew how happy that small sound had made me.

"It would bother you in the morning," I assured her, touching her cheek, thrilled by her smile and the heat in her skin beneath my fingers. Jacob was trying to keep his thoughts from me, but from what I heard, that exchange hurt him more than anything else she'd said. I turned back to Jacob, his expression seething.

"But if you ever bring her back damaged again – and I don't care whose fault it is; I don't care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head – if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that, mongrel?"

Jacob rolled his eyes but I could hear a trace of fear as he processed my words. He knew I could break him like a twig, and without Bella urging me not to, I had no reason to keep my impulses in check.

"Who's going back?" Bella murmured from the car.

Though I wished I could turn and smile at her again, I didn't want to break eye contact with Jacob. He needed to know that I was absolutely serious.

"And if you ever kiss her again, I _will_ break your jaw for her."

_Wow, jealous much? Can't handle a little competition?_ His cockiness had returned, but I could hear every thought as it jumped through his mind. He was afraid – not just of me, but that he might have actually lost Bella over his juvenile stunt. I saw it; the moment he kissed her and the thing he himself didn't want to admit – Bella hadn't reciprocated the kiss, even for an instant.

"What if she wants me to?" he asked. _Please want me to, Bella._

"Hah!" she laughed. Jacob kept his gaze fixed on me. He couldn't stand to look at Bella furious with him any longer.

"If that's what she wants, then I won't object," I assured him. "You might want to wait for her to _say_ it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language – but it's your face."

Jacob smiled as he imagined Bella running up to his house. The door opened and she flew into his arms, kissing him the way he wished she had today. As if Bella could see his delusion as clearly as I had, she muttered, "You wish."

"Yes, he does," I said softly, feeling a brief moment of pity for him. I could only imagine the pain of loving Bella without having her love in return.

The image he longed for so deeply vanished, and he focused his glare on me once more. "Well, if you're done rummaging through my head, why don't you go take care of her hand?" _You may have her now, but forever is a long time. As soon as she figures that out, you might not look like such a prize._

So, Jacob was banking on Bella getting bored with me. I suppose it was something to be considered. He was right, after all. Forever is a long time. Eternity was a hard enough concept for me and my family to comprehend, and we'd had countless years to ponder it. Bella was only human. I'd wondered many times if she really knew what she was asking for.

Still, I _had _promised I would stop trying to make her choices for her – and she had chosen me. Me, my family, _this life_. She'd made up her mind, and if I let myself be truly honest, I'd grown rather used to the idea. Bella was mine, now and forever. I wasn't about to let her go.

"One more thing," I said, looking straight at Jacob. "I'll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will."

"Good," he said, unshaken. "It's no fun beating someone who forfeits." Then, he sent another slew of sought after images toward me, some less than decent, and smiled casually as I cringed.

"She _is _mine," I growled. "I didn't say I would fight fair."

"Neither did I."

"Best of luck."

His smile widened, and he nodded slightly. _Filthy leech... Bella will come to her senses soon enough. _"Yes, may the best _man _win."

It never ceased to amaze me how easily Jacob could forget his own abnormality. Was a wolf really so much better than a vampire?

"That sounds about right... pup," I said, happy when I saw a favorite image of he and Bella tainted by the thought of him phasing before her eyes. Even in his mind, she disappeared as he ran off after his pack.

Trying his best to smile through the pain only I knew he was feeling, Jacob turned to Bella. "I hope your hand feels better soon. I'm really sorry you're hurt."

Bella didn't respond. She wouldn't even look at him. _I'm an idiot, _he thought, his eyes glazing over.

Yes. But loves turns us all into fools. I knew that better than most.

Jacob was already gone by the time I reached the car. "How do you feel?" I asked her.

"Irritated."

"I meant your hand," I laughed.

"I've had worse," she shrugged. That was putting it mildly. I felt a stab of pain as I remembered the _far_ worse injuries she'd sustained at the hands of James. All because of me.

"True,"I said quietly, trying to push away my guilt.

I'm not sure whether I was more relieved or concerned that Bella didn't seem to want to talk about the day's events. I'd seen the highlights through the medium of Jacob's thoughts, but it occurred to me about halfway home that I still didn't know how she'd responded to his confession of love. I assumed it had happened in the moments before his unbidden kiss. Had it been a last, desperate attempt, or had Bella given him reason to think she wanted him to kiss her?

The curiosity was eating away at me, but I didn't want to say anything to upset Bella more than she already was. When he arrived home, Emmett was helping Rose work on the Jeep – well, not so much helping as holding it up while she did all the work. It was a good thing he didn't seem to have any self-esteem issues, since Rose was better than him at basically everything.

_Well, this oughta be good,_ Emmett thought, watching as I carefully helped Bella out of the car. I glared at him, silently begging him to drop it, but Emmett couldn't be stopped.

"Fall down again, Bella?"

Bella's glare put mine to shame. "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face."

He was startled for a moment, trying to figure out if she was serious. Then, he burst into a fit of laughter.

_Well, what do you know? The girl's got a spine after all, _Rose thought, still under the car. "Jasper's going to win the bet," she said. I could tell she was grinning.

Emmett's laughter stopped. _No. Just because she's got a bit of a temper doesn't mean she's going to go all homicidal._

"What bet?" Bella asked, her brow pulling together as she watched Emmett.

"Let's get you to Carlisle," I said, hoping futilely to distract her. I faced Emmett, my eyes fierce, a growl too low for Bella to hear rumbling in my chest as I shook my head at him. _Not now. Please_.

_"What bet?" _she repeated, turning toward me.

"Thanks, Rosalie," I snarled under my breath, still trying to move Bella into the house. I knew I'd have to tell her, but maybe it could at least wait until we were inside with Carlisle. She would be upset, and there was no one better than Carlisle to talk to her about this particular issue.

"Edward..." she continued. I sighed, attempting to stall a little longer.

"It's infantile," I started. "Emmett and Jasper like to gamble."

"Emmett will tell me," she said, struggling to look back at him.

I held her tightly as I chose my words carefully. "They're betting on how many times you... slip up in the first year."

"Oh," she breathed quietly. It took a few seconds for the full weight of what I was saying to set in, but then I felt her shiver. "They have a bet about how many people I'll kill?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper's favor." Where was Carlisle when I needed him? His personal success would remind her that _slipping up_ wasn't necessarily a guarantee. I refused to get involved in their childish bet, but if I had, my money would be on a perfect scorecard for her. I would watch her, help her. I could keep her out of temptation's way.

She was still watching me, horrified. "Jasper's betting high."

"It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. He's tired of being the weakest link," I said, trying to take the focus off of her.

"Sure. Of course it will. I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy. Why not?" Her tone was flat, but I could hear the hysteria that was bubbling right under the surface. She would be hyperventilating in a a few moments if I couldn't get her mind off of it.

"You don't need to worry about it now," I said, hugging her tightly to me. "In fact, you don't have to worry about it ever, if you don't want to."

Bella made a pained sound and I realized that in my panic, I had forgotten about her injured hand. I quickly hurried her into the house, where Carlisle was already waiting. Alice was standing beside him, an extremely prideful expression on her face as she looked at Bella.

_I couldn't see it until you two were alone, _she thought, beaming at me. _Told you you didn't have anything to worry about. Sure wish I could have seen that punch, though. The look on Jacob's face must have been priceless._

I smiled back, more than a little proud myself, then walked with Bella into Carlisle's office. He had everything he needed to examine her hand there. I would never admit it, and I hoped it never occurred to her, but before Bella, Carlisle had never kept many medical supplies on hand – just a few things for when he brought his work home with him. There had never been any need. Now, his office was practically a second hospital.

"It's a very small fracture, and it should heal fairly quickly," Carlisle told her. "I'd still like to put a cast on, but if you're strongly opposed, a brace should be sufficient. _If _you promise to keep it on all the time, that is."

"I promise," she said, blushing, then muttered, "Can't believe _I'm _the one in the stupid brace..." I had a feeling her embarrassment was starting to outweigh the physical pain.

As Carlisle carefully secured the brace to her hand, a strange expression crossed Bella's face. I worried that she was hurting and offered to get her a pain reliever, but she shook her head and assured me she was all right. I looked to Carlisle, and he shrugged his shoulders unobtrusively.

_She doesn't appear to be in much pain. She's able to hold her hand fairly steady and her pulse hasn't increased as I've added pressure. She's fine, Edward. She's just had a long day._

I watched him for several minutes, the way he meticulously cared for her injury. After all these years, helping people was still his greatest joy in life. A hint of a smile tugged at his lips as he finished.

"There," he said softly. "You'll be as good as new in no time."

I looked back at Bella, expecting her to be watching Carlisle the way I had been, but her gaze was fixed on me. She muttered a quiet "thank you" to Carlisle, but her attention was clearly elsewhere. She was staring at me with a strange longing I'd never seen before. It seemed Carlisle felt the tension in the air as well, because he disappeared without another word.

"Bella?" I asked, suddenly nervous. "Do you want me to take you home?"

She shook her head, eyes never leaving mine. I took two steps, closing the distance between us, and hugged her gently. When I went to pull away, she muttered, "no," almost silently, and pressed herself to me, holding on even tighter than usual. Silently, with her uninjured hand, she took hold of mine, and pulled me toward my room.

I didn't ask what was bothering her. We didn't say another word the rest of the evening. We simply held each other – and I was left wondering what secret thoughts she was hiding, and what I could do to take that look of unknown sadness from her eyes.


	14. Epoch EPOV

A/N: So _slightly_ more timely update than last time... And what's that? The proposal is only 4 chapters away? Pardon me while I go attempt to hide my nerves. :)

Hope everyone's enjoying their New Moon DVD, I know I am! (And I firmly believe that the extended Carlilse scene should have been kept in tact...) Love ya'll, and keep the reviews coming... they make me grin like I do when I'm watching the Eclipse trailer for the hundredth time! Thanks again to shasta53 for beta-ing (and giving me a little pep talk).

Epoch – EPOV

I'd never been able to read Bella as well as I wanted to, although I'd like to think I've gotten better at it as we've spent more time together. The days following my mandatory hunting trip, however, made me feel blind and helpless. I couldn't even begin to guess what was going through her mind. All I knew was that she was looking at me with a strange new kind of longing that was somehow both flattering and unsettling. I hoped to discover some clue through Alice, but she either didn't know what was going on, or was getting exceptionally good at blocking me.

"You worry too much, Edward," she trilled on her way out to buy Bella's graduation outfit. Apparently, all the things Bella had been considering wearing were "unacceptable options."

Alice had informed me that I was not allowed to come along for the outfit unveiling, telling me it was more fun to let it be a surprise, which left me with an afternoon of stewing. Carlisle came downstairs to find me pacing, and gently placed a hand on my shoulder.

"We're all going to be fine," he said softly, misreading my concerned expression.

"I know," I assured him. It was a little surprising to realize that I genuinely meant it. Oddly enough, the upcoming battle was the last thing on my mind. I'd been so preoccupied with figuring out who'd been in Bella's room, not to mention counting the days until graduation. How long after that fateful day would she want to be changed? Would she grant me a few months, or weeks, or would she insist it happen immediately? We'd discussed waiting until after she'd supposedly started college, the infamous cover story to appease Charlie, but nothing had been set in stone. Now, with her things being taken by an unknown vampire, and an army of newborns ready to attack, I was certain she was more anxious than ever.

Of course, the timing wasn't the only thing on my mind. I'd spent a lot of time lately thinking about our ridiculous bargain. More specifically, I was thinking about whether or not _Bella _was thinking about it. Not long ago, we'd spoken so openly with each other about the whole arrangement. I understood her side, or at least I was trying to – these days _eighteen_ and _married _didn't often go together. Yet, somehow, it seemed she was beginning to understand where I was coming from, and why it was so important to me. Soon, she would be a part of my world, timeless, ageless... She was already giving me forever, what reason was there not to promise eternity as my wife?

_Edward? _Carlisle was looking at me, perplexed. I had frozen in place, my eyes focused on nothing in particular.

"I'm sorry, I just have a lot of my mind."

"With good reason. But if you're truly not worried about what we're about to face with the newborns, then what could possibly be highest on your list of concerns?"

I looked at him, almost embarrassed to say it. In the grand scheme of things, surely there were more pressing matters.

"You know you can always talk to me about anything, right?"

"You've always been very kind and understanding, Carlisle. And I've always been honest with you, about every fear, every dark moment of my life. You helped me when I didn't know whether I was strong enough to be with Bella. You encouraged me, trusted me, and then you welcomed her in like a daughter. It shouldn't be difficult to talk to you now, yet I'm finding it hard to even form the words."

"You're worried about her transformation."

"Of course I am, but because I made that absurd bargain, there's so much more to it than that. I'm constantly on edge, wondering if she's going to accept my proposal or not. If she doesn't, that means she's starting her new life still afraid of marrying me, and I'm having a hard time making sense of that. If she agrees to it, though, then I'm faced with the seemingly impossible task of changing her myself. How could I have promised such a thing, Carlisle? I don't know whether or not I'm strong enough to do that!"

"You _are_ strong enough. You've tasted her blood before, under far more dire circumstances than what you'll face should you be in that position once more. When you saved her life, it was a split second decision. You weren't given time first to prepare yourself, which is a luxury you will now have. You two will have to discuss this, of course, but if you wish, I can be present. Perhaps Emmett as well, ready to stop you if it becomes too much. We won't let you hurt her, I can promise you that. Not that I think you're capable of it, anyway."

"Thank you. You've always had more faith in me than I deserve. I want to believe you. I _need _to believe you. We've just come so far, Carlisle, and now I don't know what to do next."

The strangest smile crept onto his face and I could hear a brief flicker of a conversation with Alice before he stopped his thoughts in their tracks. I raised one eyebrow in question and he laughed.

"It's not my place to say, but suffice it to say, Alice doesn't think you have anything to worry about."

"Are you really choosing now to be cryptic?" I asked, trying not to be irritated. His smile only widened.

"You're not the only one who's had a lot on their mind lately. Try to be patient with Bella, and let her sort things out for herself. This is the biggest decision she will ever make, and you want her to be completely certain."

I wasn't sure if he was talking about her transformation, or marriage, or something else entirely, but I suddenly felt even more in the dark than I had before. I sighed, frustrated, and Carlisle's expression shifted.

"You two will sort things out," he said in his kind, fatherly tone. "Right now, however, I believe you have another graduation to attend. What number is this now?"

"Please don't remind me."

"All right. Remember, though, this is the first time for Bella, and you don't want her to be late."

"So, do you think that maybe after Bella is changed, we can hold off on starting the whole high school charade again? I really do think she'd enjoy college."

His eyes went somber and I heard what he wouldn't say out loud. It would be some time before Bella would be ready to be anywhere near students, high school or college. His face softened again quickly, and he smiled his warmest, most reassuring smile.

"You'll watch over her. You won't let her do anything she will spend forever regretting. Then, when she's ready, you can help her get the finest college education she could ever dream of."

I forced a smile, then ran upstairs to get ready. If it was possible for me to feel my age, I would have felt it as I stared at the row of graduation attire tucked away at the back of my closet. What colors were the Forks High gowns? Blue? Yellow? Had I really been paying so little attention? With a roll of my eyes, I grabbed both colors and headed down to my car.

When I arrived, Bella looked radiant but nervous. There was still a hint of whatever baffling emotion had been plaguing her these past few days. She was showing an obvious anxiety about the upcoming event, but her pulse slowed and her posture relaxed as soon as I took her in my arms. She smiled up at me warmly as I surrounded myself with her luscious scent and held her close. When she reluctantly pulled away, I took a moment to really look at her. Alice had outdone herself again. She knew I loved Bella in blue, a lovely compliment to her chocolate brown hair, and her eyes were deeper than ever as she stared up at me.

I was whispering to Bella how lovely she was when Charlie cleared his throat and signaled that it was time for us to leave. I had expected Alice to be waiting at the house, anxious to show off Bella's new ensemble, but apparently she'd left a few minutes before I'd arrived, explaining that she would meet us there. Maybe she didn't want to intrude on Bella and Charlie's time together. He would never admit it, but he was finding it harder to let go of Bella than he'd expected. This evening was very special to him, and I was more than happy to step aside and let him fulfill his fatherly role. Which was why I'd agreed to ride quietly in the back seat while Charlie drove.

I listened to Charlie's fascinating mind, which was, strangely enough, clearer than usual. It seemed as if the more irritated he was with me, the more coherent he sounded. I could always hear the tenor of his thoughts, but tonight, it was quite obvious he was wishing the end of high school meant the end of my time with Bella. He kept glancing back at me, thinking it was hilarious to see me riding in the back of his police car, though there wasn't a single crime he could actually imagine me committing. I smiled, happy that although he may never approve of me dating his daughter, in his heart, he knew I was a good person.

I knew it was coming, but I still felt assaulted as we neared the parking lot. There were few times when people's minds were racing more than at a high school graduation, even one as small as this. Every student and every parent was going over checklists and thinking about the future. It was also a time for nostalgia and reminiscing about the past four years. After so many decades, it shouldn't still bother me, but I couldn't fight off the twinge of bitterness. For everyone else, it was the end of one era and the start of the next. Their lives were moving forward while mine stayed forever locked in place.

This time, however, I would have Bella by my side. My constant, beautiful, perfect reminder that my unchanging life was finally about to take a step forward. I looked toward her with a smile, but her expression made all my feelings of comfort disappear. I wanted to believe that it was just nerves, but it seemed like there was something more just under the surface. She was staring absently out the window, and every once in awhile, her eyes would widen and she looked as if she were trying to focus in on something.

"Are you all right?" I asked quietly when we arrived at the school.

"Nervous," she said, attempting a smile. Though I suspected otherwise, it was easy to convince myself that was all that was bothering her. Attention, in any form, made her uncomfortable. While this evening, for me, meant an hour or so of boredom, it was so much worse for her.

"You are so beautiful," I told her. I was about to add in a whisper that if this was the last graduation she ever wanted to attend, that was fine with me. It was one part of the charade I wouldn't mind doing away with. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by Charlie.

He wedged himself in between us, and I guiltily found myself thinking about a time in the not-too-distant future when no one, not even Charlie, would be coming between us ever again. I quickly banished the thought, reminding myself that this was Charlie's night with Bella, and I needed to allow them this time. It wasn't only for Charlie's sake, either. I knew Bella needed some sort of closure with her father, and, by its very nature, this night already had an air of finality to it. I wondered if that was why she seemed out of sorts.

Charlie hugged Bella tighter than I'd ever seen, and gave her an abbreviated version of the speech that was running through his mind. Bella seemed a little embarrassed by his sudden affection, but if she could have seen what I was seeing, her face would have been three shades redder. His mind was playing images like they were old home movies, reminiscing about his little girl – the times they'd spent together, and the time he was only now realizing he'd lost. I almost wanted to push Bella back into his arms again, but he was already putting the walls back up.

"Dad, please don't get all weepy on me," she mumbled.

"Who's weepy?" he asked, trying to keep his emotions from escaping. "Now, why aren't you excited?"

"I don't know, Dad. I guess it hasn't hit yet or something." I wondered if I imagined the look of panic that flickered in her eyes.

"It's good that Alice is throwing this party," Charlie told her. "You need something to perk you up."

"Sure. A party's exactly what I need."

I wanted to talk to Bella again, to see if she was ready to discuss whatever was bothering her. After Charlie had given her one last squeeze and wished her luck, I tried to pull her aside, but the chaos around us escalated before I had the chance. She looked at me wearily as we were shuffled off in different directions, kept apart this time by alphabetization. I searched frantically for Alice in hopes that she had seen something that might be helpful. Although, if Bella's nerves were about the upcoming party, I was certain Alice would be doing her best to hide it from me.

Alice didn't show up until the last possible minute, flitting into line right before our names were called, with a smile on her face. She wouldn't look me in the eye, wouldn't say a word. She wasn't even _thinking _in English. Then, the moment she stepped off the stage, she was gone. I don't know how she disappeared unseen when there were so many people around, but even I hadn't actually caught her exit, so I supposed she hadn't raised any suspicion.

I was agitated, wishing I could escape like Alice, but I wanted to see Bella receive her diploma. She'd worked hard to get good grades, somehow managing to keep them up even when the madness of my world threatened to break her. On top of good grades, Bella also had a wonderful circle of friends who genuinely cared for her, despite Charlie's concerns that she spent all her time with me. Obnoxious as he was, even Mike wanted the best for her, although to him, that would mean Bella dumping me right after graduation.

I smiled as I listened to the thoughts swirling around me, enjoying them in a way I never had. I wouldn't quite call it nostalgia since there wasn't really anything about this place I would be missing – Bella had been the only part of my Forks High experience that had broken the monotony. Still, Forks had brought me to Bella, and for that, I would be forever in its debt. Wherever we ended up after she was changed, this would be the place Bella and I had fallen in love, where we'd beat the odds stacked so high against us – where she'd been human, in love with a vampire.

When Bella walked onto that stage, her cheeks adorably red and her eyes pointed to the ground, I felt a surge of pride. Whatever happened, at least she'd gotten to have this human experience. I heard Charlie, Jacob, and Billy cheering for her, and caught a smile fluttering across her lips. Then, she glanced toward my row briefly, meeting my eyes for only a moment before they began searching again. She looked concerned. Maybe she was looking for Alice and worrying that she'd already left to finish the party details.

When the ceremony was over, I walked up behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her.

"Congratulations," I said softly, my lips brushing against her ear.

"Um, thanks." She was still looking around distractedly.

"You don't look like you're over the nerves yet."

"Not quite yet."

"What's left to worry about? The party? It won't be that horrible."

"You're probably right." It wasn't until I saw her halfhearted smile that I started getting the sinking feeling that Alice's disappearance and Bella's concerned expression were related. Alice _had _been working extraordinarily hard at keeping me out, but how could Bella have possibly known that?

"Who are you looking for?" I asked, hoping my fears were unjustified. She could searching for Jessica or Angela. I'd even settle for her trying to find Mike Newton if it meant nothing was wrong.

"Alice," she said sheepishly. "Where is she?"

"She ran out as soon as she had her diploma."

What did Alice know that she was so determined to keep from me? It had to be about the newborns – something must have happened. Still, how would Bella know something about the situation that I didn't? I stared at the door, planning my exit, no longer concerned with keeping up appearances. I was about to make my escape when Bella stopped me.

"Worrying about Alice?" she asked, attempting to sound casual but failing miserably.

"Er..." The last thing I wanted was Bella thinking that I was worrying. I was fairly certain her ability to deal with the extreme circumstances that were soon heading directly for us, was largely due to the fact that I was working so hard to keep _my _nerves at bay.

"What was she thinking about, anyway? To keep you out, I mean."

That stopped me in my tracks. Being accustomed to having nearly limitless insight into what everyone around me is thinking, it was more than a little unsettling to realize I was being kept in the dark on purpose.

"She was translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic, actually. When she finished that, she moved on the Korean sign language."

Bella laughed, her eyes wide and focused everywhere but on me. I'd never seen her afraid to talk to me before, which was making my panic grow more every second.

"I suppose that _would _keep her head busy enough."

"You know what she's hiding from me," I said flatly. It wasn't a question. I knew I was being conspired against.

"Sure," she said, feigning nonchalance. "I'm the one who came up with it."

Being caught off guard wasn't something I was used to, and I waited, confused and frustrated. I stared at her, silently pleading to put me out of my misery. What did Alice know that she would make her confide in Bella but not me? It had to be something so terrible, they thought me incapable of handing reasonably.

For a moment, I panicked, fearing as I had before that the army of newborns had decided we were a threat to their claimed territory. Perhaps Alice had seen a vision of them coming to destroy us, and when Bella realized what was happening, she'd insisted on being changed right away. I was having visions of Bella being whisked away. Alice had offered to change her once before – was she about to make good on her promise? It would explain Alice's determination to keep me out of her head, as well as Bella's obvious nervousness.

She was looking everywhere but at me, which didn't help me feel any more at ease.

"Knowing Alice," she said quietly, still not meeting my gaze, "she'll probably try to keep this from you until after the party. But since I'm all for the party being canceled – well, don't go berserk, regardless, okay? It's always better to know as much as possible. It has to help somehow."

She was babbling, clearly avoiding the subject. "What are you talking about?"

"Just stay calm, okay?" Nothing good has every followed those words. I nodded, not because I wanted her to continue, but because I _needed _her to. Whatever was coming for us, she had to know I would protect her. There was no need to rush into things out of fear.

"I think you're wrong about things coming at us from all sides. I think it's mostly coming at us from one side... and I think it's coming at me, really. It's all connected, it has to be. It's just one person who's messing with Alice's visions. The stranger in my room was a test, to see if someone could get around her. It's got to be the same one who keeps changing his mind, and the newborns, and stealing my clothes – all of it goes together. My scent is for them."

_No. _Everything inside me instantly argued against the idea that this many vampires, something _this_ monumental could all be for Bella. Then again, where Bella was concerned, I suppose anything is possible. She'd already managed to enrage a group of nomads and get on the Volturi's hit list. Why wouldn't there be an entire army created for her destruction?

"But no one's coming for you, don't you see? This is good – Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one wants to hurt them!" Bella was speaking frantically, and it sounded like she was trying to make this realization into a good thing. My mind was racing so fast, I was having a hard time focusing on her.

I didn't want to admit it, but in a sick way, it did all make sense. The timing of it all was too perfect. That Alice could miss both the stranger in Bella's room and the creation of an army seemed nearly impossible. It seemed almost ridiculously clear. Of course it was related, and I was a fool for not seeing it sooner.

Through my sudden terror, I felt Bella's gentle touch on my cheek. "Calm," she said softly, and I forced my eyes to meet hers. She looked like she wanted to say more, but at that moment, we heard Charlie coming up behind us.

"Bella!" he was shouting. "Congratulations, baby!" He shoved me aside, though I was still reaching toward Bella. Normally in far better control on my emotions, I shudder to think what showed on my face. Fortunately, no one was looking at me – no one except Bella, that is. She was watching me warily as Charlie worked to exclude me from the celebration.

As I watched Bella with Charlie, her desperate attempt to appear normal though she must be terrified, I found myself furious. Her nervousness, all of her sideways glances, everything I hadn't been able to read on her face now made sense. Whoever was after her had managed to ruin this day for her, perhaps her last real human milestone**, **and for that, I'd never been more determined to destroy them.

"You coming, too, Edward?" I heard Charlie mutter. I hadn't heard a word he'd said before that, though I assumed he was begrudgingly inviting me to whatever post-graduation celebration he had planned for Bella.

"No, thank you," I said, trying to muster up some amount of normalcy in my voice.

"Do you have plans with your parents?"

"Yes. If you'll excuse me..." I felt myself take off at a near run, hopefully catching my mistake and slowing down before anyone noticed. I should have stayed to listen to the thoughts around me, but at this point, what did it matter? We would soon be leaving Forks behind.

The moment the door closed behind me, I started listening. I knew Alice would have told the rest of the family by now, and someone would be keeping guard. It didn't take long before I heard Emmett muttering fight strategies as he circled the perimeter of the school. Assured Bella was protected, I started running toward home, my cell phone already in my hand. It was ringing before I had time to dial the number.

"Why didn't you tell me, Alice?" I shouted.

"She didn't want to upset you, and I figured a few hours wouldn't hurt. I was going to tell you before the party."

"Right," I muttered, indignant.

"The rest of the family knows and are already mapping out a new strategy. Bella is safe. What harm was done by letting you enjoy graduation?"

"This isn't about me! Bella was a nervous wreck the whole night. I could have been comforting her, I could have been reassuring her that we're not going to let anyone hurt her."

"She _knows _that, Edward. And she wasn't nervous about someone coming after her, she was worried that you would be upset. She's relieved, strange as that might sound. She's been terrified that the newborns were coming after us, that something was going to happen to Esme, or me, or you. I know you've never been fond of hearing about her complete lack of self preservation, but just this once, could you listen to me when I tell you that Bella is fine!" There was silence on the other line as I tried to process what Alice was telling me. "She's jumpy, but fine," she added when I didn't say anything, and I heard the smile in her voice.

I slowed my run as I approached the house, determined to get myself together before going in. It sounded like everyone else was okay with this new discovery, taking it one step at a time and planning methodically. It was a struggle, but I tried to appear calm as I stepped inside.

_You look better_, Alice thought as I came inside. _If only I didn't know you better. Still, it's nice that you're trying. _I sighed and mouthed, "thanks" to her. I could hear Carlisle in the living room, going through the new information and what it meant for us.

"Assuming they really are only interested in Bella, then all we have to do to ensure they come to us, is keep Bella here."

"That should be easy enough," Rosalie added sarcastically. "It's not like he's going to let her leave the house now that he knows they're after her. And we thought he was over-protective before..."

"Rose, be kind. Your cynicism isn't going to help anyone."

_Not cynicism if it's true... _

"Edward, you're home," Esme said, interrupting me before I could say something that I probably would have felt bad for later.

"Yes, I thought I should come check in with everyone before the party. I would suggest we cancel it, but I'm assuming Alice will insist that the evening continue as planned." She smiled impishly at me before running upstairs to get more decorations. If anything, this new development had made her plans even more elaborate than they already were. Alice had decided that Bella needed as big a distraction as possible.

"Alice told me you were upset," Carlisle said evenly, "but I think I agree with Bella. This is a good thing."

"An entire army of newborns is after Bella – an army created by a vampire we still don't know the identity of, by the way – and this is a _good _thing?"

"Think about it for a moment, Edward. We've been planning to seek this army out in their territory, essentially going into the fight not only blind, but amid thousands of people. The newborns will have no regard for them, yet we must. My biggest fear has been raging a war in a city of so many. Now that we know what they're seeking, we know they will come to us."

"So Bella will just stay here and be your bait?"

I regretted it the moment I spoke, and the flash of agony in Carlisle's eyes made my guilt that much worse. Of course he would never endanger Bella. He loved her as a daughter.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "Forgive me for speaking so foolishly. I'm only trying to see things the way you are. It's difficult."

"I understand. I'm frightened for her, too, but I also know that we will be ready. Whoever this leader is most likely thinks they are a step ahead of us, since they've so far been able to get by Alice's vision. We can hope that they are still unaware of your powers, though in truth, it doesn't matter. Whether they know it or not, you will hear them coming."

That much, at least, was true. And if I was thinking about it rationally as the rest of my family was, I could see how there were some advantages to fighting in our own territory. Assuming I heard them in enough time, we could probably stop them from even entering town. A fight in our forest, an area we all knew so well, did seem like a much better option than fighting in a city where we had to worry about casualties and witnesses.

But where would Bella be throughout it all? Carlisle must have read my expression, or maybe we were both having the same fear.

_ The wolves could protect her._ My eyes flashed up to his, wide and angry at the suggestion, though somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I'd had the thought as well. _Edward, be reasonable, _he continued. _We need you with us. Our numbers are already too few. There's nowhere else, no other option that I can think of. They've guarded her before. Your feelings for Jacob aside, you know they are trustworthy __where Bella's safety is concerned._

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't argue, though I wondered if Bella would agree to it after Jacob's most recent stunt. I could almost picture her sulking on the couch at Jacob's house, as unhappy with the arrangement as I would be_. _Still, if it meant she was out of danger...

"Whatever you two are discussing, do you think we could possibly finish it later? We have a party to get ready for!" Both Carlisle and I rolled our eyes. Only Alice could think of the party at a time like this.

"Don't you think coming up with a new strategy is a little more important than a graduation party?" I asked.

"Doesn't matter. It's too late to cancel. People will be on their way soon. Speaking of which, shouldn't you be picking Bella up? They'll be finishing dinner any time, and she's expecting you." I sighed. There was no point arguing with her, and if people were already getting ready, I knew there was no hope of canceling. I hurried to the restaurant where Bella and Charlie were eating, and waited for them to finish. Emmett was still pacing around outside, his mind a strange mixture of focus and boredom. He was the only one not particularly enthused with our new "wait for them to come" plan.

"Anything unusual?" I asked him.

_Nothing. Not a single twig out of place. _It was difficult not to be irritated that he sounded disappointed. He must have read the frustration on my face because he turned instantly remorseful. _I'm sorry, it's not like you think, really. I just want this all to be over._

"Well, I'm definitely in agreement with you there."

_I'm not gonna lie, I'm excited about the fight. It'll be nice to get out there are actually _do _something, Hunting elk in the park is getting pretty boring._

"Glad to hear Bella being stalked has brought purpose to your mundane life," I muttered sarcastically.

_Will you just listen, please? Yes, I'm excited. Yes, I'm looking forward to showing those newborns who's territory this is. But you know what I'm most excited about? _I shrugged, then nearly gasped when I saw what flashed through his mind.

Our family was standing triumphant in a protective circle around Bella. She was thanking us all, then she took my hand and we ran off together. The next thing I saw was a changed Bella – indestructible and glorious. It was as clear as Alice had ever seen her, as if Emmett had somehow discovered a gift for precognition.

"I don't understand," I whispered, watching him wide-eyed. He sat down beside me and spoke aloud.

"Assuming you don't find some way to screw things up for her, I'm pretty sure this is the last time we'll be protecting Bella from anything. I know you don't want her making this choice out of fear, and I understand why you won't let her be changed before the fight – the last thing we need is another newborn to deal with. But when this is all over, there's nothing stopping her from getting what she wants. Then you can _finally _stop worrying about her all the time and she canstop being afraid. Now be honest. Doesn't that sound like a much better arrangement for everyone?"

It wasn't often Emmett surprised me, but I was speechless.

"Anyway," he continued casually, standing up. "Bella is in there making excuses to bolt from dinner, and she's been not-so-subtly looking around for you for about a half an hour. I think she'd rather see you than me waiting for her when she gets outside. I'll meet you two back at the house." With a smirk, he took off running, and he was out of sight before I'd found the words to say to him.

It was amazing, the effect seeing Bella's future through the eyes of my family had on me. Knowing how completely they accepted her, how certain they were that when all this insanity was over, Bella would be with us forever... it made everything clear. Certain.

A few minutes passed before I saw Bella step outside, her hair flowing in the light breeze. I caught her scent drifting toward me, pleasure and agony as it always was, and felt the familiar twinge of sadness that soon, it would no longer torture me. This time, though, my despair was silenced by the reminder that everything else – her beauty, her voice, her kindness, her love for me – all of it would remain, and it would be mine to cherish forever.

I was suddenly overtaken by the need to be with her. Paying no attention to who was around, I stepped out of the darkness and pulled her to me. I worried for a moment that I had startled her, but she quickly melted into my embrace. I kissed her perhaps a little too hard, forgetting my strength – forgetting _everything – _ for that moment. It wasn't until I released her that I reminded myself she was still fragile, and there was still danger. For now, at least.

"How are you?" she asked breathlessly.

"Not so great," I admitted. "But I've got a handle on myself. I'm sorry that I lost it back there."

"My fault. I should have waited to tell you."

"No. This is something I needed to know. I can't believe I didn't see it!"

"You've got a lot on your mind."

"And you don't?"

After the realization that something terrible was after her yet again, she was still determined to put my feelings first. She would never let me feel a moment of remorse or guilt for not seeing what should have been so obvious. I would never deserve her undying patience and selflessness. I kissed her again, more gently this time, but was only allowed a brief moment to revel in her perfection.

"Charlie's on his way," I told her.

"I'll have him drop me at your house."

"I'll follow you there," I promised, disappearing back into the shadows.

"That's not really necessary," she started to say. By now, she must know I'm never far away.

I ran behind the car, listening with quiet amusement to their conversation. Charlie was letting his emotions show to a small degree, and I was fairly certain Bella knew that it was only a shadow of all he was feeling. He loved her, was proud of her, and would always be grateful that she'd chosen to spend this time of her life with him. She expressed her gratitude, and I tried not to hear the sadness behind the words I recognized as a sort of good-bye. I was just beginning to see the lights in the distance that would lead to my door.

"Alice," Bella muttered, grudgingly, when she saw the endless rows of lights.

"Wow. She doesn't do things halfway, does she?" Charlie said, trying to hide how impressive he actually found it all.

"Sure you don't want to come in?" Bella asked him.

"Extremely sure. Have fun, kid."

"Thanks so much, Dad."

I watched Bella take a deep breath as she exited the car, obviously steeling her resolve as she approached the door. As Charlie drove away, a wide array of emotions fluttered through his mind as he processed the events of the night. He'd never say it aloud, but amid his lingering thoughts of dislike toward me, as he glanced in his rear-view mirror at our house, I could feel his gratitude toward my family. He was happy to know Bella was taken care of, and though he didn't understand it entirely, he could feel how well she fit in with us. He wanted Bella to have whatever made her happy, and in that moment, he started to accept that we were exactly that.

I knew that even without her recent discovery, this night was going to be difficult for Bella, and given the circumstances, I wasn't sure how I was going to get through it without going crazy. Yet as I watched the lights reflect in Bella's eyes, the moonlight dancing through her hair, all I wanted was to forget everything for the night. I wanted nothing more than to celebrate the end that would lead to her beginning.


	15. Alliance EPOV

Hello friends, how I've missed you! Busy life... but y'all know that. I've had several reviewers asking about my update time-line. Suffice it to say I wish I could update more often, but I promise I'm working on it, and giving you the best that I've got rather than a hurried, messy chapter. You can expect updates every 3-4 weeks, depending on that silly thing called my "real" job. Trust me, I'd rather be hanging out with Edward and Bella. Thank you all so much for your patience, reviews, support, and general sparkliness! (((vampire hugs))) to all!

Alliance – EPOV

Over the decades, my family and I had all gotten used to pretending. Every day, I pretended to be human, acted like a teenager, and feigned interest in subjects I knew more about than most of the teachers. Still, pretending things were normal – that _everything _wasn't crashing down on us – giving the illusion that we were all just normal seniors enjoying our graduation party was going to be a very difficult task. As I watched Bella walk up the stairs to my house, a look of sheer determination on her face, I thought about how much pretending she had already done in order to keep the realities of our world a secret.

She constantly lied to Charlie, if not outright, then by omission. She played the part as if she were planning on attending college rather than joining my family in eternity. Now, she was about to walk into what should have been a celebration, but instead would amount to an evening of pretending she wasn't fearing for her life yet again. I wanted to be happy, to help her end this chapter of her life with joy and acceptance, but instead, I was plagued with guilt as I stared at her expression. She was straining to put on the mask of normalcy the way we'd all learned to over the years. She wasn't even one of us yet, and she already felt the weight of our secrets.

"Bella?" I whispered, coming up behind her and wrapping my arms around her. She hadn't said a word before my lips were on hers. I was frantic, desperately trying to grant her one moment of happiness, one promise that not everything in our world was a lie.

She looked startled when I pulled away, and I was about to kiss her again when she muttered, "Let's get this stupid party over with."

I held her face in my hands, not letting her break my gaze. "I won't let anything happen to you," I promised. She smiled, reaching up to touch my lips, and I felt that familiar spark of electricity her skin had always given me.

"I'm not worried about myself so much," she said softly.

"Why am I not surprised by that?" She scowled at me slightly, and I took a deep breath, knowing our quiet moment was at an end. It was time for both of us to put on our best fake smiles. Together, we would get through this evening and then, we could focus of what was to come next. "Ready to celebrate?"

She groaned, and I pulled her close, knowing she wasn't going to be happy with the scene Alice had set. If Bella was hoping for _subtle, _or anything resembling a normal graduation party for that matter, she was about to be very disappointed. While the rest of us still saw the advantages of keeping up appearances, Alice's attitude was that it didn't particularly matter anymore if we blended in, since high school was over and Bella was about to disappear forever.

"Unbelievable," Bella said when she walked through the door. I'd lived in this house for years, and it was barely recognizable.

"Alice will be Alice," I sighed.

Having decorated every visible surface of the house, Alice was busying herself by thumbing through a variety of music. _Wouldn't hurt to bring a little bit of culture to this town. Maybe some of it will stick, leave my mark after we leave..._

"Edward!" she called, her eyes wildly excited at the prospect of playing a more eclectic mix of music than Bella's friends were used to. I rolled my eyes. "I need your advice. Should we give them familiar and comforting? Or educate their taste in music?"

"Keep it comforting," I told her. "You can only lead the horse to water." Disappointed, she nodded, but I could hear there were a few favorite she was still planning on adding to the mix. I looked at Bella who was watching Alice with a look I recognized. It was a look that said, _This is too much. I don't deserve this. _

"I think I'm underdressed," she muttered. I certainly hoped her self-esteem issues would be resolved when she was a vampire. She was a vision in the blue outfit Alice had given her.

"You're perfect."

"You'll do," Alice added, and I shot her a warning glare.

"Thanks," Bella sighed, then asked, "Do you really think people will come?"

I knew she wished the whole town would suddenly have better things to do, but Alice had already seen them all deciding this party would be a fun way to end the exciting day, and I'd heard the curiosity in their minds.

"Everyone will come," I told her, her heartbeat speeding up slightly. "They're all dying to see the inside of the reclusive Cullens' mystery house."

"Fabulous," she groaned.

She reluctantly asked Alice if there was anything she could do to help, but of course, Alice was in her own little world. "No, no, you two just finish getting ready," she said. Then she took off, somehow managing to find even more unnecessary decorations. She was quietly hoping Bella would put on makeup, or do something different with her hair. I held Bella tightly, hoping she believed me when I assured her that nothing would make her more beautiful in my eyes than she already was.

Bella stayed by my side while I spoke with Jasper about the new developments in our situation. He sent her a gentle wave of calm, for which I was grateful, as we discussed the reality of our having no extra help.

"Tanya's just being spiteful," I said, shaking my head. "Don't suppose with a little influence on your part, they might reconsider?" I asked Jasper.

_Not unless we let them take out the wolves,_ he thought silently, not wanting to upset Bella. "No amount of mood control is going to make Irina feel better if she was really as attached to Laurent as Tanya says. My abilities aren't powerful enough to have any noticeable effect when the emotions are that strong." He tried to hide it, but he couldn't help but think of the time right after I'd fled Forks, leaving Bella behind. He had tried to console me, make me feel more at peace with my decision, but it was as if his powers were blocked by the intensity with which I was longing for her.

"I wish there was something I could do, believe me," he said, glancing toward the door. Alice was downstairs, singing to herself as she continued the party setup. He paused to listen for a moment, and I heard true fear in his mind. I looked to Bella, who was watching him with sadness in her eyes. Even without hearing his thoughts, she understood what he was thinking. Any one of us could falter and lose everything in an instant.

When Jasper and I could think of no other choices than to fight alone, I turned to Carlisle. He was admittedly more positive than Jasper had been, though he too was frantically searching for options we might have missed. We discussed our plan of attack, and I wished Jasper had come downstairs with us, to keep Bella's fear from escalating. She listened quietly, and I tried not to see the panic on her face. Her expression grew calculating as we continued, like she was working out strategies the way we were. I hoped she wasn't still expecting a quick change in order to come fight beside us. I thought we'd made it clear that adding another newborn to the mix wouldn't solve anything.

Living in an endless existence, the concept of time had nearly lost its meaning, which was why I was surprised to find myself pacing, waiting for guests to arrive. I suppose I was simply anxious for some excuse to forget about newborns, and strategies, and Bella being in danger yet again because of me. I actually breathed a sigh of relief when the first car pulled up, though my peaceful moment didn't last long. I listened to Mike's first appraisal of our home. Though not the most intuitive person at times, he seemed too observant for my liking.

_A mansion in the middle of the forest? Weird, even for the Cullens. _He met my eye for a split second before turning away nervously. _Always figured they were freaks, but what are they hiding out here?_

Bella played her part better than I could have imagined, and while I was miserable at the thought of her only pretending to enjoy her graduation night, a part of me couldn't help but feel proud of her. She welcomed all of her friends in, smiling and attempting to make them feel comfortable, as they all took in the house.

One by one, people stepped through the door, wide-eyed and curious, and I listened with amusement at the different reactions. Thankfully, Mike was the only one who associated "large mansion" with "something to hide," though several of Bella's classmates did wonder how a family with such an obvious sum of money ended up in a place like Forks.

_Don't know why Dr. Cullen didn't just home-school them all. Not like they get along with anyone anyway._

_ Some place to call a home away from home. No wonder Bella puts up with Edward's crazy... _

_ Must be worth more than the whole town put together..._

_ Wow. Just wow._

Although I couldn't bring myself to leave Bella's side, I tried my best to stay in the background. I let her lead the conversations. After all, for many of her friends, this would likely be her only good-bye. Occasionally, Mike or Tyler or some other insipid boy would let their mind wander to the _what-ifs _of post-graduation life.

_Are they going to college together? Maybe the fascination will wear off and she'll come to her senses. _

_ Can't last forever. I mean, look at him clinging to her. That's got to get old eventually, right?_

I felt my grip around Bella's waist tighten instinctively, and was thrilled when I felt her sink further into my arms. I was counting on this lasting forever, and I hoped that when _forever _became more than just a concept to her, she would still be happy to have my arms around her forever.

I was just settling into the pace of the evening, Bella making small talk with her friends, circulating as if she were born to be the hostess and center of attention. She almost had even me convinced that there was nothing else going on in our lives besides this party. For a moment, there was no one after us, this wasn't Bella's farewell to her human life. We were just a couple in love, celebrating the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next.

Then, everything froze.

The vision Alice had was so clear, I could see it as if it were my own. As soon as I saw the hoard of newborns heading toward Forks, I felt my fists begin to clench. Afraid I would hurt Bella, I forced myself to loosen my grip on her. One at the front of the line was holding Bella's shirt, a sadistic and very determined look in her blood-red eyes.

_Edward..._ Alice thought, my name a whisper, even in her mind. She was scared, truly frightened for the first time since this whole mess had started. Jasper was beside her now, trying to calm her down, but all she could feel was the army's collective energy, their driving ambition to reach the human they knew they were created to destroy.

She watched as they ran toward Forks – the place we'd called home for so many years, filled with people we cared about, Bella's friends and family, who could all become casualties. Victims... pawns in the way and easily knocked down as the battle began.

"Stay here," I whispered to Bella, trying to hide the fear in my voice. "I'll be right back."

I could hear her start after me, but there were friends all around and I'm sure she didn't want them to think anything was wrong. Her facade of normalcy might buy me enough time to talk to Alice without her there. It would be easier to get all the facts without having to worry about scaring Bella.

Alice was standing just outside the kitchen, her eyes wide with a panic hopefully only I noticed. It took every ounce of restraint I had to walk to her at a normal pace, but I forced a smile onto my face and walked casually in case anyone was looking.

"They're coming," Alice whispered as soon as I was beside her. I tried to motion her into the kitchen so we could speak more privately, but she was frozen in place.

"I know," I said softly, when she didn't move. I attempted to infuse some comfort into my tone.

"I couldn't tell how many..." she said dismally. Her eyes were nearly blurred as she tried to count the numbers she'd seen in her mind. Twenty. Maybe more.

"We knew this was what it was going to look like. This is what we've been waiting for you to see. There's no need to panic."

Her eyes shot at me through the darkness. _Who are you trying to convince – me or yourself?_

"All right, I'm worried. Of course I am. I don't want them anywhere near Forks, or Bella, or anyone here for that matter. But it's good we've seen them coming. We can prepare and take action."

"Did you see what the dark haired one in front was carrying?"

I'd seen and recognized Bella's missing shirt all too well. If there was any doubt in my mind that Bella's theories had been correct, that single flash of red confirmed it all. "I saw it," I growled, then took a deep breath and reminded myself how important it was to stay calm. "We already knew what they were coming for. Again, no surprises. Just precisely what we've been waiting for."

At that moment, Alice's eyes went blank again. She gasped, clutching the wall beside her as she saw several of the vampires coming at the town from the other side. It suggested a level of coordination and planning we hadn't thought them capable of. The newborns themselves _couldn't _be, but it meant their creator had thought their plan of attack through far more than we'd anticipated.

"I'll go get Carlisle," I said, disappearing before my last bit of composure was gone.

I was glad I'd made a quick escape, because seconds later, Bella was at Alice's side, demanding an explanation. Alice, still frozen and trying desperately to search her visions for anything that might give us some kind of advantage, didn't say a word. She stared at me, and despite myself, I couldn't seem to break her gaze. Her eyes were pleading, silently asking for answers I didn't have. When Bella turned to look for me, I retreated back into the darkness.

I knocked on the door of Carlisle's study, and he opened it immediately. "Edward, what's happening? Jasper was just up here trying to escape from all the heightened emotions for a few minutes, then his eyes widened, and he disappeared."

"He felt Alice's fear. Probably mine as well."

"She saw something?"

"They're coming."

He inhaled sharply, a brief moment of panic flickering across his face before he returned to his usual calm, pragmatic way of thinking.

"Was she able to see who was responsible for creating the army?"

"I don't think so. She did see that they were planning to surround the town, though. They want to come in from both sides."

"So they're organized?"

"It would appear so."

Carlisle's expression was calculating as he thought through several options. The only one that guaranteed no human casualties, however, was meeting them before they entered town.

I nodded in understanding before he'd said a word. "The further away the better," I agreed.

"How many?" he asked, unable to hide the sorrow he felt as he pictured destroying the newborns who hadn't wanted this life to begin with.

"Too many," I admitted. "More than we want to face without help. Twenty, at least, although it appeared there were less by the time they reached town than there were when they were traveling."

"How is that possible?"

"They're destructive, Carlisle. It's very possible they're killing each other along the way. Either that, or whoever created them is thinning out the herds, so to speak. It's a sick kind of combat strategy. If one of them isn't proving to be useful, or is threatening the success of the mission, they're disposed of. It wouldn't be the first time we've heard of it happening."

I hated to be so blunt, knowing how it pained him, but we all needed to be realistic about what we were up against. These were creatures whose only purpose was to kill. If their creator killed without mercy, they would know nothing else, and they would show no mercy.

Both in agreement that we had to fight as far away from Forks as possible, we both fell silent, trying to think of the location that gave us the greatest advantage. We knew the forests well, and there were several places that offered a fair amount of camouflage, but if the newborns were on a course for Forks, how could we steer them off their path? Even if we chose the ideal location for the battle, how would we assure their arrival there?

"The wolves are here," Alice muttered, throwing the door open angrily and bringing us both back to the present. She was scowling as stepped into the room. "Can somebodyplease get them outside before they make the entire house smell like dog?"

"Whyare they here?" I asked, unable to hide my irritation. A visit from Jacob was the last thing I needed right now.

"I don't know. Bella invited them, I guess. Well, Jacob, at least, though I didn't really think she wanted anything to do with him after that stunt he pulled."

"When have Bella's wishes ever stopped Jacob from doing what he wanted?"

"I still don't understand why he's here. He didn't go to Forks High, he doesn't know anyone but us, and he hates us. The last time he saw Bella, she punched him in the face. The kid really doesn't know when to give up, does he?"

As much as I was enjoying listening to someone else complain about Jacob, I was only half listening to Alice. My attention was focused on the conversation downstairs between Bella and the mongrel. He was pressing her for information, and I had a feeling he was about to cross the line.

"Now. Explain," he snapped. That was all it took. I raced out the door and down the stairs.

"Jacob, I don't know everything," she said nervously, her eyes looking around her. Looking for me.

_Is that wise? _Alice asked, stopping me just before I raced into the crowd.

"Do I care?"

_I don't really care what you do, but everyone keeps telling me we're still supposed to be acting normal. You flying across the room in a blur and decapitating a werewolf in front of all Bella's friends probably wouldn't be considered normal._

"He raised his voice to her, Alice."

_I know. But there are people around. What exactly are you planning on doing?_

A medley of things I'd _like _to do played through my mind, but of course, she was right. There was nothing I could do, nothing really I should even say, with so many of Bella's friends nearby. They were suspicious enough as it was.

_Go back to Carlisle, keep working on a strategy. We need to figure out our plan of action, quickly. Jasper and I will take care of Bella. _

I'd been so focused on Bella, I hadn't even noticed Jasper was right beside me.

_I'll mellow them out, _he thought with a smirk. _Whether they like it or not._

Reluctantly, I retreated up the stairs, just as Bella spotted Alice.

"Alice!" she breathed.

_I don't like the way those filthy dogs are watching her, _she thought, seething. _This is _our _house, Bella is a part of _our _family. What right do they think they have to even be here?_

For my own sanity, I tried to ignore Alice's assessment of the pack, and returned to Carlisle's study. "Now what's happened?" he asked, confused by my quick escape.

"Jacob was pressing Bella for information. I didn't like it."

"But you didn't stop him?"

"Alice didn't think it would be wise for me to step in quite yet."

He nodded. "Why are they here? I thought Jacob and Bella weren't on the best of terms."

"Technically, Jacob was invited. The fact that she no longer wants him here is something he seems to be ignoring rather stubbornly. As for the others, I think they're friends of Bella's from back when she was spending a lot of time in La Push. They probably thought it would be interesting to be in vampire territory when there really wasn't anything we could do to stop them. They know we would never make a scene."

Carlisle closed his eyes, and we both paused to listen for a moment.

"Hey, hey. This is a party, remember?" Bella was saying. She was trying to be playful, but there was a definite edge to her voice.

"Always the peacekeeper," Carlisle remarked, smiling. There was a swell of pride and affection in his voice. "She never ceases to amaze me. You've chosen your mate well, Edward."

"Thank you. I only hope she still feels _she's_ chosen well when she realizes what kind of life she's bound herself to."

"I think she understands better than you give her credit for. We've all been very upfront with her about what life will be like. I believe she's ready." He paused, and I could tell he was struggling to keep his thoughts hidden."

"Carlisle?" I hedged.

"There's something I've been thinking about, given our current circumstances. I know you won't like it, and probably won't agree to it, but I'd be remiss if I didn't at least ask. Now that we know the newborns are on their way, and we know with certainty that they are coming for Bella, I'd like you to consider..."

I didn't need to hear his thoughts to know what he was suggesting. "No," I said firmly.

"I don't mean for her to fight along side us – "

"No."

"Only that if she were changed she wouldn't be in nearly as much danger."

"No. I've already sworn to protect her. I will _not _have Bella making this choice because she's frightened."

"She's already made her choice."

"It's out of the question."

_Edward. _Carlisle knew me well. He knew when I was putting up walls, when I was stubbornly clinging to Bella's humanity even when she'd cast it aside. He paused until he was certain he had my full attention again.

"I need you to think of the family for a moment. And remember, Bella's already made her choice. The only thing that would change is the timing. I want you to consider that whoever is responsible for this army, whoever is coming after Bella, is coming after a fragile, easily destroyed human. If that were no longer the case, there's a very real chance we could stop this fight from even happening."

"Do you still think it's a member of the Volturi?"

"I don't know. If it is, then certainly Bella being changed would end the conflict. Even if it's not one of them, I think we can still safely assume that her not being human anymore would change things."

"You're asking her to sacrifice – "

"No," he said, taking his turn at interrupting. "I'm asking nothing more of her than that which she's made explicitly clear is what she wants."

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to calm the flare of frustration and anxiety. I was also trying to silence the little voice inside my head telling me that Carlisle was right.

_Why is this so difficult for you? I thought you'd already accepted her change as inevitable._

"It's not that," I said, not realizing what I was admitting until it was too late.

"You're still counting on her accepting your proposal and changing her yourself." It wasn't a question, and I couldn't have denied it if it was. "You could still be the one to change her."

"Carlisle – "

"I know this isn't how you wanted it. But things have changed. There's more to consider now, more of us involved than just the two of you."

"Wait," I said, suddenly racing out the door, leaving Carlisle baffled and alone yet again.

"Everything just disappeared, of course," Alice was saying. "That's inconvenient, but, all things considered, I'll take it."

"We'll have to coordinate," Jacob told her. "It won't be easy for us. Still, this is our job more than yours."

"Amazing," I whispered as Carlisle stepped up beside me.

"What is it?"

"It's the wolves. They want to help."

Carlisle's eyes widened in understanding. "They want to fight with us?"

"It appears so."

_ In all my years, I never would have imagined..._

Both of us stunned into silence, we listened as Alice and Jacob had the first civil conversation either one of us had ever heard. Bella, on the other hand, was less than thrilled.

"You _are _staying out of this!" she shrieked. "Alice – tell them no! They'll get killed."

The wolves laughed.

"Well, that's impolite," Carlisle muttered.

"I'm afraid you'll have to get used to that. I have to admit, though, the wolves' lack of tact and understanding of social conventions is a small price to pay. I can't believe they're willing to fight alongside their enemies."

"Desperate times often bring out the best in even the most unruly creatures. Their land and their people would be threatened as well, should we be unsuccessful in stopping this army. They'll fight with their enemies to conquer an even bigger threat."

"No!" Bella shouted, nearly in tears. Several heads turned toward her, noticing her distress for the first time.

"Go to her, Edward. She's no longer aware of her surroundings. Remind her that until the last guest leaves, we are to keep up appearances."

I headed downstairs, forcing myself to keep a human pace, and fixed a smile on my face.

_Well, look who decided to join the party_, Jacob thought, glowering at me. _Ready for the fight, bloodsucker? I can't believe you were going to leave us out. This is our one chance to finally treat at least _some _vampires the way they're supposed to be treated. _

Doing my best to keep the smile on my face, I wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and kissed the top of her head gently. I had to remember that, as difficult as it might be joining forces with Jacob, we were both fighting to protect Bella. If it meant she was safe – and could remain human until she was completely ready – I could endure anything.


	16. Instruction

Hi again, ooohhhhh how I've missed you! I know it's been awhile, but the good news is... no one is going to be able to tell me this chapter is too short! Wowzers, this is like... the chapter that ate another chapter. It's a good solid twice as long as my average, and I don't know what to say other than... Edward made me do it! :)

Thanks again to shasta53 for your super powers of beta!

**Instruction - EPOV**

It's amazing how quickly everything can change. Before the party, my family and I had been anxiously waiting for Alice's vision. When she'd finally seen the newborns approaching, we'd all found ourselves in a panic. Nervous, uncertain, and wondering whether we would all make it through the battle alive. Then, of course, there was Bella, who'd somehow managed to stay relatively calm throughout the evening. That is, until the wolves decided to join in the fight.

Now, my family and I were all feeling the relief of knowing we weren't facing the army alone. For the first time since realizing what we were up against, we felt evenly matched, perhaps even having the upper hand. Bella, however, was inconsolable. I forced myself not to dwell on that fact. I was having a difficult enough time as it was, trying not to tear Jacob limb from limb.

Bella begged and pleaded with them to stay out of the fight, and Jacob was enjoying every minute of it. "Wait, Jake!" she shouted as the pack turned to leave. "_Please!_ Don't do this!"

I sighed. My arm was around Bella's waist, my fingers running lightly through her hair. She hadn't even acknowledged my presence.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bells," Jacob told her, still laughing at her fears. "You're giving me a much better gift than the one I gave you."

"No!" she yelled again, her eyes brimming with tears.

_And you, _he added, glancing at me for a split second before returning his eyes to Bella. _Thought you were going to be the hero again, right? No wonder you didn't tell us about these new bloodsuckers. You wanted the glory all to yourself. _

A low snarl, hopefully too quiet for Bella to hear, ripped through my throat. All it did was make him smile even wider.

_Now, now. Don't forget your manners. This is still a party, after all._

My eyes widened and I felt Jasper at my side.

_Relax, Edward. He's not worth it._

I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the waves of calm he was sending directly to me.

_Hmmm, _Jacob thought, his eyes still fixed on Bella. _Who do you think she's going to worry about more? Suppose it's not really even a question. She was all ready to watch you run off and fight, but look at her now, _begging _me to stay._

I was glad, in that moment, that Bella wasn't paying me any attention, because all of my pretenses fell away. I glared at him, eyes full of anger and fire. I hated that I was unsure whether I was more furious at Jacob for his taunting, or at myself for wondering if what he was saying was true.

_This is going to be some fight, _he added with a smirk. Then he ran off to join the rest of his mangy companions, and I was left to console Bella. _My _Bella. Who seemed far more worried about his safety than I was prepared for. Wasn't she ready to let me kill him less than an hour ago?

"Bella, my love," I whispered, nuzzling into her hair. "I know you're upset, but people are starting to notice the commotion."

She shut her eyes tightly, taking in three deep, steady breaths. "You're right," she finally sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I'm sorry you're unhappy. I only wish there was something I could do to fix it."

"Tell them not to fight," she said, burying her head in my shoulder. I gritted my teeth, wishing there was some way to silence the jealousy I felt at her concern for that dog. Then, like always, she found a way to give me exactly what I needed. "Don't you fight either," she added. "None of you fight. Let's just leave."

All of my loathsome feelings of anger and jealousy faded away, and I actually caught myself laughing. "Now, why didn't I think of that?" I teased.

"Don't joke," she snapped, and despite myself, I laughed again at her indignation.

"I'm sorry. That was very insensitive of me. I just wish it was that simple. If running away would do us any good, I would whisk you away the moment this ridiculous party is over."

"Who says you have to wait til the party's over?" she asked, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips.

I pulled her tightly into my arms. "No one is going to get hurt, Bella. We're going to end this war before it begins, now that we have so much help. Before, it was – " I paused, not wanting to upset her, but needing her to understand the necessity of us accepting the wolves' help, "uncertain. The only downside to their being involved is that it means Alice's sight is gone. Really, though, there was so much she couldn't see anyway, because of the nature of newborns, we aren't losing anything. We have only to benefit from this alliance, as unconventional as it might be."

Her brow pulled together as if she were concentrating very hard on what I'd said, weighing the pros and cons. Eventually, she must have come to some sort of acceptance, though I doubted she would ever be as happy about the decision as the rest of us were.

"No one is going to get hurt?" she repeated.

"It'll be over so fast, you won't have to time to worry about any of us."

Maybe it was selfish, or foolish, or perhaps a bit of both, but I was hoping she would argue with me. A very juvenile side of me wanted to hear her say, "Of course I'm going to worry about you!" Instead, she simply rolled her eyes at me, and rejoined the party.

As she drifted back into the crowd, I followed after her closely, surprised by how quickly the charade resumed. If I didn't know her better, I would have thought she loved playing the hostess. Alice was thrilled that the party lasted for several more hours, though I would have preferred to have Bella to myself for awhile before meeting with the wolves. I was thrilled to have their help, but it was still going to be a difficult night.

When the last of Bella's friends had finally left, we all gathered around the door. Every thought was now focused on our upcoming training session - every mind except Alice's. I wasn't surprised to hear her basking in post-party bliss.

"Well, all things considered, I think that went well," she said. "Everyone had fun, I could tell they were all positively _entranced _by the décor." As I listened to her chatter on about the success of the party, as cheerful as ever, I realized that she wasn't the only one filled with euphoria. Every member of my family was smiling.

It was a welcome relief, after the weeks we'd spent worrying. Knowing we were no longer fighting alone had brightened everyone's spirits. Still, as the minutes ticked by, I began to feel the weight of evening heavy on my shoulders. The thought of having the wolves observe our training session had me feeling quite unsettled. The rest of my family didn't seem to mind the idea, but they also weren't the ones who would have to play the role of translator. While Jacob was beside himself with excitement, I'd heard the distrust in his friends' minds. There was no way they were joining us tonight in their human forms.

As Alice continued praising her party, the rest of us remained quiet, thinking about the upcoming events. Eventually, Emmett broke the silence, making Bella jump beside me.

"All right. The humans are gone, present company excluded," he added, grinning at Bella. "Time to get the _real_ party started!"

We all breathed a collective sigh, not quite as enthused as Emmett seemed to be, though I was relieved the tension seemed to lift.

"Emmett is right," Carlisle said, smiling. He was genuinely calm for the first time in weeks. "We should begin our preparations."

"What's to prepare?" Emmett asked. "Jasper knows how to kill these new guys. He'll teach us everything he knows, and those idiot dogs are gonna sit there and watch, pretending they aren't scared to death of us. Like I said, sounds like a party to me."

"I wish you wouldn't act like this is all some big game," Bella said, and everyone turned to stare at her. She blushed, her eyes widening like she was surprised she'd said the words out loud. "I'm sorry," she added in a whisper. "I just don't know why you're making jokes when people could really get hurt."

_People... _

I smiled as every mind in the room thought the word at the same time. My Bella, still thinking of all her monsters as nothing more than regular people.

"Bella," Carlisle said gently. "I assure you we will all be very well prepared. This alliance has made us strong, and our training is merely a precaution. It's important to gain the greatest possible advantage, though I feel certain that with our numbers the way they now stand, we could go into this fight tonight without any preparations at all, and still be victorious."

"I wish I was as confident as you."

_Have you considered letting her accompany us tonight? _Carlisle asked me, and I shook my head infinitesimally. _It might actually be good for her. She should see why our tactics, and our powers, give us such an advantage._

"Silly Bella," Alice said, thankfully interrupting Carlisle's and my silent conversation. "I know I can't see past those stupid hairball friends of yours, but there's really nothing to worry about." She shot Jasper a meaningful look, and he turned to Bella, concentrating every ounce of calm he could muster in her direction. I saw her posture relax for a moment, before her mind took over again.

"I just don't understand why nobody seems at all worried anymore. You're really putting that much faith in the wolves? I thought you guys were mortal enemies. Now you want to fight with them?"

"Oh, come on, Bella," Emmett laughed. "Why should you be the only one getting to fight with werewolves? It's our turn now!"

She scowled at him, and I had to stop myself from laughing.

"Don't you worry about a thing, dear," Esme said, kissing her forehead in a very motherly gesture that made my heart soar. I loved to see how deeply Esme cared for Bella. "Everything will be perfectly fine, and this mess will all be over before you know it." _Then, we can finally get back to the happy task of welcoming you officially into the family, _she added, with an almost imperceptible wink in my direction.

"Edward," Carlisle said. "We don't have much time, and you need to get Bella home. We don't want Charlie worrying about her."

Alice smiled angelically, her thoughts drifting conveniently back to the party. She was keeping something from me, and at that moment, I didn't have time to worry about what it was.

"Carlisle's right," I said. "It's late, and I'm sure Bella is exhausted." Bella let out what sounded like an aggravated sigh, and her posture tensed. I didn't think my comment had been insulting, but she looked like she was upset.

As we walked out the door, my family continued to offer her reassurances that everything would go smoothly, but Bella's anxiety never dissipated. She was silent when I opened the car door for her, and didn't give me even the smallest of smiles when I reached out to her in the car. I stroked the back of her hand soothingly, trying to coax something out of her. It was once again driving me mad that I couldn't hear where her thoughts had taken her. Was her worried mind thinking of me, my family – Jacob?

"That had to be the longest party in the history of the world," she finally mumbled.

"It's over now," I said softly, my fingers now tracing up her arm. I hoped the evening had worn her out enough to help her get a restful night's sleep, even without me there to hum her lullaby. I didn't know how long we would be out tonight, but it seemed safe to assume I wouldn't be back before dawn. This would be the first night we'd spent apart in a very long time.

"You're taking me with you tonight," she finally said, her voice low, trying to find her confidence.

"Bella, you're worn out." I wasn't surprised she would suggest coming with us, but I also didn't expect her to push the issue very far. Her eyes were half closed.

"You think I could sleep?"

My lips pressed together in a tight line. Of course she could sleep, if she'd let herself relax for a moment. Instead, she was trying to find reasons to join the very unconventional assembly of vampires and werewolves, putting herself right in the middle of harm's way, should tempers escalate. I didn't want her there, in the midst of the unknown. I hoped things would remain peaceful, but it was quite possible the wolves would get angry when they saw first-hand what we were capable of. Some of them might attack out of frustration or instinct.

I usually found her stubbornness endearing, but I really didn't have time to rationalize with her. Which meant she was probably going to get her way.

"This is an experiment," I explained. "I'm not sure if it will be possible for us all to... cooperate. I don't want you in the middle of that." The moment I'd said it, I realized my mistake. I was, once again, trying to look out for her safety – something she placed virtually no value on – but all I did was make her more fearful that one of us would get hurt.

"If you won't take me, then I'll call Jacob." Her voice was flat, her face expressionless, though she must have known what her words would do to me. My grip tightened on the wheel as I realized I was powerless. Jacob would give her whatever she asked for, take her anywhere she wanted to go, no matter how dangerous. It wasn't that I thought he didn't care about her, but rather that he was arrogant enough to believe nothing could harm her while he was around.

I pulled into Bella's driveway without saying a word. We both knew she'd won.

"See you upstairs," she said, her eyes not quite meeting mine.

I watched until she was inside, then went to wait for her upstairs. I couldn't help but laugh, listening to her drag Charlie to bed. Then, she moved quickly onto her nightly routine. It always amazed me how those brief moments without her, when I knew she was in the room right next to me, dragged on, and how when she finally joined me in her room, everything in my world felt right again.

She always looked at me with the oddest mixture of relief and elation, like she still couldn't believe I was sitting in her rocking chair waiting for her, though I'd been here every night since we'd returned home from Italy. I opened my arms, hoping she would join me. She was tired enough that I might be able to rock her to sleep.

"Come here," she said, smiling and pulling me toward the bed instead. Her hands pressed against my chest, and before I knew it, she was curled up in my arms, sighing. I wrapped her quilt around her to warm her up, wishing she would simply drift off to sleep. The moment her breathing started to slow, though, I felt her tense again. I hated that she was fighting so hard to stay awake when there was nothing to be accomplished by her coming with us. She was looking for reassurance that no one was in any danger, but watching us train wouldn't truly give her that. She would just have to trust us.

"Please relax," I said softly, stroking her hair.

"Sure."

"This is going to work, Bella. I can feel it."

I could feel the frustration and doubt emanating from her, and I struggled for words that could help put her mind at ease.

"Listen to me, Bella," I pleaded. "This is going to be _easy._ The newborns will be completely taken by surprise. They'll have no more idea that werewolves even exist than you did. I've seen how they act in a group, the way Jasper remembers. I truly believe that the wolves' hunting techniques will work flawlessly against them. And with them divided and confused, there won't be enough for the rest of us to do. Someone may have to sit out."

"Piece of cake," she muttered sarcastically.

"Shhh," I breathed, my fingers brushing against her cheek, wishing I could take her fears away. "You'll see. Don't worry now."

I hummed her lullaby, but her posture told me she was determined not to fall asleep. Her head was pressed to my chest, but there was too much tension in her shoulders. I really was fighting a losing battle. Determined to get to the field before the wolves, and knowing we were running out of time, I gently pushed Bella up until she was sitting beside me.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay and sleep?" I asked uselessly. When she scowled at me, I sighed, defeated, and carried her out the window. With the world rushing by us as we ran, it was easy to forget that we were running toward something so important. I was so focused on the way Bella's arms wrapped around me, how she was so much more at ease than she used to be, flying through the forest with me, I nearly forgot my worries from earlier.

When we reached the clearing, I heard Emmett laughing as Jasper and Alice chased each other around. Alice looked like a pouncing kitten, and, although I knew Jasper was fast enough to outrun her, it was clear he was having more fun being caught. I smiled at Bella as I set her down, happy for the first time that she was with us. Maybe the lighthearted atmosphere was all she would need to stop worrying about everything. She didn't smile back at me, and I noticed her eyes weren't focused on anything. She was lost in thought, and of course, I was left completely baffled.

"You know what I think?" she asked. I couldn't stop a laugh from escaping.

"No," I teased. "What do you think?" I expected her to laugh with me, but she continued almost tonelessly, like she was having trouble wrapping her own mind around whatever she was thinking.

"I think it's _all _connected. Not just the two, but all three."

"You've lost me."

"Three bad things have happened since you came back. The newborns in Seattle. The stranger in my room. And – first of all – Victoria came to look for me."

My fists clenched at hearing Victoria's name. It bothered me, how confident Bella was that it had been her. I hadn't been very good at tracking Victoria, but the idea that she had been right here, under all our noses, without us knowing was horrifying to me.

"Why do you think so?" I asked.

"Because I agree with Jasper – the Volturi love their rules. They would probably do a better job anyway. Remember when you were tracking Victoria last year?"

"Yes." I couldn't keep the pain out of my expression. Somehow, Bella managed to talk about my time away without so much as flinching. Every time I thought about it, it caused me physical pain. "I wasn't very good at it," I admitted, hoping she wouldn't press the subject any further. There had been times I was tracking her where I found myself hoping she would find me first, and put me out of my misery.

"Alice said you were in Texas. Did you follow her there?"

"Yes. Hmm..." Bella was putting pieces together in ways my family and I hadn't even considered. Had Victoria been inspired by the gruesome history in Texas and decided to try her hand at army-making? It was sick and terrible to consider, but I had a feeling we'd never really gotten a true idea of what Victoria was capable of.

"See," Bella continued, her voice strangely excited as she realized she might be onto something, "she could have gotten the idea there. But she doesn't know what she's doing, so the newborns are all out of control."

It still didn't explain how one of them was able to get into Bella's room without Alice seeing. "Only Aro knows exactly how Alice's visions work."

"Aro would know _best,_ but wouldn't Tanya and Irina and the rest of your friends in Denali know _enough_? Laurent lived with them for so long. And if he was still friendly enough with Victoria to be doing favors for her, why wouldn't he also tell her everything he knew?"

Anxiety was starting to take over my senses as I contemplated _her _being in Bella's room, but I quickly reminded myself that, no matter how horrid a tracker I was, I would have known if she'd been there. "It wasn't Victoria in your room," I promised her.

"She can't make new friends? Think about it, Edward. If it _is _Victoria doing this in Seattle, she's _made_ a lot of new friends. She's created them."

I didn't want her to be right. I didn't want to think Victoria had been that close, that if she'd wanted to kill Bella that night, she could have sent someone to do it without any of us knowing. My brothers often teased me about my unwillingness to leave Bella's side for even a short time. This was why. Every moment of every day, I was completely, _painfully, _aware of how easily I could lose her.

Emmett and Jasper had never had to worry about losing Rose or Alice. The concept of eternity with their perfect partners was a given - an irrefutable fact. Going into this fight, especially before we'd gained the help of the wolves, was probably the first time either of them had had to consider what their existence would be like if they were forced to continue it alone. It was a fear I lived with constantly.

"Hmm. It's possible," I finally said when I noticed Bella staring up at me expectantly. "I still think the Volturi are most likely... But your theory – there's something there. Victoria's personality. Your theory suits her personality perfectly."

It made sense that she would use others to get what she wants. Anything to keep herself out of harm's way. It was something I'd understood about her a long time ago, back when she'd sent Laurent to Forks, supposedly to check whether or not Bella was still protected. She must have known that if he'd found her, he would kill her. Her blood, though not as potent to others as it was to me, still would have been too much for him to resist. It was clear she wanted results without having to put herself in any danger, though before Bella's theory, I hadn't thought even Victoria would go to such extreme lengths as to create an army to do her dirty work.

"She's shown a remarkable gift for self-preservation from the start," I said, "maybe it's a talent of hers. In any case, this plot would put her in no danger at all from us, if she sits safely behind and lets the newborns wreak their havoc here. And maybe little danger from the Volturi, either. Perhaps she's counting on us to win, in the end, though certainly not without heavy casualties of our own. But no survivors from her little army to bear witness against her. In fact, if there were survivors, I'd bet she's be planning to destroy them herself... Hmm."

The only mystery that remained, if the pieces really did connect the way they were appearing to, was who had been in Bella's room. "Still, she'd have to have at least one friend who was a bit more mature. No fresh-made newborn left your father alive..." I stopped myself when I heard the way Bella's breath caught, angry at myself for upsetting her. I smiled, quickly changing the subject.

"Definitely possible. Regardless, we've got to be prepared for anything until we know for sure." I grinned, quite proud of Bella, even if I didn't like the answer she's come up with. "You're very perceptive today. It's impressive."

"Maybe I'm just reacting to this place," she said, suddenly second guessing herself. She looked around warily, and when she continued, her voice was shaking. "It makes me feel like she's close by... like she sees me now."

Every muscle in my body tensed at the idea. "She'll never touch you, Bella," I promised, instinctively searching the shadows for signs of any uninvited guests. It was unsettling, having to question whether we were alone. There was a time when I thought our family was almost impenetrable. Between Alice seeing the moment anyone decided to come near us, and me hearing them when they were close enough to worry about, it seemed we were invincible. Even Jasper tasting a change in the atmosphere was helpful for keeping out those who wanted to harm us. Not this time, though. Whoever was in Bella's room had found a way around all of us, and for that, I would have given anything to end this nightmare here and now.

"Yet, what I wouldn't give to have her that close," I breathed, more to myself than Bella. "Victoria, and anyone else who's ever thought of hurting you. To have the chance to end this myself. To finish it with my own hands this time."

I felt Bella's grip tighten, her fingers locking with mine, and I pulled her close as we closed the small gap between us and my family. Jasper's playfulness had vanished and was now getting ready, running drills in his head like he was a boot camp instructor. Esme and Carlisle were standing together, whispering reassurances and words of love to each other. Emmett was running laps around the field while Rosalie rolled her eyes and sighed. Alice was standing anxiously on her own, fidgeting, her eyes unfocused but searching.

_Well, at least we know they're not bailing on us, _she was thinking sourly. _Can't see anything. Completely frustrating. Stupid wolves are probably dragging their tails here right about now. Can't believe we agreed to this. _

"Is something wrong with Alice?" Bella asked. Yes, definitely perceptive tonight, I thought, laughing quietly.

"The werewolves are on their way, so she can't see anything that will happen now. It makes her uncomfortable to be blind."

_Like you never complain about not being able to hear Bella? Just imagine if _everyone _suddenly went silent on you. _Alice looked up, meeting my eyes, and stuck her tongue out at me. If I'd thought she was genuinely upset, I would have felt more sorry for her, but even though she was frustrated, I knew how grateful she was that we weren't fighting alone.

"Hey, Edward," Emmett said, casting a sideways glance at Bella. _There's just__ no leaving her behind, is there? So tell me, how does it feel having Bella make all your decisions for you? _Emmett absolutely loved taunting me when there was nothing I could say or do say about it. "Hey, Bella," he grinned. "Is he going to let you practice, too?"

"Please, Emmett, don't give her any ideas."

Carlisle appeared beside us looking relaxed, but I could hear a bit of concern playing around in his mind. He trusted the wolves, more so than the rest of us, but it was still hard for him to invite a group of unstable creatures to interact with his family – especially when the focus of our evening was fighting.

"When will our guests arrive?" he asked, a warm smile locked firmly on his face.

I closed my eyes and tried to focus. Listening to the wolves was like hearing an echo. One mind spoke, then the words resonated through the rest of the pack. It was a harmony of voices, yet each had their own distinct timbre. It was fascinating, and I was sure it was also a very useful form of communication. For me, though, it was positively deafening. As much as I disliked Jacob and didn't particularly enjoy hearing him or his juvenile complaints, I was the most familiar with his voice, and concentrating on him helped me to block the others out.

_Those bloodsuckers have no idea what we're capable of. We don't need _training _to kill a group of stinking vampires. We were _made _for this!_

I sighed. Jacob's arrogance knew no limits. "A minute and a half," I estimated. The closer they got, their voices grew even louder and more difficult to distinguish. It was going to be a long night. "But I'm going to have to translate," I added. "They don't trust us enough to use their human forms."

_I'd suspected as much. Is Bella comfortable being here with them in their true forms? _I shrugged my shoulders once and tried not to look surprised when he referred to their wolf bodies as their "true forms." It was interesting that Carlisle regarded them as wolves more than humans. Maybe that was part of his acceptance of them. When they were changed, he saw their true nature, the time when they were the most themselves, and considered their human lives the act they were forced to put on.

"This is hard for them," Carlisle continued, his voice gentle and compassionate. "I'm grateful they're coming at all."

"They're coming as wolves?" Bella asked, her eyes wide.

I nodded slowly, noting the way her breathing sped up slightly. Carlisle smiled. _I guess that answers my question. _For all of Bella's time hanging out with the wolves, I supposed she really hadn't spent much time with them when they weren't human. It made sense she would be nervous being around all of them at once.

The pack had almost arrived, and it was getting very difficult to ignore them. Their unspoken conversations had grown into an almost constant chatter that was enough to make anyone crazy. In a strange way, I found myself empathizing with them. I knew all too well how unpleasant it could be, not being able to silence the voices in your head.

I couldn't deny that the push and pull dynamic of their minds was intriguing, though. Their thoughts were shared, and there was definitely a collective spirit - a clear camaraderie - yet they were all still very much their own entities. Some of them remained mostly silent, while others were slightly more opinionated. I wondered if the distinction had anything to do with how long they'd been a part of the pack.

_Still can't believe we're helping them – whose bright idea was this again? – aw, guys, where's your fighting spirit – we finally get to rip some vampires apart – why are we watching them train? – how hard do they think this army is to kill? – __don't they know this is why we exist__!_

I took a deep breath in, struggling, concentrating, desperate to pick out each individual voice. At the very least, I needed to know Sam's, since we would be leading the pack, and would likely be the only voice I was meant to translate. The others were, to the rest of my family, silent observers.

_D__o they _all _have powers, or just the mind-__reader__ and the fortune-teller? – guys, this is _messed up_, what are we doing joining them in a training session__?__ – Quil's right, we were made for this – Jacob, this must be driving you nuts – how can you stand to watch her with him like that?_

Just like that, I knew they were close enough to see us. Three wolves stepped out of the shadows. They were staring at Bella, and even in their wolf forms, I could see the confusion – the utter _revulsion _– in their eyes.

_She doesn't even care, does she? – totally disgusting – can't she _smell _that?_

I rolled my eyes. Then, amid the stream of insults that followed, I heard something that caught me by surprise. Their numbers were greater than they'd previously wanted to admit.

_Are__ you sure about this? – do we really want them knowing how many have changed? – this is our best kept secret, man – __well, what do you expect, some of us__ not to fight? – no way am I staying out of this – there's no point in holding back, they'll know soon enough._

"Prepare yourselves – they've been holding out on us," I said, nearly grinning. I was starting to be able to distinguish their voices from one another, and if my count was correct, there were at least eight wolves. The fight would be over before the newborns realized it had started.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, irritated that I knew something before she did.

"Shh," I said, needing every bit of focus as the wolves stepped into view.

The sight of the wolves – all _ten _of them – surprised everyone. Jasper, Emmett, even Carlisle, who hadn't expressed one moment of nervousness until that moment, all suddenly had the exact same thought.

_Edward, guard Bella._

Hearing their trepidation made me instinctively want to stand beside them, but with Bella clutching my hand beside me, I knew without a doubt where I belonged.

"_Damn_," Emmett breathed, eyes wide as he truly took it all in. "Did you ever see anything like it?"

_Are we sure this is safe? _Esme thought. She glanced quickly around the circle at her children, her eyes finally resting on Rosalie. Rose, seeing Esme's fear, tried her best to smile reassuringly.

"What is it?" Bella asked, squinting into the darkness. "I can't see."

"The pack has grown."

I wanted to gauge Bella's reaction, but the pack was muttering amongst themselves again, and I was once again struggling to hear Sam's voice.

_So what now? – this is such a waste of time – would you guys please chill, this is cool – like, partying with the enemy__,__ cool? – Jake, __check it out, __your girlfriend's holding onto that leech pretty tight – shut up, Leah!_

"Fascinating," I whispered, unable to control my surprise. I guess I'd always assumed it was only the males who carried the gene. The fact that there was a female among them was something I never could have foreseen.

_You shut up, Jake. You know you're totally jealous._

_ Look who's talking about jealousy! Thinking about Sam much?_

_ Shut UP!_

Leah's voice was almost as raking as Jacob's, and it was clear I was going to be hearing more out of both of them than I cared to.

I didn't completely understand what happened next, but something in Leah's tone changed. Although I still didn't fully understand the inner workings of the pack mind, somehow I knew the next thing I heard was something she was trying to hide from the rest of the wolves. Of course there was no way for her to truly hide her thoughts, but what she was thinking was now more like a flash of images rather than words, and she was moving through them so quickly, I was only able to catch glimpses.

There was Sam, and I could _feel, _rather than hear her love for him. I could tell she'd been his, sometime long ago, but his heart belonged to someone else now. The girl Leah saw was someone I'd caught glimpses of in Sam's mind, but it was only through Leah that I had a name to put with the face.

_Emily._

_ Leave it alone, Leah, just for this one night, we've got work to do. _Jacob's voice startled me, and I realized I'd been listening with rapt attention to the strange love story playing through Leah's mind. She'd lost Sam, and it haunted her.

_You honestly think I can control it, you idiot? _she spat back at him. _I'd love to shut it off, really. Hmm... maybe if I was spending my time thinking about something a little more interesting. Like Embry's little conundrum._

Her voice was almost smug now, like she was thrilled to be bringing up something that was clearly taboo.

_Now's not the time, Leah. It's none of your business anyway._

_ Well it's _somebody's _business. _

Leah's thoughts changed back to her previous tone. I was once again seeing flashes, and then hearing memories as well. Apparently, there was some question as to which member of the tribe had fathered Embry, and it didn't take me long to realize that the issue had been causing quite a bit of drama throughout the pack. Jacob and Leah's argument was quickly joined by a chorus of voices.

_Is anyone ever going to learn to mind their own business around here? - you say that like it's even possible - just because we all _know _about something, doesn't mean we need to discuss it all the time - oh come on, there hasn't been a scandal this big since Sam imprinted on Emily_

_Enough! Not another word._

In an instant, every voice disappeared. It startled me how quickly Sam's order was obeyed. I knew as the Alpha, his word was final, but I hadn't expected the complete and total silence. I guess that was one advantage to having their thoughts joined.

Now that Sam's was the only voice I could hear, he was even clearer than before. He'd silenced the pack out of frustration, but there was another emotion there, hiding just under the surface. His mind drifted to his love - his _Emily_ - and I was suddenly seeing her through his eyes. The way he saw her, the complete and pure adoration, made me feel voyeuristic in a way I never had before. She belonged to him so completely, it felt wrong that I should even be allowed to see her through the medium of his mind. I'd heard the wolves discuss imprinting before, but it wasn't until that moment that I understood it.

_Edward, I'm counting on you to tell me if any of them so much as _thinks_ of attacking one of us._

My mind struggled to focus on Carlisle's voice. I'd found myself distracted, lost in the minds of the wolves for the second time. I felt instantly guilty at my inability to concentrate on the matter at hand. Carlisle was looking to me to foresee any problems that might arise, though unless Sam lifted his gag order, I was going to be just as blind as Alice.

"Welcome," Carlisle said to Sam, outwardly showing nothing but confidence.

_Thank you, _Sam thought, his deep eyes staring meaningfully into mine. I repeated his words aloud, trying to keep my voice steady as the eyes of the pack, and my family, looked on. As I spoke Sam's words, I heard him command his pack once more. _I believe it's important for you all be able to communicate __with__ each other during this exercise, but if there is even one more moment of argument__,__ I will silence you all for the remainder of the evening. We are here to learn. Is that understood?_

_Yes. _One voice. One mind. It was comforting, yet at the same time confusing. I'd never experienced anything like it. The voices I was used to hearing were incessantly self-indulgent. Every human for himself. The pack mentality, as they answered their Alpha's orders, was a unity I never thought I would hear.

_We will watch and listen, but no more, _Sam continued. Now confident in my ability to translate, he was looking straight at Carlisle. _That is the most we can ask of our self-control. _

"That is more than enough," Carlisle said. "My son Jasper has experience in this area. He will teach us how they fight, how they are to be defeated. I'm sure you can apply this to your own hunting style."

_They are different from you? _It was difficult to keep my voice calm, repeating such an offensive statement, but I could hear that there was no malice in Sam's voice. He was merely trying to understand the nature of the creatures he was sending his pack to fight.

Carlisle nodded. "They are all very new – only months old to this life. Children, in a way. They will have no skill or strategy, only brute strength." There was a murmur through the minds of the wolves, far too many thoughts at once for me to pick anything specific out. There was some apprehension at this new information, though their collective voice still sounded mostly excited. "Tonight their numbers stand at twenty," Carlisle continued. "Ten for us, ten for you – it shouldn't be difficult. The numbers may go down. The new ones fight amongst themselves."

_Killing each other off? – those stupid vamps are doing our job for us – excellent__!__ – aw, we're not gonna get to have any fun at all._

_Quiet, please. _Sam's voice didn't have the same commanding tone as it had before. Perhaps a suggestion more than an order. Still, the pack settled back down and I was able to focus on Sam again.

_We are willing to take more than our share, i__f__ necessary. _I fought back the growl that threatened to follow. The rumblings of enthusiastic agreement seemed to suggest the wolves considered themselves stronger fighters than us.

Carlisle must have noticed the edge in my voice. _Calm, Edward. He meant __n__o offense. They're only being helpful. _

If only Carlisle could hear what I was hearing...

_Do you know when and how they'll arrive?_

"They'll come across the mountains in four days, in the late morning. As they approach, Alice will help us intercept their path."

_Thank you for the information. We will watch. _As I translated Sam's words, he added as warning to the pack. _We will watch quietly, and respectfully. And perhaps from a less intimidating vantage point. _There was a groan as the wolves, one by one, laid themselves down.

_So embarrassing – feel like a pet dog – is this necessary, Sam?_

Sam growled, a guttural sound rather than a verbal answer, and the voices ceased once more. There was a strangely quiet moment. Every voice and every mind, both vampire and werewolf, was silent. It was as if we were all taking one deep, much needed breath before we began. With a deep sigh, Jasper finally broke the stillness, taking a careful step forward.

_Are the puppies on their best behavior? _he asked, his eyes locking with mine for a moment. He was trying to be funny, not wanting to let his nerves show, but I knew this was going to be difficult for him. I nodded, confident that Sam would keep the pack in order, and watched as Jasper acted against every instinct he had within him, and turned his back to his mortal enemies. _I can't believe I'm doing this,_ he thought with a groan.

"Carlisle's right," he said, facing my family. "They'll fight like children. The two most important things you'll need to remember are, first, don't let them get their arms around you, and second, don't go for the obvious kill. That's all they'll be prepared for. As long as you come at them from the side and keep moving, they'll be too confused to respond effectively. Emmett?"

_Gladly,_ he thought, grinning from ear to ear. _I'm ready to show these wolves exactly how fast and strong we really are._

Jasper signaled for Emmett to come forward. He wanted everyone to have a proper view.

"Okay, Emmett first. He's the best example of a newborn attack."

_Thanks__, bro. _"I'll _try _not to break anything."

Jasper smiled. "What I mean is that Emmett relies on his strength. He's very straightforward about the attack. The newborns won't be trying anything subtle, either."

_I'll show you subtle, _Emmett added dryly.

"Just go for the easy kill, Emmett," Jasper said, baiting him.

_He's _really _asking for it now. Permission to pummel at will? _I stifled a laugh.

"Okay, Emmett – try to catch me." Without a thought – exactly as Jasper had predicted – Emmett lurched forward. He hurled himself toward Jasper like a bullet out of a gun. No planning, no direction. The perfect example of a newborn attack. We couldn't have scripted a better fight. Emmett fumbled and grabbed, his hands clenching around air, but Jasper always knew exactly what his next move would be. He easily dodged every hit because Emmett was always coming straight toward him.

_Damn it! _he silently screamed, over and over. It was all meant to be an exercise and nothing more, but I could hear the real frustration in Emmett's mind. His pride would always be his greatest fault, and I actually felt myself tensing as the fight went on. I watched as he threw himself at Jasper time and again, never pausing, never thinking.

_I think he's had enough, _Jasper thought, calculating for the briefest of moments before coming up behind Emmett, teeth bared.

"Damn it!" he yelled, this time aloud.

_They're fast – faster than I wanted them to be – interesting tactics – why wouldn't he plan his next move? – are they all going to be that _big_?_

"Again," Emmett growled, forgetting himself, forgetting what this was all about.

"It's my turn," I said, stepping forward. I needed Emmett to snap out of it. Suddenly, I felt Bella's fingers grip mine, pulling me back toward her. Guiltily, I realized that I'd forgotten she was there. It was the first moment since I'd known her that her presence wasn't the strongest force around me. There was an anxious feeling in the air, excited and determined, and it was permeating everything.

"In a minute," Jasper told me. "I want to show Bella something first." I took a careful step back, focusing on Bella again. My perfect, fragile love, standing in a field, watching monsters learn how to fight. It was despicable that I'd forgotten her presence for even a moment.

Jasper motioned for Alice to come forward. "I know you worry about her," he told Bella. "I want to show you why that's not necessary."

Bella's eyes widened as she watched Jasper lunge toward Alice. She closed her eyes and smiled.

_Hmm. Left attack first? _she thought, taking one deliberate step forward. _A little predictable. _I grinned, glad Alice was able to have some fun today. _What'll it be next? Ah, I see. _She took another step and Jasper passed through the space she'd just been standing in.

_Missed me, _she thought as he grasped at air. _Missed me again. _Unlike Emmett, Jasper was planning his moves strategically, but Alice saw every choice he made and was always a step ahead. The two were laughing, thoroughly enjoying their dance. Finally, Alice decided to end the exercise on her terms. Her eyes lifted for a split second and she smiled as she jumped in the air, landing on top of Jasper's shoulders.

"Gotcha," she said, kissing him.

Jasper laughed, his previous anxiety gone. Alice had an amazing power over him. He'd all but forgotten the wolves were watching. "You truly are one frightening little monster," he teased.

_That could be inconvenient - how does she _do _that? - don't understand it - more powerful than I'd expected. _

Then, amid the banter and frustration, I heard Jacob's voice above them all. _Thought she was supposed to be powerless when we were around, _he complained. 

Hmm. The mutt made a valid point. I'd expected Alice to be blind the entire evening, yet here she was, using her powers against Jasper. I looked at Alice, my eyes questioning, and she grinned at me. _The wolves aren't really involved right now. They're only observing, not making any decisions. As soon as I realized what that meant, I asked Jasper to let me show off a bit._

"It's good for them to learn some respect," I agreed, smiling as the irritation continued to resonate through the pack. 

_You ready, Edward?_ Jasper asked, a sly look in his eyes. I was always his favorite opponent in any game. He loved trying to trick me with his mind, thinking moves he wasn't intending on making, planning and then changing his mind at the last second. We were a fairly even match, as far as strength was concerned. I had the upper hand in speed but he was a far more experienced fighter than I was. Suffice it to say, I was glad I would never have to fight him in earnest, because the outcome could truly go either way.

"My turn," I announced, giving Bella's hand an extra squeeze before releasing it. I could tell she was uncomfortable watching me fight, even if it was all simply practice. I worried that she wouldn't be able to handle it when I left for the real fight. I could imagine her scheming, trying to come along, though of course she could do nothing to help us. I hadn't given much thought to where she would be during the actual fight. The only thing I knew for sure was that she needed to be far away. I wouldn't risk one of the newborns catching her scent.

_Give it your best shot,_ Jasper said, bringing me back to the moment as he filled his mind with an array of fighting techniques. He lunged toward me and I smiled, already confident in his first move. I easily dodged his first attack, then came at him from behind, only to have him side-step at the last moment. He turned and ran straight toward me, his mind screaming, _bank left! _but I knew the tenor of his voice so well, his lie was obvious. When he realized that telling me the wrong move wasn't going to work, he tried to force himself not to think at all. His fighting became more primal, more instinctual, but no matter how hard he tried to keep his mind out of it, I could always see what his next move would look like in the moment before he made it_. _

_What I wouldn't give to battle you in a fair fight_, he complained as I dodged yet another hit. _Speeaking of which..._

I couldn't help but laugh as I felt the wave of calm he was attempting to send my direction.

"You wish," I chuckled, taking another snap at him.

_It was worth a try._

_Not that I want to interrupt the party, _Carlisle said, clearing his throat, _but I believe the wolves are getting restless._

Jasper and I laughed. I'd been having so much fun with him, I'd forgotten all about the wolves.

"Back to work," he sighed. "We'll call it a draw." _I was taking it easy on you so you wouldn't look ba__d__ in front of Bella, _he added with a smirk. Sure he was.

_I suppose there's no putting it off any longer, _Carlisle thought sadly. He was the only one not looking forward to combat training. Jasper tried to keep his session with Carlisle very practical and methodical. He taught him the most essential tactics and nothing more, knowing how difficult it was for Carlisle to be fighting at all. It went against everything he stood for. The entire time, Carlisle kept repeating, _necessary, have to protect my family._

When Rosalie's turn came, she was distracted, so Jasper taught her about focus and using all her senses to keep alert. "They won't hesitate for even a second, so you have to be ready at all times," he instructed. "Though our numbers are good, we have to be ready for the possibility of simultaneous attacks. Always be watching, listening, _feeling _where the newborns are around you. They won't be subtle, so as long as you're paying attention, they won't be able to catch you off guard."

I was surprised by how enthusiastic Esme was. She was so much like Carlisle in so many ways, I was expecting her to be as apprehensive as he was, but she was eager to learn everything she could. Throughout her training, she tried to remain confident, but occassionally I heard fear creep into her mind. She worried about her children, she even felt concern for the wolves, but mostly she worried about Carlisle being too hesitant.

_What if he gets hurt because of his unwillingness to kill? _It soon became clear to me that her determination to fight as hard and as strong as possible was because she was expecting Carlisle not to. If the moment came when she feared for his safety, she would do whatever was necessary to protect him.

When Emmett stepped up to fight again, I felt Bella lean sleepily against my side. "We're about finished," I whispered, hugging her closer to me. Even the wolves had grown silent, and I knew the evening was coming to an end. Jasper turned to them with a sigh.

"We'll be doing this tomorrow. Please feel welcome to observe again."

_Yes_, Sam said. _We'll be here. _As I repeated his words, I heard another murmer run through the pack. There seemed to be mixed feelings about the necessity of another training session.

_Isn't one night with these leeches enough? - are you kidding, this is awesome - I can't believe they're letting us in on all this - what are you talking about __– __all this is is a whole lot of training for a fight that's gonna be over before we've had time to have any real fun - speaking of fun, did anyone stop to think what will happen if we accidently have _too much _fun?_

_That's enough! _Sam shouted. _My apologies, _he continued, eyes locked with mine. _You and your family have been nothing but kind to us today. I believe what Paul what trying to ask was, in the heat of battle, with everything happening so quickly, what if we find it difficult to distinguish between you and the others? Would it be possible to take a moment to familiarze ourselves with your particular scents?_

I nodded, taking a deep breath as I turned to my family. "The pack thinks it would be helpful to be familiar with each of our scents - so they don't make mistakes later. If we could hold very still, it will make it easier for them."

"Certainly," Carlisle answered, looking Sam straight in the eye. "Whatever you need."

_Everyone on your best behavior, _Sam ordered.

_Yes__, _they all collectively agreed as they stepped toward us. Sam led the pack, trying not to show his discomfort as he took in our scents one by one. Even he couldn't keep the disgust out of his thoughts, though.

_Sickening_, he thought, his eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head. The rest of the pack laughed, though they all knew their turn was next.

_All right, _Jasper thought, glancing in my direction as he watched the wolves warily. _If any of them gets any bright ideas you'll let me know, right? _I rolled my eyes and nodded. _Way too close for comfort in my opinion. They'd better be worth it. I mean, we haven't actually seen them fight._

_This is fantastic,_ Emmett thought, grinning slyly. _Get a whiff of this, hairballs._

I almost laughed, but at that moment, I noticed the look on Bella's face. She was watching the pack closely, obviously intrigued. As her eyes scanned wolf after wolf, I understood what she was doing. It was as clear as if I had suddenly been granted the ability to read her mind. She was looking for Jacob.

When she finally spotted him, her eyes widened slightly. A small grin appeared, tugging at the corner of her lips, and I felt my fists clench. I suppose it was foolish of me to think she would be frightened of him. After all, it was as a wolf that he had once saved her life. Still, I felt a deep, aching pain in my chest as I listened to her laugh lightheartedly at his ridiculous wolf smile. I was expecting Jacob to have some snide remark to punctuate the moment, but his elation at her easy acceptance of him seemed to make him forget my presence. In a way, that was worse. Neither of them were paying the slightest bit of attention to me. They were lost in their own private moment.

Jacob stepped out of line and walked over to Bella. It wasn't until he passed by me that it occurred to him I was watching the exchange.

_Bet you were wishing she'd be scared, right? _He was trying to infuse his tone with the usual amount of hautiness, but even he wasn't sure how she would react when he was standing right in front of her. When he was within her reach, he stopped and threw one last glance in my direction. _Enjoying the show, leech? _It took every ounce of strength not to lunge for him, but a part of me needed to see how things would play out. Bella's breathing had sped up, and although her predominant expression seemed to be fascination, I could tell there was a bit of nervousness as well. Maybe Jacob would push her just slightly beyond what she was ready for. It wouldn't be the first time he'd dug his own grave where Bella's comfort level was concerned.

I watched as Jacob crouched down, lowering himself until his eyes were level with hers.

"Jacob?" she whispered, and he grunted his affirmation. Slowly, cautiously, she reached out to touch his face_. _

_Bella, _he sighed as his eyes closed. He was practically purring. As Bella continued to stroke his fur, Jacob regained his senses. His eyes were locked with hers, but his thoughts were directed at me_. I know you told me to wait for her to ask, but is it technically a kiss if I don't have lips?_

Before I had time to stop him, Jacob was licking Bella_. Licking her_! I was about to fulfil my promise to break his jaw, but Bella shouted, "Ew! Gross, Jake!" and smacked him in the face. At least she didn't appear to have hurt her hand this time.

The two of them were laughing as my family watched in horror_. _

_So disgusting_, Alice thought_. The smell will never come out. She's going to have to burn that outfit. Not that it's much of a loss._

_You gonna let him lick your girl like that_? Emmett added, clearly only half teasing_._

It wasn't only my family that was having a difficult time understanding the scene in front of them. The rest of the pack had been stopped in their tracks, momentarily forgetting that they were supposed to be memorizing our scents.

_Dude, so uncalled for - she's hanging out with _vampires _and you're practically marking her - give it up, Jake._

Then, Sam's voice rose above them all. _We're finished here. Everyone should return home. It's imperitive that we rest if we are to go through this ordeal again tomorrow night. _The wolves were more than ready to obey, though I could hear that his words had not been a command. He hadn't been using the same tone as when he was speaking as their Alpha. I had to admit, the nuances of the pack were fascinating.

As they all turned to leave, I realized Jacob was still fixed firmly in place. Two other wolves were waiting near the edge of the clearing, urging him to join them. _I'll meet you in a few minutes__, _he told them._ There's something I need to take care of first._

I let out a deep sigh. I didn't remember what it felt like to be exhausted, but I was fairly certain this was as close as a vampire could get to it. All I wanted to do was take Bella home, and let her fall asleep in my arms, even if it was only for an hour or two. I didn't know how much more of Jacob I could take without doing something I would regret.

"Ready to go?" I asked Bella, taking her hand.

_Not so fast. We have to figure out what to do with Bella during the fight. And don't you dare pretend you haven't been thinking about it. Are you taking her somewhere?_

"I've not quite figured out all the details yet_."_

_Leave her with me. Hate me all you want, but you know I can protect her._

"It's more complicated than that. Don't concern youself; I'll make sure it's safe."

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked, irritated. I felt guilty. I knew she hated feeling left out, but until I knew where I was going to take her, I didn't want her worrying about it.

"Just discussing strategy," I said gently_._

_No_, Jacob said, his eyes racing back and forth between Bella and I_. I'm sick and tired of you not telling her things because you think it's for her own good. This is Bella's life, too, you know. She has a right to be involved_. _If you can't manage to see that, then I'm going to talk to her for you._ Before I could say another word, he was running into the trees.

"Wait," Bella shouted after him. "Why did he leave?" she asked dismally. It killed me to hear the disappointment in her voice.

"He's coming back," I assured her. "He wants to be able to talk for himself."

In less than a minute's time, Jacob was jogging back to us, very much human - and very upset.

"Okay, bloodsucker. What's so complicated about it?"

"I have to consider every possibility. What if someone gets by you_?"_

He laughed humorlessly. _You seem to have forgotten that we were _born _to kill vampires. We are _always _ready for them and there is no way one is getting by me_. I shook my head defiantly. "Okay, so leave her on the reservation," he conceded. "We're making Collin and Brady stay behind anyway. She'll be safe there."

"Are you talking about me?" Bella asked, her voice scathing.

"I just want to know what he plans to do with you during the fight," Jacob replied.

_"Do _with me?"

"You can't stay in Forks, Bella." She seemed furious, but she had to have known this was coming. There was absolutely no way she was staying anywhere near this fight. "They know where to look for you there. What if someone slipped by us?"

"Charlie?" she asked, choking on his name.

"He'll be with Billy," Jacob promised her. "If my dad has to commit a murder to get him there, he'll do it. Probably it won't take that much. It's this Saturday, right? There's a game."

I could have strangled Jacob then and there.

"This Saturday?" she shrieked. I was hoping to talk to her about the timing of it all later. Privately. When I could comfort her and assure her we were completely ready. I stared at Bella, waiting for the panic to set in. "Well, crap! There goes your graduation present," she said, and I couldn't hold in my laughter. My Bella, _still _worried about all the wrong things.

"It's the thought that counts," I promised her gently. "You can give the tickets to someone else."

"Angela and Ben," she said quickly, seemingly content with her decision. "At least that will get them out of town."

I reached out to stroke her cheek gently. "You can't evacuate everyone. Hiding you is just a precaution. I told you - we'll have no problem now. There won't be enough of them to keep us entertained." She glared at me, either still unconvinced, or upset that I was once again making light of the fight.

"But what about keeping her in La Push?" Jacob repeated. _You're just being stubborn, you know. She'd be perfectly safe._

"She's been back and forth too much," I reminded him. Maybe he was underestimating the tracking abilities of whoever was in charge of this army. They had her scent. They'd _memorized _it. "She's left trails all over the place. Alice only sees very young vampires coming on the hunt, but obviously someone created them. There is someone more experienced behind this. Whoever he," I stopped, remembering how convinced Bella was that Victoria was behind it, and added, "or she is, this _could _all be a distraction. Alice will see if he decides to look himself, but we could be very busy at the time that decision is made. Maybe someone is counting on that." My biggest fear in all that was that Alice would see someone deciding to go after Bella, but not being able to do anything to stop it. If it was in my power, of course I would leave the fight to protect her, but what if I couldn't get away in time?

"I can't leave her somewhere she's been frequently," I repeated. "She _has _to be hard to find, just in case. It's a very long shot, but I'm not taking chances." Bella was staring at me as I spoke, absolute terror in her eyes. She was so convinced she had this all figured out, I could almost hear her imagining Victoria cornering her while my family and I fought the newborns. "Just being overcautious," I assured her, but she appeared unconvinced.

"So hide her here," Jacob said, pointing toward the forest, his mind wandering through countless locations he apparently deemed remote enough to stop a vampire. Perhaps we hadn't demonstrated our abilities well enough. "There's a million possibilities - places either one of us could be in just a few minutes if there's a need."

I shook my head, frustrated that he wasn't understanding. I thought he was as concerned over her safety as I was, but now it sounded like he wanted to drop her off in the first random patch of woods he could find. "Her scent is too strong and, combined with mine, especially distinct."

_Please spare me the details__,_ he said, cringing as he thought of Bella clutched tightly in my arms. I might have been amused, but I was too busy trying to make him see the necessity of Bella leaving Forks.

"Even if I carried her," I continued, "it would leave a trail. _Our_ trace is all over the range, but in conjunction with Bella's scent, it would catch their attention. We're not sure exactly which path they'll take, because they don't know yet. If they crossed her scent before they found us..."

That did it. That sentence brought the image I'd been fearing all along to the forefront of Jacob's mind. He pictured, all too clearly, the entire army catching Bella's scent, their eyes blood red, and their maker commanding them to strike without mercy. Neither of us could keep the horror out of our expressions.

"You see the difficulties," I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

_I'm starting to_, he admitted silently, not wanting to add to the fear we could both see on Bella's face. "There has to be a way to make it work." _There has to be somewhere those filthy bloodsuckers couldn't find her, somewhere we could be sure they wouldn't go._

I listened as he shuffled through all the areas of the forest I'd already thought of and decided against. There were paths that seemed unlikely they would take, but nothing we could be certain of. Even if Alice saw them choose a path, that too might be a diversion, and they could change at the last moment. We were both silent until I started to feel Bella stumbling at my side. I hugged her tightly to me, and whispered, "I need to get you home - you're exhausted. And Charlie will be waking up soon..."

"Wait a sec," Jacob interrupted. "My scent disgusts you, right?" That was putting it mildly. _Would my scent gross those other leeches out enough to cover up Bella's scent?_

"Hmm, not bad." I watched as Jacob pictured himself running Bella into the middle of nowhere, careful not to let her touch anything. "It's possible." I turned to my family and called, "Jasper?"He looked almost grateful as they joined us.

_I hope whatever you two need will help distract Alice. She's going crazy here._

I was sorry Alice was having difficulties, but I didn't have time to worry too much about it. Jacob had actually managed to stumble onto a possible solution - one that meant I wouldn't have to run Bella out of town - and I was eager to test his theory. "Okay, Jacob," I said, allowing him to explain. Instead of telling Bella his plan, however, he smiled at her and opened his arms. Was he expecting her to just throw herself at him?

_I'll try not to enjoy myself _too_ much. But I can't promise anything._ It was an effort to remain silent. Bella's hesitant expression, however, did manage to suppress whatever lingering feelings of resentment I was feeling. She wasn't going to be any happier with this part of the plan than I was.

"We're going to see if I can confuse the scent enough to hide your trail," Jacob told her, unconsciously opening his arms a little wider. He was trying not to let me hear how disappointed he was that Bella appeared so unwilling to go to him.

"You're going to have to let him carry you, Bella," I explained. She was still eying him warily and Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Don't be such a baby," he complained as he scooped her up. _And you_, he added, glancing at me for a split second, _don't look so smug._

I ignored him, turning my attention to Jasper. "Bella's scent is so much more potent to me - I thought it would be a fairer test if someone else tried."

_Of course_, he nodded, as Jacob and Bella took off. It was all I could do not to listen, but my patience was at its end for one day, and I didn't want to risk hearing something that would push me too far.

_You probably don't really want to hear about what he's feeling right now, right?_ Jasper asked sarcastically.

"Not unless you want the wolf count to be down by one."

_He does smell revolting. You know you owe me one for this._

"I know. And I don't like a single thing about the situation, but I don't know what else to do. There's nowhere I can think of that will guarantee her safety."

_Then I've got your back, __brother._

"Thank you." We waited the brief time it took for Jacob to make his circle, and when I saw them reenter the clearing, Jasper took off to follow the trail. I ran to the edge of the woods to wait for him, and less than a minute later, he and Alice joined us.

_Why is he still holding her?_ Alice asked, glaring at Jacob. _If you want, I can make him put her down._

We all watched as Bella very defiantly stormed away from Jacob, which was more satisfying than anything Alice would have done to him. She took me hand, squeezing it tightly as she asked Jasper, "Well?"

"As long as you don't touch anything, Bella, I can't_ imagine _someone sticking their nose close enough to that trail to catch your scent. It was almost completely obscured."

Almost? Alice must have read the concern on my face because she added, "A definite success." _Remember, no matter how many pieces of her clothing they sniff, we will always know Bella's scent better than those newborns, and we could barely pick it up. You have nothing to worry about. _

"And it gave me an idea," Jasper said.

"Which will work," Alice promised, watching the whole scene play out. She saw Bella using her scent to lead the newborns straight to us. It was absolutely perfect, and gave us control over what we'd considered our biggest wild card - not knowing which direction they would come from.

"Clever," I complimented Jasper.

"How do you _stand _that?" Jacob asked Bella, who was still very obviously irritated with him.

"We're - well, _you're_ - going to leave a false trail to the clearing, Bella. The newborns are hunting, your scent will excite them, and they'll come exactly the way we want them to without being careful about it. Alice can already see that this will work. When they catch our scent, they'll split up and try to come at us from two sides. Half will go through the forest, where her vision suddenly disappears..."

"Yes!" Jacob shouted, understanding at once what that meant. In that instant, he could imagine the way the whole fight would play out. I found myself smiling at his excitement. He was picturing fighting alongside us, fighting against a common enemy, and as unlikely as this alliance had once seemed, he was actually looking forward to it.

_Man, if her __scent's__ gonna drive them that crazy, just imagine how messed up they'd be if Bella was really there. _

"Not a chance," I spat at Jasper, and his eyes widened apologetically.

"I know, I know. I didn't even consider it, not really."

_Sure you didn't_, Alice thought sourly, stomping on his foot. _ That's why I saw a two-second version of the whole brilliant idea. _

"If Bella was actually there in the clearing," Jasper explained, trying to defend himself, "it would drive them insane. They wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything but her. It would make picking them off truly easy..."

I shot him a warning glance. It would be best for all of us if he didn't finish that sentence.

"Of course it's too dangerous for her. It was just an errant thought." _You should know by now that you might not always like everything you hear. You can't blame me for thinking through every possibility. _As he thought it, though, I caught him glancing at Bella again, and I had to silence my growl.

"No," I said firmly.

"You're right." _I'm sorry, really. You know I'd never let anything happen to her._

I forced a nod as he and Alice took off for another round of practice.

"Best two out of three?" he was laughing, and Jacob groaned.

_Nice family, _he thought, seething._ Really putting Bella's safety first._

"Jasper looks at things from a military perspective," I told him, suddenly feeling defensive, though even I'd been furious with Jasper only moments before. "He looks at all the options - it's thoroughness, not callousness."

_Right. Awesome strategy. Why didn't I think of using Bella as bait?_

I rolled my eyes, unwilling to waste another moment on Jacob. I was ready to be done with the whole evening.

"I'll bring her here Friday afternoon to lay the false trail. You can meet us afterward, and carry her to a place I know. Completely out of the way, and easily defensible, not that it will come to that. I'll take another route there."

"And then what? Leave her with a cell phone?"

"You have a better idea?" I snapped, losing my last ounce of patience.

"Actually I do," he smiled.

"Oh..." I waited while he ran through his plan. Jacob had just found a very important job for one of the pack's younger, and more determined, members. "Again, dog, not bad at all."

"We tried to talk Seth into staying behind with the younger two," Jacob told Bella. "He's still too young, but he's stubborn and he's resisting. So I thought of a new assignment for him - cell phone." Bella gave him a half smile, but her eyes betrayed her confusion.

"As long as Seth Clearwater is in his wolf form, he'll be connected to the pack," I explained before turning back to Jacob. "Distance isn't a problem?"

"Nope." Likely trying to hold onto one of the pack's "trade secrets," he didn't seem overly anxious to elaborate. It didn't matter, though. He couldn't stop himself from remembering a time when the pack had tested its limits.

"Three hundred miles? That's impressive."

_Don't you ever feel like a jerk just leaving her out of the conversation like that? _he asked, turning to Bella with a sigh. "That's the farthest we've ever gone to experiment. Still clear as a bell," he told her smugly.

"It's a good idea," I finally said. As hard as it was to think about leaving Bella with a _wolf_, of all creatures, I couldn't argue with their ability to protect her, and I liked the knowledge that I could get to her quickly if something went wrong. It also meant she would be in my arms that much sooner when this whole ordeal was over. "I'll feel better with Seth there, even without the instantaneous communication. I don't know if I'd be able to leave Bella there alone. To think it's come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!"

"Fighting _with_ vampires instead of against them!" he agreed, incredulous.

"Well, you still get to fight against some of them," I reminded him.

Jacob smiled, his mind filled with visions of vampires being torn apart, and his eyes filled with excitement. "That's the reason we're here."

A/N: *whew*, did ya make it? Thanks again for your patience on this one, hope it was worth the wait (and hope everyone sees now why this chapter took me FOREVER!). Next chapter should be pretty quick and then it's time for the proposal, ahhhh! My mind is already spinning thinking about that one. My goal is to get them both out to you by the time Eclipse comes out in theaters (June 30 for those of us here in the states...), so wish me luck (and wish baby girl lots of loooong naps). *mmmmmwhah!* Love y'all! :)


	17. Selfish

A/N: Hi everyone, sorry I've been away so long. I could tell you my tale of the malfunctioning computer, the sick family, and the exploding water heater... but I think I'll just let you read the chapter instead. Much thanks for patience, reviews, and all your kind words. For those who will be watching Eclipse tonight, have fun! I'm getting soooooooo excited. One of my friends texted me after seeing the midnight show, and said it was GREAT, we're all gonna love it! Until next time...

Thanks again to shasta53 for beta-ing, and *good catch.* This one was probably rougher than usual since the only time I ever seemed to get a chance to work on in was after 10pm. You're awesome! :)

Selfish – EPOV

Our evening of training with the wolves observing, was at its end. It was a good thing, too, because Bella was exhausted. She was swaying at my side, her eyes half closed, though of course insisted she was perfectly fine. Still, there was no way I trusted her to hang onto me as tired as she was, so I carried her in my arms on the run home. Thankfully, she was tired enough not to argue with me and she sighed as she snuggled closer to my chest. I felt her body go limp about halfway to her house, and I slowed down, letting myself take a moment to enjoy the quiet peacefulness that came over her. She'd once been terrified to run with me, and now she trusted me enough to fall asleep in my arms. It was a wonderful feeling.

It would have been nice to say the rest of the night was as peaceful, but I'd barely tucked Bella into bed when she started tossing and turning, mumbling incoherently. It was nearly morning, and I wondered if she would wake up at her usual time, even though she'd been asleep less than an hour. I knew Bella enjoyed waking up early, especially when we had the whole day to spend together, but there was no way I was going to wake her after the night she'd had. She deserved a day of rest after.

There were a few moments where I was certain she was waking up. Her eyes even started to flutter open several times, but she always squinted at the light coming in through her window, groaned, and fell back asleep. I was perfectly all right with her taking a day off from the world, so I rubbed her back and ran my fingers through her hair until she slipped back into a deep sleep. It wasn't long before she was sleep talking more clearly, her head resting on my shoulder.

"Don't go. Too dangerous," she muttered, her hand gripping at my shirt. I smiled, tracing my fingers up and down her arm. When I stopped at her wrist, I felt the bracelet that I hadn't really had time to examine earlier. I'd seen it at the party and had assumed it was a graduation gift from one of her friends. It wasn't until I looked closer that I noticed the charm on it – a wolf. Of course.

It was tiny and obviously hand-carved, innocuous at first glance, but the more I stared at it, the more it bothered me. It wasn't simply that Jacob had given her a gift, but rather the fact that she'd both accepted it, and was already wearing it. She threw a fit whenever I tried to buy her something. She even argued if my _family_ gave her presents. Yet Jacob had been allowed to give her a gift that also happened to be a constant reminder of his presence.

"Ridiculous double standards," I muttered, then fell silent again as Bella stirred. I berated myself for having disturbed her with yet another bout of my poorly controlled jealousy. It had been easier to ignore the feeling when Bella was angry with Jacob, but her fear for his safety since he'd decided to join the fight seemed to have put us all right back at square one. One way or another, he always found a way to be in her life.

"Jacob," she whispered a moment later, confirming my thoughts. I felt my teeth clench together, but was careful not to make a sound this time. "Too young," she mumbled. Like a child who'd just gotten his way, I found myself grinning. Unfortunately, my elation was short lived.

"All too young," she continued. "Don't fight. Don't die."

My eyes shut tightly and I held Bella closer to me. She was worried about the pack. _All _of them. It was in her nature to worry, especially since she considered herself the reason there was going to be a fight at all. If anything happened to any of the wolves, I knew she'd never forgive herself. Which was why I was all the more determined to do everything in my power to keep them safe.

I didn't have to like them and I didn't have to trust them, but for Bella's sake, I would help them. If that meant translating at a few more training sessions, and listening in on the drama within the pack, so be it. I wanted them to be as prepared as possible. In actuality, I imagined the wolves themselves would fight much like the newborns. They would be running primarily on instinct, going for the obvious kill, and it was that style of fighting I worried would get some of them in trouble. The more they learned from us, the better chance they would have at leaving the fight uninjured and without casualties.

I don't know how long I spent thinking about the pack – planning, thinking up strategies for them – but I was brought back to the present when Bella muttered, "family." I had no way of knowing whether she was still dreaming about the wolves or whether her thoughts had drifted back to me and the rest of my family. I knew she'd long considered herself an honorary Cullen, and we'd certainly welcomed her in as such, but I also knew how close she felt to Jacob and his friends. Though I'd never understand how she was comfortable with either group, I was always very aware of the fact that her heart was divided. She had two places that felt like home, two families that would fight to protect her, and two creatures that shouldn't exist who would give anything to keep her beside them forever.

The hours passed, and the sun continued to shine through Bella's window. I wasn't accustomed to watching her sleep in the daylight, but I enjoyed the way that, even in her sleep, she seemed to smile as the sunlight hit her face. She was murmuring and stretching, before wrapping her arms more tightly around me, when her face pulled into an expression of utter fear.

"No!" she cried, and I held her close, stroking her hair and trying to push the nightmare away. "Don't hurt them! I'm here, I'm right here."

I tried to keep myself calm – my getting upset wouldn't help Bella drift back into a more restful sleep – but I understood where her unconscious thoughts had gone. She was always trying to find a way to keep everyone else safe, even if the cost was her own safety.

"Edward," she groaned, and though her eyes were shut tightly, I could almost see tears behind them.

"Bella, shh," I whispered. "You're all right, you're safe. No one's hurt. No one's in danger."

"Help. Have to help." Bella's voice was getting softer, though no less urgent, as she began muttering words that were meaningless to me. I guessed that many of them were Quileute, names or places she'd learned during her visits to La Push. Amid the stream of words I knew little about, I heard her say, "the third wife helped," and while the words were English, they made no more sense to me than the foreign words had.

"Not right, not here," was the last coherent thing she spoke, before drifting back into a seemingly dreamless sleep.

My fingers continued tracing lines up and down her back, but my thoughts were miles away. Bella was going to get herself hurt, or worse, trying to protect us unless I made absolute sure she couldn't get anywhere near the battle. I was counting on Seth to keep her safe and far away from the fight, depending on his ability to make her stay hidden when what she clearly wanted was to be seen. I was trying to stay positive, but it was incredibly difficult leaving so much in the hands of such unpredictable creatures.

Bella was restless the remainder if the day, and there were several times I considered waking her. Although I didn't hear anything else that sounded like a plan to put herself in danger, I could hear her distress in every sound she made. Eventually, a calm seemed to spread across her face, and her chin lifted up toward me.

"Edward?" she said softly, caught between a yawn and a stretch. I smiled as her hand tried to find me, her eyes still closed against the light pouring in through her window.

"Are you really awake this time?" I whispered. If she was finally dreaming of me, I definitely didn't want to wake her.

"Mmm," she breathed, snuggling against my chest. "Have there been a lot of false alarms?"

"You've been very restless – talking all day."

"All _day_?" she repeated, her eyes opening more fully and struggling to focus.

"You had a long night. You'd earned a day in bed," I reminded her.

She sat up, though she still seemed somewhat disoriented. "Wow," she said, staring at the window. She looked absolutely beautiful as the afternoon light bounced off her hair, turning it to a shimmering golden color. It was as if all the stress of her troubled sleep melted away. We'd both spent so much time worrying about the future lately, and I was thrilled to take the opportunity to remember what it was like to just be together. I almost didn't want to speak, for fear that it would remind us of what was waiting for us outside these four walls. Still, there were some things that couldn't be avoided. I heard the low rumble of her empty stomach before she'd seemed to notice it.

"Hungry?" I asked, then quickly added, "Do you want breakfast in bed?" hoping to keep her to myself for a little while longer.

"I'll get it," she sighed. "I need to get up and move around."

She nearly stumbled just stepping out of bed, so I held on a little more tightly than usual as we walked hand in hand downstairs to the kitchen. As soon as the food was in sight, her stomach growled again, and I laughed to myself as she squeezed my hand before letting it go. I sat down in my usual chair and Bella glanced at me for a split second, then grabbed her box of Pop-Tarts. I'd watched her eat so many times, yet she always seemed a bit nervous, like eating in front of me would offend me or bother me in some way. I wasn't even sure she was consciously aware of it anymore, but whenever I was in the kitchen with her, she kept her breakfast routine as fast and simple as possible.

"Ugh, I'm a mess," she suddenly said, her eyes widening as she looked at her reflection in the toaster. I wanted to disagree, to tell her that she was as beautiful as ever, but I'd learned that there was positively no point in paying her a compliment when she'd just woken up. Even if it was the middle of the day.

"It was a long night," I reminded her. "You should have stayed here and slept."

"Right! And missed _everything._ You know, you need to start accepting the fact that I'm part of the family now."

I grinned, loving the easy, confident way she said it. Bella was part of my family, now and always. No matter how much she cared about Jacob, how much she worried about the pack and their safety, and even if she loved spending time in La Push, my family was home to her. She wanted us as deeply as we wanted her.

"I could probably get used to that idea," I said casually, though I was finding it difficult to suppress my excitement. Still, there was one thing she hadn't yet agreed to – the thing I wanted, _needed, _to really feel like she was a part of my family forever. I felt my eyes drifting to her left hand, and the finger that I'd envisioned placing a ring on. After a moment, the emptiness of it started to consume me, and I had to look away. Unfortunately, my eyes fell on her wrist, and the one piece of jewelry she _was _wearing.

"May I?" I asked, reaching out to examine the wolf charm.

"Um, sure," she said nervously.

Bella sat there, frozen, as I held the small wolf in the palm of my hand. She was holding her breath as if waiting for me to voice my disapproval. As much as it troubled me to see her wearing it, I didn't feel right about asking her to take it off. I remained silent, trying to think of something that would appease that nagging voice inside me, without offending Bella in the process.

The wolf was intricately carved for such a tiny piece of wood. I had to admit, Jacob was talented – and smart. He'd made it himself, which meant Bella couldn't make him return it, and of course she would wear it because he'd obviously worked hard on it and she wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. So there it would remain, day after day, a nice little reminder that he was always there. Not that I had any doubt Bella already thought of him often. Her sleep talking was proof enough of that, even if she did try to shield me from it during her waking hours.

When I'd finally reconciled with myself that there was no way I could, in good conscience, ask her to remove it, I decided the best alternative was to use it to my advantage. A small piece of leverage, perhaps, but against Bella's stubbornness, I would gladly take whatever I could get.

"Jacob Black can give you presents," I said quietly, carefully gauging her reaction.

The tiniest blush colored her cheeks, and she didn't look me in the eye when she answered. "You've given me presents," she said. "You know I like the homemade kind."

I knew she was referring to the CD I'd made her of some of my piano compositions, though how giving her music counted as a gift was beyond me. She'd been my muse, the reason they existed at all. I was just sharing the product of her inspiration. I was about to argue that very point, when something occurred to me. Bella might not quite be ready to let me put a ring on her finger, but there was one diamond she might be willing to wear, assuming I managed to keep my tone casual.

"How about hand-me-downs? Are those acceptable?" I asked, not quite looking at her.

"What do you mean?"

"This bracelet," I said, tracing the line of her wrist with my fingertips. "You'll be wearing this a lot?"

Bella shrugged, probably still worried about offending me. I nearly sighed. She really did spend too much time trying to please everyone else. I wouldn't be surprised if she started taking it off when I was around and putting it back on whenever she was with Jacob. Although, if my plan worked, I hoped she wouldn't find that necessary. I didn't mind her wearing it – I just wanted it to remind her of my love as well.

Bella was looking down anxiously, so I added, "because you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings."

"Sure, I guess so."

I stared at her hand, already imagining her wearing my mother's diamond. It was one of the few ties I still had to my human life, and it wasn't until I pictured it on Bella's wrist that I realized how important it was to me to share it with her. I let my finger trace along her wrist, my cold touch on her heated skin making her shiver slightly. "Don't you think it's fair, then, if I have a little representation?"

"Representation?"

"A charm – something to keep _me _on your mind."

"You're in every thought I have. I don't need reminders." It was a lovely sentiment, and under other circumstances, I might have lingered awhile on the thought, but I was on a mission.

"If I gave you something, would you wear it?" I asked, finally meeting her eyes.

"A hand-me-down?" she repeated. Always so stubborn.

"Yes, something I've had for a while." I was trying to remain casual, but I could feel a wide smile breaking through as I thought of the diamond my mother had once worn. It had hung gracefully around her neck on the most delicate of chains, casting prisms around my room when the light hit it. It was one of the clearest human memories I had, and I'd clung to it for so many decades. I never thought anyone would wear it again, yet now I wanted nothing more than to see it reflecting in Bella's eyes.

"Whatever makes you happy," she finally said, though it was clear she wasn't thrilled by the idea of accepting anything I had to give her, even if I hadn't spent a penny on it.

"Have you noticed the inequality? Because I certainly have." I hadn't meant for my voice to sound so sharp, but it was hard to fight the feelings of frustration. Why was she so unwilling to let me give her gifts?

"What inequality?" she asked.

"Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn't. I knew it would have upset you more than if anyone else did. That's utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?"

"Easy. You're more important than everyone else. And you've given me _you. _That's already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance."

Her tone had been so matter-of-fact, that it took me a moment to realize what she was saying. How she could still see herself as the winner rather than the prize was beyond me. I rolled my eyes. "The way you regard me is ludicrous."

Bella nearly rolled her eyes back at me, but seemed to catch herself, and instead, went back to eating her breakfast. I was about to return to the subject of my little _hand-me-down,_ but the sound of my ringing cell phone stopped me. I looked at the number on the phone, though I already had a pretty good idea of who it was and what she was going to tell me. Alice had been keeping a close eye on Bella's future, and after what I'd heard last night, I guessed there were certain decisions Bella was considering that neither Alice nor I would approve of.

"What is it, Alice?"

"Looking out for all of Bella's stupid choices is starting to turn into a full time job. I might demand another car if this keeps up." I sighed, waiting for her to finish her rant. All I really cared about was finding out what absurd stunt Bella was planning, and what I would need to do to stop her.

"You know, I thought she'd started to develop a little better sense of self-preservation," she continued. "I hadn't seen her making any life threatening decisions in such a long time, but I guess I was wrong. All last night, I kept getting visions of Bella stumbling around, trying to find the clearing like Jasper was talking about. Apparently, she thinks all we need is a nice tasty little distraction for the newborns, and we'll have this fight in the bag. I never actually saw her reach the clearing because, well, it's Bella, but lately she's been doing a lot of thinking about jamming a rock into her hand, which of course is brilliant, because then we'd all be running around like bloodthirsty newborns. She really doesn't think things through very well, does she? I just hope becoming a vampire will help her common sense a bit. Anyway, that army is busy wiping itself out – they're down to nineteen by the way – and they're basically doing our job for us. There's absolutely nothing to worry about, and if you could possibly try to get that through Bella's head, I'd appreciate it."

I sighed again, a little more loudly this time, trying to reign Alice in. I raised an eyebrow at Bella who was fidgeting nervously, and turning a deeper shade of red by the second.

"Okay," Alice finally breathed, apparently nearing the end of her speech, "I just thought you should know that Bella is being completely senseless about the whole situation."

"I sort of guessed as much," I told her, my eyes locked with Bella's. "She was talking in her sleep." Bella's eyes widened like she'd been caught in a lie.

"I trust you to take care of this," Alice said firmly. "And while you're at it, you can go ahead and tell Bella that her sister says that if she does anything to jeopardize her future – "

"I'll take care of it," I said, cutting her off before she broke the phone. If I hadn't been so upset, I might have smiled at Alice's _sister _title, but it was difficult to think of anything besides why Bella was chewing on her lip, and avoiding my gaze.

"Is there something you'd like to talk to me about?"

I watched as a thousand expressions seemed to tug at her face, her eyes worried, sorrowful, then finally resolute.

"I like Jasper's idea," she admitted, and I bit back all the things I wanted to say but knew wouldn't be helpful. My only option was to rationalize with her, make sure she understood _why _it would be completely counterproductive to have her anywhere near the fight.

"I want to help," she pleaded. "I have to do _something_."

"It wouldn't help to have you in danger."

"Jasper thinks it would. This is _his _area of expertise."

I glared at her, because she was not going to use Jasper's military tactics to justify a suicide mission.

"You can't keep me away," she said, her chin lifting slightly, defiantly. "I'm not going to hide out in the forest while you all take risks for me."

I was still upset by the thought of Bella willfully putting herself in danger, but I suddenly saw the image of Bella's attempt to find us. She'd be wandering aimlessly through the forest, grumbling to herself about not having a better sense of direction, and tripping over loose branches along the way.

"Alice doesn't see you _in _the clearing, Bella," I explained. "She sees you stumbling around lost in the woods. You won't be able to find us; you'll just make it more time consuming for me to find you afterward." I'd expected it to upset her, but when she answered, instead of petulance, I only heard confidence. "That's because Alice didn't factor in Seth Clearwater. If she had, of course, she wouldn't have been able to see anything at all. But it sounds like Seth wants to be there as much as I do. It shouldn't be too hard to persuade him to show me the way."

Why did I have to be in love with the most aggravating woman on the face of the Earth? We were arguing over whether or not she should be allowed to offer herself up to a bunch of ravenous vampires. This shouldn't even be a conversation.

"That might have worked... if you hadn't told me. Now I'll just ask Sam to give Seth certain orders. Much as he might want to, Seth won't be able to ignore that kind of injunction."

She didn't miss a beat. "But why would Sam give those orders? If I tell him how it would help for me to be there? I'll bet Sam would rather do me a favor than you."

I fought back a snarl. Yes, I'm sure the wolves would be all too willing to let Bella "help," if it allowed them to rack up the vampire death count more quickly. All the wolves except one, that is. And, though he wasn't exactly stepping up to his position, I knew Jacob had every right to make such a command.

"Maybe you're right," I admitted. "But I'm sure Jacob would be only too eager to give those same orders."

Confusion flickered across Bella's face. "Jacob?"

Considering his natural arrogance, it had never occurred to me that he'd kept his birthright, and all that it entailed, a secret. Even if he wasn't leading the pack as their Alpha, what point was there in hiding who he was from Bella?

"Jacob is second in command. Did he never tell you that? His orders have to be followed, too."

I watched as Bella's eyes pulled together, struggling to think of anything else she might be missing, but she knew that Jacob would be every bit as eager as I was to keep her safe. It was two against one, and there was nothing else she could say. I could see she was upset, utterly defeated, so I quickly tried to change the subject.

"I got a fascinating look into the pack's mind last night," I told her. "It was better than a soap opera. I had no idea how complex the dynamic is with such a large pack. The pull of the individual against the plural psyche... Absolutely fascinating."

Bella's scowl didn't budge. I still couldn't wrap my mind around someone being so upset that they were not being allowed to risk their life.

"Jacob's been keeping a lot of secrets," I continued, trying a different approach. "For instance, did you note the smaller gray wolf there last night." Bella nodded, though she was obviously still set on giving me the silent treatment. I laughed a little, knowing she wouldn't be able to resist the next piece of gossip.

"They take all of their legends so seriously. It turns out there are things that none of their stories prepared them for."

Bella considered this for a moment, then let out a deep sigh. "Okay, I'll bite. What are you talking about?"

"They always accepted without question that it was only the direct grandsons of the original wolf who had the power to transform."

"So someone changed who wasn't a direct descendant?"

"No. She's a direct descendant, all right," I said, unable to hold back a smile. It had been fairly clear to me, just in the short time I'd spent listening to the pack, that they were all still somewhat irritated that a female had joined them. It wasn't sexist, it was simply a matter of having to accept something none of them had even considered. They felt foolish for never having thought of it, and wondered if there were other surprises in store for them as the pack continued to grow.

I watched as understanding flickered across Bella's face, then her eyes grew wide. _"She?"_

I nodded. "She knows you. Her name is Leah Clearwater."

"Leah's a werewolf?" she gasped. "What? For how long? Why didn't Jacob tell me?"

"There are things he wasn't allowed to share – their numbers, for instance. Like I said before, when Sam gives an order, the pack simply isn't able to ignore it. Jacob was very careful to think of other things when he was near me. Of course, after last night that's all out the window."

None of the wolves had been thrilled about my ability to listen in on their thoughts. None except Sam, who was just happy that no one had to appear in their human form to translate. He was a true leader, and I had to admit I admired his ability to put that pack's best interests first, even if it meant putting them in a situation they were uncomfortable with.

I smiled at Bella, happy to see her mind was focused on something other than the fight, at least for the moment. It was surprisingly enjoyable, being able to talk about the wolves with her. I'd spent so much time and energy trying to keep her away from them, yet now that we were all being asked to trust each other to fight a common enemy, I was finding learning about them more interesting than I could have imagined.

"I can't believe it," Bella finally said, shaking her head. "Leah Clearwater!"

Bella's eyes glazed over and she appeared lost in thought. I wanted to ask what was troubling her, but I was afraid it would bring us right back to the subject before. After several moments, however, she breathed, "Poor Leah."

I wasn't surprised that Bella knew something of Leah's story, and how losing Sam had devastated her. While I did commiserate with her to an extent, it was difficult to feel sorry for Leah after hearing how antagonistic she'd been with the rest of the pack. A broken heart didn't justify making everyone else miserable. It was the reason I'd fled the company of my family after leaving Bella. It didn't feel right to make them suffer simply because I was suffering.

"She's making life exceedingly unpleasant for the rest of them," I told Bella. "I'm not sure she deserves your sympathy."

"What do you mean?"

"It's hard enough for them, having to share all their thoughts. Most of them try to cooperate, make it easier. When even one member is deliberately malicious, it's painful for everyone."

"She has reason enough," Bella argued quietly, and it occurred to me by the blush that suddenly colored her cheeks that she probably wondered if she was sharing classified information.

"Oh, I know," I told her. She needed to understand that the wolves really weren't able to keep secrets any longer, not with them opening their minds to me all at the same time. Even if they tried to hide something, inevitably, one of them would let it slip. I'd heard more than they'd ever wanted to share, more than I could have possibly imagined.

I knew, even without hearing Leah think directly about it, the way she'd been torn apart by Sam's imprint with Emily. Even in the way she looked at him, or rather _didn't _look at him, it was easy to see the pain would never go away. It would have been easy to be angry with Sam, to hate him for having hurt someone he supposedly loved, but I'd also seen the world through his eyes. And his eyes saw no one but Emily.

Even when he was with the pack, even when he'd been training with my family, a part of his mind was always on Emily. She was like an ever present echo in his mind, whispering reminders that even when they weren't at each others side, they were together. It had been almost painful at times, reminding me so much of how I love Bella, and how nothing had silenced my longing for her when we'd been apart. Sam and Emily's love was unstoppable, inevitable – like fate had designed them specifically for each other.

"The imprinting compulsion is one of the strangest things I've ever witnessed in my life, and I've seen some strange things," I explained to Bella. "The way Sam is tied to his Emily is impossible to describe – or I should say _her Sam. _Sam really had no choice. It reminds me of _A Midsummer Night's Dream _with all the chaos caused by the fairies' love spells... like magic."

Shakespeare had written of the madness that love can cause. I'd witnessed the devastation it had brought to a pack who wanted nothing more than to have a unified mind. I'd felt the kind of pain that only loss of one's true love can bring. Love could be the most destructive forces in existence, yet all of us – whether human, vampire, or werewolf – clung to it violently. I felt myself smile, realizing that although love manifests itself differently throughout all our species, it also proves that there's at least one thread we all have in common.

"It's very nearly as strong as the way I feel about you," I added with a grin. I'd expected Bella to smile back at me, but she was still lost in thought.

"Poor Leah," she whispered again. Then her brow pulled together and she asked, "But what do you mean, malicious?"

"She's constantly bringing up things they'd rather not think of. For example, Embry."

"What's with Embry?"

Ridiculously, I felt a twinge of excitement, like we were two children sharing secrets. It wasn't something I was accustomed to experiencing, or particularly proud of, but I was having fun.

"His mother moved down from the Makah reservation seventeen years ago, when she was pregnant with him. She's not Quileute. Everyone assumed she'd left his father behind with the Makahs. But then he joined the pack."

"So?"

"So the prime candidates for his father are Quil Ateara Sr., Joshua Uley, or Billy Black, all of them married at that point, of course."

"No!" she gasped, and I stifled a laugh. We were behaving exactlylike children, and I couldn't make myself feel guilty for it.

"Now Sam, Jacob, and Quil all wonder which of them has a half-brother. They'd all like to think it's Sam, since his father was never much of a father. But the doubt is always there. Jacob's never been able to ask Billy about that."

"Wow. How did you get so much in one night?"

Strangely enough, I wasn't exactly sure of that myself. There were some things, such as Leah's bitter thoughts meant only to hurt, that were clear and difficult to ignore. There had been other things as well, though, thoughts left unformed, that I had understood the meaning of. In many ways, it was similar to much how I'd learned to read Charlie's mind – hearing the tenor of his thoughts rather than distinct words. Even when listening to ordinary people, often humans aren't thinking clearly, and listening to the emotions behind the words sometimes provides an even clearer picture. That knowledge allowed me to get a deeper understanding of the pack mind than the wolves would have wanted me to, I'm sure.

"The pack mind is mesmerizing," I told Bella, unable to fully explain how interesting it had been. "All thinking together and then separately at the same time. There's so much to read!"

Her answering laugh was so carefree, I wasn't expecting what she said next. "The pack is fascinating. Almost as fascinating as you are when you're trying to distract me."

I tried to keep my expression smooth, but I knew what was coming, and I still had no idea how to appease her.

"I have to be in that clearing, Edward," she said, her eyes pleading and making me hate myself. I'd brought this on her, just like everything else. I wanted to give her everything, _always _wanted to give her everything – but not if it meant putting her in danger.

"No," I said firmly.

Then, the strangest look came into Bella's eyes. I only saw it for the briefest of moments before her gaze darted away from me. When she spoke, her voice was trembling.

"Okay, look, Edward. Here's the thing... I've already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are. _And I can't stand it if you leave me again,_" she said, frightened. It was far worse than her usual stubbornness, and I found myself instantly wracked with guilt.

It wasn't often that Bella was honest with me about how terrible it had been for her when I'd so foolishly left Forks. Usually, we both avoided talking about it completely, but the times we did mention it, Bella wore a mask of calm acceptance. I knew she didn't want me to see how, during that time, she'd missed so much. She didn't listen to music or read books, she remained distant been from her friends and from Charlie. She spoke of my time away almost as if it was simply part of our history, and since I'd come back and we were together now, no harm done. I might have been able to believe her – if it wasn't for Jacob.

He'd showed me time and again what Bella had looked like. He replayed the scene of Sam carrying her lifeless body from the woods again and again. Through his mind, I'd seen the dark circles under her eyes, heard her voice shake and her heart nearly stop at even the mention of me or my family. I knew what life had been for her, though she rarely spoke the words, so it was a shock to me that actually hearing her talk about it caused me such inexplicable physical pain.

I think I'd opened my mouth to say something to her, but before the words had formed, she was in my arms. I didn't even realize I had moved. My hands were running up and down her arms, touching her cheeks, brushing through her hair. I had to make her understand that this was different, that I was coming back. There was nothing in the universe strong enough to take me away from her again. Not after what I'd done. Not after having promised her forever.

"You know it's not like that, Bella," I pleaded. "I won't be far, and it will be over quickly."

"I can't stand it," she repeated, her voice strained and miserable. "Not knowing whether or not you'll come back. How do I live through that, no matter how quickly it's over?"

How _could_ I ask such a thing? The only reason I was willing to let her out of my sight was because I knew she was going to be safe. All I could think to do was to try to make that same promise to her regarding my safety, though I doubted anything I could say would make her believe. "It's going to be easy, Bella. There's no reason for your fears."

"None at all?" she asked, her eyes still not meeting mine.

"None."

"And everybody will be fine?"

"Everyone," I assured her. It seemed for a moment like she might believe me, but something in the back of my mind reminded me that it couldn't possibly be that easy. All I was doing was saying the same words I'd said since the wolves had decided to help us.

"So there's no way at all that I need to be in the clearing?" she asked.

"Of course not," I promised. She had to know, though, that no amount of danger to my own safety or my family's could make me wish her there, and I wondered for a split second what she was really asking. "Alice just told me that there's down to nineteen. We'll be able to handle it easily."

"That's right – you said it was so easy that someone could sit out. Did you really mean that?"

"Yes." There was a short pause, an intake of breath, and then it all made sense.

"So easy that _you _could sit out?"

She still wasn't looking at me, but at least now I understood why. On one hand, it was a terrible thing she was asking of me, and I had no doubt at all that she knew it. No matter how easy the fight might or might not be, it was in our best interest to keep the numbers on our side. For a moment, I pictured Carlisle on the sidelines, keeping himself away from the bloodshed because he couldn't bare to take a life, not even the life of a bloodthirsty vampire bent on our destruction. If _anyone _should the stay behind, it should be Carlisle, yet he hadn't for a moment thought of leaving his family when they needed him most.

On the other hand, I understood what Bella was asking for, because no sooner had I pictured Carlisle sitting out, than I imagined Esme fighting without him. Even if we told Carlisle to stay, to hold onto his morals and his determination to protect every life, he wouldn't be able to stand not knowing whether his beloved would return to him. He would be wherever she was, no matter the cost.

Bella's gaze finally lifted to meet mine, and there was a mixture of guilt, fear, and determination in her stare. "So it's one way or the other," she said, her voice steadier than it had been before. She knew this conversation changed everything. "Either there is more danger than you want me to know about, in which case it would be right for me to be there, to do what I can to help. Or... it's going to be so easy that they'll get by without you. Which way is it?"

I watched her closely, wondering how well she'd thought this through. Obviously, she was letting her fear get the best of her – fear of losing me, fear of feeling that emptiness again – but had she considered any other type of loss? She loved my family – Alice was like a sister, Carlisle and Esme like loving parents. Now, with the wolves involved as well, there were, in essence, two sets of family and friends in danger. Was she really willing to put _my _safety above all of theirs?

"You ask me to let them fight without my help?" I asked, saying the words softly, carefully.

"Yes." I was startled by how sure she sounded. "Or to let me be there. Either way, so long as we're together."

In her mind, it was as simple as that. All she needed was for us to be together. There was no regard for her own safety. She would gladly risk her life to help save us all, but if I wouldn't allow it, then she was at least going to guarantee mine. I took her face in my hands, felt her warm cheeks under my touch, and stared into the eyes of the woman I loved. It was agonizing as I realized, yet again, that I had never and would never deserve her absolute and unyielding love for me.

I wasn't angry with her, I could _never _be angry for her needing me. I needed her just as completely as she needed me. Even though she'd been quick to answer my question, I could tell by the look in her eyes that she felt nothing but guilt over having asked me to leave my family behind. I wondered for a moment, if they would understand when I asked them to fight without me, whether they would hold it against Bella. Instantly, I felt a stab of pain as I realized the answer. No, they wouldn't hold it against her – not unless someone didn't survive the fight.

I'd tried to keep my face smooth and relaxed, to not betray anything to Bella that would cause her to feel more guilt, but the thought of any one of my family members losing their mate contorted my expression. I tried to hide the agony I felt, but I could picture far too clearly what it would do to any one of them if someone were lost. They would never forgive me, or Bella, if a life was lost that might not have been had I been there to help defend them. Our family would never be the same. I would never be the same.

I forced the dark thoughts out of my mind, and decided the only thing I could do was to speak to my family, specifically Jasper. I might be able to understand what Bella was asking, but thinking about the possible consequences for everyone else had made me realize, this wasn't a decision I could make alone. While I could ask each of them individually, the easiest way to know whether or not they were really okay with me sitting out would be to discuss it with Jasper. They could lie to me, they could even try to lie with their thoughts, but there was no way for them to lie with their emotions. Jasper would know if, after having suggested I stay behind, the mood changes – if doubts start to creep in, nervousness, hesitation.

Bella still hadn't moved, and I wondered what she'd read in my expression. I sighed, not exactly looking forward the conversation I was about to have with my family, then reached for my phone.

"Alice. Could you come babysit Bella for a bit? I need to speak with Jasper."

"Of course. I saw it the moment she started thinking about it. It was rather hard to ignore, actually. I'm not going to lie to you and say that it doesn't changea lot of things, but I really don't see any problems arising. At least, as far as I can see with those mangy mutts still involved. I'll be right over, and I'll tell Jasper you're on your way."

"What are you going to say to Jasper?" Bella asked sheepishly when I hung up.

"I'm going to discuss... me sitting out."

"I'm sorry." Her eyes were filling with tears, though I could hear the relief in her voice.

"Don't apologize," I said, smiling as I remembered that all she was asking was simply a product of her love for me. She'd been honest with me, and it had only proved her love further. "Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is what you need... " I shrugged, trying to seem indifferent, though her vulnerability was tugging at every emotion inside of me. "You are my first priority."

"I didn't mean it that way – like you have to choose me over your family."

"I know that," I promised. I hadn't meant to make her feel _more _guilty. "Besides, that' not what you asked. You gave me two alternatives that you could live with, and I chose the one that _I _could live with. That's how compromise is supposed to work."

Like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders, she learned forward until her head was pressed against my chest. "Thank you," she breathed.

"Anytime," I told her as I kissed the top of her head. "Anything."

We sat in peaceful silence for several minutes, all thoughts of the fight momentarily disappearing. There was Bella and there was me. The rest of the world could wait. Unfortunately, my own mind couldn't be silenced for long. I knew Alice would arrive shortly, and there was at least one question I wanted answered before Bella and I parted ways.

"Who's the third wife?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"You were mumbling something about 'the third wife' last night. The rest made a little sense, but you lost me there."

"Oh. Um, yeah." I could feel her face flush, the warmth radiating against my cool skin. "That was just one of the stories that I heard at the bonfire the other night. I guess it stuck with me."

It seemed I'd been right about her muttering random Quileute words, but I still didn't know what about this particular story had upset her enough to cause her such agitation at my mentioning it. I was going to inquire further, but I could hear Alice outside.

_I thought you were going to make Bella see there's nothing to worry about, not let her scare you into staying home._

I turned toward Alice and rolled my eyes, though I did hope that, all joking aside, she understood my decision.

"You're going to miss all the fun," she said sourly.

"Hello, Alice." I turned back to Bella, kissing her gently before I stood to leave. "I'll be back later tonight. I'll go work this out with the others, rearrange things."

"Okay," Bella said, sulking slightly.

_Oh, for goodness sake, _Alice thought, grumbling. _You'd think Bella could stand spending _one _evening with her sister instead of her boyfriend. _

I laughed under my breath. It would be nice if I had a title slightly more significant sounding than "boyfriend," but I did love that Alice always called herself Bella's sister. At least in her mind.

"There's not much to arrange," Alice said politely. "I already told them. Emmett is pleased."

"Of course he is." I was quickly bombarded with images of him taking on several newborns at once. It was something he hadn't counted on having to do, but with our numbers presumably down by one, he was hoping he'd get the chance to show off a bit.

_This won't take long, Edward. None of them are as upset about this as you clearly are._

I smiled as I left, feeling much better about asking, now that I basically knew they were already on board. Alice did have a way of working magic. I'd barely stepped through the door when Emmett was at my side.

"Decided to let me have a little extra fun, did ya?" he said, throwing an arm around my shoulder.

"Don't get too excited. From what Alice tells me, there might not be enough of them left by the time they get here for you to have much fun at all." I tried to infuse my voice with the same amount of enthusiasm as Emmett had, but the truth was, this was still difficult for me. I'd never even considered leaving my family's side, and even if they all gave me their blessing, it was difficult to imagine not being there.

"Aw, don't tell me that. I'm all ready to get this party started!"

Just then, Carlisle appeared at the bottom of the stairs. His mind was already filled with grief at the bloodshed he knew was now only two days away.

_Edward, can we speak for a moment?_

"Em, I need to get going. I have to talk with Carlisle and Jasper about what changes this is going to mean for everyone."

"All right, you guys have fun talking. Meanwhile, I'm going to be warming up!" With that, he was off running laps around the forest.

"Are you okay with this, Edward?" Carlisle asked when we were alone.

"Only if everyone else is." I hated that it was only partially true. Bella had made it clear that she needed me to stay, and if my family objected, I honestly didn't know what I would do.

"Our family is understanding. As you've already seen, Emmett is ecstatic." It was obvious he was holding back the disgust in his voice. "Rosalie is, well, Rosalie. I assume you don't particularly care what her opinion is, though I'm sure you'll hear plenty about it. Jasper doesn't believe we have anything to worry about. 'Numbers aren't as important as tactics,' was how he put it. Alice thinks Bella is being ridiculous, but she also doesn't want her trying to find her way into the clearing during the fight, so she'd rather you stay with her to ensure she doesn't do something foolish."

"And what about you?"

_I wish I could remain here with you, but my family's needs come first._

I felt a stab of pain that Carlisle couldn't say the words aloud, and could feel how difficult it was for him to even think them. He wanted nothing more than what I was taking for myself.

"Do you think this means I'm not putting my family's needs first?" I asked.

"You are putting Bella's needs first, and she _is _your family. Please, remember that. Also remember that right now, she is the weakest of us. That will not be the case forever, but until you're ready to give her that strength, she is the one who needs the most protection. The rest of us will be fine."

"Thank you."

"I'm happy if I've helped put your mind at ease. Now, I assume you'd still like to speak with Jasper, though I can tell you we've already discussed how this has effected us strategically."

"Yes, I would. Thank you again."

"Of course. Whatever you need, Edward."

I found Jasper outside, leading a private training session with Rosalie. In a lot of ways, she was the least skilled for combat, having no special abilities to use to her advantage, and having never been in a real fight before. She wasn't worried, but Emmett had insisted Jasper spend some extra time with her.

"Always keep your eyes moving," he instructed her. "They're not going to sneak up on you, so as long as you're paying attention, they won't catch you off guard."

"I don't really see the need for all this training. You know Emmett's never going to let anything close enough to me to do any harm."

Jasper laughed. "That may be true, but he's going to pummel me if I don't get you as prepared as possible." I joined in Jasper's laughter, and they both turned toward me.

"Well, look who it is. The betrothed of the girl who started all this mayhem to begin with. Still planning on letting your family do all the dirty work while you babysit?

_Don't listen to her, Edward. We're fine._

"What's the matter, Rose? Afraid Emmett will be too busy killing all those extra vampires, and you might actually have to get your hands dirty?"

I tried to ignore the stream of profanity that came next as I walked to Jasper's side. "She's really upset," I said as she stormed away.

"What's new? Don't tell me you're going to let Rose start getting to you now."

"It isn't Rose that's the problem," I admitted.

"Like I said, _we're fine_."

"You must know what I want to ask you."

"You want to know if any of them are more worried now that we're down one fighter?"

"I _have _to know."

"Why?"

"Because if everyone is suddenly nervous, it means more mistakes. More mistakes means more chance of someone getting hurt."

"Can you answer me this – would it make any difference?"

I paused a moment, wishing my answer were different, but I finally sighed. "No."

"Then why do you want to know?"

"It'll keep me sane, that's why! Do you think this is easy for me? Staying behind while my family fights to protect my _wife_!" The word was out before I could stop it, and a moment later, Jasper broke into a fit of laughter.

"Yeah, how's that going?" he finally sputtered. Although I wasn't thrilled with what he was laughing at, it was nice to have the tense mood lifted.

"I've been a little busy," I said sarcastically.

"You know, you're lucky she didn't just have Carlisle change her as soon as she figured out what was happening with this army. Alice certainly saw it as a very distinct possibility. She thought about it _a lot._"

"I know."

"And you know the second this fight is over, she's going to demand it."

"_I know._"

"So, have you given up on changing her yourself?"

"No, of course not."

"Then what are you waiting for? You already have the ring." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Alice thinks it's very sweet that you're giving her your mother's ring."

"I don't exactly have a choice. She won't let me buy her anything new."

"You're not answering my question. What are you waiting for?"

I took a deep breath. It was hard to admit it to anyone, even Jasper. "I don't want her to say no. Again." I shrugged. "You wouldn't understand."

"Probably not. One of the first things Alice said to me after we moved in with you guys was, 'We're getting married next month. Don't worry, I started planning our wedding after I had that first vision of you, so we're all set.'"

We both smiled as we thought about their wedding. Alice was stunning, as usual, but there was a simplicity to the day that only served to make it that much more spectacular. I couldn't help but think about what Bella would look like in her wedding gown. I also couldn't help but see one aspect of that day with absolute certainty. I wanted Bella to be human when she promised herself to me for eternity. Somehow, I could feel that it would make all the difference. Of course there was no way to know for sure that this _life _was what she wanted, but if Bella had sworn to be mine forever, I could change her without guilt because I would know that _I_ was what she wanted forever.

"From the drastic change in your mood, I'm confident you're not thinking about the fight anymore," Jasper said. I laughed under my breath and shook my head at him. "Which is good, since you have absolutely nothing to worry about. The rest of them aren't worried, either, by the way. Not that it matters," he added, teasing.

"Thank you."

"Any time. Now, I think we've chatted long enough for Alice to have charmed Charlie into getting exactly what she wanted."

"What exactly is that?"

"Oh, she's just clearing Bella's schedule for the next couple of days. Didn't you hear? Those of us _not _chickening out of the fight are going hunting," he smirked.

"And Bella is going to be... ?"

"Shopping, of course. At least as far as Charlie's concerned. Now, if you don't actually want to take Bella shopping, I think she'll be able to handle the disappointment. Especially if it means you two get to spend some quality time together. Talking. About, you know, whatever."

It was obvious Jasper was not-so-subtly hinting that now might be the time for a proper proposal, but there was also something else coloring his tone. Something that he was finding particularly amusing. I knew his taunting voice well enough to realize he wasn't going to tell me anything, so I tried to listen to his mind, but he was already reciting Welsh poetry and singing the alphabet backwards.

"Nice," I muttered, and he doubled over laughing as I turned and ran back toward Bella's.

As soon as I stepped onto the porch, I heard Alice and Charlie chatting conversationally. He was asking her about her college plans, and whether or not she was going to stay in the area. Then they talked about where she and Bella would be shopping over the weekend, and he asked if they needed any money. It never ceased to amaze me the way Alice seemed to have Charlie wrapped around her finger. And Bella thought _I _dazzled people.

"Knock, knock," I said, and Charlie muttered something that sounded like, "come in, I guess." He looked back and forth between Alice and I several times before finally wishing me a good time on my trip.

"Thank you, Charlie. It will be nice to unwind after the long school year."

"Your lovely sister here was just telling me how she's going to be keeping my Bella company while you all are away."

"Yes, it's hard to keep Alice away from her girl time. Especially if the alternative is just to hang out with her _boring_ family," I teased. Alice stuck out her tongue at me and we all laughed. "Speaking of us boring Cullens, we really should be going. We're leaving very early in the morning," I added.

"Well, don't let me keep you," Charlie said, happy as always to get rid of me.

I walked outside with Alice, who smiled impishly up at me.

"What's gotten into you? And Jasper, for that matter?"

"I just think you two are going to have a wonderful time together tomorrow, that's all."

"Alice?"

"Good night!" she chirped, taking off at lightning speed. I sighed, and ran around the side of the house to Bella's window. I waited for her on her bed, once again wishing I could talk her out of coming to the training session tonight. There really was no need for her to be there, especially since I was no longer preparing to fight. Of course, I had to remind myself that there were others she cared about who _would _be fighting.

The moment Bella stepped into her room, she asked, "What time are we meeting with the wolves?"

She sat down beside me, purposely stopping herself from laying down. Even though she'd slept most of the day, I had a feeling she was still tired enough to fall asleep if she laid down.

"In an hour," I told her.

"That's good. Jake and his friends need to get some sleep."

"They don't need as much as you do."

"Did Alice tell you that she's kidnapping me?" she asked, ignoring the implication that she should stay and rest.

I couldn't hold back my smile. Alice had been so good, she'd even fooled Bella. "Actually, she's not," I said, grinning. She stared at me, confused, and I laughed at her blank expression. "I'm the only one who has permission to hold you hostage, remember? Alice is going hunting with the rest of them. I guess I don't need to do that now."

"_You're _kidnapping me?" she asked, and I nodded. I'd expected some enthusiasm, hoped she would be excited about finally getting to spend some time together. Stress-free, and alone.

"Is that all right?" I asked, when she didn't respond.

"Well... sure, except for one thing."

"What thing?" I asked nervously. Had I been presumptuous, assuming she would want to spend a night alone in my house? Perhaps it made her feel more comfortable, having Charlie in the next room all these nights. Maybe the idea of being _truly _alone actually frightened her, though I thought I'd made it clear long ago that her blood no longer tempted me beyond what I could handle. I was about to ask if she'd rather stay at home, when she grinned at me.

"Why didn't Alice tell Charlie you were leaving _tonight?_"

I smiled and pulled her close to me, wrapping my arms tightly around her and kissing the back of her neck. She shivered, giggling as my cool breath tickled her. We stayed like that for nearly an hour, laughing softly, and me showering her with frozen kisses. Everything about her was more relaxed now that she knew I was going to be safe. It almost made me forget about the fight altogether, but as the moon shone brightly through her window, Bella muttered, "Don't we have to get going?"

I sighed, selfishly wishing we could stay like this all night. A moment later, though, my responsibilities kicked back in. Even though I wasn't training anymore, the wolves still needed me to translate. I swiftly pulled Bella onto my back, happy that even the way she held me as we ran felt more carefree. When we reached the clearing, I could tell that Jasper hadn't been exaggerating. I could hear nothing but confidence from my family.

Bella took in the scene in front of her, the easy way my family was talking and practicing. It didn't take her long to realize that there were significantly fewer eyes watching tonight's training session.

"Where are the rest of the wolves?" she asked.

"They don't all need to be here. One would do the job, but Sam didn't trust us enough to just send Jacob, though Jacob was willing. Quil and Embry are his usual... I guess you could call them his wingmen."

"Jacob trusts you." It wasn't a question. She knew it was true, and I could tell it made her happy. She was always trying to get the two of us to get along. As if there was some magic key to all three of us being able to coexist, though we both loved her, and only one of us was fortunate enough to have her.

"He trusts us not to kill him," I told her. "That's about it, though."

"Are you participating tonight?" she asked, her eyes not quite meeting mine She was still feeling guilty, so I tried my best to reassure her.

"I'll help Jasper when he needs it. He wants to try some unequal groupings, teach them how to deal with multiple attackers."

I heard her breath catch, and I wished I hadn't said it. Our numbers were still good, even without me, though the chance that someone would, at some point, be fighting off more than one newborn at once was likely. Emmett was counting on it. A moment later, Jacob spotted us, and he wasted no time bounding to Bella's side. Like a puppy. A ridiculous, extraordinarily large and rancid smelling puppy.

"Jacob," I said, my voice pleasant.

_Sure. _Ignoring me, Jacob appraised Bella's expression, then tilted his head to one side in question. _What's wrong, beautiful? _he thought, and it bothered me more than it probably should have that he wasn't even thinking about me standing beside him, listening.

"I'm fine," Bella said. "Just worried, you know."

_That's really stupid. What is there to be worried about?_

I rolled my eyes. "He wants to know why," I told Bella.

_Nice translation. Care to rephrase anything else for me?_

"What?" Bella asked, when Jacob growled.

"He thinks my translations leave something to be desires. What he actually thought was, 'That's really stupid. What is there to be worried about?' I edited, because I thought it was rude."

_And I think your inability to keep your opinions to yourself is rude._

"There's plenty to be worried about," Bella said, staring intently at Jacob. "Like a bunch of really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt."

_Hurt? _he thought, barking a laugh. _This is what we were made for._

_ Hey, Edward, _I heard Jasper call to me from across the field. _If you're finished playing with the dog, I could really use a hand over here. I want you and Emmett to come at me from opposite sides so we can show everyone what to do, and more importantly, what _not _to do._

"Jasper wants help," I said directly to Bella, ignoring Jacob as much as possible. "You'll be okay without a translator?"

"I'll manage."

_Yeah, bloodsucker, she'll do just fine. In fact, I think she understands me better when you're _not _here to add your special commentary._

Bella was still staring at Jacob, her eyes worried, though not as worried as she'd been looking at me the previous night. At least, that's what I was trying to convince myself of as I left the two of them there. I was trying not to watch them, attempting to give all my attention to Jasper, but after the third time I was pinned to the ground, I heard Rose mutter, "Good thing he's sitting out tomorrow."

I shut my eyes, and left the rest of my family to train without me. I still wasn't sure that they were better off without me, but the choice had already been made. And at the moment, the only thing on my mind was getting Bella away from Jacob, and focusing on our upcoming night together. Alone. In my room.

With my mother's ring tucked carefully away in the bedside table.


	18. Compromise

Hi. So, first things first. It was recently brought to my attention (THANK YOU!) that my Midnight Sun continuation had been blatantly plagiarized. As in, copied and pasted, "look what I wrote." Complete with added author's notes ("author's" notes...). Mmm. Classy. *insert rant here* I was going to say more, but instead I'm just gonna leave it at... it threw a bit of a kink in my think, but they've removed it and we're done. Over. Tada. I've moved on. Really. No, _really. _

OKAY, second, Eclipse... was... AMAZING! (both times I saw it) I love it, I really do, and the soundtrack is equally wonderful. In fact, Sia's "My Love" just _feels _so Edward and Bella, it's provided quite a bit of inspiration for my own take on the proposal. Ah, the sappiness. It makes me so very happy. THANKS to everyone, I really, REALLY appreciate you guys. Hope this lives up to everyone's expectations. Oh, and you know how chapter 16 was loooooong? Yeah... um. Yeah. * deep breath** * **Here we go!

Compromise

Our final training session had ended hours ago, and Bella was in her bed, finally sleeping soundly. It had taken nearly two hours for her sleep talking to stop. The sun was up by the time she slipped into a dreamless sleep, and she spent the majority of the morning in bed. When she was coherent, Bella informed me that she had several things to take care of before joining me for our evening together. I was eager to get her back to my house and enjoy us being trulyalone – as opposed to alone, except for a sleeping Charlie one room away – but I waited patiently while Bella gave away concert tickets to her friends, packed Charlie a lunch for his fishing trip, did three loads of laundry, and ate dinner slower than I'd ever seen her eat. It almost felt like she was nervous about something, though she'd made it clear the night before than she was looking forward to spending the night at my house.

"My family will be leaving soon. I should probably check in before they go," I told her. I did want to speak with Alice one last time, to make sure there wasn't any new information, but more than anything, I felt the need to give Bella some alone time. There was something different about her nervousness, something that made me think it wasn't just concern over the upcoming battle, and I hoped that having some time to think it through without my hovering over her would help.

When I reached my house, all the lights were off except for one, and it was quieter than I'd expected. Had everyone left already? I entered the silent house and ran up the stairs to my room, quickly making sure everything was ready for Bella's visit. My eyes were drifting back and forth between the large bed that was rendered useless when Bella wasn't there, and the nightstand which held the ring I so desperately wanted to place on her finger. My thoughts were so far away, I didn't realize Alice was standing behind me until I heard her sigh.

_You have absolutely nothing to worry about._

I looked up to see her arching one eyebrow at me, and wondered if there had been more to the conversation that I'd missed. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

_I wasn't _saying _anything, _she teased.

"I thought everyone had left."

_Everyone did, and I was already a few miles away when I started seeing you pacing around like you were worried something bad was going to happen. So, I came back to check on you, and here you are, looking worried. Can you please at least try to enjoy your evening with Bella? It wasn't easy getting Charlie to agree to let her come over._

I cast her a disbelieving stare.

_Fine, _she admitted, smiling angelically. _Maybe it _was _easy. But considering I didn't even get a "thank you" from you for arranging everything, I think the least you can do is promise you won't waste your time with Bella worrying over stupid things. _

She paused, her mind wandering and jumping so quickly, I couldn't focus on anything specific. Then, her expression changed and she spoke aloud. "You two really need this. Bella's been a mess lately."

I wanted to argue with her, but I knew she was right. Although Bella seemed to have relaxed around me after my agreeing to stay out of the fight, I knew there was plenty left on her mind. She was worried about my family, worried about the wolves, and no amount of assurance on my part or the part of my family seemed to make any difference.

"What else am I supposed to do, Alice? I hate to see her like this, but I've already done all I can do. I'm staying behind so she doesn't have to worry about my safety, but you know as well as I do that her concern for _me _is only part of what's bothering her. Unless that _mongrel _decides to stay behind as well, I don't think she'll be content until after the fight is over."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Even then," she muttered, and I wondered what she was seeing – seeing and hiding.

"So, what do you suggest?" I asked.

She smiled again, her mind flashing through images that had once terrified me, but now felt almost comforting in their inevitability. Bella, pale and cold, yet smiling – a member of my family, standing beside us, strong and wonderful. The two of us holding hands, white on white, finally belonging to the same world. Bella's lips hard against mine, together without fear or hesitation. It was one of the more alluring of Alice's visions, and one that I was only now starting to admit had been a source of temptation, urging me to give in to Bella's request against my better judgment.

"Well, what I meant was, what do you suggest I do to ease Bella's mind about the fight. But I appreciate the sentiment," I added, joining in her grin. "Don't suppose you've seen anything about a wedding that you're not sharing with me?"

"I've always been able to see Bella in her wedding dress, but that's because I've already picked it out for her. It won't be a true vision of the future, however, until she decides she's ready for that step."

"Very helpful, Alice."

"Oh, I know. Now, you'd better make sure you're ready for our house guest. Bella's packing right now, incredibly slowly, I might add, and she should be ready – " she closed her eyes for a moment, "in twenty-three minutes."

"I think everything's set. There's plenty of food in the kitchen, her bed is made, I believe the house is at a comfortable temperature."

"Yes, the house is perfect. But are _you _ready?" For a split second, I saw Bella sitting on the bed, looking up at me expectantly. There was a longing in her eyes, though I couldn't think of anything she would want that I'd be unwilling to give her.

The only think I'd refused her was that I be the one to change her myself, and technically, I wasn't _refusing _so much as agreeing, conditionally. And truth be told, even if she never said yes to my proposal, when that day came and Carlisle stepped up to fulfill his promise to change her, if she still wanted it to be me, I couldn't imagine telling her no. Anything and everything I have to give, I'd give to Bella, whether she decided to be my wife or not.

"Alice, I know you don't like to share things that you think could alter the future – "

"Which is why I've gotten very good at singing all my favorite songs backward," she grinned.

"Yes, you're very annoying. What I'm asking, though, is if you've had two conflicting visions – like how at first you could see me either killing Bella or changing her – then don't you think it's only fair to let me see both possibilities? You're not guiding the future, you're just – "

"Good-bye, Edward," she chirped, flitting out the door and down the steps before I had time to stop her.

"Perfect," I muttered. All I'd wanted to know was if I had a shred of hope, if the idea of saying yes had ever even crossed Bella's mind. It didn't have to be the _only _future Alice saw, but I'd like to know it was one of the possible outcomes. I just didn't know how I would have the courage to ask Bella again – and ask her theright way this time – unless I knew she was at least considering saying yes.

With one final glance at the room I'd soon be sharing with Bella, I left to go get her. Hating the idea of Bella coming home – _to our home – _and finding it dark and uninviting, I turned on every light as I raced through the house. I sighed as I ran past my car, reminding myself that Bella was, in fact, drivingme home tonight. It didn't bother me, though. Whatever made Bella more comfortable. When I got to her house, I saw that her overnight bag was already waiting inside her truck. Alice had been right, of course. She was ready to go. Bella flung the door open before I'd had time to knock twice.

"Anxious?" I asked, smiling at the way her cheeks were blushing pink.

"My bag's all packed, and the truck's ready to go," she said, not really answering my question.

"Bella, you're flustered," I told her softly, brushing her hair out of her face. "This was supposed to be a relaxing evening."

"I'm sorry. I've got a lot on my mind right now. I mean, you know that. You do, too. Of course." Her blush deepened, and she looked down at the ground, embarrassed.

"Yes, there are a lot of things happening in our lives right now. Which is all the more reason to not think about them for one night. Everything's taken care of. My family is hunting, getting their strength up. The wolves are confident. There's nothing for you to worry about." Her eyes met mine, exasperated, and I knew I was fighting a losing battle. "Okay, you're right. There are plenty of things that you _could _worry about. Will it solve anything, though?"

Grumbling, she shook her head. "I guess not." I smiled my most reassuring smile, though she didn't return it.

"For this one night," I begged, "could we try to forget everything besides just you and me? It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Just you." The truth of my words shocked me, as did the desperation I heard in my own voice. I did need this night, and I realized in that moment that I needed it every bit as much as Bella. All we'd done for so long was worry about the newborns. Even the nights we'd spent in each other's arms had been tainted by fear of what was to come.

It was odd, yet somehow, with the knowledge of the army's approach on the horizon, the fact that they were closer than they'd ever been before, I could feel that tonight had the ability to bring us peace. We knew where our enemy was, and when they would be here. There was nothing more we could do to prepare, so for one night, there was absolutely no point in thinking about them. Fear could be put aside for the evening, and I had every intention of making the most of it.

I walked Bella to her truck, and she smiled at me as she took her place behind the wheel. Though she was keeping a smile on her face, I could hear in her frantic heartbeat that nervousness was still getting the best of her. She drove more slowly than usual, her hands gripping the wheel tightly until I reminded her to relax. She took a few deep breaths, and I felt the truck slow down even more. Under normal circumstances, I might have given her a hard time about the pace we were traveling, but I was determined not to rush anything tonight. There was nowhere we needed to be, nothing that needed to get done. It was freeing, knowing that nothing but a huge, empty house was waiting for us. If Bella wanted to take an hour to get there, I wasn't going to complain.

I couldn't help but smile as I realized that soon, Bella would be coming home with me every night. Once she was part of my family, officially, this would be her home as well. That thought made me more eager to reach our destination, and I was happy when I could see the lights from my house shining through the trees. I wasted no time, and the second Bella shut the engine off, I was around the truck and at her side. I flung her door open, anxious to have her in my arms again.

Her bag on my shoulder, I scooped her up and pressed my lips to hers. I felt her exhilaration as she kissed me, like she'd just realized there was nothing we needed to think about but each other. Her fingers threaded into my hair, and I needed her closer. Without thinking, I picked her up and crushed her to my chest. Her breath caught and for a moment, I thought I'd hurt her, but the next moment, she was hugging herself even tighter to me.

My love in my arms, I ran toward the house, nearly kicking the door in on my way. She didn't seem to notice. She was too busy filling every one of my senses, driving me crazy in a way I probably should have been worried about, but I couldn't make myself feel anything but joy. Bella was in my arms, in my _home_, and for the first time, there was no one there except for us. No Alice trying to sneak in a little "girl time." No Rosalie in the next room, thinking her opinion obnoxiously loudly. No one listening, and no one to listen to. Over the years, I'd gotten so used to the constant chatter of everyone's internal monologue, the serene quiet that filled the house only served to make the moment that much more special. I could hear nothing but the beating of Bella's heart, and the sound of us breathing together.

I realized after a few minutes, that we were still standing just inside the door. We had the whole house to ourselves, and we couldn't make it past the entryway. Reluctantly, I started to pull away from Bella, and she whimpered as my lips parted from hers. I laughed softly at her unwillingness to end our embrace, even for a second.

"Welcome home," I said, my eyes locking with hers, completely overwhelmed by the emotion those words evoked in me. I never thought I would share my home with anyone but my family – that I would always be alone in my very full house.

"That sounds nice," she answered, smiling up at me warmly. I set her down, though everything in me wanted to carry her up to my room and continue our kiss. There was something I wanted to do first, though. I was anxious to give her the present she'd already agreed to accept.

"I have something for you," I reminded her.

"Oh?"

"Your hand-me-down, remember? You said that was allowable."

She frowned, her eyes shifting down to the floor. "Oh, that's right. I guess I did say that."

"It's up in my room. Shall I go get it?"

Something flashed in her eyes, and her reluctance about accepting my gift vanished. She twined her fingers through mine and looked up at me from under her lashes. "Sure. Let's go."

I couldn't place exactly why, but a rush of excitement took over, and I scooped Bella up without another thought and carried her to my room. After setting her gently down, I went to retrieve the diamond that was one of the few ties to my past – one of the only ways I could bridge the world I'd known with the world in which I now lived.

When I'd returned, Bella was standing somewhat shakily, and eying the bed. A moment later, she appeared to decide something, and went to sit in the very center of the golden comforter. She looked like she was bracing herself for something terrible. I could only hope that her aversion to gifts would disappear when she realized that in our family, resources were virtually unlimited.

"Okay," she said, begrudgingly. "Let me have it."

I laughed at her posture, wondering what she was expecting me to give her, then joined her on the bed. Her heart sped up as she appraised my light expression. "A hand-me-down," I repeated, just in case she was thinking of going back on her word.

Carefully, I lifted her left arm away from her body, and could feel her pulse beating frantically as I touched her wrist. My fingers grazed the carved wolf, though its presence wasn't bothering me at the moment. All I could think about was attaching the diamond to her bracelet, finally being able to share a piece of my history with Bella, the absolute embodiment of my future.

As I placed Bella's arm back at her side, I watched her eyes meet the reflection of light coming from the diamond. I almost regretted having given it to her inside – it would have been much more effective had it been catching the sunlight in our meadow. It was harder than usual to read her expression, but her quiet intake of breath made a smile tug at my lips.

"It was my mother's," I said, nearly a whisper. I hadn't expected my voice to betray my emotion, so I quickly added a shrug of indifference. "I inherited quite a few baubles like this. I've given some to Esme and Alice both. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way."

I smiled lightly, though my half-truth felt wrong. I wanted her to know what it meant to me. I needed her to understand that the things I'd given to my family hadn't had the significance that this piece did. I could still see my mother's face when I looked into its facets. I could almost, _almost_, remember the sound of her voice the day my father had given it to her. Someday, when Bella had grown more accustomed to accepting the things I gave her, I would tell her the truth. For now, though, I would be content simply to see Bella wear it.

I'd gotten lost in my memories, and it took me a minute to realize that Bella was watching me. Her stare was somewhat apologetic, like she knew what it meant and was sorry she was taking away its significance.

"But I thought it was a good representation," I continued quickly, grinning, so she would know I was still enjoying myself. "It's hard and cold. And it throws rainbows in the sunlight."

Bella blinked, her eyes scrutinizing first the diamond and then me. "You forgot the most important similarity," she whispered. "It's beautiful."

"My heart is just as silent. And it, too, is yours."

She lifted her bracelet just enough that it caught the light of one small lamp that was shining from beside the bed. Her eyes didn't leave it as she said, "Thank you. For both."

"No, thank _you_," I said, finally letting out the breath I was holding. I hadn't realized how nervous I'd been that she would refuse it. "It's a relief to have you accept a gift so easily. Good practice for you, too." I grinned at her, challenging her to argue with me, but instead, she burrowed under my arms until her head was pressed against my chest. I held her as tightly as I could without worrying about hurting her. Every muscle in my body ached to hold her closer, crush her to me and never let go. _Soon_, I reminded myself. She would only be this fragile for a little while longer. An excitement I'd only recently started to get used to coursed through my veins at the thought of it.

"Can we discuss something?" she asked softly, bringing me back from where my mind was slowly wandering – which was probably a very good thing. I still needed to be minding every second with her, not letting my guard down thinking about the future, when things would be different. "I'd appreciate it if you could _begin _by being open-minded," she added.

An unnamed anxiety passed through my thoughts. I thought I'd already given in on everything she'd claimed I wasn't open-minded about – my aversion to her spending time with the wolves, my determination to keep her human. "I'll give it my best effort," I said, careful not to make a promise I couldn't keep.

"I'm not breaking any rules here," she added, already defensive, which didn't help to calm my nerves. "This is strictly about you and me. So..." She drew out the word, stalling, even though she was leading the conversation. "I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other night. I was thinking I would like to apply the same principle to a different situation."

She sounded like she was trying to work out a business arrangement. The corner of my mouth twitched into a smile. "What would you like to negotiate?" She didn't speak right away, but her heart began racing and her breathing sped up. "Listen to your heart fly," I said softly, struggling to get her to meet my eyes. "It's fluttering like a hummingbird's wings. Are you all right?"

"I'm great," she answered, far too quickly.

"Please go on then."

"Well, I guess, first, I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition thing."

I knew she wasn't thrilled with the idea of marriage, but hearing her call it _ridiculous _was painful. "It's only ridiculous to you. What about it?"

"I was wondering... is _that _open to negotiation?"

"I've already made the largest concession by far and away – I've agreed to take your life away against my better judgment. And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on your part."

"No," she said firmly. "That part's a done deal. We're not discussing my... renovations right now. I want to hammer out some other details."

I wanted to argue with her, but she was right. This discussion wasn't whether or not she was going to be changed. That had been decided long ago, without my having more than a single, ineffectual vote in the matter. My marriage condition was only related to me changing her myself – something we, in actuality, _both _wanted. I was swiftly reminded of what an idiot I was.

I looked into Bella's eyes again, reminding myself that her transformation was imminent. With that understanding, I had to ask, "Which details do you mean exactly?"

She paused, her cheeks flushing again. "Let's clarify your prerequisites first."

I already felt foolish for trying to coerce her into marrying me by refusing something that should have been a given. If Bella was going to enter this life with me, why wouldn't I be the one there with her when it began? Still, I'd begun it. There was no way I could back out now.

"You know what I want," I said.

"_Matrimony,_" she said, her voice thick with sarcasm. I could have been upset, but at least we were talking about it. Maybe the stars would align, and she would actually let me explain my reasoning.

"Yes," I said, then decided that if we were doing this, if we were actually trying to work out the details, as she'd put it, she might as well know about all the things I'd like to give her. With a grin, I added, "To start with."

"There's more?" she asked, obviously taken aback.

"Well, if you're my wife," I said, loving the sound of the word on my lips, "then what's mine is yours... like tuition money. So there would be no problem with Dartmouth."

"Anything else?" she asked, cringing. "While you're already being absurd?"

"I wouldn't mind some _time_."

"No. No time. That's a deal breaker right there."

I let out a defeated sigh, though I hadn't really expected any other response. She'd been _very _clear about how important the time frame was to her. While I couldn't imagine it mattering a decade from now, or a century from now, Bella was insistent that she not be more than the year she already was older than me. "Just a year or two?" I pressed uselessly.

She shook her head. "Move along to the next one."

"That's it. Unless you'd like to talk cars..." Bella still wasn't smiling, but I couldn't contain my grin as I realized... we were negotiating. She was hesitant, yes, and completely uncooperative, but we were negotiating nonetheless. Starting with my marriage proposal. If she was truly considering saying yes to that, then I couldn't imagine anything I wouldn't give her in return.

I reached out and started idly playing with her hand, turning it over, tracing the inside of her wrist and making her shiver. I found myself staring at the diamond that was now hanging from her bracelet, and from there, my eyes drifted to her ring finger – the empty place I was beginning to let myself imagine wouldn't be empty for long.

"I didn't realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself. I'm extremely curious." It was hard to hide the fear in my voice, but the weight of the moment was heavy on me. I felt certain that I would give her anything that was in my power to give, but was there anything she wanted that I _couldn't _give?

My mind started to race. The only thing I could think of was that she was having second thoughts about leaving someone behind. Charlie, perhaps, or her mother. What if she wanted to let them in on the secret, so that she could someday – when the bloodlust of newborn life had passed – see them again? We could never risk their safety like that. We'd barely managed to escape the Volturi's punishment for Bella knowing the truth, and that was only because Alice saw her becoming one of us. A fresh wave of panic set in. Did she want us to _change _one of them, so she wouldn't have to say good-bye? The thought was only fleeting – I knew Bella would never ask for something so selfish. Still, what else could she possibly be so worried about asking of me?

I hadn't been looking at her as my thoughts had been tormenting me, and when I tried to meet her eyes, I found that she was looking away as well. The curiosity was stifling. I was about to plead with her to put me out of my misery, when I noticed her cheeks had returned to my favorite shade of pink. Instinctively, my hand stretched out to touch her face, to feel the heat beneath my icy fingertips.

"You're blushing?" I asked, my curiosity intensifying as my nerves diminished. She wasn't going to ask me for something I couldn't give, just something she was embarrassed to ask for. Perhaps she really _did _want a fancy car, or an expensive ring, and she didn't know how to admit it. When she stayed silent, I urged softly, "Please, Bella, the suspense is painful."

Her only response was to bite her lip, and her fluttering heart only fueled my need to know. "Bella," I nearly begged.

"Well, I'm a little worried... about after," she said, her eyes finally meeting mine.

I felt my fists clench. She wanted to talk about those first few terrible months. Both Alice and Carlisle had encouraged me to be upfront and honest with her. The more she knew, the more prepared she would be. It made sense, in theory, but the idea of discussing the horror of the transformation itself, and the gnawing, aching pain of thirst, was not something I was prepared to talk to her about. I could barely fathom it myself, putting her through all that. I couldn't bear to think of it, but if she wanted to know –

"What has you worried?" I asked, steeling myself to give her whatever answers she felt she needed.

"All of you just seem _so _convinced that the only thing I'm going to be interested in, afterward, is slaughtering everyone in town." I shuddered as I pictured Bella, eyes blazing red, shaking with thirst, and us trying to contain her. "And I'm afraid," she continued, "I'll be so preoccupied with the mayhem that I won't be _me _anymore... and that I won't … I won't _want _you the same way I do now."

I relaxed slightly. If what she was worried about most was her feelings for me, at least I could assure her that, in time, they would return. In fact, I was fairly certain they would return, multiplied. I'd spent decades watching the way vampires love – completely, passionately. When you'd found your mate, not just for one lifetime, but for all eternity, everything was amplified. I was actually looking forward to Bella finally understanding exactly how much I loved her, _lived _for her. My existence would be nothing without her, and I hoped that joining the immortal world would make her see that more clearly.

"Bella, that part doesn't last forever," I promised.

"Edward," she said, sounding frustrated, likely doubting me, though I should be proof enough that the bloodlust doesn't dominate forever. "There's something that I want to do before I'm not human anymore."

I watched her, waiting for the big revelation, the _something _she wanted to do that she was afraid to ask me for. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I felt certain I should already know. Like this was the punchline to a joke everyone knew but me.

Bella sat there, face redder than I'd ever seen it. "Whatever you want," I told her.

"Do you promise?" she asked, eyes still not meeting mine.

That should have been the warning bell going off in my mind, but, fool in love that I was, I answered, "Yes. Tell me what you want, and you can have it."

She was staring intently at me now, looking more frightened than I'd ever seen her, and I'd certainly given her reason to be frightened before. I was baffled, even as she muttered, "You."

"I'm yours," I said, smiling until she turned away from me.

I was about to reach out to lift her chin so her eyes would meet mine again, but the next thing I knew, Bella was shifting her weight. She knelt in front of me, a surge of determination suddenly taking over her face and replacing the blush that had colored it moments before. Her arms were around my neck, her lips pressed firmly against mine, and my thoughts were gone. There was an urgency to her kiss that I'd never felt from her before, a need and a desire that I'd experienced, but had worked very hard to push away.

I knew it frustrated Bella that I only gave her a small fraction of what I was feeling, but there was no other way to keep her safe. If I let myself go the way I wanted to with her, the monster inside might reemerge and take over. I'd long ago put my thirst aside, banished it for fear that it would take my beloved away from me. I thought I'd lost her once, and I'd be _damned _before I lost her again.

Every kiss was a whisper of what I wanted to give, what I wanted to feel. Every touch was tainted by the restraint that was necessary to keep her alive. I could have grabbed hold of her and never let go, but for fear of suffocating her. I wanted to feel more, to feel everything that you're supposed to feel when you're with the one you love, but I couldn't. I _wouldn't_.

But Bella was kissing me wildly, and my insides were screaming, begging to feel more, to no longer be suppressed. Her lips were frantic, passionate against mine, and I felt cheated that I couldn't let myself relax and give in. I felt like I was cheating _her _by not being able to give more. I thought she was giving up, her frustration and disappointment with me too much to take, when she released me from her hold. I was almost relieved as my head started to clear – I'd been too far gone for my own liking. Then her lips were on mine again, still urgent, still pleading, and I felt her burning fingertips trail down my neck. My head still in a fog, I didn't realize what she was doing. The gesture was unfamiliar to me. Unfamiliar and ludicrous. Why, when I was as cold as ice, would she be trying to take my shirt off? Then I froze.

Bella. Was. Taking. My. Shirt. Off.

"Be reasonable, Bella," I said, pushing her away as gently as I could manage, give the circumstances.

"You promised – whatever I wanted." Even she knew that wasn't going to change anything. At least, I thought she knew.

"We're not having this discussion." I hated that my voice sounded so scathing, but I knew as I buttoned my shirt back up that the anger was only at myself, for having allowed it to go on that long. I should have realized. I shouldn't have let her think I we – that I –

My thoughts jumbled as I took in Bella's expression and saw that it was absolute fury. "I say we are," she snapped. Then, to my utter shock, she started trying to take _her _shirt off.

I didn't know what else to say, so I held her hands at her sides, stopping her from going any further, and repeated, "I say we're not."

Oddly enough, this felt like the most stubborn and juvenile conversation we'd ever had with each other. _We are, we are not. _It might have been amusing, except Bella was glaring at me like I was the cruelest person on Earth.

"You wanted to know," she finally muttered, a strange mix of irritation and disappointment.

"I thought it would be something faintly realistic."

"So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing _you _want – like getting _married _– but _I'm _not allowed to even _discuss_ what I – "

I couldn't listen anymore. I couldn't hear her tell me that the _only _thing in the world she wanted was the one thing I couldn't give her. I held both her hands in mine and gently placed my hand over her mouth. "No," I said firmly, though my voice must have conveyed my desperation. Thankfully, she didn't say another word. She stopped trying to unbutton my shirt, and hers, though I sensed we were far from finished discussing this. I sighed, tilting her chin up toward my face so she would look at me. "What now?"

"Nothing," she said, scowling.

When I looked into her eyes, all I expected to find was anger. That was fine, I deserved it – anger I could take – which was what made it so agonizing when I saw something I wasn't expecting. I couldn't put my finger on the emotion bubbling just under the surface, but there were tears filling her eyes, and the blush was returning to her cheeks.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" I asked, bewildered.

"No," she nearly spat. Her eyes shifted down again, and I could see it was taking a great deal of effort not to let the tears spill over. I would never get used to the fact that she didn't seem to know how much I wanted her, in every possible way. Just because I couldn't yet show her exactly how much, I felt it. Of course I felt it. She was everything. In one motion, I pulled Bella to me, pressing her cheek against my shoulder and softly grazing my fingers across the soft skin of her flushed cheeks. How she could ever doubt me, I didn't know, but I hoped the small gesture would comfort her and at least partly fix whatever damage I had done.

"You know why I have to say no," I whispered. "You know that I want you, too."

"Do you?" she argued.

"Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl." It occurred to me then that it wasn't just my desire for her she was doubting – she'd never understood why every boy at school seemed to take an immediate interest in her, why they were fighting for her attention, why they all hated me. I laughed, though I didn't particularly like thinking about the number of people who'd been furious when Bella had taken me back after my long absence. Still, I wanted Bella to understand, and to get over this absurdly inaccurate way she regarded herself.

"Doesn't everyone?" I continued. "I feel like there's a line behind me, jockeying for position, waiting for me to make a big enough mistake... You're too desirable for your own good."

"Who's being silly now?" Her voice was still shaky, frustrated, and completely disbelieving.

"Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose names would be on the top of the list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you." Classmates she barely spoke to, a boy whose name she didn't even know who'd once been paired up with her in gym. Though I'd appreciated his looking out for her, he was almost as annoying as Mike Newton, trying his hand at chivalry in an attempt to keep Bella from getting hurt.

Bella shook her head, clearly not interested in her would-be suitors. "You're just trying to distract me. Let's get back to the subject. Tell me if I have anything wrong. Your demands are marriage," she said, shuddering, "paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn't mind if my vehicle went a little faster." Finally, she lifted her eyes to look at mine. I was very happy to see she was no longer crying. "Did I get everything? That's a hefty list."

"Only the first is a demand," I reminded her. I felt myself beaming once again, as I sensed her wavering – _considering _it. "The others are merely requests."

"And my lone, solitary little demand is – "

"Demand?" I repeated the word, wondering how we'd gone from discussing the impossible, to Bella _demanding _it of me. What was it going to take to convince her I could never let myself risk her safety in such a way?

"Yes, demand," she said, all her nerves seemingly gone. I scrutinized her face, trying to figure out where her sudden confidence had come from. "Getting married is a stretch for me. I'm not giving in unless I get something in return."

So there it was. Bella would marry me, but only if I agreed to put her life in danger first. Perhaps this was all my fault. I'd always wanted Bella to have nothing but confidence in me and my ability to keep her safe. I had no doubt she knew I could stop any dangers that were coming from outside sources, that I would do anything and everything to keep her from ever feeling even the slightest pain again. I loved that she trusted me, but she seemed to be under the delusion that I could trust _myself _if I let my guard down, and that was not the case.

Every moment we were together, I was guarded. If Bella and I were together, _truly _together in every way, I could only begin to imagine how quickly my mind would forget to be careful with her. If all my senses were taken over by desire, and a kind of hunger that was completely new to me, how could she expect me to control my strength, and – though it pained me to even think of what I'd worked so hard to silence – my thirst?

"No," I whispered, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt my own voice shake slightly. I only hoped Bella hadn't noticed. I tried to infuse my next words with more finality. "It's not possible now. Later, when you're less breakable. Be patient, Bella."

"But that's the problem. It won't be the _same _when I'm less breakable. I won't be the same! I don't know _who_ I'll be then."

"You'll still be Bella."

"If I'm so far gone that I'd want to kill Charlie – that I'd drink Jacob's blood or Angela's if I got the chance – how can that be true?"

"It will pass. And I doubt you'll want to drink the dog's blood." I cringed, imagining ever being so desperate with thirst that any of us would stoop to that level. I'd sooner take Bella up on her offer to move to Antarctica and feed on penguins. "Even as a newborn, you'll have better taste than that."

I'd expected Bella to either smile, or be upset with me for making light of things, but I'd underestimated her determination. "But that will always be what I want most, won't it?" she challenged. "Blood, blood, and more blood!"

There was a time when I would have agreed with her, but because of Bella, I'd learned that there was a force even more powerful than thirst. "The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true."

"Over eighty years later," she said, almost pouting. As if the idea of having to wait so long to want me again was unthinkable. In a way, it was flattering. Nevertheless, I wished she could understand that her concept of time was slightly skewed. Things were different when you could see forever stretched out in front of you. The early newborn years were a single grain of sand on an endless beach.

I was about to speak, to argue my case, but something in her expression stopped me in my tracks. There was such desperation, such longing, I lost my words. "What I meant was _physically_, though," she whispered. Somehow, her tone was still pleading. "Intellectually, I know I'll be able to be myself... after a while. But just purely physically – I will always be thirsty, more than anything else."

In her eyes, behind the look of affection I loved so much, I could see her desire for me. I saw what I'd never believed I could have – someone who loved me enough to trust me with their heart, body, and soul. And I wanted to give her everything in return. My heart she knew she had. My soul, if I still had one, was hers long ago as well. There was only one thing she was asking of me, and I still wasn't sure I could give it to her.

"So I _will _be different," she said flatly, misreading my silence. "Because right now, physically, there's nothing I want more than you. More than food or water or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my priorities in a slightly more sensible order. But physically..."

I'd barely noticed that through everything we'd been discussing, we hadn't moved a single inch. My fingers were still resting against her cheek, and in one quick motion, she turned her face so her lips were against my palm. Her warm breath saturated my skin, and I felt my insides twist into inexplicable knots. It was such a simple gesture, nothing particularly out of the ordinary, but somehow, it felt entirely new – new and wonderful. Instinctively, I wanted to weave my fingers into her hair and pull her closer. Unfortunately, that only made me more aware of the inherent problem with what Bella was asking. Every step we took forward from this point on would be new, and every new sensation made me feel less and less in control.

I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself that no matter what we wanted, Bella's safety was the only thing that really mattered. "Bella, I could kill you," I said. I wished my voice had sounded steadier.

"I don't think you could."

Bella's stubbornness was exactly what I needed to get my head back to where it needed to be. I'd spent so long trying to earn her trust, but in this one thing, I couldn't let her forget for a second what I was capable of. Without breaking her gaze, I reached behind me and pulled one of the metal flowers from the bed. As easily as if it were a real flower, I clasped my fingers around it and crumbled it into ash. Anger flashed in Bella's eyes.

"That's not what I meant. I already _know _how strong you are. You didn't have to break the furniture."

"What _did _you mean then?" I searched her face for any trace of the fear that should be there if she really understood what she was asking of me.

"Obviously not that you aren't physically able to hurt me, if you wanted to..." she explained. "More that, you _don't_ want to hurt me... so much so that I don't think that you ever could."

I instantly started shaking my head, ready to deny her, but to a certain extent, she was right. I'd never explained it to her in those exact words, but the agony I'd felt when I'd believed she was dead was like nothing I'd ever experienced. I would have rather taken the fires of my transformation a thousand times over than to feel that again. Since then, the thirst I once thought unquenchable had all but disappeared, and any time I began to feel it, my thoughts quickly reminded me of why I was denying what I wanted physically. Nothing was as important as protecting Bella, especially not my own selfish desires.

Which brought us right back to the subject at hand. I hated myself for having considered, even for a split second, giving in. "It might not work like that, Bella," I protested, as much to myself and to her.

"_Might," _she repeated back to me, picking out perfectly the trace of doubt, and throwing it back at me – _taunting _me. I was standing my ground, though, ready to fight for Bella's safety, even when she was not.

"Exactly. Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?"

Bella was watching me with calculating eyes, like she was trying to read behind my words. I hoped she wasn't still doubting my reasons for saying no. She had to know that refusing her in anything was not easy for me.

"Please," she whispered. "It's all I want. Please." Bella shut her eyes, absolutely desolate. I no longer knew whether or not she was aware of exactly how deeply she was shaking my resolve. All I could think of as I watched her desolate expression was that Bella was asking me for one last human experience – one that she would only ask of me, even if it meant her life was on the line – and I was finding it increasingly difficult to refuse her.

A moment passed and the only sound in the room was our syncopated breathing. Her eyes opened slowly, and she again whispered, "Please?"

I took a deep breath to steady myself, rummaging through my list of reasons not to take such a foolish chance with Bella's safety. It was hard enough to _kiss _her, to touch her face, to hold her in my arms, without momentarily forgetting my own strength. How could I expect to keep myself in check if all my senses were filled with her? To be with her, so adoring yet so vulnerable – what if I couldn't stop myself from needing to be closer, to hold her tighter?

No. _No. _I felt weak, and disgusted with myself. It was positively deplorable that we were even still discussing this. It wasn't a possibility. Not until she was changed. As my last ounce of resolve managed to resurface, Bella said the thing that, deep down, I'd known all along would defeat me.

"You don't have to make any guarantees. If it doesn't work out right, well, then that's that. Just let us _try_... only try. And I'll give you what you want. I'll marry you."

I was certain she was still talking – maybe she was listing off more things she'd be willing to concede on if I gave her this _one _wish. I couldn't hear a word, though. All I'd heard was, _I'll marry you. _

And then, _please._

In a moment of cruel irony, I forgot my strength, and crushed Bella to me. If I hurt her, she didn't complain. I truly was a monster.

"This is unbearable," I whispered in her ear. "So many things I've wanted to give you – and _this _is what you decide to demand. Do you have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way?"

"Then don't refuse." Her voice was so sure, so absolutely confident that this could work, I found I didn't have it in me to argue anymore. "Please," she whispered again, but it was unnecessary. I was already too far gone.

"Bella..." I sighed, brushing my lips across her perfect skin, breathing in her scent until everything inside me ached. I could feel her pressing herself closer to me, and I tried with every last shred of conscious thought to attempt to be gentle with her. She certainly wasn't making it easy, as her lips found mine with a tortured desperation. She was still trying to get me to give in, and all I wanted was to give her everything she desired. I reached up to hold her face in my hands, returning her kiss with all the fervor she was showing me. It was new, and agonizing, and amazing – and I couldn't stop.

An unbidden guest, thirst raked violently at my throat, and the pain I'd tried to escape was making up for its long absence by screaming at me louder than ever. Yet I felt no urge to give in. I felt a small victory as I realized we'd been right about that aspect – my need to protect her would keep the monster at bay. I would never be able to guarantee that I wouldn't accidentally hold her too tightly, or kiss her with too much enthusiasm, but my thirst, at least, still appeared to be in control.

With a new sense of confidence, I smiled as Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, her blazing hot lips caressing my skin as she trembled in my arms. When her lips momentarily parted from mine, I saw that her cheeks were red – flushed with excitement, rather than her usual nervousness or embarrassment. While Bella caught her breath, I scattered kisses across her heated skin, down her neck and across her collarbone. She sighed in contentment as her hands reached down to the buttons of my shirt.

Before I knew it, my shirt was open, and Bella's fingertips were tracing delicate lines on my chest. Not accustomed to the sensation, I was surprised when something almost like a shiver raced through my veins. I felt physically weak for the first time in my very long second life, and I was like a puppet in Bella's hands as she pulled my mouth back to hers. I was barely aware of how tightly I was holding on as I tugged on her waist, pressing her closer. I felt her reach up to her own shirt, and she began fumbling with the buttons.

Without thinking, I opened my eyes and my gaze caught her left hand. The empty spot on her ring finger reminded me of exactly how we'd gotten to this place. Bella had agreed to marry me. _Marry me. _The words rang in my ears, and I was blindsided as it occurred to me that I hadn't even gotten to ask her properly. All this time, I'd been so focused on finding the right words, saying them in the right place at the right time. Now, somehow I was an engaged man who'd still never gotten to really propose. It had all happened so quickly, and I felt my body tense as I realized I'd gone about this all wrong. _Everything _we were doing was going about things all wrong.

In the first moment of clarity I'd felt since Bella had pressed her lips to mine, I remembered where I was, and _when _it was. Bella might have convinced me that it would be possible to _try_, but there was something else that needed to happen first. I wasn't sure Bella would understand – I didn't even know where to begin – but I knew that I wanted to be married to Bella before we went any further.

"Bella," I said softly, my lips to her ear. "Would you _please _stop trying to take your clothes off?"

"Do you want to do that part?" she asked breathlessly.

"Not tonight." I kissed her cheek lightly. I didn't want her to be disappointed, but we just couldn't – at least not yet.

"Edward, don't – " The pained desperation was back in her voice, so I spoke quickly, unable to stand hearing her sadness for another second.

"I'm not saying no. I'm just saying _not tonight._"

I counted three deep breaths before she spoke again. "Give me one good reason why tonight is not as good as any other night."

"I wasn't born yesterday," I said, laughing a little as the tension of the moment dissipated slightly. "Out of the two of us, which do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want?" I'd already been so close to giving in, so close to forgetting everything about the way it _should _be. I didn't want Bella to see how unsettling that fact was to me, though, so I attempted to keep things light. After all, we were still working out the details of our compromise. This time frame, like everything else, should be up for discussion.

"You just promised to marry me before you do any changing," I said, unsuccessfully trying to hide my smile as I said the words, "but if I give in tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won't go running off to Carlisle in the morning? I am – clearly – much less reluctant to give you what you want. Therefore... you first."

She let out an exasperated sigh. "I have to marry you first?"

"That's the deal – take it or leave it. Compromise, remember?" Then, without another word, I picked up where we'd left off before I'd come to my senses, only this time, I was thinking more clearly. I was aware of every shallow breath Bella was taking, and completely conscious of the way her heart was racing as she tangled her fingers in my hair. I almost laughed at myself for not realizing what she was trying to ask of me earlier.

"I think that's a really bad idea," she whispered, her voice shaking.

"I'm not surprised you feel that way," I answering, grinning. "You have a one-track mind."

"How did this happen? I thought I was holding my own tonight – for once – and now, all of a sudden – "

"You're engaged." I couldn't stop the word from tumbling out of my lips. I'd waited so long to say it.

"Ew! _Please_ don't say that out loud."

"Are you going back on your word?" I asked, though her flushed skin made me fairly confident she wasn't. Her heart was racing, and she there was an excitement and a passion in her eyes I'd rarely, if ever, seen. "Are you?" I repeated.

"Ugh! No. I'm not. Are you happy now?"

I'd never felt more ecstatic or more alive. I may not have gotten my romantic proposal, but the fact remained – Bella was going to be my wife. "Exceptionally," I said, my heart feeling like it would somehow find a way to beat again, just to show her how happy she'd made me.

My elation was put on hold as Bella groaned again, and I knew none of this meant anything if it wasn't what she wanted. "Aren't you happy at all?" I asked her, then kissed her, trying to infuse it with all of my joy and excitement. _Please, please, be happy,_ was all I could think.

When my mouth finally parted from hers, I could taste adrenaline in her breath. "A little bit," she admitted, eyes still shut, her tongue unconsciously tracing her lower lip. "But not about getting married," she added, her eyes opening to find me smiling at her again. Her stubbornness was as adorable as usual, and I found myself kissing her again.

"Do you get the feeling that everything is backward?" I whispered, my lips moving to her ear. I loved listening to her racing heartbeat as my cool breath washed over her. "Traditionally, shouldn't you be arguing my side, and I yours?"

"There isn't much that's traditional about you and me."

"True," I agreed, finding it hard to keep myself from kissing her more. Then I remembered, with a rush of enthusiasm, that she was my bride-to-be. I didn't have to stop kissing her. Ever. My fingers traced down her side, raising goosebumps all over her skin. She sighed as my lips scattered kisses across her cheeks, down her throat, to the base of her neck. I inhaled deeply, my nose skimming lightly from one side of her collarbone to the other. It was agony, and it was perfection, and I relished the burn it elicited because it was so completely and extraordinarily _Bella – _and she was mine.

"Look, Edward," she gasped when my lips moved to the palm of her hand. "I said I would marry you, and I will. I promise. I swear. If you want, I'll sign a contract in my own blood."

"Not funny," I muttered, my nose moving to her wrist, where her scent was even more potent. Some might call it masochism, but I couldn't stop myself. Somehow, knowing she was ready to bind herself to me in every way made me that much more desperate to memorize everything about her now, so I could take it all with me after she was changed. We would always have this first life together, and I wanted to be able to tell her everything about it when it was nothing more than a distant human memory to her.

"What I'm saying is this – I'm not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So there's really no reason to wait. We're completely alone – how often does that happen? – and you've provided this very large and comfortable bed..."

"Not tonight," I repeated.

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

With a look of confusion, Bella pushed me away and stared into my eyes. She could see that there was more than I was saying – but how could I explain it right? People today might call it an old-fashioned idea, but to me, it was such a _simple_ idea. If you were lucky enough to find the person that made life worth living, then you wanted to promise them forever. Marriage meant, "I love you, and I will never want anything more than to share my life with you." Then, after you'd made that promise to your love, in front of everyone who mattered in your life, you would seal that promise by giving yourself to them – completely, joyfully, and without a trace of fear.

"Then what's the problem?" she pressed. "It's not like you didn't know you were going to win in the end. You always win," she added glumly.

"Just hedging my bets." I waited, knowing she wouldn't leave it at that, and tried to think of how to best explain it. A hundred years of differences seemed to be staring me in the face. I knew why it couldn't be tonight, but would _she _understand?

"There's something else," she said, scrutinizing my face. "Are _you _planning to go back on your word?"

"No," I promised. She'd already given me a taste of what she wanted – of what _I _wanted as well. And she'd agreed to marry me. There was no going back. Even against my better judgment, I'd made her a vow of my own. "I swear to you, we _will _try. After you marry me."

She shook her head and laughed under her breath, the strangest expression on her face, and I wondered if she'd just put the pieces together. "You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama – twirling my mustache while I try to steal some poor girl's virtue."

I think she was expecting me to laugh along with her, but, although I didn't particularly like her comparing herself to a seedy villain, the analogy was close enough to the truth. Not quite ready to say the words out loud, I resumed what seemed to be a relatively decent distraction – kissing her collarbone.

"That's it, isn't it?" she gasped, undeterred. "You're trying to protect your virtue!" Her eyes widened with shock as her hands reached up to cover her mouth. I could see she was biting back laughter. It wasn't exactly the reaction I'd been expecting.

"No, silly girl," I said, still kissing her shoulder. "I'm trying to protect _yours._ And you're making it shockingly difficult."

"Of all the ridiculous – "

"Let me ask you something," I said, interrupting her. If we were going to have this discussion, I was not going to let it start with her calling it _ridiculous._ I may have been brought up in a different time, but that did not make my beliefs ridiculous – all it meant was that I was trying to hold onto at least _some _of who I used to be. "We've had this discussion before, but humor me. How many people in this room have a soul? A shot at heaven, or whatever there is after this life?"

"Two," she answered without hesitation. It was quite nearly enough to make even me a believer.

"All right. Maybe that's true," I conceded. "Now, there's a world full of dissension about this, but the vast majority seem to think that there are some rules that have to be followed."

"Vampire rules aren't enough for you? You want to worry about the human ones, too?"

"It couldn't hurt," I said, shrugging. I'd been human once, and Bella was human for a little while longer. If Bella and Carlisle ended up being right about our souls, it seemed only right that we should try to follow whatever human rules we could. "Just in case," I added, smiling, though Bella only glared back at me. "Now, of course, it might be too late for me, even if you are right about my soul."

"No, it isn't," she said sharply. Her faith in me was unshakable.

"'Thou shalt not kill' _is _commonly accepted by most major belief systems. And I've killed a lot of people, Bella."

"Only the bad ones."

"Maybe that counts, maybe it doesn't. But you haven't killed anyone – "

"That _you _know about," she mumbled, and I smiled, remembering the way she'd once talked about wanting to run over Tyler with her truck after he'd told everyone he was taking her to the prom.

"And I'm going to do my best to keep you out of temptation's way," I continued.

"Okay. But we weren't fighting over committing murder."

"The same principle applies – the only difference is that this is the one area in which I'm just as spotless as you are. Can't I leave one rule unbroken?"

"One?" she asked, eyebrow raised.

"You know that I've stolen, I've lied, I've coveted... my virtue is all I have left." I smirked, daring her to argue with me. Shouldn't she want to help me keep at least one area of my life unspotted?

"I lie all the time," she argued.

"Yes, but you're such a bad liar that it doesn't really count. No one believes you."

"I really hope you're wrong about that – because otherwise Charlie is about to burst through the door with a loaded gun."

I thought about all the times I'd heard traces of doubt or wariness in Charlie's thoughts, but every time, he seemed to talk himself out of whatever was bothering him. He trusted Bella, to the point that it often made me feel guilty about keeping so much from him. Of course, there would always be things about our world we could never tell Charlie, but at least after Bella and I were married, he would know that she'd chosen me, and we would never have to hide in order to be together.

"Charlie is happier when he pretends to swallow your stories. He'd rather lie to himself than look too closely." I almost added that in the brief time I'd spent with her mother, I'd seen she was the same way, but I was sure Bella already knew.

"But what did you ever covet?" she asked, still watching me with a hint of confusion. "You have everything."

"I coveted you. I had no right to want you – but I reached out and took you anyway." There were times I still couldn't shake the guilt of having taken Bella out of the world where she rightfully belonged, but with her sitting next to me, talking about our future together so calmly, everything just fit so perfectly. How could she belong anywhere else? Of course, her still heated skin and racing heart also helped cement the idea that we belonged together. It had taken me so long to get used to the idea that someone as fragile and perfect as Bella could ever want to be with a monster like me, the notion that we were discussing her wanting _more _seemed almost absurd. I smiled, my voice teasing. "And now look what's become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire."

"You can covet what's already yours," Bella said, her tone absolutely matter of fact. I was still trying to get used to the idea that she considered herself mine long before I allowed myself to believe it. "Besides, I thought it was _my _virtue you were worried about."

"It is. If it's too late for me... Well, I'll be damned – no pun intended – if I'll let them keep you out, too."

"You can't make me go somewhere you won't be," she protested. "That's my definition of hell. Anyway, I have an easy solution to all this; let's never die, all right?"

"Sounds simple enough. Why didn't I think of that?" I smiled as I let her words sink in. Very soon, I wouldn't have to fear for her safety anymore. We would be married, and we would have eternity stretched out before us. For the first time in my second life, the concept of _forever _felt like a gift.

We'd gotten so far off track from where our discussion had started, I wondered what was going through Bella's mind. A few seconds later, she let out a frustrated breath.

"So that's it. You won't sleep with me until we're _married._"

I almost rolled my eyes at her. We'd spoken of marriage and souls, heaven and hell, yet her mind was still very firmly on picking up where I'd stopped her.

"Technically, I can't ever _sleep _with you," I teased.

"Very mature, Edward."

"But, other than that detail, yes, you've got it right."

"I think you have an ulterior motive," she said, accusing.

"Another one?"

"You know this will speed things up."

Surprisingly, I hadn't even thought of it. Bella had said she would marry me, and that was all that mattered at the moment. Now that she'd said it, however, I was wishing I could whisk her away and make my vows tonight.

"There is only one thing I want to speed up, and the rest can wait forever... but for that, it's true, your impatient human hormones are my most powerful ally at this point."

"I can't believe I'm going along with this. When I think of Charlie... and Renee! Can you imagine what Angela will think? Or Jessica? Ugh. I can hear the gossip now."

I looked at her, silently posing the question I didn't quite have the heart to ask aloud. How could she possibly be worried about what her friends would think of her getting married when she had no plans to ever see any of them again? I quickly reminded myself that not caring what anyone thinks is an art that had taken me and my family decades to learn. It made sense that Bella would be worried about appearances – it was a very human reaction, and she was, for the time being, still human.

"It doesn't have to be a big production. I don't need any fanfare. You won't have to tell anyone or make any changes. We'll go to Vegas – you can wear old jeans and we'll go to the chapel with the drive-through window. I just want it to be official – that you belong to me and _no one else._"

"It couldn't be any more official than it already is," she protested.

"We'll see about that." I sincerely hoped that when we did make it official, Bella would stop feeling like marriage was just a piece of paper. I wanted her to feel the power that came with the irrefutable knowledge that we'd vowed to love only each other – that for all eternity, there would never be anything we would want more than to be together. I wanted to believe that her trepidation over the whole concept of marriage truly did have to do with appearances, and that when she was standing beside me, making her vows, she would do so with joy in her heart and love in her eyes.

I spoke my next words carefully, and without a great deal of hope. For all my planning and longing, I still hadn't gotten to actually propose, so I asked, "I suppose you don't want your ring now?"

Her eyes widened nervously, and her heart skipped a beat. "You suppose correctly."

I couldn't help but laugh at my Bella – how many times had I said she feared all the wrong things? "That's fine. I'll get it on your finger soon enough."

Her eyes narrowed. "You talk like you already have one."

"I do," I said, grinning as I pictured my mother's ring on her hand, then added casually, "Ready to force upon you at the first sign of weakness."

"You're unbelievable."

"Do you want to see it?" I asked, realizing that just because she wasn't ready to wear it, didn't mean I couldn't share it with her. Unfortunately, my excitement was quickly shot down.

"No!" she shrieked, managing to further crush my hope that she might someday actually _want _to wear it. My face must have betrayed my disappointment, and she added, halfheartedly, "Unless you really want to show it to me."

"That's all right. It can wait." Maybe, if Bella's impatience didn't send us running off to Vegas, I would have another opportunity to present it to her properly.

She let out a sigh. "Show me the damn ring, Edward." Clearly, she was determined to ruin everything about this moment for me.

"No," I said flatly, shaking my head. I heard a tiny voice in the back of my mind, calling me a fool. Why was I so excited? She'd only agreed to marry me because she wanted something I wasn't willing to give her without it. She didn't like the idea of having to tell her friends or her family. She didn't want to see the ring that meant so much to me – that I so desperately wanted her to have. She'd told me I always win, but if it was all a game to her, could I really call it a victory?

Bella must have seen something in my eyes – something I didn't know how to say out loud – because her expression softened. "Please?" she asked, and I exhaled in disbelief. She was just trying to appease me, I reminded myself. Then, she lifted her hand and brushed her fingers across my cheeks. The tenderness of the gesture was so far from the tense, unyielding posture she'd shown me throughout our whole exchange, I was left baffled. "Please can I see it?" she asked.

I stared into her eyes, searching for any trace of the fear that I knew still lurked behind them, but came up short. She'd managed to push it completely away in her attempt to make me happy. I knew it wasn't what she wanted, I _knew _it wouldn't mean to her what it meant to me. Yet I couldn't stop myself. She was asking to see the ring that now belonged to her, and I could not refuse.

"You are the most dangerous creature I've ever met," I complained, moving quickly to retrieve the ring from where it had been sitting, waiting – relentlessly reminding me of its presence. I sat down beside her, not having the heart to look at her if she cringed when she opened it. I put my arm around Bella – my safe harbor, the only one I would ever want – and placed the small box on her knee.

"Go ahead and look, then," I said, hating that I could hear the bitterness in my own voice. This should have been a different moment, one filled with roses and candles and music. Why had I let her coerce me like this?

Holding my breath, I watched as she touched the box lightly, examining it before she opened it. "You didn't spend a _lot _of money, did you? Lie to me, if you did."

I should have known she would be worried about accepting anything I'd spent money on, and I breathed a short sigh of relief that there was at least one concern I could alleviate. "I didn't spend anything. It's just another hand-me-down. This is the ring my father gave to my mother."

"Oh," she said. As I felt her relax slightly, I allowed myself a bit of excitement again. Her fingers were resting on the lid now, and in her hesitation, I saw another opportunity. It occurred to me that it was the ring's significance that was making her wary, and if I could lighten the mood again, perhaps she would be able to relax even further and actually enjoy seeing it for the first time.

"I suppose it's a little outdated. Old-fashioned, just like me. I can get you something more modern. Something from Tiffany's?" I teased.

Blushing just enough to make my heart soar, she said, "I like old-fashioned things," and then opened the box to reveal my mother's ring. There was a long pause and neither of us spoke or breathed – the silence was heavy around us. I finally found my courage enough to look at Bella's face, and I nearly pulled her into my arms when I saw one side of her mouth curled into a smile. My muscles ached as I forced myself to stay still. She touched the ring like it was made of glass, and whispered, "It's so _pretty_."

"Do you like it?" I asked, my voice thick with emotion that I was completely and utterly unable to hide.

"It's beautiful. What's not to like?" she said, shrugging lightly, but this time, she couldn't convince me. I'd seen the ring's reflection in her glassy eyes. All joking aside, she knew what it meant, and even if she wasn't ready to let me place it on her finger, she knew it belonged to her now, and always.

"See if it fits," I said, unable to resist the urge to see her wearing it, even if only briefly. Her hand clenched and I saw the hesitation return to her eyes. "Bella, I'm not going to solder it to your finger. Just try it on so I can see if it needs to be sized. Then you can take it right off."

"Fine," she sighed. She started to reach for the ring, but there was no way I was letting her put it on herself. I'd gone about everything else so wrong, there was one thing I was determined to get right. I hadn't been able to say the words I'd practiced, Bella hadn't accepted graciously or with any particular amount of enthusiasm, she wouldn't let me even speak the word _engaged – _but I was going to place this ring on her finger.

I heard her take a deep breath in as I slid my mother's ring onto her finger, and when it was in place, I lifted Bella's hand so we could both look at it. If there had ever been a moment I'd been desperate to read her mind, this would have been it.

"A perfect fit," I breathed, trying once again to keep my voice casual. Anything I could do to stop her from ripping it off her finger that very second. I wasn't ready yet. "That's nice," I continued. "Saves me a trip to the jeweler's."

I couldn't take my eyes off of it, though I could feel Bella had turned to stare at me. It really was perfect, like it was meant to be hers. I'm sure it must seem like the most insignificant of details – we'd certainly proved in far more concrete ways that we belonged together – but I couldn't help the intense joy of knowing that nothing about the ring would have to be altered. If Bella would let me, I could leave it there forever.

"You like that, don't you?" she finally asked, moving her hand just slightly so that the dim lights in the room caught every gemstone.

My casual tone was threatening to break away and reveal everything I was feeling, but I fought against it. "Sure," I said, shrugging. "It looks very nice on you."

I think if I'd kept staring at the ring, if I'd resisted the urge to look into the eyes of the woman who would soon be my wife, I could have kept up the pretense a little while longer. Instead, though, I turned to Bella, and when my gaze met hers, I could see our entire future in her eyes. Without fear, I saw her eyes turning golden, her skin becoming pale. I could almost feel what it would be like to touch her skin and not feel the heat I'd grown so accustomed to. I saw Bella, my wife, standing alongside my family. I saw her in the sunlight, skin like diamonds, holding my hand and laughing at some shared secret.

The next thing I knew, my fingers were twined with hers and my lips were moving against her lips as best I could manage through the smile that could no longer be contained. I kissed her nose, her eyelids, then down her cheek until my mouth was at her ear, whispering, "Yes, I like it. You have _no _idea."

Miraculously, my exuberance appeared to have alleviated whatever concerns she still had, and she laughed the most beautiful of laughs. "I believe you."

I wasn't sure whether it was the sound of her laughter, or the sudden but definite joy in her eyes, or the crystal clear visions of what our life together would soon be, but I knew then that I was never going to have another moment as perfect as this to, officially, ask for her hand.

"Do you mind if I do something?" I asked, hugging her tightly, not sure if I'd be able to let go long enough to do this right.

"Anything you want." She must have been as unwilling as I was to end our embrace, because when I let go, she muttered, "Anything but that."

A look of surprise and confusion crossed Bella's face when I pulled her off the bed with me. Considering all that had just transpired, I found it difficult to believe she didn't know what I was doing, although it did make it more enjoyable. I placed my hands on her shoulders, needing to steady myself as much as her.

"Now, I want to do this right. Please, _please_, keep in mind that you've already agreed to this, and don't ruin it for me."

Understanding flickered as I dropped to one knee. "Oh, no," she said.

"Be nice," I pleaded. She must have seen the desperation in my eyes because she took a deep breath.

"Isabella Swan? I promise to love you forever – every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

My hundred years of existence didn't feel as long at that single moment, and no word that had ever been uttered sounded as beautiful as Bella's answer.

"Yes," she whispered, her eyes glowing and adoring.

I didn't know what else to say, so I answered, "Thank you." She'd given me everything. Happiness I didn't think was possible, love I knew I didn't deserve – a friend, a partner, a reason to exist. I kissed each of her fingers before kissing the ring that had been meant for her all along. "Thank you," I tried to whisper again, but nothing came out. For the first time in my long life, emotion had rendered me speechless.


	19. Trails

A/N: Hi, all – hope everyone is wonderful! Quick, light, cathartic chapter before I take on "Fire and Ice." Much thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing, I appreciate you all!

Thanks again to shasta53 for being such an awesome (and fast!) beta!

Trails

It was a different world when Bella woke up the next morning. Although she'd taken off her ring and returned it to me with an uncomfortable half-smile, the fact still remained – Bella was going to be my wife. I hadn't deluded myself into thinking that she was as excited about it as I was, but I considered it a small victory that in her dreams, at least, it seemed she wasn't entirely opposed to the idea.

She had reluctantly fallen asleep as a storm raged outside, and within minutes, she was muttering, "won't understand," and "what do I say?" I smiled and ran my fingers through her hair, happy that I was finally starting to understand her fears.

"It isn't about them, my love," I whispered, letting my lips gently touch her ear. She shivered, and I couldn't help but remember a time not so long ago when she slept without knowing I was with her. I'd barely dared to touch her skin for fear of waking her, and kept myself silent except for the occasional humming of her lullaby to ease her nightmares. Everything had changed the day she'd let me into her life. Now, as I spoke softly, she hugged herself tightly to me and listened, even if only in her subconscious.

"There's nothing else but you and me. I love you, forever, and you've made me happier than I ever thought was possible. Don't worry, Bella. I'm going to spend the rest of my existence making sure you want for nothing."

She sighed, a smile twitching at her lips, and the words, "I love you" came so clearly, I thought she'd woken up. Then she ducked her head into the crook of my arm and fell into a deeper sleep. It wasn't until the storm outside subsided and the faintest glimmer of sunlight hit the walls of my room that she spoke again.

"I see you," she said softly. "Waiting for me." I couldn't explain it – I had no reason to let myself hope – but I felt certain in that moment that she was dreaming of our wedding day. She sighed again and mumbled, "too many flowers,," and I laughed quietly. Now even surer than before of what my Bella was dreaming, I had to play along, just for a few minutes.

"My beautiful bride," I whispered. Even in her sleep, I felt her cringe at the word, but a few seconds later, she relaxed again and nuzzled closer to me.

"Not so bad," she breathed, her chin lifting up toward me until I could see her eyelids fluttering. "Forever is good," was the last thing I heard before she fell silent again. I spent the rest of the morning staring at her with a smile on my face. When she awoke, squinting as she always did when there was light pouring in, I kissed each of her cheeks before touching my lips to hers. She giggled and laced her fingers together behind my neck. Somehow, I felt younger, _newer_ – like I'd been given a fresh start. It was euphoria, and it was all because of her. I wished I could have reveled in the feeling for a while longer, but as the sun was replaced with clouds and the storm picked up again, I could feel her nerves creeping back in.

"You probably need a few human minutes," I said lightly, and she nodded, her eyes not leaving mine. The way she was watching me was almost calculating, like she was trying to figure out some mystery. "I'll make you breakfast," I added, closing the door behind me and hoping some time alone would clear her thoughts.

I stepped into the kitchen and began looking through cupboards. Carlisle kept the house well stocked, not only for Bella, but to keep up appearances. He enjoyed shopping, explaining that it made him feel more normal, and there were many local food banks that were kept in good supply as he endlessly rotated items. He used to keep only the basics, but when Bella had started visiting more frequently, he began paying attention to her favorites. Now I found that I had a wide array of choices, and didn't know where to begin. I must have still been staring at my options when I heard Bella's footsteps behind me.

"You don't need to make me anything fancy. I'm happy with cereal."

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. What would you like this morning?"

She shrugged, smiling as she closed the distance between us. Then she stood on her tiptoes and pulled me down to kiss her. "You," she said, grinning as she released me.

"I'm yours. Always."

I'd said it with nothing but sincerity, but she inexplicably rolled her eyes. I might have questioned it, but instead was just relieved that she appeared to be relaxed again. She tried to pour herself a bowl of cereal, but I stopped her and motioned for her to sit down.

"I told you, I'm making breakfast, even if all you want is cereal."

"Stubborn," she said, though she was smiling.

"You know, one of these days I'm going to start watching the Food Network. I'll shock you by making something truly delicious."

"I can't wait."

I brought the bowl to her, then toasted some bread. When I sat beside her, she twined her fingers with mine and watched me with that same calculating expression. I didn't have the heart to ask what it was about. If she was worried about the fight, there was nothing more I could say to ease her mind. If she was doubting whether she really wanted to marry me, I couldn't bear to hear it. So we sat together, hand in hand, her staring at me, and me trying to simply enjoy the moment for what it was – the first of many mornings spent together in our home.

When my family was a few miles away, I began to hear their mental chatter. Carlisle was pleased with the trip, but wary of what now lay before us. Esme was her usual, pensive self, concerned for her family, but wonderfully optimistic. Jasper and Emmett were anxious to start the fight, and Rose was ready for it to be over. It was Alice I heard last, and she seemed to be the only one not thinking about the fight. Knowing I would be listening, she wasted no time voicing her disapproval.

_This is so unfair, and you _know _it. I only get to do this once, and you're trying to take it all away from me._

It only took me a second to understand what she was referring to, and I didn't want to admit how much it hurt. Of course Alice would have seen Bella running off to Vegas, because that was the only way Bella could imagine actually marrying me. I knew it had been my suggestion, but I couldn't help wishing for something a bit more traditional. Besides, it might not be for decades, or even centuries, but someday, I believed Bella would wish we'd had a real wedding.

_I have the perfect dress, and it's just going to go to waste._

The indignation in her tone momentarily pushed my disappointment aside. I almost laughed when I realized I wasn't sure whether Alice was talking about _her _dress, or the one she'd already designed for Bella. Somehow, Alice was under the impression that this wedding was about her. It almost made me want to run away to Vegas.

"My family is almost home," I told Bella. Then I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed it. "I had a lovely evening with you. I can't wait for this to officially be your home, too."

She smiled as a beautiful blush colored her cheeks, and I kissed her again. Time had passed too quickly, and I wasn't ready to let go of the peace we'd found. The noise of the voices I always heard, as well as the ticking clock that reminded me how close we were to battle, felt deafening. I kissed Bella harder, trying to keep everything else out, but far too soon, I had to let her go. When my family came through the door, their faces were sober yet determined.

Alice was the first one inside, and her eyes were seething. _I didn't tell them yet. I thought it __would be nice to be able to announce a _real _wedding, not this farce you two seem so set on. _I rolled my eyes, trying my best to ignore her as the rest of my family joined us.

"Welcome home," I said in a tone that sounded too formal.

"Thank you," Carlisle said. "We've prepared as best we can. There is nothing left to do now but wait."

"Well, almost nothing," I reminded him.

"Of course." He turned toward Bella then, his voice gentle and kindness in his eyes. "It seems you have a bit of a hike ahead of you."

"From what I hear, I don't really have to worry about the hiking part. I'm more like – along for the ride."

"Yes, that's probably true," he agreed, laughing lightly before turning back to me. "I take it you're all prepared?"

"Just about. There are a few more things to gather, then we'll be meeting Jacob."

Alice scowled, wrinkling her nose. "I _think _– " she said, sneering, "that you're going to want to pack for cold weather, Edward. I can't see where you are exactly, because you're taking off with that _dog _this afternoon. But the storm that's coming seems particularly bad in that general area."

I nodded, figuring as much. The brief moments of sunlight this morning hadn't changed the fact that thick clouds were rolling in, and the wind hadn't let up. It was going to be cold, and I knew no matter how prepared we were, it was going to be a miserable night for Bella.

"It's going to snow on the mountains," she added. _And you'd better pack a first aid kit,_ she added silently. _It doesn't take psychic to know that Bella plus ice will equal the need for bandages._

I ignored Alice's snide remark. Although I _had_ packed the first aid kit.

"Ew, snow," Bella said.

"Wear a jacket," Alice said coldly. _Don't worry, I won't try to pick it out for you or anything._

I tried to hide my smile of amusement, but Alice scowled at me. As long as she didn't say anything to Bella, I didn't mind hearing her internal irritation. Whatever Bella decided was fine, and I would do my best to hide whatever disappointment I might feel if she did end up marrying me in Vegas, wearing jeans and a T-shirt. I wouldn't let her feel any more pressure than she already did.

The next hour was spent finishing packing and making sure we were ready for the night ahead. I'd gathered all our camping equipment that never got used, and tried to think of things to help Bella stay warm through the impending storm. We had a down sleeping bag and a few extra blankets. I suggested buying more at Newton's, but Bella assured me I was already over-prepared. Her face crumpled in disgust as I put dehydrated food in the backpack, but it made the most sense. I silently vowed to learn how to make her a gourmet meal when this was all over.

Alice joined us in the garage and continued her mental tirade, and I just kept packing, not wanting Bella to know anything was wrong.

_This is all your fault, really. You're the one insisting on getting married before you change her. She'll be so much happier once she's one of us, I'm sure she'd let me give her a proper wedding. And you say _Bella _is stubborn._

I continued ignoring Alice, content that she seemed more upset with me than with Bella. When I felt certain I had everything we needed, I handed Bella my phone. "Why don't you call Jacob and tell him we'll be ready for him in an hour or so. He knows where to meet us."

Jacob wasn't home, but we both knew it wouldn't take Billy long to get the message to him. The wolves' mental connection was an extremely useful tool. As Bella finished talking with Billy, I focused my attention on Alice. She was looking wistful, and from the little she was allowing me to hear, it sounded like she was practicing what she wanted to say to Bella to make her change her mind.

"Alice," I growled quietly, my eyes darting toward Bella. She was too engrossed her conversation to notice anything.

"What?" Alice mouthed innocently. _She deserves to know how I feel. I am her sister after all. Besides, I don't know what your problem is. You _want _a big, beautiful wedding, right? With __your family there. Think of Carlisle and Esme. Bella probably hasn't even thought about all the people she'll be disappointing. Maybe if I can make her see that, we'll all get what we want._

Everyone except Bella, that is. I looked at her, nothing but love and concern in her eyes as she talked to Billy. It didn't matter what I wanted, or what Alice wanted. If Bella wanted a ten-minute ceremony without anyone else present, that would be enough for me. More than enough, because it would mean she was mine and I was hers.

I turned back to Alice, glaring, and shook my head. "Don't make her feel guilty," I whispered.

_I'm not. I'm just going to make sure she's thought through all her options._

I was about to argue further, but I felt Bella handing the phone back to me. "Bill said to tell you 'good luck,' " she said.

"That was generous of him." I gave Alice one last pleading look before I turned away, but she was wasting no time.

"Bella, could I please speak to you alone?" she asked.

"You're about to make my life harder than it needs to be, Alice. I'd really rather you didn't."

"This isn't about you, Edward," she snapped, and I couldn't help but laugh. How foolish of me to think my wedding was about _me. _

"It's not," Alice repeated. "This is a female thing."

I glared at her, but Bella said, "Let her talk to me."

"You asked for it," I said, shaking my head. As I walked past Alice, I muttered, "This is all on you now. I take no responsibility."

She giggled and clapped her hands as I shut the door behind me. I probably should have let them talk in private – or as private as any conversation can be in our house – but I needed to hear Bella's response first-hand, rather than through Alice's thoughts. If she agreed to go along with Alice's elaborate plans, I wanted to make sure it was for the right reasons, and not because she was feeling guilty. She didn't owe any of us anything more than the love and trust she'd already shown time and again.

I waited outside while Alice said all the things I wished she wouldn't say.

"Don't you love me?" she pleaded. "Please, Bella, please – if you really love me . . . Please let me do your wedding."I almost ran back into the garage when I heard, "I'll bet Edward would like it better if you did this traditionally, though he'd never tell you that," but I couldn't make myself stop her. She was right, on both counts. It was what I wanted, and I wouldn't ever tell Bella how much it meant to me.

"Please?" Alice repeated, over and over.

"I'll never, never ever forgive you for this, Alice," Bella said, defeated.

Then, through Alice's eyes, I saw the wedding Alice had been planning so long. The dress she'd designed for Bella – one that belonged in a different century, _my _century – and Bella, radiant and perfect, descending our staircase with flowers in her hair.

"Yay!" Alice shouted, breaking me away from the vision too soon.

"That's _not _a yes!" Bella argued.

"But it will be," she chirped.

"Edward!" Bella yelled, and my momentary happiness at seeing everything I'd longed for disappeared. "I know you're listening. Get over here." The dismay I heard in her voice reminded me that she was my first priority, her happiness the only that that mattered. Clearly Alice had no such concerns, as she clapped giddily behind Bella.

"Thanks so much, Alice," I said coldly. When Bella's eyes met mine, they were red and glassy, like she was nearly crying. How could Alice have kept pressuring her when it was upsetting her so much? Bella threw her arms around my neck and squeezed with all her strength.

"Vegas," I reminded her, wishing we had time to go right now, so all this would be done with.

"Not a chance," Alice said. "Bella would never do that to me. You know, Edward, as a brother, you are sometimes a disappointment."

"Don't be mean," Bella chided. "He's trying to make me happy, unlike you."

"I'm trying to make you happy, too, Bella. It's just that I know better what will make you happy . . . in the long run. You'll thank me for this. Maybe not for fifty years, but definitely someday."

"I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be willing to take a bet against you, Alice, but it has arrived."

She laughed lightly, the whole situation amusing her now that she saw it going the way she wanted. "So, are you going to show me the ring?"

Before either Bella or I could stop her, she grabbed Bella's hand, scrutinized the place where her ring should be, then dropped it. "Huh. I saw him put it on you . . . Did I miss something?" She closed her eyes for a moment, a sea of wedding images filling her mind once more. I tried to remind myself it wasn't what Bella wanted, but it was hard to believe when Alice could see it all so clearly. In every vision, Bella was positively beaming. "No. Wedding's still on," she said, her eyes focusing on Bella's empty ring finger again.

"Bella has issues with jewelry," I said casually, not wanting Bella to feel bad. She could wear it whenever she was ready.

"What's one more diamond? Well, I guess the ring has lots of diamonds, but my point is that he's already got one on – "

"Enough, Alice!" I snarled. From the corner of my eye, I could see Bella's mouth open in surprise. I couldn't tell whether it was because she'd understood what Alice had meant or because of the way I'd just snapped. I quickly regained composure and said quietly, "We're in a hurry."

"I don't understand. What's this about diamonds?" Bella asked.

"We'll talk about it later," Alice said, and I shot her a glace that said, _we will not be talking about this later_, which she promptly ignored. "Edward is right – you'd better get going. You've got to set a trap and make camp before the storm comes."

Though her thoughts were filled with uncertainty due to the wolves' presence, Alice began seeing visions of snow clouds rolling in. She saw Bella shivering, miserable as she wrapped her arms around her chest. Of course there would be nothing I could do for her – I was as icy as the snow that would be falling around her. The best I could do was pack for the weather, and get her inside the tent before the worst of the storm hit.

"Don't forget your coat, Bella," Alice told her, her eyes flickering to mine for a split second. "It seems . . . unseasonably cold."

"I've already got it," I promised.

_Such a horrible night for her to be up there, _ she thought dismally, though she smiled at Bella and told her, "Have a nice night."

When Alice had left, Bella looked at me expectantly. "Are are ready for this?" she asked in a whisper.

"As ready as I can be, given the circumstances. You'll be in the safest place possible, far away from the fight – but first we need to make sure the newborns are crazy with your scent."

"If that's all I can do to help – " she said, looking down, almost embarrassed.

"It's perfect. It's exactly what we need to make sure they follow the path we want them to."

She smiled reluctantly and leaned down to pick up her backpack. Before her fingers could touch it, however, it was over my shoulders and she was in my arms. Her smile grew wider as she lifted her chin up to kiss me. A moment later, we were flying through the trees. I took a different, longer route than our usual one, careful not to let her scent drift anywhere near the path she would be taking later. When we reached the clearing, I set her down, reveling for a moment in the way her fingers gripped my collar, not wanting to let go. I gave her a reassuring look as I released her, hoping she knew I would always rather keep her in my arms.

"All right," I said. "Just walk north for a ways, touching as much as you can. Alice gave me a clear picture of their path, and it won't take long for us to intersect it."

"North?" she repeated, and I smiled as I motioned in the direction. She walked slowly and determinedly, touching trees, rocks, the grass – everything in her path. Every few steps, she would glance in my direction, and I nodded encouragingly. I could already picture the frenzied eyes of the newborns when they caught the scent they'd been obsessed with. I was proud of her strength, and her desire to help in whatever way possible, but still, it was difficult – almost _painful _– to think of the newborns tracking her that way. It reminded me too much of another tracker who had almost cost me my reason for existing.

"Am I doing this right?" she asked, her hands tracing a path along a fallen, moss-covered tree.

"Perfectly," I assured her.

Her face lit up as she called, "Will this help?" Then I watched in fascination as she pulled our several hairs and left them trailing across a row of ferns.

"Yes, that does make the trail stronger. But you don't need to pull your hair out, Bella. It will be fine."

"I've for a few extras I can spare," she said. Her mood had gotten so much brighter, I didn't argue with her any further.

Bella continued her slow walk through the brush, tracing branches with her fingers and leaving hairs wherever she thought the wind wouldn't carry them away. Though I could tell she was still happy with the progress she was making and the help she was able to offer, something in her expression was off. Her eyes were distant and unfocused, and something told me it wasn't concern about the fight that was troubling her.

"You don't need to let Alice have her way, you know," I offered, and the slight jump of her heart told me I'd guessed right.

"Don't worry about it, Edward," she said, trying to sound nonchalant. "I'm not going to leave you at the altar, regardless."

"That's not what I'm worried about," I promised. "I want this to be what you want it to be."

Bella took a deep breath, and I could hear the words she wouldn't utter. None of this was what she wanted, but, as always, she would go along with whatever would make everyone else happy. I wanted to tell her that the moment the fight was over, she and I would disappear. We'd go somewhere, _anywhere_, as long as we were together. We could get married on some far away island and she wouldn't have to tell a soul. I wanted to make her happy – but I also wanted everything Alice had seen.

I wanted Bella in a beautiful gown, with flowers in her hair and all around her. I wanted her parents there to see her joy, because, although they would never know the magnitude of what choosing me_ – _of choosing this _life_ – meant, they should know that their daughter was marrying someone who loves her more than anything. I wanted them to know I would always take care of her. I wanted Esme and Carlise to witness the moment when Bella would officially join our family, and to welcome her with open arms. I wanted to shout to the world that, although I deserved none of it, I was getting everything I could ever ask for and more.

I wanted it all, but because I loved Bella more than my own life, I admitted none of it.

"Well," I said, infusing my tone with as much casual indifference as I could muster, "even if she does get her way, we can keep it small. Just us. Emmett can get a clerical license off the Internet."

She laughed, and I knew with even more certainty that the only thing I cared about was making her happy. "That does sound better," she said.

"See. There's always a compromise."

I watched as she continued making a trail, and it wasn't long before I could hear Jacob's thoughts in the distance. I was surprised to hear him thinking about the night ahead as much as I was. He was planning on staying with us so we could communicate with the rest of the group, and Seth would take his place just before the fight. I wasn't thrilled with the idea, but I was glad he was giving Seth the chance to rest tonight. I wanted Seth at his best tomorrow, since he was our only connection to the fight.

Jacob wasn't far, and would be at the clearing shortly. He was running in his wolf form, but had decided to arrive human. Though he was surprised and delighted at the easy way Bella appeared to accept him as a wolf, he'd never really gotten over the fear that he would scare her. He kept waiting for her to be frightened at the monster he was. I laughed under my breath, because for once, I understood exactly how he felt.

When we arrived at the place Alice saw as our most advantageous position for the fight, Bella made one last circle, touching everything in her path, and then we began the return trip. I tried to let Bella lead – oddly enough, she seemed to be almost enjoying herself – but a few times, I could tell she was feeling lost. Once she saw the place where we'd begun our journey, her pace sped up, and I was about to remind her to be careful, but I was too late. Before I had time to catch her, Bella was in a heap on the ground. I smelled her blood instantly.

"Ouch!" she called out, then mumbled, "oh, fabulous."

"Are you all right?"I asked without moving. It only took a moment to realize that I was hesitating more out of habit than any other reason, and I felt a wave of relief.

"I'm fine. Stay where you are," she answered quickly. "I'm bleeding. It will stop in a minute."

I felt triumphant as I flew to her side, grateful that I could finally help her instead of having to hold my breath and shy away. "I've got a first aid kid," I told her, reaching into the backpack. "I had a feeling I might need it."

"It's not bad. I can take care of it – you don't have to make yourself uncomfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable," I promised, ecstatic that it was the truth. "Here – let me clean it."

"Wait a second, I just got another idea," she said, her eyes lighting up in with a strange excitement as she pressed her bleeding palm against a rock.

"What are you doing?"

"Jasper will _love _this," she said, hurrying to touch everything she could. "I'll bet this really gets them going."

She misread my sigh and looked at me apologetically. "Hold your breath," she suggested.

"I'm fine. I just think you're going overboard."

"This is all I get to do. I want to do a good job."

I remembered with far too much clarity how quickly Jasper had lost control when she'd shed only a few small drops of blood. This much was sure to leave the newborns crazed and unable to think about anything but finding her – which made me more than a little apprehensive. Though I hated how she would have to get there, I was grateful in that moment that Jacob's stench would be covering her trail to our location.

"Well, you have," I told her, attempting a smile. "The newborns will be frantic, and Jasper will be very impressed with your dedication. Now let me treat you hand – you've gotten the cut dirty."

"Let me do it, please."

I smiled as I took her hand, and felt a surge of pride as I was able to say with total confidence, "This doesn't bother me anymore."

She watched me quizzically as I tended to her wound, and I felt my grin widen. I knew my instinct to protect her had grown exponentially stronger after I thought I'd lost her, and I found that in the times when I did feel some twinges of blood lust, it was almost immediately replaced by fear that I could somehow hurt her. I'd felt how greatly things had changed, yet in this circumstance, with her all but flaunting her blood – which still sang to me like no other – it was a very satisfying feeling to know there wasn't even a hint of temptation.

Her palm was clean, and as I finished wrapping the bandage around it when she finally asked, "Why not?"

Not sure how best to describe it – after all, it should be an impossibility – I simply shrugged. "I got over it."

"You . . . _got over it?_" she gasped. "When? How?"

As much as I hated to think about that dark day, the longest of my endless life, I owed her the best explanation I could manage. I thought back to how it had felt – the moment when I'd first learned what Alice had seen, and then when Jacob said the words that seemingly confirmed my worst fears. I felt almost numb as I remembered how my vision had clouded and my heart sank. There was an emptiness within me I'd never felt, and I could think of nothing other than, _I can't exist without her. _

When she came to me again, when she'd saved me in every way, it was almost enough to make me believe I still had a soul. Something far beyond my body or my mind was reaching out to her, embracing her. I felt a shift in the essence of my being, and it changed everything about the way I viewed the world. I'd been granted a reprieve, a second chance I shouldn't have been allowed, and what came of it was more than my simply making another vow to protect Bella.

All of the deplorable instincts I'd fought for so long shut down. I was thirstier than I'd ever been, having nearly starved myself in the weeks before, yet I felt no ache or burn when she was wrapped in my arms. There was only joy. And when the burn did return, as always it must, I silenced it with a vehemence that came from somewhere in my subconscious. My need to protect her from everything, including myself, had taken on a life of its own.

"I lived through an entire twenty-four hours thinking that you were dead, Bella. That changed the way I look at a lot of things."

"Did it change the way I smell to you?" she asked, still confused.

"Not at all. But . . . having experienced the way it feels to think I've lost you... my reactions have changed. My entire being shies away from any course that could inspire that kind of pain again."

I wasn't sure if I was explaining it right, but her expression conveyed something close to gratitude. Truly, I was grateful above all else, so I hoped that meant she understood. "I guess that you could call it a very educational experience."

She looked like she wanted to say more, but the wind picked up and I saw her shiver. I retrieved her heavier jacket and helped her into it. "All right. You've done your part. Now it's out of our hands. Let's go camping!"

She laughed at my sarcasm, and I gently took her hand in mine, wishing we had just a few more minutes together before I had to leave her in Jacob's care. I'd been carefully tuning him out since I'd first heard his approach, but at the sight of us together, his internal monologue grew too loud to ignore.

_For him thinking he's such a great protector, she sure does get hurt a lot, _he thought icily, staring at her bandaged hand.

"Where are we meeting Jacob?" Bella asked, not having spotted him yet.

"Right here."

Jacob stepped slowly out from the trees until he was in full view. _Don't know why I bothered, _he thought, irritated as he bunched up the jacket he carried. _Of course the psychic knew it __was going to be cold. Should have just left it in the forest._

It would never cease to amaze me, Jacob's ability to get caught up on such petty things as whose jacket Bella would wear, when there was so many more important things going on. His juvenile concerns did not make me feel confident about the important task he was about to take on.

"There had to have been a better way to do this."

"Too late now," Bella sighed, squeezing my hand. Then she put on her best smile, one that I recognized as taking a great deal of effort. "Hey, Jake," she said casually.

"Hi, Bella."

"Hello, Jacob," I said calmly.

_Yeah, whatever. _"Where do I take her?"

I took out the map showing our destination, and handed it to Jacob. "We're here now," I said, gesturing to our location. Jacob recoiled, staring at my hand in disgust, like vampirism was a disease he could catch. I didn't give him the satisfaction of a response. "And you're taking her up here," I explained, tracing the route to the top. "Roughly nine miles."

Outwardly, Jacob nodded, the picture of compliance, but I could hear fleeting thoughts of taking Bella somewhere else entirely so _he_ could protect her. If it weren't for his compulsive need to fight and destroy, I might have worried he would act on the notion.

"When you're about a mile away, you should cross my path. That will lead you in. Do you need the map?"

Jacob glanced at me for a split second and I knew he could tell by my tone that I'd heard what he was considering. "No, thanks," he said flatly. "I know this area pretty well. I think I know where I'm going." _I'm not going to kidnap her. I wouldn't miss this fight for anything._

"I'll take a longer route. And I'll see you in a few hours." Then I turned to Bella and tried to find the courage to leave. I didn't want her with Jacob, even knowing he would bring her safely to me. Our enemies were so close now, it seemed wrong for us not to be together.

"See you," she said softly, and I knew I had no choice. We needed Jacob's stench to cover up the trail. I left without another word, fearing that I might say something to make Bella feel badly. This was our only option, and I wouldn't let her worry about how much it was upsetting me.

I ran as fast as I could, determined not to listen in on their conversation. The farther away I was, the harder it was to hear Jacob's thoughts. For the first few miles, I filled my mind with everything from foreign languages, to songs, to poetry. As I struggled to keep everything around me out, I started to laugh – this must be what Alice felt like when trying to block me from reading her mind.

When I was far enough away, I let my thoughts clear and was happy to find my mind silent. I tried to enjoy it, but the quiet didn't feel nearly as peaceful as it had the night before, when Bella had been beside me. Now, the sounds of the trees rustling and the wind around me, just reminded me that I was alone.

It was amazing how much the world had changed since finding Bella. There was a time when I would have given anything to retreat to a silent sanctuary like that, to get away from the chatter and the internal angst of everyone around me. Now, all I wanted was to be with Bella, and wherever she wanted us to spend our life, whatever she wanted to do, that was fine. I would go to Alaska to help her avoid temptation. I would endure decade after decade of repeating high school or college or anything else that made her happy. Though I had to admit, a few years alone together in some remote location, away from humans, and even my family – simply _away – _that had possibilities.

It was dangerous to let my imagination get away from me when there was so much at stake over the next twenty-four hours. I continued in my hurried pace until I reached the place we would be setting up the camp site. The chill in the air was getting harder to ignore, and as the wind started to pick up, I could see the snow beginning to fall. I set up the tent, then secured it until I was certain wild grizzlies couldn't knock it down. Perhaps I'd gone a bit overboard, but only time would tell how violent the elements would be tonight, and I preferred to err on the side of caution.

In my struggled not to think about where Jacob and Bella were, and what they were talking about, I let my thoughts drift somewhere I'd purposely been ignoring – the fight. My family wasn't upset by my decision to stay with Bella, and they were no less certain of a victory than they'd been when I was planning to fight with them. Still, it didn't make the choice any easier. Although I felt confident things would all go as planned, there was something nagging at the back of my mind, almost as if we were missing something extraordinarily obvious that would change everything. Perhaps it was the simple fact that, while I was grateful for the connection Seth would be able to give us to the pack, I never imagined I would be watching the fight helplessly, through the eyes of a wolf.

I didn't know how long I'd let my mind wander, but sooner than I'd expected, I could hear Jacob's thoughts.

_Just give it a rest, Bella. Please, not now. This is _so _not something I wanted to be talking about today._

I'd made such an effort not to listen in, but curiosity started to get the better of me. I had to know what Bella was discussing that would make him so frustrated.

"Well, if it's about the lineage . . . shouldn't you be the chief, then?" Bella was asking. Jacob then proceeded to talk around the fact that he had, in fact, shirked responsibility, and let Sam take his place as leader of the pack.

I supposed I had no right to judge – it was a huge responsibility, one that I'm not sure I would ever have stepped up to. I often thought about what Carlisle did for our family, the decisions he made, and I don't know whether I would have had that kind of strength. Sam had many of the same obligations, teaching the new wolves what he knew and helping them transition. He also had the overwhelming responsibility of making certain orders irrefutable. It would be a difficult thing to do – deciding when it was best to command with that kind of authority, not to leave anything to chance.

I tried to ignore the remainder of Bella and Jacob's conversation, but it was impossible not to hear the air of wonderment in Bella's voice when she tried out the words, "Chief Jacob." I busied myself with checking the tent for probably the dozenth time, then took to pacing. There was nothing left for me to do, and with the snow blustering around me, all I could think about was getting Bella under shelter. Just when I thought I wouldn't be able to stand the wait any longer, I heard Jacob's footsteps.

"Bella!" I cried when they stepped into sight, and I flew to her side. Jacob muttered something, his thoughts even more impolite than what he was letting show on his face, but I couldn't bring myself to care. My arms wound tightly around Bella, and the world was right again.

"Thank you," I said, looking at Jacob, unable to feel anything but gratitude. "That was quicker than I expected, and I truly appreciate it."

_It wasn't for your benefit,_ he thought, shrugging absently. "Get her inside. This is going to be bad – my hair's standing up on my scalp. Is that tent secure?"

"I all but welded it to the rock."

"Good." Jacob lifted his eyes to the storm, breathing it in as if he could feel exactly how rough this was going to get.

_I'm sure you already know I'm staying tonight, since you never seem to be able to stay out of my head. I don't like it any more than you, but you need to be able to stay in touch with everyone. Speaking of which – _

"I'm going to change," he said, looking only at Bella. "I want to know what's going on back home."

He walked away, muttering things I would never repeat to Bella. I looked at her in time to see the forlorn expression she quickly tried to hide, and though she'd never say it to me, I knew what she wanted.

He'd never agree to it like I had, and quite possibly, she would never ask, but I knew Bella wanted Jacob to stay out of the fight too.


	20. Fire and Ice

A/N: Here it is, folks... so sorry for the delay. Things have been hectic around here, to say the least. Between "real world" work, my baby girl's first birthday, and flitting around Forks for Bella's birthday bash (_that _was truly escapism at its finest...), it's been hard to find a minute to myself. Hope everyone enjoys, and that it's worth the wait. We're nearing the end *** **sniffle** *, **only five chapters to go after this! Take care. Sparkly vampire hugs to you all.

PS: Hehehe... my team won the Twilight trivia challenge in Forks. By a lot. =)

Fire and Ice

We got settled into the tent as quickly as possible, and it wasn't long before the lightly falling snow began coming down in blustering swirls around us. Bella buried herself inside her sleeping bag, every layer of clothing she'd brought with her already on. As the darkness set it, her teeth began chattering, and I wanted nothing more than to hold her and comfort her. Of course, that would have done far more damage than good, so I instead banished myself to the opposite side of the tent, willing the seconds to tick by faster.

Jacob was pacing outside, sending less than pleasant thoughts at me every other second, which wasn't helping my mood any. I kept hoping Bella would fall asleep, so the morning could come that much sooner for her, but around midnight, I realized she was far too cold. She'd never be able to relax enough to sleep, and I was feeling more guilty with each passing moment.

"This was a mistake," I muttered.

"You d-d-d-didn't know."

"I should have. Is there anything I can do?"

"N-n-n-no."

I shook my head, wishing I'd brought more blankets, or a space heater. _Anything. _She was quiet again, though I knew she wasn't sleeping.

"Are you sure you don't want me to run us back home?" I asked for probably the hundredth time.

"No. C-c-c-c-can't go outside. W-w-worse."

"I could get us there so quickly, Bella. Then you'd be warm." Jacob snarled complaints at me from outside the tent, and I heard the absurdity of my words. The faster I ran, the colder she would be. She'd be completely frozen, and in agony by the time we got back.

"No," she repeated. After awhile, the wind picked up again, and she asked helplessly, "W-w-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-time is it?"

"Two." I could hear her teeth banging together as her body convulsed with violent chills.

"Maybe . . ."

"No, I'm f-f-f-f-f-fine, r-r-r-really. I don't w-w-w-want to g-go outside."

"What can I do?" I asked futilely. Unable to form the words, she shook her head.

_She's gonna freeze to death. How could you have let her come up here like this? Didn't your psychic see how bad it was gonna be? This is ridiculous!_ Jacob's thoughts were screaming at me, making me more miserable than I already was. Alice hadn't known it was going to be this bad, because _Jacob _had hindered her vision, I reminded myself. Try as I might, though, I couldn't see any of this as his fault. It was my idea, and I, solely, was to blame.

"G-g-g-get out of h-h-h-ere," Bella called to Jacob, her voice shaking and raspy.

"He's just worried about you," I assured her. "He's fine. _His _body is equipped to deal with this."

"H-h-h-h-h-h." I could only guess that Bella's attempt at speech was another plea for Jacob to leave, though we both knew he would do no such thing.

_That's it, bloodsucker. Game over. We can lay new tracks in the morning, but you've got to get her out of this – now!_

"What do you want me to do?" I snapped, no longer able to ignore him. "Carry her through _that?_ I don't see you making yourself useful. Why don't you go fetch a space heater or something?"

_I'm a wolf, not a dog, you filthy leech! And I will not be _fetching_ anything!_

I rolled my eyes as Bella argued, "I'm ok-k-k-k-k-k-_kay._" Jacob and I groaned in unison.

_Fine, if you won't do anything to help her, than I'm stepping in. And I'd just _love _to see you try to stop me._

Jacob's thoughts blurred, and I fought to get a clear glimpse of exactly what he was planning. The only thing I was certain of was that I was not going to like it. It wasn't until he howled loudly into the freezing night air that I heard exactly what he was thinking.

_Seth! Sorry man, but your duties are starting a day early. Get here as fast as you can, I'm going to go help Bella get warm. Seems her little ice-cube of a boyfriend is at a bit of a loss._

"That was hardly necessary," I mumbled, then called, a little more loudly, "and that's the worst idea I've ever heard."

A moment later, Jacob was human again, and about to let himself inside the tent. I wasn't sure I had the patience for that.

"Better than anything you've come up with," he said callously, fumbling for the zipper. "_Go fetch a space heater. _I'm not a St. Bernard."

Once he'd managed to get the tent door open, he hurried inside, coat clutched to his side. I didn't see what good it could possible do when it was frozen solid, but then again, Jacob was probably thinking about as clearly as I was at the moment.

"I don't like this. Just give her the coat and get out," I snarled, knowing full well his intentions had nothing to do with Bella putting on _more _clothes.

Bella shivered again, an unintelligible "W-w-w-w-w-w" all she was able to mutter.

"The parka's for tomorrow – she's too cold to warm it up by herself. It's frozen." _Don't be an idiot. You know why I'm in here._

Of course I did – but I could still hope, right?

"You said she needed a space heater, and here I am," Jacob pronounced, opening his arms like he was declaring himself some kind of saint. I could hear that it was genuine concern for Bella that had prompted him to join us, but beneath the supposed altruism, I also heard how badly he wanted to hold her in his arms, no matter what the reason.

Even with her eyes half-closed against the bitter cold, Bella knew exactly what he was suggesting. "J-J-J-J-Jake, you'll f-f-f-freez-z-z-ze," she chided.

"Not me. I run at a toasty one-oh-eight point nine these days. I'll have you sweating in no time." _And you can thank me later, however you see fit_, he added silently, testing my last ounce of my patience.

A growl ripped through my chest before I could stop it, but Jacob knew I wouldn't keep him from helping Bella. I needed her to be warm – to get through this miserable night – so Jacob continued to torment me. He unzipped Bella's sleeping bag, adding, for my ears only, _This night might not turn out so bad after all. Don't know why I didn't think of this sooner._

My body moved instinctively, and Jacob's shoulder was in my grasp, my fingers gripping tightly enough to snap a human in half. Of course, Jacob was almost as far from human as I was, and his only concern with my impulsive gesture was that I was touching him at all. His revulsion was so strong, so instantaneous, his mind couldn't even come up with a proper insult.

"Get your hand off of me," he spat.

"Keep your hands off of her," I responded, my voice flat. My hand clenched more tightly, refusing to let go.

My tone snapped him back to his normal, immature self, and his lip curled up into a smirk. _How am I supposed to warm her up without touching her? I mean, technically, I guess I don't have to touch her with my _hands . . .

Then, he silently showed me exactly how he'd like to keep her warm. His imagination was far too vivid, and I felt my muscles twitch with the desire to break him in half. I was about one second from removing him from the tent – permanently – when Bella begged, "D-d-d-don't f-f-f-f-fight."

We both watched in agony as Bella shuddered and convulsed with another wave of cold.

"I'm sure she'll thank you for this when her toes turn black and drop off," Jacob shouted. _You can hate me all you want, but this is one thing I can do for her that you can't. Just, please, will you let me help her? Please?_

It was the most sincerely he'd ever spoken to me, even if he hadn't been able to say the words out loud. I could tell it was taking a great deal of effort to be so polite. Hesitantly, I took my hand off his shoulder, and it wasn't until he breathed a sigh of relief that I realized I had actually been hurting him. He'd done a very good job of hiding it, even in his thoughts, and I wondered how much pain the wolves had gotten used to since their first transformation.

I had almost started to feel a twinge of sympathy for him when he reminded me that there really wasn't a point.

_That's more like it, leech. Now, unless you want a front row seat to the show, I suggest you move back to your corner. The farther away, the better. For everyone's sake._

I glared at him as I backed away slowly, unsure of what I might do if he didn't at least _start _to keep his thoughts to himself. "Watch yourself," I warned, but Jacob only laughed.

_Oh, I'm pretty sure it's you who'll be doing all the watching. Me, I'm just going to enjoy my own little view. _He couldn't stop himself from laughing out loud, and I watched Bella's confused expression as he told her, "Scoot over, Bella."

Her eyes widened as she realized what he was doing. "N-n-n-n-n," she stuttered. Her stubborn refusal actually made me grin – something I thought would be impossible until the fight was over and things could go back to normal.

"Don't be stupid," Jacob told her, and I rolled my eyes. At least I knew he wouldn't get anywhere with flattery. "Don't you _like _having ten toes?"

She looked like she was going to attempt another protest, but then Jacob slid down beside her and zipped the sleeping bag around them. It was impossible to deny the relief I felt when Bella's face relaxed. I could bear one night of Jacob if it meant she wouldn't have to suffer any more. She shuddered again, but this time, I could tell she was just shaking off the last chill. Jacob hugged her close to his body, and I couldn't make myself be upset about it. Bella was warm and safe, and if watching them together for a few hours was the price I had to pay for that, I couldn't complain.

"Jeez, you're freezing, Bella," Jacob said.

"S-s-s-s-sorry."

"Try to relax. You'll be warm in a minute. Of course, you'd warm up faster if you took your clothes off."

Okay, maybe I could complain a little. I growled at him, but he didn't even look up. He knew, now, that he would be with her all night. Nothing could make me take away the comfort and relief he was giving Bella.

"That's just a simple fact," he said dryly. "Survival one-oh-one."

"C-c-cut it out, Jake," Bella said. "N-n-n-nobody really n-n-n-n-needs all ten t-t-t-toes."

"Don't worry about the bloodsucker," he said, nuzzling closer to her. _Warm, soft, perfect . . . _"He's just jealous."

"Of course I am," I admitted, frustrated. "You don't have the faintest idea how much I wish I could do what you're doing for her, mongrel."

"Those are the breaks." He was trying to sound nonchalant, but he couldn't hide from me. His mind was racing.

_ Where does he get off? He thinks _I _don't have any idea what it feels like, not being able to help her and look after her? He gets to be with her all the time. I get this one night, and _I'm_ the one who doesn't understand how hard it is? It's not like she even wants me here, other than to keep her warm. If I tried this any other night, she'd be kicking me in the shins. _

"At least you know she wished it was you," he finally said, sparing me the quickest of glances.

"True," I answered as simply as I could manage. I wasn't juvenile enough to gloat, though a little voice in the back of mind wanted to.

_Her heart rate and her breathing are starting to sound normal again. But I guess you probably already know that._

I smiled wryly, though I didn't think he was looking at me anymore.

"There," he told Bella. He was trying to sound confident, but I knew he'd been worried about her. He was as happy as I was that she'd stopped shaking. "Feeling better?"

"Yes."

"Your lips are still blue. Want me to warm those up for you, too? You only have to ask."

I let out a deep sigh. It was going to be a very long night.

"Behave yourself," Bella warned him.

_She's still so freezing, _he thought, jumping slightly. I tried not to think too hard about where Bella was putting her hands. A moment later, I saw the bottom of the sleeping bag shift and ruffle, then Jacob flinched again. _Freezing, _he repeated, this time adding, _but worth it._

Jacob pressed his cheek against the side of Bella's head, and I heard her sigh. He was breathing her in, and loving every second of her easy compliance. It was only a small victory that he knew how short-lived it would be. His thoughts were warring with each other, trying to enjoy whatever time he had with her in his arms, but unable to forget that it would be over soon and she'd be back in mine. At times, I was convinced he'd forgotten I was there, or maybe he'd simply tired of trying to torture me every second.

_Just isn't right. I could give her so much more than him. She feels so warm, so perfect. And she fits. She just fits. It's not fair – _

His mind continued trying to rationalize what he wanted and couldn't have, while I attempted to count the seconds left until sunrise. I was sure Bella had already fallen asleep, her breathing having slowed to its nightly, even tempo, so I was surprised when I heard her speak. Her voice was quiet, a whisper in the darkness – words meant for Jacob. There was a sinking, hallow feeling in my chest as I wondered if she, too, had forgotten I was there.

"Jake?" she asked. "Can I ask you something? I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything, I'm honestly curious."

"Sure," he laughed, recalling some inside joke from one of their days together in La Push.

"Why are you so much furrier than your friends? You don't have to answer if I'm being rude."

"Because my hair is longer." _Simple question, simple answer. Please, just leave it at that._

I held in a laugh. He must not know Bella like I do, because, of course, she would never leave it at that.

"Oh. Then why don't you cut it? Do you like to be shaggy?"

_Aw, Bella, why now? _His mind launched into a series of images – flashes of the two of them together. Her casually touching his long hair, noticing when he had it down instead of pulled back. The rest of the pack cutting their hair and telling him to do the same. Egging him on when he refused. This time I couldn't hold back my laughter.

_Shut _up!_ So she likes my hair long, at least I can _cut _mine if I want to. Freak._

I was too amused to be bothered by him.

"Sorry," Bella said, yawning. "I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to tell me."

_Right. Like there could ever be any secrets with the freak-show in the tent. _"Oh, he'll tell you anyway, so I might as well . . . . I was growing my hair out because . . . it seemed like you liked it better long."

"Oh," she said again. "I, er, like it both ways, Jake. You don't need to be . . . inconvenienced."

"Turns out it was very convenient tonight, so don't worry about it."

It was quiet again, except for the constant chatter of Jacob's mind that I was attempting – and failing – to ignore. I tried to concentrate on Bella's breathing.

"That's right, honey, go to sleep," Jacob whispered. My fists tightened hearing the word _honey _escape his lips, but his voice was soft, and I could tell his only intention, at least for the moment, was to help lull Bella to sleep.

It was a relief when I heard another voice in my head, one not preoccupied with Bella.

_Still can't believe I'm up here playing walkie-talkie instead of getting ready for the fight, _he complained. _Too young. Right. I could take out my fair share of vampires. Just let me sink my teeth into one of them._

"Seth is here," I said softly, not wanting to wake Bella if she was really asleep this time.

"Perfect," Jacob whispered. "Now you can keep an eye on everything else, while I take care of your girlfriend for you."

I refrained from answering, for fear I couldn't keep my voice quiet. It was a lost cause, though, as Bella seemed to be stubbornly refusing sleep. "Stop it," she murmured, clearly exhausted.

_Fine. Just sleep, Bella, please. You're so tired. _Because of the angle they were laying at, I couldn't be sure, but I thought I saw Jacob stroking her hair. I shut my eyes tightly, pressing my fingers against my closed eyelids, trying to block everything out. Whatever kept her warm. Whatever helped her sleep. Whatever I needed to endure to get her through this night. I just about shot out of my seat when a particularly lewd thought crossed Jacob's mind, interrupting my mantra.

"_Please! _Do you _mind!_"

"What?" Jacob asked, genuinely confused. _Crap, what was I thinking about? What did he hear? Oh jeez, totally embarrassing. _

He'd obviously been letting his mind wander, and I realized that as much as he enjoyed tormenting me, he hadn't actually been thinking about _that _on purpose. It was amazing how quickly my instincts took over. I'd been keeping myself calm, thinking rationally. Then I see a picture of all the things Jacob wanted with _my _Bella, and everything inside me instantly screamed, _protect her!_ I wanted to rip Jacob apart for having eventhought of defiling her in such a way. He had the woman he loved pressed against him, andhe already had most of his clothes off. And now I was being forced to watch his mental image of undressing her . . .

"Do you think you could _attempt _to control your thoughts?" I spat.

"No one said you had to listen." _Disgusting leech, stay the hell out of my head! This is so messed up. Why can't he just go spend the night in the woods? Or better yet, go do some more combat practice with his family . . . except, oh yeah, there's no point because he's staying out of the fight like a coward. Still can't believe he let Bella talk him into this. What on earth did she say to him to make him stay . . . _

His mind was racing so fast, it was hard to keep up. It took me a few seconds to realize he was babbling to try to regain control of his thoughts. Jacob had no desire to let me hear his private thoughts about Bella. He took three deep breaths, trying to steady himself, then repeated in a carefully calculated tone, "Get out of my head."

"I wish I _could_. You have no idea how loud your little fantasies are. It's like you're shouting them at me."

"I'll try to keep it down," he said, his voice biting. _Bet you're just pissed that I can even think about being with her like that. You probably can't even hold her without breaking her. _

"Yes. I'm jealous of that, too," I admitted, preferring the word _jealous_ to his less tasteful term.

"I figured it was like that. Sort of evens the playing field up a little, doesn't it?"

He could pretend to be as self-assured as he liked, but he couldn't hide the frustration and hopelessness that was now taking over his mind. Just because physically he_ could _be with Bella, didn't mean he would ever get to be. As his mind slipped unconsciously back to his earlier fantasy, I laughed.

"In your dreams."

"You know, she could still change her mind. Considering _all _the things I could do with her that you can't. At least, not without killing her, that is."

I really wished Jacob could have learned to control his thoughts better, but he seemed to have a one track mind. With those words, Jacob's mind threw image after image at me of everything he wanted his relationship with Bella to entail. It was probably only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. My ability to hear someone's every thought had never felt like more of a curse. I felt my fists clenched as he imagined kissing her, lifting her until her legs were wrapped around him. Clothes were being torn off and thrown to the ground, and the feeling of pure bliss was consuming Jacob's mind as he saw so clearly everything I wanted, but didn't know if I could ever have with _my _Bella.

"Go to sleep, Jacob. You're starting to get on my nerves." My voice was unsteady and I tried to hold back the rage that was building inside me. I hoped he heard the warning in my words, and knew how little patience I had left. I'd promised not to hurt Jacob, for Bella's sake, but I'd never imagined I would be forced to sit and listened while he dreamed of being intimate with my fiancée.

"I think I will. I'm really very comfortable." _Not as comfortable as I _could _be, but close enough. _I didn't dare speak again, because I knew I wouldn't be able to control myself. I was concentrating all my energy on making sure Jacob lived through the night.

Several minutes passed, and, thankfully, his fantasies died down. He was quite content to be holding Bella, keeping her safe, and he eventually found himself able to focus on enjoying the moment. After a brief period of relative quiet, I started to wonder if he'd finally fallen asleep. I was just starting to worry about what I was going to hear if he started dreaming, when his still very conscious thoughts surprised me.

_Hey, bloodsucker. If I asked you a question, or, you know, thought about a question, would you actually answer it? Would you at least give me that? _

"Maybe I would."

"But would you be honest?"

"You can always ask and see." I smiled in the darkness. Whatever he wanted to ask me was really irking him, and after all the mental games he'd been playing with me, I was letting myself enjoy toying with him for awhile.

"Well, you see inside my head – let me see inside yours tonight, it's only fair."

"Your head is full of questions. Which one do you want me to answer?"

"The jealousy . . . it _has _to be eating at you. You can't be as sure of yourself as you seem. Unless you have no emotions at all."

"Of course it is," I spat. I found it very hard to believe he didn't know what it was doing to me, watching him lying there with Bella and listening to all the things he wanted to do with her. He had to know how it was killing me. Frustrated, I listened to his mind, but there was no indication he was asking me for any reason other than a genuine desire to know. For the first time, he wasn't trying to torment me – he just needed to hear me admit it.

"Right now it's so bad that I can barely control my voice," I admitted. "Of course, it's even worse when she's away from me, with you, and I can't see her."

"Do you think about it all the time? Does it make it hard to concentrate when she's not with you?" He was speaking softly, his voice shaking more than I'd ever heard. I could tell he was trying to focus on what he was saying out loud, to block me from hearing the desperation in his mind, but it was too loud to ignore. _I think about her all the time. He has no idea how much it kills me to think of them together, just please, please let it be that bad for him when she's with me. It's not fair. Why am I the only one suffering?_

"Yes and no," I answered. Inexplicably, I found I was trying to stop myself from hearing any more of his silent pleading. It was one of the first times it actually felt impolite to be listening. "My mind doesn't work quite the same as yours. I can think of many more things at one time. Of course, that means that I'm _always _able to think of you, always able to wonder if that's where her mind is, when she's quiet and thoughtful."

_You worry she thinks about me, even when you guys are together. I like that. _

It surprised me that he didn't sound arrogant. He wasn't bragging or trying to rile me up again. He was just happy to think he was on her mind.

_ So . . . do you think she's thinking about me a lot?_

"Yes, I would guess that she thinks about you often. More often than I like. She worries that you're unhappy. Not that you don't know that. Not that you don't _use _that."

_Right, _he scoffed_. Like _you _fight fair. _"I have to use whatever I can. I'm not working with your advantages – advantages like her knowing she's in love with you."

"That helps." My voice was calm, but it was too much to ask to keep all the smugness out of it. Apparently, all traces of nicety were gone for Jacob as well.

_Shut up!_ he thought defensively. _You don't know _anything_. _"She's in love with me, too, you know."

He sounded like he was asking for confirmation, though of course, I couldn't be certain either way. There were plenty of times I'd listened to Bella try to explain why she cared so much for Jacob, and the way she spoke of his help during the months I'd been gone made it hard not to believe she was in love with him, in a way.

Jacob sighed at my silence. "But she _doesn't_ know it."

"I can't tell you if you're right," I said, defeated.

"Does that bother you? Do you wish you could see what she's thinking, too?"

"Yes . . . and no, again. She likes it better this way, and, though it sometimes drives me insane, I'd rather she was happy."

_Wow, he really does love her. _His unconscious thought startled both of us, and I was about to speak when the wind picked up again, rocking the tent violently. _I've got you, Bella. You're safe, _he thought, his arms pulling her in tighter.

"Thank you," I said softly. "Odd as this might sound, I suppose I'm glad you're here, Jacob."

"You mean, 'as much as I'd love to kill you, I'm glad she's warm,' right?"

"It's an uncomfortable truce, isn't it?"

_Uncomfortable. Now there's an understatement. I'm never going to get this stench out of my nostrils. Still – _"I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am."

I wondered for a moment what Bella would think if she knew how much of his confident attitude was just bravado.

"I'm not such a fool as to wear it on my sleeve like you do. It doesn't help your case, you know." I had no idea why I suddenly sounded like I was giving him relationship advice. Then, I remembered the look on Bella's face when she looked down at my ring on her finger, and how that moment had changed everything. Maybe the only reason I was tolerating Jacob at all tonight was that I'd never been more sure that Bella had truly chosen _me. _

"You have more patience than I do," he sighed.

"I should. I've had a hundred years to gain it. A hundred years of waiting for _her_."

"So . . ." he started, trying not to let me hear how hard it was for him to wrap his mind around the concept of that much time, "at what point did you decide to play the very patient good guy?"

"When I saw how much it was hurting her to make her choose. It's not usually this difficult to control. I can smother the . . . less civilized feelings I may have for you fairly easily most of the time. Sometimes I think she sees through me, but I can't be sure."

_She's never really seen you, so why should she start now? _Keeping true to form, he quickly tried to cover up his bitterness with arrogance. "I think you were just worried that if you really forced her to choose, she might not choose you."

"That was a part of it. But only a small part. We all have our moments of doubt. Mostly I was worried that she'd hurt herself trying to sneak away to see you. After I'd accepted that she was more or less safe with you – as safe as Bella ever is – it seemed best to stop driving her to extremes."

_Bella think he's Mr. Tolerant, but it's all just a front. I wish she could hear him now. _"I'd tell her all of this, but she'd never believe me."

I grinned. "I know."

"You think you know everything." _So annoying._

"I don't know the future," I admitted. Even with Bella having promised to marry me, and Alice constantly reminding me she's seen countless images of Bella with us forever, I knew there were things Alice couldn't see, and situations Bella couldn't anticipate. What if Jacob got hurt in the fight, and thinking about losing him made her realize how much she loved him?

"What would you do if she changed her mind?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know that either."

_I could take a guess, _he thought, laughing. "Would you try to kill me?"

"No."

_Yeah, because you know I'd rip your head off with one swat. _"Why not?" he taunted, and irritation crept back into my voice. Just when I thought he'd started to understand that Bella came first in my life, no matter what . . .

"Do you really think I would hurt her that way?" I asked, icily.

_No. No, of course not. Same reason I haven't tried to kill you. _He sighed. "Yeah, you're right. I know that's right. But sometimes . . ."

"Sometimes it's an intriguing idea."

Jacob laughed out loud, burying his face in the sleeping bag to keep himself quiet. "Exactly," he said as thoughts of us fighting for Bella played through his mind. It suddenly seemed like a very old fashioned idea – fighting to the death to win the hand of the woman we both loved. In another time, it might have been the appropriate way to handle things, but for now, we both had to accept that it was Bella's choice to make.

Several moments passed, and after listening to thoughts of the fight we would never have, I was surprised at the direction Jacob's mind took. As clearly as I'd ever watched one of Alice's visions, I watched the fight in his mind end – and he saw me winning. He watched Bella walk away with me, hand in hand, as he ran in the other direction, defeated. His agony was so complete, I felt hollow in my own chest. All his confidence, all the ways he'd tried to goad me into admitting I was jealous of him – not even a hint of it was there as he saw all too clearly what his life was going to be without her.

"What is it like? Losing her?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. "When you thought that you'd lost her forever? How did you . . . cope?"

"That's very difficult for me to talk about."

_Fair is fair. I know you've been digging around in my head already, so you know what I'm afraid of. Just tell me what it was like. Tell me what I need to – _

Even in his mind, he couldn't finish the thought. But I knew. He was trying to prepare himself for what he knew was coming, and as much as he hated me, I was the only one who understood – the only one who'd loved and lost our Bella.

"There were two different times that I thought that," I began slowly. "The first time, when I thought I could leave her . . . that was . . . almost bearable. Because I thought she would forget me and it would be like I hadn't touched her life. For over six months I was able to stay away, to keep my promise that I wouldn't interfere again. I was getting close – I was fighting but I knew I wasn't going to win; I would have come back . . . just to check on her." It was important that Jacob knew this. I'd heard enough of his mind to know that he blamed himself for losing Bella. He often felt that if he'd never let her jump off that cliff, I wouldn't have come back into her life. No amount of animosity I felt toward him would let me leave him with that kind of self-loathing.

"That's what I would have told myself, anyway. And if I'd found her reasonably happy . . . I like to think that I could have gone away again. But she wasn't happy. And I would have stayed." I paused, making sure my words were sinking in. His mind was racing, trying to argue against what I was saying, but he couldn't stop himself from remembering what Bella was like during that time. He knew if I'd come home and seen her as miserable as he'd watched her be all those months, nothing in the world could have made me leave again.

"That's how she convinced me to stay with her tomorrow, of course. You were wondering about that before, what could possibly motivate me . . . what she was feeling so needlessly guilty about. She reminded me of what it did to her when I left – what it still does to her when I leave. She feels horrible about bringing that up, but she's right. I'll never be able to make up for that, but I'll never stop trying anyway."

_I'm such an idiot. All this time, I didn't think he even had real feelings. Crap, why does that make it so much harder? Doesn't change what he wants to do to her. Doesn't change that he wants to _kill _her! Damn it, stop listening to me, this isn't right . . ._

He wasn't looking at me, so he couldn't see the apology in my eyes, but I hoped he knew. I wished I could give him privacy, especially since it seemed he was finally starting to understand, at least to some extent, that everything I did was out of love for Bella. Determined not to let me hear any more unintentional thoughts, he continued.

"And the other time – when you thought she was dead?" _And don't you dare tell me it's too hard to talk about it. You're about to put me through the same damn thing._

"Yes. It will probably feel like that to you, won't it? The way you perceive us, you might not be able to see her as _Bella _anymore. But that's who she'll be."

"That's not what I asked." _Just say it already. Tell me how it tore you apart!_

"I can't tell you how it felt. There aren't words," I nearly yelled.

I saw Bella twitch, and Jacob's arms tightened around her protectively. _He can't do this, he just can't. I won't let him take your life away._

"But you left because you didn't want to make her a bloodsucker. You _want _her to be human," he pleaded. I didn't know exactly why it felt so important, but I chose my words carefully, knowing this was probably my only chance to try to make him understand.

"Jacob, from the second that I realized that I loved her, I knew there were only four possibilities. The first alternative, the best one for Bella, would be if she didn't feel as strongly for me – if she got over me and moved on. I would accept that, thought it would never change the way I felt. You think of me as a . . . living stone – hard and cold. That's true. We are set the way we are, and it is very rare for us to experience a real change. When that happens, as when Bella entered my life, it is a permanent change. There's no going back . . ."

For a split second, I caught myself imagining what my life would have been if Bella hadn't loved me in return. I would have watched her from afar, swearing not to intervene, but I knew without a doubt that if she was in danger – if anyone ever hurt her – that I would have protected her in whatever capacity was necessary. It would have been a lonely life, even more of a half-existence than I was already living, but I really had no other alternative. I'd lived alone for a century, never thinking I could feel love the way my family felt, but Bella had shown me what my frozen heart was capable of. Even if she hadn't wanted me, I would have loved her forever.

I realized Jacob was waiting for me to continue, so I shook off the emptiness I always felt when I remembered how life could have been, had Bella chosen a different path. "The second alternative, the one I'd originally chosen, was to stay with her throughout her human life. It wasn't a good option for her, to waste her life with someone who couldn't be human with her, but it was the alternative I could most easily face. Knowing all along that, when she died, I would find a way to die, too. Sixty years, seventy years – it would seem like a very, very short time to me . . . But then it proved much too dangerous for her to live in such close proximity with my world. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Or hung over us . . . waiting to go wrong. I was terrified that I couldn't get those sixty years if I stayed near her while she was human.

"So I chose option three. Which turned out to be the worst mistake of my very long life, as you know. I chose to take myself out of her world, hoping to force her into the first alternative. It didn't work, and it very nearly killed us both."

Jacob shuddered as he remembered watching Bella and Alice drive away, on their way to save me. I'd never seen that exact moment, and there was something in Bella's expression that made my insides tighten. Jacob couldn't read her mind, but all she was feeling was there in her eyes, and now I was looking into them as if I'd been standing in front of her. I saw fear like I'd never seen, not even when her own life was in danger. I saw determination, intense as fire. I saw love, though it was marred by fear, desperate and searching.

What struck me more than anything, though, was that Jacob seemed to have known – and now I was seeing for myself – that if she hadn't gotten to me in time, she probably wouldn't have come home. Jacob knew she was being taken to a group of vampires who would have happily killed her without a thought. More than that, though, was the fact that the fear in Bella's eyes was only fear for me, and the determination to get to me in time was only because my life meant that much to her. There was something behind all those other emotions, telling me without a doubt, that if she'd failed, she wouldn't have even put up a fight. She would have been the easiest prey the Volturri had ever seen.

I'd never felt so completely at a loss for words, but what I'd started, I knew I had to finish. Jacob's thoughts had scattered as he remembered her driving away. He thought he'd lost Bella, and he couldn't process that kind of loss, not again. No amount of my telling him what it had done to me was going to prepare him, but there was still something he needed to hear. I continued quickly, ready to be done – done talking, done thinking, done with this night. I'd never felt so exhausted.

"What do I have left but the fourth option? It's what she wants – at least, she thinks she does. I've been trying to delay her, to give her time to find a reason to change her mind, but she's very . . . stubborn. You know _that. _I'll be lucky to stretch this out a few more months. She has a horror of getting older, and her birthday is in September . . ."

_Shut up, shut up . . . no more. I can't listen to this. _"I like option one," he said quietly. I knew he was only muttering to himself, barely aware of my presence anymore. He was as tired as I was by being forced into this level of honesty. We were both very ready for the night to be over.

"You know _exactly _how much I hate to accept this," he finally said, "but I can see that you do love her . . . in your way. I can't argue with that anymore." He'd thought the words earlier, but it was good to hear them out loud. It was comforting, in an odd way, knowing that no matter how much Jacob hated me – and hated the choice Bella was making – at least he would always know that she was everything to me. He'd never doubt that she was loved, and taken care of. If Bella had chosen Jacob, I could have asked nothing more than to have that same knowledge.

"Given that," he continued, "I don't think you should give up on the first alternative, not yet. I think there's a very good chance that she would be okay. After time. You know, if she hadn't jumped off a cliff in March . . . and if you'd waited another six months to check on her . . . . Well, you might have found her reasonably happy. I had a game plan."

I laughed, because all his ifs and maybes must have sounded absurd, even to him. It made it easy, though, to give him the benefit of the doubt in his wildly hypothetical situation. "Maybe it would have worked. It was a well thought-out plan."

"Yeah." _If. So many ifs. _"But . . ." he said, lowering his voice as if worried Bella would hear his secret mission, "give me a year, bl – Edward. I really think I could make her happy. She's stubborn, no one knows that better than I do, but she's capable of healing. She would have healed before. And she could be human, with Charlie and Renée, and she could grow up, and have kids and . . . be Bella.

"You love her enough that you have to see the advantages of that plan. She thinks you're very unselfish . . . are you really? Can you consider the idea that I might be better for her than you are?"

"I _have _considered it. In some ways, you would be better suited for her than any other human. Bella takes some looking after, and you're strong enough that you could protect her from herself, and from everything that conspires against her. You _have _done that already, and I'll owe you for that for as long as I live – forever – whichever comes first . . . .

"I even asked Alice if she could see that – see if Bella would be better off with you. She couldn't of course. She can't see you, and then Bella's sure of her course, for now."

My eyes shut tightly as I tried to make myself think of what I would do if Bella chose to leave – now, after we'd been through so much. It was agonizing just to imagine it, but I loved her too much to ever try to make her decisions for her again. If she chose Jacob, I would let her go, but I had also vowed never to try to push her away again. I needed Jacob to understand that it wasn't about me, or what I wanted for Bella any more. I wasn't holding her to me or taking her human life from her out of selfishness. I was giving her anything and everything she asked for, because I'd finally learned that trying to make her decisions for her only led to disaster.

"But I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake I made before, Jacob. I won't try to force her into that first option again. As long as she wants me, I'm here."

"And if she were to decide that she wanted me? Okay, it's a long shot, I'll give you that."

I didn't hesitate for a second, though the words were painful to speak. "I would let her go."

"Just like that?"

"In the sense that I'd never show her how hard it was for me, yes. But I would keep watch. You see, Jacob, _you _might leave _her _someday. Like Sam and Emily, you wouldn't have a choice. I would always be waiting in the wings, hoping for that to happen."

_Of course you would. You never go anywhere for long, do you? _he scoffed, before letting out a long sigh. "Well, you've been much more honest than I had any right to expect . . . Edward. Thanks for letting me in your head."

"As I said, I'm feeling oddly grateful for you presence in her life tonight. It was the least I could do . . . You know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that you're also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you."

_Very funny, leech. _He considered it for a moment, trying to figure out if I was joking, but when he realized there was no trace of malice in my voice, he attempted to return the sentiment.

"Maybe . . . if you weren't a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck out the life of the girl I love . . . well, no, not even then."

I laughed. He had given it his best effort. A moment later, I remember something I had wanted to ask him about, but wasn't sure how to bring it up. After all that had conspired tonight, though, it seemed a very easy question. "Can I ask you something?"

"Why would you have to ask?"

"I can only hear if you think of it. It's just a story that Bella seemed reluctant to tell me about the other day. Something about a third wife . . . ?"

"What about it?" he asked, but I didn't need to clarify any further. The moment I'd said the words, Jacob's mind had started recounting the story. The legend had been passed down through his tribe, and of course, the vampires in this story were the worst kind – the monsters my family and I knew we could never let ourselves be. The Quileutes were heroic in defending their tribe from danger, and when the Third Wife drew blood and offered herself as a sacrifice, I felt a hiss escape my lips.

"What?" Jacob asked defensively.

"Of course. Of course! I rather wish your elders had kept _that _story to themselves, Jacob."

"You don't like the leeches being painted as the bad guys? You know, they _are. _Then _and _now."

"I really couldn't care less about that part. Can't you guess which character Bella would identify with?"

_Why would she be identifying with anyone from that story? Unless she's already thinking of herself as a disgusting bloodsucker. I'm not apologizing for anything. If he's upset because she doesn't want to think of herself as a monster, that's a good thing – _

Then, it dawned on him. "Oh. Ugh. The third wife. Okay, I see your point."

"She wants to be there in the clearing. To do what little she can, as she puts it. That was the secondary reason for my staying with her tomorrow. She's quite inventive when she wants something."

"You know, your military brother gave her the idea just as much as the story did," he snapped, and I saw Bella flinch again.

"Neither side meant any harm." I didn't want either of us getting upset and waking Bella up. We were finally starting to make peace, temporary as it might be.

"And when does _this _little truce end? First light? Or do we wait until after the fight?"

He thought the words at the same moment I did.

"First light," we said in unison, laughing together for the first, and most likely last, time.

"Sleep well, Jacob. Enjoy the moment," I said, reminding myself that when the sun came up, Bella and I would be together again, alone. She might have been in his arms for a night, but it was my arms she wanted to spend eternity in.

It was quiet as Jacob drifted off to sleep, and when the images from earlier began to return, I wasn't entirely sure if he was dreaming or not.

"I didn't mean it quite so literally," I muttered.

"Sorry," he answered drowsily. "You could leave, you know – give us a little privacy."

"Would you like me to _help _you sleep, Jacob?"

"You could try. It would be interesting to see who walked away, wouldn't it?"

It was amazing how quickly the pleasantries of the evening dissolved, and we found ourselves right back where we started. I hoped, however, that it was with a slightly better understanding of each other than before.

"Don't tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn't _that _perfect."

_Mmm, it's so warm in this sleeping bag. I can't _believe _how comfortable I am. _I rolled my eyes. "I'd rather not move just now, if you don't mind."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, deciding it best to end the conversation there. Instead, I hummed the lullaby Bella had fallen asleep to so many times, and wished I could sleep myself. It would have been nice to leave everything behind and escape for a few hours. I supposed I would have to settle for knowing that at least my Bella was warm and safe – and, I hoped, listening to me hum to her. I wanted nothing more than for her to know that this would be the last night she would ever spend in anyone's arms but my own.


	21. Monster

A/N: Hi everyone, hope life is treating you well. This one was fun. Good times, messing with Jacob's head and all. In the next couple of chapters, I foresee myself pouring over, not just Eclipse, but the Short Second Life of Bree Tanner as well, as there is lots of parallel stuff to take into account. Pardon me while my head explodes.

As always, thanks to shasta53 for your awesome powers of beta. Much love to all. Thanks for your reviews, PM's, and great Twi-chats. You guys are the sparkle to my vampire.

Monster

It was safe to say, that was the longest night of my endless life. Jacob spent two incredibly frustrating hours stroking Bella's hair and whispering to her – things I wished I couldn't hear, but found impossible to ignore.

"Everything's going to be fine now. I've got you. You're warm, you're safe. It could be like this always, you know."

I growled quietly, but it only seemed to spur him on. Eventually, Bella began her usual nightly routine of sleep talking, and I grinned wildly when my name was the first word she spoke.

_Just when I thought nothing could ruin this night for me, _Jacob thought sourly. "I'm here, Bella. It's me, remember? Jacob's got you."

Subtle. To my delight, however, Jacob's insistent murmurings didn't stop her from saying my name. She even said she loved me – a wonderful moment of reprieve for me – and if Jacob hadn't been almost as preoccupied with her safety as I was, I might have worried he would crush her as his temper flared.

"You can't change what she's dreaming about," I said softly.

_Shut up! _he hissed. He could probably feel me beaming. My joy was short lived, though, as the pattern of her dreams did, in fact, change. I heard her breathing pick up, and even though her position kept me from seeing her face, I knew it must be lined with worry. She was dreaming about the upcoming fight, and kept muttering, "Stay safe," and "Look out." Although I wasn't going to be in the clearing when the newborns arrived, I was foolish enough to think she was still dreaming about me – _worrying _about me.

"Jacob," she gasped, and I saw a wide grin stretch across his face.

_Now that's more like it, _he thought slyly.

"Please, no, Jacob. Don't go."

As the wind screamed outside the tent, I realized the violent sounds around us were probably making her nightmares that much more vivid. "Cover her ears, mongrel," I whispered fiercely. "The noise is enough to wake her up."

_Oh, I doubt very much that's what you're worried about. You'd probably like her to wake up right about now. All this Jacob talk must be driving you crazy._

I sighed, frustrated that he seemed untroubled by her nightmare, as long as he was in it. I thought the worst was over when Bella's breathing slowed again. She was quiet for several minutes as Jacob rubbed his fingers up and down her back. When she spoke again, I could tell she wasn't upset, like before. This time, her dream was a pleasant one, and though I'd always wished only good dreams for Bella, her words pierced through me.

"Jacob," she sighed. "So warm. Just stay."

My eyes shut tight against the pain, and I quickly reminded myself how necessary Jacob was, at least for this one night.

"Don't go. Don't fight. Stay here." Everything she said made perfect sense, given the situation. I knew she'd been worried about him, and even if she wasn't, it would have been rather difficult for her subconscious to ignore the hundred and eight degree _mutt _that was keeping her warm. I'd managed to calm myself down again, but when she sighed, "Jacob. _My _Jacob," I could no longer remain silent. The snarl that ripped through my throat could have easily woken her, but she barely flinched.

_Hey now, leech. Don't go waking up _my _Bella just when she's getting to the good part. _Jacob was trying to stay his usual, cocky self, but I heard what was beneath the surface. He was surprised – and positively ecstatic. _Oh, Bella, thank you. I love you so much. I'm yours. Just tell me you want me and I'm yours, always. My Bella. I'm not going anywhere, don't worry. I'll stay with you._

With Bella's words swirling through his mind, Jacob finally fell asleep. I was grateful I wouldn't have to be subjected to more of his taunting, although it certainly didn't get any quieter simply because he was long longer talking out loud. The sea of images in his unconscious mind were vivid and infuriating, but I took some solace in the way Bella seemed to start pulling away from him when his arms tightened around her. I hoped that, although she was enjoying his warmth, somewhere in her mind, she'd started to miss me.

Jacob was blissfully unaware of Bella's attempt to pull away from him, and as he held her closer, I was bombarded by another round of images. He was confessing his love to her her again and again, his thoughts so coherent that it was difficult to tell whether he'd woken up or was still dreaming. Either way, I could feel my patience waning, and for the first time, I found myself wrestling with the idea of leaving the tent. I knew Bella was safe – there was no question of _that, _with Jacob effectively soldered to her – and the idea of a quick, impromptu hunting trip was sounding better by the second. There had to be a deer or elk nearby, assuming they weren't all frozen, and the thought of a few minutes with my conscious mind turned off was very appealing. A few moments later, I came to my senses, talking myself out of such a selfish idea. I couldn't leave Bella. What if she woke up and I wasn't there? Instead, I went back to counting the minutes, and trying without success not to hear what Jacob's mind was shouting.

The hours passed, and I breathed a deep sigh of relief when I heard Bella take in several quick, sharp breaths, then watched her eyes flutter open. She shifted uncomfortably, trying to break free of the iron hold Jacob was keeping her in, and I saw her roll her eyes before lifting her head and searching for me. She smiled awkwardly, and I wondered what my expression showed. I tried to smile, though it was difficult with her still wrapped in Jacob'sarms. Still, I didn't want her to feel even a moment's guilt for what seeing her wake up with him was doing to me. There had been no other way, and as much as I loathed the situation, I knew I would be forever in Jacob's debt.

"Is it any warmer out there?" she asked.

"Yes. I don't think the space heater will be necessary today."

She struggled again, attempting to free herself from Jacob's grasp. I was all too willing to help with her predicament, but there was still a chill in the air, and I didn't want to force her back into the cold if she wasn't ready.

"Some help?" she finally asked, and it was all I needed for the smile to return to my face. The night was over, and Bella would never have to be in Jacob's arms again.

"Did you want me to take his arms all the way off?"

"No, thank you. Just get me free. I'm going to get heat stroke."

I nearly laughed as I realized how anxious she was to get away, and without another thought, I unzipped the sleeping bag and Jacob came tumbling out.

"Hey!" he yelled, rolling back onto Bella. Furious and completely out of patience, I lunged at him, growling and snapping. I grabbed his shoulder and hurled him off of Bella – _my _Bella – launching him into the side of the tent.

_What the hell? Filthy bloodsucker, don't _touch _me!_

I was still seeing red, my instincts on high alert. _Don't ever touch her again! _was the only thought in my head. We were both crouched, ready to attack, when we heard Seth outside.

_What's going on it there? Whatever it is, it's probably going to piss some people off and not solve anything, so would you both just knock it off?_

I figured Seth was probably referring to Sam, and possibly Carlisle, but in that moment, the only person I was worried about upsetting was Bella. I saw how distraught she was seconds before she started yelling, and I tried to stop the rage that was still building as I stared at Jacob.

"Stop it, stop it!" she shouted, positioning herself between her two monsters. I reached out to her, pulling her toward me, and her touch instantly comforted me. I was ready to stop the fight, but my eyes were glued to Jacob, who was clearly not in complete control. I wondered how much effort it was taking for him not to phase right there in the tent.

"Stop it, now," Bella repeated, misunderstanding the intensity in my eyes. I listened closely as Jacob tried to calm down. He kept repeating, _keep it together, have to keep Bella safe, _like a mantra.

Seth was still snarling outside the tent, his claws raking against the side like he was about to come barreling through. _Jacob, dude, listen to me. You're fine. You've got this. Just get out of there. No need to spend one more second in the company of that leech, right? Come on, man, just calm down._

Jacob's eyes were still wild, but I could tell he was steadily regaining control.

"Jacob?" Bella asked softly, concerned. She waited while his breathing slowed, probably never thinking about the danger she'd been in as his temper flared. When he finally turned to look at her, she asked, "Are you hurt?"

"Of course not!" he yelled, and I felt my rage surge again. There was absolutely no need to raise his voice to her. I looked at Bella to see if she was upset or offended, but it was me she was glaring at.

"That wasn't nice. You should say sorry."

"You must be joking – he was crushing you!"

"Because you dumped him on the floor! He didn't do it on purpose, and he didn't hurt me."

I couldn't stifle the groan of disgust at the thought of apologizing to that mongrel. It didn't help matters any that he was mentally goading me on, but after everything I went through the night before, a few more words between us probably wouldn't matter much. I wasn't sure I'd be able to muster up any amount of sincerity, but I figured simply saying the words would be good enough for Bella at that point.

"My apologies, dog."

"No harm done." _I'm still enjoying that warm, cozy feeling of waking up next to Bella. Mmm, did I sleep great . . . _

Ignoring him for what would hopefully be the last time that day, I turned to Bella just in time to see her shiver and wrap her arms around herself.

"Here," I said, wrapping the parka around her.

"That's Jacob's."

"Jacob has a fur coat." I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, a silent warning that it was time to leave. If he understood my meaning, he certainly didn't make any attempt to comply.

"I'll just use the sleeping bag again, in you don't mind. I wasn't quite ready to wake up. That wasn't the best night's sleep I ever had."

"It was your idea."

Jacob had already made himself comfortable once more, and though he tried to hide it, he couldn't stop the fleeting thought at how empty the sleeping bag felt without Bella there with him. His eyes were shut against his frustration, and the conflicting thoughts of what he wanted and what he thought he could actually obtain. Much to my dismay, his night with Bella seemed to have solidified his feelings for her, and his desperation to have her beside him, always.

"I didn't say it wasn't the best night I've ever spent. Just that I didn't get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was never going to shut up."

Bella tensed, and I scowled at him for making her feel badly. I had actually been hoping to avoid that conversation entirely, but now I was certain she would want to know what she'd said.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," I said sarcastically, glaring at Jacob.

"Didn't you have a nice night, then?"

"It wasn't the worst night of my life." I was not going to give him the satisfaction. And, of course, I had lived through _far _worse.

"Did it make the top ten?" _Come on, admit it. You were miserable. I know that stone cold heart of yours feels something, so just own up to it already. _

I couldn't understand why it meant so much to Jacob to know I was unhappy. Perhaps it was my hundred odd years of watching humans torment each other – and watching it solve absolutely nothing – but it seemed a pointless thing to wish unhappiness on others, simply because you aren't satisfied with your own life. I felt a strange pang of sympathy for Jacob, and a hope in the back of my mind that life would eventually teach him that his happiness wasn't dependent on his enemy's misery.

"Possibly," I finally conceded.

_That's more like it, _he thought, closing his eyes again. _Now, maybe I'll just get back to dreaming about Bella. She was certainly dreaming about me. Mmm, it's so nice to actually be able to think about __touching her, and kissing her, without worrying I'm going to crush her into tiny pieces . . ._

It would never cease to amaze me how quickly Jacob could squelch any and all friendly feelings I'd managed to have toward him.

"But," I replied casually, "if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the _best _nights of my life. Dream about that."

He tried not to see it, not to imagine how easily I really could be with Bella, but I could see that, in the back of his mind, even he knew I would never hurt her. It was true, I would probably always have to be painstakingly careful around Bella – as long as she was human. Yet somehow I was capable of being close to her, kissing her and caressing her, and the thought of that was enough to send Jacob flying out the tent door.

"You know what? I think it's too crowded in here."

"I couldn't agree more." I felt Bella's elbow in my side, and I hoped I hadn't upset her. It really was in everyone's best interest that Jacob and I part ways. There was only so far we could push our unsteady alliance.

"Guess I'll catch up on my sleep later, then." _Away from Bella. Alone, as usual. _His face pulled into a scowl as he tried to banish his thoughts. "I need to talk to Sam anyway."

Bella sucked in a sharp breath as he stepped outside, and I knew before she spoke that she would ask – perhaps even beg – Jacob to stay.

"Jake, wait – " she pleaded, trying to grasp his arm.

_Enough. I can't take this. Either you want me or you don't, and clearly, you don't. _He tugged his arm roughly away from her reach, and the gesture spoke more loudly than the words I'd heard.

"Please, Jake? Won't you stay?"

"No." I could see the pain in Bella's eyes, and Jacob must have too, because he quickly add, "Don't worry about me, Bells. I'll be fine, just like I always am. `Sides, you think I'm going to let Seth go in my place – have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right."

"Be careful – "she started to say, but he was already outside, muttering, "Give it a rest, Bella." When all this was over, I really would need to teach him a lesson or two regarding manners.

I watched Bella's expression as she listened for signs that Jacob had left. After a moment, she seemed to accept that he had disappeared off into the woods. I didn't have the heart to tell her that he was quietly pacing just outside, as frustrated and confused as ever.

_Am I really just supposed to leave her here with him? Like my work here is done – I kept her warm, and then pass her back off to the bloodsucker? I should have just ripped his head off and been done with it. She would've been pissed for awhile, but she'd get over it eventually, right? She's almost gotten over him once before. I can wait it out. Jeez, what am I doing? The fight's about to start, and Sam's gonna be pissed if I don't get there soon._

A moment later, his thoughts were joined by other voices from the pack.

_Enough, Jacob._

_ I can't listen to this anymore._

_ Yeah, man. Give it up already. There's more important vampires to worry about killing than that leech of Bella's._

_ Seriously, Jacob, the fight's starting in, like, an hour. At least that's what the psychic leech told Sam. While you were, ya know, playing space heater for your girlfriend._

_ You guys aren't helping! _Jacob snapped.

_ Hey, leave him alone, _Seth said. _And Jake, I know it sucks, but for now, you gotta let it go, okay? They're right that you need to get focused. The army is almost here._

I wished he would listen to them. I wished Sam would join in the conversation so he would have no choice but to listen. But Jacob couldn't stop imagining Bella curling up beside me, happier than she'd been with him – _glad _her night with Jacob was over.

"How much longer?" Bella asked quietly, pulling me from Jacob's thoughts. Her head was resting gently against my shoulder.

"Alice told Sam it should be an hour or so."

"We stay together. No matter what."

"No matter what," I promised.

Bella must have misread the anxiety in my eyes, because she took a deep breath and sighed. "I know. I'm terrified for them, too."

"They know how to handle themselves. I just hate missing the fun." She glared at me, troubled by seemingly flippant attitude. Really, though, I wasn't worried about my family. I felt remnants of the guilt they'd assured me was unnecessary, but I trusted them to handle to fight perfectly. They were more than prepared. "Don't worry," I told Bella again, kissing her forehead.

"Sure, sure."

"Do you want me to distract you?" I traced my fingertips along her cheeks, marveling in the warmth I felt coming off her skin, though I knew she must still be cold. When she shivered, I knew I needed to stop, at least for the time being. "Maybe not right now." There would be plenty of time for us to be together when we were back home and all the insanity was over.

"There are other ways to distract me," she hinted.

"What would you like?"

"You could tell me about your ten best nights. I'm curious."

I laughed, happy to finally be talking about a more cheerful subject. It felt like all we'd done lately was worry. "Try to guess."

"There're too many nights I don't know about. A century of them."

I wished we were back at my house so I could have wrapped my arms around her and kissed her properly. I couldn't believe that after all this time, she still didn't understand. Every good night I'd ever had was because of her. My existence was _nothing _before I'd found her.

"I'll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you."

"Really?" she asked, grinning the sweetest smile as her cheeks got back some of their color.

"Yes, really – and by quite a wide margin, too."

I was happy this pleased her, though I didn't understand how there could have been any doubt. She thought for a few moments, then said, "I can only think of mine."

"They might be the same."

"Well, there was the first night. The night you stayed."

"Yes, that's one of mine, too. Of course, you were unconscious for my favorite part."

"That's right. I was talking that night, too."

"Yes." I smiled warmly, everything in my entire being radiating the love I felt for her. Every time I thought of that first night – when she'd told me she loved me in her dreams, and then again when she awoke – I was filled with wonder and awe at the precious gift I'd somehow been granted.

Bella was quiet for a long moment, and I assumed she was still thinking about that first perfect night. She surprised me when she asked, "What did I say last night?"

I'd all but forgotten Jacob's presence outside, having tuned most of the pack's chatter out in favor of Bella's more pleasant conversation. It was impossible not to hear him now, though, since Bella had brought up his current favorite subject.

_She said my name, _he remembered reverently. _She called me her Jacob._

I shrugged in response to Bella's question, not particularly in the mood to discuss it, and certainly not wanting to upset or embarrass her.

"That bad?" she persisted.

"Nothing too horrible."

"Please tell me."

"Mostly you said my name, the same as usual."

"That's not bad."

_Don't lie to her, you filthy leech. Admit it. You tell her or I'll come back in there and tell her myself._

_ Just give it a rest, Jake, _the pack chimed in immediately. _Sam's about to order you back, anyway, so you might as well leave now._

He was having nothing of it. He wanted to know how she would react to knowing she'd been dreaming, and talking, about him.

"Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about 'Jacob, my Jacob.' Your Jacob enjoyed _that _quite a lot." I tried to keep the bitterness out of my voice, but I was sure it was there. A second later, Bella was stretching up to kiss my chin, and all the bitterness vanished.

"Sorry. That's just the way I differentiate."

"Differentiate?"

"Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the hell out of me."

"That makes sense."

_It sure as hell does _not _make sense! _Jacob was in a frenzy. I was certain Bella would hear him, but she was still looking up at me, her lips barely grazing my jawline, exhaling her warm, perfect breathe and making me feel alive.

"Tell me another favorite night," I said, smiling back at her.

"Flying home from Italy."

My smile disappeared as I recalled in perfect detail the horrors that had transpired that day. Yet, despite all that had happened, I knew I had been filled with joy during the flight home. Bella was safe and in my arms, something less than twenty-four hours prior, I had thought would never be true again. I remembered not caring whether or not she still loved me, or if she would ever forgive me. All that mattered was that she was alive. I could remember joy, but I didn't comprehend how Bella could. She'd been face to face with the most vicious of our kind, and had witnessed atrocities no one should ever have to endure. On top of all that, she was also fully convinced I no longer wanted her, and although she – _impossibly – _did still love me, she didn't believe she had my love in return.

"Is that not one of yours?" she asked, scrutinizing my expression.

"No, it _is _one of mine, actually, but I'm surprised it's on your list. Weren't you under the ludicrous impression I was just acting from a guilty conscious, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doors opened?"

"Yes. But, still, you were there."

If I were still able to cry tears, I would have. That she could be so grateful for my presence to have overlooked all the other horrors that night, was perhaps the most beautiful display of her love I'd ever seen. All I could think to do was kiss the top of her head and silently thank whatever force had brought us back together. "You love me more than I deserve."

She laughed, though I couldn't figure out why, and continued. "Next would be the night after Italy."

"Yes, that's on the list. You were so funny."

"Funny?" she repeated, sounding almost offended. Perhaps it wasn't the right word, but I'd been practically giddy with relief that we were together again.

"I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were awake."

"I'm still not sure. You've always seemed more like a dream than reality."

I was somewhere between wanting to argue with her that she thought far too much of me, and basking in just how much she actually loved me, when Jacob's thoughts interrupted Bella and my otherwise quiet moment.

_Nightmare is more like it. Please, Bella, you're making me sick here._

Once again, I'd managed to forget Jacob was there at all. I might have let him remain outside, miserable because of his own eavesdropping, but his ability to effectively ruin so many beautiful moments reminded me that our odd little truce had ended when the sun came up.

"Tell me one of yours, now. Did I guess your first place?" Bella urged.

"No – that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me." I'd expected a reaction from Jacob, but it was somewhat more desperate than I'd anticipated.

_What? No. NO! You're not going to marry that filthy _leech! _Bella, please, no!_

The grunts and snarls Jacob could not longer keep to himself might have alerted Bella to his presence, had she not been so distracted by the reminder of her promise to me. I wished her face had showed something other than her obvious aversion to the idea, though at least she didn't appear to be having any sort of panic attack this time.

"That doesn't make your list?" I asked, watching her expression carefully. She slowly went from nervous and reserved, to varying shades of confusion, but much to my delight, a smile eventually crept onto her face and her eyes began to light up.

"Yes . . . it does. But with reservations. I don't understand why it's so important to you. You already had me forever."

"A hundred years from now, when you've gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, I will explain it to you."

Her smile grew wider as the promise of so many years – endless years – stretched out before us. "I'll remind you to explain – in a hundred years."

I couldn't tell at what point Jacob's conscious thoughts had ended and the agonized screaming had begun. His mind was like static noise as he tried to reconcile with the pain. A moment later, he was gone, running through the woods faster than he'd ever run. I felt a twinge of guilt, though it was not for having let Jacob hear we were engaged. That, he needed to know, if he was ever going to accept the certainty of Bella and my future together. I felt guilty, though, because I knew Jacob's pain would hurt Bella, and with the fight she was already so worried about mere minutes away, it didn't seem right that I should have added another burden to her mind.

"Are you warm enough?" I asked, knowing his silent screams wouldn't be remain silent for much longer.

"I'm fine. Why?"

Just as I'd been waiting for, Jacob's cries filled the air around us. He howled for his love, and the life he believed would be taken from her. He howled for his own life – the one he'd imagined for himself, with Bella at his side. The sound of his suffering took only a moment to register in Bella's eyes, but I still spoke the words of confirmation.

"Because your space heater has reached his limit. Truce over," I added quietly.

"Jacob was listening."

"Yes."

"You knew."

"Yes."

She was still, her eyes glazed over as she stared helplessly at the door of the tent.

"I never promised to fight fair. And he deserves to know."

I waited, but there was nothing. Bella wouldn't look at me, wouldn't speak. She lowered her head into her hands miserably, and I wondered whether I had acted foolishly. Impulsively.

"Are you angry with me?" I asked. I expected her anger. I _deserved_ her anger. In fact, I would have gladly taken her anger if it helped ease the sorrow she was feeling for Jacob, but her next words shocked and baffled me. They also gave me something entirely new to feel guilty for, something I hadn't been expecting, though knowing Bella like I did, I should have realized she would findsome way to turn this around on herself.

"Not you. I'm horrified at _me_."

"Don't torment yourself," I begged, confused. What had _she _done?

"Yes. I should save my energy to torment Jacob some more. I wouldn't want to leave any part of him unharmed."

"He knew what he was doing." I certainly knew better than anyone that those who listen in where they are not welcome, often hear things they wish they hadn't.

"Do you think that matters? Do you think I care whether it's fair or whether he was adequately warned? I'm _hurting _him. Every time I turn around, I'm hurting him again." She was speaking quickly, frantically, and her heart sounded like it was going to beat out of her chest. I was a monster for having caused this. With so much else already on the line, how could I have given her yet another thing to worry about?

"I'm a hideous person," she spat, and I simply couldn't listen to her misplaced fury any longer. _I'd _done this. Why wasn't she angry with me? I hugged her to me, trying to calm her down like I was normally able to do, but this was beyond my ability to fix.

"No, you're not," I argued, but she was already shaking her head.

"I am! What's wrong with me?" She was violently pulling away from my grasp, and I worried she would hurt herself in an attempt to get away. "I have to go find him."

"Bella, he's already miles away, and it's cold."

"I don't care. I can't just _sit _here." Bella was pulling her boots on and scrambling for the door. "I have to – I have to . . ."

She couldn't seem to find her words as she threw herself into the icy chill of the morning air. I followed silently behind her, wondering if she was really planning on running off into the woods, when there was an army of newborns – newborns who'd been studying _her _scent, no less – quickly approaching.

_Just let him go. You can't have it both ways, leech-lover_, Seth was thinking, eyes fixed on Bella. I shot a glare at him, but he was unapologetic. One of the more pleasant minds to listen to, I wasn't used to him speaking so harshly, but I supposed it was to be expected. What Jacob had heard, now the entire pack knew. Of course, none of them would take the news of Bella and my engagement as personally as Jacob, but I was sure they were all equally offended by the idea. That anyone would ever willingly choose this life was beyond any of their comprehension. In truth, it was beyond mine as well, but I'd long given up trying to understand Bella's decisions. I was now trying to simply accept them – graciously.

Bella slowed down when she reached the forest's edge, and I thought she'd come to her senses. Then, I watched in horror as she stepped into the woods, a look of sheer determination on her face. I reached out to grab her hand, and she struggled futilely to break free.

"You can't go after him. Not today. It's almost time. And getting yourself lost wouldn't help anyone, regardless." She continued her attempt to break free, though she knew it was pointless. I watched as her eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry I did that."

"You didn't do anything. It's my fault. I did this. I did everything wrong. I could have . . . When he . . . I shouldn't have . . . I . . . I . . ."

The tears were flowing freely now, and I tried desperately to console her. "Bella, Bella," I pleaded, pulling her into my arms. She was nearly hyperventilating, and I felt a sharp stab of pain as I realized with more clarity than I ever had, exactly how closely Bella was bound to Jacob. Just as the severity of his reaction had surprised me, Bella's desperation to take away his pain was startling. I'd been underestimating her feelings for him for so long. I'd been happier in my delusion.

"I should have – told him – I should – have said – " She paused, gasping for breath, then her eyes met mine. "He shouldn't have – found out like this."

I knew in that moment what I had to do, what I owed her for having caused her all this pain. I hated it, but it wasn't about me. It was about fixing what I'd done wrong. The hardest part of all, though, was knowing that I could lose her. After everything we'd been through, one foolish moment on my part might have been the thing to finally push Bella right into Jacob's arms.

"Do you want me to see if I can bring him back, so that you can talk to him? There's still a little time." It was difficult to conceal the pain in my voice, and I was thankful for the fact that Bella's face was still pressed up against my chest. I didn't want her to see the agony that was surely written all over my face. She nodded and I shut my eyes against the pain. "Stay by the tent. I'll be back soon."

I ran before she could look up at me. It was more difficult than I could have imagined, running away from her when she'd pleaded so long with me to stay. A million thoughts ran through my mind as I went to find Jacob. As much as it pained me to admit it, I'd never been more certain of how deeply he cared for Bella. I'd seen his mind more clearly in the last twenty-four hours than I ever had before. He'd reminded me of how close she had actually been to moving on, when I'd been gone for so many months. He'd proven time and again that he was strong enough, and determined enough to keep her safe. Could I really be angry with him for loving her? Loving her was all I knew how to do anymore.

I certainly couldn't blame Bella if she loved him in return. He'd been there to pick up the broken pieces I'd so foolishly left behind. He'd trusted her enough to share his secret with her, even when he'd been instructed to keep his distance. He'd defied his pack, his _brothers_, to be with her, and now, he was about to fight alongside his mortal enemies to keep her safe. I could hate him until the end of time, but I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that, in many ways, Jacob deserved Bella. And she deserved to be happy.

_Stinking, filthy, disgusting bloodsucker, just waiting for us to take out this army – pave the way for him to marry _my _Bella, and then kill her! Turn her into a freak. A monster. Make her – no. Not Bella! He can't do this. I won't let him. _

"Jacob." I kept my voice calm, even. He was still in his wolf form, and I could hear how out of control he was. I didn't doubt for a moment that he would kill me if I gave him the opportunity.

_What are you doing here, you disgusting – _

"Jacob," I repeated, maintaining eye contact. "I know you're upset, but I need you to listen to me."

_No! I don't owe you _anything!

"But if I'm asking for Bella?"

His eyes widened for a split second before a violent snarl pulled at his mouth. _You know what, I don't __owe her anything either. All I've ever done is help her, be there for her, _love her_, dammit! And for what? Nothing! She's marrying you. She's going to let you turn her into a killer, assuming you don't bleed her dry first. Would she even care if you did? Would you? All in the name of love, right? It's worth the risk – _

"Enough!" My voice was laced with contempt and my fists were clenched. I could feel my lips curl back over my teeth, and it was taking every ounce of self control I had not to attack. He should suffer for speaking such slanderous lies. "You will _not _speak of things you know nothing about."

Something in my tone must have told him he was treading on very thin ice. Even his mind quieted down, and he sat back on his hind quarters. _Why are you here? _he asked, struggling to calm his mind.

"Bella was very upset when you left."

_She didn't even know I was there._

"I informed her."

_Well, why the hell did you do that?_

"Because she deserved to know."

_And now she's pissed because I ran off? Why should I care if she's mad at me?_

"She's not angry with you. She's not even angry with me, though she has every right to be. She's angry with herself."

_That's a stupid thing to – _

"Do not _ever_ call Bella stupid. I'll admit, her reaction was – unexpected. And not one I have particularly enjoyed witnessing. She cares about you. I suppose I have no one to blame but myself for that. She is under the impression that your pain is her fault. I'd like to think that all she wants is to apologize, but I fear there's more to it than that."

_More to it? Does she – ?_

I couldn't stand to listen to him work out what I'd already started to fear. I continued quickly. "So, to answer your question, I am here because Bella is inconsolable, and the only way I can see to calm her down is to bring you back to her. If you'll agree to this, I suggest we both run very quickly and get this over with. The newborns are not far away, and it wouldn't surprise me if Sam ordered you back to the clearing very soon."

I didn't need to wait for his response. I could see in his eyes that he, like myself, could deny Bella nothing. I turned and began my run back to the campsite, with Jacob trailing close behind me. I knew what I would have to do when I got there, and the thought of it nearly stopped me in my tracks. I would have to leave Bella alone with Jacob. There was no other way to ensure her decision was what she truly desired. It was a simple truth I'd come to know very well, that Bella tended to care about those she loved more than herself. With me there, how could I ever be sure she wasn't editing her words to Jacob, to save me from the pain? She still seemed to be trying to find a way to protect us both.

I slowed down when Bella came back into my sight. She was pacing, and Seth was staring nervously into the woods. I heard Jacob phase from a few feet behind me. Seth must have smelled me before he saw me, and he growled as his mind began preparing for battle. I almost smiled as I realized he was readying himself to protect Bella.

"It's just us, Seth," Jacob told him.

I was surprised when Seth walked up to me before Jacob. _Listen up, Edward, Sam has a message for you. Actually, it's a message from the psychic. She told Sam she saw something, and you needed to know about it. She said, 'The Volturi have decided to intervene.' Sam says she can't tell exactly when they're coming, but she's keeping a close eye on them. Do you understand all this?_

I nodded, hardly able to wrap my mind around something else going wrong. How many more things could be stacked against us? "Yes, that's all we need," I muttered. "I suppose we shouldn't be surprised. But the timing is going to be very close. Please have Sam ask Alice to try to nail the schedule down better."

_Will do. Then do you promise to explain what's going on? Everybody seemed pretty upset about this._

I nodded absently, but my attention was fixed on Bella. "Bella," I whispered, watching her as she watched Jacob. He wasn't looking at her, and when she turned to meet my gaze, I saw she was close to tears again. "There's a bit of a complication. I'm going to take Seth a little ways away and try to straighten it out. I won't go far, but I won't listen, either. I know you don't want an audience, no matter which way you decide to go."

The words were nearly impossible to utter, though I'd been silently practicing them the entire run back to her. Uncharacteristically, Bella didn't even attempt a smile for my benefit. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I felt in my gut it wasn't a good sign.

"Hurry back," she said quietly. I leaned down to kiss her softly, wondering somewhere in the back of my mind if it was the last time I would feel her lips on mine.

I didn't open my eyes until I'd turned away, and my feet were carrying me quickly into the surrounding trees. I breathed in the forest air, trying to clear my mind so I could focus on the problem at hand. Seth was only a few steps behind me, and I heard him asking me to slow down. He wanted answers, but those answers were going to have to wait a few minutes longer. I needed to get away, for Bella's sake and my own.

I didn't stop running until the last traces of Jacob's thoughts had disappeared from my mind.


	22. Snap Decision

A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay, but this one was hard. Really hard. And I hope y'all weren't kidding when you told me you liked long chapters, because it sorta got away from me. I took some liberties at the beginning . . . I always liked to think Edward was a little more in-the-know than Bella thought he was. Maybe I just like to think that because I kinda wanted to smack her in face in this chapter. Who knows. Anyway, enjoy. Here's to finally getting to rip Victoria's head off! :)

Snap Decision

_Dude, how far away are we going, anyway? Edward? Hey, wait up._

I could vaguely hear Seth calling me, but I had no intention of stopping until Jacob's voice was completely out of my head. I'd promised Bella privacy, and I was going to give it to her. Plus, it seemed like a really good idea to have him out of immediate striking distance, in case things didn't go . . . in my favor. _Not that I would actually attack him, _I thought, sighing. Bella truly did hold my fate in her hands at that moment. There was nothing I could do but wait.

When I was content that I'd put enough distance between us, I stopped in my tracks and waited for Seth. He seemed to be trying to rationalize my quick exit.

_Guess it makes sense. That's not a conversation he'd want to hear. Jeez, what's it gonna be like in the pack if she actually ends up with Jacob –_

My snarl stopped his thoughts, and his eyes were wide as he trotted up beside me.

_Sorry. It's just . . . none of us were expecting this._

"I know the feeling."

_Are you gonna go after Jake if Bella picks him over you? 'Cuz I know I just joined the pack, and I'm itching for a fight they'll actually let me participate in, but I really don't mind you, and don't particularly want to kill you, and . . . _

"Enough." I'd already told Jacob I wouldn't fight him, no matter what Bella's decision was, and I wasn't particularly in the mood to discuss it with Seth. My chest was tight, and there was an ache in the pit of my stomach like I'd never felt before. I was worried. Worried about what I _would _do if Bella chose Jacob. Worried about what Jacob would do if after all this, Bella turned him down again. Perhaps I should have left Seth at the campsite. What if he was angry, and phased too close to her?

To top it all off, for the first time since the wolves had joined our fight, I was worried for the safety of our family. Not because of the newborns – that fight would be over before Emmett had had time to really start enjoying himself – but because Alice had seen the Volturi. It seemed unlikely, after all the devastation they'd already allowed, that they'd chosen now to come to Forks to put an end to it. I would need to talk to Alice directly, see exactly what she'd seen, but I was fairly certain they were coming to check on Bella. I also had the feeling they were hoping to find most of our family obliterated, so Alice and I would have no reason to stay behind. Aro wanted nothing more than for us to join them in Italy.

_So, are you going to fill me in on all this Volturi stuff? Who are they, and why is everyone so freaked out?_

"The Volturi are very powerful. That's the most important thing you need to understand about them. They are not like us in their beliefs. Human life holds no value to them. They do not tolerate humans having knowledge of vampires, and Bella and I escaped their punishment only because they were certain Bella would soon be one of us. The fact that she is still human is definitely a problem."

_Well, how many of them are there? Can't we just take them out when we're done with these new vamps?_

"That would not be possible. In fact, it's very important that none of the pack be anywhere near us when we speak with them. They would not think twice about killing all of you – "

_We'd stop them. Let us help!_

A half-smile pulled at my lips. Now I understood why the pack had been so insistent on keeping Seth out of the fight. He was headstrong and impulsive, and that would get him in trouble.

"I appreciate your willingness to help, but I assure you, it wouldn't do any good. Our best chance at coming out of this encounter alive will be to act diplomatically, and to focus on the facts. Bella will be one of us very soon."

_Assuming she still wants you._

My eyes clenched shut, and he looked instantly sympathetic.

_I didn't mean it like that. I just meant, you know, if she chooses Jacob and doesn't want you to turn her into a bl– I mean, one of you any more, then what are these Volturi going to do?_

That was a very good question, and one that I didn't think I had it in me to consider. "I don't think that will happen," I said, glad I still sounded somewhat sure of the fact. "Bella was very upset that she hurt Jacob, but I still believe her mind is made up about the life she's choosing. She just agreed to marry me."

_Yeah, that part I heard. Did you really need to spill it to Jake like that? Right before the fight? You had to know how much it would piss him off._

"I am sorry for the timing, but I felt he deserved to know."

_But was that really your call to make? Don't you think he should have heard it from Bella, when she was ready?_

I wanted to argue with him, but deep down, I knew he was right. It bothered me that Bella didn't want to announce our engagement to anyone. It was killing me that she'd given me her ring back, even if her reasons had made sense. I wanted everyone to know, Jacob included, and perhaps that desire had caused me to act out of line.

"Perhaps you're right. Do you think Jacob would accept an apology from me?"

_I think that depends on what's happening right now._

I'd been trying so hard not to think about it, not to imagine exactly what was happening right at that moment, but Seth was forcing my thoughts. All I could think was, _please, Bella, stay with me. I need you._

It wasn't doing me any good wondering what was going on, and I searched for a distraction. I would have my answer soon enough – which made me feel better and worse at the same time.

"Seth, can you ask Sam to go find Alice again? I need to know if she has any more knowledge of when the Volturi will be arriving. All we can hope for at this point is that they don't show up until after the fight."

_Sure thing. Sam! Go get the psychic._

"She has a name," I muttered.

_Sorry, force of habit. The rest of them – _

"I know. It's all right." It wasn't Seth that was upsetting me. It only took a moment for the rest of the pack's minds to join in. Of course, they must have been there the whole time, just muted into the background. Ironically, I realized the pack must have learned how to block out the noises in their heads just as I'd had to.

_Is Jake _ever _gonna get here? He'll miss the whole fight if he doesn't hurry up._

_ What's going on up there, anyway?_

_ Yeah, I thought he was on his way back and then he disappeared again. Is he _still _with Bella?_

_ Seth, what's going on? Is Jacob with you?_

_ No, he's with Bella. They're – _

He paused, his eyes meeting mine for a split second before he ducked his head to the ground.

_They're discussing something._

_ Well, Sam wants him back here. Now. And if he's not gonna phase so he can hear that order, then you'd better go get him._

_ Got it. Give me five minutes._

Seth shocked me, then, phasing right before my eyes. "This is for you, not them," he explained. "Edward, listen. I know this whole mess is making you crazy, but I gotta go get Jake. I understand that you don't want Bella left alone, so I think you need to stay close enough to me to hear when we're about to leave. It's just . . ." He paused like he wasn't sure quite how to phrase it. "Well, Sam wants him back, _fast_, so he's gonna phase. As soon as he does – "

"His thoughts will be in your head, and the rest of your brothers' as well. I'll hear everything that happened between him and Bella, in stereo," I finished.

"Whether you want to or not."

"Thank you. I'm not sure I deserve the kindness you're showing me, but I'm grateful for it nonetheless."

"You're not so bad. For a stinky leech," he added with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes and managed a small laugh, glad at least to have one friend in the pack. Carlisle would be thrilled. He'd always beeen convinced that, given time, the wolves would begin to accept that we truly were different from the Cold Ones they'd always feared.

A moment later, Seth phased back. With a knowing look, he motioned back toward the campsite with his head. His expression was weary, almost sympathetic.

"Don't worry. I'm prepared for any outcome." I attempted a smile.

He grunted, though it sounded almost like a laugh. _Yeah. Sure you are._

I tried to keep Jacob blocked out as long as I could, determined to give Bella the privacy I'd promised her for as long as possible. I thought about everything and nothing, concentrating hardest on Seth's rhythmic steps, and the way his mind turned itself over to instinct as he ran. It reminded me of how I used to think about nothing when I ran – it was the time when I felt the most free. Now, I found myself thinking about Bella when I ran, usually because I was running to get back to her. That line of thinking, of course, forced me think about her and what I would find when we were together again.

Seth's voice was suddenly in my head. _Edward, stay back, okay? Just hang out for a minute. You really don't want to see this. _

But of course, I could. I could see everything. I was in Seth's mind, and Jacob's, and it was my own private hell. Jacob and Bella were locked together in a tight embrace, her fingers knotted in his hair as she pulled him closer. He was kissing her, and she was not protesting in the least. I wondered briefly if she'd asked him to, because whether she was protesting or not, I _had _promised to break his jaw if he kissed her without her permission. And I was a vampire of my word.

It was impossible to ignore her body language, though. She was clinging to him, and when he finally pulled away – _he _pulled away, not her, I realized with a stab of pain – she looked up at him almost dreamily. The only time I'd ever felt pain anywhere near what I felt in that moment, was when I thought I'd lost her forever. I tried to console myself with the knowledge that this time, at least, she was alive and safe, even if she wasn't with me.

The whole scene, miserable enough on its own, was made much worse by the fact that I was seeing her through his eyes. It was like I could feel every emotion pulsing through his body, and I wondered for a moment how Jasper could stand the feeling. I wasn't myself. I was furious at Jacob, and in agony at seeing my Bella in someone else's arms, yet I could still feel Jacob's joy resonating through it all. It was infuriating.

"I have to leave," I heard him whisper. I wished I hadn't seen the flash of terror in Bella's eyes, but it was there, as clear as her contentment as she'd stood enfolded in his arms.

"No," she pleaded.

"I won't be long." _She doesn't want me to leave. She wants me with her. She _wants _me._

I was frozen where I was standing, because I heard what he wanted to do a moment before he did it. And I was powerless to stop it.

"But one thing first . . ."

My heart sink as I watched him kiss her again, his mind endlessly repeating, _Bella, I love you._ When he pulled away again, he hugged her body to his and said, "_That _should have been our first kiss. Better late than never."

Bella's face was pressed against Jacob's shoulder, so he didn't see when she began to cry. Seth was watching with confusion and curiosity as the tears began to fall.

_Humans are so weird sometimes . . . _he thought, finally stepping through the trees and making his presence known. Bella looked startled, and then embarrassed, as she realized Seth had seen everything. She was blushing from ear to ear as Jacob headed toward to clearing with an easy, "I'll be right back."

I watched through Seth's mind as he and Bella were locked in a very pointed stare. Seth was still baffled by her expression, and even found himself wishing he could read her mind, as I so often did. Bella's eyes were still filled with tears, though they'd stopped falling down her cheek. Her breathing was shallow, and she looked as if she was about to collapse. Eventually, she retreated to the tent, and I waited as Seth resumed the position of watch dog. I took a few more steps until Seth came into view. He was pacing nervously, eyes wide as he stared into the trees and waited for me to come out.

_Edward, I know you're there, and I know you saw that. Don't freak out, all right? I mean, don't, like, go off and try to kill Jacob, okay?_

I rolled my eyes, though I understood his concern for his brother. Knowing he would be worried if I stayed hidden much longer, I took the few steps needed to reenter the campsite. It felt like a strange, insignificant gesture, considering all that had happened, but I shrugged my shoulders at Seth and attempted a half-smile. He sat down, shoulders slumped down and looking relieved.

I stood staring at the tent for awhile longer, still unsure of what Bella was going to say to me. She'd kissed Jacob, yes, but did it mean she wanted to be with him, or only that she didn't want to lose him? She'd cried after the kiss, and I knew Bella well enough to be certain they were not tears of joy. She was conflicted, and I supposed I had no one to blame but myself for that.

I'd known for a long time that Bella's feelings for Jacob went far deeper than she'd ever been willing to admit to herself. I had hoped, in the beginning, that her feelings were mostly that of friendship. After all, he'd been a friend to her long before I'd left. Then, when I'd made the foolish mistake of taking myself out of her life, he helped make her whole again. Just as I'd never forgive myself for having made his presence necessary, I would never stop being grateful that he was there to bring her back – to make her Bella again.

It was impossible not to see the way her eyes lit up when she saw him, and how worried she got when he wasn't happy. She loved spending time in La Push with him and his friends. Bella fit into Jacob's life far better than I would have imagined, and, yet again, I knew I was to blame for that. She'd had plenty of practice with creatures of myths by the time she found out what Jacob was. If she hadn't already known that vampires existed – and managed to lead a _fairly_ ordinary life – would she have accepted him so easily?

I was lost in my thoughts, rationalizing all the reasons I might have to accept why Bella would want to be with Jacob. It was with a very heavy heart that I finally joined her in the tent, the ache in my chest intensifying when I saw her. She was lying with her face buried in her sleeping bag, and I could tell she'd started crying again. I sat down beside her and ran my fingers through her hair. It was tangled and slightly damp, and I felt her shiver beneath my touch.

"Are you all right?"

"No. I want to die."

"That will never happen. I won't allow it."

She let out a low, miserable groan. "You might change your mind about that."

She must not have realized how much I had seen, and I was content to let her think I'd still been miles away. She was upset, and I had no desire to make her feel worse.

"Where's Jacob?" I asked.

"He went to fight."

I paused for a moment, reluctantly letting in the voice I'd been trying to block out.

_So amazing, so perfect. I can't believe it. She kissed me. She _kissed _me. And she was totally into it. Really, really into it . . . _

I heard Seth's voice for a split second, and was surprised to find it was directed at me. _Sorry, man. _A moment later, the hum of the pack joined in.

_I can't believe she kissed him. _

_ We're never gonna hear the end of this._

_ Jake, I swear if I catch you thinking about this during the fight, _I'll _rip your head off. _

_ Yeah, don't go spoiling our fun with your pathetic little love life. We seriously don't want to hear about it._

_ Will you guys just shut up! If you don't like it, don't listen!_

_ Right, like that's possible. I mean, there's only so much you can ignore when you're practically shouting it._

_ Yeah, get your head back where it belongs – on the fight!_

As Seth starting wondering whether or not Jacob would be too distracted to fight, he found himself unwillingly replaying the scene over again in his mind.

_Jeez, I'm gonna throw up if I have _that _stuck in my head all day._

To both of our endless frustration, Seth couldn't get the image out of his mind, and I tried not to cringe as the pain stabbed at my heart all over again. In a desperate attempt at self-preservation, I reminded myself that there were still missing pieces of the puzzle. I had been keeping my word, not listening in on Bella's conversation with Jacob, so I didn't know what had brought them to that moment. Desperate to get some insight into what had led up to their kiss, I forced myself to focus in on Jacob's mind.

Just like I figured he would be, Jacob was watching the scene play out like a movie again and again in his mind. He, of course, had a tendency to see things exactly the way he wanted to – like it had been the most perfect and romantic of settings. It was fortunate for me that his brothers were not quite as biased.

_Dude, stop obsessing. It's not like she declared her love for you or anything._

_ Yeah, from what I can see, she only asked you to kiss her because you were being an idiot._

Much to Jacob's dismay, laughter erupted through the pack as they recalled Jacob's speech to Bella. He could sugar-coat it as much as he wanted in his own mind, but there was no hiding the truth from the pack.

_Just because Bella thought kissing you was a better alternative than letting you run off and die, doesn't mean she's ever gonna ask you to do it again. _

"Oh," I breathed, starting to understand a bit better. And feeling more than a little smug. I couldn't stop a small laugh from escaping. "And I thought _I _fought dirty. He makes me look like the patron saint of ethics." Bella's breath caught and I heard her heart jump. She was peaking up at me with pleading, apologetic eyes. "I'm not mad at you, love," I promised. "Jacob's more cunning than I gave him credit for. I do wish you hadn't asked him, though."

She buried her face in the sleeping bag again. "Edward, I . . . I . . . I'm –"

"Shh." I reached out to touch her cheek, wishing she would really look at me. If she saw my expression, she'd know I wasn't mad at her. I hadn't even really been mad before. Hurt, and very unsure of what the future would hold for us, yes – but never mad. Now, with the new understanding that she'd only acted because she thought she was protecting Jacob, I was practically giddy. There was certainly no reason for her to be feeling guilty.

He'd manipulated her, and done a remarkably good job of it. The only one who should be feeling any guilt here was Jacob, though I knew better than to expect him to feeling anything of the sort. From what I'd heard, he had actually been expecting her _not _to say the words, and contemplating whether or not she would punch him again if he kissed her anyway.

It was killing me to watch Bella torment herself with unneeded guilt. "That's not what I meant," I said softly. "It's just that he would have kissed you anyway – even if you hadn't fallen for it – and now I don't have an excuse to break his face. I would have really enjoyed that, too."

"Fallen for it?"

"Bella, did you really believe he was that noble? That he would go out in a flame of glory just to clear the way for me?" Reluctantly, Bella lifted her eyes to meet mine. Her lips were curled up into the cutest pout, and I had to hold back another chuckle as the tension lifted even further. It was amazing how quickly everything disappeared with the realization that my future with Bella was as certain as ever.

"Yes, I did believe that," she mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed. It wasn't my intention, though I understood her response.

"You're such a bad liar, you'll believe anyone who has the least bit of skill."

"Why aren't you angry with me?" she asked, still sounding miserable. I wished I could take all her hurt away as easily as she'd taken mine away. "Why don't you hate me? Or haven't you hear the whole story yet?"

"I think I got a fairly comprehensive look. Jacob makes vivid mental pictures. I feel almost as bad for his pack as I do for myself. Poor Seth was getting nauseated. But Sam is making Jacob focus now."

Bella didn't appear to be appeased in the slightest, and I wondered if there was anything I could say to make her understand. "You're only human." I spoke softly, a small smile on my lips, but she wasn't looking at me. I continued running my fingers through her hair, trying to pour all of my love into the gesture since she couldn't see it on my face.

"That's the most miserable defense I've ever heard."

"But you are human, Bella. And, as much as I might wish otherwise, so is he . . . . There are holes in your life that I can't fill. I understand that."

"But that's not _true_." She was exasperated and instantly defensive. Always trying to reassure me of her decisions. "That's what makes me so horrible. There are no holes."

"You love him." It was easier to utter the words than I would have imagined. Perhaps it was because no matter how true the statement was, I knew it would never change anything. Bella was mine, and I was hers. She'd chosen me and my family – my entire _world _– long ago, and she was as committed to that today as she'd ever been.

"I love you more."

"Yes, I know that, too. But . . . when I left you, Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was the one to stitch you back up again. That was bound to leave its mark – on both of you. I'm not sure those kinds of stitches dissolve on their own. I can't blame either of you for something I made necessary. I may gain forgiveness, but that doesn't let me escape the consequences."

"I should have known you'd find some way to blame yourself. Please stop. I can't stand it."

"What would you like me to say?"

"I want you to call me every bad name you can think of, in every language you know. I want you to tell me that you're disgusted with me and that you're going to leave so that I can beg and grovel on my knees for you to stay."

"I'm sorry. I can't to that." I sighed, thinking of all the reasons why I couldn't and wishing I could convey them to Bella. She still seemed to be worrying about my feelings, and wondering why I wasn't more hurt by the knowledge that she loved Jacob, too. Maybe that was the problem to begin with. She was endlessly trying to only love one of us, when I'd already accepted that she could love us both. In fact, I had no doubt that she loved us both, but in different ways. I was content because I knew which love was the one she wanted to fill her life with. And I would spend forever grateful for whatever miracle had caused her to desire the love we shared above all else.

I watched as Bella tried to reconcile my seemingly easy acceptance, but she just kept shaking her head in disbelief. "At least stop trying to make me feel better. Let me suffer. I deserve it."

"No."

"You're right. Keep on being too understanding. That's probably worse."

I was about to argue with her further, but Seth's voice interrupted my thoughts and filled my mind.

_Edward, you two are going to need to put this on hold for awhile. Your psychic says the army will be in the clearing in about five minutes._

I took a deep breath, having almost forgotten where we were and why we were there. I felt an unexpected twinge of guilt as I was reminded that everything – the night I'd spent watching Bella in Jacob's arms, their kiss on the mountaintop, _all _of it – was ultimately because of me. We were sitting here, waiting for all the ones we loved to fight an army, because of me. If I'd had the strength to walk away from Bella in the first place, leave her to her life and let her live in a world without monsters and violence –

"It's getting close," Bella said, stopping my incredibly painful line of thinking. Her voice was nearly shaking as she watched my worried expression, and I knew it was probably the last time I would be able to bring myself to offer her an out. If there was any chance some part of her desired a normal life – or as normal a life as Jacob could offer her – I would find a way to give it to her. No matter how much pain it caused me.

"Yes, a few more minutes now. Just enough time to say one more thing . . . ." I almost had to shut my eyes against the pain of what I was trying to say. I'd never been more conflicted, because I'd never been so close to having all of my selfish desires.

I could see it all so clearly. Bella, beautiful and perfect on our wedding day, promising herself to me forever. Then, she would say goodbye to her human life and join my family in the truest sense of the word _forever. _I would never have to worry about her safety again, or fear a world without her by my side. It was everything I feared, and everything I needed, all at once.

It was so close, and the immediacy of it only made me more resolved to give her one final chance to change her mind. When I found the courage to speak, my voice was barely a whisper. "_I _can be noble, Bella. I'm not going to make you choose between us. Just be happy, and you can have whatever part of me you want, or none at all, if that's better. Don't let any debt you feel you owe me influence your decision."

I don't know quite the reaction I was expecting, but I was shocked when anger flashed in her eyes. "Dammit, stop that!"

I stared at her, confused and a little concerned. I needed her to know I was giving her the option, not simply placating her. "No – you don't understand. I'm not just trying to make you feel better, Bella, I really mean it."

"I _know _you do. What happened to fighting back? Don't start with the noble self-sacrifice now! Fight!"

"How?" I asked, still completely clueless. My confusion only intensified as she closed the tiny bit of space between us and hurled herself into my lap. Her arms locked tightly around my neck, and her face grew red as her eyes brimmed with tears.

"I don't care that it's cold here. I don't care that I stink like a dog right now. Make me forget how awful I am. Make me forget him. Make me forget my own name. Fight back!"

Determination flashed across her face for the briefest of seconds before she lunged at me and pressed her lips to mine. I wasn't as ignorant as the last time. I knew what she was suggesting.

"Careful, love," I warned, hoping she wouldn't feel crushed and rejected as she had before.

"No." She was persistent, but it was a battle that was lost before it had begun. There was nothing right about this moment. It wasn't romantic or intimate. There was no bed, no flowers, and I was pretty sure if she remembered Seth was outside, it would have turned her face an even deeper shade of red.

I carefully pushed her back until I was looking into her eyes. They were fierce, though already less determined than they'd been only moments before. "You don't have to prove anything to me."

"I'm not trying to prove something. You said I could have any part of you I wanted. I want this part. I want _every _part." She pulled me closer, kissing me again, and I allowed it only because I was so afraid to see the hurt and rejection on her face again. I moved her gently away again when I felt her heated skin beneath my touch.

"Perhaps this isn't the best moment for that."

"Why not?" she asked, already defeated.

"Firstly, because it _is _cold." I noticed her shiver slightly as her raised body temperature started to come back down, so I pulled the sleeping bag around her protectively.

"Wrong," she argued. "Firstly, because you are bizarrely moral for a vampire."

"All right," I laughed. "I'll give you that. The cold is second. And thirdly . . . well, you do actually stink, love." She sighed as I cringed melodramatically. "Fourthly," I paused, reminding myself that this was a particularly sensitive subject for Bella. I didn't want her thinking for a moment that I didn't want her. Because I did, so much. "We _will _try, Bella. I'll make good on my promise. But I'd much rather it wasn't in reaction to Jacob Black."

Embarrassment took over every feature and she hid her face against my chest. "And fifthly . . ."

"This is a very long list."

I laughed again, glad she sounded only moderately perturbed. I hoped she knew that when we did try, I was going to do everything in my power to make it perfect.

"Yes, but did you want to listen to the fight or not?"

As if she, too, had forgotten where we were, she pulled her face back, eyes widened. Seth was howling outside, a forlorn call to his brothers whom he couldn't be with. I heard Bella's heart start to race, and all the color left her face.

"It's going to be fine, Bella. We've got skill, training, and surprise on our side. It will be over very soon. If I didn't truly believe that, I would be down there now – and you'd be here, chained to a tree or something along those lines."

"Alice is so small."

I laughed for a moment at the thought of Alice fighting some huge, ignorant newborn. He would lunge at her, and before he'd know what was happening, he'd be on his back, locked in a headlock. She would probably smile angelically before Jasper would do the honors of ripping his head off for her.

"That might be a problem . . . if it were possible for someone to catch her."

_Can't believe I'm stuck up here. Missing out on everything. This is _so _unfair._

Seth was complaining, pacing back and forth as he realized just how close the army was.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked, misinterpreting his cries.

"He's just angry that he's stuck here with us. He knows the pack kept him out of the action to protect him. He's salivating to join them." Bella narrowed her eyes in disapproval.

I watched through the eyes of the wolves as Seth showed me everything that was happening, and I felt a wave of gratitude for the connection to the fight. As certain as I was that things would go smoothly, the frustration of not knowing what was going on would have been almost unendurable. I might have been tempted to chose a closer vantage point, one that would have allowed me to hear everyone's thoughts, though the closer we were to the newborns, the more danger Bella would have been in. Just one stray newborn who caught her scent, and all our hiding would have been for nothing.

"The newborns have reached the end of the trail – it worked like a charm, Jasper's a genius – and they've caught the scent of the ones in the meadow, so they're splitting into two groups now, as Alice said. Sam's taking us around to head off the ambush party."

I barely realized I was speaking as one of the pack. When I noticed Bella watching me cautiously, I whispered, "Breathe, Bella."

Seth's connection with the pack was amazing. I actually found myself in awe of the wolves, the way they thought and acted as one, as those who threatened their safety grew closer. I worried it would be hard to follow the action with all their thoughts pouring into his mind at once, but their collective voice was a hum of absolute unison. They were prepared, and nothing was going to stop their victory.

As the first newborn entered the wolves' line of sight, I felt the excitement building. I wished I could hear my family as clearly as the wolves, but I trusted if anything went wrong, one of the pack would notice, and I would hear. As the army stepped into the clearing, all coherent thoughts disappeared. The wolves were acting on pure instinct. It wasn't long before I began to hear the medley of cracks and snaps I recognized instantly as vampires being torn apart. My arm tightened protectively around Bella

"The first group is in the clearing. We can hear the fighting."

Above all the other noise, I suddenly heard my family. Well, Emmett, at least. He was laughing, and shouting, "Is that all you've got?" I couldn't see him, since the pack was so focused on the enemy, but I could imagine his face all too well.

"We can hear Emmett," I told Bella. "He's enjoying himself." I didn't look down at Bella, afraid seeing her would make me lose my focus on Seth's mind.

_Over there! _One of the wolves shouted. _There are more of them just behind those trees._

_ Not for long, there won't be._

_ Let me at them. The first group was way too easy._

I watched as the wolves took several careful steps toward the new arrivals. It surprised me to hear them calculating their attack. I knew they mostly relied on instinct, but as the fight progressed, they seemed to be planning their moves more and more. Perhaps I'd underestimated them.

"The second group is getting ready – they aren't paying attention, they haven't heard us yet." I repeated the pack's words, watching the army's approach through their eyes. My teeth clenched together when they were close enough to hear the newborns speaking.

"The girl is here – somewhere."

"No matter what, don't let her escape!"

"No chance of that, my friends. She's so close, I can nearly _taste _her."

I snarled as I watched them practically salivating.

"What?" Bella asked nervously.

"They're talking about you. They're supposed to make sure you don't escape . . ."

"Quickly! There are more of those _creatures _just beyond the trees –"

The moment the wolves' presence been noticed, Leah attacked and took the group's leader down. His back had been to the pack, which was exactly the sort of foolish mistake we'd been counting on this entire time. It was exhilarating to see them respond the way we'd anticipated. I hoped that wherever Jasper was, he was feeling very proud of himself for knowing just what to expect.

"Nice move, Leah! Mmm, she's quite fast." I heard Bella's breath catch. "One of the newborns caught our scent, and Leah took him down before he could even turn." I repeated Seth's words, and it didn't escape my notice that he was including himself in the commentary, itching to be down there with his brothers. "Sam's helping her finish him off. Paul and Jacob got another one, but the others are on the defensive now. They have no idea what to make of us. Both sides are feinting . . . ."

I could feel Seth's agitation as he paced around the campsite. He had a better understanding of the fighting tactics than I would have thought, and I wondered if Sam was aware how helpful he could have been, with a little training.

I focused my attention to Sam – he was practiced, and a natural leader. He was motioning for several of his brothers to come at the nearest group from three different sides. The newborns were learning, faster than we would have liked, and bunching together in groups so they could see multiple lines of attack. Sam seemed to be the only one who recognized it.

"No, let Sam lead. Stay out of the way. Separate them – don't let them protect each other's backs," I said.

I wasn't expecting Seth to be listening to me with so much else going on, but he heard my words and repeated them to his brothers, howling as he yearned to help in whatever way he could. To both of our relief, they listened, and followed Sam's lead. They surrounded the newborns from behind, forcing them forward.

"That's better, drive them toward the clearing."

I felt Bella's fingers clench around mine as her breathing sped up. I was about to reassure her that everything was going perfectly, but I was interrupted by the only thing that could have possibly distracted me from the fight. Everything froze. I heard a sadistic laugh – faint, almost an echo – but it was unmistakeable.

Victoria.

She was close. _Too close,_ I realized miserably. There was no way to get Bella to safety. My arms wrapped tightly around her, and I tore out of the tent, leaving it in scattered pieces on the ground beside us. Seth's eyes were instantly locked with mine.

_What the hell? I can smell it, and it's not one you yours. Did one of those new bloodsuckers get away from the group? I thought you said they'd all stick together!_

I wished there was time to explain, but I knew if Victoria spotted Seth, she would crush him before he had time to realize he was in trouble. Seth might have been ready for the newborns, but there was no way he was ready for Victoria. He wouldn't have time to go get help, I was certain of that. Perhaps if he hid in the trees and caught her by surprise he could be of some help –

"Go, Seth!" I pleaded, before I asked him to do something that would most likely be useless, and almost certainly get him killed. This was my fight. It had been from the very beginning.

And it was going to end today.

The moment Seth was out of sight, I focused all my energy on listening to Victoria. She knew I could hear her – I was sure James had made certain of _that _– and she was very carefully guarding her thoughts. I couldn't tell which direction she was coming from, and I didn't know what her plan of attack was. Of course, she'd been planning it that way. She knew I'd be with Bella, and would be so distracted knowing my family was off fighting, I wouldn't be paying attention to my surroundings.

Her wild excitement couldn't be silenced, though, as much as she was trying. I could hear the hum of her elation that she was finally about to avenge her mate. I caught a fleeting, but vivid, flash of what she wanted to do to Bella, and I fought to keep myself from lunging into the forest that very second.

Instead, I grabbed Bella's waist and moved her out of the center of the campsite, wishing the openness of it didn't make leave us so vulnerable. It was better with her standing alongside the cliff face, knowing Victoria couldn't come up behind us. I was staring wide-eyed into the trees, listening, and anticipating. Wishing with everything in me that someone else was here to guard Bella while I ripped that abomination limb from limb and burned every last piece.

Like an answer to my silent plea, I heard Seth's voice, and relief washed over me. _I'm still here, Edward. I'm not going anywhere. I'll help if I can, I just wish I knew what was going on._

I wanted to tell him, prepare him, but there was simply no time. The best chance we had of Seth being any asset at all was if she didn't know he was there.

"Are they close?" I heard an unfamiliar voice ask her. My hands clenched into fists. She wasn't alone.

"Silence! Not another word until we have them in sight!"

I nearly smiled as I realized this was Victoria's biggest mistake. She might be able to guard her thoughts, but surely her companion wouldn't be as practiced. I listened carefully as his mind replayed the events of the day. He'd been confused when Victoria's plans had started to change, momentarily questioning her motives before reminding himself that he'd sworn to follow her no matter what. The fight was turning into a massacre for those he'd helped create and train, and he was troubled by the way events were playing out. He was young, though definitely not a newborn, and it seemed he was in position of authority. Victoria had chosen him specifically, and he'd always believed it was because she knew he was special. I could heard that he cared deeply for Victoria, and it seemed as if he truly believed she cared for him. That could quite possibly come in very useful.

_I still don't think it's right that we're not helping the others. Are we really just going to let them all die? _He sounded like he wanted to question her, but was afraid of the consequences. I almost felt sorry for him. He was in the dark, nothing more than a pawn in her games.

Suddenly, Victoria's thoughts were screaming at me. She was losing focus, frustrated that my scent was being obscured by another scent, and I realized Jacob must have run back over the path I'd taken to get here.

_ He's here, I know it. I smelled him. And wherever he is, _she _is!_

I instinctively took two more steps back, blocking Bella as best I could. Part of me wanted to look into her eyes so I could promise her I was going to keep her safe. The other part of me knew that nothing could make me take my eyes off the woods in front of us. I wondered for a split second how Alice could have missed this. If everything had been about Victoria getting to Bella, why hadn't she seen her planning. Then, I realized. Victoria knew us too well. She'd done her homework.

The one with her was her puppet. All of the decisions had been his, up until this final one – the one that she didn't make until she caught my scent. I wondered idly if Alice had seen it when she'd finally decided to follow me here, or if she was still busy with the fight.

Seth was no longer paying any attention to the goings on of his brothers. His every thought was focused on what he could do to help Bella and I. I never thought I'd be so grateful for the presence of a wolf. As we both waited silently for our own fight to start, I heard Bella's shaking voice.

"Who?" she asked. I exhaled an agonized breath as I remembered she still didn't know what was happening.

"Victoria. She's not alone. She crossed my scent, following the newborns in to watch – she never meant to fight with them. She made a spur-of-the-moment decision to find me, guessing that you would be wherever I was. She was right. You were right. It was always Victoria."

Still unwilling to tear my eyes from the forest, I listened carefully to Bella's heartbeat. It was surprisingly steady, considering what I'd just told her. My own heart sank at the thought that she was getting too used to danger for even her body to react properly to it.

A moment later, I heard a faint rustling of leaves to our left. The air was still around us – I knew our time for preparation had run out. Victoria's companion was first to step out of the trees. His face was fixed determinedly on Bella, and I fought to remind myself that his entire existence had been a lie, and his hatred toward Bella was merely a product of that. Not that that would stop me from ripping him apart if he made even the slightest motion toward her.

Of course, that must have been the reason Victoria had brought a loyal follower along. She knew if he attacked, my focus would be on stopping him, and Bella would be left unguarded. I shifted my weight again, as if my blocking her from sight would do one shred of good. As I stood protectively in front of Bella, Victoria's face came into view. Immediately, her cold, black eyes locked in on Bella.

She was no longer guarding her thoughts. What point would there be? Her plan had gone perfectly, and she was now standing mere feet away from the girl whose death she believed would avenge her mate. Victory was so close, I could see her twitching as she fought to wait for the perfect moment.

She didn't appear concerned, simply anxious. There was no doubt in her mind that it would all be over very soon. There were two of them, one of which was a fairly new and likely extraordinarily strong vampire, and only me to protect Bella. At least as far as she was aware.

She gestured toward me, silently urging him on. _Come on, Riley. What are you waiting for? Do what you were made to do! _she thought impatiently.

But I couldn't focus on Victoria's thoughts. They weren't important right now. She wasn't going to attack until Riley did. The only thing that mattered was keeping him focused on me. I could see his hesitation as much as I could hear it. He wanted to please Victoria, but he was having a difficult time understanding why this human girl that stood before him was so important.

"Riley." His eyes grew wide and disbelieving as he heard me speak his name.

_How does he know – ? This isn't right, none of this is. He's not like she described at all._

I wasn't so foolish at to believe Riley was feeling the pangs of guilt. I had no doubt the short life he'd lived with Victoria had taught him to be everything most vampires believed they had the right to be. I couldn't try to stop him by appealing to some shred of compassion, because it was far too likely he had none. My only chance was to use his confusion, and Victoria's lies, against him – distract him by shaking his confidence in his maker.

"She's lying to you, Riley. Listen to me. She's lying to you just like she lied to the others who are dying now in the clearing. You know that she's lied to them, that she had _you _lie to them, that neither of you were ever going to help them. Is it so hard to believe that she's lied to you, too?"

_It's not true. I'm different. She loves me._

"She doesn't love you, Riley. She never has. She loved someone names James, and you're no more than a tool to her."

_You'll die for this! _Victoria hissed at me, though her eyes were still locked on Bella. _You'll watch your mate die and when you've suffered like I have, you'll die too!_

Riley turned to Victoria frantically, but she paid him no attention.

"Riley?" I said softly, bringing his attention back to me.

_I should kill you now, for speaking such lies. _His mind was trying to argue with me, but his eyes told me my words were ringing too true for him.

"She knows that I will kill you, Riley. She _wants _you to die so that she doesn't have to keep up the pretense anymore."

His face contorted as he tried to fight the sea of images that flooded his mind, but there were too many questioned moments. Too many times he'd wondered if he cared more deeply than she did. In the beginning, he'd felt unworthy of someone so powerful, but had eventually deluded himself into believing that his ability to control the newborns would make him special in her eyes. Yet, the doubt was still there – and I knew I could fuel the fire.

"Yes – you've see that, haven't you? You've read the reluctance in her eyes. Suspected a false note in her promises. You were right. She's never wanted you. Every kiss, every touch was a lie."

_No. No!_

Then, from the quiet of the wood surrounding us, I heard Seth's mind. He'd been watching closely and he was prepared for what he had to do.

_He's distracted enough, Edward. Let me at him!_

Knowing Seth was close enough to attack at a moment's notice, I chanced two small steps in Riley's direction. I could feel Victoria's excitement as she watched me out of the corner of her eye. This was exactly what she wanted. Every step I took toward Riley was one I took away from her prey. All I had to do what glance in Seth's direction, and he would rip Riley to shreds. A small voice in the back of my mind reminded me that no one should ever die without one final chance for redemption. I didn't expect him to take it, but I knew the words had to be said.

"You don't have to die. There are other ways to live than the way she's shown you. It's not all lies and blood, Riley. You can walk away right now. You don't have to die for her lies."

Then, I heard the same silent laughter that had first alerted me to Victoria's presence. _You really think after he's dined on humans all this time, that he could give it all up for your sorry lot? Fools, all of you. _

I took another tentative step and Riley repositioned himself, mirroring me. Seth was practically salivating, ready to attack.

"Last chance, Riley."

_Victoria? _His eyes were pleading as he looked at his supposed love. There was nothing but fire and hate in her eyes.

"He's the liar, Riley," she said calmly. "I told you about their mind tricks. You know I love only you."

_She loves me. She has to. _His eyes narrowed as his stare returned and locked with mine. I wasn't sure whether he even believed himself in that moment, but I saw with utter certainty that he'd decided to fight for her to the death. My gaze darted to the trees behind Riley for a split second, and that was all it took. Seth's growl echoed and surrounded us. Riley didn't even have time to realize what was happening to him.

"No!" Victoria screamed, but it wasn't a cry of pain for her lost love. It was laced with fear and contempt as she realized I was not alone, and Bella would not be left unprotected for one fraction of a second.

Within seconds, Seth had ripped Riley's hand off and hurled it backward. His teeth snapped, his claws slashed, and Victoria didn't so much as glance in his direction. She was too focused on what had only moments before seemed like a certain victory, but now looked miles away.

Bella. She was frozen my side, and I didn't dare look at her expression. I couldn't stop to think about what witnessing this violent scene was doing to her. I couldn't listen to her racing heart or her gasping breath, because if I did, I might lose focus. Just like Victoria had been so excited and ready for the end to come, so was I. I could end this monster – _forever – _and she would finally stop poisoning our lives.

Content that Seth was more than capable of finishing Riley off, I moved until I was almost completely blocking Bella from Victoria's sight. She snarled and glared at me as I stood protectively in front of Bella.

"No." She tried to infuse her voice with some amount of determination, but I could hear her thinking of an exit strategy. She'd never intended on having to fight me, and although she'd only minutes before been screaming for my death, I knew her plan had always been to kill Bella, and then run.

_Come here, little human, _she taunted, still trying to move around me to get a clear view of Bella. In her mind, she saw a thousand different ways to kill her, most of them taking less than a second. My body tensed as rage built up inside me. Every muscle twitched and ached to destroy her. I watched each step she decided to take before she took it, and she was quickly tiring of my anticipating her every move.

Behind Victoria, I could still see the movement of Seth and Riley's fight, though I wouldn't take my eyes off of Victoria long enough to see any of the details. I heard a crunching sound and Seth cried out, but he quickly assured me, _I'm fine. This leech isn't going anywhere._

Just then, I heard the sounds of another limb being torn from Riley, and his cries of agony stunned Victoria. Her eyes darted to him for the quickest of seconds, though there was no concern for him behind her glance – only fear for herself. She knew in that second that his pain could soon her hers, and her thoughts shifted from those of Bella's demise, to her own escape and survival.

_So much planning – can't leave her – all just a waste._

Her thoughts were jumbled, trying to convince herself to attack, but Riley's screams were still ringing in her ears. Her eyes darted between Bella and me and the forest that could grant her escape. She knew I wouldn't go after her. Even with Seth there to guard Bella, I wouldn't let her out of my sight. She was weaving through the trees, and as I pictured her disappearing into them, I knew as well as she did that it was now or never.

"Don't go, Victoria. You'll never get another chance like this." I hated the image my next words would bring to her – even through her imagination, I could hardly stand to think of Bella being her victim – but I also knew it would give her hope. If she thought perhaps she could still get what she so desired, I might be able to get her to stay and fight – and if she fought me, she would die.

"You can always run later." I slightly emphasized _later, _letting the picture of Bella dead at her feet wash over her. I fought the cringe that surged through my body. "Plenty of time for that. It's what you do, isn't it? It's why James kept you around. Useful, if you like to play deadly games. A partner with an uncanny instinct for escaping. He shouldn't have left you – he could have used your skills when we caught up to him in Phoenix."

_NO! _She snarled and her eyes narrowed. It was a physical effort for her, now, not to lunge at me. Even though it was Bella she wanted, Bella whose death would avenge James, it was me she hated, and everything in her was suddenly bent on my destruction. It was exactly what I wanted. She was no longer focused on Bella, and her thoughts gave away how distracted she was from her original plan. She was being forced to improvise, and as her natural instinct told her to flee, I kept baiting her. It would be over in minutes.

"That's all you ever were to him, though," I continued, ignoring her silent pleas to stop. My words were filling her with doubt, and the pain was almost unmanageable. "Silly to waste so much energy avenging someone who had less affection for you than a hunter for his mount. You were never more than a convenience to him. I would know."

With a grin, I gestured to my head, and as her expression registered understanding, she shrieked and lunged back out of the woods toward me.

_You'll both die for your lies! _She spat as she fought to regain the upper hand. Of course, it was useless. No matter how hard she tried to act on instinct, I saw every move she was going to make. She wouldn't get one step closer to Bella, and the moment she tried, I would make my strike. I'd never taken pleasure in killing – even in my darkest days when I'd killed for the purpose of feeding, it had been hard to feel anything but guilt – but as I watched Victoria circle us, knowing she wanted nothing more than to end us both, I felt a surge of excitement.

I heard Seth cry out in pain again, and it was just enough to catch Victoria's attention. _Once that beast is taken care of, Riley will help me, _she reasoned. She'd always wanted to kill Bella herself, but in her desperation, she began considering commanding Riley to attack Bella while she focused on me. Then, her fists clenched as she watched Seth snarl and lunge, forcing Riley to retreat. _Useless! _she thought, glaring at him.

Her wild gaze then turned to Seth, who was now mere inches away from me. She abruptly remembered a time when James had been tracking a werewolf for sport. James had attacked, provoking him and using the wolf's engrained hatred of vampires to spur him on. All Victoria had ever known of our two kinds was our instinct to kill one another. She couldn't understand this creature in front of her, and his apparent loyalty to me. She wondered briefly whether he'd simply been fighting the vampire closest to him, and now that I was within range, if he would instead fight me.

"No, he won't turn on me." I smiled as another wave of fury took hold of her. "You provided us with a common enemy. You allied us."

_More lies! I've seen his kind before. There could be _no _alliance!_

"Look more closely, Victoria. Is he really so much like the monster James tracked across Siberia?"

_No! Another trick! _She wanted to argue, but she was quickly taking in Seth's protective stance beside me.

"Not the same?" she growled. "Impossible!"

"Nothing is impossible." She was nearly paralyzed by her confusion, and, with Seth guarding Bella, I took the opportunity to move another step closer to her. "Except what you want. You'll never touch her."

_She _will _die today! _she spat, regaining a trace of confidence as she observed the growing space between Bella and I. She tried several times to dart around me, but it was futile. As she willed her instincts to take over so I would have less knowledge of her movement, she crouched to the ground. This, I could see, was her favorite position to strike from, and a tiny smile played at her mouth as she caught sight of her target. She moved infinitesimally closer. I smiled back as I saw her first strike before she made it.

We lunged at the same moment, and as our bodies collided in mid-air, I felt something near adrenaline course through my veins. I felt alive as my fists clenched around her shoulder, my teeth snapping at her neck. I remembered vividly how I'd fought James for Bella's life, and felt grateful that this time, Bella was not laying broken and bleeding beside me. In that fight, I'd been too late to spare her from injury, but this time I would ensure she walked away without feeling one moment of pain.

Victoria clawed at me, desperately trying to get me in a headlock, but I laughed at her efforts, making her impossibly more furious. She spat and snarled as I anticipated each twist and turn. When I finally sank my teeth into her and ripped the first piece of her away, her body froze and her thoughts drifted to Riley, wondered idly if he was still alive. Her vision was blurred as the pain took her, and she knew if she continued, she would fail.

Victoria rolled away from me and leaped back to her feet at the edge of the forest. I took her moment of stillness to glance back toward Seth and Riley. Seth was lying in a heap in front of Bella, and I almost panicked, before realizing his thoughts were too clear and focused for him to be in real trouble. He was waiting – biding his time until Riley was close enough to attack again. He was crafty and cunning, and I was once again filled with gratitude that he had risked his safety to assure mine and Bella's.

Admittedly, I'd been using a bit of decoy myself, letting my attention appear to be focused solely on Seth's well-being. Victoria took the bait exactly like I'd been expecting, not wanting to miss such a prime opportunity, and continuing the fight before she was ready. Seeing her next attack, I hurled my body toward her feet, grabbing her by the ankles and bringing her to her knees. Her teeth were bared, her fingers extended like claws, but she was snapping and grasping at air. As I dug my knee into her back, pinning her completely to the ground, she hissed and snarled, and I knew the end was close.

Then, everything seemed to disappear. I couldn't hear Victoria or Seth or Riley. All I could hear was Bella's sharp intake of air. Victoria and I both froze at the same moment, and, although we should have been staying focused on each other, inexplicably, both our heads snapped up. Bella's eyes were full of what appeared to be a mix of fear and determination. So intent on her expression, I almost didn't see the object she was clenching tightly in her hand. As I listened to her racing heart, my gaze darted to the stone that was pressed to her skin. Understanding washed over me, and I felt a sigh of frustration escape.

_What tricks are you playing, human? _The sound of Victoria's confusion snapped me back to the present, and I realized that Bella's plan, not even fully set into motion, had already had the desired effect. A fraction of a second later, I sent Victoria sailing through the air, and into a nearby tree. As she found her footing, I lunged at Riley, braced myself against his back, and pulled at his arm until it snapped from his body. He wailed as the pain took him, dropping to his knees as Seth charged forward and attcked.

Victoria listened to Riley's cries, showing no remorse for his pain – only happiness that my focus was not on her at that exact moment. She knew it was likely her last clear shot at Bella, so she sprang forward without another thought. With all my strength, I launched Riley's arm straight at her, knocking her backward once again. The tree she hit crumpled beneath her, but it was only seconds before she was ready for yet another attack.

_I've got your back, Edward, _Seth called to me, his voice laced with anticipation and excitement. _Just one last little detail to finish off._

My stare remained locked with Victoria's as we listened to Seth rip Riley to pieces. He cried out for her, but she didn't spare him a glance. We listened to the distinctive sounds of Riley's destruction, and as his shouts disappeared, realization start sinking into Victoria's mind.

_I'm alone. Alone and outnumbered. How did this happen? It was all so perfectly planned! _As her thoughts raced, she began taking small, careful steps backward. When she chanced one final glance at Bella – the revenge she so desperately wanted, so close, yet out of reach – I felt my fists clench and my eyes narrow. My lips were curled back over my teeth, ready to finally end her. She must have read the pure and utter hatred written all over my face, because fear suddenly overshadowed everything else in her mind. For a split second, she didn't even care that she had failed. All she could think of was her own survival.

_Run. _The word echoed through her mind as if she was commanding herself to obey. Forget everything she'd come for, the revenge she thought mattered more than anything else. Leave it all behind. _Run!_

"No. Stay just a little longer."

Then, like her every instinct has been telling her to do, she turned and ran. I greatly enjoyed the knowledge that she was moving as fast as her legs could carry her – and knowing it wouldn't be nearly fast enough. She hadn't even reached the forest when I threw my arms around her neck. This moment had been such a long time coming, the world seemed to move in slow motion, as if granting me time to savor the finality of it all. My teeth clamped down on Victoria's neck, and after I'd ripped a large chunk away from her, I spat it back out onto the ground. I wanted to rid myself of every bit of her, once and for all. Staring with a sick smile at the hole I'd left at the base of her head, I twisted and pulled up, ripping it off in half a second. I threw her head to the ground beside the other mangled pieces of her, and the slow-motion feel of it all allowed me a moment to simply marvel at the fact that I'd finally done this one thing right by Bella.

I'd forever taken away her greatest fear.


	23. Mirror

Hi again, SO sorry for the major delay (for all my fellow HIMYM fans, "Major Delay"). Basically holidays + toddler = no time. Forgive me? Well here we are, so close to the end. I expect the last two chapters to go much more quickly, so keep an eye out. Also, if you haven't already, please add me to your author alert, so as this project ends, we all can stay in touch as other things come up. I'm thinking... Edward one-shot for Isle Esme is imminently imminent. Yeah. :)

Side note/rant... who else thinks it's ridiculous that BD parts 1 and 2 are coming out a year apart when they're filming back to back? Come on, there are rules in Hollywood that OTHER franchises seem to be following just fine (*cough* Harry Potter). I'm just sayin'. OK, rant over, moving on.

Mirror

I'd been collecting pieces of Victoria and Riley for several minutes, and the task was more than a little satisfying. I'd finally put an end to the vampire who had haunted Bella's dreams for so long. Unfortunately, I'd done it right in front of Bella. I still hadn't been able to bring myself to look into her eyes, not with how wildly her heart was still beating. Not knowing how terrified she must be of me.

I feared what I would see if my gaze met hers. There was no doubt in my mind that she was seeing me as every bit the monster I'd always tried so desperately _not _to be. Of course, it had all been necessary. There was no time to lure Victoria out of sight before I destroyed her, no way to keep Bella from witnessing her death.

In some ways, I'd been happy she had seen it. There would never be any question that Victoria was gone, and could never hunt her again. I had certainly enjoyed being the one to finally make her pay for all the pain and fear she'd caused Bella, but I still hated knowing that Bella had seen it first-hand.

_A bunch of pieces flew over that way, _Seth said, motioning with his head to the trees around us. _And I think a few bits of them managed to claw their way under those rocks over there. Totally creepy, by the way. _He shook his head in disgust as he went to retrieve the last few pieces. I followed him, though he didn't particularly need my help. I was just buying time before I would have to face Bella. I could still hear her ragged breathing as I followed Seth into the woods.

_Bella's pretty brave, you know. _Seth met my eyes for a moment before snatching up Riley's torso in his mouth. _Stupid, and way too headstrong for her own good, but brave._

"Yeah, tell me about it," I muttered, remembering in far too vivid of detail the moment Seth was referring to. Bella's hand clutched tightly around a jagged piece of stone, her eyes wild with determination.

_What the hell was she going to do, anyway? Slice herself open?_

"What else?" I sighed, exasperated. "You can thank your tribe for having given her the idea, though." I smiled lightly so he would know I wasn't angry. I was far too grateful for his help to be holding any grudges.

_Hey, don't blame the stories. You know Bella would have come up with some way of stepping in, as soon as she thought we were in trouble. _

"That's Bella."

We were just stepping back into the campsite, and I listened before looking at Bella. Her breathing was softer, her heartbeat more steady, but when I lit the flame that ignited the pile of vampire carcasses, I heard her gasp. Within seconds, the air became thick with the scent of burning corpses. What happiness I might have derived from watching Victoria's body ignite was quickly diminished as I listened to Bella's shallow breathing.

"Get every piece," I told Seth.

_More logs for the fire. Got it! _

We circled the campsite together, making sure every piece of our victory was added to the flames. Seth was nearly euphoric, thinking about how much damage he'd caused.

_Sam's gonna_ _have to let me in on the next fight for sure! I mean, I _did _do most of the work myself. _He laughed to himself, and I grinned at him. He'd earned his moment of glory. I reached my fist out to him and he bumped it with his nose.

"Nice teamwork," I said softly, eliciting another laugh from Seth.

_You know, even if you hadn't been here, I totally could have taken both of them. Did you see the look on the red-head's face when she saw me? Especially with Bella playing decoy over there . . . I mean, I could have made today a two-for-one! _

I was happy Seth was in such high spirits, but his words only reminded me that the time had come to do what I'd been putting off. I slowly raised my eyes to Bella, terrified of what I would see. How much damage had I caused, allowing her to witness such atrocities? With all my countless warnings of how dangerous we were when we turned ourselves over to instinct, how could she not have feared for her safety?

"Bella, love." I moved slowly toward her without breaking her stare. Confusion was written all over her face, and I wondered for a moment if she even realized what had happened – that it was over. "Bella, can you drop the rock, please? Carefully. Don't hurt yourself."

Of course I knew she hadn't drawn blood, but she was gripping the rock so tightly, I was worried it would pierce her skin if she didn't relax her grip. She stared at me for a long moment, and I felt my worst fears being realized. She _was _afraid of me. She was so scared, she wasn't even willing to drop her weapon. I'd expected it, but it didn't make the feeling any easier to take.

My hands were raised as if in surrender. I needed her to see – _I'm in control. The fight is over. There's no danger. _I was finding it difficult to form the words, and for a second, I wished she could read _my _thoughts. A moment later, Bella let go of the rock, and the sound of it hitting the ground lifted a small bit of the tension I was feeling. I continued my words of assurance, but her expression didn't change.

"You don't have to be afraid, Bella. You're safe. I won't hurt you. It's going to be all right, Bella. I know you're frightened now, but it's over. No one is going to hurt you. I won't touch you. I won't hurt you."

Finally, something registered on her face, and she blinked at me like I'd been speaking in a foreign language.

"Why do you keep saying that?"

She started to step toward me, and I instinctively backed away, leaving her the distance I knew she must need.

"What's wrong?" Her voice was soft, but concerned. "What do you mean?"

"Are you . . ." I suddenly found myself afraid to form the question I was so certain I knew the answer to. "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Afraid of you? _Why?_"

She took another step forward, and her foot caught on a loose branch. She stumbled, and my need to give her space disappeared. I wasn't going to let her end up bleeding over a ridiculous branch when I'd just torn Victoria limb from limb to keep her safe. As soon as I felt her trembling body in my arms, my guilt amplified. I should have had Seth take her far away before I acted. I could have done _something _to shield her from such terrible violence.

"Bella, Bella, I'm so sorry. It's over, it's over."

"I'm fine," she insisted, though she was gasping for air. "I'm okay. I'm just. Freaking out. Give me. A minute."

I held her tighter, determined to push all her fears away. I kept muttering apologies, wishing they were more, wishing they were enough. We held each other while her breathing returned to normal, and when I felt her relax into my chest, I breathed a sigh of relief. Just as I was about to ask how she was feeling, she started kissing me. It was unlike any kiss she'd ever given me – frantic and desperate, like she didn't believe I was really there.

"Are you okay? Did she hurt you at all?" She could barely get the words out between kisses, and she seemed determined to cover every inch of me. I didn't understand her reaction, but I was so relieved by it, I decided to take a few moments to simply bask in it. I could worry about figuring her out later.

"I'm absolutely fine," I assured her, taking a long, deep breath of her hair. It was hard to believe it really was all over.

"Seth?"

I laughed, his nearly incessant gloating and self-praise still ringing through my mind. "More than fine. Very pleased with himself, in fact."

"The others? Alice, Esme? The wolves?"

"All fine. It's over there, too. It went just as smoothly as I promised. We got the worse of it here."

Even though Bella seemed fine – far more so than she reasonably should have been – I felt another wave of guilt. I hadn't seen Victoria coming, and that was unforgivable. Yes, she had covered her tracks well, and hidden behind the gaps in Alice's visions. Still, I should have known what lengths she would go to to get her revenge. I should have been better prepared.

Bella's posture suddenly changed, taking me away from my thoughts. She pulled back to look at me, confusion all over her face. "Tell me why. Why did you think I would be afraid of you?"

"I'm sorry. So sorry. I didn't want you to see that. See _me _like that. I know I must have terrified you."

I watched her expression, and even before she said the words, I knew what she was thinking. Once again, I'd assumed what would frighten my Bella, and I'd been wrong.

"Seriously? You . . . what? Thought you'd scared me off?" Then, she snorted. Actually snorted. Like I was a fool for having worried about frightening her. I touched my hand to her face, bringing her eyes up to meet mine. There was love, and relief, and perhaps even a touch of amusement, but no fear. Inexplicably, she truly was fine.

"Bella, I just – " I paused, wondering if I should say it out loud. Maybe she was blocking everything out. Maybe she didn't have a grasp on what she'd just seen. I scrutinized her a moment more before asking what seemed like a ridiculous question. "I just beheaded and dismembered a sentient creature not twenty yards from you. That doesn't _bother _you?"

She shrugged, like today was any other day to her. "Not really. I was only afraid that you and Seth were going to get hurt. I wanted to help, but there's only so much I can do . . ."

The image of Bella pressing the jagged stone to her skin assaulted me. I was furious with myself for having let Bella be so close to the fight that she felt the need to intervene, and in all honesty, quite frustrated with her for not having more faith in my ability to protect her. Had she really thought Seth and I were that helpless?

"Yes, your little stunt with the rock. You know that you nearly gave me a heart attack? Not the easiest thing to do, that."

She blushed, her eyes darting nervously away from my stare. "I wanted to help . . . Seth was hurt . . ."

"Seth was only feigning that he was hurt, Bella. It was a trick. And then you . . . !" I could tell she was already feeling badly about the whole thing, and the last thing I wanted was her worrying I was angry with her. Logically, I knew she'd had nothing but the best intentions, but considering how much my family and I had done to make sure no harm came to her, the idea of her harming herself was infuriating. I shook my head, trying to regain my composure. It was over, and I needed to keep reminding myself that was all that mattered. "Seth couldn't see what you were doing, so I had to step in. Seth's a bit disgruntled that he can't claim a single-handed defeat now."

Her eyes widened as understanding sunk in. "Seth was . . . faking?" I nodded, still fighting to disguise my frustration. She breathed a quiet, "oh," then looked over at Seth. I followed her gaze to where the perfectly content wolf was sitting, admiring the flames that were consuming the vampires he'd help defeat. He was proud of himself, as he deserved to be, but I could also hear his relief. I'd never say it out loud – though of course there was no hiding it from the rest of the pack – but he'd had his moments of fear and indecision. He, too, was happy this was all over.

I looked back at Bella, not sure of what I would see in her eyes, but to my great surprise, I saw a flash of irritation. "Well, I didn't know that," she said defensively. I'd been so lost in Seth's thoughts, it took me a moment to understand what she was referring to. "And it's not easy being the only helpless person around. Just you wait till I'm a vampire! I'm not going to be sitting on the sidelines next time."

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. The funny thing was that I didn't know what surprised me the most – the fact that she now seemed angry with _me _because she hadn't been allowed to participate in the fight, or her unbridled enthusiasm at the idea of actually being in the next fight. I might have been upset, but something in her tone pushed all that away.

"Next time? Did you anticipate another war soon?" I'd been trying to make a joke, but Bella's brow pulled together and she sighed.

"With my luck? Who knows?"

I rolled my eyes, but I knew nothing else really mattered. The fight was over and Bella was safe. We all were – at least, for the moment. Bella seemed to remember the day wasn't over at exactly the same moment I had, and her breathing caught, her eyes widening.

"Hold on. Didn't you say something before – ?" She paused, probably trying to figure out what I hadn't wanted her to know. "About a complication? And Alice, needing to nail down the schedule for Sam. You said it was going to be close. What was going to be close?"

I glanced toward Seth, who was still sitting near the fire. _You're gonna have to tell her soon anyway, right? I mean, unless you're planning on letting Bella come play with the wolves while you take care of those power vamps._

I ignored his attempt at humor, and turned back to Bella.

"Well?" she pressed,

"It's nothing, really. But we do need to be on our way . . ." I tried to get us ready to run back to the clearing, but Bella wasn't having it.

"Define nothing."

I reached out and touched her cheek, trying to reassure her. It was difficult, though, when I had no way of knowing what the outcome would be today. I could only hope our promise of Bella's imminent transformation would be enough once again.

"We only have a minute, so don't panic, all right? I told you that you had no reason to be afraid. Trust me on that, please?"

She nodded, though her eyes betrayed her fear. "No reason to be afraid. Got it."

I was getting ready to explain things in the clearest, least terrifying way, when a very vivid image filled my mind. My head snapped toward Seth and his eyes were filled with fear as we both watched in horror. Somehow, one of the newborns had escaped the attack, and was hiding. Leah had just spotted him and Seth could hear her every thought. She thought she could take him out alone – prove her strength to the rest of the pack.

"What's she doing?" I asked as we both watched Leah's approach helplessly.

_No, no, no, Leah. Get help. Get Sam! _Seth was pacing, his thoughts screaming at Leah, but she wasn't listening to anyone or anything.

There was, however, someone else listening to Seth. Jacob had heard Seth's desperate pleas, and was running as fast as his legs could carry him. There wasn't a coherent thought in his mind. He was pure instinct.

"No!" I called out, echoing Seth's frantic cry, but it was no use. "Don't – !"

We were too late. The newborn already had his arms around Jacob, and was crushing him. The pack was so closely joined, I literally felt the jolt of pain in my own body as it resonated through Seth's mind. He was howling in pain as Jacob's bones were shattered, and I felt my knees give out on me. I was no longer at the campsite with Bella and Seth. I was _there – _I was a wolf, I was part of the pack, and I was in total agony.

Then, Bella was at my side, and as soon as her skin touched mine, I was brought back. She was screaming my name in a frenzied panic, and I realized what I must have looked like to her. I still couldn't break out of the pack mind, but I tried to reassure her as best I could through the searing pain still incapacitating me.

"It's okay. We're going to be fine. It's –"

There was another sharp stab of pain as the newborn dropped Jacob in a heap onto the ground. His eyes were clenched shut against the pain, and I could hear the snaps and snarls surrounding him. Sam and Paul had just gotten to him, and it was over before the newborn had even realized he wasn't alone.

"We're fine," I repeated. "We're going to be okay. Sam – help him –"

They were rushing to Jacob's side, and started examining the damage. _I've gotta go help him! _Seth was staring helplessly into the forest, ready to run.

I couldn't begin to imagine what must have been going through Bella's mind, but suddenly, it was too much for her to take. She collapsed beside me, and I reached out to catch her. She was watching me weakly as my eyes darted back to Seth. He was still determined to try to help Jacob, but there was nothing he could do for him. The pack was doing everything they could, but none of it would matter if the wolves were still there when the Volturi arrived.

"Seth! No! You go _straight home. _Now. As fast as you can!"

_But Jake – _

"Seth. Trust me."

He watched me for several seconds before nodding and running off in the opposite direction. I listened, using his connection to the pack for as long as I could, but it wasn't long before the noise of their collective, worried thoughts disappeared.

I could offer no assurances to Bella. Jacob was broken and suffering, but he wasn't our biggest concern at the moment. The most I could hope for was that Bella wouldn't ask any questions about what had happened until our confrontation with the Volturi was over. We needed to take on one problem at a time.

Without another word, I scooped her up and took off through the trees. "Edward." Her voice was barely a whisper, and I could hear the panic that was still there. "What happened, Edward? What happened to Sam? Where are we going? What's happening?"

"We have to go back to the clearing. We knew there was a good probability of this happening. Earlier this morning, Alice saw it and passed it through Sam to Seth. The Volturi decided it was time to intercede."

She didn't speak again, but I felt her grip around me tighten. I listened again, waiting to be close enough to hear my family again. I was desperate for something, _anything, _that could help me ease Bella's fears.

"Don't panic. They aren't coming for us. It's just the normal contingent of the guard that usually cleans up this kind of mess. Nothing momentous, they're merely doing their job." Even as I spoke the words, the sounded like a lie. Far too easily, I could picture Aro's smile as Jane told him the news of my family's demise. He wouldn't feel a moment of sorrow, even for Carlisle, if it meant Alice and I would join their family. "Of course, they seem to have timed their arrival very carefully. Which lead me to believe that no one in Italy would mourn if these newborns _had _reduced the size of the Cullen family. I'll know for sure what they were thinking when they get to the clearing."

"Is that why we're going back?" I could hear the fear in her voice, and I wondered if she was questioning how necessary our presence was there. If I could shield her from another encounter with the Volturi, I certainly would, but it would be more dangerous for us not to be there. It was better to be upfront and honest with them, and if Bella and I stayed away, they might think we were trying to hide the fact that Bella was still human from them. That alone would give Jane all the excuse she needed to take matters into her own hands. And she had no desire for us to join their clan.

"It's part of the reason. Mostly, it will be safer for us to present a united front at this point. They have no reason to harass us, but . . . Jane's with them. If she thought we were alone somewhere away from the others, it might tempt her. Like Victoria, Jane will probably guess that I'm with you. Demetri, of course, is with her. He could find me, if Jane asked him to."

Bella seemed to be stifling a shriek, and what came out was more of a whimper. I hated to see her cowering in fear when we should be celebrating the fact that Victoria was no longer a threat. Just then, I heard Alice's thoughts calling out to me. It sounded like she'd been thinking the same thing over and over, waiting for me to be close enough to hear.

_Edward, hurry. They're nearly here, and as long as we're all together, we'll be all right. _

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Shh, Bella, shh. It's all going to be fine. Alice can see that."

She instantly understood what that meant. "The pack?"

"They had to leave quickly. The Volturi do not honor truces with werewolves." Her breath caught, and I knew she would fear for their safety. "I swear they will be fine. The Volturi won't recognize the scent – they won't realize the wolves are here; this isn't a species they are familiar with. The pack will be fine."

My thoughts instantly jumped to Jacob, and I wondered if my words were a lie. It was true the pack wasn't in any danger from the Volturi, but they had not made it through the fight unscathed. I listened as Bella's breathing picked up again, and I should have known that even with the threat of the Volturi right around the corner, her thoughts would find their way back to the issue I'd been so carefully avoiding.

"What happened? Before. When Seth was howling? When you were hurt?"

I tried, but I couldn't make myself say it. What would it do to her if Jacob didn't make it?

"Edward! Tell me!"

I knew I owed her an explanation, and with everything we'd be dealing with in a matter of minutes, I couldn't leave her with unanswered questions. "It was all over. The wolves didn't count their half . . . they thought they had them all. Of course, Alice couldn't see . . ."

"What happened?"

"One of the newborns was hiding . . . Leah found him – she was being stupid, cocky, trying to prove something. She engaged him alone . . ."

"Leah," she breathed. There was no hiding the relief if her voice, and my heart sank as I thought about having to tell her the whole truth. "Is she going to be okay?"

I took a deep breath and steeled my resolve, but the words still came out a whisper. "Leah wasn't hurt."

I waited for it to sink in, though a part of me suspected she already knew. She and Jacob were so connected, I wondered if she would feel his pain too. When she didn't speak again, I decided she wasn't ready yet, so I resumed my previous methods of avoidance.

"We're almost there." I could smell the fires that consumed the defeated army – stronger, more potent than the fire we'd set for our two. As I slowed to a walk, Bella began to shake in my arms.

"Edward," she whispered desperately. "Edward, someone got hurt." It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"Who?"

She knew. She had to know. Why was she making me say it when it wouldn't fix anything?

"Jacob," I admitted softly.

She nodded as she muttered, "Of course." Then, she fainted.

I sped back up to a sprint, closing the last of the distance between us and my family. The wolves had left awhile ago, and I was surprised when I heard that one of them had returned. He was speaking with Carlisle, and without me there to translate, he'd been forced to come in his human form. I could tell there was at least one other wolf along with him.

"You're sure Jake's gonna be okay until you get there?" he was asking. "I mean, he's healing really fast, but nothing is where it's supposed to be. He's so messed up."

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing else I can do now. I wrapped him as best I could with what we had available. It's good that he's healing, even if it means we have to re-break some bones later. It won't be pleasant, but he'll live. You have to go back to him. Tell him I'll be there as soon as possible, but you must get away from here now. If we could help we would, but we cannot leave."

I was just stepping into the clearing as they were leaving. Carlisle was clearly troubled that he couldn't be of more help, and Esme placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

_Oh, for goodness sake. _ Alice was shaking her head and rolling her eyes as I carried Bella's limp body to where my family was gathered. I set her down gently on the ground, and knelt beside her.

"Is she okay?" I asked, my eyes darting between Carlisle and Alice.

Carlisle walked over to us and reached out to check Bella's pulse, counting silently to himself. "She'll be fine, Edward. She's just in a bit of shock. This day must have been very trying for her."

I laughed humorlessly at his understatement, my gaze moving to Alice as I wondered how much my family actually knew of the second fight none of us had anticipated. "I filled them in on the details, at least as far as I could see," she told me, her voice instantly apologetic. "I'm so sorry I couldn't offer you any warning. She really knew what she was doing."

"I know. It's all right. It's all over."

"Well, not quite all." An image of the Volturi's approach filled both our minds.

"Of course. But you've seen they're not a threat."

"That doesn't mean it won't be difficult. We'll have to watch every word. There's also one minor complication I hadn't previously taken into account."

I didn't understand the irritation that had returned to her tone. I was going to ask, but then I heard a voice I didn't recognize. It was confused and scared – childlike in a way I couldn't comprehend. Who was with us? And how was it I hadn't heard them right away?

"Who is that?" I asked, looking around, but not finding anyone.

"_That _is the complication. Jasper is very unhappy, but Carlisle and Esme insisted."

Baffled, my eyes continued to search the space, until finally, I spotted Jasper. He was standing next to one of the fires, his stare fixed on a small, female vampire crouched beside him. Her eyes were shut tightly, and fear was written all over her face. I felt sick as the only possible explanation for her presence occurred to me.

"You left one of the newborns alive?" I shouted, horrified.

"She surrendered. She told me she didn't want to fight, and didn't want to hurt anybody. It's not our right to destroy her when she means us no harm." Carlisle's voice was calm, and Esme stood beside him, smiling comfortably. Their expressions told me there was no point in arguing with them, no matter how insane their decision was. Alice sighed loudly.

With a new, uncertain variable now sitting fifty feet away, I instinctively held Bella closer to me. I brushed my fingers against her cheeks, hoping my touch would bring her back. "Carlisle – it's been five minutes."

"She'll come around when she's ready, Edward. She's had too much to deal with today. Let her mind protect itself."

I stared at her helplessly, but even as a part of me wanted to let her recover like I knew she needed to, I also couldn't ignore the threat that was mere minutes away. The last thing I wanted was Bella unconscious when the Volturi arrived. It was very likely they would want to question her about her upcoming transformation, though I would protect her – and speak for her – as much as they would allow.

"Alice, how long do we have?"

"Another five minutes. And Bella will open her eyes in thirty-seven seconds. I wouldn't doubt she can hear us now."

Esme sat down next to us then, and stroked Bella's hair lovingly. "Bella, honey? Can you hear me? You're safe now, dear."

I leaned down and whispered the words I knew would ease her mind, if she truly was able to hear me. "He's going to live, Bella. Jacob Black is healing as I speak. He'll be fine."

A few moments later, there was a small twitch beneath her eyelids, and I might have thought she was dreaming if she hadn't simultaneously lifted her chin just slightly. Even without opening her eyes, I felt her searching for me. "Oh, Bella." I sighed as I kissed her softly, the warmth of her lips bringing me a perfect moment of peace.

"Edward."

"Yes, I'm here." She opened her eyes and I breathed another sigh of relief.

"Jacob is okay?"

"Yes."

She was staring at me like she didn't believe me, like I was lying to save her further despair. I turned to Carlisle, my eyes pleading. I hadn't been there when Carlisle had looked him over, but I trusted he was telling the wolves the complete truth when he'd said Jacob would be fine.

"I examined him myself," he told Bella. "His life is not in any danger. He was healing at an incredible rate, though his injuries were extensive enough that it will still be a few days before he is back to normal, even if the rate of repair holds steady. As soon as we're done here, I will do what I can to help him. Sam is trying to get him to phase back to his human form. That will make treating him easier." He smiled, glancing at me for a brief second. "I've never been to veterinarian school."

Bella was quiet as she asked, "What happened to him? How bad are his injuries?"

Carlisle looked at me again and I nodded. "Another wolf was in trouble –"

"Leah."

"Yes. He knocked her out of the way, but he didn't have time to defend himself. The newborn got his arms around him. Most of the bones on the right half of his body were shattered."

Bella winced, and Carlisle quickly switched gears. "Sam and Paul got there in time. He was already improving when they took him back to La Push."

"He'll be back to normal?"

"Yes, Bella. He won't have any permanent damage."

Relief washed over her face as his promise sunk in. Then, another image of the Volturi passed through my mind and I struggled to keep my eyes on Bella. I just wanted a few more minutes before fear would undoubtedly take her again.

"Three minutes," Alice said softly. Bella understood instantly, and she started to stand up. As soon as she was on her feet, a slight breeze blew across the field, and as soon as it did, I heard the surrendered newborn's thoughts scream out.

_It's her! The one we've been hunting! Sweet, delicious . . . burning pain!_

If Jasper hadn't been standing over her, controlling her with his threatening gaze, I wouldn't have been able to take it. I could hear her need – her raw desire for Bella's blood – and I might have defied Carlisle and ended her myself, but for the assurance in Jasper's stare.

_Don't worry. One wrong move and this is over!_ He was looking for an excuse to end her, and I didn't immediately understand why. Then, I heard his fears. I felt foolish for not having thought about it sooner, when Alice had called her a complication.

_If the Volturi think we've been creating our own army, they'll show us no mercy. Everything we've done will have been for nothing._

He refused to take his eyes off the newborn, but I could tell he wanted to look at Alice. His greatest fear was always losing her, and anything that posed a threat was an instant enemy. It was probably why he understood my unrelenting need to protect Bella so well. I looked down at Bella then, and saw that she was staring at the frantic newborn, confused.

"She surrendered," I explained. "That's one I've never seen before. Only Carlisle would think of offering. Jasper doesn't approve."

Her eyes turned to him, and she must have noticed the way he was rubbing his arm.

"Is Jasper all right?" she asked worriedly.

His injuries weren't that bad – nothing, really, compared to all he'd been through during his early years. Honestly, it seemed like the memories the bites were bringing back to him bothered him more than the physical pain. I didn't want to trouble Bella with that unsettling truth, though.

"He's fine. The venom stings."

"He was bitten?" she gasped.

Another gust of wind blew, sending Bella's sent straight toward the new one. Every second, it was becoming increasingly difficult for her to control herself.

"He was trying to be everywhere at once," I continued, attempting to ignore the girl. "Trying to make sure Alice had nothing to do, actually. Alice doesn't need anyone's help."

"Overprotective fool," Alice muttered, glaring at Jasper.

His attention lapsed for a split second, and I heard the newborn's thoughts racing. She wondered how quickly she could get to Bella, and for a moment, I thought she was going to act. She was already imagining the way Bella's blood would taste – the way it would quench her indescribable thirst. She threw her head back and wailed, and I shot her a look that clearly said Jasper was the least of her worries if she made one motion toward Bella. Jasper snarled another warning at her, and she dug her fingers into the dirt, as if she was trying to ground herself. Jasper stepped closer to her, crouched and ready to attack.

Carlisle saw that Jasper was a second away from killing the girl, and he was at their side in an instant. "Have you changed your mind, young one? We don't want to destroy you, but we will if you can't control yourself."

Then, I heard her voice for the the first time out loud. Every word was nearly a shriek as she fought to hang onto a tiny shred of control. "How can you stand it?" she cried. "I _want _her." She was staring right at me, but she was frantically trying to see past me to her prey.

"You must stand it," Carlisle commanded. "You must exercise control. It is possible, and it is the only thing that will save you now."

She scratched uselessly at the ground again, and I was surprised to hear she was fighting an internal battle that had little to do with Bella. She didn't want to die, but she wasn't certain she wanted to live, either. She'd lost someone she cared for deeply. Someone named Diego. I was utterly stunned. I didn't think such a young vampire had the capacity to love. As she simultaneously mourned her lost love and fought against the unbearable burning in her throat, she held her head in her hands, rocking her body back and forth.

"Shouldn't we move away from her?" Bella asked compassionately. Unfortunately, hearing Bella's voice drew even more attention to her, and the young vampire nearly convulsed with the effort of staying in her place.

"We have to stay here," I explained as calmly as possible. "_They _are coming to the north end of the clearing now." I'd been so focused on the newborn, I hadn't heard the Volturi's approach as soon as I might have otherwise. Now that I was listening for them, though, I realized I could hear all their thoughts clearly. There were five of them, led by Jane, of course. Their thoughts were somewhat guarded, obviously having complete knowledge that I'd be listening, but I could hear a few pieces here and there. They were expecting to find my family at least partially defeated, and nowhere in any of their thoughts, could I find even a hint of remorse.

Moments later, I heard Jane's casual, yet callous, voice fill the air.

"Hmm," she sighed. _So, they're completely intact. How interesting._

"Welcome, Jane."

Jane surveyed the scene in front of her – our family standing strong amid the billowing smoke of the fallen army. She was baffled, and clearly displeased, but as she was about to begin her false pleasantries, her eyes fell on the wild newborn.

"I don't understand," she said flatly.

"She has surrendered." Even as I said the word, I knew it would mean nothing to them.

"Surrendered?" she repeated, smirking through her irritation.

"Carlisle gave her the option."

"There are no options for those who break the rules."

I was flooded with the thoughts of my family – from Esme's desperate pleas for mercy, to Jasper's faint _I knew this would happen _– but above it all, was Carlisle's voice of reason. He wanted to save the girl, but his family's safety came before all. He was nothing but compliant.

"That's in your hands. As long as she was willing to halt her attack on us, I saw no need to destroy her. She was never taught."

"That is irrelevant."

"As you wish."

The words were simple enough, and I could hear that the young vampire knew her fate had just been decided. She'd already been through so much, she hardly had it in her to feel afraid. Jane was watching Carlisle, and trying without success to figure him out. She'd never understood the lifestyle we'd chosen, but seeing his compassion directed at someone she never would have given a second glance to was beyond her comprehension.

Finally, she shook her head, and resumed her composed stance. "Aro hoped that we would get far enough west to see you, Carlisle. He sends his regards."

"I would appreciate it if you would convey mine to him."

"Of course." She looked around once more, taking in the piles of burning corpses, and trying to hide her surprise. Aro had always wanted us for our special talents, and for a fraction of a second, Jane wanted us for our combat skills. "It appears that you've done our work for us today . . . for the most part." She glanced icily toward the young vampire. "Just out of professional curiosity, how many were there? They left quite wake of destruction in Seattle."

"Eighteen, including this one," Carlisle told her. None of them were able to hide their shock, and the spoke quietly amongst themselves. They had anticipated more fighting within the newborn army, and couldn't believe that their numbers had held strong. Even more inexplicable, though, was that the seven of us had been able to defeat them. Of course, there hadn't been seven of us, but that wasn't knowledge the Volturi needed to have.

"Eighteen?" she asked.

Carlisle felt a twinge of concern that somehow, the Volturi would know we were not alone. Even if we had tried to explain we'd had werewolves fighting alongside us, they never would have believed it. "All brand-new," Carlisle clarified. "They were unskilled."

"All?" Jane asked skeptically. "Then who was their creator?"

It was my turn to speak. If anyone was going to tell the tale of Victoria's demise, it would be me. Victoria was to have been the Volturi's solution, but instead, she became just another victim. "Her name was Victoria."

"Was?"

I motioned toward the hill on which Victoria had terrorized us for the final time. Jane stared at the tower of smoke, confusion written all over her face. "This Victoria. She was in addition to the eighteen here?"

"Yes. She had only one other with her. He was not as young as this one here, but no older than a year.

"Twenty." _And yet they failed. _I heard the word she was trying to mask – _shame. _"Who dealt with the creator?"

"I did." I was finding it harder each second to remain composed. It was difficult looking into the eyes of someone who would have much preferred your family to be dead.

Jane turned to the young vampire and glared. "You there. Your name." The girl glared back at her defiantly, and I felt a wave of pity for the suffering that would surely follow. She had no way of knowing what she was up against. A moment later, her screams filled the air, and I felt Bella cringe at my side. I tried not to hear the girl's agonized thoughts, but they were impossible to ignore. She was remembering her transformation, and wondering how she could endure such torture a second time. Relief washed over her when the fires disappeared.

"Your name," Jane repeated.

"Bree." As soon as she'd spoken, Jane smiled, and the torture began again. The girl screamed, and her thoughts cried out for death.

_Carlisle is kind, why doesn't he just kill me? Can't the mind reader hear me and make this stop?_

It was like she was speaking directly to me, even though it was clear she had no idea who I was. My pity for her only grew, and I spoke out of instinct, even if it meant Jane might turn her agonizing smile on me.

"She'll tell you anything you want to know. You don't have to do that."

Jane smiled at me and I braced myself for pain, but there was only humor in her eyes. "Oh, I know." She quickly turned back to girl and I was grateful her sadistic interrogation seemed to be at an end. "Bree. Is this story true? Were there twenty of you?"

The girl spoke quickly, terrified of more pain. "Nineteen or twenty, maybe more, I don't know! Sara and the one whose name I don' t know got in a fight on the way . . ."

"And this Victoria – did she create you?"

"I don't know." _Don't hurt me, please, not again. _"Riley never said her name, I didn't see that night . . . it was so dark, and it hurt . . ." She was trying to banish memories of that night, but they were consuming her. "He didn't want us to be able to think of her. He said that our thoughts weren't safe."

Jane shot a glare in my direction. _No. None of our thoughts are safe. I don't know why Aro thinks it's such a gift. I find it more of a nuisance._

She turned back to Bree. "Tell me about Riley. Why did he bring you here?"

"Riley told us that we had to destroy the strange yellow-eyes here. He said it would be easy. He said the city was theirs, and they were coming to get us. He said once they were gone, all the blood would be ours. He gave us her scent." She pointed toward Bella and I fought against the surge of hatred I felt, as I thought about this young vampire, and so many others, hunting my Bella with fire in their throats. "He said we would know that we had the right coven, because she would be with them. He said whoever got to her first could have her."

Then, it was impossible to silence the low snarl that ripped through my throat. I tried to silence my instinct to run across the field and finish the girl off myself. Logically, I knew it wasn't her fault, but she was standing there telling us that Bella was the prize in this army's sick game.

"It looks like Riley was wrong about the easy part," Jane said sarcastically.

_This is the story she wants them to hear, the one that doesn't implicate her._

My eyes flashed to Bree as I realized she knew more than she was letting on. She sat up, her posture showing a confidence that hadn't been there before. _I hope their mind reader is paying attention. _In her mind, I watched as she remembered Victoria's encounter with Jane. It was everything I'd suspected, and more.

I listened in horror as Bree quickly played the scene through her mind – the Volturi's visit with Victoria, their interest in how she'd stayed "off the radar" for so long, and finally, Jane's demand that they make a decision immediately. She'd told Victoria, in no uncertain terms, that their indiscretions wouldn't be overlooked much longer, and it was time for action. _Work hard to please us, _she'd said. My fists clenched as understanding set in. The Volturi would have been quite pleased if my family had been decimated.

Out loud, Bree continued to tell the story Jane wanted to hear, but silently, she was giving me everything I needed to know. It was her parting gift to us. As she thought about her brief time with my family, during the aftermath of the fight, I realized she'd heard the wolves howling. Although she'd simply thought it was another strange breed of vampires, she decided to keep their presence a secret. What a strange and unlikely ally we'd found in this young child, all because of Carlisle and Esme's act of kindness.

"I don't know what happened," she continued. "We split up, but the others never came. And Riley left us, and he didn't come to help like he promised. And then it was so confusing, and everybody was in pieces. I was afraid. I wanted to run away."

Then, she turned to Carlisle, and I could hear her genuine gratitude for the salvation he'd tried to give her. "That one said they wouldn't hurt me if I stopped fighting."

"Ah, but that wasn't his gift to offer, young one. Broken rules demand a consequence."

Whether for her dignity, or simply keeping up with her ruse, Bree feigned ignorance. She knew she was going to die, but her eyes betrayed none of her fear. Jane turned to Carlisle, her patience for the whole encounter wearing thin. Things hadn't gone the way she had wanted, and she was anxious to return home.

"Are you sure you got all of them? The other half that split off?"

Carlisle nodded, the picture of composure as he silently thanked the wolves once more. "We split up, too."

_This is preposterous. What am I missing? _She was irritated, certain there was more to the puzzle, yet unable to find it. She attempted to fix a smile back on her face, but it was only halfhearted. "I can't deny that I'm impressed."

"Yes," the others agreed, equally surprised.

"I've never seen a coven escape this magnitude of offensive intact. Do you know what was behind it? It seems like extreme behavior, considering the way you live here. And why was the girl the key?"

She spared Bella the briefest of glances, not wanting to waste even a second on the girl whom she had deemed completely useless.

"Victoria held a grudge against Bella," I explained.

She laughed, clearly not expecting that. "This one seems to bring out bizarrely strong reactions in our kind."

Every muscle in my body tightened as she turned her eyes on Bella, even though she'd already proven once that her powers had no effect on Bella. _Why can't I make you suffer? _she thought, both smiling and glaring at Bella.

"Would you please not do that?" I spat.

_Oh, where's your sense of adventure? _She laughed quietly. "Just checking. No harm done, apparently." I hugged Bella protectively and Jane sighed.

"Well, it appears that there's not much left for us to do. Odd. We're not used to being rendered unnecessary. It's too bad we missed the fight. It sounds like it would have been entertaining to watch."

Jane was being cautious about any thoughts that might betray their involvement. She didn't know I'd already learned so much from the young vampire she was about to have murdered.

"Yes," I said icily. "And you were so close. It's a shame you didn't arrive just a half hour earlier. Perhaps then you could have fulfilled your purpose here." I wondered, idly, to what extent the Volturi would have gotten their hands dirty, if they'd been here and the fight had been close. If they could have helped the army defeat our family, without Alice or I witnessing it, could they have passed up such an opportunity?

Jane was glowering, frighteningly close to unleashing her talents on me again. I wished she had. I would have endured the pain, in exchange for such a blatant admission on guilt.

"Yes," she said, regaining her composure. "Quite a pity how things turned out, isn't it?"

_What a waste this trip has been. Aro will be very disappointed. Oh, well. Only one minor detail left to deal with._

She turned her stare one final time to Bree, who knew without a doubt that her life was over. She glanced at me, having figured out not only that I was the mind reader she'd been speaking to, but that I'd been responsible for Riley and Victoria's demise. I only caught glimpses of it, but I knew they had caused her nothing but pain and heartache, and she was glad to know they'd been destroyed. She silently thought, _thanks_, and closed her eyes.

"Felix?" Jane instructed casually.

"Wait," I shouted. Deep down, I knew it was all useless, but somehow, I needed Bree to know I was grateful for all she'd done, and that I would fight for her to the very end. I turned to Carlisle, hopelessly. "We could explain the rules to the young one. She doesn't seem unwilling to learn. She didn't know what she was doing."

"Of course." He nodded, his expression pleading. "We would certainly be prepared to take responsibility for Bree."

_How naïve. Almost endearing, if it weren't so absurd. Aro was right, though. Far too compassionate for his own good. Such an unfortunate character flaw._

I knew there was no hope of saving Bree's life, but I had accomplished what I'd set out to do. She was touched, and she knew for one moment, that not all vampires were eager to kill, and that this family, at least, valued her life.

"We don't make exceptions," Jane said. Bree didn't even flinch. "And we don't give second chances. It's bad for our reputation. Which reminds me . . ." She turned and smiled angelically at Bella, and my fists tightened again. "Caius will be _so _interested to hear that you're still human, Bella. Perhaps he'll decide to visit." Jane was imagining far too clearly, exactly how quickly Caius would act if he were to visit and find Bella human.

_Edward, stay calm. _Alice's cautioning voice stopped me in my tracks, and I heard her speak for the first time to Jane. "The date is set," she promised. "Perhaps we'll come to visit you in a few months."

If Jane considered my talents a nuisance, then Alice's absolutely infuriated her. She enjoyed the element of surprise when it came to exercising the Volturi's powers, and Alice made that virtually impossible. She didn't even spare Alice a glance, shrugging nonchalantly as she turned back to Carlisle.

"It was nice to meet you, Carlisle – I'd thought Aro was exaggerating. Well, until we meet again . . ."

Bree knew it was over. Her final thoughts were of someone named Fred, whom she obviously considered a friend. It sounded as if he might possess talents of his own – ones that involved the ability to remain hidden. Bree silently hoped that we would cross paths with him someday. _Be nice to him, please, _she asked kindly.

_I'm sorry, young child, _Carlisle thought miserably as Jane gave the command.

"Take care of that, Felix. I want to go home."

"Don't watch," I whispered to Bella, and though a part of me wanted to turn away as well, my eyes stayed locked with Bree's. I tried to send her strength and bravery, and I hoped Felix would have the decency to be quick with it. She deserved that much.

With two swift motions, and only one sharp cry of pain from our fallen friend, it was over. I was rubbing Bella's shoulders, and wishing I could pull her into my arms and run her far away from this place of suffering and death.

"Come," Jane said callously, when the last pieces of Bree were burning. _I've had enough of all this. Although, I could fancy a quick meal before we leave. Violence always gives me such an appetite. _

I clenched my eyes shut, and tried not to think about the unsuspecting group of humans whom Alice could see would not live through the night.


	24. Ethics

Hi all! So here we are, second to last chapter... I really got to have fun with this, too, since it was originally pretty much all Bella/Jacob. Plus, we knew Bella and Edward were together before the chapter starts which means *gasp* I got to write Edward/Bella dialogue! So very exciting for me :) Hope life is treating everyone GREAT, and y'all enjoy.

Thanks, as always, to shasta53 for your help. You really get me thinking... ;)

**Ethics**

We left the field in silence, my family stunned that things had gone as smoothly as they did, and Bella shaking at my side. It felt strange to think such a thing, but I was actually quite relieved as I realized that the next time Bella encountered the Volturi, she would be a vampire. I only hoped whatever quirk existed in her mind that shielded her from Aro and Jane's powers, it would still be in effect after her transformation. It seemed likely that she would carry the trait through with her, but I couldn't be sure. We'd never encountered anyone like her, so we really didn't know what to expect.

Bella didn't ask about Jacob during the run home, but as soon as I put her down, she hurried over to my car, her eyes expectant. I knew she was anxious, and wouldn't believe Jacob was okay until she saw for herself. Before I had the chance to say anything, Alice was beside me.

"Charlie's down in La Push," she said. "I was keeping an eye on him earlier, trying to figure out when he would get home so Bella and I wouldn't be too far behind. Then he disappeared, so I knew he'd gone with Billy to check on Jacob."

"Carlisle wants me to go with him. He hasn't asked me yet – he knows I don't want to leave Bella – but I heard it."

"He doesn't trust the wolves?"

"No, he trusts them completely. But if things with Jacob get really rough, if he has to be held down while Carlisle works on him, he doesn't want any of the pack to have to be the ones to do it. They're Jacob's brothers, and he's afraid they'll let emotions get in the way. He'd rather I be there to help him, since he knows I can be pragmatic about it all."

"So, you need me to keep an eye on Bella?"

"Yes. And keep her occupied. I know she won't be happy about not coming with me, but it's necessary. We have to keep up the facade, for Charlie's sake."

"Don't worry. I've got a whole weekend's worth of girly sleepover activities to cram into the next few hours."

"She's never going to let me hear the end of this, you know."

She winked, then flitted over to Bella with an angelic smile. I looked on apologetically as Alice explained the plan to Bella. A dozen emotions played across her face before she started shaking her head wildly.

"No, Jake needs me. I have to go see him. I have to know he's okay."

"I promise you, he's fine. Carlisle is going to take perfect care of him. For now, the best thing you can do is wait for them to finish. When Carlisle's done treating him, and when Charlie is gone, then you can go visit. Please, Bella. You can't let Charlie see you yet."

Reluctantly, she nodded, and walked over to me. "You'll call the second Charlie leaves?"

"Of course. Alice will have you down in minutes. Bella, he's going to be fine."

"I know. I just need to – "

"I know." I tried to strengthen and reassure her with my kiss, but I could feel how distant she was. Nothing was going to be all right for her until this ridiculously long and exhausting day was over – and nothing was going to feel right to me until we were home again, and Bella was in my arms.

The entire drive, Carlisle's mind was focused solely on how to provide the best possible care to a species he knew very little about. Of course Billy would be allowed to stay with Jacob, but Carlise thought it was important for the rest of the pack to remain outside the room. Even if they understood logically that what Carlisle was doing was for Jacob's good, it probably wouldn't be an easy thing to watch, since it was in their nature not to trust us.

"Bella handled things very well today." I turned, surprised Carlisle had spoken out loud. Over the decades, he'd fallen into the habit of speaking to me only in his mind when we were alone. I'd come to expect it, and I found I actually appreciated it. It made my strange gift feel almost normal. Hearing him speak aloud was unsettling, and it made me wonder if he was trying to keep me out of his head.

I listened for a moment, but Carlisle was merely replaying the events of the day. Like so many times before, he had looked at Bella with the eyes of a father, and he was proud of the strength she'd shown. Deciding he'd spoken simply to get my attention, I felt myself relax.

"Yes, she always does. Too well, sometimes.".

"You shouldn't be troubled by her easy acceptance. It just shows she's ready for what lies ahead."

"You know how I feel about her choice."

"Of course." He tried to hide the grin that started to spread across his face, but he was finding it harder to hide his thoughts. Or possibly, he had no intention of hiding them from me in the first place.

It had been no secret to my family that's I'd grown more tolerant as of late, to the knowledge that Bella would soon be one of us. While I could never fully condone it, knowing what I did of our existence, Bella's carefree attitude toward everything in my world was teaching me to relax. There was no denying the relief I felt knowing she wouldn't be nearly as breakable, if and when we found ourselves the target of another sadistic vampire like James or Victoria.

Carlisle seemed to be enjoying himself, throwing image after image at me of my smiling face, every time Bella casually mentioned how different things would be after she was changed. There was no arguing that Bella was ready. More than ready, really. Whether she was joking with Emmett about arm wrestling, or assuring me she wouldn't be waiting on the sidelines during our family's next big battle, every time she spoke of her new life, it was with nothing but confidence. Who was I to stand in her way, when she knew with such certainty what she wanted?

"Carlisle?" He looked over at me, and I found myself wishing he actually needed to pay attention to the road. This question would be easier to ask if he wasn't looking at me.

_Edward, you can ask me anything. _I smiled as he returned to his normal, silent method of communication with me.

"I know. And I trust you to be completely honest with me. It's just . . ."

_What's troubling you? Everything went so well today._

"Everything except for Bella's very broken best friend who we're on our way to fix."

_Except that. _He paused, turning his eyes back to the road. _That's not what this is about though, is it? Jacob's injuries will heal._

"I know."

_ Are you concerned about Bella's connection to him?_

"No. I've accepted that he is a part of her life. I caused that by leaving, and I am going to simply remain grateful that he was able to take care of her when I wasn't."

_And soon she'll see for herself that he's going to be all right. She's coming down to La Push as soon as Charlie leaves, isn't she?_

Carlisle wasn't usually this far off. He knew me so well. I wasn't sure how to tell him I was worried about something completely unrelated to the events of today.

"Yes. She and Jacob have things to . . . discuss." He quirked an eyebrow at me, but I shook my head and sighed. "That's not what I wanted to ask you about, though. And I feel it would be disrespectful to Bella to discuss the matter any further."

_Of course. So . . . ?_

"Carlisle, I'm worried about not being strong enough to change her myself. And I've already promised her I would. She's marrying me, giving me _everything, _and I don't know if I'm strong enough to keep my word."

The words spilled out, and I immediately felt the relief of having said them aloud. Carlisle and I so rarely got the chance to speak alone anymore, and this was something that had been weighing heavily on my mind since I'd agreed to Bella's request.

_Edward, you know I've never had anything but absolute confidence in your ability to keep Bella safe. Even in the very beginning, when you were frightened of yourself above all else. This is __no different. _

"I wish I was as sure as you. I have no experience with this, so I have no idea what to expect. I can't even go to Alice for reassurance, because she can only see as far as my decisions, and of course I want nothing more than for everything to go smoothly."

_Is it only fear that you won't be able to stop that's troubling you, or is there something more?_

"I don't know how I'm supposed to sit there and watch her suffer for three days. How can I witness that, knowing there's nothing I can do for her."

_Exactly like that. By _knowing _there's nothing you can do. She's made her choice, and she's prepared for the consequences. In fact, her being so prepared is probably the very thing that will make this tolerable for her. Yes, she will be in pain, but throughout the ordeal, she'll possess the knowledge that the pain is bringing her to the life she desires. None of us had that. None of us knew what was happening to __us. Bella will be aware from the very start that the torment has a purpose. I believe, to my very core, that will make a difference._

There was a weighted silence while I tried to make myself believe knowledge could make a difference. It was hard to imagine anything making the fire feel less agonizing, making the seemingly endless time go by more quickly. Still, that hope was all I had, and I needed to believe in it.

"How did you do it? Change me and Esme, and the others."

_The entire time you all were suffering, particularly you since you were the first, I hated myself. I felt terribly guilty, as you surely will, but you'll have something I did not. You will know that this is the life Bella wants, and when the pain is over, she will be happy. I couldn't be sure of that, with any of you. The whole time you were suffering, I questioned whether I'd made the right choice – whether saving your lives by damning you to this existence was really kindness. You'll never once have to question that you've given Bella exactly what she wants. That, my son, will give you all the strength you need._

With those words, we pulled into Billy's driveway. We could already hear Jacob's cries of pain. Thankfully, they were human cries rather than howls, so we knew he had phased back. I didn't know how Billy would have kept Charlie in the dark had Jacob still been in his wolf form when they'd returned home.

"Well, speak of the devil," Charlie muttered when we stepped in the room. I assumed he was talking about Carlisle, since I couldn't see any reason they would have been talking about me.

"Thank you so much for coming," Billy said when he saw Carlisle. When he glanced at me, I heard a brief flicker or irritation at my presence, but it passed quickly, outweighed by his deep gratitude that Carlisle had agreed to help. None of the pack were qualified to treat this degree of injury, and obviously he couldn't go to a human doctor_._

"Charlie, could you go get me some water please?" Billy asked.

"Yeah, no problem. Sure you don't want something a little stronger?" He tried to smile, but everyone knew there was nothing that was going to make this any easier on Billy. His boy was suffering, and there wasn't anything he could do to make him better.

"No, just the water." Charlie disappeared, and Carlisle spoke quietly.

"I'll do what I can with my limited knowledge. Because of his accelerated healing, I think the best thing I can do for him is work quickly. Is there anything else I'll need to know that can't be spoken in front of Charlie?"

"I know Jake's body temperature will burn off pain killers pretty fast, but I'd sure appreciate anything you could give him that might take the edge off."

"I can take it, guys," Jacob said, his voice barely audible.

Carlisle shook his head and smiled at Billy. "Don't worry, I've got enough morphine to dull the pain significantly."

"Thank you again. You're showing us a great kindness by coming down here."

"No, it was you and your family that showed us a kindness by fighting in a war that was not your own. My own family might not all be with me today if not for your help, and we will always be thankful for that." Billy nodded just as Charlie stepped back into the room.

"Here ya go," he said, handing Billy the water. Carlisle and Billy exchanged glances, silently acknowledging that their time for speaking opening was at an end. Carlisle knelt down next to Jacob and placed a cool hand on his forehead.

"I'm getting you started on some morphine," he said, placing an IV as he spoke. Jacob grunted in reply. "Your father and Charlie are going to stay with you. Don't worry, you're going to be fine."

"`f you say so," he muttered, cringing as he spoke.

"I'm going to try to assess the extent of your injuries. I'll be as gentle as possible, but I need to work quickly. I want to get your bones set right away."

Jacob gave one faint nod, then clenched his eyes shut against the pain he knew was coming. Carlisle was careful, and I was sure his cold skin helped dull the pain at least slightly, but it was clear Jacob was miserable. Carlisle was feeling down the side of his body, his eyes pulling together as he tried to figure out which bones had already set themselves wrong, and would need to be re-broken. When he'd finished, Jacob forced his eyes open.

"What's the news, doc?" he asked, managing a half-smile.

"This will be . . . unpleasant. But you will suffer no permanent damage. There are several places that I'll need to re-break before I can place the splints."

I heard Charlie's mind start to race, wondering why such a thing was necessary. I shot Carlisle a warning glance.

"Some of your breaks aren't as clean as I'd like to see, and they'll heal faster if you allow me to do this."

"Whatever you gotta do."

"Is it all right if Edward assists me? I'll need you to stay very still, and he can help keep you in the right position. It will minimize the pain."

"I doubt that," he grumbled, but he reluctantly agreed.

Carlisle nodded, then turned to Billy and Charlie. "You don't have to watch this." No one said a word, but we all knew. Billy would stay at Jacob's side because that's what fathers did, and Charlie would stay at Billy's side because that's what best friends did. Considering the mix of species in the room, it was a very human moment.

I watched the pain on Carlisle's face as he did what needed to be done. Jacob cried out in agony, and I was glad, then, that Bella hadn't accompanied us. Aside from the string of profanities that cascaded from his mouth, I couldn't stand the thought of Bella seeing him suffer like that. Even I was finding it difficult to watch. I listened as his every thought screamed out in protest, but beneath it all, I could also hear that he understood it was all for his own good.

Several times, I saw Charlie cringe beside Billy, and he asked if it would be better to take Jacob to a hospital.

"No," Billy said too quickly. "I mean, I really think it's best we keep him at home, if possible. Once everything's set, I don't want to have to move him. Besides, he'll sleep better here."

"Billy's right," Carlisle agreed calmly. Charlie crossed his arms and muttered something under his breath, but dropped the subject.

Thankfully, it wasn't long before the combination of pain, exertion, and morphine rendered Jacob unconscious. As soon as Carlisle felt his body go limp, he quickly finished breaking and setting the bones. When it was all over, I felt my posture relax and I breathed a sigh of relief. Whatever animosity I might feel toward Jacob, no one should have to go through that, and it was all because he had been looking out for a fellow pack member.

"He's sleeping very soundly, which will help aid the heeling process. Try to remind him to move as little as possible when he wakes us," Carlisle said, putting his hand on Billy's shoulder. I was stunned when Billy reached up and patted it twice.

"Thank you, for everything. I don't know what we would've done without you."

"I'm happy to help."

"Charlie," Billy said, turning to him. "I appreciate you staying here with us during all this, but I think I need some time with my boy now."

"Of course. You call me if anything changes, okay?"

_Edward, you should call Alice and tell her to bring Bella right down. I'm sure Charlie will be expecting her home soon._

I left the room silently, though none of the attention was on me anyway. I wondered if Charlie even remembered I was there. He'd been so focused on Jacob, and how Billy was handling everything. He watched Jacob like it was his own child suffering, and I was reminded again of the depths of his friendship with Billy. It was good that he had someone he was so close to, since his daughter was about to disappear from his life. I felt a wave of guilt at the thought of taking her from him, but I forced myself to remember it wasn't my choice to make. As Carlisle had said earlier, all I was doing with giving Bella the life she wanted.

The phone rang once, and Alice answered with a grumble. "We'll be down right away. Honestly, I hope she's not this fidgety once she's a vampire. She'll break everything in the house."

I rolled my eyes as the line went dead, and started counting the seconds until Bella arrived. I was pacing, waiting for Charlie to leave, and when Alice pulled up less than five minutes later, I motioned for her to park the car behind the house. Worry was written all over Bella's face as she stepped out of the car. Her arms were folded over her chest as she anxiously waited to be allowed to enter.

"Charlie's gathering his things now," I said, listening on the chatter coming from inside the house. "Now that he's sure Billy is okay, he's focused on being there when you get home. He knows you're going to be upset."

"How's Jake?"

"He's okay. It was difficult, but he's already healing quickly. Carlisle gave him a great deal of morphine, and he was asleep for most of the process. He's still unconscious, so he won't be able to tell you himself, but I assure you, he'll be back to normal very soon."

She nodded, but I could tell she wasn't going to believe it until she saw with her own eyes. The moment Charlie left, Bella sprinted to the front door, nearly tripping along the way. I held her hand, determined not to let her injure herself in her haste, but it wasn't until I felt her grip tighten around my hand that I realized she was shaking. She didn't let go of me as we made our way through the house. I was surprised to find that not a single member of the pack had one ill thought toward me. They were all grateful for Carlisle's help in mending their injured brother, and, at least for the time, that appeared to grant me some level of immunity from their natural hatred.

Billy and Carlisle were talking quietly in the living room. When Billy met Bella's gaze, she smiled sympathetically and he nodded, motioning her toward Jacob's room. "Thank you," she said, followed by a nearly silent, "I'm so sorry."

When Bella opened the door, her breath caught. Jacob was being held together by countless bandages and splints, and there was a sheen of sweat covering his face. His breathing was shallow but steady, and tears filled Bella's eyes as she walked slowly toward him. She still didn't let go of my hand, and I wondered, had Jacob been awake, if she still would have been holding it. I knew how much she tormented herself over hurting him – over hurting either of us.

"You're sure he's okay?" she asked weakly.

"I assure you, his injuries appear far worse than they actually are. Carlisle is confident he'll be as good as new in weeks, if not days. Remember how quickly he heals."

"This is my fault." I started to shake my head, but she stopped me. "It is. All of it is. The newborns, the fight, the injuries."

"You have to stop thinking like that."

"He's hurt because of me." In that moment, I could see it on her face. I felt foolish for not understanding sooner. Her concern for Jacob went far beyond his injuries. She was worried about devastating him with the news that what they'd shared on the mountain didn't change anything. She was still going to marry me. She was still going to join my family.

She was still going to let herself be turned into something he hated.

I had to stop myself from asking her again if she was certain she wanted this life with me. I knew what her answer would be, and I knew it would only upset her to have to say the words again, especially in Jacob's presence. She'd made her choice. Now, she was simply trying to reconcile the consequences of it.

"Edward, do you think I'm a terrible person?"

"No, I think you're the most wonderful person I've ever encountered."

"Would you still think that, though, if I'd led you on all this time, only to choose someone else over you?"

"If you had decided you wanted to spend your life with Jacob, that wouldn't have made me love you any less."

She took a deep breath in, and I could tell she was trying not to let her tears spill over. She took several tentative steps toward Jacob, pulling me along beside her.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I've made a mess out of everything." She placed the hand that was not holding mine on his cheek, and his breathing sped up for a few seconds. I focused on his mind, trying to figure out if he knew she was there. His thoughts were scattered – quick, incoherent streams of consciousness that indicated he was dreaming.

Every thought was of Bella. He was replaying their kiss and Bella's reaction, he was imagining what I had said when she told me what happened between them. He was conflicted; part of him hoping I was furious, and another hoping I wouldn't be too hard on her. He really did love her, there was no denying that.

Feeling more of an intruder than normal, listening in on his dreams, I tried to block him out and listen for Alice. Since she'd had no desire to be in a house of werewolves, she was waiting outside, and I could hear her growing more anxious by the second. What started as quiet reminders that time was running short, quickly escalated until she was nearly shouting at me to make Bella hurry up. I just couldn't bring myself to make her leave, though, as I watched the concern on her face. Finally, my cell phone rang.

"Just give her a few more minutes, Alice," I whispered.

"She doesn't have a few minutes. She wanted to see that he was okay, and now she's seen him."

"I listened to Charlie on his way out. I couldn't get a clear read, but I could tell he wasn't going straight home. He's stopping by the police station to check on something first."

"Perfect. That gives me enough time to make Bella presentable."

I glanced down at Bella, who was still staring miserably at Jacob, and realized for the first time that she was in no condition to return home. Her hair was a mess, her clothes were filthy and tattered. She was supposed to be returning home from a shopping trip and an evening with Alice, not a weekend in the woods. She would need, at the very least, a shower and new clothes.

"Bella," I whispered, closing the phone. "I'm sorry, we're going to need to leave soon."

"But I just got here."

"I know. Your father will be home very soon, though, and you need to get cleaned up first."

She didn't take her eyes off of Jacob as one hand reached up idly to run through her disheveled hair. "Oh," she breathed.

"You can come back down after you talk to Charlie. I'm sure he'll be expecting nothing less. Just check in for a few minutes, maybe get something to eat. You must be starving. I'm sorry I haven't been taking care of you as well as I should."

She laughed once, an almost hysteric sound, and turned to me with the oddest expression. "You haven't been taking care of me?" she repeated. "What exactly do you think you were doing the last two days?"

"You know what I mean."

"Don't worry. Pretty soon I'll be out catching mountain lions with you. You won't have to worry about my silly human needs anymore."

She turned back to Jacob, her eyes not nearly as bright as they usually were when she talked about her new life. I squeezed her hand lightly.

"He'll hate me forever after this." Her voice broke and I watched as tears filled her eyes again.

"He won't hate you . . . he'll hate what you are. It's in his nature."

"That doesn't make it any easier."

"Well, perhaps it won't always be like this. After all, we fought beside the wolves today against a common enemy. That's something I never could have imagined happening. Maybe someday we'll find ourselves allies once more."

She turned to me, the tears running down her cheeks now, and shook her head. "I know what you're trying to do, and I love you so much for it. But you know it's not true. Everything will be different as soon as you change me. You'll break the treaty. What hope do we have of standing beside the wolves peacefully after that?"

I didn't know whether it was the absolute truth of her words, or the way she was speaking as if she were already one of us, but I felt a swell of emotion. My breath caught, and I knew there was nothing left to say. Somehow, the finality of the moment was enough to convince Bella it was time to leave. She looked at me with another pained expression.

"Will you stay here with him until he wakes up"

I didn't understand her request, but I also didn't see any reason not to grant it to her. "If that's what you'd like."

"I'm sorry, I know it's a ridiculous thing to ask, but Alice can't see him and I don't want to trouble Carlisle. He's already done so much for him. I just need to know that if anything changes, you'll let me know."

"Of course."

She dropped my hand for the first time since we'd arrived, and closed the small space between her and Jacob. She kissed his forehead, and closed her eyes as she whispered yet another apology for things that were not her fault. To my great relief, when she faced me again, her expression was more peaceful. She left without another word, and I waited. I knew Carlisle would be coming in soon to see why I wasn't with Bella.

I heard his quiet footsteps behind me not a minute later. _You're not going with her?_

"Alice is going to take her home and help her get ready. She'll be back down as soon as she's talked to Charlie."

I wanted to say more, but I wasn't sure how. I didn't know how to make Carlisle comprehend how, after so many of my stubborn refusals to leave Bella's side, after all we'd just been through, I was now choosing to stay in a house full of enemies, rather then be with my fiancee.

Not ready to look at Carlisle, I kept my stare fixed on Jacob – who loved my Bella with all his heart, who hated me and my family for taking her away from him and the life they could have had together. I felt Carlisle's hand on my shoulder as he struggled to understand.

_Edward, why are you here?_

"She asked me to stay."

I didn't see his smile, but I could hear it in my thoughts.

_It's always a pleasant surprise for me when I learn something new about the nature of love. _

I laughed under my breath at the thought of teaching Carlisle anything.

_Would you like me to stay? _he asked.

"If you'd like. I'm guessing the atmosphere is a little tense out there."

_Not particularly. The wolves are grateful for our assistance, which seems to have momentarily outweighed their disdain for us. Besides, Billy's made it clear that if any of them are anything but kind toward me, they are no longer welcome in his house._

"That's pretty remarkable."

_Fear and gratitude do strange things to people. But you've already figured that out, haven't you?_

I laughed again. Carlisle knew me so well. "I'd like to think that I'd be tolerant of Jacob, even if I didn't feel indebted to him. Bella cares about him. I'm not going to keep him out of her life."

_All that will be over soon, though, won't it? I can't imagine he'll want anything to do with her after she's changed._

"Of course." He heard the sadness in my voice, and obviously it wasn't because I was sorry to be rid of Jacob Black. Just because I was tolerant, didn't mean I wasn't anxiously awaiting the day he would be out of our lives.

_Bella's prepared for this, you know. She's chosen you, completely and without fear. She's aware of all the things she'll be giving up._

"Being aware she's going to lose loved ones, and actually feeling that loss are two very different things."

_Give it time. You know how quickly human memories fade._

"But is it wrong of me to try to shield her from further pain?"

_Of course not. As long as you understand that you won't be able to completely. There are things – people – she will miss. But she will have you, and our family. Soon, Jacob will be a distant human memory, one that will fade along with so many others. When you realize that, I believe you'll truly be ready to welcome Bella to this life of ours, and that you'll find the strength you need to bring her into it yourself._

Without another word, Carlisle left me to my thoughts. Faintly, I could hear him talking with Billy again, but I didn't bother trying to listen to what they were saying. My mind was elsewhere – on Bella, on what she was prepared to give up for me, and on how best to prepare for the monumental task that was before me.


	25. Needs

A/N: A big hello to all my wonderful readers, and a great big thank you as well. Thank you all so much for reading, and for following me along on this crazy ride. Thanks for your reviews and your kind words, and also for your patience, particularly on this final chapter. I started and stopped it so many times, but I just couldn't find the right rhythm. I think maybe I just wasn't ready for this journey to end. *sigh* But end it must, and I really hope you all enjoy the final chapter of Edward's Eclipse.

If you haven't already, please add me to your author alert so we can all stay in touch. I've had many requests to take on an EPOV of Breaking Dawn, and while that seems like a very daunting task right now, I anticipate writing (at the very least) some one-shots from it. I did promise y'all an EPOV Isle Esme, after all. ;) I don't have any guesses as to a time frame, and I am still hard at work on editing my own novel, but as you all know, I'm a sucker for diving into Edward's mind, and I doubt I'll be able to stay away for long.

Finally, thanks to shasta53 for catching my sleep deprivation induced grammatical errors and random plot hole issues, and just generally helping me make this story the best it can be for my wonderful fans. I appreciate you so much!

Needs

I wasn't waiting long before Jacob woke up, and when his eyes opened, it was clear I was the absolute last person he'd been expecting to see. We didn't bother exchanging pleasantries, and he was still far too medicated to try to ask why I hadn't left. I'd barely started for the door when Carlisle entered and looked at me meaningfully. He could see how ready I was to leave, though still determined to be respectful of my promise to Bella.

_She only asked that you stay until he woke up, isn't that correct? _I nodded reluctantly. _I'll check him over once more before I leave. You've more than fulfilled your duty._

I left the room silently, but even as I walked away, I found myself debating whether or not I should stay until Bella arrived. Fortunately, even though Alice couldn't see my decisions since I was among the wolves, she still had a knack for impeccable timing. The phone rang, and I stepped outside to answer it.

"Bella just disappeared, so she must be on her way. Are you coming home soon?"

"You don't think I should wait for her?"

"I don't know why you should put yourself through any more than you already have. Besides, Bella probably wants to talk to Jacob alone. After all, this might be her last chance to tell him goodbye."  
I didn't know exactly what Alice had seen, but there was an urgency in her voice I recognized – she knew something, and it was important.

"I'll be home in a few minutes," I told her as I took off running. The trees flew by me in a blur, and I had barely stepped onto the porch when I heard Alice's excited thoughts. She was racing around, designing and coordinating, and it took me a moment to realize what all her frantic energy was about.

She was planning Bella's and my wedding.

I flew inside the door, eyes wide and staring at her as she raced around the house. "What's going on?" I asked, too confused to feel hopeful or excited yet.

_Don't get all worked up, okay? The time frame is still unclear. _

But even as she said it, I could see it all. Alice had seen Bella marrying me, and it was going to happen very soon. Not only was it soon, but Bella was apparently planning on relinquishing all planning to Alice, who was all too happy to oblige.

"I don't understand, Alice. She's been so worried about Jacob, where is this all coming from?"

_I have no idea where the decision came from, but right in the middle of our afternoon together, after we'd gotten back from La Push, I would have sworn she was thinking about Jacob, but then the image of her marrying you became crystal clear. I've never seen her future with such absolute clarity. I can only assume it means she's finally come around to the whole idea. She genuinely wants this, so she's seeing it more clearly. She was even wearing the dress I helped design for her. That's how I knew she'd decided to let me take over the planning._

"But it doesn't make any sense. You didn't see her there with Jacob like I did. You didn't see the way she was looking at him. How could that have made her certain of her future with me?"

_I don't know. And I don't know why you're so worried about the details. I thought you would be excited._

"Of course I'm excited. I just wish I understood the decision. I want to make sure she's not rushing into it because she's afraid she'll change her mind. Afraid she'll wish she'd chosen differently."

Alice stopped in her tracks, and walked quietly over to me. She took my hand and looked into my eyes, speaking out loud to make sure I knew how serious she was.

"Bella wants _you_, Edward. She's made up her mind. She wants to marry you; she wants to spend eternity with you. It's time you stopped trying to understand her decisions, and started simply accepting them. The only one standing in the way of your future together, the future you've wanted desperately for so long, is you." Then, a sly little smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. "Now stop being such a downer, and let me get back to planning your wedding."

She disappeared in a blur and left me to my confusion. Slowly, though, doubt started to turn to hope, and hope turned to elation. Of course, Bella had already agreed to marry me, but I think part of me had still been expecting her to suggest a secret trip to Vegas and a marriage she wouldn't tell a soul about. The thought of her actually wanting a ceremony – one that Alice had planned, no less – filled me with joy. Maybe all we'd been through over the last few days had finally made her realize how important it was to tie our lives together in every way possible, and that it would be nice to share such a special occasion with friends and family.

Or maybe she was just trying to please everyone again.

Asking Alice wouldn't do a bit of good, because she could only see the outcome of Bella's decisions, not the motives behind them. Sadly, even asking Bella herself would offer me very little insight. When trying to make others happy, she could put on a wonderful smile and have even those who knew her best convinced.

"Um, Edward . . . ?"

Alice had spoken aloud again, her voice soft behind me. I was surprised I hadn't heard her approach. She was looking at me as if I'd missed something, so I quickly listened to her mind, and was horrified to find her watching Bella, alone in her truck and sobbing uncontrollably.

"What happened?" I shouted.

_I don't know. This is the first I've seen of her, so she must have just left La Push. _

"If he hurt her –"

_From what I've heard, Jacob isn't exactly in any shape to be hurting anyone._

Hearing Alice come to Jacob's defense startled me out of my rage, and I forced my thoughts to clear. "It probably wouldn't do any good to show up at Bella's truck screaming threats about Jacob."

_Probably not. Honestly, I think she just needs to get this out of her system. She's closed a chapter of her life, it's right that she mourn it. _I raised an eyebrow in question. _Briefly, _she added with a smirk.

I hurried toward the door, pausing just long enough for Alice to answer my silent question. _This doesn't change anything. She's still just as certain about your future together, wedding and all. _

With that, I was out the door and flying down the highway. I couldn't tell from Alice's vision how far Bella had driven before succumbing to her grief, but I hoped she'd made it over the boundary line. Not that I hadn't spent a great deal of time in wolf territory recently, but still, it was a very different thing to cross the line without being given permission. I breathed a sigh of relief when I spotted Bella's truck on the side of the road, more than a mile past the line. The moment I saw her red eyes and tear-stained face, though, I knew I would have taken my chances even if she hadn't made it across.

I opened her door as silently as the rusted truck would allow, and scooped her into my arms. She cried even harder as I held her, and my concern grew with every passing second. Time seemed to stand still as I waited for her tears to subside, and I tried to stop my mind from speculating what had caused her this pain. I still wasn't sure exactly what Bella had said to Jacob, but Alice, blind as she was to the goings on of the wolves, had seemed very confident it was something of a goodbye. Had Jacob said something hurtful to Bella when she was trying to give him nothing but honesty? Or was she merely feeling the repercussions of the decision she'd made to let herself be turned into an enemy of her dearest friend?

I stroked Bella's hair and muttered words of comfort in her ear, but truthfully, I knew there was nothing I could do for her. She was so distraught, shaking and sobbing, and I was completely helpless. The first and only word I recognized amid the sobs was, "Charlie." I knew Bella well enough to know she wasn't asking for him as a source of comfort. Her only concern was that he would worry if she was gone too long.

"Are you ready to go home?" I asked, wondering how she planned on pulling herself together enough to fool Charlie. It was a short car ride home.

"Charlie . . . worried. Can't see me like –" She started to explain, but then broke into another fit of sobs. "Sorry," she choked out as I held her closer.

"It's okay. We don't have to go anywhere yet."

"No.. . Charlie. Have to go. . ."

She was by no means coherent yet, but I understood how much she wanted to fulfill her obligations. This whole day had been about keeping up a ruse for Charlie's sake, and she knew it was every bit as important now as it was when Alice had invented an alibi so she could stand alongside us while we fought. Now, there was a different battle raging inside Bella, and it was absolute torture watching her put herself through it.

Through her misery, I heard her mutter Charlie's name a few more times. "Are you really ready to go home?" I asked. I was certain Bella had no intention of letting Charlie see her this upset, but I wasn't entirely convinced she could put herself together in the brief time it would take us to get back to Forks.

"Sooner than later . . . won't be . . . just have to . . . but he . . ." Whatever thought was trying to break through caused another flood of tears. Several minutes later, when she regained a moment of control over her emotions, she added, "not gonna stop. Have to get home." Silently, my grip tightened around her shoulder and I tentatively pressed my foot against the gas.

The air was heavy in the car, the weight of Bella's agony and my complete and total inability to fix her pressing down on both of us. There was nothing I could say or do that would make what she'd just been through any easier, and even though she knew it was excruciating for me to watch, there didn't seem to be any way for her to control her surge of emotion.

As the minutes passed, I listened to her breathing steady and her sobs grow softer. I would have liked to believe the worst was over, but I knew she was only putting up a front for Charlie.

When we pulled up in front of her house, I let go just long enough to hurry around the truck and open her door. She didn't give me her usual smile at the gesture, or even squeeze my hand when I reached down to help her out. Her brow was knit together in fierce concentration, struggling to hang onto some measure of control so she could get past Charlie.

"Wait for me upstairs," she said softly. Of course there was nowhere else I would be but by her side. I knew how hard the next few minutes would be for her, so I gave her one more reassuring hug before disappearing around the house. As I climbed in through her window, I heard Charlie's voice. He was asking about Jacob, and his thoughts were twisted with concern when he took in her expression.

"He's fine, he's fine," Bella promised. I wondered if Charlie noticed the way her voice broke on the word.

"But what happened? What happened to you?"

Now no longer certain that Jacob was the cause of Bella's grief, Charlie's mind jumped between several different scenarios. Most of them involved me and a wide array of things I would never say or do, and I tried not to feel offended. Clearly, I was making no forward progress in his book of approval.

"Nothing, Dad," Bella said, her voice still shaky. "I . . . just had to talk to Jacob about some things that were hard. I'm fine."

He immediately understood what Bella was saying; she'd chosen me, and had made that choice very clear to Jacob. I could almost feel the final drop as I officially became Charlie's least favorite person.

"Was this really the best time?" he asked.

"Probably not, Dad, but I didn't have any alternatives – " Bella caught herself as she almost said something Charlie wasn't allowed to hear. He couldn't know that Bella's moments with Jacob were numbered, and she'd finally counted this one as her last. "It just got to the point where I had to choose. Sometimes, there isn't any way to compromise."

I'd never been able to hear Charlie's jumbled thoughts clearly, so I was utterly dumbfounded when I heard his mind as if he'd spoken the words aloud.

_It's really over, then. She's gonna run off with Edward, I just know it. I'm gonna lose her. _

I wondered what his face was showing in that moment, and if Bella had any idea what he was thinking. Obviously, we both knew I wasn't the one whom Charlie wanted for Bella, but it hadn't occurred to me he was expecting us to simply disappear together. I wished I could go down there right then and do everything right. I should be asking for Charlie's blessing, and formally requesting his daughter's hand in marriage. He shouldn't have to worry about us running off into the night together. No father should. Then, I felt like the most despicable creature, as I realized that even if I were able to go about this in the right way – if I got Charlie's permission, if he was there to walk her down the aisle and give her away – the fact would still remain that Bella and I _would_ inevitably disappear. Because of me and my deplorable life, Charlie was never going to see his daughter after she was changed. He would lose her, just as he feared.

In my moment of self-loathing, I'd missed whatever goodnight Bella had offered Charlie, and she was already on her way up the stairs. I could hear that she was stumbling, and I opened the door just as another sob shook her body. The tears were streaking down her cheeks as her tired eyes tried to focus on the bracelet Jacob had given her. She was frantically fumbling with the clasp, and I reached out to take her hand in mine.

"No, Bella. It's part of who you are."

She collapsed into my arms and I held her tightly as she let her sorrow take her again. I didn't even think she noticed when I moved us to the rocking chair I'd sat in many ages ago. I thought back to that first morning, when I couldn't believe she had truly wanted me to stay with her all night. That she had trusted me enough to fall asleep beside me. The way she'd looking at me that morning had been one of the greatest moments of my life. Her easy acceptance of my unwavering attention, when she'd wanted the attention of no one else, and delight in her eyes when she realized I was here to stay, forever watching her and loving her.

There I sat in the same rocking chair, watching Bella cry for her best friend – the wolf who had saved her, the boy who loved her – and I wondered, just as I had before, how Bella could truly want _me. _I'd done this. I'd caused her this pain. Being with the one you love should never mean having to give up everything else in your life that has meaning, but because she loved me, it did. After an hour or so, I heard Charlie's footsteps outside Bella's door. I quickly moved us to the bed, and I prepared myself to hide should he decide to check on her. After hearing that Bella was still crying, however, he decided to stay away, and retreated to his own room. I'd never heard Charlie turn the radio on in his bedroom, but tonight, he simply couldn't stand to listen to his daughter weep.

There was a point in the night when I thought Bella was starting to drift toward sleep. I breathed a deep sigh of relief and gently stroked her hair, but a moment later, she inexplicably started shaking. I was afraid she was crying again, but I quickly realized the sound was much closer to laughter. It was humorless, though, and nearly hysterical. I panicked, wondering if something inside of her had finally snapped from the exertion of her emotional outpouring.

"Bella? Bella, love, are you all right?"

Her eyes were glazed over, and I doubted she could even hear me. She reached one hand up to run through her hair, but it caught in her matted mess of locks, and that only seemed to make her more frantic. I wished for the first time in a long time that I could read her mind, and find out what had brought on such an odd change of emotion. A moment later, I felt the buzzing of my phone and saw a message from Alice.

"I can see what a rough night this is, and I'm sorry. Remember, though, it will pass. And also try to remember that she's not just emotionally drained, but sleep deprived, too. She hasn't rested since the fight. Give her time. She'll be fine soon, I promise."

As I clicked my phone shut, I felt Bella relax slightly. Her hysteria seemed to have subsided, and I gladly welcomed back the quiet tears. At least I understood those. As she pressed her cheek into my chest, my mind started to wander, and I began thinking of what she had been like after I'd left. I felt guilty for even having the thought in the middle of her suffering, but it was impossible not to compare that reaction to the one she was having now. Of course, I hadn't been there to witness it first hand, but Jacob had a very good, very vivid memory, and he'd shared so much of it with me. Bella had been devastated by my leaving, there was no denying that, but after watching her fall apart tonight, I couldn't help but notice the difference. When I left, she had appeared empty and hollow, but the scene I was watching unfold now was almost violent. When I'd said goodbye, Bella had become a vacant shell, but now that she'd said goodbye to Jacob, she was convulsing from the pain of it. I could only speculate as to which reaction was worse, and I found myself asking the only question that could possibly matter – had she made the right choice?

Clearly, she wished she could keep us both in her life. It's what she'd been foolishly trying to do for a very long time. Some things were impossible, though, and as soon she had accepted that, she made her choice. I didn't delude myself into thinking the decision was only about me. I knew she was choosing my family, and our way of life as well, though if I lived a thousand years, I didn't think I would ever understand how she could chose to live as we do. Especially since there was another life, not quite normal, but far closer to it, that was hers for the taking. She could be with Jacob, a witness to his supernatural existence without having to join it. She could keep her humanity, and all the human ties that went with it. Perhaps the violence of her reaction, the absolute hysteria of it all, was a product of her realizing exactly what she was giving up to be with me.

I knew she loved Jacob, and I certainly expected her to grieve the loss of him in her life, but it was quite possible she was also grieving the life she could have had with him. It was the life she would have had if I'd left her alone from the very start, as I should have. It was the life Charlie wanted her to have, and one that he could have remained a part of. There were so many reasons Bella belonged with Jacob far more than she belonged with me, and maybe telling him goodbye had been all she needed to finally see that.

Lost in my own worried mind, I couldn't recall the exact moment when Bella finally fell asleep. All night long, my fingers traced her skin and ran through her hair, and I felt doubt assault me like it hadn't since the early days of our relationship. Maybe it had taken her actually saying the words, saying goodbye to Jacob in no uncertain terms, to change her mind as I'd so often feared she would. Maybe she would wake up, and the future Alice had seen so clearly would have disappeared. After all, she only saw as far as Bella's choices, and it was never too late for her to change her mind. What if she woke up and realized what she was giving up? Would her night of sorrow bring a morning of clarity? Would the sunrise mean the end for us? So consumed with doubt and fear, I almost retreated to the rocking chair, to await my fate as I once had. But if this was to be a turning point – if Alice, and myself, and everyone had been wrong – if this was to be my final night with Bella, then there was nothing in the universe that was going to tear me away from her.

When the beginnings of daylight crept through the window, I instinctively pulled Bella closer, trying to hang on for as long as I could. I wanted to keep her in the darkness of the night, where she was still mine, where she still wanted me. Despite my frantic efforts, it wasn't long before she began to stir. Her eyes met mine, dry but glassy, and I could tell her exhaustion hadn't dissipated in her few hours of sleep. I hardly knew where to begin, but when she breathed a strained, "hey," I felt my chest tighten. I was half expecting her to burst back into tears, and break my heart all over again.

When I didn't say anything, she attempted a smile, but it was as strained as her words. "No, I'm fine," she said. "That won't happen again."

My mouth nearly opened to argue with her. She's had no control over her swell of emotions the night before, I didn't see how she could promise to be in control of them now. I stopped myself, though, because I was not going to allow myself to make her feel guilty. If she'd changed her mind, if she wanted a life with Jacob, I wouldn't put her through the same thing he had.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," she said timidly. "That wasn't fair to you."

I should have known that she wouldn't need me to make herself feel guilty. Bella had always been too quick to place the blame on herself. I reached out to cradle her face in my hands, and as I looked deeply into her eyes, I could see our entire future there. I saw her standing beside me as we exchanged our vows. I felt her arms wrap around me as we joined ourselves together in every way. I imagined her eyes, crimson and then gold, joining my family in our endless existence. In that moment, I knew to my core – to the _soul_ Bella believed I still had – that we were meant to share this life. If she still wanted me, after all we'd been through, then I wasn't wasting one more second. I'd marry her today, or run away with her, or make love to her. Whatever she wanted, if she just said the word.

"Bella . . . are you _sure_? Did you make the right choice? I've never seen you in so much pain –"

The weight of what I was asking crushed me, strangled me. I felt her fingertips brush my lips, silencing me if I'd had any more words.

"Yes," she said simply. I wanted that to be it. I wanted to banish all my doubt with that one word, but I needed more. Our whole future was in her hands, whether she knew it or not, and I needed to know she was as certain as I was. I'd already learned long ago that I couldn't exist without her, and I had to know she felt the same about me.

"I don't know . . . If it hurts you so much, how can it possibly be the right thing for you?"

"Edward, I know who I can't live without."

"But . . ."

She shook her head, her expression pulled together in concentration. "You don't understand. You may be brave enough or strong enough to live without me, if that's what's best. But I could never be that self-sacrificing. I have to be with you. It's the only way I can live."

Her words were everything I wanted to hear, everything I needed, but the fears that had surfaced over the previous night had taken on a life of their own, and they were difficult to destroy.

"Hand me that book, will you?" she said, pointing to her nightstand.

"This again?" I asked, handing her the tattered copy of _Wuthering Heights._

"I just wanted to find this one part I remembered . . . to see how she said it . . ." I watched Bella's eyes as they glossed over the words she'd read so many times. I tried to fathom why she would need someone else's words to tell me something I so desperately needed to hear from her. Then again, how many times had I recited Shakespeare or Byron when my own words had failed me. Sometimes explaining ourselves, or the world, was beyond our reach, and we had to look to the great writers and poets to say it right.

When Bella found the words she was looking for, she took a deep breath. "Cathy's a monster, but there were a few things she got right. 'If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a might stranger.'"

She nodded softly, almost to herself. "I know exactly what she means," she whispered. "And I know who I can't live without."

I understood, and I felt foolish for not taking her at her words from the start. She'd told me she couldn't live without me, and she'd truly meant it. Everything suddenly made sense. I'd spent the night wondering which was worse – the fits and sobs of pain over losing Jacob, or the empty shell she'd become when I left – but now I knew. It wasn't a question of which was better or worse, but rather, what her life was without us. Without Jacob, she felt pain and sorrow, but she was still alive. She was still living, breathing, feeling. Without me, though, she had faded away. Her life wasn't a life anymore, and her world had dissolved as completely as mine had when I thought I'd lost her forever.

I grabbed the book from her hand and tossed it onto her desk. Scooping Bella up into my arms with a grin, I had to remember my strength so as not to crush her in my elation. All I wanted was to hold her tightly and never let go. My life, my love, my everything. I would never doubt her again.

"Heathcliff had his moments, too," I said, pulling her firmly to me. If it was too tight, she didn't protest. "'I _cannot _live without my life! I _cannot_ live without my soul!'"

"Yes. That's my point." I could feel her smiling against my chest. Even through my joy, my brain wouldn't stop racing, trying to think of a way for her to have everything; her life with me, but her friends and family as well. There had to be _something _I was missing.

"Bella, I can't stand for you to be miserable. Maybe . . ." I was glad she stopped me, because I really didn't know what _maybe _ I could have come up with. I already felt I had exhausted all our possibilities.

"No, Edward. I've made a real mess of things, and I'm going to have to live with that. But I know what I want and what I need . . . and what I'm going to do now."

"What are _we_ going to do now?"

She smiled, and I was happy to see she accepted that everything either of us did from here until forever, we would do together. With a slight sigh that took nothing away from her smile, she told me, "We are going to go see Alice."

I almost laughed. I supposed if I'd been thinking clearly the night before, Alice's message would have comforted me. Even though she hadn't been able to see what happened between Bella and Jacob, I knew she had seen the aftermath, and still she'd assured me Bella would get over whatever pain she was feeling. I'd just been far too distressed by Bella's misery to understand.

When we arrived at my house, Alice sprang up from the porch steps, positively beaming at Bella. It occurred to me that she'd never once had a moment of doubt about Bella and my future.

_When are you going to start listening to me? _she thought, rolling her eyes slightly before running up to Bella.

"Thank you, Bella!"

"Hold it, Alice. I've got a few limitations for you."

"I know, I know, I know." Of course she did. And she didn't care one bit. "I only have until August thirteenth at the latest, you have veto power on the guest list, and if I go overboard on anything, you'll never speak to me again."

Bella looked baffled for a split second, then sighed. I guess it did take a few decades to really get used to having a sister who knew you as well as you knew yourself.

"Oh, okay. Well, yeah. You know the rules, then."

"Don't worry, Bella, it will be perfect. Do you want to see you dress?"

Bella's heart sounded like it was going to beat out of her chest, and the color started to drain out of her cheeks. I glared at Alice, but nothing was going to derail her at this point.

"Sure," Bella managed to choke out, and Alice smiled defiantly.

_See, she's fine._

"Um, Alice. When did you get me a dress?"

I squeezed Bella's hand tightly. She was trying so hard to remain calm.

"These things take time, Bella. I mean, I wasn't _sure _things were going to turn out this way, but there was a distinct possibility . . . ."

She didn't miss a beat. "When?"

"Perrine Bruyere has a waiting list, you know. Fabric masterpieces don't happen overnight. If I hadn't thought ahead, you'd be wearing something off the rack!"

Alice was now officially digging her own grave. To be fair, though, she probably knew better than anyone that Bella didn't really want to hear how long Alice had been planning it all. In fact, even I didn't know exactly when her plans had begun, but I was fairly certain it was before I'd even proposed.

"Per – who?" Bella asked.

"He's not a major designer, Bella, so there's no need to throw a hissy fit. He's got promise, though, and he specialized in what I needed."

"I'm not throwing a fit."

"No, you're not." Alice paused for a moment, and I listened as she focused on Bella's immediate future. _No, no plans to sneak off with him and not tell me. Hmmm . . . _Once she was satisfied that Bella was still set on a big white wedding, she turned to me.

"You – out."

"Why?" Bella asked, sounding nervous for the first time since we'd arrived home.  
"Bella," she said disapprovingly. "You know the rules. He's not supposed to see the dress till the day of."

I shot Alice another glare which she completely ignored. I doubted Bella would want to be alone with Alice when she was in full wedding planning mode, and I really didn't want to be apart from Bella.

"It doesn't matter to me," Bella protested. "And you know he's already seen it in your head. But if that's how you want it . . ."

My heart sank when I realized Bella really was willing to put all her feelings aside to make Alice happy. And here I was, standing by and letting it happen. My eyes were fixed on Bella, but before I could say anything, Alice had pushed me backward. I barely caught Bella's assuring nod before the door slammed in my face.

_And don't you dare peek, _she nearly sang. She was thoroughly enjoying her victory, because despite what Bella had assumed, I _hadn't _actually seen the dress. I had a vague idea of what Alice had been looking for, and a few of her own design details had come through, but she'd been very careful never to think about the finished product. I would see it for the first time when Bella walked down the aisle.

I waited in the hallway from a respectable distance, and concentrated on not hearing anything I wasn't meant to hear. I focused instead on Carlisle and Esme, who were both in Carlisle's study. They were still reveling in the relief of our family having made it safely through the battle, and the fact that there were no other dangers in our foreseeable future. It was the first time in a long time that our family was actually able to relax, and they were more than ready to do so. Esme was also very excited about the wedding, and the chance to officially welcome Bella to the family. She had some rather extravagant ideas for wedding gifts for Bella and I, though it really didn't surprise me, coming from someone whose husband had given her an island.

It was sweet to hear them both speaking so fondly of Bella. They'd both considered her their daughter for quite some time, and it only helped me feel more certain that Bella belonged with us. It was true she would be giving up family and friends, but she was also getting a family in return; and not just any family, but one that had shown her time and again that they would protect her, and fight for her, no matter the cost. Perhaps this had been part of Bella's decision from the beginning, and I was the one who was two steps behind.

"Esme!" I heard Alice's voice calling excitedly. She appeared and disappeared in a flash without giving me a glance. She had wedding plans on the brain, and clearly, I had nothing to do with them. After all, I was just the groom, right? I might have been offended, but the moment I saw Bella's smiling face, nothing else mattered.

"That was very, very nice of you," I said.

"She seems happy."

It was a simple enough sentence, but I heard the unspoken words behind it. Alice was happy, and Esme, and Carlisle, and I was certainly ecstatic. But Bella wasn't. I reached out and held her face gently in my hands, seeing her expression for what it truly was. She wasn't throwing a fit, or protesting anything Alice had suggested. She was smiling and taking it all in stride, but she wasn't happy. She was tolerant, at best, and that just wasn't the right way to start a life together.

An idea was starting to form, an idea that might possibly change everything, and I knew if it became any clearer, Alice would see.

"Let's get out of here," I said, acting on instinct in a way a rarely allowed myself. "Let's go to our meadow."

Bella didn't argue, though I registered a flash of confusion in her eyes. Then, she smiled the first real smile I'd seen all day, and I knew I'd made the right choice. "I guess I don't have to hide out anymore, do I?"

"No. The danger is behind us." That alone was reason enough to celebrate, and I was more than happy to share that celebration with my future wife.

I scooped Bella up into my arms and took off running. I didn't let myself think any longer on my fleeting idea for fear that Alice would try to stop me. My every thought was focused on simply getting us to our meadow. It was the only place I wanted us to be, the one place I knew we'd be completely alone. This was the most important thing, because the one thing I knew for certain was that no one – not Alice, or Jacob, or even myself – was going to influence Bella's decisions anymore.

When we reached the meadow, Bella and I laid down in the grass beside each other, hand in hand, staring up at the peaceful sky. Her fingers were idly tracing the back of my hand, and as the clouds drifted above us, I thought of a way to start the conversation that would tell me everything I needed to know.

"August thirteenth?" I asked. I waited for the cringe that usually came when I mentioned anything having to do with the wedding, but she just shrugged.

"That gives me a month till my birthday. I didn't want to cut it too close."

I sighed. Always so caught up on the age detail. There probably wasn't anything I could say to make her understand, but I was sure after a few decades, she would realize what little difference a few human years made in our endless lives.

"Esme is three years older than Carlisle – technically," I offered. "Did you know that?" She shook her head. "It hasn't made any difference to them."

She thought for a minute, and I assumed she was coming up with some new argument why nineteen was so much worse than eighteen. When she spoke again, though, her words took me by surprise.

"My age is not really that important. Edward, I'm ready. I've chosen my life – now I want to start living it."

I was thrilled to hear that her rushing into things wasn't just because she was afraid of getting older, and it was almost enough to throw me completely off track. As I ran my fingers through her hair, though, I quickly reminded myself that wasn't what I needed to know. What I needed to find out was whether there was _any _part of her that actually wanted to get married, or if she was still only trying to please everyone else. The clarity of Alice's vision had made me think Bella was coming around to my way of thinking, but watching them together today had made me realize I'd been wrong again.

"The guest list veto?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation back toward the wedding.

"I don't care really, but I . . . I'm not sure if Alice would feel the need to invite . . . a few werewolves. I don't know if . . . Jake would feel like . . . like he _should _come. Like that's the right thing to do, or that I'd get my feelings hurt if he didn't. He shouldn't have to go through that."

It was that moment, listening to her struggle to explain something that should have been so simple, that I realized to what extent she was pushing her own wants and needs aside. She didn't want Alice to have to worry about who to invite, she didn't want Jacob to have to make the choice of whether or not to come. Most distressing of all was the fact that she didn't even know how to talk to me about her concerns, because she was afraid I'd be offended.

I pulled Bella onto me in one swift motion, pressing her chest against mine. I needed to look into her eyes. I had to understand this preoccupation of hers with looking out for everyone but herself.

"Tell me why you're doing this, Bella. Why did you decide, now, to give Alice free reign?"

"You weren't there, Edward! You didn't hear the way Charlie was talking. It was almost like . . . almost like he _knew _what we were planning. He told me he had this feeling he was going to lose me. He made me promise I'd talk to him before I did anything major, before I ran away with you. He was practically shaking. I can't just leave without a trace. Without any explanation. Maybe he'd figure that we ran off to Vegas and got married, but he wouldn't know for sure. You may not be his favorite person, but even so, I think it's only fair he know that I've made my choice. That I'm going to spend my life with you. He is the father of the bride, after all. It wouldn't be fair to keep Charlie out of this."

She paused, before adding with a sigh, "And that means Renee and Phil. I might as well let Alice have her fun, too. Maybe it will make the whole thing easier for Charlie if he gets his proper goodbye. Even if he thinks it's much too early, I wouldn't want to cheat him out of the chance to walk me down the aisle."

Finally, I saw the telltale cringe; the look on her face that told me absolutely none of this was for her. She took a deep breath, and continued justifying her decision. "At least my mom and dad and my friends will know the best part of my choice, the most I'm allowed to tell them. They'll know I chose you, and they'll know we're together. They'll know I'm happy, wherever I am. I think that's the best I can do for them."

There was more, too, and I knew it without her saying it. She knew how much it meant to me, to start our lives together properly. Or rather, my idea of properly. I touched her face and gazed into her eyes, thinking about all the things she wanted for those she loved. She wanted her parents to know she was happy with the life she'd chosen, and she wanted Alice to have fun playing decorator and party planner. She wanted me to have the wedding I thought we both deserved, and only after all that was said and done would she get what she wanted. That wasn't how our life together should begin.

I realized then, that was what all this came down to – how should our life together begin? Suddenly, it was all clear. Our life together shouldn't start with Bella putting on a show for her family and friends, and it shouldn't start with her trying to fulfill one more of my selfish requests. She was already sacrificing so much for me, what right did I have to ask anything else of her? I knew the words I wanted to say, but there were so many other factors involved now – Charlie, Renee, Alice – and I wasn't sure if taking my desires out of the equation would change her mind. Still, I knew I had to try. She had to know that my only priority was her happiness.

The lines had been blurred between what she wanted and what she only wanted for everyone else's sake, but there were two things I knew with utter certainty. Bella wanted me to change her myself, and she didn't want to wait, putting it off when she'd already made her choice. The only thing she did want to wait for was for us to be together in _every _way possible. This, of course, was the one thing I'd been stubbornly refusing. So, maybe that was the key. If I gave in, gave her what she'd been asking of me since the night we'd gotten engaged, everything else would fall into place, and Bella could join me in our forever the way she wanted to. For so long, I'd tried to make her decisions for her, or convince her to see the world my way, yet every time, I'd made things worse. It was time I stopped thinking and reasoning, and tried seeing the world through Bella's eyes.

"Deal's off," I said firmly.

"_What? _You're backing out? No!"

"I'm not backing out, Bella. I'll still keep my side of the bargain. But you're off the hook. Whatever you want, no strings attached."

"Why?"

"Bella, I see what you're doing. You're trying to make everyone else happy. And I don't care about anyone else's feelings. I only need _you _to be happy. Don't worry about breaking the news to Alice. I'll take care of it. I promise she won't make you feel guilty."

Alice would never let me live it down for the rest of eternity, but I would make sure none of the blame fell on Bella.

"But I – "

"No. We're doing this your way. Because my way doesn't work. I call you stubborn, but look at what _I've _done. I've clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of what's best for you, though it's only hurt you. Hurt you so deeply, time and time again. I don't trust myself anymore. You can have happiness your way. My way is always wrong. So." I took a deep breath, because my next words would seal her fate. Even though it was a fate she'd chosen, I still felt like a monster for saying it aloud. "We're doing it _your way, _Bella. Tonight. Today. The sooner the better. I'll speak to Carlisle. I was thinking that maybe if we gave you enough morphine, it wouldn't be so bad. It's worth a try." I tried to hide my agony, but the thought of Bella going through that, even with the help of morphine, was almost too much to bear.

"Edward, no – "

She started to protest, but there was no turning back. I knew what I had to do. Bella was giving her life to me, and so I could deny her nothing. I touched my finger to her lips, and silently reminded myself that we'd been through many things I didn't believe I had the strength for. The first had happened in this very meadow, when it seemed a great feat simply to lay beside her and calm my thirst. Now, with my love, my _life_ beside me, I knew I would find a way to give her everything without losing myself.

"Don't worry, Bella, love. I haven't forgotten the rest of your demands."

My only thought was of not hurting her as I threaded my fingers through her hair and kissed her with all the love and promise I needed to convey. It didn't take Bella long to respond, though I knew I'd caught her off guard. When she sank into me and started kissing me back in earnest, I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head. We so rarely got to be alone – truly alone – and I was quickly forgetting why I'd said no for so long. Bella was pressed against me, and pulling herself more tightly to me with every breath, like she couldn't get close enough. All I could think was, _this is where I belong. _

I hadn't consciously made the decision, but a moment later, as Bella hugged herself to me with all her might, I rolled over until I was hovering above her. I opened my eyes just long enough to take in her exquisite face, then my lips were on hers again. Her fingers were gripping me so hard, it was impossible not to feel how much she wanted me, and I'd never wanted her so much. I didn't understand when I felt her start to shake her head back and forth, but I trailed my lips from her mouth to her neck so she could speak.

"Stop, Edward. Wait."

It was the last thing I'd expected to hear, and all I could manage in my confusion was a whispered, "Why?"

"I don't want to do this now."

I nearly laughed. "Don't you?" Then, to show her how unconvinced I was, I pressed my lips to hers again. There was a desperation to her kiss that only proved my point, but soon, she exhaled, and I could feel a change in her touch. Her fingers loosened from my hair, and then they were pressing against my chest. Baffled, I pulled away from her, and after our bodies were no longer pressed together, I realized exactly how deeply I desired her. Every inch of my body was on fire, and every thought in my mind was shouting, _more. _

As I stared into her eyes, I asked her again. "Why? I love you. I want you. Right now."

Bella's eyes widened and she looked like she wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. That was fine. We didn't need words anymore. Desperate to get close to her again, I closed the small space between us and pressed my mouth to hers once more. It was growing increasingly difficult to remember my strength, and how easily I could crush her, but I was determined to keep control. I could handle this. There was no instinct stronger than the instinct to keep her safe. In the end, I knew that would win out over even the most passionate of desires.

"Wait, wait," she muttered.

Thinking she was worried about me and whether or not I was in control, I shook my head, mumbling, "Not for me."

"_Please?_"

With a great deal of difficulty, I pushed myself off of her until I was lying on my back. Neither of us said a word as we both tried uselessly to calm our breathing. I focused on counting the beats of her heart, but of course, it was racing, which only reminded me of _why _it was racing. I shut my eyes and tried to form a coherent thought. Eventually, I remembered what had brought us to this moment in the first place; Bella's unwavering need to please everyone else.

"Tell me why not, Bella. This had better not be about me."

She seemed to chuckle under her breath, and I hoped she knew I was serious. I wasn't worried any longer about our previous arrangements, or the time frame that had once seemed so important. All I wanted was to give Bella everything she wanted – and now, I realized, everything _I _wanted – so we could start our lives together the right way.

"Edward, this is very important to me," she finally said. "I _am _going to do this right."

"Who's definition of right?"

"Mine."

I turned on my side until I was facing her. I knew I needed to look at her, to know where all of this was coming from. I didn't see how she could have changed her mind so completely in the last ten minutes.

"_How _are you going to do this right?" I asked.

She took what looked like a breath for courage, and when she spoke, there was nothing but utter resolve in her voice.

"Responsibly. Everything in the right order. I will not leave Charlie and Renee without the best resolution I can give them. I won't deny Alice her fun, if I'm having a wedding anyway. And I _will_ tie myself to you in every human way, before I ask you to make me immortal. I'm following all the rules, Edward. Your soul is far, far too important for me to take chances with. You're not going to budge me on this."

She was speaking entirely too logically, considering my heart doesn't even beat and I thought my chest was going to explode. The more responsible side of me knew there was no arguing with her, however there was still a small part that could only think about how wonderful it had felt to finally let go and just _be _together. And that part of me just didn't seem to be able to stay quiet.

"I'll bet I _could._"

"But you _wouldn't_. Not knowing that this is what I really need."

"You don't fight fair."

"Never said I did." Her grin somehow managed to silence that small, but very vocal, side of my consciousness, and I managed a sincere smile in return.

"If you change your mind . . ."

"You'll be the first to know."

As if the universe was confirming that we had, in fact, made the right decision, the sky opened up and began to shower drops of rain on us. Having effectively ended our interlude, Bella glared up at the sky.

"I'll get you home," I said reluctantly as I reached out to brush a raindrop from her cheek. Someday very soon, we would never have to part ways again. I wouldn't have to return her to Charlie, to her house, to her own room. My home would be her home, and the end of a day in our meadow would only mean the start of our night together.

"Rain's not the problem. It just means that it's time to go do something that will be very unpleasant and possible even highly dangerous."

My expression stiffened as I tried to imagine what danger we could possibly have left to face. She let out a sigh, though there was a hint of amusement behind it. "It's a good thing you're bulletproof. I'm going to need that ring. It's time to tell Charlie."

I laughed in relief, though perhaps I should have been a tad worried. Charlie's thoughts – or at least his thoughts about how much he disliked me – _had_ gotten much clearer as of late. It seemed likely I would soon be hearing some very clear, very unpleasant things, and they would all be directed toward me. All in all, it was a small price to pay for eternity with the woman I loved.

"Highly dangerous," I agreed with a grin.

Then, my heart soared as I realized what this meant. Finally, I could place Bella's ring on her finger, knowing she would never need to take it off again. There was no more need to hide, no one that would ever be able to question again that Bella was mine and I was hers. I reached into my pocket to retrieve the ring, and felt another surge of emotion when I saw that Bella's eyes had started to fill with tears. The smile never left her face as I slid it into place on her finger, and together we left our meadow – hand in hand, perfectly content, and ready to begin the rest of our lives.


End file.
